2023-01-22: Next Steps
- Log: 2023-01-22- Next Steps
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Sayla Mass, Hinoki Sai (NPCed with permission and encouragement from Guy Shishioh's player)
- Where: GGG Orbit Base
- OOC - IC Date: 0097-01-22
- Summary: There are a lot of difficult conversations in Akane's next few days; one with Sayla Mass highlights both Akane's next steps and the next steps other people in her life might take.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane has had a lot of time to spend alone with Rikka -- but they can't just spend the whole day wrapped up in each other. There's a lot of steps that need to be taken before both of them figure out what a moment outside this one looks like. Some of those steps are boring, some of them involve pretty frank chats with the rest of 3G, and... well. Some of them might get overheard!
Indistinct sounds come from the room in the medical ward that is, for the moment, Akane's new home. As Sayla approaches, they start to get a little more distinct, coalescing into... a conversation?
"... showed up a few times. Alexis kind of tried to spin me around to fight him, but I always thought that was kind of weird... it kinda made me question the Vessel of Light... thing, for him to be in the same box like that? Honestly, though, he..." A little giggle. "He was over my head in a lot of ways, but I was never afraid of him or anything. I didn't really get the same... gut feeling like I had to fight him, either? He was pretty nice, in a... weird kind of way."
"That -- tells me a lot about you, Shinjo. If he placed his trust in you, even for a moment... I think I'll do my best, too!" A clearing of the throat. "Oh, the bloodwork we started when you got in last night is done... it's mostly expected, but you should probably restart the meds you were on before all this. I'll talk to Dr. Mass, and if she agrees, we might give you a few referrals, too."
"Mmngh... that's not great. I hate... the idea of being on even more stuff."
"Yeah, I can imagine! You get to choose where this goes from here. We're not going to put you on anything you don't want. Just... know that we're here for you if that's the kind of help you need." At the sound of approaching footsteps, though... "... looks like you're pretty popular. I'll get out of your hair."
"I guess I can keep that in mind." There's a bit of an awkward hitch in her voice, and then: "Uh -- thanks."
Hinoki Sai makes her exit from the room with a last "You're welcome," and notes for the person she's apparently tagging out to, "We should talk when you're done here," before exiting. Anything they might want to discuss is better saved for later, right now.
Which brings us, then, to now. Akane Shinjo sits -- in her familiar guise, again, not the face that is for now for Rikka alone -- in her bed, with its rumpled sheets, with the pillow on her lap; she has a tablet now, at least, but it's not hers, so using it is a little annoying.
She takes a few seconds to shove her lilac hair out of her face, to get situated again after Hinoki's departure. She looks tired, genuinely exhausted -- but not unhappy at all.
Her lip gloss is smudged. (So far, no one who's been in her room since that happened has pointed it out.)
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla had made clear that it would be at least twenty four hours before she came up to Orbit Base.. There was work to be done, matters to be handled, reports to be read- and Sayla had touched none of them except for requesting clearance for a plus one via a text to Guy. Once that time off was taken, Orbit Base Today, she's walking in dress for work- white business shirt, black slacks, black leather flats and a suitcase on wheels behind her.
She can hear the conversation happening, and she's in no rush to interrupt. She listens, of course- but the change in Akane's voice is audible from here, and Sayla can't help but smile.She waits patiently outside for Hinoki to step out. "Of course. I read through what you uploaded on the flight- we'll touch base then."
Sayla steps in, calm and relaxed and that smile still on her face. "Hi Akane." She walks toward the bed, taking a seat presumably recently abandoned by Hinoki. "How are you holding up?" It's a question Akane's likely gotten a lot today- but hopefully she's not sick of answering- even if some of it's obvious.
Very obvious to Sayla, who smirks and picks up a tissue to offer to Akane, before tapping her own lips roughly where the smudge is. She gives Akane a few moments before finally saying, unprompted, "I'm very happy for the both of you."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Well... she can start with the basics. Akane straightens up a little again, and answers, "Today was pretty good, but I'm still a little nervous. It kinda still feels like things could fall apart any minute, sometimes." She looks off to the side a little bit, and admits, "... but only sometimes, now."
Then Sayla grabs a tissue, brings it over, and -- Akane pauses, a little confused. It takes her a second to figure out what she's being told, and then --
-- turns an absolutely fiery shade of red with an, "Oh my God," bringing the tissue to her lips and electing to simply wipe them off. Eventually she'll ask for more lip gloss, but right now she just has to say, "Ahahaha... thanks. I -- was actually kinda scared, the whole time, but... it was really good."
A pause, before she clarifies, "We only just kissed. ... Right now, I'm letting her take point on how fast we take stuff..."
Letting out a breath, she asks, "So -- was there something specific you wanted to talk about?" She still fears being chastized, a bit, but... maybe she needs to trust that people are actually bringing up their priorities with her and go from there.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"That makes sense," Sayla says, with a nod. "The fact that it's only sometimes already is a very good sign, I think." Her voice remains gentle and calm, but there's definitely a happiness Sayla rarely has in there. After all of that, they'd managed to get her out...
Sayla nods calmly. "Do you want me to keep it a secret for now? I wouldn't want to take away getting to tell everyone away from you two." Given the comment about Akane letting Rikka set the speed, she suspects keeping quiet is the plan- even if Leina may be demanding updates soon.
Sayla nods, back on track. "There's a few things, honestly. There's a lot to work out going forward, but we don't have to rush. Don't feel like you have to make any snap decisions." She's trying to keep the pressure low, but... it's difficult to do.
"Before all that, though... I thought you might want some things to make your stay more comfortable." She reaches down to unzip the suitcase, and pull two somethings out of it. The first is a plush toy, well worn and old, but recently washed. The second is a plastic box, with a lid, featuring things from a secret hideaway. She places them on the bed, in reach.
Sayla closes the suitcase again. "I don't think anyone will have an issue with you decorating your space how you want- even if it's a temporary one."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"... Yeah," Akane confirms. "I kinda wanna run down the halls screaming it! But the 'I' there is a big part of the fun." She rubs at the back of her head a little, conceding, "Wow, I sound ridiculous... ahaha..."
Sayla unzips the suitcase and reveals a few nice things. Akane's briefly startled -- but then she remembers that this isn't even Sayla's first time heading to that sad little apartment. It's still a surprise -- but not a bad one. "Wow, you really wanna make sure I don't go splat when I land," she says, and while there's some sass in it... it's not hostile or cold, either.
She draws... the plushie up, first. Her Taraba stuff isn't bad to see, but it's a little more complicated.
It takes her a little while to decide where she wants to go, here. It's definitely hard not to feel like this is the first 'good' part of a shit sandwich -- but maybe she needs to get over that. "Orbit Base isn't bad. I could definitely see myself staying here a bit," she admits. "I... probably shouldn't go back to Tsutsujidai right away. It's probably not... that safe for anyone for me to do that." Including herself.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla takes a thoughtful pause. "Perhaps," she leans back in her chair, "but having been a girl in love at that age, I think you get to sound ridiculous and nobody gets to say or think a damn thing." Sayla, at least, can laugh at the sass too. "I think I need a little more than a plush toy for that."
Maybe she should have brought more of those with her. Still, she's not gonna push. That 'a bit' doesn't escape Sayla's notice. Sayla's silent for a little bit longer. Akane's train of thought is right.
"...In that case," Sayla taps her thigh, considering what she's raising. "Did you want to talk about 'something'?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane takes some time to think about what she's going to say. 'Something.' What she wanted from Sayla, when she'd...
... reached out without really reaching out.
Air whooshes in through the loose 'o' of her mouth, then right back out, as she tries to find the words. "... I guess," she finally answers, "what I was hoping for was just... an adult who gets it and doesn't want to hurt me. And couldn't." ... It sounds kind of screwed up, when she says it like that. "I didn't really get that I'd have that if I just asked. Then I felt like there was no way I could fix it."
Rubbing at her face, then the back of her neck, she gropes around for the words... and this time, she manages to find them. "... there's a lot of stuff I want to do. I want to finish school, I want to go on dates... I want to have friends. But I don't think I can just ask my parents for help with that. I'm pretty sure keeping keeping that apartment paid up 'til I graduate is kind of a deadline, and if that's how it's gonna be I'm not even gonna ask."
Letting out a slow, difficult breath, she admits, "Sounds like I'm asking for a little more than 'doesn't want to hurt me,'" with a strained smile.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla takes a long time as Akane's words sink in, but the expression on her face is a heavy one. That's all she wanted. Something she should have had by default. There's a spike of anger that she looks down at her hands, thinking of what Akane wasn't given. When she finally speaks again, she sounds sad.
"Maybe. But you're definitely not asking for too much."
When Sayla looks up she's trying to give a smile, if a sad one. She'd looked into the holders of that lease, months ago. But she sure as hell didn't hear from them. It would be better if they kept that distance.
"I stand by what I said that night. All you have to do is ask."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
All she has to do is ask, huh. That's... heavy. Akane looks down the bed at a bit, rather than Sayla -- in part because the anger is just obvious enough that she has to react. She can be fairly sure it isn't at her, from what Sayla is saying, from the smile on her face... still, it's hard to deal with.
... okay. She can try that.
"... Sayla. I don't know where I'm going after Orbit Base," Akane says, letting herself do a little bit of a run-up. Then, a little more firmly:
"... when I do, can you help me get there?"
Her legs slide up the bed just a bit -- but even if she could, she doesn't want to run away.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"Of course."
There's not a moments hesitation, and Sayla's voice is firm and warm. "As far or as close as it ends up being." The words seem like so little to say, but Sayla Mass is a woman who makes few promises... so she can keep those she does.
Sayla carefully moves a hand close to Akane's shoulder, without touch. "May I?" The intent is a simple shoulder squeeze, but the hand will move away if she doesn't want it, with no shame.
"I'm proud of you for asking, Akane."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane's first reflex is to pull away from that offered hand -- and indeed she does, with a small flinch... but then she takes a breath, and she agrees: "Yeah. It's okay." She's still not great with -- touch. There are some things that still scare her a lot. But... Sayla's not really... a stranger, at this point. And indeed -- maybe there's some things they need to talk about there, too.
Once she's gotten squeezed on the shoulder, she speaks up again. "That's definitely, uh... ahaha, I..." ... is she really going to resurrect this one? ... yeah, she is. "Sorry about... the thing at the restaurant. That was kind of messed up. ... being touched, kinda, brought it to mind again..."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla doesn't overstay her invitation- it's obvious it's difficult and she doesn't want to make it uncomfortable. "Too much?" She feels the need to check in, make sure Akane's okay... only for the reason to come up.
"...Ah." That meeting in the restaurant. It said a lot about Akane at the time, when put in context. "Apology accepted. Hinoki and Ai will have to work with you on a plan to reacclimate you to touch, but I think slow and steady's best there."
She taps three times on her thigh, then speaks. "Did you want to try and talk about it?" As she speaks though, she remembers something. Or rather, why it's relevant. "I overheard Hinoki say that we should probably get you back on your regular medications, and I had some webster packs prepared based on your bloodwork, I just want to check with you that you recognize everything. You can just check them when you're ready."
Sayla slides the prepackaged medication onto the bedside table, face down in the bag. "No rush."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"It's fine," Akane says, though it's a little bit at strain -- but they do get into the real issues about it before long. "... I don't really want to talk about it, but I feel like I kinda need to... but geez, I'm not sure what to even say. Let me think while I look at this stuff."
Akane looks at the pills for a little while. "These are new," she starts, squinting -- and then a little bit later, "Oh, no, nevermind, this is my dose, just as two pills instead of one. I forgot the low-dose ones are round and not long." It's... easy, to talk functional stuff -- and it frees up a little bit of her brain.
"I guess, back then, I just... I was so scared of what we were talking about that I needed -- to get you thinking about something else. Alexis said... it was normal for relationships between creators and their creations to be violent --"
Something clicks. Akane's shoulders push back, and her knees slide up the bed a little. "... this isn't really over, I let myself think it was for just a minute but --" She's not quite falling into a panic attack -- but the fear in her face is obvious, and real, and oh-so-human.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla just gives her a nod, letting Akane sort her thoughts out. "Okay. We can talk about adjusting these as you need, too, this is just working out where we're starting from." She has some ideas for more efficient methods down the track.
Sayla feels the shift as it happens. The deep fear. "Akane." Sayla's voice is soft and calm again, gentle and controlled. What can she do? Lie to her? Tell her it will be alright.
"You're right. It isn't over- but this part is." She looks for that plush again, or failing that the pillow. Something for Akane to grip on to. "We both know he's still out there, but you can and should let yourself have this. Please." She tries to work out how to put it.
Alexis can be anywhere, could attack at any time. Which means... "No one's alone. 3G are watching for any sign of him. No one is going to be alone. My people will help Gridman, Utsumi and Rikka look after Tsutsujidai... and there are so many people who want to support you through this." She's fumbling a little, despite the confidence in her words. She tries to find what's right.
"I know it's not over, but you can still celebrate your win. And that means doing all the things you asked me to help with. And I'm still going to help you get to where you want to go next, whether it's over or not. Okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane's always struggled to lie to herself, except in ways that hurt her; that Sayla doesn't simply skip to telling her it will be all right wins some points. She scoots toward Sayla, one hand groping for the plush again. It feels a little pathetic to be relying on a toy, like this, but...
... no one's alone. Not 3G, not Sayla, not Rikka or Utsumi or Gridman... there's some comfort in that, too. It'd be difficult for Akane to explain why -- but it's obvious once she thinks about it. When she was patterning her movements most off Alexis, her opposition was most vulnerable to her approaches when she isolated them. So too now, then.
It's not over, but a victory is still worth celebrating -- and escaping is a victory. Akane thinks about that for a little while, too.
"Okay," Akane answers Sayla, a little bit at strain. "... I can let myself have this." She says it to answer Sayla -- but more than that, maybe, for herself. "Thanks for bringing my pills and checking out my bloodwork. I'm... kinda dreading taking all this junk and then some again. But it's probably better than the alternative."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Once Akane takes the plush, Sayla moves her chair closer to the edge of the bed. This bit she's never forgotten how to do. She rests a hand on the edge of the bed, in reach, the chair turned to face Akane. "That's okay. Like Hinoki said- we go forward how you want to, at your speed." She shifts herself to get comfortable- she's made time to be here.
"And if you need to stand still for a bit, that's fine too."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
It takes a few seconds for Akane to do much of anything. The idea of needing a whole program just to get used to touch again, earlier, had wounded her pride a little more than she cared to admit -- and while wounded pride isn't a great foundation...
... the momentum might help. She reaches out for that hand, gently resting hers on it -- then jerking away a bit... then resting it there again, finally.. "Yeah. I think after the last couple months, I gotta move pretty slow." ... but she doesn't want to stand still again. Being someone who can heal to stand alongside Rikka, rather than cling to her, is going to require a lot of reaching out.