2023-08-19: Creation ~AWAKENING~
- Log: 2023-08-19- Creation ~AWAKENING~
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Gridman, Rikka Takarada, Sayla Mass, Takeshi Todo, Kaworu Nagisa, Gai Kurenai, Alouette Pommier, Liam 7-020, Lucine Azul, Ruri Hoshino, Lamia, Leina Ashta, Qivi, Guy Shishioh, Sho Utsumi
- Where: ??????
- OOC - IC Date: 0097-08-19
- Summary: You are not alone.
Wherever.
Forever.
Takes place after 2023-08-19: Destruction, 2023-08-19: We Are The Universe's... ~TRIGGER~, and 2023-08-19: Creation, and leads into 2023-08-19: Finite Life.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Alexis looks down at Gridman's defeated form, and begins his slow ascent again; with Tsutsujidai plunged back into the Computer World, 'up' is once again difficult, and the source of this newfound difficulty is of course none other than Alexis himself.
(After all: it has always been Gridknight who posited the concept of 'up,' in Tsutsujidai.)
Even so: he is departing. There can be no mistaking the way he moves for the path out of Tsutsujidai -- and no mistaking the way that the tiny red light, hanging on by a thread, gets dimmer and dimmer as he ascends.
Once again: Akane Shinjo is in her room. She'd never been able to bring herself to clear the garbage out of it or move on -- so naturally, she's again in her room. She remains curled up on her chair, waiting for the end of things. In the end... this is even worse than if she'd never been 'rescued,' she concludes, hugging her knees to her chest, lilac hair hanging over her eyes.
The result didn't change -- and what's more, the parting will hurt everyone worse, this way. At least this way she can stop before her gentle heart does any more damage, creates any more monsters.
'It's better with you in it?'
What a joke.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
...access...flash...
There's someone else here. Gridman's soul was sundered into six pieces, but here, there are seven. Somehow, though the seventh pieces merges with the Giant of Light to form one cohesive whole, he keeps his identity. It's always fought for that. Existence. Individuality. Through all he's learned, he's always been...
A Knight who protects Gridman.
Knight's spirit bolsters Gridman, adding new strength. This isn't something Gridman could do on his own, is it? Without Knight, this strength would be impossible.
Distantly, Gridman feels himself falling. His awareness turns inward.
Knight isn't the only one here. Though he's fused with Gridman's heart the most fiercely (never to be outdone, of course), there are others, bolstering the Giant of Light with every ounce of their own spirits. Shimmering with their own Light, like many sparks coming together to arc between the clouds.
Don't give up, Gridman! We're all watching over you!
Alouette. She's given so much for Tsutsujidai, and the people Gridman cares about most. Of course she would be here, too, with her unending courage. Her presence reminds Gridman of all of GGG -- surely fighting just as hard to save Tsutsujidai as Gridman is. They were here in the dark times when the city fell from reality, and they're here now, with no one standing more bravely than Alouette herself.
You're beautiful.
Warmth blossoms in the Giant's metal body. Kaworu, Kaworu. The boy he made promises to. Not fate, but fun. Even if Gridman hasn't been the best at keeping that promise, Kaworu's still here. Even at the end of things, now, watching over Gridman. Through all they've been through together, Kaworu's faith and love has never wavered. Gridman has always believed Kaworu was special, capable of so much more than everyone else.
I pray, for all of our sakes, that you are able to reach Akane -- 'This world's Takeshi' -- and save her heart before it is too late.
Little brother, Gridman realizes, as Sigma's words echo through their unique bond. Oh. All this time, Gridman thought Sigma was the big brother. He could almost laugh. Everything Sigma's taught him, both of their home, and the Computer World, he's been way more of a 'big brother' than Gridman ever could be. Sigma's ability to connect with others, his belief in humanity, his gentle kindness... How much of that shaped who Gridman is now?
COME ON, GRIDMAN! GET 'IM!
Rikka's friend -- no, Gridman's friend, too. They made sure of that. They had the top three best day ever at the waterpark together, right? And Namiko was here for Tsutsujidai when Gridman couldn't be. Even now, she's protecting the people of the city, being where the Giant of Light can't go.
I don't know how much longer he can hold out.
Sayla Mass... Her other name doesn't matter. She's Sayla Mass, to Gridman, just as he is Gridman to her. Always there to guide him. Always showing him how much more this world has to offer. How humanity can come together, when they're safe, and build their lives. It doesn't matter who has training, or who is ready -- when it's time, they find each other.
I might be able to help too.
His first instinct is to flinch away, guilt eating at him for not doing more, but -- Leina wouldn't accept that. She would pull him in, just as she did so long ago, and hug him tight. They've shared joy together, and sorrow, from magical girls to the Vist Foundation. No one could be stronger, with what she's experienced. To have suffered so much and still arrive in Tsutsujidai in their hour of need, there's no way Gridman is capable of that.
Fight! Gridman!
GRIDMAN!!
Something clicks into place.
It was never "something only I can do."
It was always "something we can do together."
Gridman crashes agains the digitized street, and does not move.
But he begins to shine.
Pink, glimmering light exudes from the Giant of Light. In an instant, the gaping wounds in his side and shoulder have closed, leaving no hint of scarring. Shimmering grace falls from his form, dripping onto the digital remains of Tsutsujidai like summer rain, and a change begins to occur.
Haloed in pink light, Tsutsujidai begins to re-emerge. Black-and-green computer world shapes heal, knitting together without flaw.
"I see. My power -- our power, is not just the power to fight and destroy." Gridman gets to his feet, looking down at his unarmored hands. "My true power, is..."
Golden eyes lock onto Alexis Kerib with a pulse of golden light.
Bringing his arms together over his chest, Gridman shouts, "Grid... Fixer Beam!"
White brilliance bursts forth, quickly overtaken by the soft pink light. Despite its gentleness, it washes forward, passing over the ruined shapes of Tsutsujidai and chasing after Alexis Kerib. Gridman spreads his arms, feeling the Light of everyone who believes in him expressed through this pink radiance -- this Fixer Beam.
"Fixer Beam is the power to mend this world! For this world's creator. To rescue the heart of Akane Shinjo!"
For what else does Gridman exist? It was never to stop Alexis Kerib. It was to save Akane Shinjo. And it cannot be done alone.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Gridman crashes to the ground, unmoving. Rikka's breath catches in her throat.
"No..." She murmurs, shaking her head. This can't... it can't end like this. For a moment she feels despair...
but then, there is light. Pink, glimmering light, shedding off of Gridman - across Tsutsujidai. Where the city had reverted back to the computer world shapes, Tsutsujidai heals.
"This power..." Rikka whispers. ...It's beautiful. It's as he says. This is Gridman's - no, everyone's power. Gridman unleashes the Grid Fixer Beam - a brilliant but gentle light that envelops everything in its radiance.
...It's time. She feels it in her heart.
Rikka climbs down and settles into Synchrotank's cockpit. All told, the environment is at least more comfortable than the Mu Gundam's. Sitting here... it's like she's surrounded by everyone who brought her this far. That thought reassures her a little, and she takes a deep breath.
Connecting Synchrotank's Psychoframe with the Banshee's... it's a situation that's all too familiar. Can she really go through with this? ...She has to. There's no better time than now. She'll just have to... trust in herself. And trust Leina. The scars are still there, but they've come so far.
"Okay, Leina, I'm ready. I'm activating the Psychoframe now." Rikka announces. Synchrotank's funnels flare to life - and she feels her senses broaden, as the Psychoframe sample from Sayla that she installed comes to life. She almost misses the feeling, somewhat. But what she doesn't miss... is the hands that come for her. Rikka feels a spike of fear as they approach. She shakes her head unconsciously, hands freezing on Synchrotank's controls. For a second, the sight of them is enough to make her consider backing down. ...But she doesn't.
She knows why they're doing this.
To rescue the heart of Akane Shinjo.
The hands reach her - but rather than seize her and drag her away by force, they grasp her gently. They lead, rather than pull - and Rikka closes her eyes, allowing herself to be lead, trusting Leina that she'll be safe.
"Akane... I'm on my way." She murmurs. She knows without a doubt she'll reach her. Rikka is lead toward that waning red light - and in the joined light of the Fixer Beam and the Psychoframe, a path is forged from her bonds for others to follow.
For a moment, all is light. And then, things resolve - Rikka can see Akane clearly in her room, curled up with her knees hugged close to her chest.
Rikka stands apart, lit by the light of the setting sun, the warmth that's always supported her.
"Akane." Rikka calls out. Her voice carries, even through the walls Akane has shut herself into, been shut into.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Buckling herself back into the Banshee's second seat, Sayla takes a deep breath. The plan has risks- relying as it is on a technique used on the Garuda. But unlike then, she'd be there to try and keep them themselves. "We're ready to move."
And then Gridman, standing up after the beating he's taken, shines. "He can still keep going...?" She shakes her head. Of course he can. He doesn't give up, does he...
And then the world starts to mend, and Sayla looks shocked... before smiling. "You've found it. The other way you can help people..." She opens her comms. "Gridman... Rikka... Bring her back to us!"
Rikka reaches out, and the Banshee starts to resonate. The hands aren't here for her- but she can feel the presence all the same. It's different, quieter, gentler. Her own hand rests on Leina's, as she tries to use the Banshee as a repeater. A wordless faith.
And then Sayla feels it. That connection, eclipsed by darkness, suddenly reopens- The path opened by the two people there.
"Akane?" She says it out loud, and also in that space. Can she hear her? Can her words reach?
She has to try.
"Akane, if you can hear me, we're not giving up on you. We're coming for you." She tries to steady her voice, to be reassuring and solid, despite the worry. "There's no way I'm going to just going to let this happen. Not after everything you've done for us. Not after how far you've come. Not after becoming such an important part of our lives. I'm not giving up on someone I care about!"
Sayla's voice continues to get louder. "...You still have plenty of places you want to go, don't you? Plenty of things you still want to do?" There's something... plaintive in Sayla's voice.
"I want to see you do those things, go those places. I want to hear you talk about them, happy or sad or angry or whatever you feel. I want you to have those experiences you're looking forward to."
The calm veneer cracks, and what pours out is raw emotion. The worry, the desperate desire for Akane to return. "I want to see the future you make for yourself! The future you make with your friends, with Knight, with Rikka! There's a place for you here, and I'm going to do all I can to make sure you come back to it, so you can keep taking the next steps you want to! Don't give up, please!"
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
Human hearts are such fragile things.
No matter what era, the most shining examples of the human race are those who open their hearts to others, sharing in their dreams and sharing their own in turn. History might say otherwise, too often it is written by the victorious conqueror, it is biased and cruel.
And so is Gridman Sigma, some might say. Biased because of his clear adoration for humankind. Cruel because he has for so long held the policy that humans should be allowed the chance to fail, to fall, but only because he knows how brightly they shine when they rise again.
"He's done it...!" he says, as Gridman remembers his purpose-- as the Fixer Beam is unleashed. The world begins to mend, to heal. That's right, he was always the 'little' brother, but now... Well, time has truly become convoluted for the two of them, hasn't it? Pink light splits the sky, mending all wounds, physical or otherwise. Sigma laughs, perhaps even in disbelief. He looks to the one at his side and smiles, "He did it, but this isn't over yet. I'll see you on the other side, Kaworu Nagisa." With a flash of light, Agent Sigma disappears, racing toward the current of warmth radiating from Gridman-- and toward the gates of Akane's heart.
...
......
.........
"Miss Shinjo," his voice is kind, gentle, but undeniably firm. The voice of her once-upon-a-time math teacher resonates out through the fog. "I understand that deceit was a foundational pillar of our relationship; we were both playing a role when we dwelt together in this place, in this Tsutsujidai that you created, but in my time here... In my time in this place that is 'your heart,' I saw who you really were."
"None of us, not the greatest or the worst, have full control over our hearts. That is the great lie that the Hyper Devil sold to you, that you could ever reign here as 'goddess.'" Sigma explains.
There's a sense of the other Hyper Agent standing nearby, and quite possibly also of him also absolutely monopolizing the time he has, being his overly verbose self as always. She'd know from working with him that he's a quiet type-- until you get him talking. Then it's hard to get Agent Sigma to stop! In a way, though, it's... how he shows he cares.
"But... That's the thing, Akane. The world you made out of your heart-- it has its rough spots, sure, but it is full of love and wonder. Countless lives living and sharing their miseries and their joys. This world that is your heart grew beyond your control, and as it turned out, many of those people whose lives you invented have become great heroes. Others have become incredible friends, sources of invaluable comfort and joy, and all of them sprang from the same place. Your heart, no matter how many wounds have been carved into it, is a wonderful, beautiful place, so overflowing with strength that it can't help but grow into something amazing."
"But those are platitudes," he admits after a moment, voice softening as if remembering something from long ago. Maybe he was told off for taking that exact same tack in the past. For a being of Bonds, there was a time where he had barely an inkling of the complexities of the human heart. Even now, he doesn't really. Still, he must try. "In the moment, I'm sure they sound ridiculous. That the idea of being worth anything to anyone is absurd. Akane, it's true that all things in life are temporary. The good times that you had, the 'dream' that you lived, they couldn't last forever. But this won't, either. This darkness you've fallen into, it won't cling to you forever."
"I won't ask you to feel anything other than the misery you're experiencing now," his voice comes from nearer still, now. As if he were crouching right down in the mounds of trash alongside her. "...But you must not give up, either. Not just as a member of GGG, because of the oath that you swore in courage, but because... Once the night passes, and the wounds on your heart have turned to scars, good days will come again. You deserve to see them. We all do. Maybe you won't be able to forgive yourself. Maybe there will be those who won't forgive you. But you aught to keep walking on, even so."
"...Because no matter how impossible it seems, there are so many who will. Who want to be with you, to share those good days, and to help shoulder the bad. It doesn't matter how stained your soul may be, you are loved, and deserve to see the dawning of another good day."
"After all, if 'Takeshi Todo' deserved a chance to see a brighter tomorrow-- then so do you. Hyper Devils be damned, I know you deserve that chance. Perhaps you won't walk the exact same path as he did-- but if his journey was in any way similar to what yours will be, then I promise you. There will be a brighter day, whether you think you deserve it or not. You are worth fighting for, Akane Shinjo."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Still standing next to Sigma, Kaworu watches as Alexis climbs into the heavens, out of Tsutsujidai. He had told Sigma that this battle is not yet over, and he believes that still. He knows it, and as his gaze descends to where Gridman had fallen and now shines pearlescent pink, his smile grows.
"So this is the Fixer Beam. At last, he's remembered," he murmurs, watching as that power returns to Gridman and washes out over the city, chases after Alexis. White and red and pink... It's a familiar trio.
He regards Sigma. "Indeed. After you, Gridman Sigma," he says graciously, nodding once before he lifts his chin, his gaze on that dwindling twinkle and the soul that remains within. Rikka and Leina may have united the Synchrotank and Banshee's Psychoframes, but that's never been necessary for him.
---
Softly, Kaworu hums a Hero's melody. He stands to one side of Akane's room, hands in his pockets like always, watching her in her chair without crowding her. Briefly, he smiles up at Rikka and Sayla and the others--they're all here for the same reason, after all--before he regards 'God' again.
"Thank you, Akane Shinjo. Because you were here, my world has become a little richer and a little broader. Pain has come with it, it's true... but that pain, too, has value and meaning.
"In other words, I'm glad I met you. If this is to be goodbye, I won't forget you--but I hope we'll meet again. Very, very soon."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
What was created can be destroyed. What was destroyed can be rebuilt anew, in infinite creation. This world was held to reality with the Galeoria Pliers --
-- but it was created by a lonely girl, and populated by the kaiju she let run free. She wished for a world that was kinder, and while the method she'd been handed was never one that worked, perhaps she had the right idea:
You need to make a kinder world.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Loneliness has made kindnesses so foreign to Alexis Kerib's heart that he can only understand them as violence. He's engulfed in pink -- and he screams, as his heart is opened to the world. "Fixer Beam?!" Alexis cries, agonized.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Akane hears people coming -- and she starts, bit by bit, to walk to the door. It's a miserable process -- every step of the way, as she hears people calling her name, she has to pull herself over the trash she left behind -- the cruelties she created. The Akane these people want to believe in... that died the instant Alexis stabbed Knight, didn't it? Splattered with his blood and surrounded by the wreckage she made in search of a kinder world -- how can she even face them like that?
"I'm... terrible," she says, slumping against the door. "I'm unfair -- I'm cruel, and I hurt you --"
She can hear those voices outside the door, and they're so loud. 'To rescue the heart of Akane Shinjo,' 'Akane,' 'Shinjo,' 'Akane' -- and they begin to speak.
"It doesn't matter!" Akane screams at Sayla. "I tried doing that stuff -- I was just lying to myself! I was right the whole time! I ruin people's lives just by existing! Knight -- Rikka -- Leina -- and now Sakura and Akamatsu-san, too! Why would I go anywhere if I'm just going to make it worse by going there?!"
'Takeshi' -- Gridman Sigma -- reaches out with the help of his brother, in this foggy, dim place. "If it was a lie, then it can't ever matter!" she screams, ragged, her forearm pounding on the door. "You're right -- I never had full control! I never had any control -- and all of those people... they would have been better off without me!"
The Hyper Agent anticipates this, though -- and moves on from the empty words he offers, to the heart of the matter. Even if she doesn't forgive herself -- there are so many people who will.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Sho Utsumi follows his friends into the heart of a lonely girl. When Akane had reached into his heart and tried to set things back to the way they were, they'd made a genuine connection -- and he'd told her then that if she had connected with him in the real world in just the way they did in that dream, perhaps they could have been friends.
Maybe this time, he needs to make the first move.
"He's right," he says. "Nobody's perfect. It's okay to hate the person you were sometimes. It's even okay to hate the person you are. That's why we rely on others." There's a determination in his eyes he's only ever managed to offer Gridman... but here, now, Gridman isn't the only one who needs that determination.
"This city learned to rely on people... if this really was your heart, you can learn that, too."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I -- if this city really was my heart, then it's a part I cut out to make it," Akane lashes out, pleads, cries, yells -- pick a word, really. "I can't!" Kaworu is next to reach out, though, speaking through her door but, in Kaworu's way, feeling like he's staring right at her even so. 'Thank you,' he says, and she cries as if he's attacked her.
She gropes for words, in her lonely, foggy room, in her uniform shirt. "What could that pain mean!? How do you just -- go on, day after day, acting like it meant something?! It was always going to end up like this... If I knew we'd have to part, then --"
She can't finish that sentence. She's not so much an adult to say she'd rather they never met -- and neither is she enough of a child to spew out her true feelings to the world.
Her heart continues its slow pull away from everyone, from everything. Gridman and Rikka remain the conduit for countless feelings, and Gridman's dearest friend keeps pace -- but it's as if a door is slammed in the face of Kaworu, Sayla, and Sigma, all over again.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Carried by the power of Fixer Beam and the resonance between Synchrotank and the Banshee, Gridman, in his Repli-Compoid form, finds himself outside Akane's door.
"Akane." He calls, gently. "Can't you see the way this city has grown? This world you've created. It might've started out as your heart, but now, it belongs to everyone. All our hearts intertwined. Even my strength is because of everyone around me."
Softly, his hand presses against the door. Others have knocked. Gridman, who came to this world to change things, takes a little bit of a bolder approach. Ever so gently, he pushes on the door, trying to open it from his side. He won't force it, but if Akane makes an effort to open the door... Gridman's strength is ready to help her.
"Maybe you cut us out of your heart at the start. But don't you think that piece has come back to you by now? Everyone's love and belief... I know you remember. Even if it's going to be painful going forward, isn't it worth it to be able to be with everyone?"
Gridman's smile turns sad.
"Even if it won't last forever. These moments are precious. These beginnings are worth their endings." Softly, his forehead meets the wood of Akane's door. Yellow eyes close. "That's what I believe. Maybe it's all the more important because it hurts. That's how we know we're human, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Akane insists that she's terrible. That she's unfair, and she's cruel, and she hurt them.
"It's okay, Akane. You're not alone." Rikka replies. Utsumi explains it - nobody's perfect. That's why they rely on others. And Rikka listens, as Akane responds to what the others have to say. Sayla, Sigma, and Kaworu...
"You didn't-" Rikka starts, and shakes her head. "That wasn't your fault. That was Alexis. You're not... responsible, for what people do to hurt you."
She's quiet for a moment.
"Because I met you... my life's become one I'm proud of living. So even if I've met with hardship because of it... I'd never say you ruined it." She says.
This city, her heart - she cut it out... She listens as Gridman responds. ...He really has grown strong. But it's as he says, too - his strength is because of everyone.
"Things, people heal. They just... need the right care and attention." She says.
Someday, they'll have to part...
"He's right. Every day, every moment... happy, sad, or angry, experiencing them together is what makes it worth it. Even if we have to part some day... those moments will never fade." She says. It's all the more important because it hurts. That's how they know they're human. She nods in agreement. "...Because it means it meant something."
<Pose Tracker> Gai Kurenai has posed.
On the rooftop where Kaworu and Takeshi are standing: A third visitor to this Earth has joined them.
Gai Kurenai looks up at the rising Alexis Kerib, silhouetted against the dying red sky in a bleak triumph. "So, that's what he's done," he says, fully understanding now at the cusp of Tsutsujidai's total collapse. "He's been alone for so long that he's lost sight of the beauty of the world, and feeds on those just as lost as he is to distract from his own emptiness."
"... what a terrible way to spend an eternal existence," the Ultraman from O-50 says, deep sorrow and pity for the Hyper Devil evident in his bearing.
He looks down at Gridman's prone form... and smiles, seeing the scarlet Hyper Agent beginning to pull himself back to his feet with a new brilliance surrounding him. "Sorry I'm late, Gridman... But the sun hasn't set just yet, has it?"
The cascade of pink light from Gridman's chest washes over them all, and Gai's smile broadens as Gridman Sigma becomes light to join the wave. "This is who you really are," he acknowledges - a being who can achieve something the Crusader's Peak never gave him. Drawing the Orb Ring from his coat, he raises it into the light, and a ray of white from the device joins the display, intermingling with the Fixer Beam as it binds Gridman and Alexis and adding the Crusader of Light's voice to the chorus of souls trying to reach the single soul trapped within the shadowy giant - the girl this whole city was built around.
===
===
===
How to sum up twenty-thousand years of experience and apply it here?
He can't. (It's there, nevertheless - a weight of millennia guiding his actions.)
However: there is a more recent lesson he's learned...
There's a card next to Akane. It wasn't there before. The way it catches the light... It doesn't fit in with the landscape of her room - it doesn't go with 'the garbage' at all. Its surface is a pristine white - an infinity of colours of light all blended together - an empty canvas, waiting for the touch of an artist.
"Akane Shinjo," Gai's voice comes through - softly, comfortingly. "You've been tremendously brave. I'd like to pass this gift on to you. It was given to me at my lowest moment... and so now it needs to come to you."
The card lies there. It's just an ordinary, unmarked, valueless playing card... and yet there's something more about it. Something to catch the interest of the curious. (In the corner of the eye, it almost seems to shine.)
"This card is who you truly are. Come back to those who accept you for that, no matter what, instead of letting yourself be devoured by someone who's forgotten who they are."
There's the impression of a smile in his voice. "I know what you're thinking: 'I can't see anything on it'. I thought the same thing, when I was given this card. The secret is, you get to decide for yourself who the 'Akane Shinjo' it depicts is."
"I look forward to seeing who you choose to be."
===
===
===
Gai opens his eyes and lowers the Orb Ring for a moment, concentrating still on the Fixer Beam light. His right hand drops to his card holster, opening it and resting his fingers on the powerful artifacts within.
He has nothing more to say, just yet... but he believes in the hearts arrayed here.
After all... love is a miracle.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
PREVIOUSLY, Alouette had been exerting all of her strength and energy to keep the Double Headed Drivers up... to let Gridman focus on the fight. To let the Rescue Team save the countless hearts caught in the chaos.
As Alexis Kerib nulled attack after attack and Gridman was about to lose with so much at stake, he unveiled powers he didn't even know how to use... the power to mend hearts.
NOW, Alouette lowers the Drivers, lets herself breathe as the city is bathed in that gentle pink light. Until suddenly, she isn't even in Guardienne Aviaire's cockpit anymore, as she lets herself be guided by her bond with Rikka.
It's a familiar sensation, all things considered. It's almost like the phenomenon that allowed her to speak to Leina in the Banshee, isn't it? Or perhaps it's like that connecting space where Akane tore apart a fundamental aspect of Alouette's own heart. One thing is clear enough: thanks to Gridman and Rikka, this is her moment to reach out to Akane, even through Alexis Kerib's infinite darkness. She has to take it.
"Akane, can you hear me?" She asks.. "I can't help you all on my own." She admits, first of all. "But I'm just as sure I'm not the only one who can reach you this way."
"And at the same time, even I can't give you all the right answers, or tell you why you should open that door. All I can tell you is how I feel. But that's okay, right?" A slight smile forms, almost glowing in the light of the Omnisphere. "I know you'll be able to find your way out, because... I was lucky enough to see with my own eyes just how resourceful, thoughtful, kind... and brave you can really be."
Her own memories flash to moments pleasant and painful from this past year - the joy of welcoming Akane into the Gutsy Global Guard, the uncertainty in planning to escape the Garuda together, the tenderness of watching her take care of Rikka in her recovery...
"All this time, I've been so proud to call you my friend... and I never once regretted taking that chance on you, no matter how bleak things looked." Alouette insists, even watching Akane at her very lowest in this space.
"I want to keep being your friend, and that's my own selfish wish. I want to go shopping, watch your favourite movies, play a duet... even gush about our girlfriends together!" She almost pleads: getting to do such normal things is one matter... but it means giving Akane the same opportunity is even more important.
"And it's not just me either. There's a whole world waiting for you, and as terrifying as that is, even if it takes some time..."
"I don't think I need to spell it out for you. Show us everything you've learned in these past seven months!"
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
This has happened before. Once again, the pull of Psychoframe resonance leads Liam through the psychic aether, following a thread of connection. At the end...
A closed door.
It's simple enough to process. It gives Liam a familiar object to orient on in this liminal space. But despite its innocuous appearance, it feels like it might as well be a prison door, barred and locked. Akane's in there. Liam's hands twitch and curl. He wants to rip it open, but at the same time, he knows he can't.
This is... what she was doing, wasn't she? What else was Tsutsujidai but an extension of that room, a prison she was too scared to leave? He's... familiar with the feelings. When Bujack dug its claws into him, Akane showed him her fear, her frustrations, her despair.
Liam closes his eyes, and puts the door elsewhere in his mind--his thoughts and heart focus on the young woman behind it.
"Akane." His voice is soft and gentle, but it carries through. "I know we had a rough start. I didn't know where we stood. But despite that, you reached out to me, and showed me what you were going through. You took the only tool Alexis let you have, and you used it to scream for help. All that pain and fear... that was what you live with."
"It's a part of you, yeah, but you're so much more than than that. You care so much about the world, and about other people. You're brave, and strong, and capable. I don't know what I would've done, were I in your shoes. But I know... you must be beating yourself up inside because it doesn't feel that way right now, does it?" Liam pauses, giving Akane a moment.
"It's... so easy, sometimes, to see everything you've done wrong, and miss everything you've done right. Everyone does it. But you don't have to bear that pain alone. Everyone is here because we care about you, Akane. And I... I want you to be safe, and well, and happy, and to have all the good things. You've already found people who love you for who you are, and believe me--that's one of the most precious gifts you can get."
Liam reaches up and touches the scar behind his right ear, faint and fresh and fading. "And the pain is... it sucks, yeah. But sometimes you have to do something that's painful and scary because it'll help you heal. You helped me see that, Akane."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Gridman speaks to her heart, and Akane -- can't bring herself to face him. She'd hoped to be his strongest friend, and here she is, moping and screaming into the void. That's not friendship -- why should he be forced to clean up her crappy feelings even once, let alone time and time again?
The door stubbornly resists Gridman, and Akane whimpers, "We're human?! We're not -- I'm still just a kaiju...!" Someone who ruins people's lives just by existing, she repeats in her head, trying desperately to reject it.
Any hand can turn into a fist. Why would she think the ones extended to her now won't --
She opens her mouth to shout back at Gridman more -- but Rikka tells her she's not alone, and that she isn't responsible for the actions people take to hurt her.
"What do you mean I'm --" she starts, and then she remembers. The Garuda. ... Akane isn't the only one she'd hurt if she said that yes, she is. That was what they tried to impress upon Rikka time and again -- that she was the one responsible for any disruptions. To reject that would be to rip out stitches that remain, in the cosmic sense, fresh -- and yet again: she can never bring herself to hurt Rikka.
The person created by her kaiju to be an unchallenging friend -- the person who became a continuous challenge to be better. The person she loves. "It -- if it meant something, what did it even mean, then?!" she starts --
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
And Utsumi cuts in again. "You saw a world with nothing in it, and said, 'There could be something here.' It's like in Tarabaman Eclatant. That was your favorite, right?" They'd gone shopping for toys, in that dream. That dream wasn't even real -- but it did a lot to teach him who Akane Shinjo was.
"That means a lot. Even if you borrowed that kind of power from Alexis... it's yours now, right?" The power of creation -- a power that Akane was given by Alexis, and which made its way, bit by bit, to Gridman. A power which enabled him, in turn, to save her.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
She can't bring herself to further lash out at Rikka; even what she's already said is enough to make her heart hurt. Her head sinks down -- and she sees that card. And, a moment later, hears that voice. Gai...
"You're right. There's nothing on it," Akane says. "I -- I already knew that! You and Juggler-sensei -- you're both like this!" Akane shouts at him. "I already know I'm nothing!"
... But Utsumi just pointed out that Akane had the power to turn nothing into something. She reaches down, taking the card...
... and Alouette speaks. All she wants -- is those normal things, those small things. The very things Akane had made Tsutsujidai because she wanted them.
"You're years ahead of me!" Akane shouts, before she even realizes she's shouting. "You've had so long to recover, and so much earlier, and with -- with --" So many more people in her life? But almost all of those people are in Akane's life, too. And the ones that haven't had the chance yet...
... Akane promised Alouette she'd get them back.
If she's thinking of breaking that promise, she really is cruel. "... I -- hope you get to see Mikoto again," she says, quietly. She can't deny Alouette those things she wants -- but it's easy for her to say that she, herself, will not be there to share in them.
'People who can love you for who you are,' 'the most precious gift' -- Akane winces. It's true. He's right. But hearing it from him -- from Liam, who's been hurt and hurt and who she hurt -- is --
"Shut up!" she cries again, finding new resolve to dig her heels in in her room. "You should know this stuff by now -- all that's left for me is, is people who just see me as some new research opportunity, or... or -- maybe I'll die like that pilot in France!" The hand not holding the card, though, grips the doorknob. Even as Knight's blood drips from Akane's face, she stammers, "It's going to end up the same way no matter what! It's -- if it's going to end up like this anyway, why not just rip off the band-aid?! At least this way it'll mean Alexis is out of your lives, too -- if, if everything ends up in this emptiness, at least this way it'll... at least this way it'll be an emptiness that fixes things for the rest of you guys --"
What is she even saying? It sounds absurd to her ears, yet it's the only thing that she can hold on to in this oppressive fog. She clings desperately to a story that doesn't make sense, because Gai has presented her with the horrifying, daunting, impossible alternative:
choosing a new story for herself again.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"You're as human as I am." Gridman promises, in that half-electronic voice of his. "Exactly as much as you want to be."
Akane's feelings are so tumultuous, painful to witness, even with the door between them. Deep down, Gridman knows Rikka is the one who will pull Akane out of this place, just as she did once before -- but he doesn't want to be a bystander this time. He, too has words that must be expressed.
"I wound up in this form," Gridman murmurs, one hand coming up to his chest. "because of all your creations, Yuta Hibiki is the only one to inherit your heart. In sharing it, it's changed me. It's let me understand you, even if just a little more. Who you really are, Akane."
Gridman straightens up, his hand pressing against the door a little harder.
"You're my friend! You're the human being who brought me to this world!" Gridman's voice is strong, echoing with metallic strength. "And I wouldn't trade a moment of our time together! You've given me a life that I never could've dreamed of!"
A pause. He looks to Rikka, and Utsumi.
"Akane Shinjo. I'm here to get you out!"
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
"That's up to you to decide." Rikka agrees with Gridman. "Whether kaiju, or human, or something else... That's up to you. And we'll accept you, whatever you choose."
Akane starts to lash out at her, but then stops herself. Rikka can guess what she was going to say - and why stopped, too. Even here, even now, in this space with her heart so wounded and heavy, she's still thinking of her - she still can't bring herself to hurt her.
Akane asks what it even meant - and Utsumi cuts in. Rikka nods.
"It means everything." She says.
Akane continues, and eventually...
"...What would that fix?" Rikka asks. "Alexis would be out of our lives... but you would be too. And he'd go off to do the same thing to someone else, and we'd feel that emptiness for the rest of our lives. That doesn't fix anything, that's just... looking away."
She shakes her head.
"There's... so much more left for you than that. Looking for a place to live together, putting up with an apartment that's just a little too small but keeps us close, living and laughing with everyone, experiencing more and more of the world... We'd all do everything we could to ensure you get that chance... isn't that future worth looking forward to?" Rikka asks.
Gridman speaks - expains why he chose Yuta, how it let him understand her. ...How he's her friend.
Gridman's golden eyes meet Rikka's. Rikka's pink and blue meets his, and then she follows his gaze over to Utsumi.
"We all are." She agrees.
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
"Akane... I'm not sure if you remember me, but I remember you."
Lucine closes her eyes, trying to project. Sometimes she can make it work when there's something to 'hold' onto on the other end, like she was a character in a children's book, throwing a lasso onto a star. There's definitely something to 'hold' onto here. So much so that to becomes less a 'hold', and more a pull, to where she now stands at the door to the roo,m where Akane now sits. A door surrounded by so many others.
".... I was never able to apologize for that time I punched you. That day... all I felt was despair, rage... desperation. I hadn't confessed to Liam my own feelings. I... think it was because was afraid to leash him to me, when he was still trying to figure out what he wanted. ... It's one thing to be with someone because you wanted to be loved... and another to be with someone because you love them."
It's not the side of Lucine Akane saw that day when they met, face to face. Then, she was unable to cope with the reality that Akane wasn't some mastermind Lucine could easily hate, but someone trapped in a cage of godhood, forced into a corner few people would withstand the pressures of.
Lucine could point out that Rikka may fall into a similar place, if Akane is gone. However, Rikka is here having her own say; Lucine can feel her, trying to reach out to Akane. "... Rikka's right-- Alexis has already tried with Ruri..."
It brings another point to mind... of Akane's own feelings.
".... But now... I imagine you know that feeling in a new light, of seeing someone you love in danger, and doing whatever you can to get them out. It leads people to do things they normally wouldn't. Playing a game of loyalities in order to save the person you love while cutting down the people that hurt her from the inside... and.... I suppose me punching a god could count as that, too..."
Which leads Lucine right back to where she started.
".... I want treat you to a cafe of your choice, as an apology... for, ah, punching you that day. It can be in Tsutsujidai, or somewhere else... I realize you're a busy person, and... I can be terrible about setting appointments... but, ah, I still want to."
'Busy'. 'Apppointments'. Words that belong in another world, a more casual time and place. They're important here, too, to force Akane to realize she has a place in it.
".... And.... If you need me to snap you out of this with force, even if I don't think it will work.... ah... I will punch you again, but only if it means getting the chance to apologize twice over!" Her lips pull taunt. "A-and not just to you, but to all your friends, and all of Tsutsujidai!" She pauses, looking towards Gridman. ".... I think Gridman's idea is better, though... Your friends weren't happy when they found out I had done that..."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
The Nadesico is not here. It has its own battles to see to; its own scars. Their universe, wrapped tight in the sunset of a century, hurtles towards the final, final-final truths of these seeded dynasties.
But the Computer World which Akane inhabit(ed)... there's one person who's sympathetic, to the data.
And the man, scarring it to nothing.
'The next Akane Shinjo' who Alexis Kerib is searching for...
... was very almost Ruri Hoshino. Just as Lucine introduces her, Akane isn't alone.
Her eyes, too gold and too bright, gleam as she looks up from her console, as she looks to the main screen without seeing. A brief, sparkling moment --
"RXhjdXNlIG1l" Ruri says, without speaking. It's a phrase which could also be said as 69 120 99 117 115 101 32 109 101 -- or as 45 78 63 75 73 65 20 6D 65 -- or as 01000101 01111000 01100011 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 -- or as Excuse me. All of these are true.
She speaks a thousand languages, and two, for human ears. (Or, in this case, for human hearts, as her feelings filter through the vastness of space to find Tsutsujidai.) She struggles to speak words which Akane can understand, but it's the effort itself which might communicate the meaning, all echoing in the background of the base code.
"WW91J3JlIGZhY2luZyBhIGRpZmZpY3VsdCBjaG9pY2UsIHJpZ2h0Pw==" Ruri goes on, voice without form, without a hand to challenge that door. You're facing a difficult choice, right?
"SSBkaWRuJ3QgdGFsayB0byB5b3UgYWJvdXQgaXQgYmVjYXVzZS4uLg==" and Minato can, at least, see her shake her head, see her lips move wordlessly. "Li4uIEkgZ3Vlc3MgSSB3YXMgc2NhcmVkLg==" This, and so many things; they don't talk about sad things, on the Nadesico. They move to the next episode with cheer. Ruri holds France in her heart -- alongside the birthday wishes Dorothy sent her. Some things are kept inside, just like Akane's keeping herself inside, now.
(I didn't talk to you about it because... I guess I was scared.)
But Akane needs to come outside herself. But Akane can't quite manage it, on her own. But Ruri struggles to reach human hearts, the way she reaches machines; she shut them out, too. "... but..." QnV0Li4u, the words her heart speaks make more of an effort to shift to Akane's tongues, as the words written into circuit boards fade into the background of the tenor.
"When Mr. Kerib tried to take me, everyone saved me. Minato-san even threw her shoe at him. I don't think it would have done anything, but she didn't care about that. Even though I wasn't thinking about being saved... I thought I was too different. Well, they did it anyway. So I understand if you can't believe in them where you are now, Ms. Shinjo. Um... it's normal, I think. And it doesn't mean anything bad. The bad thing here is what he's doing to you. I guess... when you were my age, and he came to you, you didn't have someone like Minato-san to throw a shoe at him back then. Right?"
Ruri sinks back into her seat, and sighs. "It's okay," her heart says, cracking open, leaking out. "It's going to be okay. Since you have people who care about you, too." She won't tell her to stay; she doesn't know her well enough, frankly. But she can tell that Gridman and Utsumi and Rikka are fighting for her, even where she's sitting... and not just them, either.
Her final words, though, aren't to the girl trapped in the man --
They echo around the vast form of Alexis Kerib, instead.
"If only someone cared about you, Mr. Kerib. Unfortunately, you're a desperate, childish, petty husk of a man. You take the good faith of girls who let you in and grind them to nothing... this time, you won't get away with it."
And that makes him a,
Rm9vbC4=
46 6F 6F 6C 2E
70 111 111 108 46
01000110 01101111 01101111 01101100 00101110
"Fool."
(It's not quite lobbing her shoe at his head, but Ruri's got a good few years before she's on Minato's level.)
<Pose Tracker> Lamia has posed.
The nightmare is over.
A lone Somnium stands on the streets of Tsutsujidai as the blinding pink light of Gridman's Fixer Beam spreads throughout the town. Gridman did it. No, everyone did it, or rather everyone did it through Gridman. The collective wishes of multiple people funneled and amplified through one being like a prism.
He simply closes his eyes and exhales at this thought. Surely, if Bodaiju was still around, his rival would chastise him for having such poetic thinking.
But that's a man that exists in the past, and this is the now. The now that inches ever closer to no longer needing someone like him. The now where humanity can pick itself back up after hardship and fight back. Sure, this world may be a dream, but dreams eventually do become reality.
Really, there's a lot of happiness to be had at the moment, as a Somnium, and simply as the Betterman known as Lamia. There should be, anyway. For the Betterman, however, there's an underlying, unspoken sadness that permeates it all.
.
..
...
Lamia stands behind Akane. Not physically of course, but psychically through the Limpid Channel, so while he's not there, it almost feels as if he was. Perhaps if he was there, things would be different, but as it currently stands...
There's an overwhelming and awkward silence as the Somnium just mentally stares. What was he hoping to accomplish here? He wants to say something before leaving, a positive message for the Akane to latch onto, and to pour his heart and feelings out. But he can't. He couldn't do it ten years ago either to that poor young girl.
As much as he cares, he's too weak to express it straightforwardly. An accomplished warrior and leader he may be, but when it comes to things like this... Well...
He closes his eyes once more as his head tilts up, the Betterman sighing deeply as a slight smile spreads across his lips for the briefest of seconds.
"Before the Age of Patria, I hope to meet again... So live. Persevere. Thrive."
It's pathetic, really, but it's all he can muster, and it'll have to do. If she thinks less of him for it, it's probably deserved. But having finally said something, Lamia finally takes his leave, disappearing from the back of Akane's mind.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The only one who inherited her heart? ... He did live like she did. That lonely fourth-floor apartment. She'd been there, once.
She couldn't even get that right! The world she made -- it was supposed to be a place without that kind of cruelty!
She just put it on Yuta. And then Gridman had to inherit all those cruelties, too --
And yet, he says she gave him a life he never could've dreamed of. "And that's fine for you," she answers him, quivering, "But -- not everyone can just dash through the barriers the wind brings!" She sobs, and it's her turn to pound on the door -- in hopes it'll scare people away.
Rikka... Akane knows she's right, and what's more, she can't bring herself to shout back at her that she isn't, this time. If she finds the idea of lonely apartments so intolerable -- what can she say to one that offers connection but 'yes'? But... how is she supposed to say 'yes' to that? She knows it's worth looking forward to. But how can she say yes, when the Akane who found it so difficult to fight with Rikka... she's lost, isn't she? Stained with blood...
... she broke her promise, too.
"It's not worth suffering! It's not worth waking up every day wondering what new, horrible thing is going to happen! What's going to be taken from you next --" When Lucine mentions that Alexis tried already with Ruri, that gives her yet more to latch onto. "Or who Alexis is going to hurt! It's -- better if it's just --" No, that's logic she already rejected, how can she cling to that --
What she settles on at first is, "I deserved the punch," but in saying it she finds herself laughing, as if it's such an absurd moment that she can't stop the laughter from coming. Lucine reminds her of that which is true. ... Actually true, a truth that... some part of her remembers fighting very hard for. "Why would you need to apologize --"
And then Lucine says she'll punch her again, so she can apologize again. Akane's so dumbstruck that, for a moment, she almost normalizes just from the sheer startle.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"We all are," Utsumi agrees with Rikka. "And a friend's the strongest weapon anyone's got. Sometimes it's the only weapon anyone's got... and maybe it's the only weapon anyone needs!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
She tries to find an answer for Rikka -- some way to push her away for her sake one last time, like she'd apparently been right to do all along. Before she can, though, Ruri interrupts her again, with an all-languages, all-channels 'Excuse me.' How could she fail to understand it? Her heart was rebuilt in the Computer World; she may not be able to speak that language save through her kaiju -- but surely she can now understand it.
'I guess I was scared.'
Even a girl who had almost been 'the next Akane Shinjo' of whom Alexis Kerib has spoken wishes for her to come back. Her mouth opens, as if she's trying to find something to say back -- but there's something about Ruri saying that it'll be okay, that she has people who care about her enough to throw a shoe at Alexis, that...
... it's hard to deny. When Alouette had raised that spectre, it was easy for Akane to imagine she didn't have that time remaining on her clock. For Ruri -- who Alexis turned into a kaiju after he did it to her -- to say such a thing...
... it raises an ugly sort of envy in her heart, but at the same time, doesn't it suggest she's actually lagging behind? If Ruri can put it together on a ship of idiots...
Akane takes a long, ragged breath in -- then breathes out, eyes shutting. What's she supposed to do with this feeling? "It's normal, but it can't..." She can't put the words together. She wants to answer Ruri, who's poured her heart out at such difficulty, and she's ashamed that she can't.
That presence behind her -- really around her, almost, in the same way Alexis now is and yet a totally different way entirely, moving through the Limpid Channel to connect with her. ... She would never be able to express herself directly in this way, either; maybe she's not that different from a Somnium either.
"... Hinoki-san," she offers him weakly, "probably wants to rely on you again, before then, too." Is she trying to deflect him to someone who can accept the kindnesses he offers? Or can she just not bear the thought of leaving human kindness from someone inhuman unanswered?
What soul needs saving?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Even if this is a space created by the Gridman Alliance and their feelings -- it's a space Alexis shares, too. And the first time he's addressed in it:
It's to be called a fool.
A crack starts to form across Alexis's body, as Gridman's energy continues to pour across it.
Being a called 'fool' at the end of all things, perhaps, is a more honest form of nostalgia than the one he'd spent so much time chasing, so much time carving out of a heart.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"You're right, Akane. When it's my turn to go, Yuta's going to need someone like you." Gridman's voice is very, very soft -- meant only for Akane, Rikka, and Utsumi to hear. "Someone who knows what it's like to have their life stolen away. Someone who knows how to climb a barrier, rather than dash through it. All this time, I've been doing my best for him."
Akane pounds on the door. Gridman's hand doesn't move.
"I know I can count on the same from you. After all, who could understand him better?"
---
All these words, this connection, these bonds, reach Akane in the space of moments. In reality, Gridman is still projecting Fixer Beam, bathing Tsutsujidai -- and Alexis -- in its renewing glow.
Unlike his other abilities, using Fixer Beam for this long isn't painful or draining at all. It feels healing. All the complicated emotions Gai warned Gridman of seem to find places to settle within the Giant of Light's heart. Acceptance, warm and comforting, wraps around his shoulders.
If everyone can come together like this for Akane, and save her from her very worst nightmare? They're all going to be just fine. Doubt and fear ebb away, Gridman's heart washed clean from the expression of Bonds around him.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Akane pounds on the door - but it doesn't score Rikka away. She stood with her, helped her get through her lowest moments - and Rikka has every intention of doing the same for her. Not just because she owes her - but because she wants to, because she loves her, and she's worth that.
She looks toward Gridman quietly. 'When it's his turn to go'... Something clicks in her head - but it's not the time, and it's not her place to say it. ...Not yet.
"It is worth it - because the suffering is only one part of it. Because we can bear it together, because we can share our fear of what might happen next, and comfort each other, and face it together - and things might be taken, but there's things to gain, too." Rikka replies. "The future is worth reaching out for, is worth living for, and moving toward together... and it's better with you in it, too."
Utsumi says his piece, and Rikka nods. A friend's the strongest weapon anyone's got...
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Finally, Nidaime's voice raises up, to join the others. "Akane, Naito's alive!" She calls, with her words and with her heart, beating large as a mountain inside her office-lady's chest. "He's still alive, Akane! We've got him -- he'll be okay."
Which means, Akane didn't...
"Hey," Nidaime says, and her smile is tangible, even through this medium: "Be here when he wakes up, wouldja?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
It's a big ask of Rikka, of Sayla, of everyone to involve the Banshee in this. She knows what she did with the Banshee to Rikka, she knows. Her head screams her guilt at her any time she thinks of it. However, if they lost Akane because she held back, she'd never forgive herself, she knows it.
The hum of the NT-D pulses outwards from the Banshee Norn, it's psychowaves continually throbbing like a heartbeat as it tries to push itself to maintain the connection. Past the emotional stew of Alexis Kerib, and down to a room where a girl lays alone in the garbage. It is attuned quite well to picking up these negative emotions, even from one individual so closed off - and another steadily closing off. She can feel it, every time they call to her, and every time she rejects it, pushes them away, closes them off.
Eventually it comes down to a decision, it's not an easy decision, even if it's simplicity itself in its implementation. A plea, as two hands reach out to grasp her soul self, and pull her down the connection Rikka established. She forces herself to sink deeper and deeper into the negative quagmire, winnowing out the links of positive emotions she's forged to others to such narrow threads to get closer and closer - until...
...contact.
It's past eleven in the morning, so I'm here.
There's something gentle about the feeling of her being there, despite the intrusion. She can't hide it right now, with her soul bared, that some part of her wants to give in with Akane and lay right there with her. Yet despite herself, despite it all, she forces herself not to.
That was the agreement right? If you're not out at eleven and I'm around to come remind you. I know right now I should be focusing on myself, but I guess I can't help it. I always was that sort of busybody.
Her soul self hovers at the metaphorical door, she can't allow herself to go further, and indeed what Alexis has done may not allow it. She knows she might not come back from it if she's tried, she's already sank so far into this quagmire of negative emotions. Already her resolve is faltering, but still, she stubbornly forces herself to keep going.
You know the kind, they come in still wearing an apron and brandishing a spatula, throw open the curtains. That's what it was like for me living with other people. With Judau, and Sayla both. But...
Her soul self, she puts her back to the door instead, in a parody of real life, she slowly lowers herself down against it, this falsity of weight, this metaphorical idea of her head back against it.
... I'm not doing that this time, in part because I can't. So instead I'm asking you to do the same thing you asked me, to trust everyone. And I'm going to be a little selfish, too, because I'm going to do the one thing you refused to do to other people.
For a while, she just lets that hang, as if second guessing herself, that's the easiest thing to do - before she just lets it out to her.
I'm putting my recovery on you.
That's perhaps a shocking enough statement on its face, that even Leina is surprised to find herself capable of feeling such, expressing such, and meaning it, it takes her a moment to keep going.
You saved me, probably from being taken away to some secret lab forever, or from doing something really stupid and getting myself killed - or getting someone else killed. So I know all of your feelings are telling you otherwise, that I'm wrong, downplaying everything you did, that I'd be better off without you but I can tell you without a doubt, that my world is better with you in it.
Her head shifts, and she looks towards the frame of the door, even knowing it's not a door, treating it as if it were real is important perhaps.
So I'm asking you, for my sake, to please get up and come out of there - because those feelings are still there for me. Everything you said to them about it not being worth it? I feel that. ... I don't want to keep living in a world that keeps taking people like you out of it. I have to talk myself into it every single day.
All of Akane's feelings about wondering what new horrible thing will happen, what's going to be taken from you next... or who...
She thinks of Banagher right now, laying in that bed, after everything that was done to him. The idea that he just might not wake up, defending them all from Martha's atrocity, from the Federation pushing him too far, them all too far. She thinks of Mineva who is going to be under threat for the rest of her life by the misfortune of her birth - especially now that she's painted a giant target on herself. And Knight, alive, but still grievously wounded - just after he found his footing in his second chance within this world.
How easy would it be, to lose another person she cares about? Perhaps she already has, and all that's left is the moment of confirmation. Those fears lend to a sense of almost anticipatory grief here. It's hard enough with the looming implication that soon, Gridman will be gone too, lending more and more weight to the idea that others will be gone...
Don't give me one more reason not to.
In the end, it's selfish, and manipulative - but it's also not some gambit, some ploy. She can't hide who she is or how she feels in this moment. She gives her what she can, and what she can give her is that kind of selfishness, because her feelings can't offer anything else, not this close to her, and not this close to him.
<Pose Tracker> Qivi has posed.
Though Qivi had run as fast as she could toward Sarangay, she'd been delayed - delayed by the damage to the strange electronic shapes parts of Tsutsujidai, parts of everything, had become. She'd pulled herself in her wanzer, pulled the piloting suit on, with all its straps and buckles; she'd been so impatient that she'd booted the wanzer while she was still doing that, driving it solely with her feet for a few moments.
So Sarangay is already moving, accelerating to try to reach Gridman and Alexis Kerib like she'd promised Gridman and Alouette and the others. We'll all go out together and we'll all come back together, that's what she'd said; but now she's falling behind, and even the booster pack she mounted to Sarangay can't let her keep the pace. Not in the ruin that Tsutsujidai has become -
Well. Not in the ruin that Tsutsujidai was become. Before a miracle occured.
Pink washes away from Gridman, righting Tsutsujidai - but it's more than that. It's connections; it's bonds, as Qivi is not used to experiencing them but has once or twice in her life. She finds herself with others; with them, hearing them, but with a moment to speak for herself.
It is a miracle.
What do you say at a time like this? It takes Qivi several moments before she's able to address the door. "Akane," she says. "I know you don't wanna hear from me. To you I'm just some woman you spoke to a few times. But too bad; I'm here and I've got some things I need to say."
"I know you're in there and I know you're hiding. It sucks and it hurts. And I don't really know how it sucks and hurts, because I'm not you, so I'm not going to lie and say I know what you're going through, exactly. But I've been..."
Qivi trails off, then picks it up a few moments later. "I ran away once, too, because I couldn't stand the way things were. And you know what? Running works, for a while. But then you end up hurting yourself as much as anyone else if that's all you do. You pull away because it's not comfortable to get real close, and then... you're alone. And you hurt other people. Yeah, you hurt me, way back when. I'm not gonna run away from that fact either."
"But that's wrong. You deserve better. They deserve better. If you don't listen to me, listen to Rikka, listen to Gridman, listen to Sho, listen to Alouette and everyone else! Someone told me once, joys shared are multiplied but pain shared is halved, so stick with them! It's not like they don't want you to."
"And maybe you are a coward, I don't know. I don't think you are, because a coward wouldn't have tried to make things right, not even once." Qivi raises her voice. She may not even be aware she's doing it. "A coward wouldn't have dared to reach out, before! Not to me, not to anybody. You apologized. You're working, every day, to make things better - and that says a hell of a lot more than anything else! Horrible things happen, yeah. And they're awful to deal with! But you just keep trying anyway, with everyone else. That's the difference. That's what's better than running away from something - trying to change it so it's better. Ending up alone forever - that's garbage! You don't deserve that. Nobody deserves that!"
"I mean, even if you're afraid sometimes, so what? Nobody's perfect. I'm an idiot half the time, so I gotta slow down, think about things before I rush - and yeah, sometimes I forget, and I charge ahead anyway. Hell, I'm kinda charging in here, dropping this all on you... I think that's the opposite of your problem. Sometimes you gotta think less, because you get into your own head. Talk yourself out of things, or think your way out of them."
Qivi lets out a puff of air that disturbs some of her hair. "I'm not great with my words, but... some things you don't need the right words for if you've got the right feeling. So... I guess, don't think about it for a moment. Feel everybody else. Feel what you mean to them. And feel what you gotta do... and do it. You - everyone - deserve more than 'emptiness', but the world's what you make of it! So reach out for something and make it yours - and anyone's who you want to share it with! Don't let some asshole tell you how the world has to be."
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
Guy has spent the entire duration of the battle struggling with all his Evolual power to keep Tsutsujidai stable; to enforce upon it some kind of order. He's tried his best. But in the end the Galeoria Pliers were only ever a stopgap to solving the true problem. "Tamara, take over!" he barks, stands up, and runs for the door, as she wails "wait what huh where whoa!?!?" behind him. It's near. He can FEEL the approach of his partner, Galeon's presence. He makes for the first airlock he can find, fixing the GaoBrace to his arm.
They're coming. They're near. "Alouette," he says to the air, his Evoluder body transmitting his words to her without need for a radio. "It's almost time. Going to need Program Drive. Get to safe distance!"
And then...he sees the light washing out from Fixer Beam. And he feels that presence.
For Guy, communicating like this, projecting his Presence out of a place that contains only some of him is beginning to make sense. What he thinks of most is his own lowest point...adrift and in agony as the Chemical Bolts' poison continued to pour through him, and Mamoru and Mikoto reached out to him.
The door's closed. He can't do the same. Still, he speaks. "Akane." ... ... He pulls his bare Evoluder hand out in front of him, considering the flesh already shining with the light of his cellular G-Stones. "...I guess he got you good, this time," he says. "Something happened, right? And it hurts, right? And you're not sure whether you even have the strength to put another foot in front of you, right?" How'd they get here? No, it doesn't matter. He feels it. That gloom...he's been there, before.
"I do know what that's like. Is it hard to believe? I know that feeling, lying on your back with nothing left in you but the wish you could just fall away." ... "But there is a reason to stand up again. There are reasons. Amazing people who are flying to your side who want nothing in this world but to take that step with you."
A small smile blooms on his face. "Alexis told us there are millions of Akane Shinjos in this world. Billions, trillions, across every world everywhere. People suffering, yes. Suffering that should be stopped, yes. But isn't that incredible? You've shown me the awesome power in just one Akane Shinjo! The incredible person just one girl in sorrow can become with help!"
"Akane, I don't think you ever realized this. You already are a Brave. Everyone is. I don't believe it, I know it. We learned it through and through fighting the Zonders. Everyone in this world has what it takes to become a hero. A Brave."
With some effort, he turns his gaze slightly up, his Evoluder eyes piercing through the veil of Connection to the demon in the physical skies. "He can't take it from you. He can't make you unworthy of it. You don't have to earn the right! Only you can decide to deny it, and so only you can decide to take it up."
They're nearly here, he thinks. His fist clenches, power pulsing into the GaoBrace.
"I'll be waiting for you. And don't think for a minute I'll stop. Even if he does get away, GGG only got into this mess by learning how to travel time and dimensions. I'll follow you AND him across every light in the sky if I have to!" And he breaks into a big, sunny smile, not his heroic swagger but a big, excited grin. "And then we'll find two more people to help. And then we'll find four more together with them. That's how we build it up. Working together, picking each other up when one of us stumbles. We'll show every soul in the whole universe the incredible power of courage."
He pushes himself through the haze, exerting himself into the physical. "But first," he says, his voice echoing still in Akane's room. "I'll show you mine once again."
He braces his feet against Wadatsumi's side, and the GaoBrace's summoning light emits a high capacitor whine as it rapidly charges and then punches back to release. A green light explodes from him and into the computerized sky, casting itself against the faint haze of the Computer World's dancing light.
An emblem of a lion's face.
"GALEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!"
Guy takes off at a sprint and leaps up into the sky, screaming, "INITIATING FUUUUUUUUUUUUSIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" as he tucks into a flip, and Galeon roars out of the sky to snap him out of the air.
Through Akane's window, as Superhuman and Mechanoid unite, Evolual G-Stone light defiantly shines through the fog.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
... Gridman underlines that, in the infinite tomorrow, Yuta will need someone who was able to be Gridman's best friend. And on some level, Akane knows that that has to be her and that that's something only she can do; their journeys run in parallel. He's everything she could never measure up to -- and he'll need someone who's felt that low.
... but it'd be so much easier to give up. (She feels the ground shift under her, as her thoughts go from 'it's better' to 'it's easier for her.' Is she that much of a coward, even still?) "I can't!" she insists, giving in to that desire for things to be easy nevertheless.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Utsumi nudges her forward just a little further. "Gridman's right. Both of you guys are going to be facing down a big world. Neither of you should have to do it alone." He pushes up his glasses, looking to Gridman -- and past him, to Yuta sleeping inside of him. Maybe he'd only known Yuta for a few months, and Gridman for nearly two years, now...
... but maybe there's a blessing in the chance to get to know him all over again -- the real him, not the version refracted through Gridman's courage and justice. Whether it's making two friends, or making the same friend twice, it's hard to be sure -- but...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I can't!" Akane screams at him, even as the hand that isn't still wrapped around that faceless card drifts down to the handle of the door. "A big world's too much for me to handle!"
But she doesn't have to handle it. Just as Rikka said -- they can handle it together, and share their fears, and comfort each other, and... she's part of that, too. And she can gain so much more if she can take just one step. ... she's still stained with blood, though -- still guilty, just as guilty as she was when she was turned into a kaiju --
Nidaime joins the chorus, and tells her that Knight -- Naito-kun -- is still...
... can she really abandon him? She'd had to fight so hard to come to know him. If she left him behind... that would be her fault.
Leina comes and knocks. She is, after all, still holed up in her room for no good reason well past eleven in the morning. And she's come to say --
-- what? No, that's too heavy, that's. How is she supposed to answer that? "D-don't you dare! I'm not that strong," she whimpers. How is she supposed to carry Leina when she can't even carry herself? ... but would Leina even be here if Akane wasn't here? Would she have been here if those horrible things hadn't happened to Rikka, to Alouette, to Akane?
Leina... proves that the world is better with Akane Shinjo in it. That the world needs more selfish, petty people who can't live on their own -- as long as they're willing to show up for each other when it counts.
Qivi reminds her of all she's done to change things -- to push past her loneliness, bit by bit, even as painful as that's been. Everyone has shown up for her -- and she's done her best to show up for other people, too. To apologize. To make amends -- and to let people have the freedom to choose how they want to live in a world with Akane Shinjo in it. Not everyone's forgiven her right away -- but that's their choice. And working toward it... that's worth it. "It's -- you think just, saying 'I'm sorry' and trying really hard is enough?" she stammers out, trying to push back against Qivi, too. Against someone who knows what it is to run away. Someone who sees her think herself into impossible corners. "You think I can just -- think less?!" An angry groan escapes her throat -- and it's wet, with snot and tears.
Feel, not think. ... that's what she'd done on that sluice gate, too. What Rikka had asked her to do. Just feel, honestly, without retreating into questions of whether that feeling is 'fair' or 'right' or even 'okay to have.'
It's Guy who speaks next, and the momentum Akane started to feel is replaced with deep shame. It's humiliating that, for a second time, he gets to see her giving up.
It's when he mentions that there are millions, billions, trillions of 'Akane Shinjos' that her heart goes from wavering to plunging again -- and then, like a rollercoaster, right back up. Just one person has the power to become so much. 'A Brave' -- a hero, yuusha -- isn't someone who never makes a mistake, never fails. It's someone who decides to be 'someone with courage,' and that lies in everyone... and apparently, Guy's never going to stop trying, no matter what. That sunshine smile is even brighter at sunset.
"I --" she starts, stammering. One becomes two, becomes four. Every light they reach out to, every light they save...
... if she keeps on moving her legs, maybe she can turn into light, too.
She feels him prepare to take the field, to fight for her -- and it reminds her both of the way he took the field for Alouette and Renais...
... and the promise she made to him and Alouette, in turn. No doubt that promise now extends to Sakura Akamatsu, too.
"An oath sworn through courage..." A single, mirthless breath-laugh escapes her lips as she mumbles, "Between you and Leina, jeez... I guess you guys are serious about the promises thing..." She allows herself another sob -- because it's clear, now:
This kindness, too, is something she is powerless to stop.
Even if she's powerless to stop Alexis from pursuing her to the ends of the Earth, through infinite realities, incapable of stopping him from finding new ways to hurt her... she can't stop people like Guy, like Qivi, like Lamia, like Gridman, like the Gridman Alliance -- like the countless friends she's made -- from fighting against that, either.
... so many people. It's so many people who're reaching out to her now -- so many people who believe in the story of one girl in the Earth Sphere. So many people who saw her and decided they needed to find an answer to the Universal Century's most difficult question:
How do you 'save' a single person?
There are millions of Akane Shinjos, Alexis Kerib had said to 3G, once.
In universes past and present, there are billions of Akane Shinjos.
Every world contains millions of passed-over, suffering, lonely children.
Each of those lonely children is another world unto themselves.
You will never save all of them.
You will never know all of them.
It will never be enough.
You will never be enough.
I've decided I am saving this one, he'd said then -- and now, again, says with his actions.
If she's helpless, all she can do is take that first step to make it easier, make it kinder. She may not be able to start running toward everyone, yet, but...
"... I can't just run away," Akane whimpers, desperately scrambling for something to latch onto. "Even if I'm just one person... the people I love -- the friends I've made... they're counting on me." She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself with mixed results. "You're -- all my friends! I need you -- and you need me!"
How do you live in a world where your heart isn't just your own? It's the question Akane's spent seven months trying to answer for herself.
"I can't let you go --"
Her grip on the door turns white-knuckled, but she can't bring herself to open it half-heartedly -- can't do it with just one hand.
"I can't run to some other world because I think it'll hurt less! I... I can't know how much it'll hurt you if I just leave, and apparently," and here her cadence shifts to the one that many of those here have come to know, in the intervening months, as 'friend', "if I try you're just going to keep chasing me anyway. I still hate watching people do pointless stuff. So I guess -- I have to return, of my own free will --"
She takes the pass holder in her hand (it's always with her, after all, even if she somehow forgets) -- and slides that faceless card into it.
She closes it, and it's no longer faceless.
It's a young girl's smile.
"-- to where I belong...!"
In one moment, she is in her room.
In the next, she is where she belongs.
"Gridman," she starts, leaning in from behind Rikka and seizing the comms. Black-brown hair -- finally no longer fried from dye jobs, finally a comfortable length a bit past her chin -- flutters a little as she does. "I'm here to support my friends. ... I'm sorry I made you wait." With a strained smile, she says, "You saved my life. No one else could have."
She gives Rikka a quick peck on the cheek for good measure, whispering, "I'm sorry for making you wait, too... we really need to stop ending up waiting for each other." There's genuine contrition there -- but there's some sheepishness there, too, as if she's as embarrassed as she is anything else.
Opening comms again, she says, simply:
"Sorry about the mess. So, just for the record: that sucked, I'm mad you all had to see that, and I bet you're all really frustrated that you had to go to that much trouble again."
Some of this bravado is false... but it's a lot easier to pick yourself back up the second time.
"... Just this once, I think it's okay to take it out on someone," she says, as Fixer Beam seals Alexis's intended escape route. "He's immortal, apparently, so he can probably take a couple punches."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Alexis's mask lights up -- and it's clear what he intends is a scowl, before he begins speaking and flickering those panels off and on again. There's nothing left of value in him, now -- and all he can do with that feeling is lash out at others. "I -- it can't be! To think you really mended Akane-kun's heart...!" He's agonized, certainly -- but even as red light glints through cracks in his body, he draws his spear again and moves forward. "Even so -- you're helpless against infinite causality...!"
Alexis, wounded through and through even if he is still immortal, rushes forward. He has no intention of being gracious about losing Akane, it seems -- but the emptiness between the cracks is now so plain.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
The door opens. Gridman fades back into his Giant of Light form with a proud smile on his face.
"Welcome home, Akane."
---
"We didn't just mend her heart. Human beings have the power of potential! Which I -- which we believe in!" Gridman shouts to Alexis.
Akane is right. For someone who has caused so much suffering... It'd be pretty cathartic to punch the Hyper Devil in the face. Alexis was so quick to brag about his immortal, unending existence, after all. Gridman can feel his allies around him, their machines taking the field. Tsutsujidai is still a space of mended-computer world blocks, but with the pink light of Fixer Beam still glimmering around Gridman, that's sure to change.
"If you can't understand what I mean," Gridman takes a fighting stance as Alexis draws his spear. This time, he doesn't tremble. Haloed in the light of Fixer Beam, Gridman has nothing to fear. "I think my friends are ready to show you."
Alexis rushes forward -- and Gridman charges to meet him.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
A big world's too much for Akane to handle. Rikka can sympathise with that. It's difficult - the world is a lot to face, and there's always so much. But it's as they've all said...
"That's why we want you to rely on us. To believe us." Rikka replies. "That's what our relationship is."
Akane faces everyone. And in the end... she comes to the conclusion herself. It feels good to hear her say it. Good to decide that she can't run away...
...To decide to return to where she belongs. And where she belongs... is right here with her, and everyone who's heart reached out to her.
Akane opens the door -
And she's greeted by Rikka's smiling face, turning to welcome her as Akane takes up Synchrotank's comms. Her smile softens, as Akane gives her a peck on the cheek.
There's nothing she wants more in the world right now than to sweep her up in a great, big hug and never let go. But for now... she satisfies herself by reaching for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I would've waited forever, if I had to. ...I'm glad I didn't have to." Rikka replies - and then chuckles, good-naturedly. "...We really do."
Rikka lets go, taking up Synchrotank's controls once more as Akane gives everyone her message. Synchrotank accelerates out of the junkyard, racing to where Gridman stands as a beacon to fight by his side. Rikka spares Akane a single glance to the side, offering her a smile.
"Are you ready? Let's go - to secure our future!"