2023-07-13: Souvenirs and Sexuality
- Log: 2023-07-13 Souvenirs and Sexuality
- Cast: Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari
- Where: Rei's Apartment, Tokyo-3
- OOC - IC Date: July 13, UC 0097 (2023)
- Summary: After arriving home from the Orb Union with Kaworu, Shinji spends some time talking with Rei.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
It was surprisingly familiar. Almost normal. It might be a little strange to Shinji, as Rei's chosen new domicile has some things in common with the old (a dark entranceway - an industrial location - even a subtle machine-noise, if you pause to listen) but has so much different.
But as Kaworu excused himself, leaving Rei holding a bottle of fruit juice which she had chosen for herself after offering Shinji his choice (water, oolong, green, juice, all of them clearly collected from the combini down the street -- he would have also seen proofing dough, a range of vegetables, and three neatly-stacked veg udon meals, also from the combini), and with only Shinji Ikari in her sights.
Down the stairs to the bedrooms, of course, there may be terror lurking.
But it is not there now. The sun is still up, bright if slightly muted by the tint on the wall of glass. That machine-noise may be a heat pump, drawing heat steadily from the air and turning Japan's swelter into something else.
"Ikari," Rei says. "Come see." She turns afterwards, walking out to the main room.
And one thing has surely changed here: a wall that had been white is now almost entirely green. Long latticeworks of wood, apparently extended, now bear profligate tomato vines. Rei has clearly had to manually clear around the fiber-optic light collectors that pipe natural lighting downstairs, muted though it may be, but other than these three interrupted ports, what had been a white-washed concrete wall is now almost entirely green.
"See how much came from them," Rei says, indicating. Lush green leaves and thick stems going down into the soil bed. Green tomatoes, some of them starting to show signs of yellow-orange.
Rei is wearing a plain loose T-shirt in pale violet - a long one that comes down past her hips, along with a pair of white shorts.
One of the plants isn't doing that great - but that is because one of the long and narrow windowpanes shattered and has yet to be replaced, though it has been sealed with blue plastic and duct tape. The plants slightly shaded by this do not seem to have been as fruitful.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
After taking a day trip to the Orb Union to check up on Ruri, Kaworu and Shinji returned to Kaworu's home--Mari is out right now (probably), and Rei is in, so upon arrival at the apartment at the edge of the city, Kaworu gracefully bows out to take care of some chores on the lower floor so Shinji and Rei can spend some time together. Shinji bids him a see-you-later with intent to rejoin him later. For now, though, he's brought a backpack's worth of fresh South Pacific fruit back as souvenir. Rei will get a breadfruit; Shinji will leave a mango for Mari; Asuka and Misato will get their share later.
For refreshments, Shinji accepts tea. He's wearing a mid-sleeved shirt, sky blue from the shoulders up and white the rest of the way down, with yellow cargo shorts, his usual white sneakers, and a beige backpack with a strap that ran diagonal across his chest. He's taken it off for now to hand out the fruits, and is setting it down near the foyer, where everyone's shoes have been left, when Rei bids him follow.
"Oh, sure," he says, hurrying after her. He stops to take in the wood lattice and the tomatos that grow in profusion on them, delicately toeing around the light collectors that are so common in Tokyo-3.
"Wow!" he breathes, walking closer to get a better look. "I know you grew all those tomatoes we used the other day, but I didn't think you'd still have so many left!" His gaze travels further, and he kneels down to get a better look at the broken windowpane. He looks up at Rei and wonders, a little more subdued, "What happened here?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Without visual observation of Mari, she could be anywhere.
She could be behind you right now.
But she doesn't seem to be here now. Instead, Rei has placed the breadfruit on the little and not-heavily-used dining table off to one side of this airy space, with its piano and general openness. There is a rug, at least, though whether it ties the room together is a question one must answer for oneself.
"Yes," Rei says. "I think that I have almost overestimated it." She gazes at the tomato plants with pride. It is really quite a veritable forest; the soil that had seemed sere and black just a few months ago is now sprouting around a dozen thick stalks. Shinji may not be deeply into plants, but there are clear signs of tending - the lower reaches of the stalks have been trimmed and in some cases fastened with cable ties to the supporting framework, though nearer to eye level, they spread in lush profusion.
"I think two more, like what I had brought," Rei says. "But I cannot know if they will be as ripe. If you leave them on the plant, they stay fresher." This sounds like she was genuinely surprised to discover it.
Having said this, Rei looks up towards the window. "A sign flew in," Rei explains. "From --" Rei turns, and though there is no window in that direction, she gestures vaguely northeast.
Where a mountain is a little shorter, now, and an Angel destroyed.
"Do your hands hurt?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It's true, and Shinji knows that especially well after the recent dinner party, but don't remind him of that.
It's also true that Shinji isn't big into gardening, but even he can tell how much love has been put into these plants. It's genuinely wonderful to see. When they first met, Rei seemed like she didn't care about anything--anything but his father, that is. She was prepared to die on the mission against Ramiel. Now... her expressions might still be subdued, but he can hear that note of pride.
He's so happy for her that she has something to live for now--more than just a tenuous bond with a faceless 'everyone,' blocked off by her Evangelion.
"Oh, really? Don't you risk them getting overripe that way?" he wonders, of the tomatoes. It does make sense that they'd stay fresh that way, but they'd also keep growing until they were past their prime. ...or at least that's how it seems like it ought to be to Shinji.
But he asks about the window, and he gets an answer. "...Oh," he says, turning his gaze northeast with her. The view alone tells him everything.
Really, in light of that, she got off really easy. A broken window is nothing compared to that red flood.
He rubs his wrists when she asks about them. The bandages are off now. "Not so much, anymore," he says. "But it's been a couple of weeks now. At least I can move them normally. Taking exams was even harder with the bandages."
Though actually it probably would have been harder still without them, since they kept his wrists aligned with his hands and arms--but Shinji only knows what he experienced, not what he didn't.
"...Come to think of it, I need to thank Yu--I mean, Gridman. I heard he pulled us both out of that flood," he murmurs, gaze going distant as he stares at the shaved mountain. "Unit-01 was already out of power by then, so I didn't get the chance..."
He pauses. Then he looks up at Rei. With voice lowered, he awkwardly wonders, "How is, um. Dating him? And Kaworu-kun? I-if that's okay for me to ask." It's still hard for him the wrap his head around the three of them all dating each other at the same time--let alone that Kaworu, specifically, is dating a boy. That's long given him feelings he has not been able to unpack.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
"I think so," Rei says, "but they last a little while. It's different from the refrigerator. Though, I did collect the ones that I brought, for several days."
Was it not so long ago that to say such a thing would be inconcievable? Simply the logistics, the plausibility, of Rei Ayanami SPEAKING so much? The most she ever said was to relate the plan of Operation Yashima.
And she would have had to do it herself.
Rei nods faintly. "They're annoying," Rei says about the examinations. Her head tilts down then, slightly, though her eyes wrinkle just the slightest bit at the mention of Gridman. "Hm. I think that he would say, that there is no need, and that he was glad to do it."
There it is. It's undeniable now that you're close enough to hear it. Warmth.
"But, I think that he would appreciate it."
Rei is then asked a very good question, which doesn't seem to bother her, although Shinji may have a moment of interior anxiety when Rei raises her juice to her mouth and takes a sip. "Pleasant," Rei says. "I think that Gridman knows it best. It is interesting to go to places, and to be with others; and they are both pleasant to be with, too."
"What is it like, with the Second?" Rei says then, looking at Shinji, although she walks towards the table - and the breadfruit, with its menacing carapace.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It really is different, to see her like this. Compared to how she was before, she's downright lively. Considering in a very real sense Shinji started piloting for her sake--though he's never thought of it like that--it makes him feel better about both of their situations.
Things can get better. For her, and for him.
He laughs a little, even, when Rei calls the exams annoying. "Yeah. But we've got to do them. I'm not looking forward to summer homework... but maybe we can get together with Kaworu-kun and the others and knock it all out over the next couple afternoons," he offers. "I'd rather get it done right away and not worry about it."
Especially since you never know when an Angel might attack next. Especially since there's one at large right now.
But even if a group homework session doesn't work out, Shinji will make some time to finish it on his own. He'd... like to make his father proud of him again, and pulling his middling grades up might be a good way of doing that.
(It won't be. But hope springs eternal.)
She definitely looks and sounds happier when the topic turns to Gridman. Shinji smiles to see it. "...Yeah. He's a good guy." He pauses, then adds, "I've talked to him a little since--you know. Since we all learned he was Gridman and not 'Yuta.'" He bows his head as a shadow dims his expression. "I think I hurt his feelings. I didn't really know how to react, and it was back when we were all trapped in Tsutsujidai, so I was really stressed out... I think I get that they're the same person, or--that he was always the person I knew, and we were all just confused about who that person was, but--"
He stops; takes a deep breath. "Sorry. I didn't mean to unload all that on you," he apologizes. "Please don't tell him I said all that. I--I want to talk to him," he says, emphatic, as much to convince himself as anyone else.
Besides, this is about Rei and her experiences. He nods as he listens; there is a spike of anxiety there, but it's small and it's brief. Everything she says sounds good, but-- "'Knows it best'?" he echoes. "It sounds like you have a really good time with them, though." He rubs the back of his head with an awkward smile. "I was kind of wondering, what it was--like. With three people, I mean," he adds quickly.
What's it like with Asuka? At one point, that would've been a very tough question. Now... it's not easy, but it is easier. "It was hard at first. But that's Asuka for you," he says, leaning forward to stand upright and follow Rei to the table. "We had a date a while back and it felt like we finally connected." He laughs a little. "It's just like her to make things hard in the beginning. She was a real wildcat at first, huh? Always tearing everybody down. Well, she's still kind of like that. But now, it's like... she's a kind person, deep down, and now I can see that. Or maybe--she lets me see it."
He sounds happy about that--proud, even. Like he's been privileged with a great secret that almost no one else knows.
"But don't tell her I said that. She'd probably get mad," he adds, though he sounds more amused than anything else.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
It is worth it, after all.
Rei's lips purse at the mention of summer homework, even as she lifts the breadfruit and weighs it carefully. Has she ever done hers? Her grades are never remarkable, but look at what she reads.
She looks over at Shinji. He might think Rei wasn't listening, but she nods once, and tells him, to affirm it: "I won't."
She puts the breadfruit down and walks towards the kitchen. "It's hard to say," Rei continues, speaking a little more loudly if without much inflection as she collects something. "I have not known others. I think it is good. I don't know very much about these things," Rei concludes as she comes back.
The something is revealed to be a knife!! It is not very menacing when Rei grasps the breadfruit and begins to cut a portion of it loose; about a fifth, from the back. She seems to not mind that she's just doing this on her tablecloth. She glances at Shinji for a moment, but then looks back to what she's doing. "I don't understand her," Rei says, but it does not sound like a complaint; more of a simple statement of fact. 'I can't fly by flapping my arms,' 'I can't eat megaparticles.'
What Shinji says beyond this, though, makes her head tilt. The slice of breadfruit is removed, and she raises it up, holding it like a bowl in her hand.
"I won't," Rei echoes.
"... when Mari does things as she does," Rei says, which is probably the best way you can describe that overall pattern of behavior on a lot of levels, "does it hurt you?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Rei promises she won't, and Shinji smiles in relief. He didn't think she would--she's not that kind of person--but it's reassuring to have verbal confirmation. Rei doesn't lie--just like Kaworu. They're alike in that way. In a lot of ways, really.
That knife isn't threatening in her hand, either. If it were Asuka, Shinji would be on instant high alert, maybe looking for some chairs to hide behind. As he is now, he only moves to give her some space, and when she starts cutting up the breadfruit, his look of concern is for something else entirely.
To whit: "Um, Ayanami? Do you not have a cutting board?" he wonders. "You're going to make a mess if you just carve that up on the table."
But she's already cut herself a slice, so unless she moves to cut more of it up, Shinji leaves it at that. He only smiles wryly when she says she doesn't understand Asuka. "I think a lot of people don't," he says. "I don't understand her a lot of the time, either. But..." A little color rises in his cheeks. "I understand her better than I used to."
And Rei promises on that mark too, and Shinji trusts her.
The topic abruptly shifts to Mari, though--and Shinji doesn't mind, because he'd meant to bring her up himself. It's just, how do you broach a topic like Mari? With absolute directness, it seems. "I don't... hurt," he says cautiously, as if gingerly prodding around the idea. "She's just... really forward. I don't really know how to deal with her. Asuka's just cranky all the time, but I think Makinami-san likes scaring me." A pause. "But... I don't get a feeling like she wants to hurt me, either. And I'm not. I think she's a good person. I don't even mind when she's around. She's just... a lot."
He pauses again. "...You call her 'Mari,'" he finally points out. "How did you get that close?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei looks towards the table. Wordlessly, she collects the breadfruit, cradling it against her side as she approaches the kitchen, and gets out a plate to set the breadfruit upon, as if it were a partly sliced pineapple. The plastic cutting board is used to quickly shuck and section the amputated slice.
Rei considers, and then goes to wash the knife, looking over her shoulder (the angle is a safe one). "Is that so?" Rei asks him, before rinsing and placing the knife in a drainage rack.
"Yes," Rei says. "Though I do not think that it is her nature."
But there's another question, which makes Rei look over her shoulder again. "... It seemed the right thing to do," Rei says.
"When I was in the Manyoso hotel, she visited me, and we spoke in the bath," Rei continues. "I had never sat in a bath with another before. I suppose that it happened then. I also don't know if I could say her last name very well, and I don't like to mispronounce words."
She could just say Makinami, but perhaps it doesn't feel right to her. After washing her hands, a paper towel is plucked and Rei gathers the pieces of breadfruit with it. Approaching Shinji, she proffers them. Once he has taken or demurred, she takes one herself.
"I feel as though she is trying to teach a lesson."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji almost laughs when he watches Rei silently retrieve a plate and a cutting board. She really just didn't think about it? ...That's just like her.
"Yeah," he says of Asuka. "Like... she always talks really rough, and she acts like she doesn't care, but you can tell when she's paying attention. Like when she praised my curry--she said I was always improving. She wouldn't say that if she hadn't been paying attention all along." Shinji is practically glowing at this point. However scant that praise was, it clearly means a lot to him.
Good work, Shinji.
Even just a few words can mean so much.
The suggestion that Mari's Mariness is not actually Mariness gets a dubious look out of Shinji, though. "You... don't? But she's always really gregarious like that..." But... then again, Rei does live with her. She'd know a lot better what is and isn't in Mari's nature.
His expression clears when she talks about her and Mari bathing at the Manyoso. He remembers how he and Kaworu had shared a bath... and how while it hadn't gone well, it'd helped them have a more open conversation later and repair their friendship. Maybe the Manyoso hadn't been as terrible as it'd seemed at the time, he reflects.
...Maybe there's something to be said about that for his father, too.
"Really? 'Illustrious' does seem hard to say, sure, but you could just say 'Makinami,' couldn't you?" Shinji points out, smiling a little. He accepts a piece of breadfruit, though he has no idea how it will taste--but if he's going to get this for a souvenir for someone he cares about, he can't just turn it down when she offers to share. Before taking a bite, he pauses.
"...When you put it like that, I kind of feel that way too. Even though she's the same age as us, and even though she acts like she's just playing around all the time, she kind of feels like..." Shinji trails off, unsure of how to put it. "Kaworu-kun's the same way, sort of," he decides on. "You wouldn't see it at first since they act so differently on the surface, but both of them feel like--they know more than you figure they would. Like they're more worldly? I'm not sure if 'worldly' is the right word for it when it comes to Kaworu-kun, though. Maybe 'otherworldly.'"
That's not a bad thing, though. His co-pilot feels like he's above the terrible things of the world in a lot of ways. Maybe that's why it upsets Shinji so much when the world tries to drag him down with pain and sadness anyway.
"Actually... I was thinking recently I'd like to get to know Makinami-san better. I think she's a good person, but I don't really know much about her," Shinji continues. "For example, the only reason I know when her birthday is is because it just happened to be right after yours. We're all Evangelion pilots, and..." He offers Rei another small smile. "That's a bond--isn't it?" A beat. And, because he suspects Rei will need it spelled out: "So if there's anything you can tell me about her... I'd really appreciate it?"
He'll try the breadfruit while Rei considers the request.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei tilts her head to the side. Shinji's words force her, perhaps, to think of the Second - of Asuka. Is she always watching? Paying attention? It is hard for Rei to say, but as she turns her memory back -
To Rei they seemed like furtive glares, aggressive, distasteful, full of violent and subtle energy. And yet, what he says...
"Mm," Rei says with a faint nod. Then Mari comes back up. "I think that her heart is true," Rei says. "But I think she plays a role, as well."
At the question of saying Makinami, Rei's eyes turn to the side. Guiltily? Perhaps even petulantly? It's another one of those subtle things, but that is perhaps the miracle that Shinji can take pride in. Those subtle traces are less subtle than they were -- perhaps they exist, now, from his presence. From the bonds of the Eva.
"I think so," Rei says, as she picks up a piece of breadfruit. "I watch them, to learn how it's done. It is in different ways." Then she puts the breadfruit in her mouth and there is an intent look as she tastes it for the first time. Her eyebrows lift with surprise at the rich sweet taste -- the texture different, of course, but the taste not unlike a sweet bread roll.
"Yes," Rei concurs.
Rei then thinks...
"She enjoys reading. I think for its own sake," Rei says. "Her room is filled with books."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Huh," Shinji says of Mari playing a role.
He leaves it at that. It's a lot to chew on. He wonders if Kaworu and Asuka have picked up on that too.
Still, he does smile again when Rei averts her eyes. She's honestly very cute. Maybe once upon a time, he might've developed a crush on her--maybe once upon a time, he did have a crush on her--but his heart doesn't pound around her like it does around Asuka. (Never mind that's the fear.) Or even Kaworu, who's honestly forward in his own way, but in a way that's... totally... platonic? (Shinji doesn't think deeper on this. He doesn't let himself. Even knowing Kaworu is agender, even knowing he's queer, even knowing he's open to polyamory, it feels like forbidden territory.)
Regardless, being around Rei is comfortable--familiar. Like she's family, somehow. Maybe it's because it was just the two of them for a while. He doesn't think he'll ever forget how he felt that night under the moon when they had that quiet conversation, just before Operation Yashima.
"It does feel different for the each of them. Probably because of how different their personalities are," Shinji says aloud. "Though they're a lot alike in some ways too."
He eats the breadfruit. It tastes... like bread. Shinji has to take a moment to boggle over this, because it might have been right there in the name, but he never actually expected it to taste like bread. It gives Rei plenty of time to think, though, and she comes up with...
"Reading?" he echoes, once again surprised. And her room? Full of books? "Really??" He shakes his head quickly. "I mean, I believe you, just... it's so unexpected."
Maybe she is playing a role, it dawns on him. But why would she be?
He won't really know until he asks her, huh. Another mountain he'll have to climb...
"Thanks, Ayanami," he says for now, offering her a smile anew. "That's something you two have in common, huh? I'll have to ask her what she recommends. It'd be nice to catch up on my reading while we're on break."
Hopefully it's not porn...