2023-08-31: A Normal Family
- Log: 2023-08-31 A Normal Family
- Cast: Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari
- Where: Rei's Apartment, Tokyo-3
- OOC - IC Date: August 31, UC 0097 (2023)
- Summary: On the way home after a trip to Tashirojima, Shinji works up the nerve to ask Rei about his father--and Rei asks him in turn if he would enjoy a family dinner.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
It was a long if pleasurable day, enjoying the company of the feline compatriots - compatricats? - of the people of Japan (and, Area 11, yes) and when the group reached the transit hub nearest to Tashirojima, they had divided into separate trains to different destinations - some aiming, of course, for Tokyo-proper, and others to cross the border. And some...
Well, to return to Tokyo-3 by the same route as the old Hakone railways.
In Nouvelle Tokyo, while changing trains, a group of three who enjoyed each other's company lost one member. He had other business, and would return when he had the opportunity - not, it seems, a long journey away, but enough that it was convenient to debark here. And so it was Rei Ayanami and one other who boarded the evening train to Tokyo-3.
It is a strange time; the commuter traffic on this service is light enough in the middle of the week that the train had many empty seats, with the train itself travelling westwards, light shining dramatically into the passenger cabins...
But the light is nearly fading.
Rei had been watching the landscape go by, but as shadows swallow it up, Rei's attention turns away from the window, and away from the slowly-appearing reflection of herself.
"It's late," Rei says. "Do you want to eat at the station?"
For of course, there will be one MORE train between the two of them and home -- but at least that will be the legendary efficiency of the Tokyo-3 municipal train network.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Despite being a mere branch administrator, Kaworu is arguably one of the best workers NERV has. Consequently, on the way back to Tokyo-3 from Tashirojima, Kaworu received a call letting him know there was some business in Nouvelle Tokyo they wanted him to handle on his way back from his trip. Kaworu had given Shinji and Rei both a rueful smile and excused himself, saying he would catch up. Shinji had offered him a smile and words of understanding, and promised to see Rei home safely.
And then he and Rei had gotten on the train as the evening grew ever deeper.
He watches the last of the light fade with the sunset, but he's thinking of how to bring up what he wants to discuss with Rei now that he has the opportunity to do it. He's just about settled on a course when--to his genuine surprise--Rei speaks to him first.
"Huh? Oh--yeah, good idea," he replies, blinking. "I wonder if they have any ekiben left." Those are usually for lunches, after all. But there are other options too.
"It's a shame Kaworu-kun had to work all of a sudden," he adds. "He's really devoted to... well, I guess he's a devoted guy in general, but he's really devoted to helping people." He pauses. "Does... does it make you lonely at all? I mean, between the two of us, I'm sure you wish it were him here instead of me..."
He doesn't even mean that in a self-deprecating sense, unusually. It only makes sense that one would rather be with a boyfriend than a boy who is a friend. (And never mind that he's been just fine with Kaworu and Rei's company and not Asuka's. He does still miss her, at least, and surely that's enough.)
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
"Maybe," Rei says. "They're a little old, now."
But not necessarily inedible. And perhaps there would even be a discount...
Rei takes a breath and lets it out at what Shinji says, and her attention - which had already turned from the window and the reflection of herself - turns fully towards Shinji. Her hands fold in her lap. "Yes," Rei says. "I think he takes on additional tasks." From her tone of voice, the idea is somewhat alien to her -- but then she's never been a stand-out student despite her evident talent.
Rei blinks several times at the question.
Long enough to move a few kilometers closer to Tokyo-3 before she replies: "I don't know." Another rolling along, the passing of a distant light. "I had not thought of it."
Rei reaches over to pick up her ever-present black bag, setting it on her lap and opening it to fish out a blue packet of nutritional gel-drink (or something like that) as well as a smaller-than-typical container of pills. Maybe she's breaking up the regimen, or it changed.
"I will see him very late tonight, or else tomorrow," Rei continues. "Do you wish he were here, too?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"A little," Shinji concedes. "But they're probably still good. If they still have them." They'll find out soon enough--their stop isn't too far away now. His smile turns a little rueful. "Kaworu-kun's always doing so much for everyone else, and he always does it with a smile. It's hard to know when he really is okay and when he's actually suffering. I worry about him sometimes."
But then Rei is taken aback by his question. Shinji waits for a while, then voices a low, "Umm..." before Rei finally gives her response.
It's not really what he expected. At the same time, it's very Rei. She and Kaworu have that infinite patience in common, among other things. She'll see him later tonight, or else tomorrow, and therefore it's okay if she doesn't see him for now. Kaworu's like that too. We'll meet again--he doesn't say it all the time. But he's said it enough that it's stuck in Shinji's consciousness.
"...Yeah. But I know he's doing something important. I can't make him hang around me all the time. It'd be unfair." Shinji looks down at his hands, folded in his lap. "...Lately... I've been thinking... maybe my father's like that too. Um... What do you think, Ayanami?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei puts two pills in her mouth and squirts some of that gelatin into her mouth as well. She swallows, with a little effort. The umm-m of Shinji Ikari is perhaps heard, but is not weighed to be a thing needing immediate attention...
Until he says more.
Rei looks towards him when he speaks up, even as she takes a larger tablet and puts it in her mouth, under her tongue it seems, and takes another slurp from the gel pack as he does. This means she has, for once, a very good reason to not simply speak up in reply; it lets her organize her thoughts. Maybe this is where she built the habit.
"Yes," Rei says.
But she knows it's not enough.
"He is devoted to his work. More so, I think, than Nagisa," and the term has depths of fondness, perhaps, even if it's really still quite formal. "I don't see him often; recently, away from the Geofront."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
For a moment, Shinji watches Rei as she intakes her pills. He's never paid close enough to her pill regiment to know that this is different from her usual, but he's definitely paid close enough attention to know that this is normal for her. Although he's not as patient for her response as Kaworu would be, it does help him wait.
He makes that suggestion; Rei agrees with it. Shinji nods. He kind of figured she would, considering the first and last time they discussed his father.
"I was talking about it with Guy-san after--after Gridman had to leave," he replies, turning his gaze forward. "He thought that Father really gives his all into his job. And when you think about how his job is protecting humanity..."
He swallows hard. "I've been wondering this for a while." Ever since his father praised him for the job he did with Sahaquiel. It's been just shy of two months now. "Maybe he didn't leave me at my teacher's to abandon me... Maybe he made a hard decision because--because that's what the world needed."
The idea that his father left him behind so he could focus on protecting the Earth from the Angels, rather than because he didn't want or need him anymore, is comforting to Shinji. The Angels won't be around forever. Once they're gone, maybe... maybe he can actually have a relationship with his father.
He clears his throat and shoots Rei another quick glance. "...What do you think of that?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei's attention doesn't leave Shinji. He says several things, themselves interesting and even more interesting for coming from Shinji, in rapid succession - he mentions Guy Shishioh, and he also mentions Gridman.
Something in Rei makes a quiet pang.
Rei takes in a deep breath. She lets it out.
"Yes," Rei says. "I think that he wishes to protect humanity. I don't understand all of it, but you're correct." They're both correct. As she shakes out another palm-full of pills, Rei swallows them and finishes the drink as well, after which she seems to settle back into the seat fractionally more than before.
Her head turns to look towards Shinji.
She does not smile now... she frowns; but it is a small and thoughtful frown.
"It might be," Rei says. "I never asked him."
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Her head tilts downwards now. The frowning of thought remains.
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"I wonder," Rei says.
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Her eyes focus on Shinji.
"... We would have met, earlier."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Mm." On one hand, it's reassuring to know Rei agrees with this perspective. On the other hand, it doesn't make Shinji any closer with his father now. "I wish I could ask Father about it. But... I'm scared," he admits. "He praised me after the mission with the Eleventh Angel, but we haven't really talked since then. If he's starting to think better of me, I don't want to make him mad by asking dumb questions."
And in his phrasing Shinji betrays a fundamental assumption--that even if his father had a really good reason to leave him behind, he still doesn't like him--still sees him as a bother. This doesn't occur to Shinji himself. He simply nods when Rei says she wouldn't know because she's never asked. Which is only natural. Why would she ask about something like that?
But... when she suggests that maybe they could've met earlier... "I wish we could've," Shinji replies, smile subdued but sincere. "It was awkward at first, but now that we've gotten to know each other better, it's really comfortable being around you." He thinks about saying something about how it's no wonder two guys ended up dating her or something like that, but decides against it. He can't think of a way to say it that doesn't make it weird, and while it probably won't bother Rei, it will bother him.
"Hey, Ayanami... You and Father get along, right?" he asks. "I've seen the two of you talking before, and you both seemed happy... What kind of stuff do you talk about? I'd like--" He takes a deep breath, straightens his back. "I want to try to get closer to him, but I don't want to make him mad by wasting his time. If there's anything that comes to mind for you, it'd really help me out a lot."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
He's afraid to ask.
Rei can sympathize; or at least, understand. She has learned that Commander Ikari's manner of speaking can grate with others, and to the extent that she has imitated it... It's not a thought she has developed further, perhaps, but it has gotten that far within the water and light within her.
"Yes," Rei answers. She smiles - it's a faint and ghostly smile but it's there - perhaps it becomes easier each time that it happens. And then Shinji poses a question.
"We often don't," Rei says. "We do not speak beyond pleasantries," she clarifies a moment later.
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"When we went to Thailand, he explained the differences in weather," Rei says, "and arranged for Thai cuisine, to ensure that I would not be shocked by it."
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Her eyes turn towards Shinji.
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"Would you eat with him?"
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<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji can see where Rei might've picked up his father's mannerisms--they both have that brusque, to-the-point manner of speaking--but he rather thinks that Rei's more approachable than his father. He'd assume it's just him, but even Guy admitted that he didn't know what was going on in Gendo's head. And there is Fuyutsuki, but Fuyutsuki, while less cold, is also arguably even less approachable. Certainly Shinji doesn't know him any better by comparison.
"You don't?" Shinji utters, surprised. "But he really seems to like you..." Despite being an introvert himself, it's hard for Shinji to grapple the idea that one might just like to not talk. Even he likes conversation--he and Kaworu talk about anything and everything. Kaworu's so easy to talk to...
Then again, even if they have a similar work ethic, Kaworu and Gendo couldn't be more different in terms of their personality. Thinking this over, Shinji resolves to have a more open mind. His father likes Rei for a reason. If it is in fact because they can just sit in silence most times, then...
...then that doesn't really help him, does it? They already don't talk.
Shinji's shoulders sag--but then Rei describes an experience where Gendo took care of her and spent time with her. Shinji looks up, listening.
"Well..." He considers the question; then he nods. "...Yeah. It's something to talk about. Maybe I could make him something to eat... If he's really busy, it must be hard for him to get food. I could start making lunches for him too." Hope kindles in his eyes as he mulls over the prospect and only finds it more appealing with time. After over a year of making lunches for his flatmates and friends, he's gotten pretty good at cooking, if he says so himself. Maybe he could even get his father to praise him again...! "What kind of food does he like? Do you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
"No," Rei confirms. They really don't say much.
She watches Shinji, as he thinks. Somehow, it is comfortable to do so, even if he has pain.
Rei's head tilts to the side. "He enjoys beef," Rei says, in a tone of -- disapproval? She doesn't eat meat, after all, and he does; perhaps even they are not in perfect synch.
"You wouldn't eat lunch together," Rei continues.
"If you would eat with him," Rei says, "then I will --"
A momentary faltering.
She seems faintly flushed as she says, "I will invite him, to dinner, and you as well. Perhaps others, if you think it would assist."
Rei does not have much experience with holding dinners, after all.
At the words, the automatic voice speaks up, warning them of the approaching station. Please do not leave unclaimed baggage...
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Beef, huh... Yeah, if his father likes beef, then Rei wouldn't be a fan of that, huh. It discourages Shinji, silently. If food isn't important enough to his father that it could be a point of connection between him and the Child he does like, then maybe he's got the wrong idea after all. Maybe the only thing that matters to his father really are the Evangelions.
There's his mother, of course, but his father got rid of all the pictures he had of her. Maybe thinking of anything materialistic is the wrong way to go...
Plus Rei points out that if Shinji made his father lunch, they wouldn't eat it together. This one gets him to blink. Even though it'd literally just been what Rei had suggested, he hadn't actually pictured himself eating with his father.
"Oh," he utters. Overhead, the speakers play their automatic message. "Oh! Right--just eating together like a normal family." He pauses. Then he smiles a little. "Yeah... if it's you doing the inviting, I'm sure he wouldn't say no. It might be easier if there's more people there and not just him and me. As long as we can spend a little time together, then that's good enough for me. It'd be a step in the right direction, right?"
He stands up then. He didn't bring much with him, so there's nothing to carry; what he needs is already in his pockets. So instead, he offers a hand to Rei. "Let's go get something to eat and come up with a good menu, then. Something everyone can enjoy."
He doesn't know who else he'd invite to a dinner party like this, but this much is a good start. Better than he could've come up with on his own, really.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Like a normal family.
Rei blinks several times at the turn of phrase.
Something about it...
It hurts? But not the way her body usually hurts.
"Mm," Rei says, with a slight nod. "Perhaps the others." (Meaning, perhaps, Mari and Kaworu; though perhaps those are strong medicine to mix into an event.) "I can prepare something. Perhaps, you could prepare something, as well. And, you will not be in the center."
A beat or two passes. She raises herself up, bringing the medical bag with her; it jingles, faintly, from a small cat-face charm with a tiny bell that Rei had purchased at the ferry station.
"I have wanted to make pasta," Rei says; and from her tone, she does mean to *make* it, not simply to prepare it. She looks at Shinji, then, and her hand reaches out to clasp his, her touch slightly cool as it always is.
And perhaps it is the most ordinary sort of conversation Shinji will have had with Rei, looking backwards; for there is, now, a topic, one with something to say and upon which to opine... and one on which they share enthusiasm.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"I'll let you decide who to invite," Shinji says. In a way, this is him passing the buck; if her guest list is a hit, then his father will be pleased, and if it's not, then at least he won't be displeased with him. But Rei really does know his father better. Shinji would be lying if he said that didn't make him at least a little jealous, but it's not a competition.
...At least, he hopes it's not.
"Pasta... That sounds good. Then... I'll be in charge of making something with beef, so you don't have to handle it," he offers, smiling. "Maybe a bolognese sauce to go with the pasta, or maybe sauce and meatballs? It really depends on what kind of pasta you make. Oh, but don't worry, I'll make a pesto sauce or something too, so you can have something you like there!"
And so their conversation progresses--main dishes, side dishes, vegetarian and meat dishes. A normal family, and a normal conversation, about a normal dinner. It seems so ordinary in the present moment, and yet one day, when he looks back, it will be so dear to him it too hurts.