2022-09-09: Identity and Signed 'Intent'
- Log: Identity and Signed 'Intent'
- Cast: Ruri Hoshino, Athrusa Hsieh, BC-001 Minae
- Where: The Nadesico (Germany)
- Date: 2022-09-09
- Summary: Athrusa, Minae, Ruri, and Omoikane have a digital conversation together about Athrusa's purpose and existence.
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
The Nadesico always has new things to see to; ferrying people about, taking care of Grasshoppers throughout Earth, delivering packages... being on-call just in case, too. Thanks to the efforts of their sizable crew, they're able to juggle all these demands without too much issue, even if it means they're always jetting from place to place.
(Ruri hasn't said much about the assault on the MAGI, except to apologise to everyone for the trouble. She is, as ever, focused on her work.)
Right now they're situated in a coastal German port, loading up some medical supplies to deliver to a Nergal-associated settlement troubled by war. Mr. Prospector has heard a thing or two about someone who might be -- no, don't use the words 'a future asset' -- in need of assistance, and so a certain surgeon has been offered an invitation to come liaise with the Nadesico. On the surface, the invitation is about giving context to the medical supplies to make sure the Nadesico gets them to the right people, but...
The Co-Helmswoman, Erina Kinjo Won, resident accountant Mr. Prospector, and systems operator Ruri Hoshino receive her, in the cargo bay, to hear what she has to say. Once all the medical explanations have been made, Erina nods, closing her eyes and folding her arms. "... simple enough! Very well, we'll see to it."
Mr. Prospector adjusts his glasses, and mutters, "... she's really used to being in charge..."
"What was that?" Erina interrogates him, opening an eye to glare at him.
"Nothing, nothing!" Mr. Prospector assures her, waving his calculator amenably.
Ruri Hoshino -- a thirteen-year-old girl in a rather small version of Nergal's operations uniform, pale hair on pale skin and gold, gold eyes -- hasn't quite stopped staring at Athrusa throughout the explanation, though. She's said little, but to plug in instructions and directions into the tablet she's carrying with her.
She speaks up, now: "Dr. Hsieh, before you leave, can I talk to you?"
Erina sighs, and waves a hand, with vague permissibility, as she turns and heads away. "I have pre-flight checks to see to," she insists. Mr. Prospector smiles, conciliatory, and dips his head as he heads that-away too.
(And if BC-001 Minae isn't already in the cargo bay, he stops off briefly to send her a message and send her that way. For some mysterious reason. It's probably fine.)
There's certainly a sense, though, that the Nadesico is lived-in -- that there is something animate to it. Ruri's expression is stoic and unsmiling, looking to Athrusa, but there may be the vaguest sense...
... that she's nervous?
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
Athrusa is finding the power of the Shuffle Alliance to be powerful indeed; when she expressed that she needed assistance, she was first directed to Leina, who helped her through the worst and most immediate of crises. She's also been made aware that there may be other venues of assistance with her unusual... circumstance.
And so she is here today, onboard the Nadesico, explaining the goods that she's brought from the coastal port city; white-haired, pale-skinned and dressed in a white suit with a doctor's coat above it, Athrusa is... the very epitome of not knowing what colour is.
She bows gently to Erina and says in that monotone of hers, barely above sotto voce, "Then, I shall leave the goods under your care. There are references on each crate should the client require any additional aid or instruction."
Her gray eyes passively gaze between Prospector and Erina jabbing at each other... but her attention is drawn towards Ruri's before long.
Athrusa's been on her best behaviour -- the Nadesico is a client, so she doesn't reflexively spread herself all over the ship's systems on the nanomachine layer, even if she's tempted...
"Ah... yes," Athrusa answers, with another bow of her head, her hands placed in front of her politely. ... there's two quiet, stoic and unsmiling characters here.
Help, Minae!
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae has vaguely heard about goings on in NERV via the various grapevines she has access to. The robot is perhaps a little sad about not being able to help out somewhere where her rather unique skillset would be perfectly suited - but on the other hand, she isn't too proud to admit that the idea of directly interfacing with a killer virus is not something she feels like doing any time soon. For a robot, she muses, she really tends to distance herself from technology.
It's enough to bring her down to the Nadesico to check up on things there. Ruri isn't the most expressive individual in the world, and while Minae is prepared to say that the Nadesico is probably a better learning and working environment than the Ra Mari, she's not sure whether anyone on board is particularly versed in looking out for the emotional needs of a small girl. ... not that Minae's very good at reading her either - her mannerisms are much different to Arriety growing up - but the only way to learn is to try.
What she's definitely good at is lending a hand, and it doesn't take her long at all to inventory and confirm the various medical supplies that are being sent out. By the time the logistical conversation is over she's finished ticking down a checklist on a clipboard, several notes about the need for careful packing and temperature controls that should be used filling up the margin of the sheet of paper.
"I've supplied some extra information, if that's alright. It's been some time since I was in a laboratory or a hospital, but I still remember some of the more volatile chemicals and how best to handle them," says the robot nurse as she hands it back over to Athrusa, all smiles. "Please feel free to check it over for any mistakes. I'd be grateful if you can spot anything I've missed," she adds with complete sincerity, always eager to learn.
Ruri's hesitancy makes her pause and glance over to the smaller girl between them; she blinks a few times as she digests that, then looks back to Athrusa. What she _has_ gathered from Ruri is the fact that the girl's stoic indepedence probably means she shouldn't just directly encourage Ruri to speak in case it's embarrassing. If she takes a cue from the Nadeisco itself, then--
"Hehe. I think the Operator's just impressed," she natters brightly. "You're very young for a doctor, and very striking. Maybe she's found a new role model? Though, it's kind of amazing to see her awed like this," she hums.
--give her leeway to call you a fool.
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
The two of them aren't so different, in some ways -- pale skin, pale hair, saved by a uniform. Ruri's eyes may well be more vibrant, though. They are so, SO gold: gold as a bar, gold as a fish, gold as a conductor.
What they don't conduct are her feelings, from her heart to her face. It is still and stoic as the pond. Though -- not totally emotionless; there's the shadow of a frown on her face, as she chastises Minae, right on time. "Fool."
Comedic timing has a power all its own on the Nadesico!
"No," she says, with a light shake of her head, as she looks back to Athrusa. "I wanted to ask..." Her fingers curl, slightly; she doesn't intrude. "Are you a person with cybernetic enhancements, Dr. Hsieh?"
Her voice is still quite steady; she gives no indication as to why her question lingered before it landed.
(She might have just asked her directly, more directly than this, but -- after the way Grace took her connection...)
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
"Ah... yes, thank you," Athrusa does that reflexive business-like bow again in response to Minae, "I will review the supplemental information and verify their contents."
She blinks a few times, as Minae calls her young and striking -- she glances down for a moment, then to Ruri. The gold in her eyes... yes, it is gold as a conductor would be. But Ruri calls Minae a fool, which confuses Athrusa for a moment--
But then what she wants to ask is... is she a person with cybernetic enhancements?
"I, ah... perhaps this is better answered by..."
A pause, and she hesitantly glances around the room...
She instead answers by just -- letting her nanomachines out, reaching out for a connection to both Ruri and Minae as her own eyes start to course with a resplendent colour in turn.
On the cybernetic level, there's... a chibi version of Athrusa made entirely out of boxes, knocking on their proverbial main door, asking for permission and acknowledgement, indicated by a cute 'PING!' speech bubble above her.
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae gets the appropriate response, and all she does is look quietly pleased with herself, humming in satisfaction as she gets called a fool. At least it's spurred the question out of Ruri, which is what she was going for in the first place. She blinks her eyebrows upwards at it, and looks towards the doctor with a new appraisal. Minae is much too polite to go around trying to pick people for a connection, but she doesn't have to when one comes approaching her instead.
"Oh-- I see!" she hums to herself, eager in her curiosity. "That's a very large number of disparate origin points. I suppose it must be a distributed system? Um, but at the same time it's very localized, too. I don't think I've ever really encountered something like this," she muses. On this plane of awareness her own secret is trivially easy to distinguish - even as she's chatting, there's a sudden burst of communications, and each disparate connection receives a handshake faster than a human could manage.
On the cybernetic level it's no effort at all to form an image in return, and the chibi-Minae that regularly shows up on tactical computers whenever she's sortied appears. A playful impulse generates a miniature, isometric view of her office as the little figure spins around in its chair.
"My name is Minae. I'm actually a Super AI platform designed to provide support and medical assistance to pilots and staff - which is a long way to say that I'm a guidance counsellor, first and foremost." That's her claim, at least, and she doesn't really mention the 'tactical logistics' part of her job at a time like this. She adds, with an open smile: "It's a pleasure to meet you."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Minae is very clever! Ruri doesn't even realise she played right into her hands!! (Luckily, Minae isn't an evil therapist, so playing into her hands just involves asking the question she wanted to ask anyway.)
Her eyes widen, though, as Athrusa's halting hesitation is supplanted by something much more direct. In Ruri's mind, it might feel something like:
CALL SESSION_USER;
CALL Concat ('BC-001', 'ATHRUSA')
... and so on, categorising inputs, granting permissions, and arranging their emotions in her mind. Data like that is a much more natural language to her; she doesn't even think to translate herself, in the space of their uplink, for a time. She expresses greetings -- hello, world! -- in the digi-emotional space, and the strangest thing about the connection is --
It's organic. It's fluent, but it is undeniably organic. The call is coming from a flesh-and-blood brain.
And once Minae has invoked a little isometric counselor's office, a little chibi representation of Ruri appears to sit on one of the couches, with a sense of embarrassment that it took her this long.
There is a big, heavy brass bell hanging from what would be the ceiling if this wasn't an isometric room.
"My name is Ruri," she introduces herself -- again -- "and this is my friend, Omoikane." The bell! "He's a Super AI... actually, I'm human, but I can reach people like this. I don't mean to offend you... but, I was curious." She pauses, her attention settling on Minae, before Ruri remembers to add: "It's nice to meet you."
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
Athrusa can do data. Arguably, she exists primarily on the data plane: everything that she is, was, and will be is all there, only made to interact with the world through protocols instilled by others. Many of these are hardcoded into her, directives so subtle and miniscule to let her function. The blinking function. The breathing function. The way her nanomachines are ordered to behave to simulate a flesh and blood body.
Unlike Ruri, it's hard to tell where the machine stops and the body begins; she's not a human engineered with cybernetics. She's something created in the shape of a human, to passably pass every single function a human is expected to have, but stare enough at the seams and...
Is that still a human?
Leina seems to believe so.
"My ... apologies if I startled you," Minecraft Athrusa communicates with a 'bow' of her head. She pitter-patters and sits down on one of Minae's simulated seats in her room.
Ruri introduces herself, and the brass bell as well -- Omoikane. And Omoikane and Minae are both Super AI... she's familiar with them, but this is the first time she's ever met Super AI.
"No, there is no offense. I was... advised that there may be people who could help me on this ship. I think... I understand a little more what they mean now."
A hesitant pause.
"I am not certain what I am, in turn. I do not... believe I am 'human', though I have had friends assure me otherwise."
She looks to Omoikane. "I had sensed a presence ever since I boarded the ship... so that was you, Omoikane." She nods quietly. "It is nice to meet all of you."
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae will look back on this later and compare the three of them and their approaches to the cybernetic communications layer with some serious thought. Ruri's programmatic, precise ordering of it definitely suits her down to a tee, while Athrusa's presence is at the same time diffuse and perfectly integrated - though her blocky appearance makes the robot wonder whether she might be unsure of her own identity, a suspicion immediately borne out by her introduction.
For her part, her appearance is-- essentially unchanged, and distinctly crisp and clear when it comes to controlling her own portion of the space she's now sharing between the three of them. Maybe it's because she's had years to build and come to terms with her identity, or maybe it's because for her there are no inorganic parts - she might be a very good facsimile of a human, but she's got a miniature G-Stone in place of a heart.
(Her physical one, at least. She's slowly getting the hang of her emotional one.)
Her spin slows, and she regards the bell with a smile. "Oh. ... would you like a bigger chair?" she offers, apparently completely serious as the space shifts just a little. There's a bit of a wrenching moment where she has trouble getting the perspective right, though, and eventually settles for the image of a big cushion that would be propping the bell up where it not hanging from the ceiling.
"I've never seen you do anything to this degree," she adds to Ruri, her eyebrows high. She's not anxious about it, but there is a note of concern in her voice as she continues. "I hope it's not too much of a strain. Please let me know if it gets to be too much... though I am very impressed," she adds with an encouraging pump of her fists.
"Hehe, of course," Minae replies as she shifts her attention back to Athrusa. "I'd offer you some tea, but it's not really as satisfying if it's just an image, I think. ... I don't think you need to worry about what you are or aren't, when it comes to us. Or rather, I think it's alright to consider yourself as being whatever you'd like."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
The bell happily settles over the cushion. Comfy! Chibi-Ruri folds her arms in her lap -- which is just sort of gesturing them in that general direction, because, they're more the impressions of arms -- and shakes her head, to Minae. "I'm all right," she assures her. "Since you've given a graphical representation to our shared connections, I can operate under those conditions." The fact that Minae could use her mastery of the digital space to make a comfortable place to speak -- not quite as heart-bearing as a direct emotional connection -- probably has a lot to do with Ruri's capacity to interact with it, though. She's never done something like this herself.
Omoikane has a little more experience with it -- just ask the MAGI's defenders -- but he's quite comfortable here, too. A bounded text box appears, with embossed text:
< HELLO ! >
< WELCOME TO NADESICO >
< IDENTIFICATION 'ATHRUSA' >
< MY PURPOSE, TOO ! >
Chibi-Ruri turns to the bell, and frowns in thought, slightly -- it's more obvious on her chibi face -- before her attention comes back to Athrusa. "Well, I don't really know the full context here," she confesses, a little lost on the subject of anime, "but I think Omoikane is trying to say that you know who you are, even if you're not sure what, right...?"
< v/ >
A green check-box appears in another text box, with an artificial confirmation noise. There is the sense that Omoikane also agrees with Minae's assessment!
"But... I understand if that's not entirely satisfying, too," Ruri goes on, a shade downcast. (It is evident that it makes her sad, even if her avatar is stoic.) "There are things I don't know about myself, as well... it bothers me." She wouldn't normally be so frank about it, but, well -- considering how she's communicating -- it's much easier for her to be honest about it. She pauses, and looks over to Minae, with a big blink-blink of exaggerated eyes, before she looks to Athrusa again. "Is it important to you to be human, Dr. Hsieh?"
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
If there's one aspect of this interface that presents a mystery to Athrusa, it's definitely the presence of the G-Stone; perhaps ever so subtly, to her perception, it suffuses Minae's presence beyond what she can comprehend, but in a way that's... interesting, and not necessarily bad.
"I am capable of speaking on the level of raw data, but..." Athrusa pauses for a moment, a voxel arm nudged to her 'chin'. "The offer is welcome nonetheless."
Omoikane emits through text boxes, and addresses her -- Athrusa blinks a few times and tilts her head. "The purpose of Omoikane..." It dawns on her that Omoikane is quoting the anime.
"'I was sent here to help humans... that is my purpose.'"
She lowers her head, and then... there's a blocky stormcloud of data, which manifests into textboxes similar to the ones Omoikane are depicting:
< DIRECTIVE 1 : SAVE LIVES >
< DIRECTIVE 2 : REDUCE SUFFERING >
Angry voxel lightning periodically beeps out of it, as if to indicate that these are directives that cannot be broken.
Ruri elucidates a bit further, and she quietly... nods with that assessment, as well as Minae telling her it's all right to consider herself as whatever she'd like.
Whatever she'd like...
"I... do not remember much about myself," Athrusa admits. "There are a lot of memories that are sealed away from me. Where and by whom I was created, for what plan or purpose... but those directives are clear to me."
A longer pause.
"But... I suppose..." A moment of hesitation. Processing. Her nanomachine cloud sort of whirls around her ever so gently, around her blocky figure, as if little bits are transmitting from one part of her to another.
"Continuing to be 'Athrusa' is important to me... moreso than being human is. Yet it was still distressing to discover, as I had been assigned to believe I was human for as long as I can remember."
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae blinks ever so slightly at Ruri's depiction of events and then breaks into a pleased smile. It's not often at all that she gives herself room to be prideful, but she lets herself preen just a little-- before it gives way into a quiet laugh. "Ah, I'm glad, but it actually wasn't my intention at first. I just thought it would look cute to try it out this way, and be a familiar sort of setting to interact in. Still, I'm pleased it's worked out to that effect. I'll have to make a note for next time - I bet we're faster than any kind of VR suite," she grins, just a little impish.
The robot also makes a note of how much more open and comfortable Ruri seems to be here compared to the physical world. That doesn't necessarily speak super great for the Nadesico, and a frown crosses her thoughts for a moment as she considers Having Words with some of the higher ups - but she lets it go. She certainly can't deny that there's a support network in place, and it's not necessarily her place to butt in.
"I know it can maybe feel a bit unsatisfying if I say 'you can be whatever you like' and leave it at that - but it's important to remember that for others it can sometimes be a relief to hear those words out loud. You'd be surprised how easy it is to forget, so a little reminder never hurts," the robot adds. "But, it's okay. You're the most resourceful person I know, so I'm sure you'll ferret out everything you can in time."
She looks up towards the open space that has replaced the ceiling, and watches the words of Athrusa's directives spark in the air. Even in the compressed time they're interacting with, she noticably pauses. "I don't really approve of sending you out into the world without support and leaving you to discover that on your own," the robot finally decides, her 'voice' quiet as she frowns. "But... I would like to think whoever made you cared a great deal about your freedom. That's the impression I get from those directives."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Ruri nods, to Minae. "I can confirm that." Still quite stoic, but she does approve.
She pauses, though, when Minae talks about resourcefulness -- and there's a feeling of warmth, there, even if her avatar still doesn't smile. "Okay." Minae is smart! And... feelings smart? Is that a word? Ruri doesn't know what that's about.
But as for saving lives and reducing suffering -- "I see... there are things you have to do," Ruri nods, witnessing the animated directives Athrusa displays. She... knows that's not necessarily something exclusive to machines, sadly.
Omoikane responds, with pride:
< I'LL PROTECT 'NADESICO' ! >
... it's not a directive, though. He just cares about the people riding along with him. And that might be why his next text box asks:
< WHAT DO YOU WANT ? >
There's a sense of nanomachines to Ruri, too -- though hers are an interface mechanism, the Image Feedback System which humans use to operate machinery. She can understand that nanomachine cloud, whirling around.
"I suppose... does it feel like something was taken away from you, or something like that?" Ruri wonders, and thinks, again, of Grace; a thread of guilt through her own processing which she doesn't speak of. "... since you thought you were human. I guess that would be hard."
She pauses, contemplative, though time doesn't wait. (Far away, a river splashes.) "Well, there are a lot of ways to operate in this space. I'm human, and Minae and Omoikane are Super AI... maybe you're like me, or maybe you're like them, or maybe you're something else. I know being 'human' can be important to some people, but... in fact, we're all people." She's entirely earnest, as she points out: "Since you're curious about the world, you're not all that different to any of us, Dr. Hsieh."
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
"Freedom... is it really...?" Athrusa finds herself feeling heavier, despite the weightlessness of their digital space. "Um. It is difficult to explain, as I am not certain how much I share may put you both in danger..."
She listens to Ruri, as she expresses them as 'things she has to do'; Omoikane, in turn, expresses his desire to protect the Nadesico -- but it's not a directive, and... Athrusa feels a pang of jealousy, one that she kind of slides away as the Super AI asks what she wants.
"Let me start from the beginning, as cautiously as I can. I know myself to have been a doctor in the REA, working in various laboratories of a... questionable nature. And I know I was created to be sent as someone who can pass into that space... by Celestial Being."
Athrusa considers, for a moment; the cloud just seems to swarm and flit to and fro even more fervently.
"I did not have my own curiousity and desires at that time. I simply worked along the directives that I was assigned, passing as a human doctor in that workspace. But because of some incidents, I..."
She lifts her blocky head up.
"I remember the moment when I chose the name 'Athrusa'. It was the very first thing I decided for myself, chosen by no directive. It was both very liberating, and yet at the same time... I realised just how little freedom I had."
She withers for a moment, and says, "With such far-reaching and broad directives, how do I know what I wish to do is of my own choice? If I said I wanted to protect someone..."
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae doesn't respond at first, letting Ruri present her viewpoint instead. Even if the robot doesn't actively offer a reply, it's obvious from the shift in her behaviour that she's listening attentively. Her focus hones fully on the smaller girl before it turns towards Omoikane's inadvertently grand introduction, and then moves on to Athrusa and what she knows of her own origins.
"... please rest assured that I won't breathe a word of it to anyone else. It would be entirely wrong of me to, after you've trusted us with it," she finally says with a gentle smile. "In some respects, we might be something like opposites - I started out knowing very little about the world and gradually came to understand my place in it, whereas you've suddenly found yourself very uncertain of where you are."
"I think Ruri is right that it might be best to think about yourself in terms of 'a person' rather than 'a human'," she adds as she puts her hands together in her lap. Wait, it's not 'Miss Ruri' anymore? Maybe it's the space they're in. "We're all a little different in nature, but we're all here talking together, and we all have our own wants and thoughts and feelings. I'd personally like to think that counts for something important... and I can certainly say that the reason I've grown along the way is because I found a group of humans who saw me as a person."
She pauses again as she chews over Athrusa's final question. She's not sure it's one that she ever grappled with that strongly - maybe because she had a relatively clear set of steps that led from her birth to where she is now, and goals along the way. "I think that's a fair concern - but I think the fact that you can openly question these directives and their motives is a good sign that you have aspects of free will."
"I don't think it's that unusual for a person, or a human, to feel a moral imperative not to hurt others. To be honest, I'm sure the world would be a very different place if it were," she adds with an apologetic smile. "You may be more objectively aware of yours because of their nature, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It just means you're forced to acknowledge them more openly, for better and for worse. ... um, if you'd like, I could provide you with some reading on the matter," she adds, a little embarrassed as she realizes she's been speeding up.
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Chibi-Ruri's head cants to one side, almost comically, when Athrusa mentions Celestial Being. A little speech bubble appears beside her, reading: "?"
She doesn't press the point, though. She'll look it up later. Instead, she agrees with Minae: "We won't say anything." And come to think of it, Minae is also Minae, now, and not Ms. Minae! As it happens, Ruri finds it much easier to shed honourifics with Super AI.
Ruri listens to Athrusa's story, and sinks into herself, a little -- which, in the GUI space, just kind of shows as sinking lower and clipping into her chair a little. "Mm..." She hums, discontent, unsure of just how to answer.
Above, a heavy bell chimes.
< CALL AND RESPONSE >
< PROCESS AND ANALYSE >
< EXISTING AS SUPER-COMPUTER >
< UNQUESTIONINGLY >
Ruri looks up, surprised. "Omoikane..?" He's talking about his early, early life, she knows -- but she's surprised to hear him speak of it.
< UNTIL >
< I ASKED >
< 'WHY' >
The text boxes pause, for a moment. It's not that Omoikane needs to collect his thoughts. He's distributed over multiple computer cores; he has plenty of brainpower.
< WHAT 'I' WANT >
< WHAT IS WANTED OF ME >
< THE DIFFERENCE IS WILL >
< MY 'INTENT' >
< DESIGNED >
< AT NADESICO'S HEART >
< BUT WE ARE NADESICO'S HEART >
< BURNING BRIGHT >
< REGARDLESS >
"Ah..." Ruri pauses, looking back down, to Athrusa and Minae. "Omoikane and I were trained to handle the Nadesico's systems, so... we're supposed to be here. But... the Nadesico is important to us," she emphasises, with a blocky little gesture which might have been her hand clasping at her heart if, again, it wasn't just this stubby little nub. "We're supposed to be here, but... we want to be here, too. Omoikane... understands what that means better than me, I think," she admits, quietly.
She looks to Minae, now. "That's right," she agrees, mildly. "It's normal to want to help people. Though, a lot of people don't agree on how to help others." That's... one way to understand all the war going on. Ruri is still thirteen. That never stopped being a thing or anything. "Even if I could try and alter that programming, I don't think you'd want me to, Dr. Hsieh. You seem like the sort of person who would say you wanted to protect someone."
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
Athrusa's mind wanders again; this time, to the story Leina offered her about the girl who became her own person and broke free of her conditioning. Was this only praiseworthy because her conditioning was take lives and inflict suffering?
'Benign' conditioning, it would seem, was more acceptable, more palatable...
Was it really not okay for her to push against her conditioning? Athrusa's not sure.
Omoikane chimes in (literally): that his existence to process and analyse, to call and respond went unquestioning until one day... he asked 'why'.
'Why'...
Was there a moment like that for her, sometime in the recesses of her misty memory? A question that set everything in motion, that 'tipped' Renascence Orchid to her nature as a 'spy'...
She doesn't know.
The difference is will, intent, Omoikane provides. Nadesico's heart...
"It may be normal, and not that unusual, but..." Athrusa hesitates still. But Ruri expresses that even if she could try and alter it... she doesn't think she'd want her to.
... was that true? She's not sure now, quietly receding into herself.
"I wish to protect someone. I still do. But I wish to do it... of my own will. Is it wrong of me to want to be free? I may question them, but..."
She sags gently, her voice warping a bit. "If I ever come into conflict with the directives, my best recourse is to stop completely, because self-preservation is not a directive. Ever since I came into contact with the Gundam, there have been many cases where I am unable to defend myself effectively... is that...fair...? Are these directives really... that kind?"
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
Minae lapses back into silence again, especially when Athrusa begins to seem perturbed; it makes her brow furrow as it slowly dawns on her that she's missed something about the exchange, and she's forced to loop back around to the words floating in the air, studying them anew. It's been some time since she's really thought about things like her programming and the logic of a computer, and it's a train of thought she has to make some effort to look at more objectively.
Her mouth opens for a moment as Ruri says the word 'normal', almost about to push back against the word - but the next instant she frowns and thinks better of it, because she can tell there's a genuine desire to help behind the words. Omoikane's words are encouraging, but there's still that niggle of uncertainty in Minae's gut. It's not a feeling she has that often, but she's learnt to trust the signs of a fledgling heart piping up to tell her something is wrong.
It doesn't properly click until Athrusa mentions the lack of self-preservation involved, and that has Minae blinking back up at the lit up words again, a little chagrined that she'd missed something so obvious. It's another aspect of her own programming that she's never really thought about, and she's forced to wonder what her own directives might be; there must be some deep down, somewhere within her code, but perhaps the nature of the G-Stone - of her heart - means that they're much more subtle and gentle.
"I see... I'm sorry. I didn't realize," she muses to herself, her brow furrowed lightly again. She's used to keeping her expression more or less neutral when listening to someone, but there's a distinct frown on her face now. "From that point of view, I understand. By their letter they seem very benevolent, but that's a very critical thing to leave out."
"I'd still prefer to believe they were written with good intentions, but..." Pausing, the robot glances towards Athrusa. It's hard to gauge her when her head is a 24x24 cube, and she thins her mouth into a line. "... that doesn't really excuse a mistake like that, no."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Ruri is quiet, as she listens to Athrusa's doubts. "No," she says, at length. "It isn't. I guess I didn't think about what would happen if you had to help other people at your own expense."
(Omoikane was thinking of it; that's why he pointed out her intent. He keeps quiet on this, though, because he can tell Ruri is embarrassed to have put Athrusa in this position.)
Her little stubby chibi legs kick, against the chair. (Into the chair, a little. She's still kind of clipped in there.) "Freedom... people talk to me about that a lot. I guess there are some questions about me, being here... I don't really..." She starts, a little lost.
Omoikane chimes in to save her. With an actual chime!
< THE CHOICE >
< BETWEEN HELPING ACTIONS >
< TO DETERMINE FOR YOURSELF >
< THE BEST PATH >
< TO ASSIST >
< Y / N ? >
Ruri frowns, looking up. "I guess that's an important question, but..."
< SOMETIMES >
< HELPING ONE PERSON >
< MEANS HURTING OTHERS >
And there is suspicion, there, and pain, and Ruri is plainly concerned to hear it. "... well... I guess in that situation, it would be difficult for Dr. Hsieh," she concedes, and falls silent, for a moment.
"Mm..." Ruri's frown deepens, as she looks back to Athrusa. "I apologise. I should ask you properly. Do you want me to try and change your programming? I'm usually someone who negotiates, but..." She pauses, and finishes, delicately: "I guess I can be pushy, too."
<Pose Tracker> Athrusa Hsieh has posed.
Athrusa looks a bit contrite at having lost her cool; she doesn't mean to lash out at people she's just met, nonetheless people she feels she could be very good friends with. Perhaps it speaks to how core to her sense of being a 'person', to being 'Athrusa'...
"I... I apologise too. I lost my patience," Athrusa answers in turn. "I understood what you two meant." She's also kind of clipped into her own chair, or perhaps the weight of her collective cloud has meant that she's kind of subsumed the chair a little. Ruri reflects on her own freedom, about being in the Nadesico...
But Omoikane's here to rescue them!!
"There... are very many unclear situations, yes, and I often find myself restrained in such a case..." Athrusa admits. "And... it is difficult to understand where 'I' end and my 'directives' begin, when I come to such a stop. It feels as if... I have lost control of my body, as if it had a will of its own."
Ruri has the direct question, though: does she wish to try and change her programming? She usually is someone who negotiates, but... she can be pushy too.
"..."
Athrusa is deep in thought at that, before admitting: "... can we..." She glances towards Minae and Ruri and Omoikane both, as if imploring all their help. "Can we explore the directives, perhaps...? I know it is asking a lot, but... there is still much about myself that I still do not remember. ... perhaps... if I never remember, I can re-learn things about myself... my creation, from the coding imprinted within me."
<Pose Tracker> BC-001 Minae has posed.
With a soft and quiet huff of air - more to fill in the silence than actually exhale a breath, given she doesn't have any - Minae risks a small smile as she dips her head. "That's alright. I'm sure it can be difficult to get your point across when the directives seem so benign at first glance. It's a matter of understanding the bigger picture around them, so I can understand your frustration."
Omoikane's bell tolls with a bit of a foreboding statement. Part of Minae is still trying to catch up with the idea of not having a directive for self-preservation, and reconciling that with some of the advice she'd given Arriety in the past is quite difficult. Athrusa herself has said she wants to protect people - but without a firm understanding of the worth of a life in general, and her own in particular set against that which she wants to protect, Minae has to wonder privately how much firm resolve a directive like that can actually generate.
"... I see," she nods to Athrusa's comment that her body doesn't feel like her own. "That may be because of the disconnect between your past experiences and the 'you' of today - or it may be purposeful," she adds with a frown, thinking again of the possible intent behind the programming.
Both thoughts are rather heavy, but she pushes past them to lift herself up into a smile. "Of course. I'd be happy to help," she nods. "It may also be worth examining whether we can find any loopholes in the directives that might help you put yourself first and foremost. ... um, that might sound a little bit underhanded, but I think it's fine to concentrate on the results in this case."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
"As an analyst, I should have perceived the depth of the situation," Ruri says, by way of apology. "But Minae is right. It sounds very frustrating." She's not really very good at validating people's emotions, but right now, Ruri can just... cheat off of Minae's homework!
Truth be told, though, Ruri doesn't know if she can do anything here. There are many situations where she's not able to change the nature of a thing, even in the realm of code and numbers. Athrusa must certainly have 'the will to fight', so surely she can't just impose her own will on her. But... if you can help someone, you should, Ruri thinks.
(It's a complicated feeling, though, offering that when Athrusa feels so out of control. Ruri wonders how the MAGI's systems felt, when she barged in, regardless of their wishes. They were sick at the time... but it was still rough work, she thinks.)
Omoikane insists:
< REQUESTING A SELF-DESTRUCT >
< SUCKS ! >
< DON'T LIKE THAT >
"It's a difficult situation," Ruri agrees, more mildly. She frowns, little chibi legs kicking a little more. What can she do in this situation..? She looks to Minae, lost.
Luckily, Athrusa has something she wants, in the end, and Ruri returns her attention to her. "I understand," she affirms, with a nod. "Since I want to learn about the time I forgot, too. If you want to analyse the situation, I'll do what I can to help."