2023-09-03: A Promise To Order
- Cast: Teletha Testarossa, Sayla Mass
- Where: Merida Island
- Date: U.C. 0097 09 03
- Summary: The deliberation of Heart-2's betrayal has ended. The verdict is at hand, and Diamond-2 has been chosen to deliver it.
<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.
Enjoyment one day, work the next. The transfer between Japan and Merida Island was something she did repeatedly, on end, many many times. The trip never got easier. Today's main meeting...Did also induce a pang of anxiety in her gut.
A few moments to calm her nerves. The meeting time was preordained. So was the date. ...So this was it, how the long arc of Char Aznable's Escape would end. Many hours on those trips dealing with the conflicted emotions inside her, dealing with this and that, writing out the memos, the reports, the ways her own security failed, the recommendations and assurances both to MIthril's Higher Command and to the Shuffle Alliance...It did take a toll, however small she loved to downplay it.
And she was here. A meeting room like any other, no special guards or such for the occasion. Merely two people outside standing guard, yielding to the obvious face and verification of Colonel Testarossa.
The sight of Sayla Mass, someone who she hadn't seen in...What was it? Weeks? A month? Too long, she idly mused in a disparate thought. With those tired eyes maintaining contact, she took her seat.
A deep breath in.
A deep breath out.
"Sayla. Tell me I can trust you again."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
It had been a while since Sayla had set foot on Merida island. It had been a while since she had been allowed to. She was dressed simply- a blouse, black trousers, black shoes, and a light coat that she had been carrying since arriving on Merida.
She goes straight to the meeting room, no diversions. She was here for a purpose. And part of that purpose was taking her well deserved lumps.
As Tessa enters the meeting room, Sayla stands. When it becomes clear that it's just Tessa, Sayla suppresses a frown. Did they really leave this just to her? The youngest CO in the Alliance?
It's easy to tell that Tessa is worn down. All the little signs that add up. She sits when Tessa does.
And then the question comes. Sayla's first instinct is to hedge. To format her answer in such a way that she doesn't try to deliver something she can't.
But that mindset is what caused this whole situation in the first place. That had endangered so many people. Her people.
She has to meet Tessa's standard, or she has no place being back here. "...You can." Sayla says. Her tone is quiet. Contritious. She knows it's not that easy. After what she did, she owes Tessa- the rest of the alliance- a lot more. She has to earn that trust again. And that will be slow.
She meets Tessa's eyes, but not with defiance. Acknowledgement that this is what she deserves.
<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.
There's a beat of silence in the room. The slow breathing of a CO that had to manage most of this. After listening to Sayla's simple answer, those eyes tinged with wariness and far, far too many near-sleepless nights closed.
A deep breath in.
"The Shuffle Alliance had to reencode all their secure channels. Dead drops, ways of locations, code words, the entire book tossed out, burned, and remade from scratch. We're depending on a few antiquated methods that are more time-consuming as we rebuild our entire network, Mithril included."
"Every single person on that ship was interrogated with a polygraph on a bi-weekly basis. Fingerprinting, DNA tests, random checks using code phrases that were swapped out every three hours. Every single item that went in or out was subjected to every single item scan we could think of. Every doctor that was within the same room was to be decontaminated and subjected to a full hour of responding to verbal cues and psychological testing. The location itself changed daily, sailing hundreds of miles on a route drawn in a way to solve the Traveling Salesman Problem by myself. The blood detoxification was similarly supervised and cleansed on an hourly basis after we confirmed 000-cessation."
"I want you to know how much time, effort, and manpower went into this. We're all aware of what Casval Rem Deikun has done." Her hands are clasped in front her. Trembling. Doing her best to restrain herself. "...We're all aware of what you did, Sayla. And why."
She sits there for a moment. Trembling. The subtlest sniff coming from her, refusing to break her gaze from the woman she trusted so.
"If it weren't for so much around him, I would've advocated for killing him right then and there. Understand that."
Another pause. Allowing the statement to hang.
"...Was it the only way you could think of? To save them all?"
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla could argue. The reencoding of security channels would have had to happen without Char. It had to happen the second they found out Leina was compromised.
She doesn't.
She knows the cost involved. The effort. She had to rebuild the network once before herself- with far less resources than Mithril had to hand.
She also knew how much had gone into saving her brother. She had arranged it. It's hard not to notice the way Tessa holds herself back. The tight grip her hands have on each other.
It's Sayla who breaks eye contact when Tessa mentions she would have pushed for Casval's death. "I understand." It's what she'd told herself she would have done, had she not been able to purify Char.
But she hadn't. In the end she had risked the Alliance for her own selfish needs. It was a betrayal- even if not everyone felt that way, she was certain the girl across from her did.
"...At the time, yes." She says, frankly. Tessa knows the situation. Sayla is sure she read the reports. "It doesn't matter what I was thinking. I should have stepped away, yielded the situation to you or one of the others." She doesn't make excuses. There isn't one valid enough. She was afraid, and in her fear, she risked so much. If anyone else had done it, she'd be expecting to be sitting where Tessa is now. But it wasn't anyone else.
"I'm not going to defend my decision." it may have worked out, but that's not what the important part is. "Throughout the whole incident, I willfully took actions that endangered people under my command. I acted in a manner not becoming of a commander- and the consequences reach beyond me." It takes a long pause.
"I'm sorry. For my actions, and for putting you in position. I will accept whatever decision you have made."
<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.
She knows. She knows that, in spite of it all, the channels would have to have been remade anyways. Leina was too compromised to risk otherwise. Still is. Deprogramming isn't months. It's years.
I'm glad you understand. THe thought itself is refused to be voiced, the barest sense of the violence she wanted to inflict on the man that brought so much suffering.
The mental walls are there. Brazen. Slipping. THe hurt of being betrayed. The confusion of standing on her own in this juncture. The anxiety of living up to the weight of what had been trusted upon her. To know that she was the one to be here, to visit Sayla as a member of Mithril and the Shuffle Alliance alike, with no one to guide her.
Teletha listens carefully. Marking each word in her mind. The reports have been read, memorized, understood. Again and again, trying to piece the perspective of the woman in front of her in line with her own understanding and empathy. Would things have been different? How would they have changed?
...It didn't matter. The betrayal. There's a sliver of emotion leaking through the air, poking from the recesses of her psyche.
Sadism. But there is only the thought of it. She hurt us. All of us. She deserves to be hurt in turn.
No. She doesn't.
"..." A breath, setting her hands down. Who knew that delivering judgement had her own heart pounding. "We took hours on the deliberations. Questions of what sort of punishment, what you deserved, what your overall timeline would be...Even the Shuffle Alliance themselves had splits here and there. Every leader in the cards has their own opinion documented on it."
Her gaze refuses to break, even as Sayla breaks her own. "As Diamond-2, representing the Shuffle Alliance on the status of Heart-2, Sayla Mass, the decision we have made is this: We'll start making inlines for eventual full reinstatement for Heart-2's actions. There were a few voices that called out the knowledge of what you did. Releasing an enemy to the world. Releasing a last hope to save everyone, on a singular whim."
"...Considering how our own trades are, there was an assumption by Mithril that something of this caliber would happen. We're all fighting for our beliefs, and some of us, more than others, know about fighting with all your heart against what you believe is either the right place at the wrong time, or the wrong place at the right time." There's a subtle shift in her voice, a slow relaxation on the shoulders.
"Everyone had their own answer of what they'd do in this situation. Of releasing their brother into the world and risking it to save an untenable situation. I will not say my answer, before you ask." A single finger raised upwards from the gripped duo.
"But. We all know that if it came down to it, we want to walk away from it knowing we did everything we could, even if everyone spat on our faces afterwards."
For those we can save, we can plunge ourselves through hell.
"...That's the long and short of it. Welcome back, Heart-2. You'll find your reach heavily limited, but you've done it once before, haven't you?" Her lips slowly curve upwards. A complicated smile. One she wants to put trust in another, even after being greviously wounded.
"I...can't say I trust you completely. I don't know if I ever will again, honestly." Tap. Tap. Tap. Finger on knuckle. "But I want to. It does hurt."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
It still sat ill with her, that it had fallen to Tessa. It should be Domon, or Argo here. But that anger is for them.
Her gaze turns back to Tessa's face, as she speaks on the deliberation- but a momentary surprise crosses Sayla's face as Tessa makes clear that reinstatement is the plan.
She remains silent as Tessa outlines everything. The reasoning behind it .
Still... those little words of welcome back seem to land hard, as Sayla closes her eyes and nods, slowly. "...Thank you." That smile, complicated as it is... Is still a smile.
She opens her eyes again. It's to be expected, after what she did. "...I appreciate that, Diamond-2." Opening one's heart after being hurt like that... it's not easy. She knows.
God how she knows.
Trust isn't something you can just earn back. It's not transactional. "I'll... make sure this is the right decision." No hedging. No hiding behind weasel words.
"I hope that one day you can." She says, knowing the weight behind it. "I'll strive to be someone who warrants this. I promise."
<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.
It's a complicated feeling. There's the dark urge inside to hurt. To maim. To want to push that reasoning to its limits, to break her down and to have her wail.
...It's scary, the thoughts that bubble up when in a corner.
"I...really hope this is the right decision. Some of them are still wary, obviously. White Base is a ship known to everyone, and you're one of the chief people in front all these years later..."
A sigh.
"I want to hope on that promise. But not after this. Do it." She's smiling as she states that simple command. "I'll keep the promise and remember it. But this is an order: Do it."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
The things one can pick up on when one is a newtype are often unpredictable. But particular spikes of emotion- especially from someone with their own connection to that realm as strong as Tessa's is.
She'd always known Tessa as a diligent commander, if thrown in the deep end. It's not surprising she'd have something like that bubbling under the surface.
It's a concern, but not one that Sayla has any place acting on. Not now. Not unless she's ever trusted again. She can't just simply try to step in like she might have before.
Tessa has her doubts. Of course she does. It's not like Sayla can blame her. It's an earned wariness.
But when Tessa makes it an order, Sayla nods in acknowledgement. "Yes ma'am. I will." She says it straight, no sarcasm or irony. Just a simple acceptance. She doesn't salute, or anything. She's not Mithril.
Still... hopefully, one day she'll be able to see a smile that doesn't have all those urges sitting behind it.