2022-11-07: Intake
- Log: 2022-11-07- Intake
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Ouka Nagisa, Sayla Mass, Asuka Shikinami Langley
- Where: Tsutsujidai - Ouka Nagisa's Apartment
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-11-07
- Summary: As Ouka Nagisa's condition continues to deteriorate, she finally receives some genuine care.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
This is going to suck.
Akane's still thinking it as she gets the text that Sayla's touched down. The truth of the matter is that literally no matter how she slices it, she has to give up some measure of control here. Either Marusan was going to call Sayla, which Akane has correctly estimated would go much, much worse and much more slowly; the School was going to break in and retrieve their wounded asset, which would give the lie very quickly to her 'I'm done dropping kaiju on things to kill my problems' plan; or, well.
Ouka could die! Ouka could just die.
Akane's not really ready for that one though. She's still having some Emotions about High Tension's pilot; certainly she can't be party to another negligent death, and this time of one much more directly related to her.
Scratch 'going to suck,' this already sucks.
Akane arrives at Ouka's apartment, peeking her head in first. "Hey, Ouka?" she calls, before making her way to Ouka's actual room. "It's Akane! I have some news... I called a pediatrician from outside the city for you. Not one of the School's, or anything. She's going to help figure out your electrolyte problem! I already gave her my notes on what's working so far... she's going to check you out and recommend a next course of action, okay?"
... though really, Akane's pretty sure that that next course of action is getting Ouka real help, not this -- paper-thin facade of kindness. And that's probably going to mean...
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
Dreams are unusual for Ouka.
This is in part due to the nature of her brainwashing. The subconscious mind, as vulnerable as it is to suggestion, is the well worn path through which Setme institutes her conditioning. As such she does not typically dream in the form that other people do. Not unless Aguila is busily constructing a new lie for her to believe.
But as of late she has been dreaming, and always the same dream. She is there, on the pale shore of a black river, under a sky glittering with an impossible number of stars. Even in her dream her body is heavy and refuses to move. Each night she watches, unmoving, as the lightless water of the river overflows its banks and threatens to consume her... before a roar can be heard coming from deep within the fog, and the river retreats back.
... this dream though is different. As came into it, she was aware that the river had overflowed its banks and was already drawing dangerously close to her. Her body is leaden and numb. She is afraid. She knows whatever would happen if that blackness took her it would be bad for her. But she cannot run. She cannot do anything.
AWAKEN
A pair of pale hands reach down and seize upon her, dragging her back from the black shore. She looks up to see who the hands belong to, and happen across a ghastly sight. A woman with pale hair, pale skin, and pale robes... no, her body is wrapped in naught but own hair to preserve her modesty. Worst of all though is her eyes. She can't see her eyes, because they have been wrapped in cloth.
Cloth that had been nailed to her eye sockets.
"Who are you?" Ouka manages in fear. Even through that cloth wrapping the figure's eyes, she feels her gaze fall upon her.
AWAKEN
OR DIE
'Hey, Ouka?'
Akane's timid voice stirs Ouka from her night terror. She finds herself yet again laying upon the bed she has been confined to for the last week. In her arms is tucked a black kitten plushie wearing a witch's hat. A gift from friend, and her companion when even Asuka must leave her. Still shaken from her dream it takes Akane speaking up again for her to realize who has come to visit her.
"Akane?" Ouka takes pains to sit up taller in bed. It takes a lot for her to do so. Everything takes a lot for her now. The sloth kigurumi she had decided to purchase and wear never seemed more appropriate given the lethargy with which she moves.
"A doctor? From outside the city?" Ouka's voice, thin though it is, carries a slight note of concern. She is glad to hear The School isn't involved. But she still worries about outsiders. Those who have not accepted Akane's Wisdom and Grace. But still... this is Akane's choice, and she knows what is best. Ouka will not refuse her.
"Of course." She begins softly, "Anything I can do to help take some of your burden off of you..." Her eyelids droop, and she chews just a bit on the inside of her lip, "I've missed you. I understand you are busy, and I can't help you much in this state, but I'm just glad to have you here. Even for a little while."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla is in professional mode at this point. She has her medical tools- standard diagnostics, equipment to draw blood, etc- but she similarly doesn't feel good about this. Things must have been desperate for Ramo to make the play to bring her in and make Akane call her in. She asked questions about any changes over the two hour period it took her to get here, of course.
But when she steps through the door, it's professional mode. Ouka's a teen, but given the circumstances. "Hi Ouka," Sayla's voice is soft, trying to provide a calming presence. "I'm Dr Mass, I'm going to do all I can to help. Akane will be here the whole time." She didn't discuss that part, but it's kind of a necessity in Sayla's mind, given what she understands of the School.
"Is it okay if I start with checking your temperature and blood pressure? I'd like to get your blood oxygen as well." She doesn't reach for the equipment until she has Ouka's permission, but when she does, Sayla's movements are very open and telegraphed- no surprises, no fast movements. Calm and careful.
She tries to hide her response to Ouka's feelings. Her feeling of happiness is hollow, but what about her feelings towards Akane? "Just getting rest is doing plenty, don't you agree Akane?" She looks to Akane, carefully mouthing 'please'. They need Ouka at ease.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Taking a breath in as Ouka starts to sit up a little taller, Akane gives her a look over. She's... really struggling, Akane thinks -- this isn't really a place for struggle. Please let this work out, she thinks to herself.
"I wanted to do more than bring over food once a day," she says, at Ouka's mention that she's been missed. "It's..." It's not good to be here, but Akane forces herself to smile and affirm, "... yeah, I'm glad I could be here."
She watches Sayla's movements carefully -- part of her still... struggles to trust. This is definitely the best adult she had to call, but it's chewing at her that she had to at all, and she doesn't... really trust anyone, in her core.
"Yeah," Akane agrees with Sayla, able to spot social pressure when she sees it. "You've been really good about taking care of yourself, and everyone's done their best to help you... and you've made it pretty easy!"
She moves to the other side of the bed from Sayla, keeping an eye on her as best she can.
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
Ouka fixates on Sayla as soon as she enters the room. Weak and vulnerable as she is, and broken of The School's control as she has been, she still has many automatic responses programmed within her. Including the assessment of potential threats.
Looking at Ouka though, Sayla can probably recognize the signs of illness. Without her makeup the pallor and dark circles under her eyes are evident. Even the act of sitting up suddenly has caused her heart to race, and her body to break out in a cold sweat. A sign of her autonomous nervous system not quite working like it should be, perhaps? There's also her eyes. Pupils are dilated - though that is likely due to the darkness of the room? Then there's the odd... shine they have to them. Like the shine of light reflecting off of the tapetum luidum of a cat's eyes. Though humans don't have those... at least, humans who have not been left to The School's tender mercies.
"Sayla Mass." Ouka speaks softly, "I didn't expect someone like you to come here to see me..." She then glances towards Akane as she moves to the other side of the bed. A fond smile comes to the Boosted Child's face, "I see. You really have been working hard for me all this time."
There is a genuine fondness for Akane. But also sadness. Ouka recognizes the burdens her 'sister' carries, thanks to her own emotional sensitivity, and it hurts her to know she can't help her. Just as she can't help Seolla, or Arado.
Just like she couldn't help Latune 11.
Ouka's eyes do not long leave Sayla though, and she watches the carefully telegraphed moves. Her eyes scan the tools that are produced. Then Sayla asks for permission to check her temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. She nods in agreement, and then slides her left arm out of the kigurumi so that Sayla can have easier access to it.
Upon touching her skin it is immediately obvious that her flesh is cold and clammy. Feeling for her pulse takes a bit of effort, as shallow and rapid as it is. Taking her blood pressure will reveal what Sayla likely already suspects: It's low, very very low. Her oxygen levels are also low. Everything indicates that Ouka has been suffering from hypotension from quite a while now.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla's early results are... not promising. She is keeping everything under control, obvious hypotension, low oxygen levels... She's prepared for some of this. "Well, I'm happy to subvert your expectations." She keeps that gentle smile.
Ouka's making connections of her own, and the kindest approach is not to correct her. It's also going to be tricky to find a point for an IV with the veins like that. "...I know we discussed this, but I'd like to try norepinephrine. Ouka, do you know if you're allergic to any medication?" This *should* be a safe option but whether it is...
She reaches into her bag- collapsible IV stands are a wonderful technology, unfolding it. But again, she waits for permission. "I'd like to take some bloods as well, but I'd like to get your blood pressure stable first."
Akane's given her her notes but... This feels like it's way, way more complicated. She has to do what she can, though. She owes it to everyone here.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane spots the threat-searching in Ouka's eyes, tired as they are. What she'd said to Orpheus comes to mind again -- especially when there's that faint hint of eyeshine, of reflection. Not a hero's eyes, not a victim's eyes, not a villain's eyes... the eyes of...
... Akane turns away on reflex, letting Sayla do her work. "Yeah," she answers Ouka, a little distantly. "I was hoping you wouldn't have to fight anymore... but this fight kind of sucks." And it is a fight.
Akane knows a lot about the kind of fights that happen when you're lying perfectly still after all.
When the collapsible IV stand comes out, Akane -- actually decides she can't handle this right now. "Excuse me -- I'm going to update Marusan on what's going on, okay? I don't wanna get in your way... I'm going to step outside. I'm counting on you both!"
She immediately steps out -- and for good measure, heads down to the next level of the apartment complex.
Then, for good measure, she whips her phone at the plush, comfortable chair someone in the unit on the end left on the balcony.
She's spared Ouka this outburst, of course. Sayla, on the other hand, can't escape the anger shooting out of Akane.
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Akane. Those golden eyes of hers reflect light, true, but they catch much of what can be seen. It is within the relative darkness of her bedroom where they are best suited after all. They allow her to see details that would normally be hidden in dim light.
She wasn't meant to have to fight anymore. A beautiful dream. A dream, in fact, that she herself was seduced into. A beautiful lie.
The collapsible IV comes out, and Akane excuses herelf. Ouka doesn't move to stop her. That's a fight she can't win after all. She can't stop the pain that's unfolding before her very eyes. The worse part of her condition is how it impacts others, and has forced her to push others away. She doesn't want to. She hates being alone. But she knows that they don't deserve to be trapped here with her. She doesn't wish to be a weight dragging them down into suffering.
She waits until Akane is gone before she turns to Sayla, her heart heavy even behind the hollow happiness she experiences.
"It won't work." Ouka says softly, "At least, not in the way you expect." The First Boosted child lowers her gaze, her expression has a look of resignation to it. "My body isn't like yours, or any other Boosted Child's. It's not like anyone's. It wasn't designed to last. It was designed, to impress, and to stoke the imagination. I've overheard Dr. Koch and Dr. Feff discuss it before. Even they don't know how to fix me anymore. Not really. Dr. Koch thinks I should be retired to the Moderator and only brought out for demonstrations or special occasions. And Dr. Feff thinks..."
She looks down at her left hand, attached to the left arm that she uncovered so that Sayla can do her work. She can feel it again - feel the tingling, the pinpricks of pain in the thousands. It's only because she can't see the shine of metallic scales forming over her skin that she knows it's just in her imagination. She remembers the cold gleam in his eyes as he looked down her, infected as she was, even as her broken machine was incinerated behind her. And she wondered...
Her body is wracked by her shuddering, which in turn causes her to collapse further back into her pillow. The terror was so sharp and primal that it momentarily pushed her body to try and prepare for fight or flight. There were no reserves to call upon. And instead of strength or speed, she was left with more exhaustion.
"At this point... the only thing I know that could work, would be for me to be retuned in a Moderator. But there's only one place to get one of those... and they'd never let anyone borrow or use one."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
The weight of Ouka's sorrow is immense. That hopelessness, that loneliness. She's felt it in other places. "...That's what I was afraid of." Sayla says, quietly. She knew this was a possibility. There's things she can't reveal to Ouka, not while the School could get that information from her. Adler Koch, though, she knew the name. He was on the Freeden's list, but jumped ship after the Titans.
Her blood boils. She hovers a hand over Ouka's shoulder. "May I?" Her intention is to provide a comforting hand, but she has to check-
tAnd then something occupies her mind, and Sayla stares into space for a moment, two, three... before coming back to reality. "...DG Cells?" She half whispers at that vision in her head, shifting her eyes to Ouka. "Did they actually expose you to DG Cells?" She feels... angry. Vicious. And this is a problem she knows who to point at.
"...Would you be willing to take a chance on something that isn't a sure thing?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane walks over to the chair and retrieves her phone -- and then, for good measure, gives the chair a stiff kick. ... it's fine, because she's 4'10" and weighs like 98 pounds or something, she does no actual damage to the upholstery. She's just angry in a way she can't metabolize.
She makes her way back into Ouka's apartment, but she's pretty slow about it -- giving her plenty of time to respond to Sayla's offer in private. (Not that she knows that she's doing that.)
When she gets back in, she's still got her chirpy, friendly, best-face-forward persona on. "So -- how's this going...?" she asks, doing her best to stay confident. Part of it's for Ouka's sake -- but part of it is that she just doesn't want Sayla to see the pathetic, angry person she is at heart.
... as if she could stop her.
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
Given that Dr. Mass has come at Akane's behest, and thus is the person Akane believes would be best to help her, means that Ouka is far more willing to subject herself to treatment. She gives Sayla an odd look when she reaches for her shoulder. But she allows it.
... going into the mind of Aurum-1 isn't perhaps the thing one should do often, if they value their sanity. Even in the best of times (and thanks to Akane this time is better than most) her mind is fragmented. A stitched together patchwork of half-complete memories and enforced conditioning. Too deep a dive would lead to one potentially getting lost, trapped in cycles of guilt that lead upon themselves like so many dark snakes eating their own tails.
And then there was the memory. The arm, the metallic scales crawling up her limb, the snowy Siberian airfield, Egret Feff staring down at her with those cold eyes.
'H-help... me...'
'Take that for observation. Once we receive a complete data set on how the DG Cells integrate organic tissue, purge its system of infection, but not before.'
The memory faded into darkness as she was led away into the depths of the base. Ouka blinks a bit, her expression growing concerned while Sayla stares into empty space. Then the words come: DG Cells? Did they actually expose you to DG Cells?
Ouka Nagisa's eyes shoot open. She doesn't want to talk about it. She is afraid of even talking about it - like that even expressing the memory with words would bring it into being.
"... yes." Ouka admits and then lowers her gaze. She feels... ashamed? It may seem odd, though emotions are not always rational.
'... Would you be willing to take a chance on something that isn't a sure thing?'
At this point she doesn't really have a choice, does she? It's either stay here as she is, the weight burdening the hearts of those around her, or take a risk and perhaps return to a form where she might be able to stand at the side of others and enjoy life with them.
Or she might die.
AWAKEN OR DIE
"Yes." Ouka says with a release of breath, "Whatever must be done, I will be the one to do it."
Shortly after, Akane returns. Immediately her heart leaps with joy at that. She smiles towards Akane, even as tired and worn as she looks. She watched Akane retrieve her phone, and kick the chair, but never once does the smile drop from her lips. "It's going alright. I... we were just going over some patient history... I suppose?" She glances back at Sayla. Her expression pleading. The shame she feels leaks in: She doesn't want to worry others anymore than they are already.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
...Egret Feff. She has a face, a name, and an affiliation. She'll be talking to Radha when she gets back. She sees the worry in Ouka's eyes, and, while Akane can't see her, she places her finger to her lips. Dr Mass is a keeper of secrets.
But she is also not sugarcoat what comes next. "I don't think either of you are going to like what I have to say next, I don't like having to say it. She looks at the little medical briefcase Rain insisted she upgrade to for a second. "...You're in a bad condition and it would have happened no matter what you did. I'd require a specialist to do more... but I do have a colleague in the field I trust." She's keeping her language careful. "But to improve your condition we need to correct your nutritional imbalance. And the means hospitalization, likely dialysis and... potentially an induced coma."
Sayla's expression is serious, tinged with concern. "That's a frightening proposition for most people, and it's not easy. The good news is we can probably treat you at Inoue, so you won't be far from anyone, and they'll know you're getting properly cared for. That will give us time to develop a formula that will work out your dietary needs, and get you back on your feet. There will likely be some physiotherapy, but I doubt it will be much."
Sayla knows it's a lot, so she gives it time to sink in, standing up. She's made a very intensive proposition, but one Ouka might take. One Akane might be able to live with. "From there, we can look at more long term solutions, but that would be me speaking in a different capacity."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Ouka tells Akane how things went while she was out -- and Akane nods. "Okay, cool." She then lets herself start to get back into the conversation -- even if her whole body is still a little tense, even if she's having to stuff down what she's really feeling here.
As Sayla lays out the situation as it stands and what it'll take to correct it, Akane... almost feels relieved. Only almost, though -- there's a lot about this that still isn't gelling for her, a lot that leaves her frustrated. ... but it lets her cling to the illusion -- for a moment -- that her sins aren't so large, that so much of this has been play or even kindness.
"As long as she's okay with it," Akane answers. "I don't think I can do any better than what I already did so as long as you take this one off my hands it's fine."
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
'As long as she's okay with it.'
'... so as long as you take this one off my hands it's fine.'
'as long as you take this one off my hands'
'as you take this one off'
'this one'
It was almost certainly unintentional, but the way Akane speaks of her, even with the assurances that it's only as long as she is okay with it... she realizes it's true. She IS a burden. She is being given up just because she is too difficult to deal with. Too painful to watch fail. Too failed to find any use.
To a certain extent she knew this would happen to her eventually. She expressed it clearly to Sayla not long ago, that even The School couldn't fix her failings even if they wanted to. They had given up a long time ago on the notion. Instead they were all seeking to replace her in their own way: Adler Koch by refining his GEIM Machine prototype, Aguilla Setme by recording her memory engrams and combat experience into a format that could be copied into others, and Egret Feff by working on the DG Cells to create his so-called 'Machinery Children'. In any case, the only room for existence in those futures was as data - the useful bits cut away from her failing corporeal form.
"No..."
Ouka's staring at Akane as she mutters the word. For the first time since arriving in Tsutsujidai, she feels hot tears running down her face. Her pale frame shaking as she squeezes the 'witch cat' plushie in one arm and grips the covers tightly with the other. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to be alone. I want to stay. I know you've tried your best, I know you would do more if you could... I know... you're afraid for me, I know you think I'm going to die. But that would be better wouldn't it?! Wouldn't dying here be better... than to be sent away, to die alone?"
Images. The Mummy wrapped in bandages and sealed in a sarcophagus with flesh eating beetles in a mockery of the sacred burial rituals. A lonely pale shore across an endless black river. The crack of falling stone, a lion plushie soaking in a pool of blood. Countless hands reaching out of the river for her, scraping black trails through the pale sand towards her, undermining her place on the bank. Bodies floating, screaming a deafening silence.
The world around her spins. The windows bleed black, the ceiling boils, the walls fall out and the world beings to melt away.
Outside though there is movement. It is abrupt, it is sudden, and surprising. With a strength she no longer has she manages to pull herself from her bed and half falls, half lunges towards Akane. Her desire is simple: To take some part, her torso, her hips, her legs, even her feet, into her arms. To hug her as tight as she can manage, even for a moment. To feel like she could hold onto her 'sister', and not have to let her go.
"I'm sorry..." She will manage between strained breathing, "... it's not your fault that I'm sick. This shouldn't... be your burden... I don't want... to die... I will go... please... help... me..."
The last words are clearly not towards Akane, but towards Sayla, as the price of her exertion is that she begins to slide into unconsciousness once more.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
This close -- with Ouka grasping her plushies tight, then lunging to grab her -- Akane... either feels Ouka's feelings wrapping around her or just plain shows some normal human empathy. (She flinches at the sudden motion, but that keeps her close enough for Ouka to remain on the bed hugging her awkwardly at the hips. At this point it's such a foreign feeling that it's actually hard to say what's going on between the two of them, inextricably linked through kaiju -- as Ouka practically begs her to let her stay, and then turns right around and admits she doesn't really want to die, Akane struggles to find an answer. Her eyes snap wide open, and the world feels so, so claustrophobic.
When Ouka dips into unconsciousness, Akane doesn't even move to get her back into the bed -- indeed, she doesn't move at all. She's too overwhelmed to do anything but stand stock still, the hand that started clenching now tight enough that -- were it anyone else -- she'd be drawing blood.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla senses it coming before Ouka lunges- the sheer amount of trauma here, the cruelty. With the Kaiju's roaring in the background it does, and she doesn't move in time to stop what happens. Instead she is unable to do more than watch.
When her body responds, Sayla kneels down and gently takes some of Ouka's weight. "I'll help you. I promise. You don't deserve to have to go through this."
She can see that Akane herself is in what might as well be shock. "Akane, I'm going to get her back into bed, okay?" She's careful, not to hit Akane with more touch right now. This is... extremely bad. Extremely.
Sayla practicedly handles Ouka on to the bed, before looking to Akane. ...She didn't want anyone else to know but...
>Ramo, can you request an ambulance to my location? It's to move a house call patient. I'm trusting your discretion. -Sayla
And now, she stands up and walks over to the kitchen as though she's been here before. Sayla pours a glass of water before walking back to the bedroom, where she wordlessly moves it towards Akane's clenching hand- the one that should be bleeding. "Akane, please take this."
Sayla is very quiet, her voice calm and measured again. There's a lot rolling under here, but right now... She needs to be stabilizing. They don't deserve what's happened to then.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Okay," Akane says; she's at least acknowledging the direction -- and does her best to get out of Sayla's way and extract herself from Ouka without accidentally pulling her out of bed. It takes her several seconds to really get past that level of responsiveness, though -- plenty of time for Sayla to start moving to the kitchen, get a glass of water, and come back.
She accepts the water, a little relieved that Sayla only got her water -- she's in no condition to wave off food. "Okay," she says again. She takes a long drink, and then levels with Sayla:
"This is the world you want all of us to go back to, huh?" she asks, tone knife-edged... but she's not quite feeling dangerous enough to wield it too aggressively.
Sayla receives an instant text back.
> That's... Nagisa's apartment? I'm on it.
> Is Akane there?
> If she is... uh
> Tell her she can copy my notes for tomorrow if she's not up to it.
> But only tomorrow's.
Ramo breathes a long sigh of relief out. It... worked out. Small victories.
Akane's still slipping deeper into numb, having run herself out of comfortable ways to get physically angry. She manages a, "... still kinda surprised you came," after a second.
'I know you think I'm going to die. But that would be better, wouldn't it?'
... she doesn't even know what she can do, at this point. She can't keep the facade of this situation up much longer. She needs to fix what she broke -- and they all need their own dreams, or...
... this kind of stuff is going to keep happening.
<Pose Tracker> Ouka Nagisa has posed.
After slipping into unconsciousness, Ouka is easy enough to disentangle from Akane and move into bed. She is surprisingly heavy given her 5'2" frame - likely due to her dense musculature and modified bone structure thanks to The School's meddling - but not so much that it would prevent Sayla from pulling her back onto the bed.
Once she is laid back onto the bed her breathing begins to slow from its ragged struggle to keep up with her body's recent expenditure to a normal rhythm. For now there are no dreams that come to her. Instead there is only the peace of escaping her body's own failings, and the calm of slumber.
... perhaps that is a relief? Even if dreams should fail to bring the child that is Ouka Nagisa peace, that at least in the darkest and most dreamless of slumbers she still finds peace? Even now, without her makeup, with her deathly pallor, and dark circles under her eyes, there is an odd beauty to her peaceful sleep. One could almost see her as one of the princesses who were enchanted by a witch, in one of those ancient films that she enjoyed watching together with Asuka.
Sadly, the world is in short supply of princes who could cure such an enchantment with kisses... or so it would seem.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Once she's sure Ouka is settled, sleeping and breathing does Sayla say anything. "The ambulance is on it's way." She looks tense. "...Those sick bastards." Low, and half whispered. That might not be what Akane expected to here. But when Akane's knife makes an inexpert jab... Sayla shakes her head. "No, it's not." She taps on her arm. She knows it's lashing out but...
"...I hate the way the world out there is too. I hate that the Federation does things like this to kids, even after everything. I hate that fucking Blue Cosmos controls the federation caucus. Of course I don't want you to go back there." She has to own it, be honest here.
"I just think it's better than the alternative."
Sayla finds a place to sit down as she waits. Leina's going to kill her for removing the cast herself on the flight but... problem for later. "...I know. But it would have been cruel to both of you if I hadn't, not to mention cruel to the rest of Ouka's friends." She sighs. "Besides, I don't make promises I can't keep."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Leaning against the wall opposite Sayla, Akane's eyes widen in surprise rather than whatever jumble of emotions was there last time -- and a little more as Sayla admits how much she hates the world outside.
... If she hates it so much -- why wouldn't she...?
... no, it's fine. Better not to pick at it -- or more accurately, it's so incomprehensible that Akane kind of dreads any way the conversation can go. She takes a few moments to just sit there in silence, looking at one of Tsutsujidai's... many, many sleeping princes and princesses.
"I don't intend to keep this whole thing going too much longer you should get ready to book it out of here," Akane says, eventually. "If you just let me win they'll be fine and they won't have to go back either. They can have their own dreams. I don't want them depending on me forever if it looks like this."
... In the end, there's only one person she really wants to defeat, and only one person she wants all to herself. Unfortunately, she also wants him as someone she'll be able to take care of, and her safe from Akane herself, and --
-- before she gets too far into that train of thought, though...
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
There's so much Sayla wants to unpack there. That she's going to need to, some day. But 'I don't want them depending on me forever if it looks like this' sticks in her mind. Like she's found some cipher to Akane. And she doesn't like it.
There's a knock at the door. "Ambulance!" Sayla stands up, and readies herself for the worst.
----
The transfer was pretty smooth, all told. Ouka is transported carefully out on a stretcher. Sayla gives the paramedics a datacard with the output of her own work. The only complication is next of kin, and emergency contact. Either way, it's all settled efficiently.
"...Can you help me sort out her things? Clean underwear, bathroom kit, change of clothes, any personal objects she'll want in there?" She picks up the witch cat plush Ouka had earlier. This is probably one of them. Does Ouka even have luggage? Probably not. Sayla is looking around the apartment for what she can do. It really is so similar.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Even if she'd been told to take the day off from watching Ouka, that doesn't mean she wasn't on her mind. So she'd stopped at Starbows again to do her homework, then to copy it for Ouka in a subtly different handwriting.
The way she figured, the moment Akane set things right, she could go straight back to school, not even have to worry about all that crummy makeup homework - just go back, like she wanted.
After that, she'd made a run to a local pharmacy, her bags laden with things in her attempt to keep Ouka comfortable. OTC medications, cold packs, hot packs, vaporubs and other forms of aromatherapy. She knows she can't arrest the process but she can make her feel a little better. She then loaded up on snacks and drinks for herself and...
... dug deep into the bargain bin for movies of the type Ouka wanted to watch. She had to go real deep, like no theatrical release direct to video sequel deep, but she found some.
Asuka rebalances the convenience store bags she's carrying along with the school bag as she turns the corner. Just in time to see the ambulance. Asuka freezes, her blue eyes catching a glimpse of dark green hair...
... right before the doors shut. And the bags just drop from nerveless fingers scattering snacks, drinks, films and pharmacy supplies besides.
It was like something she'd seen several hundred times before, but something in her Bujack addled mind, free of the learned helplessness of NERV's third branch caused a different reaction this time, "Wait. Wait-!" She rasps and starts jogging forward, as the emergency lights go on, and it pulls away.
Briefly she entertains the idea of breaking a car window, hot wiring a vehicle, chasing after it, but it's already moving away far too fast. And she didn't see anyone with her other than the medics.
Instead her gaze turns up the stairwell up to the apartment. And suddenly Asuka tears up the stairs, not even bothering to pick up what she dropped. She's not even out of breath when she hits the door running, and asks a simple question to the occupants of the apartment, a little hushed, "... what happened?"
It may not be entirely clear to Akane how upset she is, her expression just exudes this sort of low level shock and surprise like she just doesn't know what's going on, like she's just confused. Sayla however might feel it clearly.
The sheer weight of devastation - of emotional desolation in this moment. From the same girl whose anger was so blindingly bright that night Anti tore the sky open and revealed a reality breaking down at the seams.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane stays out of the way. She doesn't think she can do any good in this situation anymore, so she doesn't even try; she just lets everything swirl around her. When they prompt for an emergency contact and a next of kin, Akane volunteers Asuka; even if it's not quite accurate, Asuka did a good job of taking care of her in her stead and probably would be the first one to want to know.
Speaking of which -- hello, Asuka!
Akane's expression isn't so far from Asuka's; she's trying to keep herself level, but the situation keeps dragging her back down to shock and confusion. She can't quite tell it's also true of Asuka -- because her feelings are so much the same that even if she felt something, she'd have a hard time parsing it out.
"... Her condition kinda started cratering and I couldn't fix it so I called Dr. Mass," Akane answers, tonelessly. "She's going to the hospital to get better treatment."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla can feel the sheer crushing weight before Asuka's even through the door, the distress the girl isn't showing. So she decides to to and negotiate the visible feelings, and the invisible. "...unfortunately, yes. Her blood pressure was dangerously low, and there's a number of other worrying factors. I asked to have her moved to the hospital so we could start treatment. I'm not going to tell you there's nothing to worry about, but I think her chances will be a lot better there than they are in this room."
All that said and done, she can feel Akane... disconnecting a little. Gh. Neither of them are going to be in a good state. "Are you the friend who has been watching over Ouka? My name is Sayla Mass, I'm a paediatrician." She pauses at how to go about this. That heavy devastation... "...We were about to start putting together a bag to take to Ouka, but I think you might be better suited. Do you think you're up to it?" Provide a task, see how she reacts. That might help her give direction and help her get through it.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Akane lays it out. And Asuka draws herself up as she takes it in. It doesn't matter that Akane said she'd handle it. She doesn't blame her. More accurately, she can't blame her. Her purpose is to learn to love her with all of her heart. She hasn't even gotten to feeling anger about this situation yet.
"... Right." Asuka says after a moment, there's a sort of, hollow acceptance of it before adding. "Not your fault." Of course this happened. Why should she expect differently?
Of course NERV, of course the School was going to do everything in their power to get their property back. They preempted this scenario in Ouka by offering her only a slow death if she dared to leave them. Asuka would have accepted that cruelty if it was for her, but not Ouka.
Ouka's actually human. She deserves to go to school and swim and have a normal life doing everything she wants to do.
She's actually quagmired in her thoughts over this when Sayla starts laying out what the problem was. And it dawns on her to start listening to her midway through that.
Sayla asks her if she's the friend, and Asuka... "Not sure if friend is the right word." Asuka says eventually. She'd struggle to think of herself as anyone's friend ordinarily, but right now she can't because she feels like somehow, she's failed at her responsibility to her. Instead she calls herself a word that feels more accurate to what Ouka wanted of her time here, what she wanted to be, "Classmate."
At the task she gives her, "... Sure. Can do that Doc." She eyes the witch cat plush and... "Be right back. Can grab something to put it all in."
She leaves, and is back less than a minute later with the empty bags she dropped. An apartment complex trashcan downstairs is stuffed with the contents that didn't just roll away. Right away she just offers two of the bags for things Sayla's already gathered herself.
... At some point in grabbing objects for Ouka, she picks up the copies of Ouka's favorite films so far and stuffs them in the bag too. For just in case she is coherent enough to watch at the hospital.
Some part of her knows that's pointless optimism... that there's no chance... but she takes it anyway.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Just like with the EMTs, Akane withdraws deeper into the far corner of the room when Asuka starts moving. She doesn't feel like she ought to be doing much of anything at all here -- no, it's not that exactly. It's that her sense of control is so scrambled right now that she can't even conceptualize taking action. Things are just happening. She's in the room. ... kind of.
"I bet I can crib someone's notes for tomorrow so if you wanna take tomorrow off too that's on the table," Akane notes for Asuka, as she picks up a plush. "I can make copies." There's definitely been a change in her cadence, here -- she's flattened out pretty severely even compared to when she was talking on the phone with Sayla.
Ultimately, though, she decides...
"... I'll get out of your way," and when she says it, she's a little more aware, a little more apologetic. "I don't think there's anything I can do here."
Which is, of course, the whole reason for this situation in the first place. She starts to move to leave.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
There's a pair of spirals here, and Sayla can feel both of them. Guilt. Failure. Helplessness. The common thread, painful and real. And they're making each other worse. But letting Akane leave with that helplessness...
"Oh, Ramo said you could borrow hers for tomorrow. And Akane, could you do me a favour?" An excuse, any excuse. Something to also let her clear a little of that transactional debt. "Could you grab me something from Starbows? We might be waiting a while and I don't want to deal with hospital coffee." It seems so blase but, she's a doctor. She's used to hospitals. And it stops Akane wallowing, if just a little.
"Thank you." Sayla says, as Asuka grabs her the bags. She notices the bags Asuka gives her, but says nothing for now. She simply starts gathering what she can. She opens the wardrobe, not sure what to expect. It is, Sayla thinks, going to be a quick task. "I guess classmates at Tsutsujidai really reach out for one another." This is maybe stepping on a landmine, Sayla thinks, but better to detonate here than at the hospital.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Asuka looks sideways at Akane as she mentions the notes and school. She's struggling to even think of school right now... and she doesn't doubt she could get by without the notes. However it's a kind offer, from Akane, "... Yeah that seems..." Asuka closes her eyes, "... yeah. See you at school, day after tomorrow."
Sayla asks Akane to grab her coffee, and Asuka finishes helping pack up the few clothes that Ouka has from Akane's attempts to buy her a new wardrobe, as she's twisting the plastic bag shut, Sayla...
Asuka feels like she just got punched in the gut, however she hardly seems to react other than her chin lifting fractionally and looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She doesn't really know who Dr. Mass is other than a pediatrician helping Ouka, so she doesn't really filter herself from talking as much as she might otherwise.
"We were classmates before coming here too. Wasn't like now though. Didn't get along then it boiled over... because of me..."
Asuka finishes tying off the bag, "... afterwards she wasn't allowed to acknowledge my existence."
Pause.
"Anyhow, think that's just about everything Doc."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
When Sayla gives Akane something to do, it does indeed arrest her freefall a bit. "... okay," she says, and while she doesn't stop moving to exit -- now, at least, she can do something with it other than sulk in her room, at least for an hour or so while she walks to Starbows and then back.
She does pause -- just momentarily -- as she hears 'we were classmates before, too.' She takes in the new information, and...
... what is she even supposed to do with that one? She has no idea -- certainly not right now, deep in the forest in her sense of self, so...
... she books it out of the apartment and down the stairs. To Starbows with her for now, at least.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
That reaction tells her a lot, and Sayla stops. "I'm sorry. That was thoughtless of me." Whether Asuka accepts her apology is another matter. What might be perhaps concerning is how calm she is about being told about Ouka's blindness. She waits until Akane has left before saying more. "Thank you again."
Sayla looks around. "Would you tell me your name?" She isn't making any move to leave... quite yet.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
There's just this soft nasally grunt, but whatever Asuka is feeling seems to deescalate a little upon the apology. It's like she has trouble, outwardly accepting things like that. However Sayla gets a nod when she thanks her.
Then she asks her name, and those sky blue eyes look right at her for a moment as if to ask 'what's that matter?' but - it's like her frustration over this whole situation is just gradually being muted enough that she doesn't answer her reflexively. Like something is taking the edge off of it.
"Langley. Asuka Shikinami Langley."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla's realizing how tightly wound Asuka is here- and yet.. No, that's not important. What's important is getting the information they need.
She takes a quick second. If they were classmates before... This is a long shot. "...Miss Langley, Ouka told me some things. About what she thinks would help her." She takes a deep breath. "And you were classmates and now you're both here.."
This is such a reckless play but... She's been playing too careful for a while now. "I know about the people who did this to Ouka. I know their handiwork. And I know the kids they hurt can recover- but Ouka has the odds stacked against her. The treatment we have planned for her will help, but it's slow." Sayla seems to be mulling over every sentence in her head.
"...I also still know people who are willing to make dangerous moves to help people like her- if they know where to look." Sayla locks eyes with Asuka. "Ouka told me she didn't want to die, and asked for my help. If I'm way off base, then I'm sorry for making your life more difficult... but having someone forbidden from recognizing your existence kind of stands out as their work." Sayla steadies herself. "So, I'm going to ask you..."
"Can you help me help her?"
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Asuka lofts a single auburn eyebrow as Sayla says that Ouka told her some things about what she thinks will help her. However she doesn't respond. She tells her that she knows the people who did this to Ouka, and Asuka's eyes narrow in suspicion, "What kind of pediatrician are you that you know about them?"
However on guard she is though, she knows Akane did trust her, that Akane brought her here to help her. She doesn't suspect at least that she's with NERV or the School itself.
Clearly she's thinking about it. And she's torn, there's something frustrating about this. She didn't want to tell Guy because she knew he'd be in danger knowing these kind of things. Evoluder or no Evoluder, people like the Second Branch and Gendo Ikari doubtless had countermeasures in place if he turned on them.
However there's something, like this building anger in her as she hears that Ouka doesn't want to die. And one of her hands just, flexes at her side, until she clenches her fingernails in her hand. Can she help her help Ouka? Does it matter if this 'Pediatrician' is some kind of spy?
For a while she just breathes, and it's like that air is seething through her teeth. Until...
"... Tokyo-3. They're working on a project called the GEIM. That's public knowledge - what isn't is that it's a NERV black project collaborating to interface it with the Evangelions. Ouka was their Guinea Pig. Dr. Cuervo Cero is managing it on site. Dr. Aguila Setme was supervising remotely, she mentioned a Dr. Adler Koch as well."
Asuka's not looking at her as she relates all this, "I can give you an address for the site, it's just this abandoned warehouse they were using - but if they figured out I followed her that day, then they probably moved it. Dr. Cuervo Cero is a consummate coward, so if you found him I bet he'd give it up..."
Frustrated, she runs a hand through her hair, "... they consider her disposable at this point. And given that she slipped the leash after losing control recently it's likely they will if they get to her. Last time she did it was because... we got into a fight."
She sounds ashamed about this, "She shut down after. Was catatonic. She acted reflexively to defend Dr. Cero when he came to pick her up, but otherwise... wasn't there. Next time anyone saw her she'd forgotten the incident, and she couldn't even... acknowledge I existed, not even to other people."
After she spits this all out, she seems to back up, as she looks her way, "Look the important part is that they likely have... whatever you need to help her in Tokyo-3. If your people can really pull off something dangerous, that's where they need to go."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla doesn't flinch. "The kind that used to be a soldier and now works with war orphans." Sayla's tone is flat, measured. "One of the biggest classes of people that 'no one will miss'." She lets Asuka make the the rest of the inference on her own. Sayla can feel that anger, white hot, that Sayla has to put up her walls to resist. Even from a non-newtype.
"...of course it is." Sayla's own anger comes out there. She's had her eye on NERV for so, so long. Their involvement with Gridman had complicated matters, required her to keep her distance. Now... "I understand." She's clearly biting her own anger to let Asuka keep hers. "Thank you for telling me this. I'll do all I can to make sure it doesn't come back to you or her. My acquaintances can be discreet." She takes a breath in through her nose, and out through her mouth.
"I'm not going to lie to you and promise you the impossible. But I'll ask them to do what they can. At very least maybe we can find a trail." She picks up the bag, and offers it to Asuka. "And as far as anyone else knows, we were having a hard time finding something Ouka needed, agreed?" It is, in a way, the truth.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
It certainly makes sense, but why does Akane trust her here? Well whatever, the important thing is she does. And it's not like Asuka doesn't realize the truth in what she has to say, "... Yeah well she was one before the school got her. Told me that day in the locker room. Repeated it like it was an advertisement for the School."
Ultimately Sayla thanks her, and to this one Asuka just says... "Thank me by helping her." However, she won't promise the impossible, "And I know better than to expect a miracle for her." Asuka says bluntly. Even now, she can't call Akane's fresh start for them is a miracle. Because...
... It all went wrong.
However, she asks for discretion and... Asuka looks at a wall, rather than at Sayla. She can read between the lines but instead of buying into the lie...
... she says outright what she thinks Sayla's concern is. "There's no need to bother Akane with this. Can tell she feels bad enough as is."
If Akane directly asked... well, of course she'd tell her but...
... she doubts she'd ask.
It's probably the closest thing she'll get to 'agreed' out of her on this though. Her priorities are just messed up right now in how they're hard wired to be different.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
She can respect that. Sayla nods- only for one brief thought to cause her to almost flinch. It's a noticeable reaction from a woman who has had a practiced face. Still...
"Okay." She'll take it, for now. But this still sucks. She seems to have torn into this girl's heart, and has little aid she can offer. "If you want to rest after this, please do. But if you want to join me, I think Ouka would be happy for you to be there when she wakes up." It's something to do. Something to arrest the thoughts.
"Better someone she knows than a strange doctor from out of town, after all."
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Asuka feels like to put it bluntly, shit right now. She thinks she failed her. That she had a responsibility towards her that she's been failing, time and time again. The duty of the elite towards the ignorant masses. Ouka should have been allowed to remain one of those masses, not forced out of them.
She wants nothing more than to go back to her apartment and collapse in bed and not wake up for a while... assuming she can sleep tonight...
... she's had trouble managing without her doll.
However Sayla's argument causes her gaze to tip fractionally downward.
"Happy? ... Not sure you're right, but if it'll freak her out less... sure. I'll go."