2023-04-13: !nullificatioN! the kafims' complicated marriagE
- Log: !nullificatioN! the kafims' complicated marriagE
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Sayaka Yumi
- Where: Fujinomiya City Diner
- Date: 2023-04-13
- Summary: Yuliana and Sayaka have a pleasant chat at a diner. It quickly turns more tense after Yuliana realises she hasn't texted Elisa for almost an hour. She grows upset -- and tells Sayaka an awful lot of new information in the process. (Content warning: Domestic abuse)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGwN25z7FrE Taylor Swift - Anti-Hero
Yuliana is in a mood.
This, in and of itself, is nothing special. Yuliana is notoriously temperamental, and it's only gotten worse these days, now she's been weaned off of the drugs which the REA was only ever using to keep her controllable. It's stranger for those moods to fall on Elisa directly, though, as she insists that she's going out, and no, it's not one of their community speaking engagements, she just feels like it. Yes, to Fujinomiya. Yes, she knows it's a Federation holding. She's allowed to go shopping. That's not a problem, is it?
... she's at least kind enough to assure Elisa she'll be home for dinner.
Her attitude brightens once she's out of the eternal morning sun and in the relative balminess of Japanese autumn, though. (Trust her, it's still warmer out here.) In a pleasant green longcoat and hooded cowl, Yuliana carries a small and stylish bag from a fine jeweller and a larger bag from a boutique off into the diner she's noticed. It's not Boss's hole in the wall; she's at the wrong end of the city for that, and she's avoiding him, anyway.
Slipping into a booth, she sets those bags down in front of the window. Her winged aviator's shades help to obscure her identity, but a little extra privacy never hurt. Buying herself some tasty gyoza and green tea, she settles down to relax after strolling about the nicest parts of the city for a while.
(She doesn't particularly have to worry about how much anything costs.)
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
After a long stretch of busy days at the Labs, Sayaka's taking some 'me-time' as well. Which leads her to the same corner of Fujinomiya that one Yuliana Kafim is strolling through. It's not a problem at all.
Sayaka hasn't exactly splurged by any means - buying a modest amount of new clothing, after checking out this season's latest fashion. Really, the best reason to come out is beautiful cherry blossom season in Fujinomiya, though - painting the city a lovely pink.
Eventually, her little trip takes her to the same diner that Yuliana stopped by. But since she's made such an effort to conceal herself with the bags and the shades, Sayaka doesn't actually notice until she happens to seat herself in the booth to her left.
And well... now that she's here, it would be rude not to say anything, wouldn't it? "It's been some time, hasn't it, Mrs. Kafim?" Sayaka begins - there isn't actually a clear hint of bitterness in her tone. She just sounds like she's greeting an acquaintance. "Not since... the wedding, if I recall." There was also the JOSH-A kaiju attack - and then the institute raid, but Sayaka wouldn't say they exactly got to chat either time.
But she's still not going to play it as if she's dumb and didn't notice what was going on, either. "Quite the honeymoon you and your wife have been on since then."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana has many qualities -- some of which are even value-neutral, like her situational awareness. She does notice, when Sayaka moves by. She doesn't immediately call attention to it. She has no particular reason to trouble her. Whether she has the fortitude for anything else is...
But there's her name, and -- "Ah!" She smiles as she looks over, lowering her sunglasses, as if seeing her for the first time. (Her envy-green eyes... have lost their pupils, strangely.) Smoothly she removes them, clipping them to the obscuring neck of her cowl. "Dr. Yumi, what a surprise!" And she knows enough about the language to describe it as a pleasant surprise, not an unpleasant shock, a distinction foreigners often struggle with.
"Oh, it's been..." Yuliana trails off, glancing away, to the right. Even if Sayaka wasn't involved in the raid, it's been all over the news; while it's out of the news cycle by now, it was a big story at the time, and every station had their own take. "We've been well," she settles on. "I'm safe."
(She doesn't think of JOSH-A, in her evasiveness, but it's an assurance which applies just as well to that situation; she was almost torn apart in her dancing, back then.)
She looks back to Sayaka, and smiles. "I understand you were helping my men, back there," when the REA tried to throw the Nega Force under the bus, that is. "Thank you." It's genuine regard -- or else she's a very good liar, but why would she mislead Sayaka on something like that?
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
"A surprise indeed," Sayaka nods. "What brings you to Fujinomiya, then? Enjoying the view of sakura season, I imagine?" Clearly those cherry blossoms are pretty enough to observe even when you're a fugitive on the run from the government. But it's not like this daughter of the prime minister is exactly rushing to turn her in.
And she does notice as those strangely pupil-less eyes dart away. "Well... I'm glad to hear that." She decides on, tentatively, when Yuliana says she's safe. "I haven't exactly had the opportunity to speak with your wife, regrettably. She definitely seems.. the protective type." At least from what she gleamed from the wedding, that's the impression she got - even before lives were at risk.
"I tried to, at least..." Sayaka takes a sip of her own green tea - she has some omurice too. She didn't even bother to try the ramen, it's not going to match up to the Boss Ramen she's used to. "But the plan was just to buy enough time. Wen Yuan and Parminder, I hope they're safe too?" She sounds genuine on this too, she doesn't feel bitter towards Wen for attacking her, nor Parminder for swiftly turning down her job offer.
"Ah, and in case you're wondering. Koji and I, we're - 'well' doesn't feel like the right word. You've probably heard about everything that Labs have been through." Sayaka admits. "Relationship-wise though? Honestly the best it's been since... god, before Axis."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana sips her own tea, as she listens to Sayaka. It's delicious, naturally. And the first thing she does, lowering that cup and smiling over it, is to say: "I could not ask for a more faithful protector than my Elisa. She will always save me..." And Yuliana looks quite taken with that, really.
"Oh, but it is beautiful here this time of year," Yuliana agrees. "I just thought I'd... get out, do a little of nothing. I was just feeling a little cooped-up, I suppose..." She sighs, shaking her head.
"I was going to invite Lettu out with me, in fact, but she'd already left to go somewhere today -- I think she's off seeing one of her friends, Letda said?" A pause, and she adds: "Ah, that is -- Wen and Parminder, yes." The words she used before are Indonesian slang for first and second Lieutenant, respectively. Evidently, old habits die hard. "So they're doing quite well. I offered to set them up with some accounts the Republic couldn't close so easily, but they wanted to stick with me... it's strange, but the Castle's brighter for them." The... castle.
Maybe it's a metaphorical castle. Elisa is an Olympian, aside from being a researcher. (And a witch.) It's entirely reasonable she might have a mansion somewhere!
Entirely reasonable.
Yuliana does frown, briefly, as she thinks. "Though -- yes, I heard of the attack, and I recall Koji talking about his difficulties sleeping. I take it that's not improved? That's too bad." She sounds entirely sympathetic; she has no particular grudge against Koji and Sayaka, so it's not difficult for her to feel bad for them. She smiles again, though, as she goes on: "Yes, Koji was sure to emphasise that you weren't simply comrades. I'm glad to hear you've been doing well together. You're quite a pair!"
Would Yuliana still say that if she knew how many tables were broken in the course of those two knowing each other? Then again, it's not like Yuliana's never smashed a table up. She's not here to judge.
"Ah, but that reminds me," she says, and holds up a finger, in a pausing gesture. "Would you excuse me a moment? I--" Her other hand, slipping into her pocket, pulls her phone out -- only for her to frown, as pressing the button fails to rouse it. A longer press, and it doesn't even turn on.
Oh. It's gone dead.
Yuliana's expression grows drawn and tense; her lips twist around themselves. "Sorry," she says, and her voice is thin and taut, all stretched over the topic like a tarp, "would you -- happen to have a phone charger?"
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
"A little nothing, huh. I can get that, I mean - it's why I'm here. Director work can really take you out of it." She laughs, lightly. "It's a shame she couldn't make it, but it's still heartening all the same they're doing well." Sayaka nods. A Castle though... "Found quite the place for yourselves then!" A gothic looking place does sound their vibe, she supposes.
"Not particularly, no." Sayaka shakes her head at the comment about the sleep quality. "I can confirm it's a whole lot better when you're not sleeping by yourself." She smirks, which speaks for itself in regards to what Yuliana says next. "And thanks - I'll be sure to relay that to him." A few broken tables builds character in a relationship, by the way!
Sayaka hadn't really checked her phone at all during the conversation - knowing it would be flooded with notifications, and she doesn't really feel like putting her head to that. Yuliana hadn't checked hers either, and suddenly seems deeply aware of it. "A charger? Oh, no problem, I have a portable one right here." Sayaka momentarily reaches into her handbag, and pulls one out. It uses Photon Power -- figures. But that stress in Yuliana's voice is palpable... "You think something urgent came up?" She asks under her breath as she reaches to hand the charger over -- and maybe catches a glimpse of the home screen when it lights back to life.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Haha... you know, I can understand that," is what Yuliana offered, when Sayaka shared her secret for getting some sleep under the circumstances.
She's not in any laughing mood now, though. She grasps the charger quickly -- urgently -- and plugs it in. "It's just --" she starts to explain, before all the blood drains from her face.
Her phone starts vibrating with alerts -- she's gotten quite a few. Messages flash up on the top bar, one after another after another after another, and Yuliana doesn't even think to hide her phone for a moment as she goes to her message bank. The messages are restricted by the size of her screen, of course, but what's displayed when she opens it --
> It has been 18 minutes since I expected to hear from you. Please respond.
(Sent at 15:18:28 JST)
> Have they hurt you? Did something happen? Talk to me.
(Sent at 15:20:10 JST)
> Why will you not answer?
(Sent at 15:21:52 JST)
> Please respond.
(Sent at 15:23:06 JST)
> You will answer me, my Yuliana.
(Sent at 15:24:39 JST)
The time at the top of her phone is now 15:48 JST. Close to 4pm, if one hasn't been drilled into using military time.
A dozen demanding messages -- followed by dead silence.
After that moment of sallow recognition she does pull her phone in -- within the bonds of the charging cable -- and she's silent as she hammers out a reply, swallowing something down into her throat. Tight as her expression's wound, it can't entirely hide the way she's close to tears.
She takes a shuddering breath, and sighs in something like relief as her phone beeps again -- another message, and she puts her phone to the side for a moment to bury her face in her hands.
The messages on screen now look more like this.
> Im ok
(Sent at 15:50:12 JST)
> I'm so sorry my phone died so I didn't get a notif I was just falking to Dr. Yumi I'm still in Fujinomiya I'm safe I'm ok I wasn't ignoring you on purpose are you ok??
(Sent at 15:53:26 JST)
> I am well, now. It is all right. I understand.
(Sent at 15:53:59 JST)
> Thanks I love you ill be home soon xoxo
(Sent at 15:55:45 JST)
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
Sayaka sees the messages - spanning encompassing even beyond the limits of the screen. It gives her a... disturbing look into the married life of the Kafims.
Which just becomes all the more disturbing as Yuliana seems to completely withdraw into herself.
Sayaka lets the silence hang for a few moments that feel all too long. Maybe it feels like a breach in privacy... but this situation fills her with worry more than anything. Koji said 'Baron Ashura vibes' during the wedding.. but those two physically couldn't be separated.
"Hey, Mrs. Kafim?" She shatters apart that silence as Yuliana keeps her hands buried in her face. "Has anyone told you that isn't how healthy couples text when they're apart at all?" She asserts. She has no idea how Yuliana is going to respond, if she'll be offended on her wife's behalf, or if she'll further sink into herself. But Sayaka can't just leave it unsaid.
"Having a general idea of what the other's up to is one thing. Excessive rapid-fire messages... another thing entirely." Sayaka's tone is surely assertive, but it's not aggressive. "Are you really okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Just -- w-what are you accusing us of?!" Yuliana demands, looking up sharply from her hands, and it's a biting remark which might have been more savage if her voice hadn't broken as she launched into it. She switches her phone's screen off, angry and embarrassed over having forgotten. Basic opsec. She should know this.
'Us', she says, as if Sayaka's accusing the both of them.
Because as far as Yuliana's concerned, she's accusing the both of them.
"I..." She sinks into the diner seat, and her arms wrap about her midsection, each hand clutching the opposite elbow. "It's not like that," she insists, and her tone sinks, too. "I'm the one who ran off on a whim... I didn't even think to charge my phone before I left. When-- when I disappear, I'm always getting into trouble, and there's plenty enough people who still want me dead or detained. I must have worried her terribly..." And she looks miserable, thinking of that.
She swallows something down, again.
"Unfortunately, you had to see something private... please accept my thanks for your assistance and put it out of your mind." And Yuliana knows so much of privacy. The things she kept quiet...
She never did answer Sayaka's question.
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
Sayaka takes a looong sip of tea, and then places the cup down after Yuliana accuses her of accusing both her and her wife. "No, I wasn't intending to sound so accusatory." She looks down into her cup instead of directly into Yuliana's empty eyes.
Her eyes return to meet them again when Yuliana insists that it isn't like Sayaka laid it out at all. And Sayaka suspects that Yuliana genuinely does believe that but --
"Well. I don't like to compare relationships, but if that were me and Koji? I'd probably send one or two VERTEX at the most -- but no matter how much either of us gets into trouble, we always come back, even if there's some bruises and scrapes." Sayaka says that almost casually. "Remember when Tsutsujidai 'vanished'? We were apart for over a month, we missed the holidays and everything." She frowns, then. "Of course I worried and fretted, how could I not?"
But this situation? The way Yuliana tied both of them together - as if Sayaka was speaking about a unit? It's going to take a lot to untangle - in ways she's sure she can't in a single diner table conversation. "It just seemed to me she couldn't believe you'd be okay without her after all." She finishes, quietly.
"And I apologize for breaching your privacy like that." She replies, although.. she doesn't know if she can promise to forget that so easily. "You're welcome for the charger - it seems we avoided making things much, much worse."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"You should," Yuliana glowers down at the edge of the table, dwelling on Sayaka's apology. (The easiest thing to be stuck on. The easiest thing to lash out at.) "You've caused me quite a bit of embarrassment. But... I'll admit it was thanks to speaking with you I was able to address the situation so quickly."
Her eyes scrunch shut; if she stubbornly ignores the tears tracking down them, surely they don't exist. For a moment, she just breathes. She shouldn't say anything, of course; opsec, again, is something she knows perfectly well as an ex-special operative. But hearing about Koji disappearing for so long, she...
"I... disappeared for three days, once," Yuliana finally relates, and her tone is shallow. "When Denver malfunctioned... it was very hard on her. You know, when communications came back online, I got over a hundred messages all at once! It was just gentle probing, at first, but then it grew panicked, and then... cold. My Elisa just demanded to know, 'WHERE', again and again, over and over... I was so frightened. For -- for her, you understand," she adds, quickly, as her fingers twitch against her arms.
"Even though I hurried back, she'd destroyed the tower by the time I got there... there was so much blood," Yuliana's throat feels numb, relating it, all to match the distance in her eyes. "I'm sure that if I were gone much longer, she'd have torn this whole world in twain... of course," she hastens to add, again, "there's nothing wrong with that. It's not like I wouldn't kill her if she left me, let alone the bystanders! It's just..." Yuliana's voice drops, and drops right into that helplessness, for a moment: "it was an accident... but it's not her fault." This, too, is a fact of which she's certain. "She's so attuned to my wellbeing... she needs me. If I'm not with her, even if we only disagree, she suffers terribly... that's why it's the least I can do to reassure her."
And Yuliana's not just guilty about that.
"At least that way, we can avoid... what happens when I'm hurt."
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
"I have - and you're right. In return, why don't you just keep the charger for the trip home? I can easily get myself a new one, I mean, we quite literally make these." Sayaka offers - maybe out of fear of what Elisa might do if her phone dies again.
And then she just listens to Yuliana's story, about how she disappeared for three days, and how it seemed to all but tear apart Elisa's mental state. "Mm. Before Koji disappeared, he made me a promise. I clung to that promise like it was everything." Sayaka adds, to her own account of dealing with a missing partner. "But I guess I was never able to stop believing in 'us' even when we were dimensions apart."
The way Yuliana describes Elisa.. it's interesting, though. "If that's so.. then I probably got it backwards. She didn't believe she could be okay without you." She places her finger on her chin in thought.
"I don't know if I could stand being in a relationship like that!" She concludes, tone almost breaking the heavy weight of the conversation. "Not that I'm asking you to leave, or give up your marriage vows - and I certainly don't want to see you hurt, either. I just wonder.. if you've ever considered whether such a position is even fair for you?" Again - you singular, not plural.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"S--sure," Yuliana takes the offer, a touch haltingly. She doesn't like to be indebted to other people, but...
Sayaka's not the only one afraid of that.
She scowls, though, as Sayaka threatens the tone. "No wonder you're not married," she snaps, clutching herself tighter. "Talking as if you could 'stand' it -- love's not a thing you withstand. How can you be so selfish?!" Yuliana's on the attack again, and her vicious is, once again, undercut by the tears springing to her eyes.
Yuliana does unravel one of her hands, then, if only so she can bury her face into it. "Oh, but I'm one to talk, when I act so dreadfully... you know when she killed the Lieutenant Colonel for ordering me into Torrington, I yelled at her? I yelled at her! I resented Dr. Petrov getting hollowed out, even though my Elisa was just trying to make sure I could attend my job safely... oh, it wasn't until she tortured Pham into being tolerable when I disappeared in Denver that I was grateful at all." She doesn't mention the way that blew up in her face, though her head does jerk a little to the side in her fingertips, just so.
"Y--you should ask if it's fair for her," Yuliana insists, voice all a-wobble. "My Elisa does s-so much for me, and I'm so--so difficult, a-and thoughtless, and fickle... she's never let me down, a-aand here I am making you think s-she's some kind of m-monster! But she could never hurt me, you understand?! She's only ever loved me! She was there for me when n-no one else was, she-- she's always with me, there's no way she could abandon me! No one is as loyal, as faithful, as committed as she! I--if our situations were reversed-- she'd kill you for the sheer temerity of implying I'm unfair!"
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
The comment does make Sayaka flinch briefly. But she does regain her composure, when Yuliana explains what love actually is, and that she's selfish for not understanding it. "Precisely. For everything he is, I've never once felt like that with my feelings about Koji." She strikes back. "Even if the only reason we're not married is because he's denser than the broad side of a building." She still manages a grin despite the conversation they're having.
But just like before, Yuliana's indignant anger falls into self-hatred. "Thoughtless? There's no way that's true with how you're talking right now." Sayaka replies, sounding a little exasperated. "And some kind of monster? No, I don't think so. The way you describe her sounds.. all too real." ...Calculated. She frowns.
Once again the pattern repeats with Yuliana's last statement - outright stating that Elisa would kill her if she insulted Yuliana. At that point, she realizes the conversation is steadily crashing and burning far beyond control. So Sayaka just decides to throw in the towel here. "Alright. I'll admit I've breached a few steps too far in your personal lives. And I don't intend to pry any further than I've already seen. ...I wish you the best." Or implicitly, wish you better. "Just be safe on the way home, okay?" Maybe Yuliana's opinion on her has become very soured for daring to question her wife.. but she still doesn't wish harm upon her.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"If I wasn't-- if I wasn't, I'd have at least thought to..." But Yuliana can't quite finish her insistence about how thoughtless she is, because she's not entirely sure how it should end.
If she wasn't so thoughtless, would she have thought to charge her phone?
If she wasn't so thoughtless, would she have thought to call Elisa more often?
If she wasn't so thoughtless, would she have thought to stay home?
For some reason, she sobs.
"Y--yes, that's for the best," Yuliana agrees, still not quite looking up at Sayaka. "Just-- just put it out of your mind-- it's a private matter. I'm sorry, I..." She's apologising, of all things, despite the attitude she's presented in so many other arenas. "I-I just get so emotional, I lash out without thinking... it d-doesn't mean anything." And does she mean she's been lashing out at Elisa, in this conversation?
Charitably speaking, she might be apologising to Sayaka.
Well, two things can be true at once.
(And they frequently are, where Yuliana's concerned.)
"Yes, I... I'll be safe. A-all my best to Koji," which might mean she's not entirely poisoned on Sayaka, if she's offering such a cordial farewell. (Yet.) "Take care..."
And as soon as she notices her phone's fully charged up -- which surely doesn't take long, given the wonders of Photon technology -- Yuliana's attached to it again.
She really depends on her wife, you know? If it wasn't for Elisa, she might never calm down enough to make it back.
<Pose Tracker> Sayaka Yumi has posed.
"There's no need to apologize. For what it's worth, I'm still glad we can talk." Sayaka replies, even as Yuliana begins to break into tears. She's glad they could talk, because if nothing else, it provides an outlet for those tears.
"I hope you enjoyed your time in Fujinomiya.. and that you'll consider visiting again, too." She doesn't quite manage a smile, but she's not frowning anymore either.
Wishing the best for Koji, huh. "Well.. thank you. And take care, Mrs. Kafim." It's a clean farewell, to conclude a conversation that became all so messy.
Despite having the married life she wants, Sayaka Yumi does not envy the Kafims' relationship.