2022-12-20: Revelation Twofold, Affection Three

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<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.

"Mister Nagisa. Miss Ayanami. Excuse me."

As quickly as he appeared before Kaworu and Rei (which was quick indeed), Max snatches up both NERV pilots, paying no heed to the meal the two were partaking of. With nothing more than a meaningful glance to Vit, the three are gone.

Calibur and Borr may be predisposed to zip around Tsutsujidai, but Max has always found it more than a little undignified. The rush of motion pulls his shoulder-length hair back, and it sends his tie whipping over his shoulder in a very annoying fashion. Not to mention, it's hardly polite to carry a valued ally like Calibur carries bags of cat food, one teen under each arm.

Thankfully, the journey is over nearly immediately after it's begun. Inoue Hospital flashes by, then a few sets of stairs, until Max comes to a sudden halt just before a familiar hospital room.

"He's awake." Max offers, simply. "He's..."

The large man goes silent. Kaworu and Rei are put down with great care. Max reaches up, adjusting his large metal mask. His movements are... a little stilted. He's anxious about something.

"Please, go ahead. I must make my comrades aware of this development."

Once again, he's gone in a rush of motion.

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        Kaworu was not actually partaking of the meal, only keeping Rei company as she ate. But it probably looked that way at a quick glance, and it's not as though that's what the important thing would have been to Max. Junk has been repaired--he'd helped with the repairs, but hadn't been in when those repairs were completed and the machine booted up. Right now, he regards the updated computer with a thoughtful look, but when Max rushes into the Aya, Kaworu looks over at him from where he sits, legs crossed, on one of the stools at the bar.
        
        "Yes?" he says, right before Max picks him and Rei up. Kaworu doesn't struggle or resist or even ask what's going on. He simply lets himself be hefted and carried out of the Aya.
        
        It's easy to guess what would have Max in a state like this, after all. And it's only a short while before Kaworu is proven right. When he's put down, he looks at Max without speaking. There isn't time for that anyway; after encouraging them to head inside, he's gone again.
        
        For a few heartbeats, Kaworu bows his head. Whatever his thoughts are, he keeps them to himself. When he regards Rei, his composure is impeccable.
        
        "Shall we?" he says, as casual as if the two of them hadn't been swept here in a large man's arms.

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

Rei had been eating a simple meal. Rice and a cup of thin miso soup. Some tofu grilled with the kind of sauce you can get at a conbini. It was perhaps the largest meal she had had all day, potentially in a while. She has been staying rather the same with her visible health, but there had, assuredly, been no adventures in the culinary arts.

She hadn't minded Kaworu being present, of course. If anything, it was soothing. Rei looked up when Max spoke to them, blinking several times.

And then...

Rei sort of dangles from the arm-tuck, nonplussed. She turns her head to look towards Kaworu as if to wordlessly ask him: Do you understand this? She doesn't seem to, although she also doesn't seem to mistrust Max. And then:

FOOSH!

Rei sets down on her plugsuited feet. (It's still the suit.) Rei blinks once, though, and her face brightens even if it doesn't quite reach her lips and -

- He's gone.

Rei reaches up to push some hair back into place.

"... Yes," Rei says. There is, after all, only one person he could mean. And Rei turns to enter the hospital; she knows where he is, after all. (Unless he has already left? But that seems unlikely, thinks Rei, who knows something about life in a hospital.)

<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.

The inside of the room is much changed. Many of the monitors and complicated-looking have disappeared, leaving a lot more space for visitors. A phone with a twinned music note charm sits at a bedside table, connected to a wireless speaker. Soft music floats through the room. Next to it is a scarf -- one Yuta's been wearing regularly. It's still just as soiled and gross-looking as the last time the pair saw it.

Most notably, the young man who was sleeping here is awake! Awake and sitting up, propped on several thin hospital pillows. A A few monitors are still attached around his arm, but there's no more tubes in his throat.

Red hair is a little dingy from his extended slumber, but other than that, he really could be as good as new! The young man looks down at his hands, splayed in his lap. He doesn't look up when the door is opened.

"Max," he says, voice rough. There's a strange quality to it. If you could look at the sound of the young man's voice, it might have a metallic sheen. "I've decided."

But the sound of /two/ pairs of footsteps seems to surprise him. Looking up from his hands, Kaworu and Rei are greeted with something that's certainly changed. Yuta's eyes used to be blue, almost to an unreal degree. Overly-saturated and more beautiful than really made sense, like many things in Tsutsujidai.

Now, they're yellow. All that emotion and life that was present in Yuta's gaze has vanished, leaving them surprisingly dull.

"..." A long stare, at both teenagers. "Kaworu Nagisa. Rei Ayanami. I'm sorry. What Max is hoping for will not come to pass, even with you both here. I apologize for wasting your time."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        If the calm look Kaworu gives Rei back while they're being carried is any indication, he does understand it. He doesn't explain it, though. That comes by itself in time, right outside Yuta's hospital room. If the situation had still gone over Rei's head, he could have explained it then, but it turns out it's not necessary. Rei walks in first; Kaworu follows after, quietly shutting the door behind them.
        
        By all appearances, Yuta would seem to be back on his feet, so to speak. He might not be in the best shape, but he's awake and alert and responsive. But Kaworu is sensitive to more than appearances. He watches the young man as he mis-greets them as Max, then looks up at them with golden eyes bereft of all the brightness that Yuta used to express.
        
        "...I take it you're Gridman, then," he says quietly, unenthusiastic but also unsurprised. Nidaime had told him that Yuta and Gridman were one and the same ages ago, after all. What Max was hoping for, though... That has some interesting implications. He glances at his phone on the bedside table, playing soft music through the wireless speakers. Then he regards the golden-eyed young man again.
        
        "What's become of the you called Yuta Hibiki, then?"

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

The lack of medical equipment is immediately apparent to Rei, who takes it as an enormously good sign. Enough to make her stand a little straighter. He's here! Propped up, no long nearly as intubated. He could use exercise, and washing, but he is alive. He says something, thickly.

Throat?
The tubes?

But his eyes...

Rei wonders, for a moment. There is, of course, a possibility - but how could it be? How could it have happened here, in this mid-grade hospital short of supplies? How could such a thing be done, even here in the strange space of Tsutsujidai?

But Kaworu presents another option.

Her shoulders sink, a little. Rei shifts herself, arms folding.

"... Gridman," Rei echoes, gazing directly at the face of what could have been called Yuta Hibii.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"Yes." Gridman says to Kaworu, looking at him evenly. "If you intend to stay, please sit down. I don't wish to be a bad host."

Thankfully, Max dragged in a collection of folding chairs for Yuta's visitors. They're stacked against a wall, ready for use.

Gridman moves as little as possible. While he's healing well, the wound in his abdomen still hurts. He had no idea your core was used for so much movement until this moment. Yellow eyes follow Yuta's friends as they arrange themselves in the room, however they choose.

Perhaps it's unsettling, to see the face of a young man who used to smile and emote so much, now placid and dull.

Rei's motions are noted. "I am sorry to disappoint you. I didn't realize until this moment." Turning his gaze to Kaworu, Gridman goes on. "Yuta Hibiki was never here. I was always Gridman. I simply didn't remember."

Lifting his left arm, Gridman looks at the red wristband. Despite everything, it's still around his wrist, concealing the Primal Acceptor that lets him join with his larger self.

"The true Yuta Hibki has slept since my spirit came into his body. All this time, I unknowingly deceived you. For that, I am truly sorry."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        There are other possibilities... but Gridman confirms this one. When he bids Kaworu and Rei sit if they please, he walks over to where the folding chairs line the wall and fetches two. Handing one to Rei, he unfolds his, seats himself, and crosses his legs.
        
        When he apologizes again, Kaworu shakes his head. "No. Anosillus II told me your true identity months ago. She said she knew it was you the moment she saw you. She also asked me not to tell you; she thought it best for you to realize for yourself."
        
        It's for that same reason that he doesn't tell him the rest of what she said, that the Neon Genesis Junior High Students are also all Gridman, split into pieces. He does glance over at Rei, though. The both of them are in similar positions, aren't they...?
        
        "So I don't feel deceived," he continues, looking back at him. "Whether you call yourself 'Yuta Hibiki' or 'Gridman,' you are still the same person to me." A pause. "That being said, your demeanor has changed significantly since you regained your memories. When I spoke of the you who is Yuta Hibiki, I meant the you who we've been acquainted with until now--not the human named Yuta Hibiki, to whom that body belongs."
        
        That, at least, is a difference from Rei. Kaworu glances at her again, eyebrows sloped downwards in concern. What does she think about all this...?

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

Yuta Hibiki was never here.

Rei gazes at Yuta - or perhaps at Gridman. Perhaps it was always Gridman.

He apologizes. There is a true 'Yuta Hibiki,' but he was

Sleeping.

He was

Not there.

Rei is expressionless. This is typical; but it is a different sort of expressionlessness. There is not vacuity there. There is - searching? Silent, intense searching. The tension in the corner of her mouth gives it away.

The speech.
Movement.
A 'different person'.
The 'real' person.
Liar

Her head turns slightly towards Kaworu, and finally, Rei blinks. Then she looks back to Yuta. "..."

But:
I never knew 'that Yuta Hibiki.'
A Repli-Compoid.
An empty vessel, to hold something outside of that 'person's' self.

She seems like she's waiting on an answer.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Kaworu sits down. Gridman feels a little thrill of emotion in his heart at the other young man coming closer. Why? Those feelings don't belong to him. He can't help but notice how nice Rei looks in her suit. He's seen her in it before. Why now is he appreciating the way her hair falls around her face?

"Anosillus II." Gridman repeats. His yellow eyes blink once, twice, as he considers this. "I see. I wonder if it is truly for the best. I admit I am experiencing."

He looks at his hand again, then lets it fall to the bed. Yellow eyes meet Kaworu's gaze.

"Some distress."

Kaworu still views him the same way? Gridman certainly didn't expect this. If anything, he expected the boy Yuta confessed to to spurn him. At least Rei is reacting more reasonably. Her distress is understated, but clearly still present. It seems she trusts Kaworu to handle things, for the moment.

"The Yuta I thought I was." Gridman says, slowly. "Is certainly still present. Nothing has changed besides my perception. I still have all the memories I created as Yuta. I simply... Think it would be more appropiate to behave as my true self."

"I am not a human. I am a Hyper Agent." That metallic sheen to his voice only grows, now. "My duty is to destroy Alexis Kerib."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        Rei at his side, and Gridman before him, Kaworu looks from one to the other in turn. He notes the tension at the edges of Rei's lips, meets her gaze when she glances back at him; he takes in Gridman's admission, hears the metallic sheen in his voice. He nods once, slowly.
        
        "You fought him before all this, and he defeated you. That's why you and the Neon Genesis Junior High Students awoke in the states you were in," Kaworu states. Although he sounds certain, like he's reciting already known facts, he's really only voicing his deductions. He doesn't know for sure--waits for Gridman to confirm or deny it.
        
        But... so he does remember everything of when he was 'Yuta Hibiki.' This change in behavior is simply... returning to his original demeanor.
        
        There's something a little sad about that to Kaworu. He looks again at Rei. Thinking back, Bujack had managed to coax her to Tsutsujidai because she learned something she didn't want to know. Does she still feel that way...? He looks back at Gridman.
        
        "Regardless, I certainly won't impede you in your mission." A beat. "Though, if I may ask, if you've regained your memories, does that mean you know how to use the Fixer Beam now?"

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

A Hyper Agent.
Someone, from somewhere else.

Rei seems to lose at least a modicum of her tension when Gridman reveals that, at the least, there is the memory of who Yuta was. That if it was deceit, it was not knowing. There is not an agenda, thrown aside, here; or at least, if there is, he's managing to trick Kaworu too.

(It's not a very friendly calculation but Rei does not have very friendly thoughts, much of the time.)

"Fixer Beam?" Rei asks.

Her eyes remain on Yuta - Gridman - and she says, separately:

"Why couldn't you do it?"

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

A memory flashes before Gridman's eyes of a spear and a Devil. It feels so real, he almost cries out -- it's enough to bring a hint of emotion to those yellow eyes.

"He did." Gridman says, simply. His voice trembles. What is this? "Yes. And the reason Tsutsujidai has fallen into this state. If we had been successful, he would not have been able to pull Akane into his talons."

The Fixer Beam?

Yellow eyes go especially blank. Those words are familiar. Those words are /important/.

"...I don't know what that is. I should know what that is." Gridman brings a hand in to his chest. "I don't why I don't know what it is, or why I can't do it. The kaiju child must've told you about this as well. Did she offer any further information?"

It's not a demand. Kaworu can choose what he wishes to do. Gridman looks at Rei, now. She looks less tense. That's good. He doesn't want her to be tense. Maybe he can do something else to help her?

"Rei." Gridman tries. "I'm glad you're here."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        Kaworu's blood-red eyes crinkle with concern at Gridman's sudden tremble, at that sudden flash of emotion. He hadn't thought he would get that kind of reaction out of him... Kaworu chooses not to bring attention to it. It seems like the kind of wound that shouldn't be picked at.
        
        The Fixer Beam, though... So he still doesn't remember it, even now. Kaworu raises a hand to his mouth and chin in thought. When Alexis had used his spear on Renais, her memories had been scrambled too. This must be the same effect. Had he wanted to make him forget about that move...?
        
        "Yes," he replies, lowering his hand. "The Fixer Beam is a beam that fixes things." His tone doesn't convey even a hint of 'duh.' It's simply a fact, simply stated, shared with Rei and Gridman both. "Anosillus I is able to use something similar, called the Fixer Breath. I've seen him use it on Unit-01 before; it's quite effective." Rei hadn't been there for that battle, unfortunately; Kaworu had been deployed in Unit-00. "She feared that he would be too slow to use it on Alexis Kerib, however.
        
        "She suggested... that with this power, you would be able to fix even Alexis Kerib's cruel and twisted heart." With a hint of a certain emotion of his own: "To return him to the good man he used to be."
        
        Nidaime had encouraged Kaworu to tell Yuta--Gridman--about his shared past with Alexis. He hadn't quite told him back then, and he doesn't quite tell him now, either. But perhaps the implication will be enough.
        
        For now, though... Kaworu shakes his head. "...But if that knowledge evades you even now, there's nothing to be done. Alexis Kerib must be dealt with... one way or another."
        
        He pauses as Gridman tries to reach out to Rei verbally. He watches the two for a moment. He still has all his memories of the times they shared together; his change in personality is a choice, a belief that this is the appropriate way to behave. Kaworu looks back at Gridman, hesitation on his breath.
        
        Then: "If you are still the person we've known all this time, simply with your personal context regained... does that mean, along with your memories as 'Yuta Hibiki,' you still have the same feelings?"
        
        In other words: 'Do you still like me?'

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

He cannot do it.
And, he does not know why.

Rei blinks once. Something stirs in her. Something vestigal. Faint. An echo, perhaps, or the seed or shoot of something else inside of her. It stands out long enough and sharp enough that she inspects it with her mind's tongue, feeling around the contour. That place where it was...

It's near to something that -

Hurt?
It hurts?
It hurts?
It hurts?

"Understood," Rei answers Kaworu with a faint nod. She heard him even with the words echoing inside of her head. Or wordlike shape.

This beam - it could have repaired even Alexis Kerib.

A spell to make the world right.
Right?
Is it right?

Rei takes a deeper-than usual breath. "... Glad that I'm here," she echoes back, but it doesn't stop there.

"I know, that you wish me no ill, but, why are you glad that I'm here?" Rei says, looking towards the floor. "I don't know what... it is that you say, here. When I've tried, it didn't..." She takes another deep breath, lets it out, and raises her head.

"... I'm sorry," Rei says, but she doesn't turn away afterwards. She keeps looking at the person in the bed.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"An ability shared with Anosillus I..." Gridman murmurs. "Enough to 'fix' Alexis Kerib? I admit, I never knew he was a good man. Perhaps I did, once, but now, that knowledge is lost to me. How strange, that someone could change so drastically. If I do possess the capability for this, I must discover it immediately."

Gridman focuses for a moment. No matter how hard he grasps for this knowledge, it evades him. If it was ever there to begin with, Gridman has no way of knowing.

"Thank you, Kaworu. That would be the ideal way to solve this conflict." No new memories have been stirred. But it won't be for nothing. "I will redouble my efforts. Alexis Kerib, whatever he once was, will have to face a reckoning."

Rei doesn't understand what Gridman was trying to say. ...really, he doesn't know what he was trying to say, either. He just didn't want her to be upset. "I." Yellow eyes blink, slide to Kaworu, as if looking for assistance, then return to Rei. "Always enjoyed your presence. Before, and now. I like when you are near me. You're a reliable ally. I trust you in battle." Another noticeable pause. "I trust you. You always made me feel like I wasn't an outcast for existing the way I do. Even then." Even now.

Then...

Kaworu asks the question Gridman's been trying to keep his thoughts away from. He has no right to claim those feelings. They belong to someone else.

...

Do they?

Though he didn't know he was /himself/, every decision was still his own. Just... viewed through the lens of a repli-compoid. Yellow eyes flicker closed. When he thinks back to the concert he offered Kaworu those flowers...

His heart still speeds up.

Gridman's eyes open again. He focuses on Kaworu, feeling heat come to his cheeks. ...he always got embarrassed, thinking his cheeks would match his hair, and make his whole face look like a tomato. A quick breath out, and a long one in.

"Yes."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        "It's probably before your time," Kaworu states, knowing well how long that time might be. "Still, you're welcome, Gridman. I pray you do regain that knowledge."
        
        Meanwhile, he can imagine well that all this hurts Rei to hear. When she blinks, he's watching her. He can't read minds outright, but he has a powerful sensitivity, and he's known her for a very, very long time. The shape of this... to be broken like that, the edges must be jagged at times to her, especially now.
        
        So when she addresses Gridman, he keeps his silence. This is something that makes the two of them alike. It's a chance for them to bond. Though he does meet those yellow eyes when they turn his way, he won't--doesn't want to--interfere.
        
        So when Gridman tells Rei how he feels about her, Kaworu's handsome features soften with a smile--his first since he entered the room, despite how commonly smiles come to him. It only broadens when Gridman admits his feelings for him haven't changed, either.
        
        "I'm glad," he says quietly. "I've thought about it at length, and I've concluded that I care about both of you in return as well. To me, it looks as though you two care about each other as well. If you are both agreeable to it, we could all date each other." A beat. He sobers once more. "But... before that, there is something I must confess to you two."
        
        He pauses to let them both take that in. The tenor of this confession is far removed from the confession both of them made to him. "Gridman... before, you apologized for deceiving us unintentionally. I'm afraid I have been deceiving you both, and everyone else, intentionally. The truth is, I am not human either." He shifts his focus to Rei. "Rei, you might recall when I told you I don't need to eat. This is why."
        
        Looking at them both now, he concludes, "I, not unlike Anti and Anosillus II, am a kaiju."

        "Knowing this now... do you still want to be with me?"

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

Enjoyed your presence.
Before, and now.
Like when you are near me.
A reliable ally.
Trusted in batle.

Trusted.

Rei's face turns red. It's a deep flush even if it doesn't quite crawl down her neck. "... a," she says, barely, before looking directly at the floor for long moments. Long enough to encompass the entire statement from Kaworu, and the feeling inside of her -

What is it?

It rolls around. It's like inflammation and internal injury, Rei thinks, being unfamiliar with it almost entirely, though she has come near to it in the past. No: the only analogy is

that both of them feel warm.

Rei raises her head then - as Kaworu speaks -

She blinks, slowly, several times. Her shoulders settle back. This is enough of a disturbance, a surprise, to straighten her up and straighten her out from that hot flushed feeling that she wanted to curl into and treasure, all unconsciously, but --

Well, she doesn't seem THAT shocked.

"... I understand," Rei echoes herself, if more gently. Then she looks back to the person in the bed.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"Thank you, Kaworu."

Even though the other young man doesn't offer any help in addressing Rei, Gridman feels like he must've done alright as she blushes. It's... nice. It looks nice on Rei. Gridman is sure it doesn't look half as nice on him.

Kaworu smiles... He must've done alright. Gridman knows what smiling is like, but he's not used to being able to move his face. The opposing memories war within him for a moment, until he shakes his head slightly. Just try.

With effort, Gridman's lips tilt up. It's slow, and lopsided, but it /is/ a smile. He seems proud of that.

"Both of us." Gridman says. He can't hold onto the smile and talk at the same time, but there's a certain warmth in that metallic-hued voice. "All together. All of us."

"a" Rei says. Gridman considers this. It's certainly not a denial.

"All together." Gridman says, again. Kaowru has another confession?

Yellow eyes blink. They shift to Rei, as Kaworu's red eyes do, then back to Kaworu himself. "A kaiju..."

Gridman considers this, as well. Perhaps this was the truth of those rumors that Kaworu was a Coordinator? Anti himself has become kin to Gridman. Anosillus II has been a valuable ally. Kaworu has certainly never tried to destroy humanity or hurt Tsutsujidai.

"Yes."

That's not enough. He remembers the effort he'd gone to as Yuta. Effort knitting his brow together, Gridman slides toward the edge of the bed. It's slow, and it certainly hurts -- sweat breaks out under his red bangs. After what feels like ages, he's made it to the edge. Swinging his legs off the edge, he tries to put his weight on them--

And promptly sits back down. No. No no no. That is a /bad/ feeling. Stars burst in Gridman's vision, blocking out Kaworu and Rei for a moment.

Instead, he reaches his hands out, one for Kaworu, one for Rei. He can only make it halfway to them, but maybe that's for the best. "I want to be with you. Both of you. I'm not who I was. But my feelings haven't changed. Whatever you are, it doesn't matter to me. You're Kaworu. That's what I care about."

<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.

        The sight of Rei's pale skin blooming scarlet is charming. So, too, is Gridman's slow, unsure attempt at a smile of his own. Kaworu gives a breath of a fond giggle to see them both. His humor fades some as she stares at the floor for a time, and Gridman falls silent to consider what he's said. But...
        
        Given that she's had hints of it already, it makes sense that Rei isn't that shocked. But Kaworu honestly didn't expect that Gridman would take it in such stride, too. Is it because of how his relationship with Anti changed recently? Nidaime's always been a stalwart ally, too.
        
        But... both of them seem more than willing to go along with his selfishness. Rei says she understands; Gridman goes to the trouble of pulling himself upright, despite his lingering injuries. Kaworu gets up from his seat in muted alarm, even, reaching out to steady his shoulders when he collapses back on the bed.
        
        "You mustn't push yourself. You're still recovering," Kaworu chides him gently. However, Gridman takes that hand of his into his own, and Kaworu pauses to listen. What he has to say brings another soft smile to his lips, and his eyes seem to waver as if with tears. But no tears fall; he simply bows his head with a light breath of a laugh, then reaches out his other hand to Rei to complete the triumvirate.
        
        "...Thank you, both of you," he murmurs. "Given NERV's mandate, I hope you understand why this isn't something I share lightly." He lowers himself back onto his chair. "Then, Gridman, once you've fully recovered... and Rei, if you're amenable... I'd like it if we could go out on a date together."
        
        He won't stop loving Shinji, too. That hasn't changed. But they both know that and have accepted that too. If they can accept that... then perhaps he can go on being selfish after all.

<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.

Those rumors were certainly something, weren't they?

And as for Rei, her opinion on Tsutsujidai's housing situation aside, she has been there quite a few times. She bled for this place, even if she has plenty of blood.

Gridman - Yuta? - reaches out; Rei steps forwards, clasping his hand. It's warm through the glove of the plugsuit; it is almost an invisible presence, given how flexible and dextrous the material is. She looks over towards Kaworu, then, and --

--

"Yes," Rei says.

A date. The thought echoes through her mind. A warm ripple in the vast still pool.

"... I don't know how to do that," Rei concludes, looking towars Yuta - Gridman? - in case, perhaps, he does.