2023-10-24: Belief and Conviction
- Log: Belief and Conviction
- Cast: Naoko Suzuki, Shari Loom
- Where: Residential District, Magallanica
- OOC - IC Date: 0097-10-24
- Summary: A chance meeting between two Whispered under better circumstances than the previous times offers a chance to learn more about one another. Will there be an understanding, this time?
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It's incredible how a ship can be so big and yet feel so stifling sometimes. Likely for most, they might feel this way when circumstances are dire and the mood is heavy. For Naoko... it's turned out to be quite the opposite. Spirits are up and people are generally cheerful, undoubtedly owing in large part to the absence of an immediate crisis, and the Ra Mari II's beloved captain recently having given birth to healthy twins. Plenty of reason to be a celebratory mood. And yet...
Naoko's expression is a dour one as she strides through Magallanica's residential zone at a brisk pace, hood up and hands in her hoodie's pockets. She rarely leaves the ship without a specific purpose in mind, but this time, getting away from the ship was the purpose in itself. Too many people acting like there's not a care in the world, while she... well, she'd be lying if she claimed that it was more than one major concern actively plaguing her mind at the moment.
Unfortunately... she can't talk about it. No one can know. And on a ship with so many people, some of which can literally sense how she feels... well. She'd really rather just avoid any questions to begin with. No need for her to bring the mood down. She'll just... be out here. Taking a walk. People take walks for no reason all the time. Naoko can't remember if she's taken a walk with no purpose in mind even a single time in her life, but, nobody needs to know that either.
Even though the streets are quiet enough for a conversation with her friends to be fairly risk-free, even they haven't been piping up. Nothing needed to be said - they know how Naoko feels better than anyone. Until...
>"Isn't it about time to head back, Nova?"<
Naoko freezes in her tracks. "...How would you know?" As her friends often remind her, they can't tell time. This remark obviously has a different motivation behind it. Still, she slowly withdraws her phone, and does a double-take at the time before putting it back in her pocket. It's been over half an hour since she left the ship, really? Doesn't feel like it's been that long. She stretches, more consciously aware of her leg muscles all of a sudden. Then she shrugs. "Eh, fine. Have it your way."
>"Mumu, I didn't mean anything by it, honest..."<
>"Just let it go, Ariel."<
Naoko smiles wryly, turning into a different direction. Of course Uriel has nothing to add here. He knows better than anyone how she feels, and why. In spite of everything, it's nice to always be in the company of someone who perfectly understands.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Ordinarily, Shari would resent being sent to the ass-end of space to investigate something that's probably already over with. Sure, Yuliana almost got kidnapped, but what is she supposed to do about that? Snoop around a little, mostly. Shari's in the residential district too, dressed in pink and black, peering around a corner that once again has nothing in it.
"Hm..."
Despite all that, she's in a great mood. There is a spring in her step as she walks. She pulls her phone to look at it every so often, but since she's here on business, she doesn't send texts back just yet.
Instead, she turns another corner and--
There's a spark. Naoko might feel the light mood Shari is in all of a sudden, might find the emotions Shari's experiencing drifting forth, along with then a surprise--
"Mega dork?" Shari says, recognizing Naoko immediately... though not, it would seem, by name.
"I mean. Um."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko hasn't exactly wandered the streets of Magallanica to an extensive degree, not enough for anything to feel that parts of it are particularly recognizable. Given that she's taking a different return route, nothing about what's ahead of her should ring any notable bells, either. And almost immediately after she commits to that direction, there is something... something in that direction that feels incredibly familiar. On a level where it would be difficult to mistake as something other than 'someone who is like me'. More specific than that, even...
>"Turn back!"<
Naoko's mentally elsewhere to the point where it felt as if those were her own thoughts, cautioning her against an encounter that she's wholly underprepared for. Regardless, she doesn't listen. It's as if her feet have a will of their own, guided by... what, exactly? She couldn't say. She may remember this later as a 'moth to the flame' effect, something illogical that she yet couldn't stop herself doing. That too, is familiar.
Of course, once she actually sees Shari, the autopilot cuts out immediately, and she freezes up. At which point everything makes sense. Except for her own behavior. And why Shari would even be here right now. And what the heck she's supposed to say or do now. ...Okay so very little actually still feels like it makes sense.
This moment might have lasted a very time indeed... were it not for that mode of address. 'Mega dork' hits Naoko like a slap in the face, enough to make her physically flinch. "I-it's Miracle Worker, okay? Miracle Worker."
Insisting on it helps recenter herself. Focus on the core of who you are. It'll make things either.
It won't things very much less awkward. Naoko rubs the back of her head, still very much unsure of what to say. "Um... fancy meeting you here? I mean, what are the odds, right? Ha ha ha... ha."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Definitely none of this is 'familiar' to Shari, habitual Earthnoid from Britannia who has barely even been to the colonies at all, let alone this one. Seeing the 'sky' above be what it is is still pretty weird to her. But she, too, senses that effect, is drawn like a moth to flame--
To 'mega dork'. "...Right," Shari says. "'Miracle Worker'." She seems skeptical of this, but she at least says the words. "...I can't call you that," she decides. "What's your name?"
It breaks up the lock for Shari, too, it would seem, and she steps around, peering about to make sure that they're alone and there's not going to be somebody coming after her next. But that doesn't happen!
"Yeah," Shari says, "The odds aren't great! But I guess your big-ass ship is here, so the odds weren't zero. Did anybody tell you it's weird to be using a Zentradi ship? Because it is."
Pause. "So what are you doing out here, anyway? I notice you're not on the big-ass ship." Further pause. "I'm snooping. It's fine."
Despite this she still seems in good spirits, even if she's a little wary. A lot wary.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It probably should be weirder to Naoko than it feels to her, being In Space. She'd sure never been there before this year, at the start of which she still would have laughed in the face of anyone claiming she'd go to space one day. But she's nothing if not adaptive. She just lives on a ship that's frequently in space now, and retuned her machine for better performance in space. That's just how things went. No big deal.
What is a big deal: being face to face with somebody you know to be Someone Like You, a thing you weren't entirely sure other people could even be until recently. Someone you know stuff about, have been in Situations with, but you couldn't say to have actually 'met', per se. That's the really weird part, how fighting people or using this Brain Stuff feels more natural than just... having a conversation with them. This shouldn't be as difficult as it feels, right?
Like being asked her name. She could say her name. But even that seems to cause her some trouble. "...My name. My name is... it's..." Well, there's a reason why she trails off like that. She's inwardly debating which name to use. It feels increasingly wrong to use the one she told everyone at the start. Yet it feels smart not to give your real name away to people you don't know very well. It shouldn't be a hard choice, in this case. And yet...
"...Naoko. Naoko Suzuki. I, um, usually go by Nova Stellar, but, you know. It's a callsign." It's a convenient believable excuse, anyway, that's definitely not all that name is to her. But never mind that. She fails to ask Shari's name in return, because... well, she already knows, and didn't consider the possibility that Shari doesn't know she knows.
The relaxed attitude in return, though... that does wonders to help Naoko feel like it's okay to be relaxed, too. There's a level of resonance there, even if it's not the capital R kind. She actually finds herself chuckling at the descriptor of 'big-ass ship'. "Sure is. It's more of flying city, really. Pretty wild. But y'know. It's home."
It readily came out like that, without thinking. But it's true. The Ra Mari II is her new home, she's acknowledged that to herself a while ago. Which... makes the present circumstances all the more difficult. But she doesn't want to think about why she's actually off the ship right now.
"Oh, you know... just getting some fresh air. ...Can you say that, about a place like this?" She shakes her head. "Probably sounds like I'm making excuses, but it's true. I have no idea what I'm even doing right now. Oh well, nothing new there!" ...Is she proud of that? It sounded like she's proud of that.
She pauses there, for a moment, before adding, "Hey, listen, I just... I feel like I should apologize, actually..."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Shari hadn't expected to be meeting people like her, either--didn't even realize they existed. But now she's met two, and come face to face with both in a matter of weeks. It's weird, but...
She's used to weird. Just not this kind of weird. Which is different: Naoko seems to have a lot of trouble giving her name, and Shari lifts an eyebrow. Before she can needle her about it, Naoko speaks up.
"Oh," Shari says. "OK. Then I'll call you Naoko." She just goes straight to first name. "Aren't you going to ask mine?"
Shari has an easy time being relaxed when She isn't hovering over her shoulder--and it seems, this time, that that's the case. "Home, huh?" Shari glances away. "That's nice."
Her own mixed feelings about 'home' bubble to the surface, but that bubble pops quickly thereafter.
"I guess you can say whatever you want," Shari answers. "I get what you mean? Even if like. The air's totally not fresh. It's super recycled." Pause. "You... you sound proud that you don't know what you're doing..." She sighs. "Yeah, that's what somebody our age should be like, huh? Not knowing what she's doing..."
Then she stops short. "Eh?" Shari asks. "Apologize? For what?"
She remembers shouting at her a lot. A whole lot. And talking about how annoying she is. Images of it might flit across their minds, too. But apologies...?
"Spill."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko doesn't realize she never asked Shari's name until directly asked about it, which she has another mild panic reaction to. "Oh, s-sorry, I uh, I... kind of already know. Shari." ...That was stupid. It would have been less awkward to just ask when prompted. Now she needs to explain. "I... couldn't help but hear. Back then."
It's not much of an explanation, but it may not need one. She means back in Ambon, when the capital-R Resonance did happen. Even if Shari never said her name out loud, Naoko still heard it from her. Now she wishes she hadn't called attention to it. If she didn't know what to say before, she really has no idea what to say about that. Nothing much she could say that could come close to describing that. Maybe she can just sorta... gloss over that one.
It does appear like some hangups are shared. Naoko doesn't miss the reaction to 'home', which... does have some very complicated connotations for her, as well. This is something she understands. And so she doesn't ask the questions she wouldn't want to be asked in return. Another matter to gloss over.
Of all things, it's 'not knowing what she's doing' that gets her to expound, with some measure of enthusiasm even. "Hm-mm! That took practice, let me tell you, to think about things in a way where you don't think about them!" ...That sure was a sentence she just said. And with full confidence in it making sense, too. Approximately two seconds later, she realizes how it must have sounded, and looks more properly embarrassed about it. "It's... the way Miracles work, you know? If you want a thing to happen, you can't worry about how you're gonna do it, you just have to focus on making it happen." This might explain her general perception of things a little.
But this also relates back to the reason why she feels she owes an apology. Which takes a bit of prompting from Shari before she actually starts to explain, with a bow of her head.
"I... didn't realize your situation, and I really didn't mean to sound like I wasn't taking it seriously. Now that I know why it is you feel so trapped... I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and I'm sorry for... the way I said what I did."
Notably, she isn't sorry about what she said. Being better informed about the circumstances hasn't changed the sentiment behind her words. She still wants to help, and she still thinks she can. Having gotten over that hurdle, it's easier for her to speak her mind, now backed by a slight smile.
"I mean, I get it. You have all these smarts, all this advanced technological knowledge, and you've thought things through extensively, but you still haven't been able to find a solution. Then someone just like you comes along and claims they can figure it all out. You must think I'm full of shit."
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
"Oh!" Shari pauses. "Oh, okay." Her script for introductions is interrupted a lot, but Shari is social enough that she doesn't get completely thrown off by that. "People were using my name and stuff," she says, even aside from... well. The Resonance. And Shari did... Oh, yeah.
"I did share it, huh?" she remembers now. But they gloss over home, and...
Shari stares at Naoko for a moment--and that sentence definitely is a thing that exists. When Naoko looks embarrassed, Shari laughs, but it's a nice laugh, not as mean-spirited as Naoko might expect. "Oh," she says. "So that's how it works..." She seems to take the explanation for Naoko's approach to heart anyway. Still--
"Oh."
The apology... makes sense. And it also makes Shari uncomfortable, because it brings to mind the things she's trying not to think about. Still, the way she says it--it's not being sorry for what she said, but...
"I do think you're full of shit," Shari says amiably. "Anybody who claims they can just--do miracles, make all that happen just because they think they can--that's definitely ridiculous. But..."
"I guess that means you're full of enough shit to give a shit, if that makes sense? So that's... nice, I guess." She looks up to the 'sky'. "There's not a lot anybody can do. But if you want to try... just don't get yourself hurt, okay?" She looks back down to Naoko. "My 'aunts' aren't to be messed with. And Yuliana wants to put you in a box or something now."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Wow. Shari is surprisingly cool about the Resonance thing. The surprise is plain on Naoko's face, but like heck is she going to comment on the very thing she was trying to gloss over. These abilities they have... frightening, yet exciting at the same time. But that's why her approach is the way it is. Just do what feels right and focus on the miraculous aspects, rather than think too much about the hows and whys. It appears as if Shari understands that much from her clumsy explanation, which is heartening.
...Which doesn't mean she actually wanted Shari to agree with her on being full of shit! Even said amiably, that's a pretty overt 'for real??' reaction she has, just wordlessly recoiling. Quickly rallying, it's clear that she immediately wants to dispute the level of ridiculousness involved, though the 'but' stops her. But...?
...Ah. Well. Yes. It does mean she gives a shit, she supposes. Generally speaking, the only miracles she's interested in causing are ones that help somebody. Still... it doesn't feel quite right, this way.
"...Well." Placing one hand on her hip, she makes an exaggerated gesture with the other hand. "It would've been nice if you didn't affirm me that hard, but I guess I set myself up for that. And like I said, I do get it. But!"
She raises a finger, but rather than continuing in the boisterous tone she was building up to, she looks around to make sure no one is around to overhear, and then still drops her volume just in case, taking one step closer as she puts a hand to the side of her mouth.
"The thing is... I wasn't lying when I said I know of something that helps to shut out what's in your head that you don't want to hear. It works for me, so I know it could work for you. It's just... I don't know how it works, yet, and it's far from absolute. But it's a starting point." With that, she places both hands firmly on her hips, switching back to normal volume. "So I'm going to look into that. And I'm not going to give up until I have the solution. When I talk about being a Miracle Worker... that's what I mean."
She deflates a little, after that, her previous confidence abruptly falling away. "S-so... as a Miracle Worker, of course I'd like people to believe in me. But, if you can't do that... won't you at least believe in yourself a little more?"
Which is when she does a double-take, and freaks right the heck out. "Wh-wh-what do you mean, put me in a box or something?? I thought she liked me!" There's a beat, and... "Oh god she likes me, why did I think that would be a good thing?!"
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
Supernatural things make sense to Shari; she doesn't like them very much, but they make sense, and that part isn't so bad as what she usually deals with... Besides. Naoko's 'for real!?' reaction is something that makes Shari laugh.
"Honesty's the best policy, they say!" Shari grins--but Naoko does explain. Shari grows a little more serious as Naoko does, considering what she's saying. "A starting point, huh..."
Shari leans in when Naoko is talking quietly, and leans back normal when she goes to normal volume. "So it's less about doing ridiculous things and more about not giving up, huh?" Shari thinks about it. "You still sound like some kind of weirdo to me, but..." But.
The way her confidence deflates makes Shari hesitate. "...Believe in myself?" she wonders.
Naoko freaking out a little gives Shari time to process that. And she does--just in time to remember that Naoko was freaking out. "Pretty much! She's not all bad or anything--she does protect me--but she's definitely... some bad. Real bad. If I see you at the Castle I'm gonna be really upset with you. You're supposed to be working on fixing my shit."
She smiles. It fades. "Nobody's ever really believed in me much. Let alone me. But if you figure anything out... Let me know. Then maybe I'll believe your miracle stuff, OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko was this close to arguing that there is such a thing as being too honest. Before realizing that she doesn't even practice what she would be preaching if she said that. Phew, at least one instance of having to feel awkward was averted before she opened her mouth.
Shari's description of a Miracle Worker... she doesn't know how she feels about that one, prompting a bit of a sour expression. "...I like to think of it as 'results-oriented'." Perhaps an attempt to sound less like a weirdo about it. But when you really think about it, all she's really saying is that it's about wanting the ridiculous things to happen badly enough. Oh well, she's over it soon enough. Back to her usual self she goes. "Hmph, well, no one's ever accused me of thinking in terms that most people would. And that's just fine! You can't expect miracles to arise from conventional thinking, after all!" Double down, spin it positively. This is the way.
That part's easy. Dealing with what very much sounded like an intended kidnapping is much less so. She doesn't need any convincing that this would be a bad thing to happen to her. "You don't need to tell me! I-- ugh, I've got to find a way to protect myself better. That's-- you know what? Fine, challenge accepted, I'll do both!" Work on protecting herself, and work on fixing Shari's shit, that is. How? Shh, you're not supposed to ask 'how' about miracles, even intended ones. This is just the way she deals with things. If it upsets her, vow to work a miracle to fix it.
Speaking of upsetting... it's very upsetting to hear Shari speaking of how nobody's ever believed in her. There's no way she could let that stand. Without a second of thought, she blurts out, "In that case, forget about believing in me - I'll believe in you!"
It doesn't take long before it hits her that she just said something extremely embarrassing. To make matters several times worse, that smile of Leina Ashta's just pops right into her brain. She covers her reddening face with one hand while stretching out her other arm, as if to literally keep Shari at arm's length.
"Y-you have to promise me one thing. Do not tell Leina that you met me. Don't even mention my name! I'm begging you!"
Aaaand there she goes, without waiting for an answer, running away as fast as she can, almost slipping in the process as she rounds the corner. Yep, definitely some kind of weirdo.
<Pose Tracker> Shari Loom has posed.
'Results-oriented' is certainly a nicer way to say it, but while Shari is a lot of things, 'focused on the nice way to say things' is not one of them. But there's Naoko doubling down. "I guess," she allows, not arguing with the expectation anyway. And besides--
"Big challenge," she says. "Maybe focus more on the not getting kidnapped part." She is still dubious--but...
But Naoko blurts out that statement, and it gobsmacks Shari long enough for her to start reddening, blurt it out, and run away. Shari stares after her for a long few moments.
"...I'll think about it," she says to the air, with Naoko gone. Then. she actually smiles, looking down.
"...Dork," Shari says fondly.