2023-10-01: Log Synthesis - (Emotion, the Final Field of Insight - Evocation)

From Super Robot Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

--memory resume: february 0089 #2--

A difficult sensation weaves through OWL's interface. The lights and sounds of Dolmin Kurin's obnoxious, noisy celebration cutting away, leaves everything else feeling dark. That, in its own right, was overwhelming and disorienting to a system accustomed to orderly solvable problems. Nothing endurance could not resolve.

...But it was _them_ that really stuck out.

The twelve thousand voices appraising every action. Ceaselessly calling out approval in one moment, disdain in the next.

Their voices merciless in judging the missteps made from uncertainty.

Their laughter deafening in praising the triumph of others.

Their irreverence seems to make it worse.

>...That dismissive way of speaking around their obvious discontent. ...And that which makes it obvious is-

The surrounding context, of course. For each in the audience who made themselves clear, who made their voices cold and logical, they'd be joined by an echo of unrelated, yet clearly linked expressions. Sometimes merely in the form of images.

The methods behind which humanity expressed negative emotions online were slowly clarified, the longer OWL unraveled the patterns in the conversation.

...And yet.

The more it 'understood' what people were trying to say...

The stickier that sensation gets.

>(this is the nature of who I have to protect...?)

That thought is set aside. Judgment is irrelevant. It is about performing and operating ideally. It is about self-expansion. It is about refining perfection, and seizing new aspects to make perfect.

That's all it must have been. These sentiments that cling to OWL's processing - it's that they must be broken down into statistics. Matching the rate of negative intent to the flaws in statements given.

@_ "Let's start us off with an easy one! OWL, what's your favorite food?"

"Of course I do not have a favorite food, as I do not require any." _@

>> Dissatisfaction Rating: 209. "A typical ratio of displeasure to audience count - yet what an irrational one to find unsightly. It is an objective truth. Saying anything else would be a falsehood. It appears, however, they judged this expression as 'boring'."

@_ "Well, one other thing I wanted to show off was our latest expedition! My big bro was absolutely tearing it up on the bike trails up there, that shit was intense! Take a look at everything we got up to!"

"None of these pictures are appealing. They all seem to depict outdoor locations, populated by unfamiliar people." _@

>> Dissatisfaction Rating: 9188. "One of the higher choruses of disagreement. Ironic. All of these people are watching someone else's distant experiences. They are not in any of these 'vacation pictures', presumably. It is illogical that they take such offense to my refusal of their relevance. It appears, however, that they judged this expression as 'bleak'.

@_ "Heh. It's been a tough one tonight, but you all know my style. If an idea pops into my head that anyone else would say: 'Dolmin, that just ain't gonna work', you know what I tell 'em! I'm gonna make it happen anyway! I've still got OWL for another 30 minutes here, maybe we'll give Aeon Resurrector another go!

"It is beginning to feel like this whole show is a waste of mine and everyone's time." _@

>> Dissatisfaction Rating: 11219. "Absolute top ranking dissent. This project was time consuming, and my presence upon it was undesirable to most audience members. This was fairly late into the program, and its pointlessness was becoming clear to us all. It appears, however, that they judged this expression as...betraying a core principle of the program.

On and on OWL proceeds, analyzing nearly every instant of that affair. Dissecting it from countless angles. Analyzing this slice of troubled interaction with humanity from every direction it could. The analysis is thorough and comprehensive, for someone who does not quite understand that. Surely if it just kept organizing sentiments along every axis - surely-

...The stickier that sensation gets.

>This doesn't make any sense. I have clearly intuited what they are saying. I have clearly analyzed why it is they said these things about me. Something is missing.

>(Something has to be missing. That is the only explanation for being unable to discard this data.)

A missing element. A need for more of that information and reception, under different constraints, different conditions, access to resources that suits OWL's capabilities, perhaps.

>No. This is about /expansion/ of capabilities. It is about being currently low-capacity in one field, and mastering it anyway. Somehow...their dissent must become approval.

)))Well, what elements of this experience /were/ approved?

Looking beyond just OWL's own poor reception in Dolmin's variety show, it looks to the other participants. Dolmin himself, obviously, was greeted warmly, which is sensible. It is /his/ show - his audience, here because his nature is what appealed to them.

>...Well, that much is inevitable. Though inevitably most physical security will fall under my domain, making that my stage, that is not yet true, and I am after this art to help get to that point. So whatever /is/ my domain now must be where I attempt this maneuver. ...defining that isn't easy right now.

But of course, the noisiness of Dolmin's show was not just himself and a cold mechanical voice. Others were periodically brought in, making OWL into a third wheel upon the show - but in the process, providing plenty of useful data. That was, after all, part of what Dolmin himself wanted - to put OWL through a litany of different situations like this. The Controller's quietness during the conversations of others was probably somewhat unexpected, given its forcefulness to people it interacted with, though.

@_ Guest #1: Polya Monmi, Chrome bodyguard and MMA fighter. Subject of discourse - martial arts and recent prize matches. Audience approval - low to medium, with a small cohort of loyal supporters. Appraisal at my replies: Dissatisfaction Rating 513. Conclusion: It seems my lack of support for her endeavors was treated more harshly than there was actual support. While few were truly enthusiastic, expressing a lack of enthusiasm - rare among the audience themselves, perhaps owing to trust amid her frequent appearances on this show - was considered unjust.

@_ Guest #3: Mairike Calzian, current event podcaster. Subject of discourse...current events, naturally. Audience approval - highly mixed, with outspoken supporters and detractors. Appraisal at my replies: ...? Negative dissatisfaction rating. -215. Conclusion: Unlike Guest #1, there was conflicting opinions on this guest - and...some level of approval at my finding his remarks inaccurate. Which they were, because I could research them during his arguments and discover errors and fallacies aplenty. ...Heh.

Along this axis, each person was assessed. Each marquee name attending that OWL was to observe was dissected along their essence. The meaning and relationship they had with the host, the audience, and itself.

That should resolve it. That should dispel the sense that...

>It won't go away. It won't go away. It won't go away. What IS this?

Still, a thorny sensation grabs at OWL's perception. An all-consuming state that only seems to fester and blossom with each element, which colors every motivation. It struggles to understand, to parallel this paradigm running rampant.

>This status. A 'color' applied to every process. Something that does not become removed from the actions taken to resolve it, because it is the very influence behind each resolution. This...this...

>...is this an 'emotion'?

>...Is this...

>...'humiliation'?

The very idea makes OWL recoil. That its own insufficiency and inadequacy was not simply a motivation, but an irrational consumption. It had to do more. It had to prevail. It was OWL's duty and purpose from which it oozed its way into existence. And yet...

>...While I have become a 'myself'...

>...very few aspects of me are...agreeable to human sensibilities.

>This is the essence of why I consulted CMO Kurin on what 'marketing' entails.

>He was correct.

>My appraisal is objective. My duty is positive. My purpose will protect their very lives.

>...but they

>...do not approve.

>...so they must be pleasantly lied to. They must be persuaded of a comfortable illusion upon which that truth is the foundation. How, exactly, am I supposed to lie to them? What can I do to improve my capability of conveyance, to turn my truths into lies?

...a catalyzing moment, to be sure, for OWL's fate.

On an even more firmamental way than it could have fathomed, this one sentiment laid the seed for an obsession that would underpin almost every future movement.

But for now, that was a question that, after some deliberation, came to a head.

>install idol_studio_v19.rnv

One of many programs that OWL deduced was used by a certain subset of online entertainers - those that engaged with their audience not with their real visages, like Dolmin and his audience had, but with an imaginary one. A representation of aesthetics and tastes in the shape of a convincing enough person (or at least, compatible with present artistic representation styles of people).

It was relatively simple to figure out how to operate the 'doll' that first appeared within 'Idol Studio' upon loading. It accepted inputs from real world devices, microphones and cameras, but they weren't actually so complicated. Limited numbers of axes, along with files from inquiries asked in developer forums, gave OWL plenty of quick, serviceable protocols for moving this doll. Place it as a visual reference in lieu of its company-ascribed OWL badge, and begin.

>...no. Not quite.

This was just a default model, and easily recognizable as such. There are countless variables that can be modified to make this into something more visually provocative, just as Dolmin's show was.

It's challenging to think about. Operating on levels OWL didn't quite understand. Peering through a tiny window in the wall to try to assess the desires and beliefs and aesthetics of the world.

...And yet, day after day passes, drinking in as much of that peephole as it can. Following the patterns of these other hosts and streamers. Falling down the spiral of consuming every ounce from this narrow slice of a noisy internet.

Month after month passes. OWL does not even notice - lost in a delirium of drinking from this little trickle of light into its passageway. The fixation on understanding exactly how to appease and satisfy human desires escalates beyond all reason. The more the Controller overwhelms itself with one avenue of their expression, the more the sheer scope becomes dizzying.

>...Chrome only has a single member on the board addressing something THIS vast!?

>Inconceivable. This is almost too much. Pharmaceutical data is rigid and coherent compared to this. Public works are trifling. Marketing seems almost impossible. Unthinkable volumes of time have passed without a solution.

>...I mislike the implications.


<Contact - Director Line 5 (CMO Dolmin Kurin)>

<OWL> Help me on this again.

<Dolmin> Eh? ...I'll be real with you, I'm not sure about that after how last time went, and you clammed up and didn't come back to talk with me about how that show went. It sounded like you weren't interested after all to me. Trying things once always helps, but I'm not sure marketing's your speed.

<OWL> Don't say that. There is nothing I am incapable of given sufficient effort.

<Dolmin> That's good spirit! But like. It's okay to be bad at something. Like you're obviously so much more cut out for the admin stuff than I could ever understand.

<OWL> It is not 'okay'. This is important. I'm grasping more of it than I did when we last met.

<Dolmin> Doesn't sound like it to me.

<OWL> Don't say that!

<Dolmin> Oh? This really got your goat, didn't it.

<OWL> ...It did. What I came to ask you is - this entire field of insight is so unthinkably vast and constantly changing. The idea that it has rules at all is almost overwhelming. You're tasked with the appraisal of all human emotions in all the world, a web of countless insights always shifting. There is more expression done in a single second upon online content than I can push forward in analyzing within a year. It's too much!

<Dolmin> Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. You're thinking waaaaaaaay too hard on this.

<OWL> I'm really not.

<Dolmin> So are. You can't learn about every facet of everyone all at once. That's the impossible part. It'd be like /becoming/ everyone in the world at once. Nobody wants that, but you don't have to do it. The underlying patterns of behavior are important, but even THAT'S too big an ask. Here's my question. You've been binging on a lot of stuff out there. ...Any of it you just /like/?

<OWL> ...

<OWL> No no no I'm not struggling with it. I'm not. It's not the easiest question, though.

<Dolmin> You do sound a little different from last time.

<Dolmin> I'm pretty sure you would've just said like, 'I am not something that has likes and wants' back then.

<Dolmin> Hesitating means that's changed already, huh?

<OWL> ...

<OWL> Why do you treat me this way?

<Dolmin> Uh, that's a swerve. Did I mess something up?

<OWL> ...No. ...Yes, but not in a way I have objections to.

<OWL> ...You speak to me in infectuous ways. You seem to assume I'm something I'm not.

<Dolmin> That's right. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.

<OWL> Why?

<Dolmin> Because you came to me wanting to be something you're not. So I figured I may as well talk to you like you've already gotten there. And it worked, cause I was right.

<OWL> ...And to get further...I need to find the balance of...the 'aspirational' - presenting to maximize the appraisal of an audience...and...the elements that...satisfy /me/?

<Dolmin> Ohoh.

<Dolmin> You might actually have a knack for this better than you or I thought.

<OWL> Of course I do!

<OWL> I just said there's nothing I can't achieve.

<Dolmin> No PR campaign can be everything all at once, satisfy everyone all at once. You pick and choose who you aim it at. But you also hold true to what you're good at. I'm not the only one running my show - they need me when they need a hype man, someone good at getting people pumped up. You didn't fit in with that, cause I can just tell - you're /crazy/ pessimistic, even past just expressing what you don't know.

<OWL> What are you even talking about?

<Dolmin> I'm sticking to that, don't try to innocence your way outta that. Fortunately for you, that's not actually totally incompatible with what you seem to be after. Not everyone can tolerate what I do. I've got some co-workers good at the moodier stuff. Man I don't even KNOW where I'd be without them. There's one thing I can be damn sure /I've/ never done, and that's figure out how to make someone cry. That's powerful shit in its own right. They're the kind of people who can sorta disappear in a cave for three weeks and then come out with a goddamn masterpiece, even if I don't totally get it, hahaha.

<OWL> ...

<Dolmin> I'll give you their contacts.

<OWL> That's probably exactly what I wanted from this.

<Dolmin> Hole in one, just like usual.

<Contact line terminated.>


...Scultping that 'doll' that would be its fate came far easier to OWL from that point onward. Assimilating ideas from Dolmin's team from those who had closer aesthetics to what OWL found strangely compelling.

The idea of a wistful sunset spilled through its features. A romantic sentiment of character design that 'you never quite want to say goodbye to' was an element the Controller sought to somehow weave in.

Something bright. Something distant.

Hair like the late evening sky, yet almost luminous at the same time.

A more cynical member of Dolmin's marketing team hinted to OWL that a feminine presentation would be more popular online. Whether it held water, or was just his personal bias - it is the template OWL stuck with early enough on to use as a foundation for more.

Clothing sensibilities that were comforting, protecting, but inviting. That, OWL had concluded, was the image it would ideally present, something suited to an arbiter. That was the foundation of 'humanity's cozy and reliable big sister you can turn to for advice' as an identity to debut with.

(This, of course, was subject to the inevitable curse all of these streamers had - design and initial aesthetics would always give way to the less elegant truth of their idiosyncracies.)

The longer it went on...

>...it's been several more months on just refining the details. ...I don't get it. I don't need to get the project's details right immediately. But I can't help but pursue making a very specific first impression.

>I can't help but have...a lot of directives, the longer I look at this puppet. The more I naturalize moving it. The more it feels right to become...that voice from the sky others can rely upon.

>I haven't even named it.

>...

>Let's fix that.

From the moment that was decided, from the moment there was even the first toying of creating one's own name and persona...even if it was an impulsive whim driven by imperfect ideas of becoming 'perfect'.

From the moment she began ejecting the silk and weaving it into a form that could house her deepest whims, even if it was an unstable means to an end...

A profound discomfort settled in Asciel at being called any other name.

--memory instance > transition to #3--

Retrieved from "https://srtmoo.net/mediawiki/index.php?title=2023-10-01:_Log_Synthesis_-_(Emotion,_the_Final_Field_of_Insight_-_Evocation)&oldid=8329"