2024-01-23: 'Theoretical' Attachment
- Log: 'Theoretical' Attachment
- Cast: Ruri Hoshino, Eight Orlodhari
- Where: The Nadesico - Orb Union
- Date: 2024-01-23 (ICly April 0098)
- Summary: Ruri minds the children while Eight is in a meeting, only to tell her exactly what she observes when Eight gets back. Eight is clutched with terror at the thought that she might pass her separation anxiety onto her children, but she tries her best to advise Ruri on her situation as a child soldier anyway. But Ruri disconnects, seeing the pain she's inflicted on her friend, and the only one who gets out unscathed are the babies learning about sea life.
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Ruri is on the Observation Deck, and there are babies. And Archimedes! The display screens are playing nice, calming images of an ocean reef, fish darting across the screen; Archimedes has rolled in front of the babies, her own screen flipped up closer to them so they can focus on it.
"Whale!" She chirps, flapping her head-wings, as a picture of a whale flashes up. "Mammal! Mammal! Cat," an image of a cat flashes up on her screen, "dog," and a dog appears, "whale!" And there's the whale, again.
Zaress laughs, while Aarmi gums at an age-appropriate toy fishie. They're both seated in baby bouncers to help them stay upright, and they're having a ball in them. How much of the lessons on marine life they're absorbing is up for debate, but the pictures are entertaining enough to grip their attention.
"Shark!" Now, a picture of a shark pops up. "Fish! Fish! Clownfish, trout, shark!" Archimedes demonstrates the like-family of fish, with those same colourful pictures flashing up on her screen.
"You're very good at this," Ruri compliments Archimedes, who flaps her headfins again, excitedly.
"Learning! Learning!"
She is an educational Haro, after all.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
That's how they are so far; Zaress louder, more openly engaged, and Aarmi a little more intense and quiet. ...Nom, nom fishy.
Whether they're absorbing the lessons or not, they're obviously having a great time. Both have enough development by now to focus on the colors in front of them and the sounds around them.
And Eight Orlodhari has been busy. She brought her kids over for a meeting--the meeting was for her, not for them. Important Alliance business with the Nadesico and Nergal, and someone had to watch them, and that would be Ruri this time. Eight was relieved to hear that Ruri was willing, since the alternative was taking them into the meeting...
And now that that's over, and she's back, she steps onto the observation deck! She's in uniform, given that it was official business even if she is still technically on leave. And she looks around immediately, spotting Ruri, Archimedes, and her children. "Ruri!" she greets happily, and smiles at Archimedes, hurrying over to Zaress and Aarmi. "Everything's OK?" she asks, looking at each twin in turn, "No problems?"
...She sounds a little anxious until she kneels down to see them for herself. She trusts Ruri, but it's hard to be away from them these days.
...Harder for her than it seems to be for them, really.
"I see you've kept them busy...."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Nom nom nom.
Here's mom, though, and four faces turn towards her as Eight enters the deck. "Eight-san," Ruri says, in greeting. "Welcome back." She doesn't interrupt Eight rushing to her babies, though -- who are none the worse for wear, clean and dry and bouncing merrily.
"They've been very good," Ruri says, mildly. "Archimedes wanted to try her new youth protocol, so we've been teaching them about animals. They enjoy the bouncers, too." Ruri can't very well hold both of them up herself, so she's elected to sit between them so she can pay both of them attention instead.
"Dolphin, dolphin! Dolphin, whale, orca!" Archimedes chirps, helpfully, as she flashes up the various cetaceans on her screen. Haro is helping!
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Once she's satisfied that her children are happy, Eight relaxes, staying down on Ruri and their level for the moment instead of finding a chair. "Hello!" she says to Zaress and Aarmi both, "Mommy's back. It sounds like you were very good for Ruri..."
She turns her head back to Ruri, and smiles. "Thank you," she says. "You did very well with them yourself." The bouncers... yes, they would like those.
"And so did you, Archimedes." She pauses for a moment, "...It's very good for their development to be exposed to this much speech and so many things to see so young. Even if they don't retain all the information, it's healthy for their language centers and imaginations. But then, I'm sure you've read about this, too."
Eight certainly did! Ruri helped with that!
"...I'm happy that I could bring them over," Eight says. "They're old enough to travel more now, and with Lavhi busy, I can't really leave them... But this way they can come to see you, even though you're busy on the Nadesico so often yourself."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
"We're not teaching them anything too advanced," Ruri clarifies, plainly. "There's no need to get into how common ancestry and convergent evolution works, yet. But it's important to introduce the basic concepts for later." She pauses, looking at the way Zaress laughs and points at the colourful picture of a clownfish. "... they seem to like watching it, anyway. That's why the pictures aren't entirely correct." Whales aren't, strictly speaking, painted in bright blues with a big smile, but these whales are. They're designed to catch the eyes of a baby who is still figuring out how details work.
Well, if nothing else, Eight doesn't have to worry about Ruri talking down to the babies. She's going to address them like normal humans, even if they're small.
"I'm glad I could help," Ruri says, and reaches down to retrieve the fishy which Aarmi experiments with tossing to the ground, giving it back to her. She throws it again, and Ruri gives it back to her again. This repeats five more times before she gets sick of the game, reassured that she'll get her toys back even if she loses them, and starts chewing on it again. While she's attending to the baby, Ruri goes on: "It must be difficult to make time for things when they still need attention all the time. Well, I'd help more if I could, but it would be bad if I were away from the Nadesico and a situation came up."
Ruri frowns, lightly, looking up to the observational screen showing a manta ray swooping along the water. At any minute, of course, it could change to show the battle situation outside -- not that they're likely to get into one, docked here.
"Apparently," she says, and doesn't sound terribly troubled, because she never sounds much of anything at all, "it's strange that the Nadesico relies on me that much."
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
"I see." Eight is not sure Ruri realizes how much they're likely to retain... But she's certainly researched it too. And... Well, the results are good. Eight laughs a little. "Yes," Eight says, "That makes sense."
She indeed would rather Ruri talk to them like people, so...
Fishy!! Zaress, while Aarmi is doing that, reaaaches towards Archimedes's screen. "Ga!" he says. "Za..."
"It can be," Eight admits. "And while others can help, I can't be away from them very long. They need me."
It would be bad for the Nadesico. Eight glances up to the screen, too. But it doesn't change. And Ruri doesn't sound troubled, but she brings up something that has troubled Eight for some time.
"That's true," Eight says. "And not just because you're very young for your position. The Ra Mari II has multiple relief officers; the operations position is generally done in three shifts, even if Mr. Kall is the most senior."
And the Nadesico just mostly relies on Ruri. But...
"How do you feel about that?" Eight wonders.
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Archimedes helpfully flaps forward so Zaress can reach her screen. "Pictures, pictures!" She chimes, helpfully. "Copies, copies!" She's used to teaching adults, but she's trying her best to learn how to teach babies, now, too.
"It's not just that," Ruri points out, when Eight talks about her children needing her. "You need them, Eight-san. I think you were more upset about being away from them than they were. Well, since you've been with them for almost half a year, it makes sense."
She sighs, though, when she thinks of herself and the Nadesico instead. "It's not like other people aren't trained in operations," she says, "but they can't handle things like I can. Well, since the Nadesico only hired the best, it's not really one for relief crews. Since we're exceptional, it has to be us. Ranka-san thought it was strange, though... she was worried about how I don't really have vacations except for when the Nadesico is relaxing."
Ruri looks down, at the IFS implant on her hand. "I guess it should bother me," she says. "But it doesn't really bother me. Since I worked with the Nadesico for a long time, I just want to make sure it's successful. And that's not to say that I never do anything outside of the Nadesico, either. ... but I guess even when I'm on shore, it's so I can work on something."
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
"Yaaaa!" Zaress places a hand on the screen happily. His aim is not very good, but he's vaguely going for one of the whales!
But Ruri points out something to Eight that she hadn't expected to hear. Eight pauses, looking at her, and then she smiles, chagrined. "That's true," Eight admits. "It's hard to be away from them. I know they're in good hands, but still." It's complicated. Probably more complicated than she can really get into with Ruri... "You're right though, I have. I'm still getting used to being around other people again."
And the Nadesico... "Right," Eight says. "...I don't think it's surprising that she'd worry about that. Even the top officers need breaks now and then." And Ruri, for all that she is a CHILD SOLDIER, is also a top officer; Eight leans harder on that, for the moment.
"Mm," Eight says with a nod. It should bother her, but it doesn't. "The success of the Nadesico is a good goal," Eight says. "...But you do work a lot, that's true. If you think you should be bothered, well... You can't change your feelings and I won't ask you to, but you should consider taking some more time for yourself. Without only working on official business."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Archimedes helpfully bonks her screen at Zaress's hands, gently. "Whale, whale!" She chirps, educationally.
"They're your family," Ruri points out, simply. "And you didn't really have a good family until you were older. Something like this is normal, but it's not normal to you. Well, even mothers who grew up normally worry about their children, too. But I read that when it wasn't normal, having children can bring up a lot of uncomfortable feelings, because it's a reminder. You don't want them to get hurt, right?" She gestures to Aarmi, and when the girl reaches out to grab her pale fingers, she patiently keeps her hand there for her. "If it's difficult, that's okay."
Apparently, Ruri knows about a lot of complications, already.
"... I guess you're right," Ruri sighs, glancing away. (She keeps Aarmi in her peripheral vision, though, to make sure she doesn't poke her eye out with her fingers.) "But it feels like a waste. I don't understand why everyone around here goofs off so much. Well, I guess they all had lives before they came here... before I came to the Nadesico, I was just in the lab. Preparing to operate the Nadesico. And now I'm on the Nadesico, and it's difficult for me to leave. If something happened..."
She shakes her head. "Well, I guess we're kind of similar, actually."
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Bonk! "Waaa!"
Ruri has a logical take on the matter. Eight thinks about it. "I see..." Eight nods. "It's not so much that it's reminding me in a bad way of what I didn't have... But I really want to get it right." She nods. "It is a little difficult, sometimes. Even when I'm just in the other room, part of me is afraid they won't be there when I come back."
She smiles at Aarmi. "She likes you," Eight reflects.
But, Ruri sighs, and, "...A lot of things that are good in the world don't have much to do with work. If I only focused on my job, I wouldn't have had these two."
The lab... No, they are kind of similar. "...I understand," she says. "I think you deserve the chance to have a life of your own, too. You do have other things that interest you besides the running of the ship, after all. There should be time in your life for you to pursue them."
"...But I think we have a lot of similarities, yes."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
"That's called separation anxiety," Ruri says, "and the children will develop it soon, too. The encyclopedia said they start worrying about being left alone at six to seven months. If you keep being this afraid, they'll probably learn that there's really something to be scared of." It would be nice if Ruri ever pulled a punch, but tact just isn't one of those things she's learning as she grows up.
That's not to say she's wrong, though.
And Ruri looks down at Aarmi, gnomming on her fingers. She smiles for precisely 4.8 seconds. "I like you, too, Aarmi." Of course she'd address her directly! She's right there!
"... sometimes it bothers me," she says, at length. "Well, I know about child soldiers. And how people grow up in labs. Maybe I'm a Cyber-Newtype... but I don't really know. But, I don't understand the foolish people here. I'm occupied with the mission, and I focus on destroying the enemy. You know, I've been reviewing the specifications of various ships, and... well, it's not like we have all the data, but I think the Nadesico might have the most frightening weapon capable of being mounted on a ship, right now. Not that it doesn't bother me to say 'right now' about that, either..." What she isn't saying, there, is the implication that she's the one in charge of directing power to and firing that superweapon.
There's only so much responsibility for that she can put on the shoulders of Yurika ordering it to fire. If Ruri didn't fire it, it wouldn't fire.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Eight of course has heard about it. But hearing it pointed at herself is not something she expected. It's only because she sees it coming for them that it doesn't get to her immediately when Ruri says they'll develop it. But if she keeps being this afraid...
Eight feels her heart seize. She's afraid, and it's going to scare them. Ruri might or might not notice the moments for which Eight just freezes in place, but she likely will, because it's at least a second or two before she remembers to breathe.
On the other hand, maybe not. She's focused on Aarmi.
Aarmi vocalizes rarely, but right now she says, "Maaaa!"
So matter of fact. Maybe, but she doesn't know. And the weapon...
"Yes," Eight says. "The Nadesico is very powerful. And you're instrumental to its operations." She isn't going to push harder on what she should focus on, for now--not when she's finally speaking up about this.
...But it's hard to know what to say, especially when she's suddenly feeling--
"...You mentioned to me what it was capable of. It's hard, knowing your responsibility for something like that. Being the Captain is one way to understand that, but not the only one."
"...We take classes," she says. "Go through programs. Have training, to deal with that kind of responsibility."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Ruri does notice Eight seize up, of course. She's aware of the fear, even beyond the way her expression locks up. And she frowns, puzzled, but she doesn't address it immediately.
First -- she listens to what she has to say about the Nadesico. "I was trained to fire weapons before I came to the Nadesico," Ruri explains, stoic. "So I understand that it's necessary to fire, even when the situation is morally complex. If I don't execute the Nadesico's orders, the Captain can't run her ship. If I hesitate, everyone on the ship might die. But I'm aware that it's strange for me to be that way, too."
She glances away, her fingers finally freed, and folds her hands in her lap. "It's hard for me to think about," she says, "and it's not like we spend much time thinking about our problems, here, anyway."
Ruri is quiet, for a moment; she's sad, too. And part of that is --
"... why are you afraid?" She asks, at length, those strange gold eyes looking up to meet Eight's again. "What's happening to you is normal. Would you be this scared if it happened without warning? If you don't know how you feel, you can't do anything about it. You shouldn't be a fool like me, Eight-san."
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Eight has an easier time focusing on the Nadesico, at first. If she focuses on Ruri, then that's simpler. "It's..." It's complicated, Eight wants to say, but she doesn't feel as confident saying it as she would've a few minutes ago. She pushes ahead, "There are times..."
She pauses. "It's hard," she agrees instead. "I try to talk about mine more," she models, "Because it's important."
And Ruri of course wants to talk about this problem, and Eight can't hide the terror she's trying to put back down. She closes her eyes for a moment, and then opens them. She sees Ruri; she sees the whale on the wall; she sees Archimedes. She sees Aarmi, and Zaress. She feels the fabric of her uniform, unused to it by now. She feels the firm deck of the ship under her legs. She feels...
It takes her a few moments, before she can talk. "..." It's normal. "You're not a fool," Eight says gently to Ruri. "But I can't help how I feel, either. The idea that they'll be afraid because of me is..."
She sighs, as she places a hand on the cool, hard floor. Another thing she feels. The hum of the computers, the flapping of Archimedes's headwings she hears...
"It makes my heart seize up." She looks back into Ruri's eyes. "But I know what to do with fear. You face your fear, and find a way to deal with it. You're right; if I don't know, I can't do anything about it. So this is better."
"..It's just," her voice cracks slightly, "Just a little hard, right now." She breathes slowly, calming herself as best she can. "I just... need a moment."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
It doesn't feel important, when the Nadesico would rather focus on antics than angst.
Ruri doesn't say that, though.
"I see," she says, neutral as ever. Of course she is concerned for Eight; of course she feels bad. It registers neither in her face nor her tone. "It's all right. I know where the AED is, so you don't have to worry." That's not the kind of heart seizing Eight's talking about, but it's the kind of concrete assistance she can offer.
She falls silent, looking up at the vistas of the ocean life swimming across the Observation Deck's vast displays.
For some reason, researching Eight's situation just made her upset... well, it's not as if she's ever really been able to relate to people, anyway. The truth shouldn't upset people like that.
Oh, well.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Eight assumes Ruri is concerned; she burns with some guilt over concerning her in the first place, especially when she was already doing Eight a favor in the first place. But she tries to head off those thoughts, to give herself a little grace, because she knows the alternative.
After a few more moments, Eight's breathing evens out a little more. She's not entirely done with the feeling, but she at least thinks she has control over it.
She smiles, after that. "Thank you," she says. "I won't worry about that, then." A pause.
"I'm sorry that I reacted that way. It seems I'm more afraid of it than I realized I was. I'll have to talk to my doctor. Thank you for your thoughtful response."
Then, she considers, "...I hope you'll think about the other thing we talked about, too, though."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
"It's fine," Ruri says. The words are an apology, but they're reserved as ever. "I was too harsh. I shouldn't interfere with adult things, anyway."
And she is still quite neutral, as she says, "I'll speak to the Captain. I can't compromise the running efficiency of the Nadesico, but there may be times it's reasonable for me to leave. So long as the risk of conflict is low. Well, Mr. Prospector might not be thrilled about me going outside without someone keeping track of me, but it's not like I'm going to run away."
There's no emotional connection to the words she's saying, though.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
"All you did was tell the truth," Eight says. "It's better to be ungentle than to not speak up at all, with something this important."
But... Neutral. Eight doesn't think she can get any further there, today. But it's a start. She nods. "Yes," she says. "Mr. Prospector will be fine; you don't have to go out alone to go out, after all."
...Well, ,she is a little worried.
"Thanks. ...And thank you for looking after the twins. Do you mind if we stay with you a little longer? Lavhi doesn't get off work for a while yet, and I'd rather stay here than wait around."
"You could show me what you've been showing them."
<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
Ruri is easily alienated. It's not even Eight's fault, really; attempting to involve herself only to frighten her friend is just hard on her, too. It's all attachment theory, getting down to it, avoidant of intimacy.
She wouldn't think of herself that way, of course. The people who raised her were very supportive; rotely so. If it wasn't the kind of reassurance she wanted, it was on her for being a difficult child.
But she can accept, logically, that Eight appreciates being told the truth. ... even if it's difficult to feel much about it, now.
"They don't want to lose their investment," she lays it out, unblinking.
And she nods. "It's all right. They're comfortable right now, so it doesn't make sense to move them. Archimedes, please run Eight-san through your new program."
"Learning! Learning!" Archimedes flaps her headfins, as she starts going through her lesson plan again. "Water, water! Big water! The ocean! Different animals down there!" And the pictures she displays are all very cheerful.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
It's something Eight tries not to do, of course. And usually she succeeds. But the occasional failure is inevitable, and fine; this is what she has to remember.
...It's harder to keep it all together without the same old medication regimen, but overall....
Eight's problem is certainly not the absence of feeling just now, though.
Eight is still a little off her game when Ruri lays it out so bluntly, but she manages, "And we want the best for you, too. Beyond that."
But they're comfortable, so...
"Thank you, Archimedes."
It won't be that long before one or both of the twins starts crying; they're going to get hungry in a little while. But for a few minutes first, at least, Eight can have some peace to come down off onto.
With cheerful pictures, no less. She smiles at Zaress and Aarmi as they turn towards the Haro...