2023-07-29: Whether the Heart Comes or Goes
- Log: 2023-07-29 Whether the Heart Comes or Goes
- Cast: Shinji Ikari, Asuka Shikinami Langley
- Where: The sky
- OOC - IC Date: July 29, UC 0097 (2023)
- Summary: On the way back from battling to help rescue Liam, Shinji and Asuka discuss Gridman, then talk about their fledgling romance.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It had been a near thing, getting back on the NERV bombers that had transported Units 01 and 02 to Vladivostok. Technically speaking, five minutes had passed after the batteries ran out before they were picked up, minutes that had Shinji almost vibrating with tension. Kaworu being in the entry plug with him kept him mostly calm, but he wasn't truly calm until they were on-board, off-Eva, and had heard the news that Liam had been safely retrieved.
The bombers are in flight now, the Evas recharging along the way. Shinji had to scrounge up some food for Asuka--hardly the 'all your favorites, as much as you'd like' that he'd promised--but Kaworu had helped, then bid him go to her without him.
"Thanks, Kaworu-kun," Shinji had said with a slight smile. "I hope you get to see Gridman soon."
Kaworu only smiled back.
After a quick trip to the kitchenette where he could use the microwave, Shinji set off on finally tracking down Asuka herself. He knows she's not in her Eva--the techies told him as such--and at a time like this, she'd probably be somewhere on her own, jabbing the buttons on her Wonderswan furiously... Hopefully the instant cup ramen he'd prepped for her won't get soggy before he finds her. If it does, though, he's also got some back-up protein bars.
It's just to tide them over until they get home. Then he can cook an actual meal for her, like he promised.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Asuka's been mostly quiet ever since the end of the battle, her comms flipped off after some very mild grumbling on Eva-01 helping Eva-02 get back to the rendezvous point.
Part of Asuka does marvel at the bombers themselves, large enough to lift an Evangelion, to deliver them as payload, to have quarters like this. She was in the air force after all.
However, mostly, she's still fuming, which means she took a seat and started playing her Chocobo Breeding/Dungeon Crawling game with a certain ferocity.
Shinji might guess, correctly, that it's less the nurturing aspect of the game and more the breeding something better, stronger, more powerful for Asuka to channel her desire of violence through.
And so she's grinding right now, tapping the buttons furious for the battles to hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. She hit some function for fast motion and so it's just 'tap' something dies, quick movements, 'tap' something dies and repeat.
There's something about this that's cathartic enough that one might wonder if it offers release, but one would underestimate how much of a wellspring of resentment she is.
Right now she's seated in the passenger seats, two long line of them in parallel, with seatbelts, of which hers is not on, nor belted in so it's not difficult for Shinji to find her.
There's still the faint smell of LCL in her hair and on her suit, which she dried enough that it doesn't look matted, but still has that chaotic feel of long hair that needs additional attention to be 'presentable' at something like school.
When he comes in, she keeps on her game for a bit, then eyes it. "Finally!" Tap something dies and then- Asuka clicks the sleep button.
Stuffing it into a waterproof bag beside her, she zips it up and takes it from him. Despite being on a plane in flight, she moves her chopsticks to slurp up a bite right away.
Still, despite that remark, she's not complaining anymore. Rationally she knows that they're in flight, and that there's only so much Shinji can do. And that it's only meant to tide her over.
She's still mad though, and rather than talk about the subject making her mad, she channels her anger into an irritated question--
"What's the deal, siding with Gridman out there?" Again she slurps more of a bite, "Commander has standing orders for him getting in our way, right? Be better if he didn't show at all."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Honestly, the fact that you're supposed to breed a stronger, meaner, scarier bird is the only reason that Shinji finds it reasonable that Asuka would play a game about breeding chocobos. The sound of furious tapping is what guides him to her--the passenger seats are long and mostly empty, so tiny video game death sounds resound loud and clear.
"Sorry it's just ramen," Shinji says as he sits next to her. He hasn't dried the LCL from his hair either; obviously his first priority was her. "I'll cook you something better when we're back at home with real ingredients. If you don't like the ramen flavor, I've also got a couple of protein bars..."
Or so he's in the middle of saying when she just straight-up grabs the ramen from him and starts slurping away. Shinji smiles fondly and settles in, opening up one of those bars for himself. He's worked up an appetite himself by now.
And he'd be content to sit in relative silence, just the two of them sharing space like they did that one night--except Asuka brings up Gridman.
"Yeah, but that's for NERV missions. This wasn't just a NERV mission. We only came in after everyone else did the hard work of finding Liam. He had every right to be there to help out," Shinji replies quietly. "And it's not like he's our enemy. You know he cares a lot about all of us. Just because he tried to defend Duma doesn't mean he's turned on us."
He pauses to nibble at his bar. It has dark chocolate chips. Seems like someone on board has just the slightest nod to a sweet tooth, so slight it may as well not exist. Shinji finds he doesn't mind it. "...but it's not really about that. I just didn't think you should yell at him for caring. If I were in his shoes, I'd have frozen up, too."
Technically he was in his shoes. It's just that Kaworu was there. That's what made the difference for both of them.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
"I'd be mad if we were at home." Asuka tells him, and indeed she would be, it's a Misato meal - not a Shinji meal. "But... it's what you've got to work with up here." She allows, as if it were entirely acceptable under the circumstances.
Even for her, it'd be irrational to expect a home cooked meal in enemy territory, on a military flight back.
And ordinarily, that would in fact be that, and they'd share space in quiet, save that she is mad - and she disturbed that by bringing at least 'an issue' even if it's not 'the issue' into the open.
She sideeyes him, slurping noodles as he brings up good points about the mission itself, about how he cares about them. An eyebrow raises at him, as if to say 'Why do you think that matters?' on the subject of them caring.
Still she slurps more noodles up with her chopsticks, and then wipes her mouth on the back of her plugsuits glove. "You weren't in his shoes though. You were there. And even if you trying to talk to the guy, you weren't freezing up in a firefight." Asuka points out to him, "If he's there to help. Then he should help. Not just stand around hand wringing."
Asuka comments, her anger not fully fired up at him, or maybe she's just abiding by what he asked about yelling at Shinji-
Though no, she actually doesn't want to yell at him anymore, at least not when they're outside of a fight.
"That guy was armed to the teeth with experimental weaponry, could have shot you through the entry plug without a care, and he'd still be standing there wondering whether he had a right to do anything about it."
She eyes him, her blue eyes irritated, but at least her volume is conversational. "You think if I hadn't said something, he'd have acted? But then he had to prove me wrong."
That's at least different? Asuka never talks about why she says or does the things she does, but perhaps that's the closest she can get to admitting that she cares.
Maybe it's because she at least does care enough about Shinji that, even if she can't admit it, she doesn't actually want him to think less of her if she can help it.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"If we were at home, you'd be right to be mad," Shinji replies, a little humor on the slight upward curve of his lips. Her acknowledgement that he did the best with what he could... it does make him happy. Or at least, it makes him feel recognized. Or maybe it's more that he feels like... Asuka's standards aren't so impossibly high that he couldn't possibly meet them.
It's reassuring. And maybe that is a form of happiness in itself.
Of course, that doesn't mean Asuka's lost her characteristic harshness. As much as Shinji told her off for yelling at Gridman, he's not really mad about it, because he knows that she wasn't mean just to be mean. He nods back as she explains her reasoning, chewing slowly on the protein bar.
"He did help," he points out--but then Asuka counter-points out that it's because she said something. Shinji considers that for a moment. He had been there, and he'd seen and heard how Gridman had calmed after Kaworu had reassured him. At the same time, it's not like Asuka was ineffective, either. Was it because of Kaworu's gentle encouragement or Asuka's harsh pushing that Gridman came to his senses and gained the will to fight? He doesn't really know. Maybe it was a combination of both. The carrot and the stick, as they say.
He thinks both of them would not like it if he said as much, and he smiles at the thought. Maybe the next step in his personal miracles, after getting his father to praise him, is getting Asuka and Kaworu to be friends.
"You really are a lot nicer than you used to be," he comments, even though he half-thinks she might yell something like YOU TAKE THAT BACK in response. "Or maybe you've always been this nice and you just weren't good at expressing it... or the rest of us weren't good at noticing it. But you care about Gridman too, don't you? Otherwise you wouldn't bother yelling at him."
He doesn't think that Gridman would've kept on doing nothing if Desmond had been close to getting a kill on him. Shinji thinks that Gridman probably would have jumped in the way and taken the hit for himself. He's really self-sacrificing that way, like Rei... like Kaworu. Maybe that's why the three of them work so well as a... (here Shinji's thoughts skip; a couple? a triple? what was it called again when you're in a romantic relationship with three people?) ...well, maybe that's why they work so well together, in any case.
In that case, what makes him and Asuka work together well? Mari had a lot to say about experiences and not holding back... He looks over at Asuka. Maybe, like he'd also talked about with Mari, it's their mutual awkwardness that makes them a good pair.
(Does it make them a good pair?? Shinji hopes so, anyway.)
"Oh, um, don't worry, though. I won't tell anyone," he says in an attempt to tease like Mari would. It probably comes off as sincere, though.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Asuka's head bobs as if to say they have an accord on that. After all, she has an expectation by now that Shinji simply make her meals. And that he put effort into them-!
After all, he originally asked for this duty, so she has the expectation that it continues.
And indeed, she doesn't complain that his home cooking doesn't have Neo-Michelin stars or anything. In fact she doesn't complain most days, only if she feels like he genuinely did slack.
Most days she gives him the mildest of compliments. So it feels like at least, for such things, he has a real chance of meeting her standards!
Shinji points out that Gridman did help, earning him a glare, but Shinji does listen to what she says and-
What he points out, he gets treated to a rare sight, at least for something HE managed to pull off, "Ah..." Asuka's eyes dart from side to side, before she faces back forward at her ramen, looking embarrassed.
"... wasn't trying to be nice." She grumbles as she stuffs another steaming bite in her mouth, slurp, chew, swallow, "Just- if he was gonna be there, he needed to be useful."
And that says a lot, doesn't it, about Asuka's philosophy of someone being on the battlefield? Or perhaps even life...
And yet for all of her trying to cover for the error causing a small hit to her pride, that denial is so mild, that it's almost certain Shinji was spot on.
"Gridman. He's-" There's a small pause, and- "-irritating, but he's not the worst, you know? He's proven himself out there some. Which is just, why it's annoying when he gets like this."
One might wonder if this might be her philosophy in regards to Shinji too. After all, she's implied he's proved himself some out there, and that at times he's irritating, annoying-
-but she is dating him, isn't she?
"It's... there's nothing to tell anyone?" She tells him awkwardly, a touch flustered, but overall her lightly dismissive tone doesn't sound like she's upset, just more embarrassed what that resulted in, "So whatever."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Maybe one day it'll have Michelin stars. Shinji doesn't know what he wants to be in the future, but he has come to genuinely like cooking--or maybe he genuinely likes people's reactions to his cooking. Watching them taste it and say it's good. Asuka's technically the opposite--she accepts the food he makes with little comment save those faint compliments unless she feels like it's bad--but that still means she pays attention. That she notices, and can tell when there's a difference. Asuka's not the type to say nice things to avoid hurting people's feelings, either, so he knows she's always sincere. For him, that means a lot.
In the same way, when Asuka gets flustered at his compliments, he smiles warmly in fondness. It's because of that that he lets her cover up for herself to protect her pride. "Uh huh?" he prompts her instead as she explains further about her stance on Gridman. Then: "Mmm..." He leans back in his seat and stares up at the ceiling. Another unfamiliar one, but right now, that's fine. "I get what you're trying to say. You don't want the rest of us to get hurt, either, so to you, we've got to be tough and push through. I don't think Gridman's wrong... but it did worry me when he froze up like that, so I don't think you were wrong, either. I think Kaworu-kun's going to talk to him later, so... hopefully it'll be okay."
He really doesn't know, though. After all, Gridman has more troubles than even Rei or Kaworu could fix--and Duma specifically is a trouble they can't fix. Shinji's lips purse; then he takes a deep breath and part-turns to face Asuka more properly.
"Say, Asuka... it's been a while since we were on a date last, hasn't it? I know we've been really busy with missions and school and stuff..." And technically, Duma's still out there, so they might get called onto a mission at any time... "but I miss spending time with you like this, and..." Heat rises in his cheeks. "...the last date we were on, it really meant a lot to me..."
Even if his feelings on his father have changed since then, Asuka didn't try to tell him he was wrong to feel that way. That he should try to understand the father who abandoned him. He's more open to that now, but... Asuka gave him permission to be angry and to express that anger on a tower of garbage with a picture of his father's face on it, as it were. As guilty as he felt about it--as he still feels about it--it was also cathartic.
"...s-so I was thinking we should go on another date like that sometime," he concludes, ducking his head as his pulse quickens. "I mean. If you still want to. Something like the batting cages, or a bumper car demolition derby, or a race, or something like that... Something we can--team up at."
Was that smooth enough? He can't tell if it was smooth enough. He mostly didn't stammer. It's stuff Asuka would be into, right? And if it's the two of them vs. other people, then it's more of a couples activity than heading to a junkyard, right...? He peeks over at her to gauge her reaction.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
One day...
Asuka certainly wouldn't complain if his cooking got that far along, of course, would she praise it more either? He is correct, however, she does pay attention - and she would never compliment something he did just for the sake of his feelings...
However, as he prompts Asuka onward, then interprets what she's saying, "Right. You-" She looks away at a diagonal before continuing, "-You couldn't pilot Eva if you got hurt." And then she falls into silence for a moment, "Hm. Well. They are dating. So maybe he'll knock some sense into him."
It's roundabout, and it avoids some of her disdain for Kaworu's methods. She knows at least that Kaworu would never indicate one shouldn't fight something hostile.
It simply acknowledges that, a relationship like that means someone has more of a chance to get through to someone else, rather than his methods actually being more effective.
And Asuka DOES know that Gridman has troubles, not the full extent but- well, she'd yelled at him about it before.
When Shinji addresses her again, she looks up from her cup noodles mid bite, with strands of them sticking out of her mouth, a momentary pause, before she slurps them back up.
"Ah yeah. It has been a while hasn't it?" She seems, surprised perhaps, by the passage of the time, "Was wondering when you'd bring it up again."
Which implies, she thought it was his responsibility to ask this time, perhaps? But she doesn't sound irritated, or annoyed. There's- there's nothing hard in her blue eyes as he tells her he misses spending time with her.
She just looks at him for a while. Touched perhaps or surprised or both at the idea that someone misses spending time with her, that it really meant a lot to him.
Putting down the remains of her cup noodles on the seats, "Y-Yeah. It wasn't... half bad." She tears her eyes away from him, and it's become pretty standard as a compliment for her? At first it wasn't half bad... but then...
"Pretty good actually."
She still remembers it. It was nice, to see someone else with her, just wanting to hit things too. To hit things, as if representative of the unfairness of it all. Or to lash out with those troublesome feelings one has problems articulating.
She couldn't hit something with Gendo Ikari's portrait on it, but... it wasn't a bad feeling, watching Shinji do it, seeing him get something out of it.
"Sure. Why not?" She responds after a moment, like she'd pushed past any embarrassment, to getting into the idea again.
But his options, she nods along, until he says... "Team up?" She echoes, before- "Huh." She utters, as if thinking about it. She'd always put them both in at least some form of competition against the other. It felt safer that way.
About the only one who had ever been able to keep up with her speed, complaining or not, had been Mari - so that's a lot to ask of Shinji.
"Alright." She agrees quietly, at first like she's just getting used to the idea. Before qualifying it further, with a bit more emphasis, "You'd just - you'd better be able to keep up with my pace! If we're going to be on the same team, I expect nothing less!"
It's a lot to ask of him, but in a sense... Shinji asked for it himself right? And she's touched that he did, because it's him taking on the hard work and performance Asuka values to try and put himself on the same team as her.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji blinks.
You couldn't pilot Eva if you got hurt.
Rei had told him once that the Evangelion was her bond with everyone--that she didn't have anything else.
Don't tell him--Asuka, too...?
Why do both of these incredible, strong, smart girls think they aren't worth anything beyond their ability to pilot an Evangelion?
He shakes his head a little. No, that's not Asuka. Maybe for her, it's more that... it's specifically her bond with him. If they weren't both pilots, they never would have met... Shinji mulls on that for a moment, and decides to keep his thoughts to himself. For now. Instead, he nods and makes a small, "Mm," noise about Gridman and Kaworu.
More importantly for the two of them, Asuka says she'd been wondering when he'd bring it up. So she really was waiting for him to make the next move, like he'd wondered? It's hard for him to imagine why she would... Asuka doesn't hold back for anyone. ...Then again, she doesn't blush for anyone, and she blushed for him, didn't she?
He smiles again, warm and even a little bubbly. It only grows moreso as she gives her standard (faint, faint) compliment, that grows into a pretty good.
Never mind that she's praising him for expressing rage and violence. It was only things--and specifically, things no one wanted anymore. That makes it all right. Right?
Oh, wait, she's thinking about it. If it's not a kneejerk no or a 'what are you, stupid?', then there's hope. That hope pays off, even, and Shinji's eyes widen. "R-right!" he says, back straightening. "I'll do my best!"
Which is not the same as 'I'll keep up'--he remembers keenly how she trounced him at that one dance-based arcade game--but he really does mean it.
...
...sh-should he start working out...?
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Shinji is more on the mark than he seems to realize, but Asuka doesn't confirm, and Shinji discounts it. After all, why would two bright, competent girls with a future ahead of them tie up all their worth in piloting Eva?
Why indeed?
Mostly, Asuka at her baseline when she's not mad at something is not that talkative, and in these moments she's comfortable with the quiet in their shared space, as Shinji processes...
... how he feels, what's going on with him.
However, his hope, bright and certain gains at least a softer look from Asuka as he cheers up. It's not like she's happy about it - satisfied but - seeing him happy? Seeing him happy about spending time with her?
It's not the worst thing. It at least eats away at some of the negative feelings that built up after the fight. A hand cards through her reddish-brown hair, as she threads it through to the side, smoothing out tangles and gnarls that formed when LCL matted it.
"Your best, huh?" Her tone might sound skeptical at first, just mildly, because - Shinji's best? It feels like it might not meet her standards.
However, then she repeats it again. "Your best." As if, in acceptance of that, at least, for now. She doesn't think he'll get as good as Mari at keeping pace with her, but...
... maybe that's fine? Maybe.
She'll see.
(Working out feels wise, but will it do any good? Inquiring minds want to know.)
"Well. I'll let you know where you can take me soon."
He did ask, but he also left it implied and Asuka needs to do some research. These all sound her thing, but she wants to be sure it's something she understands fully and can dominate at.
It's not a high stakes thing like an Eva, so maybe she can pick up the slack too.
"Let's plan for after the Angel is dealt with. Wouldn't want- something like that to interrupt it."
That does kind put a damper on things doesn't it? Given the controversy over the Angel, but it makes sense for the way Asuka thinks. After all...
... her whole purpose is to kill Angels, even if Shinji doesn't realize that.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It's okay if it's hard for Asuka to feel happy. That's something Shinji really gets. He can only imagine what her past was like if she was made to be a military captain and fight in a war at age twelve, and frnakly he doesn't want to. It's just too horrible to imagine a little girl--even if that little girl is Asuka--being forced to do something like that. It's enough to know (assume) that it's scarred her emotionally as a result. And so it's enough to know that being here with him and everyone is organically making her a better, less angry person.
His eyes go to her hair as she runs her fingers through it. "Oh, yeah," he says, and starts to get up. "I'll see if I can't find a hairbrush for you." His hair is short enough that he can just deal, but hers is longer and much nicer. He pauses when she says 'your best, huh?'--not quite like she's mocking him, but like she's reading exactly what he means by it. He makes a face. "I know I can't be as good as you right away, but still..."
'Your best,' she repeats, as if accepting that. Shinji settles a bit, the smile that follows more than a little wry.
Yeah, he's going to have to start working out... Maybe Tohji can give him some tips.
"Oh--yeah?" he utters, blindsided by Asuka decided she'll pick the spot. Then again, that only makes sense, right? His goal here is to do something with her that she can enjoy, and he gave her an array of options. He settles again and nods. "Okay. Let me know soon so I can start preparing, okay?"
He hesitates again when she suggests they make it happen after the Tenth Angel. She's absolutely right, but Mari's suggestion was to do it as soon as possible...
But then, he's not dating Mari, he's dating Asuka. He'll abide by what she wants.
"Yeah, you're right," he thus agrees. "Until then... we can always do something more low-key, something we can pause if we have to, like... watch a movie at home?"
He's not actually sure if Asuka likes movies, but learning more about what she does and doesn't is part of the point, too.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
It is interesting isn't? And it's just as interesting that it was allowed to happen. Asuka doesn't really talk about her past much. Shinji's certainly never heard about her having parents.
So did NERV just find someone compatible with an Eva and just, send her to the university, then throw her into war? What happened there?
Either way, talk of the past is far too uncomfortable, for either of them. And opening up to talk of Asuka's past- opens up talk of Shinji's.
The hedgehog's dilemma is strong when the price of getting closer are spines so sharp and long.
"Yeah. You gave a list right?" As Asuka notes on it, like Shinji was deciding on where was best by her response, "I want to think on it."
Which, is in and of itself interesting - because Asuka it feels like she rarely ever has to think long to make a decision? She just decides, on the spot. Snaps to it.
But on a date with Shinji? She agreed to the date... but she really has to think about it.
"Sure. I'll let you know tomorrow."
However, it doesn't sound like she thinks she needs LONG to make a decision, wow!
(She just thinks she needs a single night of doing research to figure it out.)
The Angel looms overhead, and Asuka can perhaps see his hesitation, but- then he makes another offer, and... there's a pause, and-
"Alright. That sounds- fine." A small pause and, "Maybe on the Geofront too, even, like, you know- when they have us on duty, in case the Angel comes back."
Since the Eva pilots are on standby, if they're not in a test or training it's a bunch of sitting around. "Can, sit together in the break room and watch on our phones."
She seems a touch flustered on that final one, but like, it's because they'd have to sit pretty close to watch on one phone screen right?
Though then she asks a question, and- "What kind of movies do you like anyway?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
He hasn't--in fact, she once told him she didn't have parents. Shinji came to his own conclusions on that matter--that actually she did have parents, and they died or otherwise left her behind--which is a result of his own cognitive biases and lack of understanding of what makes a Coordinator a Coordinator. (Not that understanding would have helped him here.) How things panned out for her after that... That's just another one of those things he doesn't want to imagine.
Maybe one day she'll tell him. Until then, he won't push. It's not like he's in a hurry to talk about his own parents, either.
"Yeah--okay," he replies. He's certainly not going to argue with Asuka on that point. That being said, curiosity makes him wonder, "Does that mean you haven't done any of those things before? I haven't either, so I'm fine with whatever you pick--they just seemed like things you might enjoy."
He considers telling her that this was inspired by advice from Mari... but he's not sure Asuka would like it if he told her he's been talking about their relationship with other people, so he keeps that to himself, too.
Tomorrow, though? She wants to think about it but she only needs a day? It's so like and unlike her. He can't say he minds that, either; the sooner he knows, the sooner he can figure out what he needs to do to be on her level. But that'll take a lot of time and effort, especially if they wait until the Tenth Angel is defeated, and the point of this was for them to spend more time together. So...
"Oh--yeah, good idea," he says, of watching a movie together on a phone at the Geofront. Pink rises in his cheeks--he's also realized how close they'd have to sit to watch a movie on something as small as a phone together. "Y-yeah, that sounds good."
He was going to get a hairbrush for her, wasn't he? Shinji looks around the passenger area, then decides to sit back down for now. They're still in the middle of a conversation.
What kind of movies, though...? That stumps him for a moment. Generally speaking, he's gone to movie theatres for the experience of being alone in the dark, not to really pay attention to what was on the screen. He suggested movies because they're such a standard kind of date--dinner and a movie. He doesn't want to admit that to Asuka, though.
"I like movies where things work out okay in the end," he concludes. "As long as I'm watching a fantasy anyway, I don't want to walk away feeling miserable at the end." (More miserable than usual, he means, though he's been less miserable lately.) He pauses; a look of chagrin steals over his face. "...uh, I know that's probably not really helpful... Sorry about that."
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
"I've- used a bat!" Asuka tells him, when it comes to that, but that's obvious, she used a bat in front of him, "Just never to hit a ball, but how hard could that be?" Indeed, Asuka's hand-eye coordination would make that far too easy, and if they went to the batting cages she'd do research on stances and the like. It is frustrating that it probably would be easy for her...
... but it'd be easy because she'd put in the work.
"And the rest? I've done, high threat military driving training. Had to have a license on base, and never know when you're gonna be under fire."
It's again, an uncomfortable reminder that Asuka was a child when she went into war. "So, not exactly but- I'm sure I'd be great at it."
It is her admitting she's not effortlessly competent at a thing in a sense, but she's also probably not WRONG that she'd be good at these things either.
As Shinji pinkens, Asuka looks away, knowing he's thinking of it too. Still she waits for his answer, and what he says-
-Asuka looks at him, and one might wonder if she's about to say 'What are you, stupid?' but instead, she just says, "Doesn't feel real to me." Asuka replies, after a moment, "But- it's just fantasy right? So if that's what you like, then- yeah, we can watch something like that."
It will also require her to pick movies where she researches the ending, and thus knows the spoilers, but you know what? Small price to pay, she'd rather be spoiled so she knows she's not wasting her time watching the film...
... after a moment, Asuka looks towards a the front of the plane, since bombers aren't passenger vessels, there aren't really windows.
"Long flight back." A short pause and, "Wonder if they've recovered Baldy yet."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"I know," Shinji points out of Asuka having at least used a bat. But... yeah. It figures she hasn't actually used a bat for what it's supposed to be for, which is baseball. And of course she hasn't played bumper cars but she knows how to drive a military vehicle... It really does break his heart--and make him angry at whoever forced a little girl into a life like that.
But Asuka's so proud. If he said something, he's sure she'd say something like, 'It's fine, because it made me strong,' even though what's been done to her is horrible. For a moment, his lips twist and thin. Ultimately, he keeps his thoughts to himself again.
Instead, he says of her being great at those things: "Yeah, I know that too."
She does give him a look like she might call him stupid--and maybe he is stupid--but she says something else. Shinji lets out a small, relieved sigh. "Well, yeah. It's fiction, of course it doesn't feel real. Even movies that say they're based on real stories are mostly made up." There are documentaries, of course, but they're usually not quite the same as a movie one would go to the theatres to see.
Either way, Asuka goes along with it, and Shinji's eyes widen. The smile that follows might be embarrassing in how dopey it is. "We can watch some stuff you like, too. That's only fair," he offers--and this time, he works up the nerve to rest his hand over hers.
Not a kiss, though. Kisses just feel... weird, still. Hand-holding is enough for him for now.
He sighs a little when Asuka refers to Liam as 'Baldy'--but then, it's better than what she used to call him, and nicknames are kind of her thing. Hers and Mari's. Also weird, how in sync the two of them are, despite having such different personalities. ...He's glad Asuka has such a close friend. Just like him and Kaworu.
"I hope so," he says aloud--and then he shakes his head. "No, I'm sure they have. We just have to wait to hear the report."
Optimism has always been hard for him, but--one step at a time.
<Pose Tracker> Asuka Shikinami Langley has posed.
Shinji decides discretion is the better part of valor when it comes to Asuka's past, and that is a wise decision. She is so very proud after all...
And Shinji does make a good point on films, but- for Asuka even for fiction, she has trouble with films where everything is a happy ending.
Happiness just doesn't feel real to her, even if it's something she strives for.
"Sure. Yeah. Just-" 'I don't want you to be miserable' "-can't have you being a sad sack either, after. If you're sleeping in, you're not doing all the things you're supposed to."
'Like cooking for me.'
Simple things, but things that still feel like too much of a stretch for her to say. Such simple sentiments that are still a step too far for her pride, but- she crossed several of her lines today with him?
Who knows about tomorrow?
As his hand reaches over hers, at first she seems to pretend not to notice, but then shifts her hand just slightly and wraps her fingers around his.
"Yeah... you're right. He won't get done in by those 50 gilla bargain bin mercs."
Those are people she's talking about, but at the same time so is Liam...
"Bet we'll catch him back at the base."