2023-10-12: !we bear witnesS
- Log: !we bear witnesS
- Cast: Shari Loom, Yuliana Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2023-10-12
- Summary: Shari comes to check on Yuliana, and see how she's doing. They discuss Her will, and how its expression differs, between them; Yuliana shares Her feelings, with Shari, though she struggles more with Her words. But Shari notices Yuliana growing strange, and quickly finds an excuse to exit -- because Yuliana Sees Her, when Shari is near.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Shari Loom is in a pretty good mood today.
This is despite the horror portal to the Silent Castle, which is always a little bit (a lot) awful. But she doesn't have the resources to just make another Fold Drive instead. It's fine! Now, she walks through the castle, stopping one of the employees along the way.
"Hey," she says. "You seen Yuliana?" Pause. "If she's with her wife don't worry about it. I don't want to walk in on that..."
"But c'mon seriously."
Then she takes the tip she was given and wanders on!!
It's of course a cold day in Kaffeklubben, as usual. The castle is warm-ish, thanks to all the fires, but Shari's still wearing a nice coat with a fur fringe. The dark makeup is present, as always.
It's all fine!
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana is not, presently, with her wife. It's a valid concern -- Yuliana is frequently with her wife! -- but even Elisa has tasks she must see to, in the day.
And so, Yuliana... is in her gunpla cavern.
A tiger pads alongside Shari as she heads up to the devious South Wing, all bathed in Silence; Sokrova is very large, very green, and apparently quite friendly. The room where Yuliana keeps all her models is quickly filling with those models -- currently, she's working on putting together a ZZ Gundam, the mass-produced variety.
(Her materials aren't mass-produced, though. She doesn't buy them in a box. She's making them herself, with a 3D printer and tools to shape metal.)
She puts down her brush, though, waving her hands and the frills behind her ears -- "Oh, no no no, the cat can't come in here!!" -- while Sokrova chuffs, tail wagging, incriminating himself behind Shari. "No, no, Sokrova, last time you came in here you knocked over everything, you can't be following people in here!!" Setting everything down in a hurry, she hurries out, grasping Shari's hands in the process.
"Oh, do excuse him, he's such a naughty kitty sometimes -- shall we go to the sitting room, dear? I can't have the cat in my model room!" Oh, is that what she's calling them?
Well, she leads Shari into a nearby room which could be anywhere in the Castle, really -- one of those countless sitting rooms equipped with fainting couches, just in case Yuliana needs to faint. Sokrova, of course, jumps onto the fainting couch first, ears all perked up for when Yuliana sits beside him. "Honestly!" She exclaims, as she gives him a good rub between his broad ears.
Luckily, there's plenty of places to sit in here. And there's a fireplace crackling here, too!
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
It's Quiet down here. Shari doesn't really mind that.
She also doesn't mind, "Oh hey buddy." Shari reaches down to rub behind Sokrova's ears. "Nice to see you."
But then there is Yuliana, found, and--
"Ah?"
Models! Well that's nice. Shari lets herself be escorted Away from the models as she says, "Sure, sitting room works for me." It could be anywhere, but it's here. And Shari walks in after woman and tiger, moving to take a seat too.
"Cool models," she says. "I don't do a lot of those..."
She trails off, and then, "It's good that you're up to stuff. I was a little worried after... all that. How you were doing, and stuff."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Sokrova chuffs, entirely chuffed to hang out about Shari. He's a friendly cat! Man-eating tiger. Anyway.
Which explains why Yuliana drapes an arm over him, when she sits herself down. "It's rather a new occupation," she explains, though there were enough models in there that she's definitely been doing them for a while, "but one of our lovely associates switched me on to them when I was first recovering -- Ujico, you know?" Shari's interning with them, so there's no need to fuss about opsec here.
She laughs, though, scratching Sokrova behind one of his big ears. "Ah, no -- I was asleep a few days, but Elya took care of me, and I'm fine now." Shari is also part of the family, which means Yuliana doesn't shy away from using familial nicknames around her. "Why, I even went on a milk run to drop off some supplies just yesterday!" She's not going out today, though, judging by the black robes she's dressed in. The only time she'd go outside in those is for a Silent Calling speaking event.
"But goodness -- you were worried about me?" Yuliana's smile grows sly and teasing, wriggling her fingers. "You must be careful, Sharochka, or I'll suspect you of experiencing a feeling."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Sokrova's nice! And very cute. Shari hasn't ever seen him eat someone!
"Ohhhh yeah," Shari answers. "I see. Well, that's cool." Shari is pretty good at opsec, as it happens. She's not the one who went around revealing names at the mission!
"Oh." Shari's used to the nicknames; even she uses 'Elisa' instead of 'Dr. Kafim'. "Already getting out, huh? I guess that's like you. You don't really do being cooped up for that long, huh?"
That's what she thinks, anyway. Shari does not go for the Silent Calling robes, herself--even if they would be warm.
"What???" Shari complains, making a sour face. "I'm a goth, I have like, all the feelings," Shari huffs. "You were super ranting and stuff. I mean, so was I, I guess."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Sokrova has, of course, never eaten a man. Would you doubt this face? Look at him! Lookitim! Cutie BABIE!
"Would that I were better at it!" Yuliana exclaims, when Shari talks about how she takes being cooped up. "But I can't stand idleness, I suppose." It's why her wife has to occupy her so often. Did you know they go ice skating?
Silent robes are very warm; perhaps that's why Yuliana wears them so often, these days. It's more Elisa's style of clothing than her own, but that's fine.
"Hmhmhm," Yuliana chuckles, at Shari's complaints. Her fingers veil her lips as she laughs -- the usual gesture of modesty -- and they press to her cheek, when her laughter fades. "Mmm... but you saw that, did you...?"
She tilts her head into her hand, gaze tracking aside to the crackling fireplace. "I was possessed of Her will," she explains, after a moment's thought. "So I could not have spoken easily. And you... you also knew Her, then. Do not be afraid," she smiles, serene, endless gaze coming back to settle on Shari again. (She used to have pupils. But now...) "This is a blessing, Sharochka."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"I don't do so great with having nothing to do either," Shari admits, a commonality between her and Yuliana. Good thing there aren't too many of those. Right?
Yuliana laughing is nice, anyway; it's a lot better than Yuliana shooting or ranting. It's... almost nice. "I did," she says.
"Her will, huh..." Shari pronounces the capital just as much as Yuliana does. She knows. "Yeah. When the Voice gets loud, and everything else seems fuzzy..." She trails off.
"People like that... It gets worse around them." Pause. "Or I mean, louder."
She is dubious about a 'blessing', but not inclined to say that. "...Do you hear Her more now? That your eyes have gone all... like that?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Surely this is one of the only things Yuliana and Shari have in common. Surely!
Sokrova pushes his head into Yuliana's shoulder, seeing her grow vague in the face of these questions; she looks down to him, and smiles, scritching his ruff. "They're awful," she agrees, of those people.
And she is occupied with petting her very large cat, as she considers Shari's next question. "Yes," she says, at length, "but it didn't... begin, when the Institute did this to me. It was..." She pauses, gazing at her green tiger. "Before-- before, I knew Her only in the transgressions of the Awakened, or -- or when I was deprived of my earthly senses. She was there, of course, She was with me, but... I did not feel Her so easily. But..."
Yuliana pauses. "I think it must have been... over a year ago, now. Near the beginning of '96, or perhaps closer to its middle... I don't know. But I started... um, I started to dream. Oh, that sounds mad, doesn't it?" Her voice grows a shade despairing, frills wilting behind her ears. (Elsewhere in the Castle, the psychic noise of the world picks up again with the lowering of those tendrils -- but not this close to Yuliana.) "But it wasn't like my nightmares. It was... frightening, of course, but it was... there, I was with Her. I remember, one night, I woke and I couldn't fathom why such a thing would happen... I remember looking at those crystals Elya gave me to wear, and I, just..."
She doesn't connect one thought to another, though -- that she started having these dreams because she was exposed to the Green Fold, darkened by her own power.
Yuliana quiets, for a moment, rather than finish her sentence, as Sokrova sniffs at her face. (She chuckles, a shade hollow, and thonks her forehead into his.) "Ah," she sighs, looking back up to Shari, "but now, you see, I am in audience with Her almost every night, when I slumber. That is... why I slept so long, you see, after that fight. She demanded my presence... it must be easier to reach me, when I'm not conscious. Her works... are easier to enact upon me, then. And more receptive am I to Her will, without the din of this world in my ears."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Surely.
"Yeah?" Shari wonders. This is kind of dangerous territory; she doesn't usually inquire any closer into matters concerning Her, or matters concerning Yuliana, for that matter. But now she's asked, so she might as well listen. "Hm..."
To dream. Her tone is despairing, and Shari shakes her head. "I don't think it sounds crazy." Well, it does. But is it crazy, if the Voices are real? Shari doesn't think it might be.
Shari makes the connection, though--what Elisa does with her crystals... Was Leina right, maybe? ...Nah.
"Oh... Yeah, that makes sense. The world is distracting. And there's a lot of Stuff here that would get in the way." Like... things got in the way when Shari was dealing with those robots. "...I don't usually dream about Her," Shari says. "Not usually, anyway. Or like, if I do, it's not Her, it's just my ideas about Her. If that makes sense. I think, anyway."
"...But sometimes She gets louder. Usually when She wants something, I guess."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"It's different," Yuliana agrees, "when they're your own ideas. When I'm just dreaming on my own merits... ah, well, they're nightmares, truth be told. But it's different... you know, Her influence, all those medical things, they're very different." Before She visited her so often, Yuliana's mind dwelled on Medical's ministrations; it is a mercy, perhaps, that Yuliana no longer has to fear those nightmares when she sleeps.
It is a mercy.
But...
Yuliana frowns, grasping at her arm with her hand, crossing her core in the process. "She... demands this of you?" She ventures, and as much as she would like to reassure Shari, she finds herself sounding uncertain. She knows little, after all, of Shari's own connection. "... say, Sharochka... does She... change you, under Her sight?" It's a nicer word, perhaps, than unmaking and remaking.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"Yeah," Shari agrees. "I dunno how, but I can tell the difference." She listens. The nightmares... "You've been through a lot," Shari says, and Yuliana if she squints might imagine Shari actually gives a shit about that. "But yeah, totally different." She's sure.
But--
"Yeah," the younger of the two answers. "Usually it's when it's time to give Elisa some new tech, or when it's time to come repair yours. She just... makes it clear that I need to be Doing Something. It's hard to tell what She wants, but She gets quieter again once I've done it."
Pause. "...No, not really. She just demands."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yes," Yuliana agrees, vaguely. Of course Shari gives a shit! She's a good girl who cares about her family. And aren't they family?
But Yuliana frowns, as she listens to Shari's account. "Ah," she says, rubbing at her arm. "Of... of course. It is a blessing rarely shared." She smiles, faintly, to Shari. "Perhaps later, my dear. When you're better prepared." As if that mutilation is a gift.
"But... you are right," she sighs, and when Sokrova lifts a massive paw up to her she takes it in both her hands instead. "She does not ask. She is beyond such niceities. I do not struggle to know Her desires as much... but I am privileged to know Her heart. Haah... not to say it isn't difficult, sometimes, for me to comprehend... She is beyond you or I, after all, in all our mortality." In all their morality. "I'm fortunate Elya is with me... so frequently do I rave in madness, struggling to verbalise such things, but Elya has always been able to meditate on Her wisdom and make sense of it all."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
A blessing rarely shared... Does that mean it might change to be like that? Shari looks distant for a moment, staring through Sokrova rather than at Yuliana. "Y-yeah," Shari says. "Maybe later."
Will she ever be prepared for that? Does she want to be? Good thing nobody here is reading her mind.
"Yeah... you don't expect someone like Her to go asking for stuff." Privileged. "Right. Interpretation is hard. I can't do it, either; I just kinda... do everything I figure She'd want until it stops. And usually I manage to figure it out that way."
But Elisa... "Elisa helps me with that sometimes too," Shari says. "But it's not really the same. She's just more like 'Yeah I could use this thing or that thing'."
"...Nobody really listens when I start ranting. Except Parminder. He listens enough to make fun of it." Pause.
"Hey, do you think She prefers women in Her uh. servants?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"You're a clever girl," Yuliana smiles, faintly. (Shari didn't sound... enthusiastic, about that blessing, and it unsettles her, in the back of her mind. Anyway.) "And so resourceful... yes, sometimes I am able to follow Her will myself, as well, I suppose. When I lose myself to those desires... when I am moved by the Presence..."
Yuliana laughs, setting down Sokrova's paw in her lap. "Haha, look at how I sound...! But... it is intuitive, Sharochka. I can't deny that." Even if it makes her sound like one of those Newtypes.
Would it be better or worse, she wonders, if people paid no attention to the wisdom she received from Her?
She shakes her head, giving the tiger another scratch. "Letda is like that," she says, calling him her second Lieutenant. Military habits die hard. "Don't mind him. He quite likes you, in his way."
Yuliana pauses, though, as Shari asks that next question, looking intently at a place just past the girl's left shoulder. "Her preference..?" She wonders, vaguely, as her gaze shines.
"She abjures the masculine; in under Her gaze are all things soft and fair. Hers is the distaff arena, in its mysteries."
She laughs, again, her fingers veiling her lips. "She has been... pleased, of late, that my trousers are cut to my hips, and more often cede to my dresses. It is why the Calling's robes are so flattering, yes?" With that empress waist and carefully-shaped sleeves, it's difficult to mistake her robes for androgynous. "I'll admit sometimes I miss my suits, but... I've no need to dress that way any longer. If it's good, in Her eyes..."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"Thanks," Shari says. But she doesn't dwell on that. Resourceful! She'll take it. She does what she can, anyway. "...Yeah," Shari says. "You really go all-in."
Intuitive... like a 'Newtype'. Like a 'Cyber-Newtype', even. "Hey, sometimes stuff is intuitive."
But Parminder, of course. "Does he?" Shari says. "I mean, I thought so. But it's kinda hard to tell sometimes. On account of him being, you know."
But she wonders, about the preference. And as she hears it... There is a small part of Shari that is glad of her plan to get a boyfriend. A small part. She doesn't dwell on that. It would be dangerous to get snippy.
"I see... Yeah, I thought so. We talked about it once. Like how She doesn't seem to have any particular care about Parminder one way or the other. But then he's as intuitive as a brick, so."
She... prefers Yuliana femme? Well. Uh. "Well, it suits you," Shari says. "...I mean, the suits were cool too. But this is working for you, totally."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"He was that way ever since he came to me," Yuliana smiles, thinking of Parminder. "Really, he's just having a good time, having come out here to attack people and all."
OH NO, HIS JOKES HAVE INFECTED HER.
Yuliana tilts her head, though, when Shari talks about Her opinion on Parminder. "She cares little for the details of my entourage," Yuliana supposes, thoughtfully, "so long as they support me. Really, the only person She's ever acknowledged with any consistency and continuance is Elya, and..." Yuliana frowns, looking past Shari, again. "She has... a particular way of regarding her. I would say it is possessive, if not that... She always is that way." She's always possessive about Yuliana, anyway. "But then... we all are instruments of Her will, are we not?"
She smiles, her fingers coming to rest on her sleeve; she toys at the hem, absently. "So long as She is pleased," she supposes, "if She is pleased, it is good. It is working for me," she uses Shari's vernacular, a shade stilted, a touch strange. "It is not well when She is displeased, Sharochka. Her rage is a terrific thing! I cannot deny Her..." She's still smiling, though it's a little worn, in just the way her hem isn't. The stitching is finely-crafted and new. "I was so afraid, when I realised my understanding was insufficient, my comprehension incomplete. It was -- it was well, of course," she adds, quickly, "I had not twisted Her words, but I realised not the scope of Her desire! I never knew... She wanted those people under heel."
And she says this to Shari with no shred of irony.
She doesn't see it.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"...Heheh." Shari appreciates the joke. She gets it.
"I guess that makes sense," Shari says. "You and Elisa are the important ones, anyway. You're the ones who do... stuff." Lots of stuff. But possessive... Hmmm. "But like, more possessive, maybe?" Shari wonders. "But I guess that's true. We all do what She wants."
Yuliana smiles, and Shari smiles too, but it's not the hearty nice kind of smile. Instead, she listens... Her rage. Shari's familiar with that; she grimaces about it. But 'those people'...
Ah. Yeah.
"...Right," Shari says. "I guess so!!"
Pause. "Well anyway, I just wanted to check up and see if things were OK, and I guess they are, so..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"We are... closest," Yuliana agrees, carefully, when Shari says they're the most important people. "But not even I may defy Her. She is absolute."
She looks through Shari, all too distant, and somehow manages to meet her eyes anyway. Now, what she's looking at -- "You're leaving so soon?" Yuliana asks, with wide eyes. "But She will be has come here, Sharochka. Will you not bear witness?"
It always ends this way.
Perhaps that's why Elisa keeps them apart.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"...Yeah," Shari answers. She is absolute. But Yuliana agrees enough for her purposes, and then when Yuliana meets her eyes kind of, Shari has to resist a shudder. She has a feeling that she might be Hearing more when she gets out of Yuliana's range... But then, maybe not. This is what She'd want, right? Her to check in on Yuliana.
"Oh, I can only Witness a little," Shari says, "I've got a tooon of work to do. But thanks anyway!!"
Perhaps it is one of the reasons.
Shari stands up, and smiles, "Nice to see you gotta go!"
...if she shuffles a little fast, that's probably just because she's eager to get to work. Right?
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Oh," Yuliana says, and she sounds -- disappointed. "Oh, yes, of course... I would not wish to keep you from your tasks, dear." It's terribly lonely, and perhaps she even sounds lonely, watching Shari get up so quickly.
Or perhaps it's just a trick of the light.
"You be sure to treat Da Xukong right when you're reinforcing those legs!" She calls after her, still cognisant enough to be critical, but she doesn't stop her from leaving. No...
No, she is left to Her presence, alone. "Ah... as ever... I can offer the girl no guidance..." Yuliana murmurs, absently, and her gaze is drawn to a place above.
"Does this please You?" Yuliana wonders, and she buries her face in Sokrova's neck, hugging herself to the vast feline. He rumbles and chuffs, and has no answer for her -- though his fur, at least, is warm.
There Elisa will find her, draped on her fainting couch, guarded by her familiar feline. It's not unusual for her to be exhausted, after speaking with Shari too long; it's not difficult, still, to care for her.
Yuliana growing strange is just Yuliana's normal, isn't it?