2023-07-16: Try and Trust will Move Mountains
- Log: 2023-07-16 Try and Trust will Move Mountains
- Cast: Shinji Ikari, Mari Makinami Illustrious
- Where: Geofront, Tokyo-3
- OOC - IC Date: July 16, UC 0097 (2023)
- Summary: Shinji has been meaning to get to know Mari better, but before he can approach her, Mari takes the initiative to talk to him about Kaworu and Asuka--among other things.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji Ikari always has a lot to think about, but that's especially true right now after Duma's mental attack on Tokyo-3. The Angel wasn't killed, and granted neither was anyone else, but there's no telling when it'll recover and try to hypnotize the city again.
It could literally come in at any time, too. The only reason they all have their own minds still is because the Evangelion pilots just happened to be in testing. So when the upcoming schedule for everyone's testing is much more grueling than usual, he can't even complain.
Despite that, today's tests aren't very hard. They haven't been in general since he started piloting with Kaworu. Kaworu makes everything easier, even in a time like this, and that puts Shinji at ease. It would've been nice if they could've hit the showers and gone home together... but Kaworu has some administrative work to finish up on top of pilot testing. After the two hit the showers, Shinji told him he'd wait up for him, and so Kaworu got dressed and went back to his office on his own.
Shinji took a little more time to shower, since why not. He towels himself off and puts on a simple black T-shirt and slacks, and leaves the towel around his shoulders so his hair can air-dry. From there, he heads out into a hallway and finds a chair, then rummages in his things for his SDAT.
Listening to music is a good way to both calm his heart and pass the time while he waits. And since he'll listen with eyes shut, he'll be very easy to sneak up on.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Sometimes things are just so consistent they make things too easy.
Take, for example, Mari Makinami Illustrious' synchronization tests. They have hovered within the perfect median of synchronization since she arrived from Bethany Base and no amount of conceivable stress has been able to deviate it, whether manufactured for the purpose of stress testing or entirely organic to the fact that they are all children performing what are more or less a seemingly unending sequence of suicide missions.
Even after the Tenth Angel nearly pacified the whole of Tokyo-3, even after everything rode on a bullet that failed to finish the Angel.
Average. Always average.
Mari doesn't seem to particularly mind the oddity of her standing out by never standing out, though. Some things are just so consistent they make things too easy, but that doesn't mean they're bad. Challenges are fun -- but what's wrong with easy?
Another example:
Shinji Ikari is listening to music, his eyes shut, sound and darkness shutting him away from the outside world as he waits for a certain someone.
And as he's waiting, someone does, in fact, sit down next to him; he'll be able to feel the gentle impact of someone settling into the seat beside him, perhaps, as he listens to his SDAT. Or maybe not. Really, it doesn't change what happens next:
Warm, familiar weight presses into Shinji's shoulder; a hand reaches to pluck one of those earbuds and draw it to his new companion's waiting ear.
And they'll just listen to the music in comfortably intimate silence like that. Maybe it's Kaworu. Maybe Shinji won't just assume, and take a peek himself. Regardless--
Comfortably intimate silence only lasts so long before a very familiar voice that is absolutely not Kaworu's fills the air and, not a second later,
Mari Makinami Illustrious is resting her head on top of Shinji's, a coquettish curl to her lips and a glint in her glasses. You know the look:
B3
See? What's so bad about consistent, easy things, really?
Mari thinks they're quite fun.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Life is never easy for Shinji. But it's not always hard, either. If he actually paid attention to Mari's scores, he might wonder about how she always manages to stay so average, but he's honestly so caught up in himself that it's never really stood out to him as weird. After all, it's explicitly average, the opposite of weird. And if Kaworu isn't that different, the way he's always about five to ten points behind everyone else, then that's actually pretty normal, right?
And never mind that despite this, Kaworu seems to be able to effortlessly boost other people's scores by piloting with them. It's just his special ability. There's nothing wrong with having something like that, right?
He's almost to dozing off, chin dipping to his chest to the rhythm of the song on his SDAT, when he feels someone sit next to him. "Kaworu-kun?" he murmurs, and smiles a little, already a little more at ease. Right; only Kaworu would be this gently assertive... it's one of many things he likes about him... and maybe it'd be nice to listen to a song together as their shoulders touch, and his hair drapes along his face...
...
...
Wait a second.
Shinji peeks one eye open just as there is a distinctly un-Kaworu-like "ufu~" and Shinji is greeted with the sight of a catty four-eyed smile.
"WAAAAUGGGHH!!"
It's fortunate that his father's old SDAT is a solid piece of technology; when it falls as he hurls himself away from Mari and onto the floor, it'll pop open the cassette inside but otherwise be just fine. "M-M-Mmm-M-M-Makinami-san!! Wh-wh-wh-what are you doing here?!" he yelps, heart hammering in his chest as his eyes all but bulge out of his head.
The towel, too, drifts to the tiles, entirely forgotten. Rei had said that surprising and teasing people wasn't really Mari's true nature, but it's hard to believe that when she keeps doing things like this!!
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
What WOULD a Kaworu-like "ufu~" sound like?
Perhaps the world will never know....
They certainly won't know in the immediate sense because there is no Kaworu to be found here; only mischievous Maris, and scrambling Shinjis. The Third Child all but launches away from the Unnumbered Child with such force that the SDAT's earbud just sort of pops out of her ear. Mari is left to watch, both bemused and amused, as Shinji makes the floor his sprawl: she leans forward, perches her elbows on her knees and her chin on her palms, and watches with wide-eyed wonder as Shinji yelps out his dismay and confusion.
Big blue eyes blink once, twice.
"Ara?" wonders Mari,
"Performing a test, of course~."
Thanks to the wonders of context it's a pretty natural assumption that she means one of the battery of them that NERV has been subjecting them all to. And indeed, Mari's clothing is simple at the moment - consisting of jean shorts and a Union Jack tank top and flip flops, without even her trademark twintails or headband - like someone who's put on a fresh change of clothes.
Not that Shinji will get much time to dwell on it, considering that not so much as a second later Mari is limply falling out of her chair with all the lazy grace of a cat, taking her on a path towards the fallen Shinji. One hand plants against the floor at the side of his face. The other reaches--
There is a flurry of white before Shinji finds the familiar, forgotten warmth of his towel wrapping round his shoulders again.
And Mari's face, inches away from him.
"So," she begins, abruptly, smile bright and curious.
"Good listen, or bad listen?"
--?
Does she mean the SDAT and if so in what context, or--
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It takes a few seconds for Shinji's heart rate to come under control. When Mari gives him that oh-so-uncomplicated answer, that she's also here for testing, he settles into a glare. "I didn't mean that--!"
But then she's falling--oozing?--out of her chair, and concerns sparks as he pushes himself upright and leans forward. "A-are you all--"
Oh. That's her getting VERY close. Yeah, she's just fine. He might start steaming out his ears, though. It doesn't really get better when she hands him his towel, which he grabs with unnecessary force to rub into his neck and face.
"It was a good listen until you barged in to tease and surprise me. Again," he says crabbily. Rei had said that this isn't really Mari's true nature, but the idea that this is how she's choosing to try to teach lessons gets under his skin in the same way that Misato's seeming flightiness used to get under his skin. He's thus just frustrated enough after that interaction to overcome his usual timidity, and so: "Makinami-san, are you doing a bit? If you are, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop. I have a girlfriend."
That last part is said with particular emphasis. As if Mari should for some reason be particularly mindful of what's Asuka's. He doesn't really grasp, much less appreciate, the way in which she is.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Is she doing a bit?
"If I was, would that be so bad?" she wonders, first and foremost, disregarding the matter of Asuka for the moment as if grasping on the thing she finds most immediately interesting in regards to Shinji himself.
"And if I wasn't, does that mean you'd appreciate my continuing?"
She lowers a little bit further, bright blue eyes lidding behind red-rimmed glasses.
"You should be more honest with your wants, Puppy Boy."
... And, when she's lowered just so, the reason why becomes apparent as she leans -away- from Shinji towards his right, reaches out...
... and plucks up that opened SDAT.
It's not a second later that she commits fully to that rightward movement and smoothly rolls off and away from Shinji, stopping in a lazy sprawl beside him on the floor with SDAT in hand. She looks at the thing for a moment with an expression that looks almost fond before she pops that casette back in, closes the lid,
and then dangles one of those earbuds in front of Shinji with an inviting smile.
She doesn't vocalize it, but the sentiment is clear:
If he was enjoying his listen, why not continue?
Who knows what a new context might do?
"So," Mari says, affixing the other earbud in her ear regardless of if Shinji takes it or not.
"How -are- things going with you and her highness~?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji makes a strangled attempt at a comeback, but it dies in his throat just as he tries to process what she just said. It's distinctly not an actual answer, and it's distinctly a pair of questions meant to make him think about what he just said. Maybe Rei was right about her doing a bit and trying to teach the rest of them something. Either way--
"You know, asking a bunch of questions like you're doing right now is only cute when Kaworu-kun does it," he says flatly, mustering up all the indignation he can. Too late he realizes his mistake, and his eyes widen before he blurts out, "Not that I'm saying Kaworu-kun's cute or anything, he's a boy--w-wait, that's right, he only looks like a--aahhh, geez!! Why do you have to be like this?! Just be normal!!"
Is he yelling that last part at Mari or at himself? ...Who knows?
Red-faced, he grabs that earbud away from Mari, only to be too rough and worriedly fuss at the cord until he's sure he hasn't ripped anything. He heaves a sigh and dangles it from one hand--not listening to it up close, but not denying the music, either. "I didn't say you could listen with me," he says petulantly, but he doesn't stop Mari from putting the other earbud in her ear either.
That blush remains when Mari asks about Asuka, but now for a different reason. "It's... okay," he says cautiously. But then he shakes his head a little--wasn't he saying to himself he wanted to get to know Mari better because of how close she is to Asuka? He heaves a sigh and pulls his legs up to his chest as he leans against the nearest chair.
"I think it's pretty good. The last time we had a date, it felt like we finally clicked," he says quietly. Even if the kiss still didn't really feel right. But that much he's not going to say. "It's been a long while since then, though. Things just keep happening and we haven't had time to go out again. I think she might be waiting for me to ask her out? But I don't know what would be good or what I should do." He pauses, and he leans his chin on his knees. "...I'm scared I don't really know how to be a good boyfriend."
It's absurd to him that he's entrusting these delicate and easily bruised feelings to someone like Mari, who might just end up teasing him again. But, one more time, Rei said that wasn't her true nature. Asuka and Kaworu seem to trust her in their own ways, too--and he heard after the Sahaquiel battle that she'd rushed to help him when she'd heard his screams. Shinji... would like to be able to share that trust.
Maybe this is his own kind of test for her.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
... asking a bunch of questions like you're doing right now is only cute when Kaworu-kun does it.
Dark brown brows lift a lazy fraction of an inch.
Not that I'm saying Kaworu-kun's cute or anything, he's a boy--
And lift.
--aahhh, geez!! Why do you have to be like this?! Just be normal!!
And lift!
"Oho," voices Mari,
"The puppy doth protest too much~."
If Shinji is looking for a confirmation as to Rei's assertion on Mari's nature, he won't find it here -- at least, not at face value. Mari's voice comes with that telltale, teasing lilt -- yet past the surface features, her tone doesn't -feel- like she's necessarily teasing -him-. Not maliciously, anyway. It's more...
... fond?
Like the little stare she gave the SDAT, seconds before putting it back into fighting shape.
He didn't say she could listen, he claims, and that's true.
But Mari just offers him a little smile and a wink.
Because he didn't say she couldn't, either.
Mari seems content just to share that song with Shinji to listen to together, though; hands planting on the floor beneath her, knees drawing up, she settles into a half-lounge, half-sit on the ground as Shinji cautiously works his way through his first non-answer. She doesn't press, though, she doesn't push him to answer any further than that. She just shuts her eyes, gives a little "mm?" and continues listening, as if she's content to leave it at that if that's where he wants to leave it.
Indeed, she remains remarkably relaxed and quiet afterward; her head is slowly bobbing to the rhythm of the music as she waits for Shinji to arrive at his actual answer. His honest answer. And when he does...
One eye cracks open in a sliver of blue, peering at Shinji past thick lashes as he explains. A dark brow arches as he moves past the 'pretty good' towards his own self doubts.
And then that eye shuts once more.
"Mm."
A second passes. And then,
"'Try and trust will move mountains,'" quotes the unmarked Child, full of self-indulgent seriousness as if to help indicate that this is recitation. She even layers a hand over her heart for emphasis, keeping herself propped up on one arm as she continues.
"Superficial attraction just needs the right spark. But to really connect to someone, to really be a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you have to know them... and that means they have to know you, too. What you like, what you dislike. The boundaries that they can push for the perfect surprise, and the ones they know to avoid. You need to be exposed, Puppy Boy. Even just the tiniest sliver."
Those eyes crack open more fully as Mari looks directly at Shinji, expression even and smile small.
"So! What do you know about the princess?"
A second passes, before she adds one final crucial thing:
"And what do you think she knows about you?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
The puppy doth protest too much~, Mari lilts.
"Leave me alone! Geez!" Shinji protests, knowing she's exactly right.
Still, it's true. He's never felt like Mari's ever been malicious in her teasing. She's a little--okay, maybe a lot like Misato that way. Misato's always giving him grief, and never cleaning up after herself, and even when she does chores she's always messing them up, and it's truly aggravating... but with her he felt like he had an actual family. Someone who cared if he was around or not, who'd listen to him and his complaints, and maybe she wouldn't do anything about those complaints necessarily but she'd always face him with a smile.
He doesn't really understand why Mari would be like that too if it isn't just her nature. But maybe Rei only has somewhat of an idea of what she's like. As close as the two of them are, and as far as she's come since they first met, he knows Rei is as clumsy with people as he is--maybe moreso.
So he heaves another huffy sigh at Mari's little smile and wink, but he still doesn't tell her no. And from there, he chooses to open up to her, to trust in... if not her than the ones he cares about who trust her. Even if she does end up teasing him, he's pretty sure she cares about Asuka, and maybe she'll help him for her sake. ...but he sort of thinks Mari will help him for his own sake, too.
At least, he hopes she will.
"Sorry?" he says at her initial quote, not quite following. But... as she continues, he thinks he gets it. That might be worse than not getting it. "...That sounds scary," he admits. "But I'll try."
For Asuka, and for Kaworu who tried so hard to help them be together even though he doesn't like her...
"Um... I know she's a Coordinator," he starts, which might be discouraging considering that's not actually true. However: "I know she was a soldier in the AEU before she was an Eva pilot. I think... her bosses made her do terrible things. But I don't know a lot about that." His eyelashes dip. "I know she's hard to please, because her standards are really high. She doesn't really care about what she eats, but she does care that it's good. She's always challenging like that. She's proud and violent... but she's also thoughtful and kind, deep down." He smiles fondly. "I know she doesn't like people noticing that about her. What else... She's good friends with Horaki-san. Horaki-san's really strict to most people, but she's nice to Asuka, so maybe that has something to do with it."
He looks over at Mari. "I think she's bad at people, like I am. I think maybe that's part of why I like her. She doesn't let people in easily. When she finally does, it feels like... you've been bestowed a huge honor. You know? She argues with you a lot, but I think she enjoys it, and I think you know that too, so you probably know what I mean."
What does Asuka know about him, though? He opens his mouth, then hesitates. "I'm... not sure," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. He droops when he thinks back to their last date; some guilt bubbles up in his heart now. "...She knows that things are... complicated, between me and Father."
'Complicated.' It's such a weak word, he knows. But he doesn't want to say things are bad. That he hates him, that he's hated by him. Not when he finally has hope that isn't true.
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
...That sounds scary, admits Shinji Ikari. Mari Makinami Illustrious, knowing full well the harrowing burden of the hedgehog's dilemma, responds with eloquence,
by lifting her hands and wiggling her fingers and making a spooky
"OOooooOOOOOooooOO~!"
sound.
It's got layers! Really!
And it comes with an accompanying shift in Mari's position as she bends forward, draping arms over her knees and settling her chin atop them.
"It's scary," she finally confirms,
"But that's how you know it's worthwhile, Puppy Boy. Overcoming the scariest things in life is how we find the most important ones~."
Well, not -always-.
But that's not the lesson here.
Rather than expounding, though, Mari instead once more patiently listens to the answers to her questions. They're not easy ones -- not ones that can simply be answered reflexively, like 'how are you,' or 'are you hungry'. That the first thing he says is simply a fabrication of the powers-that-be inspires the tiniest quirk of Mari's lips, but little more than that as he goes on to speak of the rougher, more painfully true parts of her background. A soft "hum" escaping her lips, her expression is an approving thing as he continues on -- an expression that just blooms all the more fully as he correctly identifies one simple fact:
I think she's bad at people, like I am.
She's positively beaming, eyes shut and grin broad, by the time Shinji flips that observation of Asuka's argumentative nature back on her.
"It's one of her highness' cutest qualities." <3
w-why is that cute--
But Shinji continues. And that second question -- that's what truly trips him up. He stumbles. Reaches the first answer he can think of.
And falters on the face of it.
Complicated
Mari's jubilance fades towards something more pensive as Mari considers Shinji thoughtfully.
"Hmm," she exhales, slowly. "Do you know how complications arise between people?" She waits, around three, maybe four seconds, before she continues, "They come from one side not understanding the other... or both side not understanding themselves. Sometimes, they know perfectly well, and know the things they want stand at cross purposes, but..."
Complicated. Things are complicated with Gendo, in a way that Shinji doesn't want to touch upon for fear of compromising it.
Things are complicated with Asuka, in a way he wants to fix.
Music playing in her ear, Mari scooches forward one inch, two, across the floor.
"And the easiest way to tell if someone knows you and knows what you want, is for YOU to know what you want." Her head tilts. Her smile returns, brows raising.
"So, Puppy Boy. Do you know what you want? Do you know what you want to do?
"Do you know the person you want to actually be?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Mari's spoooooky ghost fingers gets a grimace out of Shinji, somewhere between embarrassed and huffy. "Come on, I'm being serious," he complains. Lowering his voice, he mumbles, "I'm starting to get how Asuka must feel when she talks to you..."
But she does acknowledge him. Eventually. Scary things are how you know they're worth doing...
"Kaworu-kun said something like that once, too," he says quietly. It's not the same, but the sentiment is very similar, he thinks. "You two really are alike. Haha, maybe the two of you should date." He offers up a smile to show he's joking, until he remembers that Kaworu a) is in a polyamorous relationship and b) lives with Mari, and maybe Mari already is dating him and Shinji just didn't know. "Um, you aren't already dating, are you?" he thus adds warily.
There are a lot of things Kaworu just doesn't say, either about himself or about his work, but Shinji would hope he'd have mentioned this much to his best friend, at least!!
He does smile when Mari says Asuka being bad at people is part of what makes her cute. "That's just like you to say," he says with a bit of humor. "Oh, and Asuka's always playing on her WonderSwan..." and with her doll, he mentally adds. But he doesn't say that. He doesn't actually know if Mari knows about it, and if she doesn't, he's not going to be the one to tell her. "We went to the arcade together on our first date, since it seemed like a place she'd like, but..." That humor drains as he grimaces again, this time at the memory. "...it didn't go so well."
Given as Mari was there and recording the whole thing, she ought to know exactly how well it didn't go. But Shinji doesn't know that, either.
Instead, their other conversation continues. How do complications arise between people? "How...?"
Shinji thinks of the complications between him and his father. When he was eleven, his father dropped him off at his teacher's and left, never to return. His teacher told him that his father was doing work on something very important, involving the good of the world and mankind, but as a child, all he really understood was that his father didn't want him anymore. Was it really just as simple as a single father wanting to focus on the world before his family? Or was it--?
Oh wait, Mari's talking again. Shinji startles a bit, realizing he'd gotten so lost in his own thoughts that Mari had gone on without him. Then again, his silence said everything for him, didn't it.
But... people not understanding each other, or not understanding themselves, or understanding but knowing they're in conflict. "That makes sense," he says slowly.
He falls silent again. What does he want? Either to do, or to be? ...He doesn't really know. He's come to really enjoy cooking over time, but does he want to be a chef when he grows up? He's good enough at the cello now to perform in a recital and get applause for it, but does he want to be a musician when he grows up? He's gotten used to piloting the Evangelion, but is he going to remain a pilot after all the Angels are gone?
"I... don't," he admits quietly. "I've got things I like doing, like music and cooking, but I don't know if that's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Does that... mean I'm not good enough for her?"
Asuka used to say that a lot early on, that he didn't belong here in NERV. That he should just go home. She stopped saying so after Jophiel, and eventually she even told him he was improving in battle. His father... even his father has praised him, now. That means so much to him. Does that mean he ought to keep being a pilot? But Asuka wouldn't approve of someone who was only doing something for the praise, would she...?
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Haha, maybe the two of you should date.
Behind red-rimmed glasses, bright blue eyes hood. Lips curl in a catty smirk.
It all has the most perfect timing to underscore and undermine Shinji's joke and enhance his doubt. Like she just -knew- that what was coming next would be--
Um, you aren't already dating, are you?
That smirk just grows into a cheshire's grin.
"Oh, we've been on dates!" is her nonchalant reply to that wary question. And she lets it linger just like that, in a technical truth, just long enough to see and savor Shinji's reaction before she appends, also casually,
"Friend dates!"
Because she's not so cruel that she'll let him stew in uncertainty, -that- long.
It's also her benevolence that leads her to say nothing about how she knows every scintillating detail of Shinji and Asuka's first date; not that she -never- will, but now's not the right time! The poor puppy, after all, has enough on his plate without dealing with the profound embarrassment that is having video evidence of your first kiss presented to you like a Madden play-by-play. So her smile lingers instead, just not at its cheshire proportions, as she remarks, "Sounds like a perfect first date, then~."
And maybe the worst thing of all is that, lilting tone aside, she sounds very sincere about that.
A first date should be an embarrassing disaster, after all. They're the first stumbling steps that form the strongest, most memorable bonds.
Shinji is an introspective person. It's familiar in a deeply nostalgic way, for layers of reasons, to watch him grow lost in his own little world of internal debate for every prompt that Mari provides him. Some of those reasons why might make Shinji bury himself deeper within that world of doubt and uncertainty if he knew right now. Some others...
The reasons never come up. Instead, Mari just watches as he debates within himself with a fond smile, as if she could perfectly see the shape of all his back and forth tugs-of-war.
Instead...
Does that... mean I'm not good enough for her?
... Instead, Mari leisurely sits up straight. And suddenly--
"Hup! Hup! Hup!"
With little exclamations of effort, scooches herself bodily across the floor towards Shinji until she is once more in his personal space near the chair he props himself up with, reaching out...
... to gently flick Shinji between his eyebrows.
"Bzzzzt."
Once more, it seems like, for a scant few seconds, this might be the -only- input that she provides; Mari's upper body flops flexibly forward until she's pressing against her upraised knees, head tilted to let her cheek rest on the apex of her knees as she peers at the Third Child with an impassive gaze. Warm, but lacking that usual, bubbly energy the Evangelion pilot possesses.
"Do you think the princess knows what she wants any more than you do?" she wonders. "It means that you're on the same footing." People not understanding themselves.
How could they understand each other, then?
"It means whatever choice you make will be a good one. You just need to make it. Stressing about stuff like this is what makes life less fun."
A small smile touches her lips.
"Watch a concert. Cook a dinner for her. Do anything else. Find out together what you want.
"But you have to make the choice, to make the discovery. So...
"Go forth, young pup~."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Whaaat?! R-really?" Shinji utters, eyes widening. "Th-that's just like Kaworu-kun..." To go on dates with pretty girls and be so nonchalant about it he never brings it up... it's EXTREMELY like him. The way Mari says it, sounds like maybe that happened before he started dating Rei and Gridman--
Except then Mari clarifies, and Shinji makes another scrunched-up face again. "That doesn't count! Honestly... Am I really that fun to tease?" he grumps.
This is a rhetorical question. He knows perfectly well from Misato that he is, something he doesn't really like... and at the same time, doesn't really mind. It's annoying, and yet it doesn't upset him. Shinji himself doesn't really understand why this is. If he had to explain it, he'd put it as something he doesn't want to invite, but if it's happening anyway, it's something to grump at but not get truly bothered by.
Of course, Mari just does as she pleases most of the time, so this means that she'll probably tease him a lot going forward. She's a lot like Misato that way, except... his own age.
...
At least he thinks she's his own age?? She'd have to be, right? They wouldn't make children pilot things like Evangelions if they had any other options. If she seems older, it's just because she's weird like that. Like how Kaworu's weird like that.
But in a good way. For both of them, he thinks.
Which is why when she seems to sincerely believe that that disaster of a first date was perfect, he just grimaces at her and lets it rock. Because Mari is a weirdo in her own unique way. Like all of them, really. Maybe even him, he reflects--the only 'normal' human, and consequently, abnormal.
hich might be another reason to wonder if he's not good enough for Asuka, except-- "Uhh, wh-what are you--" He rears back, but Mari's arms are longer, and she flicks him on the forehead. He flinches, but... like a lot of Mari's other behavior, it's bizarre and kind of overwhelming but not actually bad. If there's anything that's bad, it's that way that Mari stares at him now. He stares back, bewildered, feeling like he did something wrong but unable to process what or why.
Of course, that's just the Shinji Ikari experience, so.
He falls quiet when she suggests that Asuka's also fumbling in the dark. That far from her being above him, they're on the same footing.
"...Kaworu-kun said something like that, too. That I should just do something instead of worrying about it," he says quietly. "He's always looking out for me and giving me good advice, and I'm too much of a coward to listen..."
Whatever choice he makes will be a good one... huh. He leans back and looks up at the ceiling. "I think... I was a little jealous. Things with Asuka were so hard for a while, and Kaworu-kun makes everything look easy. But I know that's not true. He suffers a lot too, but he's always smiling it away so other peple never notice. He must be suffering right now with what happened with Ayanami and Gridman, but he hasn't talked about it..."
Maybe one day Shinji will consider why getting good advice about what to do to be a better boyfriend makes him think not of Asuka but of Kaworu. Right now, it's still forbidden territory. Kaworu's his treasured friend, someone he trusts wholeheartedly. He doesn't... want to risk that.
Out loud, he concludes, "And Asuka would be too. All of what Duma's been doing lately must've reminded her of what happened in Tsutsujidai with Bujack. I bet she could really stand to blow off some steam." He gives Mari a little smile back. "Thank you, Makinami-san. I think I've got an idea of what to do now."
<Pose Tracker> Mari Makinami Illustrious has posed.
Is he really that easy to tease?
Why, the dangerously pleased smile on Mari Makinami Illustrious' lips should say it all!
As Asuka has often lamented, there is so much uncertain and unknown about Mari. And yet in other ways, she is an open book; there's no real effort on her part to conceal what she thinks, how she feels. No attempts to constrain her actions or let other people's thoughts or opinions constrain them, either. She doesn't hesitate to tell Shinji exactly what she's thinking, anymore than she hesitates to terrorize his world with her relentless teasing.
This is the paradox of Mari: she's exactly what it says on the tin.
It's just sometimes all the tin says is ????
It's another truth that for as talkative as Mari can be, she's also equally comfortable in silence. She says little as Shinji lapses into quiet introspection once more -- and she says little as Shinji's first, voiced thoughts relate to Kaworu, instead of Asuka. Her expression softens fractionally.
He suffers a lot too, says Shinji, but he's always smiling it away so people never notice.
It's a truth that Mari knows perhaps better than most. She could provide greater context; just as she could, perhaps, point Shinji towards how he seems to make those connections to Kaworu in times like this far more swiftly than he does even to Asuka, in a way that would also, likely, work in her own favor...
... but still, she says not a single word.
She just listens. And when Shinji comes to his conclusion, as he works his thoughts back to Asuka, Mari closes her eyes and smiles.
"Mm."
It's a simple sound. But in its little bit of brevity, it seems to carry a feeling of approval within it.
For Shinji's consideration of Asuka? For seeing how the events of Duma could be tying back to her own, bad experiences?
Or perhaps just the simple fact--
I think I've got an idea of what to do now.
-- that Shinji made his choice.
"Cracking~."
Regardless, a second later Mari is rocking backward, and then lurching forward as she uses the momentum to slowly push her way back up onto her feet. That the way she rocks forward and then lifts up puts her entire body -directly- in Shinji's personal space in a way that will get him up close and personal with Mari Makinami Illustrious for a few precious seconds makes no nevermind to her, of course.
And Shinji probably won't have too much time to think about it before she's lifting up, one hand planting on the top of his head. To ruffle it, like she did at the Katsuragi Household Dinner? Or--
--is she--
just -- using him as a handhold on her way to standing back up--
E-either way;
it's affectionate.
Soon enough, Mari is back on her feet and wiping off her hands, flashing Shinji the brightest of grins as she looks down at him.
"I look forward to seeing the fruits of your labor, Puppy Boy," she announces simply. How would she, though? Maybe she means the aftermath. She wouldn't just spy on Shinji and Asuka dating, right? That'd be absurd, right?
...... right?
"Of course, the Tenth Angel is still out there. There's no time to strike like the present!" After all--
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Even Mari doesn't!
"Better hop to it then, right?"
It's one of her favorite things about tomorrow.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It really does, and that's the most terrifying thing of all. But... actually talking to her one-on-one like this, Mari's a little less intimidating than she usually is--
wait
wait is she using him as a headrest--
is she using him as a stool
It'll occur to Shinji later that a year and a half ago, he'd never have been able to accept touch this casually, as vexing as it is. As it stands, while he glares at Mari, he doesn't actually shy away from her.
With all the time he's spent with his friends, including the surprisingly physical Kaworu if he gets permission to be, Shinji's just... more comfortable with touching and being touched. There's something beautiful about that.
It's why, even though he glares at her, there's little heat behind it. There's gratitude, even, that he seems to have pleased her, if that little 'mm' is any indication.
"Could you at least ask first?" he complains once she's stood up. He doesn't know what he would do if she did ask something like that, and he's not sure telling her 'no' would actually stop her. Regardless, he grabs the rest of a nearby chair and uses that to help himself up to his feet. He does give her a little smile again afterwards.
"I guess Asuka will tell you all about it, huh?" he assumes. That's 'girl talk,' right? Talking to your friends about boys and dates and stuff? Granted, it's hard for him to imagine Asuka indulging in that kind of thing, but if it's with Mari, he can believe it regardless of whether he can imagine it.
He's done a decent amount of 'boy talk' about this kind of thing with Kaworu, anyhow. Regardless, he nods at the grim reminder of the Tenth Angel. He doesn't know how things will turn out with them, and it might take some time before Asuka has the time for a date, but...
"Yeah. I will."
He'll listen to Kaworu and Mari, and take the first step this time. No matter how scary it is.