2024-06-06: The Birthday Pup
- Log: 2024-06-06 The Birthday Pup
- Cast: Shinji Ikari, Kaworu Nagisa, Mari Makinami Illustrious
- Where: Ra Mari II, Magallanica
- OOC - IC Date: June 6, UC 0099 (2024)
- Summary: Kaworu and Mari stop by Shinji's place to spend his eighteenth birthday with him. Some heavy questions get asked, and some hints are given.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
June 6th... Shinji's birthday. Shinji's eighteenth birthday, in fact, owing to the fact that it's now UC 0099. He doesn't look or feel eighteen, something he's reminded of when he looks at his reflection in the mirror when he gets up that morning and goes to the bathroom to do his various businesses. He barely looks fifteen. He'd thought (hoped) for a while that he was just a late bloomer; after all, his father is many things, almost all of them awful, but one thing he does have going for him is being tall.
Maybe Shinji takes after his mother when it comes to height. He honestly wouldn't know. He doesn't remember what she looks like, and his father destroyed all memorabilia of her long ago.
It's thus turning out to be a gloomy day. He does have the day off from work--Eight insisted--but he doesn't have anywhere to go or anything to do. Most of the crew doesn't know it's his birthday, and... Kaworu will be coming by with Tohji and Kensuke, but not until the weekend, when there's no school to worry about. For today, he'll be alone. After showering, brushing his teeth, and so on, he thus settles in with a cup of coffee at the dinette table in his quarters' dining area.
He looks down at the steaming brown liquid. "...maybe cutting back on coffee would help," he murmurs, thinking again of how he has yet to break 5'2". He shakes his head and little and takes a sip. If something like that were going to help, the time to do it would've been when he might still have had a growth spurt. It doesn't matter anymore now.
As he stares into space, though, his thoughts wander, as they are wont--to Asuka and Rei, even, as they are also wont. But now that he's finally met them again after that fateful day in September '97, he thinks about how they don't look like they've grown any, either. At first he dismissed it as the fact that they were on death's door and spending all that time recuperating, but... all three of them? It's kind of weird...
Those thoughts are interrupted when a gentle knock comes at the door. "Ah, coming," he says, setting down his mug and getting to his feet. His assumption is that it's Eight, or maybe Anita or even Naoko--but when he opens the door and sees Kaworu smiling at him on the other side, he breaks into a broad smile of his own.
"Kaworu-kun! You should've said you were coming by early!" he declares.
"Haha, sorry. But you know I couldn't leave you alone today," he replies warmly, hands tucked in his slacks pockets. Someone else is holding the cake. Someone whom his gaze turns to now. Shinji follows that gaze and sees--
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
And sees --
<3 "Gefeliciteerd~!" <3
An entire eyeful of pink hearts.
That would be for two reasons:
1) Because of the fact that the tank top of the person rapidly on the approach is decorated with one giant, pink heart slapped dead in the center of the chest,
and
2) because Shinji's other guest for today is pushing past Kaworu and suddenly invading his personal space in a way only one person ever truly could.
(kaworu's invasions of personal space, after all, have a very different flavor!)
These two critical components add up to the way Mari Makinami Illustrious, chaos agent extraordinaire, lets out that cheery cry of congratulations as she slings her free arm around Shinji Ikari's neck and suddenly drags him directly into a one-armed embrace that sees him squishing -right up- against that pink heart in a way that is all but mathematically ccalculated to achieve perfect, rapid-fire embarrassment.
~squish~
just like that
One armed occupied with her hug, the other perfectly balancing Shinji's eloquently-made, expertly crafted birthday cake on its fingertips, the cheer and enthusiasm of Mari Makinami Illustrious is a force of nature, same as it ever was. Really, many things about her are the same as they ever were -- she hardly looks like she's aged a day, much the same as the others.
But Shinji would be forgiven for not noticing.
Seeing as how his field of view is currently compromised by a sea of pink cotton, and all.
Almost two years have passed since that day they said their goodbyes on the precipice to Shinji's train ride to a whole new adventure. Almost two years of events and joys and hardships. So can anyone blame her, how she tilts her head down and, while she still has Shinji in his birthday hug(-slash-headlock), and...
Shinji will hear that distinct, little *sniiffff* as Mari takes in his scent with flaring nostrils.
"Hmm. That awkward scent of a pup on a precipice~."
It's been almost two years, after all. A birthday sniff is only traditional, and long overdue.
How else is she to know how he's been doing??
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Gelife--huh??"
After trying to imitate Mari's greeting and immediately mangling it, Shinji gawks at Mari's VERY PROMINENT HEARTS as they suddenly shove their way into his personal space. This is a thing Kaworu does too, of course, but in a different way. When it comes to him, there's a certain assurance--no, Mari has that too--there's a certain confidence--no, Mari has that in spades--SHE HAS BOOBS, OKAY? SHE HAS BOOBS AND THAT MAKES IT WEIRD!!
Shinji will not be examining why this makes it weird, please and thank you, beyond the fact that Mari is grabbing him by the neck and all but SHOVING his face into her rack. Squish. Shinji is caught between a desire to flail and a desire to freeze and expresses this by freezing with his arms in mid-flail.
Kaworu, for his part, casually steps into the room after Mari and shuts the door. He smiles in amusement as she sniffs his dearest friend, but that amusement shifts to light concern when Shinji starts to make a high-pitched noise of terror and/or distress.
"Mary, he needs to breathe," he gently reminds his companion, reaching out to accept the cake set upon the fingertips of her other hand so he can set it on the table, away from any further, more active flailing that may ensue.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
There's just no escaping Mari Makinami's ~very prominent hearts~ making things weird.
Mari, at least, is having a gay old time, her enthusiasm hardly diminishing neither for Shinji's awkward, gangly mid-motion freeze nor the high STRANGER DANGER pitch of the terrified sounds he makes. No, those bright blue eyes of hers are squeezed tight in affectionate joy behind her red-rimmed glasses, her grip on Shinji inescapably tight -- with affection! She hardly even misses a beat as she passes that cake off to Kaworu, either.
No, she only pauses when he offers that gentle piece of advice. She blinks. She looks down at Shinji, struggling and perhaps dying from asphyxiation.
She pouts.
"Aw."
And with that, the bespectacled mystery woman of NERV offers Shinji sweet release (of oxygen, not death, it should be noted), arm loosening to give him his freedom (again, not from life) and instead drape companionably over his shoulders.
"Hello, puppy boy," she all but coos upon Shinji's release. "Tabby Cat mentioned he was coming to see you on this most portentious of days, and I just had to join. After all, it's time for your Mari-Mandated semi-bi-annual check up!"
that is not a thing, mari just made it a thing right now
"So. How does it feel, to be standing on the cliff face to adulthood?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
There truly isn't. Shinji could be facing leaving the train station at the end of the world, and Mari and her EXCESSIVELY PROMINENT hearts would be right there with him.
Fortunately, Kaworu is here too, and at his advising, Mari releases Shinji from his marshmallow hell at last. He GASPS for breath, hunched over his knees, which he clasps as he reclaims sweet, sweet air. This keeps him from having to look Mari in the eye, too. It's not the same as Rei or Asuka, and it's not like she didn't LITERALLY SHOVE HIS FACE INTO THEM, WHICH HE IS CERTAIN SHE DID BECAUSE SHE KNEW HE'D REACT EXACTLY THE WAY HE DID, but he's going to have trouble looking her in the eye for a little bit.
This is especially so given that she's still draping an arm over his shoulders, which means her boobs are still very much Right There.
"M-M-Makinami-san," he manages to get out, tone low but hot and chastising. (It's not like her boobs are uninviting. They're very inviting. That's one of many problems here.) "Why are you always like this..."
"Shinji-kun," Kaworu calls then, "I know it's still morning, but would you like to have cake now or later?"
"U-um, now is good. I don't want to keep you two here all day if you have places to be," Shinji says, attempting to leave Mari's clutches. Emphasis on 'attempting.'
But Kaworu only smiles at him, eyes squinting shut. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than here."
A smile returns to his face. It's quite red, but one can hardly tell a difference considering he's been red for a while now. Mari, who is right there, will get a very good look at it, even as he's looking away from her now.
But then she asks, and Shinji's attention is inevitably pulled back to her, smile fading for a more troubled look. How does it feel? At that, he hesitates, thinking back to maybe half an hour ago at best, when he'd been staring at his reflection. (He does not acknowledge the semi-bi-annual check-up. Mari might still be able to get him, but even after all this time, he knows perfectly well that's just some of her loving nonsense.) "I don't feel like I am," he admits. "I still feel like a child."
I still look like a child, he doesn't add, but it does remind him of Asuka and Rei. And when he gets a better look now at Kaworu and Mari...
...
...Mari's face is way too close...
"U-um, are you going to stay there for much longer, or..."
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Why is Mari like this? asks Shinji.
Does she know what she's doing? Is she doing it because she knew the way Shinji'd react? Why, the nerve! How could anyone ask such a thing!
"Oho. Young pup, you might as well ask the scorpion why it stings the frog~."
Of course she does!
But she can't help it, because she actively chooses not to! This is the secret power of Mari Makinami Illustrious:
She embraces her nature.
And the terrible power of her boobs.
See also, the way her mouth gains a vaguely cattish curl as she takes note of the way Shinji -actively avoids- looking her way despite her proximity. Or the way it blooms to Chershirian proportions to match the knowing way those blue eyes hood when Kaworu returns Shinji's smile to him, and deepens the flush at his cheeks.
(how can she tell it's deepening when she already ruined his face with sheer fluster?)
"Ufu."
(she's just -that good-)
Attempts to flee, of course, are futile. That loose embrace is as soft and companionable as a pillow (heh heh) and yet as inescapably firm as a pillory. How is she so strong--?!
Fondness is fleeting, however, as are all sentiments in life. The touched look at Shinji's expression dissolves away into something more thoughtful in the face of Mari's question. She focuses on him, intent, as he chews it over. By the time he finds his answer, the trickster joy in Mari's expression has completely faded too, into something more intent, more inquisitive. Shinji will be able to tell immediately, of course. He'll even be able to tell how little she seems to have aged, too.
Considering her face is now -INCHES FROM HIS-.
What might be jarring about it is that there isn't that typical playfulness on Mari's part: that stare looks like it stares -through- Shinji and -into- him, as if it could see into his hidden worries and concerns just from the wide-eyed, inquisitive intensity of it. She watches him in complete silence that reigns long after his answer, and even longer still after his flustered follow up...
... and then it gentles.
"Hum," she exhales thoughtfully. "Then, my first present for you today is a piece of earthly wisdom."
And here, she leans in, and in, and in, until her lips hover next to his ear. And she whispers a single recitation into it:
"'If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.'"
With that, she leans back, and -finally- pulls away from Shinji -- but not before ruffling his hair in a way that will leave it affectionately mussed in her wake. Arms stretching over her head, she stalks her way closer to Kaworu and the cake, peering around with thoughtful eyes for a cutting implement.
"There's too many moments in life where we can't be the places we want to be most at the times we most want to be there," Mari says, circling back to Shinji's earlier words about not wanting to keep them here. "So when opportunity arises, shouldn't you spend every moment you can afford in them?"
She glances over her shoulder at Kaworu and Shinji both, offering them a smile.
"Today Tabby Cat and I afford you a whole day, Puppy Boy. You should savor it~." A second passes. Her eyes light up.
"So! A year in review! How has your adventure been??"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
'Because it's my nature,' Mari says without saying.
Shinji side-eyes her while making such a face. The worst part: he really should have figured that would be the answer, because what other answer could it be?
But the duality of Mari means that at the same time that she is an AWFUL TEASE whose IRON GRIP is INESCAPABLE (these sorts of capitals are not Shinji's usual, but Mari just seems to excel at drawing them out of him repeatedly), she's also insightful and considering. After failing to escape from her clutches, he gives in to his awful fate of being hugged by a cute girl and instead looks at her more carefully, now that the embarrassment is more in past tense. The fact that Mari and Kaworu both take it in stride makes it easier for Shinji to do the same, especially when the topic has changed to something more serious.
It's weird. It's always been weird, and it never stops being weird. But for as much as Mari always insists on teasing him, Shinji also always gets the impression that she really does care about him. It's also weird the way she seems like far more of an adult than him even though she can't be that much older, as expressed by her whispered words of wisdom.
"...Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he wonders aloud.
She answers by way of tousling his hair. He grumbles, but doesn't actually complain as he follows her to the table. Even that good-natured grumbling falls to the wayside, though, when Mari implies, then outright says, that she and Kaworu are more than happy to spend the entire day with him. Shinji looks from her to Kaworu, who smiles back warmly; then he, too, smiles back.
"...In that case, let's save the cake for a little later," he offers. "Kaworu-kun, Makinami-san, how about I show you two around? I know you've been here before, but we've never really gone out into the city," he nods to Kaworu here, "and Makinami-san... I don't think you've ever been here at all? Even if you have... the city's grown a lot over the past year or two."
He was just out in town the other day thinking that, even. He's thinking of that when Mari asks him for a year in review, and once again, his good mood drains. "I wouldn't really call it an adventure... I did finish reading Ayanami's book, but..." He bows his head. "...You probably already heard, Makinami-san, but I came back to Tokyo-3 for a couple of visits last month. To see Asuka, and then Ayanami." Shinji pauses. "...It didn't go so great."
Kaworu watches him, his own smile faded. The cake remains on the table. It'll stay in its box to remain fresh for now, locked away, untasted. But it will still be delicious when they return to it tonight.
"...How about we have breakfast first? I'll show you where I work and cook up something for all of us," Shinji adds, looking up at Kaworu and Mari.
"All right," Kaworu says, for while he may not need to eat, he will always savor whatever Shinji serves him.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Shinji makes -such- a face. So does Mari!
It is roughly analogous to this:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/af/fe/0b/affe0bb9a24b2fea1d19cd3e60ac5f4a.png
But otherwise, the poor former Third Child is left to find the answer to the question behind Mari's imparted wisdom on his own. She's already on the move, gravitating to the table and getting ready to carve up some quality cake when the young man speaks up with a suggestion all his own. Looking up from where she's leaning over, rifling through his things to (ostensibly) find a knife, she blinks. Brows lift in tandem until they wrinkle her brow with revelation.
"Hoho," voices Mari, standing up and settling into an arms akimbo pose. "The Puppy Boy takes initiative...!"
It's a tease, of course. And also, somehow, sincerely complimentary. The one-two Mari Special. She doesn't dare try to interrupt his train of thought otherwise, though, very content to let him explain his reasoning with a look of amused appreciation. She lets out a little noise of thought at the tail end of that suggestion, tapping one finger against her hip.
"Even if I have," she echoes his earlier sentiment, "you can experience an entire world a whole new way through someone else's eyes. Why wouldn't I want that?"
It's, probably, her roundabout way of saying yes. Shinji's right, after all. Things can grow and change considerably in even just a year or two. Cities...
... and people, too.
Perhaps it's particularly relevant, then, the question Mari asks him. She asks it in a light-hearted way - and she means it in a light-hearted way - but that he takes it seriously seems to in no way dampen her own mood. In fact, she seems happy for it, in an understated way, her smile turning towards a smaller, subtler thing as she regards him and the way his good mood dwindles with his answer.
I wouldn't really call it an adventure...
"Agree to disagree," Mari cuts in here, because she must.
I did finish reading Ayanami's book, but...
Her head tilts. There's an obvious question there, but the bespectacled woman refrains from asking it -- at least for now. She'll circle back to it eventually. For now...
Shinji talks about his return to Tokyo-3. And as he does, Mari looks Kaworu's way for a handful of poignantly silent seconds.
It didn't go so great.
"Sometimes they don't," she says, simply. It's not dismissive -- but it's not pitying, either. It's a tone given to interpretation in its casual simplicity.
"The Princess has troubles of her own to work through. You know that, right?"
She watches him for a moment. It's subtle, the way she seems to forget to mention Rei at all in her explanation. Maybe she simply did forget. Maybe.
Still; when Shinji draws himself out of his own thoughts to make his first suggested destination for the evening, Mari responds by clapping her hands together and beaming brightly.
"A chance to see the Puppy in his element~? Very well! The Birthday King has made his decision, and so it shall be! Lead the way, young liege, and we will follow~!"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
There's just no competing with Mari's faces. Or with how Mari just helps herself to his kitchenette in search of a knife.
She'll spot a quality wooden knife case in her search. It's the cooking knives that Asuka gave him as a present for his birthday several years ago. They were one of the few things he took with him when he left Misato's apartment, even though at the time they were heavy and impractical. For a long time, he used them every day for his job. Now...
Now they are clean and tucked away where they will no longer be used. Shinji can't bear to throw them out or give them away, but he can't bear to keep using them either. Not after that ill-fated conversation he and Asuka had only a few weeks ago.
Similarly, the conversation turns to Asuka and the things she's going through. Shinji's expression is bleak in its acceptance. "I know."
That's why he won't see her again.
Rei is of course going through her own things, but that's a little different. Shinji has a little hope left for her, still. Maybe one day she'll remember, and he can properly apologize to her and return her book to her.
For now, Kaworu shares that glance with Mari. Both of them once lived with Rei Ayanami; now, neither of them do. Shinji knows that well, and so when Mari doesn't mention Rei and doesn't ask what he thought of The Happy Prince and Other Tales even though he can see in her eyes that she wants to, he assumes it's out of consideration for Kaworu's feelings. He lets it slide too. It was hard enough for him--for both of them--being there with Rei and Ritsuko. Shinji doesn't want to hurt him more.
He does laugh a little at Mari's grandiose proclamation. If nothing else, she's still exactly the same. Kaworu, too. That's reassuring in its own way. Shinji gives them both a small smile, taking them in...
...They really do look the same as when they were all in school.
How can things change so much and yet so little?
"It's true," Kaworu says then, which startles Shinji until he continues, "Even the same places and the same experiences can feel fresh and new when you're with a dear friend."
Shinji's smile reasserts itself. "This way, then," he says, grabbing his keys off a hook on the wall next to the door. He'll lock up behind them, then guide them to the mess hall where he works as an assistant cook. It's not far away at all--only a five minute walk. He points out various things and people to the two of them, including at least one person who would look awfully familiar with both Kaworu and Mari--a dark-skinned, serious woman named Sumire Nagara, who's apparently on her way to breakfast too. She gives the three of them a deadpan nod of acknowledgement, but otherwise seems content to mind her own business.
'Seems' does a lot of heavy lifting there though, considering she's an agent from Section 2. But Kaworu doesn't remark on it, and Shinji of course doesn't know. To the best of his knowledge, she's part of the Ra Mari II's bridge crew.
Once actually at the mess hall, there's a good number of people there already, chatting, eating, and so on. Shinji is greeted by the kitchen crew with pleased surprise, and they greet Kaworu and Mari in turn. They don't wish him a happy birthday, and Shinji doesn't mention that it's his birthday either. Shinji will go on to make food for himself, Mari, and Kaworu, with the assistance of his kitchen assistant/emotional support Haro, Bud; it doesn't take long, and a short while later, they'll have a table to their own to eat.
It's good food, too. Shinji has a spinach, cheese, and ham omelet; Kaworu has egg on rice; and Mari will have whatever egg-based dish she may have requested.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
I know.
Mari regards that bleak expression painting Shinji's slightly too-youthful features for a few unreadable seconds.
"Hmmm."
That she muses like this while twirling one of those pilfered knives between her fingers with dangerous dexterity does not even remotely undercut the moment, of course.
Really, it's a minor, frightening miracle she hasn't cut herself or anyone else the way that blade knife keeps flashing back and forth and how little attention she actually seems to pay to the process that can't be helpful for the stress of anyone possibly prone to anxiety BUT
the important thing is she HASN'T cut herself or anyone else
yet.
Shinji, no doubt, still has his own guilt regarding Rei too. Mari can only imagine how much worse it will get; still, there's not a single observation or comment spared in pondering his encounter with her former roommate. Maybe it's odd that she of all people doesn't seem inclined towards curiosity about her Vanilla Bean. But, of course, the obvious answer is there: she's just sparing Kaworu's feelings.
Whether that's something someone like Mari would really feel inclined to do, though, is another question entirely.
One that doesn't get much time to really even be questioned as Mari moves smoothly on to the beginning of their birthday adventure. When the decision is made, Mari gestures at Kaworu with energetic enthusiasm as he agrees with her. She's gesturing with the -knife-, of course, waving the pointy end at him this way and that in a 'see? see??' kind of gesture, but it's STILL OKAY, as she has YET to carve anyone up on accident, despite literally -everything she does with the knife suggesting she rightly should have by now- (up to and including just kind of casually flipping it through the air and holding out her palm to somehow let it land handle-first instead of blade-first into her palm every. single. time--).
Fortunately, it stops being a worry after a certain point; for, as they decide to head off, she casually tosses the knife HIGH into the air tablewards--
--and then pincers the flat of the blade between her forefinger and thumb seconds before it can make messy collision with that boxed cake before she lays it quite comfortably down on the table to await their return.
With that, Mari follows off after Shinji, taking her time to truly appreciate the sights and people of the Ra Mari II (how could she NOT? it's only by some twist of miraculous fate that she hasn't started staking claim to the ship as its OBVIOUS namesake), offering little greetings in various languages to the people they pass.
She does for the serious woman named Sumire Nagara, too, hardly even missing a beat as she passes her by with a, "Enchante, enchante~"
The only extra addition is a blown kiss.
"Bonne journee~"
At the mess hall, Mari is still as enthusiastic as ever, wiggling her fingers in eager greetings to the people. It's only when they come to the kitchen crew that she pauses at how they greet Shinji. Happy, but...
No birthday wishes or greetings spared.
Mari tilts her head to the side for a few seconds, looking from them, to Shinji, and then to Kaworu.
"Hmmm."
It's a thoughtful, eyebrow-lifting look that doesn't last long as time comes for their orders. Mari's is, of course, in keeping with Mari.
"Uitsmijter, if you please~."
She started the day in Dutch, after all. It feels only fitting she continues the theme.
(she'll even offer a basic rundown of the recipe for the open-face egg-and-ham sandwich, if needed; how she has so much knowledge on a vast array of topics might be mystifying... to anyone who has never seen the harrowing horrors of her average living space)
Once they're settled, though, Mari happily digs in to her meal. If food becomes unnecessary, then it becomes a luxury; it's the approach she takes, at least, in how she savors the meal. But it's as she's enjoying herself that she strikes up the conversation again, suddenly but cheerfully:
"It looks like you've been making friends, Puppy Boy," she observes between bites.
"Do they know it's your portentous day?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It's not NOT something Mari would feel inclined to do. She can be discreet! Sometimes! Which only highlights the times when she isn't discreet as something she actively chooses to do.
Thaaaaaat's Mari.
As is the part where she has picked up a knife and is GESTICULATING it, but fortunately for Shinji's heart she neither stabs nor slices anyone, and soon they're on their way to getting breakfast and the only one who'll be holding a knife anymore is him.
Kaworu does smile back at her when she tosses, then precisely catches, then gently lays down that knife for later cake-cutting.
Sumire gives Mari a long look at her greeting and blown kiss. Ultimately, she opts not to take the bait, because she's a professional.
When they're in the kitchen--
"Uhh... what... is that...?" Shinji wonders. He looks to Kaworu for help, but Kaworu can only shrug; he's become learned about curry, but other types of foods are largely beyond him.
Thankfully, Mari does end up explaining and giving a recipe for him to follow. Shinji completes it, seasons their meals, and serves them up, digging into his omelet in silence once they're all at a table. It's a comfortable silence, one where he can simply exist without worrying.
He pauses, though, when Mari asks about the others. He chews, chews, swallows. "I don't know. I don't think so," he admits. "I don't really talk about myself much here. Everyone's very nice, just... I don't know. I don't like talking about the past."
"That's why we talk about the present," Kaworu adds. "Shinji-kun doesn't tend to like huge celebrations, anyway." That was something he had underscored to him painfully a few years back.
"It isn't a big deal," Shinji adds, though he does set down his fork and knife for a moment. "A lot of people gave me presents for my fifteenth birthday, and it was really kind of everyone, but... Most of those presents spent a long time at Misato-san's place. And before that, my stuff spent a lot of time at my teacher's old place. Even now, a lot of my things are just taking up space in my closet. I feel bad about it, but... I guess I've grown out of needing a lot of stuff."
Or he's simply gotten too used to having to leave all but a very few things behind.
Still, he gives Mari and Kaworu a small smile that reaches his eyes. "A cake and some good friends are enough for me now."
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Discretion is a thing exercised judiciously.
The less likely it seems that you're capable of exercising subtlety, after all, the less likely it is that people will expect you capable of it.
This might seem like a cunning tactic on Mari Makinami's part, but really.
It's (mostly) happy accident.
It's a state of mind that she quite emphatically employs, however: for example, the way she whistles out her happy appreciation for her expertly crafted, open-face Dutch sandwich when it's delivered to her, or the way she just immediately digs in with a delighted
"nomf~!" <3
that is equally immediately follows up with a pleased full-body wiggle as she gulps down that first bite of food. You can practically see the hearts in her eyes.
"Heerlijk!"
See? Who would ever suspect her of subtlety and discretion??
Still -- her theatrics are all painfully sincere, of course, which might be the worst part of all, depending on who you are. It doesn't stop her from setting down her fork and knife and leaning forward as Shinji and Kaworu speak of the former's preference towards privacy -- or at least, towards smaller scale celebrations. Her elbows settle on the tabletop, her chin resting on the bridge of her hands as she regards Shinji with a thoughtful eye.
"Hummmmm," she muses, before a smile dances across her lips. "Noted! I've learned a critical piece of Puppy Knowledge today. It's nice when you get gifts on other people's birthdays, don't you think~?"
The amused curl of her lips is matched by the little wink she offers Shinji, before that bespectacled blue gaze slides sidelong towards Kaworu.
"It seems the Puppy shares that in common with the Cat. Who knew two very different beasts could share so much in common?" She leans in, the teasing air in her expression mounting. "Could this be what they call 'star-crossed love'~?"
Because, well.
She's Mari. And if there's one thing that's true of Mari...
... she's as prone to torturous teasing as she is wonderful wingwomanship.
So why not combine two of her most prominent traits into one?
After this playful offering, however, she returns to her food; carving off another chunk of bread, ham, egg and cheese, she brings it to her lips, pausing on the precipice to regard Shinji as he talks about a life defined by how often it has left behind the 'stuff' in it. She regards him, carefully. And then, she plops that food in her mouth, chews ("mmm mmmm~!"), swallows, and suddenly remarks:
"So! Birthday quiz for the birthday pup: cake and friends are fine and dandy, but besides that, what gift does our Puppy Boy want the most?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji would!
...but he's absolutely questioning that by now. Maybe it's just that she doesn't want to talk to him about Rei. Which... he wouldn't blame her for.
At least it's nice to see her digging in to what he made her with such gusto and delight. He watches her for a short bit with a faint smile, then digs into his own omelet. Kaworu's meal--really anyone could make egg on rice. It's just a bowl of rice with a raw egg cracked on top and stirred. Still, it's nice to see him eating that too. Shinji knows Kaworu doesn't eat in front of others often, and it's gratifying to see him enoying something he made too. Even if it is something anyone could make.
"Is that really a gift?" he wonders to Mari, this time managing to take her wink in stride. "Well, knowing you, I'm sure it is... You've always been weird like that." (He means that in the nicest way possible.)
He's less able to take what she says next in stride. Shinji knows that Kaworu doesn't like his birthday--and no wonder, having been born on the day of Second Impact--and he knows they have a lot in common that wouldn't be apparent on the surface--but Mari's talk of 'star-crossed love' gets him to nearly choke on a piece of ham. He does still cough into a hand and manages to swallow his mouthful before stammering, "M-Makinami-san!!"
But Kaworu is still smiling. That's no shock--it's possible to get him to stop smiling, but it's rare in Shinji's experience--but the way he's looking at him... Shinji feels his face heat. He can't even claim that Kaworu isn't like that, because he explicitly knows he is like that, thanks to his dating Gridman for a time. More to the point, is it even 'like that' if Kaworu doesn't even think of himself as a boy in the first place, and only goes along with being called a boy because it doesn't matter to him how others see him? Something that's near unthinkable to Shinji, and as he's reminded of it, he's overcome with admiration for Kaworu all over again...
...Is Shinji like that?
He doesn't know. He's not sure. He only knows that his heart has broken into a sprint, seeing that wistful, wholly sincere affection in his best friend's eyes, in his smile.
But then Shinji thinks of Asuka, and his gaze drops along with his mood. "...I think I've had enough of star-crossed love for a while, thanks," he mumbles.
Kaworu's own gaze dims. But he resumes eating along with Mari, and so does Shinji.
Soon enough, the topic changes again. Shinji blinks at the unnumbered Child, nonplussed. "Huh? I just said I don't want anything."
"It doesn't need to be a thing," Kaworu points out. "It could be an experience instead. Something to remain in your heart, wherever you go."
"It sounds so poetic when you say it, Kaworu-kun," Shinji remarks, wistful himself now. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."
And if he did think about it, it would just hurt--because the experiences he cherishes the most are the ones he's had with the other Children. Like that time at the beach, or that time up in the mountains... But he knows, or at least is convinced, that's not ever going to happen again.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Is that really a gift?
"Knowledge is the greatest gift of all, young pup," says Mari Makinami Illustrious, with all the zen wisdom of Buddha on the mountain.
"And knowledge of people is the greatest knowledge of all. You can spend a lifetime observing a single person, and never know everything there is to know about them. You can spend a lifetime observing a single person and never even get a single piece of insight at all!
"Who wouldn't treasure every kernel, then?"
See, for example: the way that Shinji reacts to her sly remarks on star-crossed soulmates. It's not precisely a gift for -her-; after all, she knows exactly how he might react. But...
For him?
Knowledge is a great gift.
Even if sometimes it hurts.
It's why she can take the downturn his flustered state takes when he stumbles upon a particular memory in stride -- and why she doesn't look particularly concerned when the mood dips for Shinji and Kaworu both. It's not unexpected -- but it's also okay. The hurt is as important as the joy. She just smiles a slight, understated smile, expression softening just a touch at Shinji's mumbled words.
"Mm," she exhales, but says nothing more on that subject. At least, for now.
Instead, she deftly switches the subjects just before either of their moods can reach their nadir; chewing on a piece of her breakfast, she swivels her wrists about in a full one hundred and eight degree rotation until the index finger of one hand and the fork she holds in the other are pointing Kaworu's way when he clarifies her question for Shinji. "Bingo!" she announces. "Some of the most precious keepsakes in life are the ones we keep close to our hearts. Sometimes they're not even the things we expected we ever needed in our life. And sometimes the value of a physical gift is in the emotional response it inspires in us."
She tilts her head. She considers Shinji thoughtfully. And as he confesses his uncertainty, a reassuring smile blooms on Mari's lips. The bespectacled, unnumbered Child chews on another piece of food before setting her fork down and announcing:
"Then that's your birthday assignment!"
A-assignment?? Can someone be drafted into work on their birthday?! That's illegal--!
"You haven't thought about it. Now's your opportunity to. So seize it! Whatever answer you come to, you don't even have to share with us." The look she offers Shinji is a surprisingly serious one as she leans over the table.
"All that matters is that you find it for yourself, not for anyone else."
Maybe it'll hurt.
But hurt is okay too, sometimes.
It reminds us of what we don't want to lose, after all.
"In the meantime... what's up next on the itinerary, after our delicious birthday breakfast~?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Indeed," Kaworu chimes in after Mari, abot the value of a physical gift being how it stirs one's heart. His eyes crinkle a bit as his smile deepens. "One of the best gifts you've ever given me was the time when you came to my apartment with your cello."
It wasn't the cello itself that meant so much. It was the fact that he and Shinji got to play together this time around at last. Shinji, too, understands that, as he gives him another small smile and nods once to him and Mari both. He still doesn't really have an idea of what he would ask for, but--
Then that's your birthday assignment!
"What?" he blurts out. "But I don't--I mean--that's not--!"
But she leans over, serious-faced despite her Mariness, and bids him think about what he wants. Something to find for himself, not anyone else. He bows his head to stare at his half-empty plate.
"Hm... I'll show you two around town, then," he says, looking up at them. "I haven't wandered around much myself... at least, not until lately. And there's been a lot of new places opening up recently. I went to a new open market recently... Or maybe it wasn't new. Maybe it was just new to me. But... it'd be good to get more familiar with the place."
He smiles an ironic little smile as he slowly cuts another slice of omelet to eat. "I should get to know the place where I live."
Only after returning to Tokyo-3 has it really sunk in that this is his home now. He might only have quarters aboard the Ra Mari II, which isn't necessarily docked at Magallanica 24/7, but it's where he's settled down. Tokyo-3 brings him a variety of bittersweet feelings, but going back let him face his feelings--now, at last, on his own terms, instead of being forced into it by a selfish adult--instead of trying to bury them. Even if things went poorly with Asuka and Rei, at least he got some semblance of closure. At least they're alive. He might not be happy, but he does have a small measure of peace now compared to before.
"The biggest construction has been in the central squares..."
And so, after finishing off breakfast, Shinji guides Mari and Kaworu off the ship and into the colony proper. It really is a lively place and growing livelier as more and more immigrants and refugees arrive. It's lively, with plenty of electronic billboards, businesses, people walking the streets, and so on. The main street through the colony has plenty of businesses for them to poke their noses into--restaurants, snack shops, laundromats, boutiques, electronics stores, pawn shops, sundries stores, music stores, and more--and even if Shinji only window-shops, there's a pleasure in looking at things. He shares an earbud with Kaworu at the music store, even, so they can listen to a recently released album together. Kaworu buys it for himself--an SDAT version, for him to play on the SDAT player that was once Shinji's. It's on him now, though he hasn't brought attention to it.
After that, it's starting to get late, so as Shinji's behest, they head to a park together. It's spacious, and with the digital sun starting to set, empty. He stops at a bench near the center and sits there; Kaworu sits on one side, and there's space enough on the other for Mari.
"Thanks for today, you two. It was nice to just walk around with company," Shinji tells them. "We didn't get to see everything, but Tohji and Kensuke will be there this weekend, so I'll go out again with them, I think." He pauses. "But about what you were saying before, Makinami-san... I did think of something." He pauses. "You see, there's something I've noticed... None of us look much older compared to back in the day, do we? Not me, not you two, not Asuka or Ayanami. Maybe it's just my imagination... Eizen looked a lot older than the rest of us, for example... but still. It's weird." He pauses again. Pauses. Pauses.
"And I wondered if either of you two had an idea of why that would be?" he forces out quickly. Even then, he can't stop himself from adding, "I know there's a lot of secrets you have to keep, so if it's something you can't say, that's fine, especially since I'm not in NERV anymore, but if there's something else going on with Asuka and Ayanami--some other reason why they're suffering--some reason why you two might be suffering--I want to know about it. I know I abandoned you all, so maybe I have no right to ask this, but... that's what I want. To know. I-if that's all right."
Kaworu listens to all of this. Then he shares a glance with Mari. "..."
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
The Mandate of Mari has been made known.
It cannot be denied.
This is of course a part of her vast magical power. But also:
Once an idea is planted in someone's head, it's terribly hard to -not- think about it, isn't it?
Despite the casual way she imparts that sense of gravity, though, she transitions into more typical Mari moods with jarring, breakneck ease. As soon as Shinji offers his suggestion, the bespectacled agent is pounding her fist gavel-style into her waiting palm, blue eyes practically sparkling with enthusiasm.
"Then it's decided! We'll discover everything new in Magallanica" maybe not -everything- but this is Mari and it's going to be up to someone else to curb her unending enthusiasm "and be proper inspired and horrified by its infinite possibilities~!"
Yes. She knows the slogan of Unicorn. Be afraid at her ability to take it -deathly serious-.
She takes her time to savor the rest of her Dutch dish. She does the same, too, on their Magallanican-wide tour. She takes -every- detour she can - yes, even to the laundromat - and takes in everything with a wide-eyed wonder and inquisitive energy, eager to ask questions and chat up anyone who happens to be willing to accept an extremely sociable stranger intruding on their day. She samples goods. Her own purchased sundries are many and varied (the vast majority, of course, are books).
There's more than one point in various boutiques that she forces fashion choices onto Shinji, including a wide array of increasingly absurd hats and one pair of gag sunglasses that read out 'SPACE!'
By the time they reach the park Mari's collection of shopping bags are a thing of nightmares. The labyrinth that is her library of books is only going to become more mind-bending, now.
She watches the sun set, though; even if it's a fake sun, it has a beauty all its own, one that she appreciates for its own merits. One long leg crosses over them other, her packages abandoned for the moment so that she might clasp her hands behind the back of her head. She keeps watching that sunset as Shinji speaks, only interjecting with a sing-sung, "That it was impossible to see everything at once just makes it even more worthwhile! Like delayed gratification~."
... so maybe it's best that Shinji suddenly finds himself pivoting to other, more serious topics.
... I did think of something.
"Oho? Spill the beans, birthday pup!"
None of them look much older compared to back in the day. Not them. Not Asuka or Rei. Not Shinji.
Do they?
"Goodness me. You found quite the question, didn't you?"
Blue eyes catch red ones in the moment of silence that follow Shinji's addendum. For a long time, Mari is thoughtful. Her hands unlace from the back of her head...
... and suddenly, Shinji will find her shoulder bumping his.
It's abrupt. It's surprising.
And it's the precursor to an even -more- audacious invasion of personal space as she rests her cheek on the top of his head, as if to quietly emphasize the height difference between them.
And the fact that he hasn't grown at all.
"Hum."
Mari exhales, slowly. And then...
"You -don't- have a right to know."
She says that simply. Calmly. Matter-of-factly.
"That's how it is. It's not your place to know."
And her voice takes on a more pointed tone as she asks that next, critical question:
"Will that stop you from trying to find out, Puppy Boy?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji probably ended up carrying some of those many bags. Kaworu, too. They're carefully set down next to the bench. Shinji posits what he wants for his birthday. Kaworu glances at Mari. And Mari... lays her head down on Shinji's.
"U-um..." Although this is thoroughly typical Mari behavior, Shinji doesn't know how to react to it, only blinking rapidly. Something else cuts through this confusion, though: Mari's flat, direct refusal.
And even though it was Shinji himself who suggested he might not have a right to know, and Mari is merely agreeing with him, he frowns, eyebrows furrowing. "Wait. How is it not my place to know? It's affecting me too!" He assumes. But it's something all five of them have in common, isn't it? If Eisen, Alloy, and Zoia were still here, maybe he could see if it was still the case with those three--though Eisen always looked older compared to the rest of them, so again, maybe it is just his imagination--but even so, the fact that it's all five of them suggests that something weird is going on.
And the fact that Mari is acknowledging that it's something he doesn't have a right to know suggests that he's not wrong about that. That he's not imagining it. That there is something there.
"Stuff about Asuka, Ayanami, you two--fine. I can accept it's none of my business." Even if that statement lies bitter on his tongue. "But what about for me? If something is--stunting my growth, affecting my health, whatever, why wouldn't I have a right to know about it? Even if I'm not piloting anymore? It's not fair otherwise! Something like that, I should've been told while I was still in NERV!"
"Shinji-kun..." Kaworu murmurs.
"I get that you all have secrets you can't talk about. I get that you can't talk about other people's secrets when they aren't here. But you could at least tell me about the things about me!" Shinji reiterates.
Because if that's something they have in common, then knowing that much might give him some kind of insight--and if he isn't going to give up trying to find out, then he needs to find out as much as he can from people who actually know. Who else is he going to ask?
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Mari agrees. And Shinji--
Shinji protests.
There's a certain irony in that. In how his immediate reaction is to balk at the very idea he put forth. Maybe that's the point: maybe agreeing with him just helps to underline and emphasize what he said, to make him really think about it. Mari says nothing either way; she says not a peep, in fact, as Shinji finds himself growing more and more frustrated the more he talks, the more he feels that basic premise simply isn't right.
It's only as he reaches the end of that impassioned proclamation that the corners of her lips curl into a little smile.
"So you -do- think you deserve to know."
Mari's arm looks to sling around his shoulders. It squeezes, in an affectionate, supportive gesture.
"'Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly,'" she quotes, staring out at the colony horizon. "You -did- leave this all behind, and with that, you left behind the answers too. It's true. That's part of what moving on from something means, boyo: it's not -your- problem. But... does that mean you should accept that?"
She lets the silence linger there for a second, before she adds:
"Of course not. This is a better look for you, Puppy Boy. You should learn to be honest with yourself more often. Especially on your birthday."
None of this, of course, is an answer to the basic question this all started with. But... Mari offers one last glance Kaworu's way, before her lips part, and the next thing she has to say comes in a quiet murmur.
"So, here you go. A birthday gift for you, for being so candid:
"The answer to your question is in the Evangelions."
Not an answer.
A direction.
A direction to take for someone unwilling to accept the unfairness of life.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
For a certain type of person, it's easier to deny the cold things others say than the cold things one says to oneself. In having Mari mirror his negative self-talk back at him, Shinji finally can recognize it for what it is and reject it--even if he does so reflexively, instinctively, rather than thinking it through.
(It's something Kaworu wouldn't have been able to do for him, being caught up in his own similar thought traps. Only Mari would be able to turn Shinji's thinking on his head for him. For that, Kaworu is grateful.)
So when Mari only smiles and comments on the obvious, Shinji hesitates. While he hesitates, Mari slips an arm around his shoulders, while Kaworu leans on him from his other side. Mari offers more wisdom in the form of a quote and a simple truth. Shinji falls silent to consider it. He already knew it intellectually, and he said he understood, but... it's true. There's something in him that doesn't want to accept it. Talking to Asuka and Rei settled some things for him emotionally, but in turn set him on a new course. If he turns away from that course... then he really will lose his connection to the people he loves.
His fingers curl into his palms.
Kaworu and Mari exchange that glance, and Mari offers Shinji his birthday present: that the answer he seeks is in the Evangelions. Quietly, Kaworu offers his own gift: "You were shown what lies in Terminal Dogma because you were an Evangelion pilot. The truths there aren't ones casually shared. Had you rejected your father's summons, you may have avoided suffering, but you would not have learned that truth, either. What's more, you may have left NERV, and Commander Ikari may have activated the Dummy System, but the bond that you and Unit-01 share can't be severed by such mundane trifles. You are still her pilot."
For a moment, Shinji says nothing as he absorbs these statemets.
Then: "Thank you... Makinami-san, Kaworu-kun," he murmurs. He has a lot to think about. For now, though... "Let's head back."
To his room, for cake, he means.
But maybe, one day...
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
A mirror is the best way to see ourselves.
Sometimes, though, we need someone to hold it up.
The simple act helps Shinji to realize something. It helps him to commit to the question -- commit to his path. At least in the moment.
Who knows what the future may hold?
If nothing else, Mari is eager to see.
The numberless Child's smile just grows into something of feline pleasure as Kaworu offers his own gift to add onto her own. Not answers, but advice. Not answers -- but direction. And more importantly...
... support. It's, perhaps, the best and only gift they can offer Shinji on his birthday -- on this day where he creeps closer to adulthood, to finding his own feet beneath him.
So when he offers his gratitude, Mari just sings out an, "You're most welcome, birthday king~" in response. She pats his shoulder encouragingly with her hand -- and then slips away, stretching alllll the way up onto her feet with one smooth motion. At the end of it, her left arm falls.
"Righty-o! Tabby Cat! Puppy Boy! Grab my bags! Time to end this day off on a high note~!"
And the right extends out to Shinji as she turns to face him, in offering to help him up onto his feet with a bright and warm smile.
"Happy Birthday, Shinji-kun."
Cake today. Celebration today.
Because who knows what tomorrow might bring?