2022-11-02: Disobedience
- Log: 2022-11-02: Disobedience
- Cast: Leina Ashta, Sayla Mass
- Where: Villa Mass
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-11-02
- Summary: Leina breaks some news to her guardian, and they work through the rest of it together.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
>can we talk when u get home?
There's not the same vibe as before. Leina isn't obviously angry, or upset. In fact, it's strange, different in a way Sayla has never really experienced from her.
When Sayla does get home, she'll find Leina waiting for her in a violet sweater, a pair of jeans, and sneakers...
... outside of Sayla's office in her wheelchair.
Leina does smile at her and tells her, "Welcome home." However the warmth is subdued. If anything she feels... guilty? Anxious? Leina has never really troubled Sayla by doing anything 'wrong'. Oh certainly the two bicker, and both have made mistakes. However, if she gets in trouble at school, it was never because she was in the wrong.
She's never done anything that's forced Sayla to truly have to punish her. Frustrate? Certainly. Maybe put her foot down on occasion, to tell her no rarely when she's being especially stubborn, but not punish.
Leina doesn't say anything at first, not until they're in a more private setting. It's only then that she breaks her silence, after taking a deep breath, "I need to apologize to you. I spoke to Captain Zinnerman recently, and in that conversation I revealed a piece of intelligence to him. I did it because I deemed that it was the right thing to do based on the circumstances, but that makes it no less a violation of your trust."
Leina's seagreen eyes look at Sayla with a certain conviction even in this moment, but there's still that anxiety there. Because Sayla's trust does mean a lot to her. And this has never... really happened, it's uncharted territory, for them both...
"I understand that even if I felt it was the right thing to do in this scenario, that it might have consequences I can't predict, thus making even what I felt to be the right decision still selfish and irresponsible. And thus I make no excuses for my behavior."
She folds her hands in her lap and laces her fingers together, "After you hear the circumstances I am willing to accept whatever punishment you deem fit."
She doesn't really know what to expect here. She's never really been... truly punished save by Glemy in her entire life. All she knows is that she messed up - doesn't want to hide it - and wants to make an attempt at making this right.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla's trip to the Frontier Fleet was, thankfully, a successful one. Now she has to wait on the response from Miss Nome and her manager. As a result she has decided to bring back something nice- some micronized chocolate from a fancy chocolatier- and it was fascinating to see a macronized Zentradi making it, able to make out the tiny movements that would otherwise be invisible to her. There's two large boxes- one for Judau, one for Leina- and two smaller ones for herself and Roux.
She gets the text when she's coming down from the orbit ring, and concern crosses her face.
>Of course. -Sayla
"Thank you," Sayla says with a smile, but she can already tell something is amiss. She opens the door to her office, and waits for Leina before following in and sitting down at the table. She stops at the small cabinet she keeps drinks for entertaining business associates for a moment, but goes to sit at her desk. Not now.
Once she's settles, she doesn't have time to ask as Leina tells her everything unprompted. Her walls have still not recovered, and feelings creep out. Fear, frustration. disbelief, disappointment, concern, curiousity, even a touch of anger. But she doesn't let them show on her face, trying to hide them. This is uncharted territory for them both. Sayla takes a deep breath.
"...Okay. Tell me what happened. I'll reserve my judgment until after you finish." She can't stop her emotions right now, but she can make a firm statement that might ease Leina's fears.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's head is suddenly set aswim with the complex and myriad emotions that Sayla feels in this moment. True to her word, she keeps her walls up, even if only at the most basic of levels. It doesn't feel good though.
It doesn't feel good to spring this on her right now. However, it would feel worse to hide it, to pretend it never happened.
She can't do that to her.
Sayla at least despite all those emotions gives her a chance to explain, tells her she'll reserve her judgment. "I contacted him over a secure line to talk to him after discovering that the Federation decided to crack down on Sweetwater as a result of Full Frontal putting a Beam Tomahawk through the ceiling of Char's mansion. I was trying to negotiate certain things in regards to Marida and..."
Pause, then its like she's rephrasing as well, "... to be candid, Mineva and Banagher still care for the man. I don't think it's impossible to manage a full defection of his crew from the Sleeves in the future. However it's complex given the economic situation in Palau, making their families effectively hostages."
Her eyes flick downward, "During our talks he told me of how Full Frontal requested Banagher's Haro to analyze for intelligence on Banagher himself, and the Unicorn - it had been on the Garencieres. He didn't hand it over, and instead is smuggling it back to us. He instead used a replacement one, scuffed it up, changed the times in the logs, and copied enough files over to make it appear to be his."
Her eyes now fully close, and she takes a deep breath, "He also revealed that he believes Full Frontal wanted it so he could make another attempt at capturing or coercing Banagher to cooperate - namely to activate the NT-D."
There's a prolonged pause, and Sayla can feel a growing dread within her... because she knows this will be hard on her. Opening her eyes, she looks Sayla in the eyes again, "So that Full Frontal can summon Amuro, for him and the Sleeves to fight."
She lets that sink in, "He also revealed to me that there is another Zabi heir. That Garma had a daughter out of wedlock..."
Again a pause, this is rough, all of this is rough, "...in Britannia. One Emilia Eschonbach. She attends Ashford Academy. His crew was doing surveillance on her because of how they suspect she's been mistreated."
She can get to the rest of that later, but for now...
"After giving it lengthy consideration, I understood that the Sleeves' intelligence on Triple Zero was... lacking. I revealed to him that summoning Amuro would result in the Sleeves being slaughtered. At best they would only drive him back, that they could not win. That it requires special powers of purification... though I did not say what those powers were or how to achieve them."
Leina's seagreen eyes fasten onto Sayla again as she gives her her reason, "I did this because from all I've read of Char Aznable, he was not above using his people to wear down Amuro before their duels. And Full Frontal's best pilot for doing so would be... Marida. I understand it was selfish of me to do so, but if I didn't, then she would almost certainly die in vain."
Leina won't say it. That if she let Marida die when she could have done something to prevent it, that she wouldn't be able to look at herself in the mirror ever again. And Leina knows, it's difficult enough for her to look herself in the mirror already. It has been ever since that night in Dakar.
She could say that, but she feels it would be emotionally manipulative of her in this moment to tell Sayla that.
"That's everything."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
%So far, Sayla listens. Leina's methods are sound- but there's a spike of terror as Leina says she was negotiating things. She was trying to avoid this. Sayla calms herself soon after. "...That doesn't surprise me. They're fundamentally family at this point, I'd imagine." Sayla knows how the bonds on board ship can form. And be broken.
Sayla left hand starts tapping on her, partially agitated, but also thinking. She won't pass judgment, but she can start thinking. And then comes the one two three punch. Sayla breathes in sharply, this is. Not. What she wants to hear. But it's useful information. Very useful. She continues to tap, pause, tap, pause.
It's the mention of Garma Zabi having a daughter that causes her... dismay. "...I see. So it's not just Mineva, and the Sleeves know about her. Another potential banner to rally around- and if the Sleeves know about her how long until the Earth Zeon cells do?"
Leina finally takes this assessment, and nods. "...Of course. A half hearted clone of Char would do things half heartedly." Sayla's voice *seethes* with resentment. "Char would absolutely use people to wear us down, discard them like garbage." The resentment becomes personal hurt. "But he would insist on fighting Amuro alone. It was too personal, he had to prove himself the better. He simply couldn't move on from losing Her." She pauses. "...I wonder if Full Frontal even knows who she is."
She pauses for a long time, thinking about it. "...That's *truly* everything?" She needs to know any missing data. So she presses Leina a little. "That's the total extent of your actions using our intelligence for your partners?" She knows Leina hates lying- but sometimes even she will.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina tips her head into a nod. She can understand it as well given her time on the Argama, even if it was more limited than the White Base. In a way Beecha and Mondo are fundamentally family to her too - a fact that she still has trouble reconciling.
The topic of the other Zabi heir, "It might only be the Garencieres that is aware. If it was truly a Sleeves operation - then I doubt he'd reveal it. However he did say his surveillance was to keep her safe from other Zeon sympathizers as well."
There's a flinch, and it's not because of anything Sayla's saying, the emotional tenor just hits her like an unintentional blow. Leina tries her best not to show it otherwise, and... "I don't know. It wouldn't surprise me if he did."
She'd swear that Full Frontal's understanding of the driving forces of the world is... superficial, shallow. However, he certainly knew a lot, and she wonders if the reason is not just better intelligence, "However... Mineva did not."
Sayla asks if that's truly everything, and so she's pressed, and Leina's eyes blink, and then she looks upwards, struggling to recall if there was anything. It looks at least like she's not genuinely hiding anything or lying. Eventually however, she comes up with something. "We discussed Full Frontal's origins. That didn't come from anything you shared with me - but from his own mouth."
Leina brings out her phone and taps it, scroll scroll - tap... and...
... a recording plays.
-haps I am a disgrace, Mineva Lao Zabi, for what else remains for one who staked everything on a mad dream, only to realize it was futile in the end? I was born of the psychoframe, torn apart and put back together piece by piece, hollowed out and emptied to become a vessel of the people. My ideals as Char were foolish and meaningless, and I have awoken from the pitiful fantasies the Red Comet once held so dear. There is nothing to be gained from burning out as a comet hurtling through the abyss, shining bright in the night sky.
She taps again, to hit end.
"I told him what I believed he was as a result of that - and that the Commander of the Sleeves is likely a puppet of someone else."
She puts her phone back away shortly after, and there's this small shake of her head, "I genuinely can't think of anything else we discussed."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"I see." Her voice is quiet, and restrained. She's hardening her walls now. She has to make a decision and she won't let Leina feel that process. The recording, however, causes steel in Sayla's eyes. That's *his* voice, but...
Could her brother truly have become so empty? Had he survived?
He could have survived. And you don't know what's worse.
She bites back the bile rising in her throat. "Understood." Sayla takes a deep breath again, and then another. This is what she'd fought so hard to keep Leina from, and now...
"...While your decision had value, it was still reckless. I am disappointed in you. But at this point, you're far too enmeshed in everything to stop." She looks down. "I had hoped that the ghosts of Degwin Zabi's betrayal would stop haunting our family..." She says it without thinking, and moves on, opening her desk draw and retrieving something small. She slides it across the table to Leina, and flips it over.
A playing card featuring the stylized Shuffle Crest of Queen the Spade.
"...This is the first part of your punishment."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
To her credit, Leina keeps her walls up as well enough that she doesn't try to feel Sayla out more than reaches through them during this process.
When Sayla says she's disappointed in her, her green eyes close, and there's just an incline of her head. Honestly, her disappointment is enough of a punishment in and of itself to her...
... she isn't used to being a disappointment to anyone. It takes her a moment to recompose herself enough under the weight of that, before it registers, 'too enmeshed to stop' and her eyes again, and she gives her a confused look. Like she's genuinely not understanding where this is going.
The confusion becomes even more rife when Sayla talks of Degwin Zabi's betrayal, and how it's haunting our family.
She almost asks in that moment- 'Is there something I don't know about the Mass family? About Edouard?' Because she can't understand how it's... relevant, save Sayla's participation in the One Year War.
The question though is cut off as she slides the playing card across the table to her and... flips it over.
Her eyelashes flutter, "Huh? I mean - I'd be happy to do charity work with Chibodee if that's what you feel is-"
And then her voice just trails off as it sinks in. 'Too enmeshed in everything to stop'. She isn't stupid. She can pick up on the context clues. It just didn't occur to her that Sayla would ever... do this, involve her beyond how she is passively, even with the playing card right in her face. Such that it took her a moment.
"My punishment is..." Slowly the wheelchair rolls up enough that she can pick up the card, and suddenly her voice sounds even smaller, "... but I. I violated your trust."
She's certainly confused, but there's a touch of sadness too, as she knows she disappointed her, "I don't understand why you'd offer me even more."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla nods. "You did. And you've picked up a lot of information that is dangerous to handle and you've used it without consultation. So you'll be overseen by one of your superiors in the alliance from now on, and you'll have to act with that in mind. There will be restrictions, monitoring- and you won't be working in the field." She lets that sink in, before continue. "If you're going to take actions like this with sensitive information, you have to do so safely. Am I clear?"
She's keeping the mask of Heart-2 on for now. The walls are starting to slip no matter how much mortar she's thrown up. "This is effective tomorrow morning, when there will be two missions for you to organize and enact without involving yourself- and this remains provisional- and can be revoked at any time."
Here, now, is when Sayla takes the mask off. If Leina doesn't understand why this is a punishment... "...This is one of the last things I wanted for you, Leina. I wanted you to get ready to go to college, study, and life as quiet and happy a life as you could. And now my only option is to pull you back into the warzones Judau tried so hard to pull you out of, and I desperately tried to keep you from. Maybe you would have chosen this anyway... but now it's no longer a choice."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina lets herself absorb how it's going to be from now on. "You are."
Two missions. Despite being around the Alliance for the past Eight Years, she never actually thought she'd be a part of it. She's not actually certain how she feels about that. She hasn't even begun to process it. She can hear the voice of command in that, and so...
"Very well."
When Sayla takes the mask off, she reveals how it's a punishment. That it's no longer a choice of whether she's a part of this life or not. And Leina stares at the playing card. Then at Sayla, there's a slow sad blink of her eyes.
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all." The sadness carries through to her voice, and it's not sadness for a choice lost when it comes to the direction of her life - because in this case, all of her choices led her to this point.
Maybe if she hadn't met Banagher that day, hadn't gotten wrapped up in this conspiracy - or any number of things thereafter she might have kept moving forward in the quiet life.
However she didn't.
While she hasn't fully processed, she understands that she can't separate her life from this now. That this is in fact what she must do...
... so why does she say it's not fair?
Because her sadness isn't for her. For choices and opportunities lost, how she must be a part of this life now. "It's supposed to be my punishment, and now it's more yours, and Judau's..."
It's not for her at all. Even now in this moment, she can't mourn the path not taken. Only how the path she's taken is affecting the people she cares about.
"...I'm sorry." Leina offers one last soft apology, for it having come to this.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
The mask down now, Sayla stands up, and walks over to kneel next to her. She puts a hand on Leina's shoulder. At another time, this would be bad form. But right now it's deeply important.
Punishments can be cruel, but they don't have to be. And you certainly don't have to be cruel when you deliver them.
"No, it's not. But it is a punishment for you too, and I need you to understand why." Sayla takes a second to lower her walls again. There is still frustration and anger, but overwhelmingly sadness and concern. "Knowing why is the punishment, and it's an awful one. But I won't let you crush yourself with your own despair."
She grabs Leina in a careful hug. "This doesn't have to be forever, pollito. If I have anything to do with it, it will become your choice again. But until this matter with the Unicorn and the Sleeves is dealt with, this is how I feel it has to be." It feels... slightly twisted. Maybe it is. But this was a breach of trust that could have endangered so many people.
She takes another deep breath. "I want you to know something, too. Any Shuffle Alliance member that has been cleared can make a case to recruit someone. You've been cleared for a while if anything happened." This might be a small beacon of hope, but she's not going to spell it out for Leina.
"We're not require more from you than we do of Miss Chidori, or Yuta and Rikka. You can still go to school and everything." She finally releases Leina from the hug, but keeps her hands on her shoulders.
"Now, there's one thing I need you to do for me. Not as a member of the alliance, but as Leina. Are you okay to hear it?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Sayla kneels down in front of her and Leina's seagreen eyes meet hers in this moment, however there's just sadness - because she knows this is going to be hurting her so much. It just seems representative of how the scars of the past, the trauma have drawn her back in.
How she just can't leave it behind...
...despite all the sacrifices everyone has made, so that she'd be able to.
Maybe she could tell herself years ago it was just for Elpeo and her sisters, that involvement, but that otherwise she was an elementary schooler - a middle schooler - a high schooler. But in the past four months she's just twisted herself up more and more in the threads of all of this.
Sayla grabs her in that careful hug, and after a moment she puts her arms around her in a relaxed hug, her grip only subtly increasing after a moment, "I... understand."
She understands, she's dealing with sensitive information, and she hasn't always been the most careful with it - and it doesn't matter that it didn't come from Sayla's lips, or from the Alliance. She's still dealing with matters far beyond what even most intelligence operatives have to deal with.
"... It's the right call."
Leina says after a moment, because she's responsible by her nature and realizes that she needs this, this framework in her life right now.
"I do need this."
She's been in over her head for a while.
Leina's eyes flicker with surprise at the idea that she can make a case to recruit anyone. And she understands the implications. "Ah. I'll... I'll keep that in mind." There is this more hopeful surge within her at that moment, though it's still restrained, because she's still processing this turn of events.
Judau at least she could make the case for. Banagher... Banagher needs more time.
Eventually Sayla drifts back from the hug but keeps her hands on her shoulders, and Leina's hands fall back to her lap.
"Okay. Right now it might even be helpful with..." Leina looks down at herself in the wheelchair. She had been going a bit stir crazy given her very active life. "...I promise I'll do my best not to disappoint you any further, going forward. Especially not with the work I do."
One thing she needs to do for her, not as a member of the Shuffle Alliance, but as Leina? Leina tries her best to focus, this is all happening so fast, but she's resilient, and she homes in on Sayla's eyes as if to tell her she's paying the utmost attention and taking it very seriously. "I am. Name it."
SCENESYS: Liam 7-020 has posted scene #193, 'There Will Be Bloodshed', at 19:00 ET on 11/06.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
his still feels awful, dropping this on Leina. But she needed to hear it, as far as Sayla feels. The fact that Leina tells her she understands cushions it a little but... neither of them wanted this. "It might. Just please don't work yourself too hard. More responsibilities means managing them appropriately."
Hypocrite.
"I know you will." That was never in doubt, not for one second. She knows Leina didn't want to disappoint her here, either. She just had to do what she felt was right. That still didn't make it okay. The fighters at the top might disagree.
"I want you to see if Captain Zinnerman will meet me. One of mine and one of his for protection, on neutral ground. If you need to give him incentive... I think I know who is pulling the strings." She pauses, again, squeezing Leina's shoulder gently. "More importantly though, I need to talk to him. Guardian to guardian."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
'Don't work yourself too hard' earns the first smile Sayla's seen out of her since this began. It's thin, and a bit wry, but at least right now she doesn't call her on her hypocrisy. After all, right now this is supposed to be her punishment - and scolding Sayla feels out of the spirit of things in that sense.
"I'll figure it out. Right now I have time to make the adjustments and catch myself up to speed. It'll make it easier once I'm on my feet again to figure out the time management."
It feels good at least to hear that Sayla knows she will do her best not to disappoint her, that despite her messing up here that - nothing has fundamentally changed in their relationship. That was certainly a source of anxiety for her - because she has never learned how to weather a punishment and still maintain a positive relationship with someone. In fact, she's never been punished at all - save by Glemy.
It was irrational, but it was still a worry that the moment she did something worthy of a punishment that... something between them would forever change.
And what she asks... Leina's eyelashes flutter as if she wasn't sure she heard her right. Then she just nods slowly, "Of course. I'll set it up. He should still be Earthside."
Leina gives her a questioning look, "Is it anything I should be worried about?" It's clear at least it won't affect her setting things up and that she wouldn't say anything...
... but part of her still wants to know.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla nods slowly. Leina's hardly bad at this. "Alright. I'll trust you to work it out. Just reach out if you need to." She can't smother her here- though a part of her wants to. Leina's got to find out her way. And that means Sayla has to swallow her fear and let her.
Sayla shakes her head. "I can't tell you until tomorrow." She reaches up, standing a little awkwardly- she still has a cast, for all the hugging she's done. Still, she smiles a tired smile when she does so.
"Thank you for telling me." This really was a position where it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. "Now, why don't we get out of here, hm?" She wants Leina to know things are still okay between the two of them- and Leina already took the first steps in ensuring she could still be trusted. "I had a business meeting yesterday that I think you'll want to hear about."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"Thank you. I will."
... is what she says at least, and she means it in the moment. Who knows once she actually starts getting swept up in her new duties? She lives a very active life too, where spare moments feel like ones she has to fill with... something productive.
Sayla stands up awkwardly and...
"Alright."
She doesn't press of course, if she's not telling her, there has to be a reason.
"Of... Of course." She says somewhat shakily, as she's still coming down from this all these emotions, her nerves still a bit frayed, "I'd never hide something like this from you."
She has to reassure herself of that, to make certain that while things have changed in these moments, that some things have not. "Alright. Maybe a late dinner together?" She tries her best to smile, feeling at least somewhat relieved, calmer as she realizes things are going back to some level of normal.
"Oh yeah?" She asks, and then there's something of a tease in her voice, "Which Britannian Princess was it this time? Tell me you at least got more than three hours of sleep before it started..."
Sayla's gonna catch her entirely flatfooted this time when she learns the truth.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"A late dinner sounds nice. I even brought back some dessert with me." Sayla's just as happy to give Leina some normalcy now, after everything. "Have we got anything left in the fridge we can just heat up?"
Sayla smirks at that little tease. "Oh no, I got a full night's sleep and she wasn't suffering from head trauma." She rubs her chin. "Anyway, no royalty this time. She's a singer from the Macross Fleets, actually. She wants to do some charity work, you might have heard of her. A young lady named..." She pauses for effect, letting the anticipation build.
"...Sheryl Nome?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"Maybe. Depends on how recently Judau's raided it."
There's exasperation, but it's only faint exasperation. Their household food budget has gone up so much but she knows they can afford it. It's just the principle of the thing sometimes!!!
Leina lets ut a small laugh, "A rarity, on both counts." She winks at Sayla, "The stars must have aligned."
However there's a pause, and as the anticipation builds around this mystery singer from the Macross Fleets...
"Wait wait you can't mean-"
'...Sheryl Nome?'
It catches Leina so off guard that she actually gets a brief squeal of girlish delight out of her, "EEE! Oh my gosh! I-"
Leina seems to realize what just came out of her lips, and her cheeks briefly puff up with embarrassment and contained excitement as she clamps down and tries to calm herself into something resembling dignity.
She gets there eventually! "I mean - tell me everything."