2022-07-10: Crisis! Revenge of Tanabata's Stray Cow!
- Cast: Kaiju Navi, Lina Lombardi, Yuliana Kafim, Eisen Daiwel, Roux Louka
- Where: Nouvelle Tokyo
- Date: U.C. 0096 07 10
- Summary: In the wake of Tanabata festivities, tragedy strikes! The machinations of Treasure Robotics seek to ruin the holiday by deploying a monstrous mechanical cow!
<Pose Tracker> Kaiju Navi has posed.
On the eve of Tanabata, mysterious circumstance after mysterious circumstance piled up just out of view of the festival-gathering public. Clouds of red-eyed drones hovering in the suburbs. Unmarked vans suddenly blocking off side roads. A strange spider-shaped machine sprinting through the streets and climbing up apartments - and a white-clad princess yelling and sprinting after it for hours on end.
All in setup for Treasure Robotics' latest plan to cause mayhem...
In the story of Tanabata, the cause for the separation of Hikoboshi and Orihime was the two neglecting their duties once they met - Orihime ceased making her fabrics, and Hikoboshi let the cows of the heavens wander off. So it's only fitting the sight that ensues - underneath the moonlight, the twin stars the story alludes to twinkling bright.
Five miles off the southern coast of Nouvelle Tokyo, a gradual roiling in the seas turns into a crashing of waves and surging of water - sliding off an enormous round metallic surface. It may seem like a submarine at first...but it just keeps growing, and growing, and growing...!
Until revealing its full form - a colossal mechanical bovine, entirely black save for the gold glint of its horns and the red glow of its eyes. It stomps slowly towards an offshore wind farm, the turbines pitiful and puny beneath the sheer enormity...and begins...to graze on the stalks, as though they were but tall weeds. Chewing and chomping on them, with sparks of electricity at each one.
In the dead of night, it calls out a long, low-pitched roar...
"USHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII."
KTS: Kaiju Navi has deployed in Gimmick Type Kaiju. KTS: Lightly Loaded Bonus=58 KTS: Weapon: Innate Kaiju Protective Barrier KTS: Innate Kaiju Protective Barrier Wave: 3000 Force,Melee,MAP,Repulse KTS: Jam: 0 Ranged,Passive,Debuff,Jam L1 KTS: Scatter: 0 Ranged,Passive,Buff,Scatter L1,MAP KTS: Nullify: 0 Ranged,Passive,Special,Debuff KTS: Prevent: 0 Ranged,Passive,Special,Debuff KTS: Pass: 0 Ranged,Passive,All-Range KTS: Weapon: AUROCH Herd Drones KTS: Weapon: Horn Thunder KTS: Weapon: Innate Kaiju Protective Barrier KTS: Weapon: Ruminant Fiber KTS: Weapon: Thunder of the Ox King - KTS: Kaiju Navi has changed loadout. KTS: Roux Louka has deployed in MPMZ-17 Ichinana. KTS: Roux Louka has changed loadout. KTS: Kaiju_Navi has deployed as a Boss for 4 opponents. KTS: Yuliana Dispersal has deployed in Tiandong 3 Annihilation Custom. KTS: Yuliana Dispersal has changed loadout. KTS: Lina Lombardi has deployed in eEXM-17FT Alto Flight Type. KTS: Eisen Daiwel has deployed in Evangelion Unit-Zahllos - Carestia. KTS: Eisen Daiwel has activated the Spirit Spirit Command.
<Pose Tracker> Lina Lombardi has posed.
Through the night sky, a light streaks by before stopping in one place. It's the Alto of one G-Hound contractor, hovering above the giant cow, rifle already raised.
"Alright, Jazz. This one should be pretty simple. It's just a cow."
"Loud and clear, Mousetrap. Let's make ourselves look good for the job interview, huh?"
"Ugh, just shut up about that already. Can't believe you roped me into Sokolov's offer."
"You know we're nothing without each other, babe."
"Cut the chatter and get to it!"
Lina chuckles and raises her assault rifle to ready, delivering several shots of fire to the bovine menace.
KTS: Lina Lombardi targets Kaiju Navi with ExAMACS Assault Rifle Barrage! <Pose Tracker> Eisen Daiwel has posed.
There is not exactly a code for 'giant enemy cow' when it comes to defending the region of Tokyo. As such, the general call for a Kaiju attack has come instead. Eisen, who has been on standby for far too long, is being deployed by NERV.
Twin bullet-train - riding in parallel - come to a squeeling halt at the edge of Nouvelle Tokyo, before coming arriving an industrial park. Large latches engage, securing the train, before a large tarp is being pulled off of an Evangelion. A special loading bed pulling it to the side, and then lifting it up while the Pilot is readying himself.
"The synchronization levels haven't dropped for even a bit." The young man mumbles to himself, looking as the numbers climb rapidly, and settle right at the levels he's always been familiar with. Never below this number, which has always given him this sense of certainty about his cause, about his very being.
<"Unit Zahlos, engaging turbines!"> The youth remarks, as he grabs hold of the controls and immediately pushes them forward at full throttle. Eisen does nothing half-way. The turbines upon the Evangelion's back engage, as its wings slowly begin to move. The phalanges of its wings spreading, as gossemer glowing light engages between them, and the enormous heavy thing begins to lift off from standing still...
Cables are rapidly being attached, giving the Evangelion the battle power it's going to need, right before it manages to take off. Like a pitstop at a Formula-1 race. Perfectly timed.
In the distance, the roar of...
Well, it's a cow. It's not much of a roar. But damned if Eisen is not going to engage with this with everything he's got!
The uniquely styled Evangelion draws to the air, clipping its toes over a few buildings at first, before eventually getting to some semblance of flight speed and approaching the Cow at top speed, arms forward. And even as lightning sparks, the Carestia comes down, arms out, trying to GRAB IT BY THE HORNS.
<"BOVINE STEERING TECHNIQUE!"> Eisen demands as the Evangelion Carestia lands and tries to take hold. The right foot shifting back as if it's about to kick it. One of the wings rapidly delivering a blade into the bottom of the foot of the landing Evangelion.
<"VIOLENT BLOOD SPOOOORT!"> And tries to drive the lance into its metalic shell by means of that foot while holding it!
KTS: Eisen Daiwel: Will Barrier Activates. KTS: Eisen Daiwel targets Kaiju Navi with Annihilator's Roar! <Pose Tracker> Roux Louka has posed.
ROUX LOUKA,
HEROINE OF SPACE,
GLAMOROUS FASHION IDOL,
Doesn't know what a tanabata is. She came down to the Orb Union-area space elevator to return something to the Photon Power Labs with her comments and a possible request for transfer of material. There were star decorations? But Roux Louka, AEUG Partisan Soldier, is just like, of course there are stars! Stars rule. I see stars every day.
On the train going towards Mt. Fuji, Roux Louka was relaxing in the military car, where she is out of uniform because she's a contractor but where she can enjoy a relaxing juice drink. She flips past the stuff about Orihime and Hikoboshi and Subaru Trailblazer and whatever to get at the news about what this season's Prada is going to look like.
Everything erupts into activity as the train skids to a halt. Someone with a jarlike haircut starts barking orders. Infantrymen scramble! Artillerymen drop their socks! Naval personnel begin painting the walls! Roux looks out the window.
"Is that--"
"Miss Louka! You're the pilot of that thing with the smelly cockpit, right?!"
Roux turns her head. She opens her mouth --
SMASH CUT
"-- a cow?!"
The bay doors open and from within emerges...
... AN ICHINANA.
Roux doesn't even hesitate, immediately firing on the cow with the beam rifle she'd packed in for Koji and co. to examine. "That's a ****ing cow!! What the hell!?" Roux shouts, even as the Ichinana gingerly steps out of the train car and THEN vaults into the sky, firing several more times as it leaps to get nearer.
"There's some kind of winged kaiju thing engaging the cow!" Roux reports.
She tilts her head. "Hanh?"
A moment later, "Oh."
"That's a lot better than I thought it would be," Roux muses as she jogs through a trainbed-side fallowed paddy field.
KTS: Roux Louka targets Kaiju Navi with Roux Seven Beam Rifle Shot! <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Yuliana Dispersal was to be deployed in an area not quite here -- a little more out in the boonies. But reports from her intelligence agent, Parminder, have led her to offer some operational assistance to Nouvelle Tokyo, since she's in the area.
It's the drones, you see. They're bad news.
And so, the green wanzer tromping onto site transmits: "In the name of the Federation, stand down!" And then, a little more muttered into the radio, but much more audible than Yuliana expects: "Okay, look, does anyone expect that to work? It's a cow. ANYWAY," the sound of a throat clearing, "Minovsky's Woman, on site. Now engaging the bovine."
The wanzer proceeds to tromp into that wind farm, and -- well, water isn't its favourite arena, which might explain why the Tiandong throws its Cleave Axe onto it, and proceeds to yank itself by the attached chain to grapple onto the kaiju.
It's a remarkably similar idea to the Evangelion, really, except a Tiandong 3 is much smaller.
"Hey, visitya!" Yuliana's voice comes over the radio, when she hears Roux's voice from the Ichinana. "Or am I the visitor today?! Heh, either way... get out here!" She calls, in a cheerful invite.
KTS: Yuliana Dispersal targets Kaiju Navi with MULS-P Hookshot Hook! KTS: Kaiju Navi blocks Lina Lombardi's ExAMACS Assault Rifle Barrage, taking 3240 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 39660 KTS: Eisen Daiwel anchors Kaiju Navi, forcing it into close range. KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to react to Eisen Daiwel's Annihilator's Roar, taking 3360 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 36300 KTS: Eisen Daiwel has engaged Kaiju Navi! KTS: Eisen Daiwel: Will Barrier Activates. KTS: Eisen Daiwel begins a Formation attack! KTS: Kaiju Navi blocks Roux Louka's Roux Seven Beam Rifle Shot, taking 2400 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 33900 KTS: Yuliana Dispersal anchors Kaiju Navi, forcing it into close range. KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to react to Yuliana Dispersal's MULS-P Hookshot Hook, taking 3510 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 30390 KTS: Yuliana Dispersal has engaged Kaiju Navi! <Pose Tracker> Kaiju Navi has posed.
As one would expect with an enormous 40 story tall cow machine - it isn't, exactly, very...quick to react to stimuli. At the first couple of salvos the Alto and Ichinana slug out at the behemoth bovine, it just kind of...keeps eating - though there's a curious shiny white splotchy field that shimmers from the cow's surface - transitioning the sheer black into a rapid-fire series of white-with-black-spots barrier. It's some sort of energy field that makes up for 'having a lot of holes' by 'changing where those holes are a lot'. It also makes it look more like a more traditional cow. Gods only know which one was higher priority on the designer of this thing.
It leers at both Lina and Roux with a baleful, yet murderous glare, and howls out a loud, long "MOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU." of such fierce and loud intensity that it actively threatens to overload numerous sensors on both machines...
The much more urgent foe prompting the cow to not just keep EATING is Eisen's Evangelion - the largest and most imminently ferocious machine on the field. The glowing red eyes shift to try and focus in on the giant black and green machine driving a blade right into its head - which then starts shaking and quaking to try and drive Eisen off, but to little avail. The material on the cow's cranium is incredibly durable, but the lance does drive a spreading spiderweb crack into the outer layer, prompting a pained gust of wind from the cow's nostrils.
In response to the horns being grabbed, though...those golden spires start to crackle with lightning and energy, prompting yet another loud call of "USHIIIIIIIIIIII.", and then a subsequent, more distorted howl of "THUUUUUNDEEEEEEER., activating the potent electrical surges arcing right into the Evangelion.
The smaller wanzer prompts a more instinctual reaction as one would to a fly - colossal mechanical tail-whip swaying to try and swat the rising Yuliana away, with little success. One enormous leg lifts up high - how the thing can stand on just three is an engineering marvel on its own - and tries to forcibly kick and stomp away the buzzing Wanzer in mid-ascent!
I don't understand that.
KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Lina Lombardi with Jam! KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Roux Louka with Jam! KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Eisen Daiwel with Horn Thunder Barrage! KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Yuliana Dispersal with Thunder of the Ox King - Squish! KTS: Eisen Daiwel's Will Barrier activates, negating 500 base damage. KTS: Eisen Daiwel blocks Kaiju Navi's Horn Thunder Barrage, taking 1700 damage! KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 98. KTS: Kaiju Navi jams Lina Lombardi's sensors, reducing her accuracy. KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 134. KTS: Yuliana Dispersal successfully avoids Kaiju Navi's Thunder of the Ox King - Squish KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 170. KTS: Kaiju Navi jams Roux Louka's sensors, reducing her accuracy. KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 206. KTS: Lina Lombardi has activated the Attune Spirit Command. <Pose Tracker> Lina Lombardi has posed.
"Ah, crap! That was a loud moo!"
"Your sensors are down! Gotta aim by sight for now."
"Forget that! If I just shoot everywhere, I don't need to aim! Hey, everyone! Watch out!" She fires off another barrage of shots, firing in a spread in the direction of the kaiju, blind shots firing out.
KTS: Lina Lombardi targets Kaiju Navi with ExAMACS Assault Rifle Barrage! KTS: Eisen Daiwel has activated the Spirit Spirit Command. <Pose Tracker> Eisen Daiwel has posed.
If Eisen knew that Roux had mistaken his Evangelion for a Kaiju, he probably would have been grinning like an absolute fool within the cockpit of the Carestia.
Well, he is grinning like an absolute fool in the Carestia, but that's for a completely different reason. He's been itching for so long to get another go. And there's this sense of comfort and belonging as he pilots the machine. Even if it is a 'mecha kaiju cow', he's going to bloody take it at this point!
As Yuliana Dispersal's wanzer gets its axe-and-chain into the cow, the Evangelion adjusts its posture to ensure that there's an optimal amount of force being applied. Aiding in the tear-down of this thing.
This gaves Eisen a momentary better look at the battlefield. Spotting Lina Lombardi's unit, he muses to himself; "They still make those?" It certainly does look like the's the only one that was available within NERV's arsenal for this particular deployment though!
<"Try not to get underfoot!"> Eisen ends up calling to the others on the battlefield as he adjusts the footing of Carestia once more. Gritting his teeth when he sees that lightning begin to crackle. THUNDER!?
The youth bites down and stabs the tail of the Carestia into the ground to additionally ground the unit as the violent storm of energy bursts down. He's not yet let go of those horns, and when it comes down, it ends up spasming the Carestia's hands. Bubbles burn around his hands within the LCL as Eisen's right eye glows for a moment as the youth is stressed.
Pain.
Pain allows him to dive deeper.
His teeth chatter a bit as the pain runs through his body, until finally he's forced to let go, the electrical charge breaking the carestia off of the cow. The A.T. field activating for the last splash of lightning that careens over its body, as it digs one claw to the ground to halt itself from being pushed back. The first spear remains within the cow's body.
<"Excellent! This one still has fight in him! Sorry, Toto -- these are no Banderillero!"> The wings of the Carestia spread, and with two hands crossed, he grabs hold of the spears that lay within its arsenal, pulling them out. Spinning them and then taking an offensive posture again.
<"And I am no Novillos!"> The wings of the Carestia move rapidly, trying to draw its attention with as much movement as possible!
<"CORRIDA TECHNIQUE THE SECOND!"> The Carestia bursts forwards with sickening speed, its feet pushing off. The ground where it stood being turned into a mess. Dirt and debris flying behind it as it lunches forward, one hand forward, trying to touch its head, so it can spin over its back and come down from above. Using the Jet Turbine on its back to push it back down to the ground at the crest of the assisted jump, and bringing the two spears down towards its neck.
<"TORERO'S ANNIHILATING ASSAULT!"> And tries to hew them in as hard as he can and... well... HOLD ON by trying to get the legs of the Evangelion around its flanks and 'ride' the cow!
KTS: Eisen Daiwel targets Kaiju Navi with Sonic Glaive Cut! <Pose Tracker> Roux Louka has posed.
"Oh HI," Roux answers Yuliana. "Let's hope this one isn't as bad luck as the last one, huh? I mean, we're already having good luck, right? The winged - hold on - THAT'S an Evangelion?!" Beat, beat. "Okay."
"How did you get that title, anyway?"
Roux is getting near enough that, while she's not bringing out the Ichinana Sword, she can at least think about it when her
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
neuvers are caught short; in the face of a massive sonic wave that she can feel rattling her teeth and her bones and joints as much as the Ichinana's, Roux Louka struggles to
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ve the controls to get out of the direct pattern of the wave form before the induced micro
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
tion -- ah, it's passing -- something else is engaging it -- the Evangelion!? Something else!? Roux sets her beam rifle down on the roof of a nearby three story building, taking cover behind it before, suddenly, pausing.
"Uh, Roux Louka, with Londo Bell! Is this kind of the -- Yeah, the outer office district? Okay, uh, evacuate ever-- oh, this sort of thing's familiar here?" Roux leans inwards. "-- That's TRUE, if I hit the ground there's a lot more between it and space than I'm used to."
"Spanish Evangelion! I'll cover you!" Roux declaims, before just dumping four anti-MS grenades and an entire E-cap downrange at the enormous bovine terror.
"I feel like we should move it out of the city before we blow it up," Roux says, mostly to Yuliana. "That's the vibration I'm feeling here. What do you think."
KTS: Roux Louka targets Kaiju Navi with Roux Seven Beam Rifle Strafe! KTS: Roux Louka has activated the Spirit Spirit Command.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Swat! The whip-tail tries to catch the Tiandong 3, but Yuliana rolls her movement to her right side to twist away. The leg comes down, and --
"Working on it!" Yuliana transmits, to Eisen, on the topic of not being caught underfoot. She disengages her axe from the cowju, in fact, plunging free-fall with that hoof following her. This might seem like the absolute worst decision to make -- except that she pushes her gearbox forward to whip her wanzer's arms up, and the axe catches on its knee. All a sudden the tension in her chain is much CLOSER -- much more controllable; she wrenches herself around to swoop past the hoof, as it crashes down, and pulls herself up to latch onto the kaiju. The energy field is a concern -- but Yuliana has particular armor on her machine to deal with force damage.
"Argh! Watch where you're -- switch to manual targeting, you idiot!!" The Tiandong 3 transmits, with anger, as the wanzer springs off of the bovine's leg to grapple onto its flank, instead. Luckily, it's fast enough that Yuliana can avoid getting shot full of holes by Lina's Alto. "Tell me you have aux cameras in that thing, so switch over and lay in the calculations yourself!"
Yuliana pushes her clutch in with her own manual controls, as she leaps, again, to try and get closer to the bovine's head. "Oh, it comes from a few things," she answers Roux, calmer, now. "For one -- I'm a obsfucating opponent. For another --" The cannon at her wanzer's shoulder orients, and blasts Minovsky particles directly into the cow kaiju's baleful eyes. "-- tricks like that!" She exclaims, as she kicks off of the kaiju, to sail down, down, down.
Her agreement to Roux's concerns is much more pointed: "EVANGELION! You're on steering! We need to get this thing out of city limits!"
KTS: Yuliana Dispersal targets Kaiju Navi with Point Blank Minovsky Particle Chaff Release! KTS: Kaiju Navi blocks Lina Lombardi's ExAMACS Assault Rifle Barrage, taking 1560 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 28830 I don't understand that. Try this instead: +defend 1 wth retreat with
KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to retreat. KTS: Eisen Daiwel enervates Kaiju Navi, reducing its Morale significantly. KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to react to Eisen Daiwel's Sonic Glaive Cut, taking 6840 damage! KTS: [Dynamic Hit] Eisen Daiwel's Experience This Curse With Me! activates, causing Deject! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 21990 KTS: Eisen Daiwel has engaged Kaiju Navi! KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to evade Roux Louka's Roux Seven Beam Rifle Strafe, taking 4400 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 17590 KTS: Yuliana Dispersal enervates Kaiju Navi, reducing its Morale significantly. KTS: Yuliana Dispersal rattles Kaiju Navi, making its next maneuvers more difficult. KTS: Kaiju Navi partially guards Yuliana Dispersal's Point Blank Minovsky Particle Chaff Release, taking 1665 damage! KTS: [Dynamic Hit] Yuliana Dispersal's Black Hole activates, causing Jam L1! KTS: [Dynamic Hit] Yuliana Dispersal's Minovsky's Woman activates, causing Deject! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 15925 KTS: Yuliana Dispersal repulses Kaiju Navi, forcing it to disengage.
<Pose Tracker> Kaiju Navi has posed.
Slowly and surely, the colossal cow's jaw parts wider and wider, sparks of energy building up deep in its throat - until suddenly, and perhaps slightly disgustingly, cables from its prior windmill ingestion come surging out, hurling out a heavy webbing of regurgitated cords in the direction of Lina's Alto, crackling with lingering electricity and...let's say the fluid coating them is just some sort of motor oil.
Eisen's attempt to ride the cow are met with a little more ineffectual wobbling from side to side, bucking slowly to try and push the Evangelon off...before it halts, very suddenly - and instead, retaliates with two panels opening on either flank, countless whirring drones painted black and white pouring from each side - all surging towards Eisen angrily, each one detonating when in close proximity!
Unfortunately for Roux and Yuliana, the suburbs of Nouvelle Tokyo are exactly where the cow planned to target next, and it picks up the pace in trying to charge there, even if it means pushing its joints to the limit in trying to out and out trample the both of them under its earth-quaking hooves! The whole thing seems guided by the various patterns of those same drones blinking off in the distance. It's a rather elaborate setup they've got for just getting a cow moving around, and the reason is very obvious as soon as the double-barrage of energy-rich firepower aimed right at the cow's head hits the same weak point Eisen had exposed.
A loud, piercing *CRACK* splits the air, revealing within the cow-kaiju's cranium the primary control system...that being: an actual cow, meandering in a gyroscopically stabilized sphere coated in grass, with a big old VR headset wrapped around its face. Its ambling cow-ish motions are repeated by the larger cow body, including each intermittent leaning down to munch on grass...
--->BATTLE MASTERY: Rescue [Cow] from the kaiju before turn 5!
KTS: Kaiju Navi has activated the Strike Spirit Command. KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Lina Lombardi with Ruminant Fiber Entangle! KTS: Kaiju Navi has activated the Strike Spirit Command. KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Eisen Daiwel with AUROCH Herd Drones Double Fire! KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Roux Louka with Thunder of the Ox King - Flatten! KTS: Kaiju Navi targets Yuliana Dispersal with Thunder of the Ox King - Flatten! KTS: Yuliana Dispersal successfully avoids Kaiju Navi's Thunder of the Ox King - Flatten KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 56. <Pose Tracker> Roux Louka has posed.
"What the **** is that?" Roux Louka says when the Ichinana's software zooms in on a damaged sector using something called "R-FIST?" Technology.
Of course, she has greater problems.
KTS: Roux Louka successfully avoids Kaiju Navi's Thunder of the Ox King - Flatten KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 92. KTS: Kaiju Navi anchors Lina Lombardi, forcing her into close range. KTS: Lina Lombardi blocks Kaiju Navi's Ruminant Fiber Entangle, taking 2520 damage! KTS: Kaiju Navi has engaged Lina Lombardi! KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 128. KTS: Eisen Daiwel's Will Barrier activates, negating 500 base damage. KTS: Eisen Daiwel blocks Kaiju Navi's AUROCH Herd Drones Double Fire, taking 1080 damage! KTS: EN Regen activates. Your new EN value is 164.
<Pose Tracker> Lina Lombardi has posed.
"Jazz, she's right. Switching to manual targeting."
Lina grumbles as her aux cameras activate, giving her a better view of the battlefield. Before she can fully react, the tendrils grab at the Alto, managing to brush off most of the impact, but being pulled in close to the cow. "Gaah! Damn!" However, at this new range, she has a good view of the kaiju's...cowntrol system. "Hey, uh, Mousetrap. There's a cow here."
"Yes, and? ...Wait, I'm seeing your feed...that's a cow."
"Hey, all of you! You seein' this? We just get the cow outta that thing and the whole big mama'll go down with it, eh? Any of you guys got anything cow-sized?" She puts away her assault rifle and pulls out her spear, it would be more effective at this range and easier to aim on auxilary targeting.
KTS: Lina Lombardi targets Kaiju Navi with ExAMACS Spear Swing! KTS: Eisen Daiwel has activated the Valor Spirit Command. <Pose Tracker> Roux Louka has posed.
The great bovine head is split, revealing its occupant within! Roux stares in disbelief at this thing before she realizes - almost too late - that the enormous THING is riding down on her. It's a great stampede! Roux tenses backwards, and for a moment she senses doom before --
Controls are mo(o)ved
levers pulled
a switch flipped
and
With a burst of Photon Power, the Ichinana flits out of the way, hovering in the air for a moment, arms held up above it, the Beam Rifle raised aloft! Unfortunately, its Last Shooting was like 20 seconds ago.
"A cow?" Roux says. "That's a COW in there?"
"What kind of a sick freak puts a farm animal in control of a machine the size of a battleship!? What kind of even sicker freak builds it?! Something like this doesn't just happen!" Roux continues, with the power of burning blood! "You had -- you had SUBCONTRACTORS for something this big!"
"Subcontractors for a mobile devastating cow prison!!"
"Aghhh!!! I can't deal with this!! You in the Alto! Get the animal out of there! I'll open the gap for you, with --" The Ichinana comes to Earth momentarily but then leaps back upwards from the top of a detached parking structure. "This! Rust--Squall!!"
It's a cloud of sparkling particles, wafted out from the Ichinana's chest, towards that open crevasse! They rapidly oxidize metals!
Cows aren't made of metal.
Roux assumes that they aren't anyway
KTS: Roux Louka has activated the Spirit Spirit Command. KTS: Roux Louka targets Kaiju Navi with Rust Squall! <Pose Tracker> Eisen Daiwel has posed.
<"This is the Evangelion Unit-Zahllos. Code name Carestia."> Eisen calls back to Roux Louka as the more-monsterous-than-usual looking Evangelion continues to engage the Mecha Cow. <"Thanks for the Cover."> He's not Spanish, but this isn't the time to instruct people on being multi-lingual... for the sake of treasure-raiding countries for awesome sounding words.
You never know when they could come in handy.
<"I'm all on board any plans that will lead this thing back to water."> Eisen instead continues on to Roux Louka. The youth, egocentric as he can be sometimes, can't help but grin at the idea of having a unique role like this. <"I'll steer this steer!">
Or so he wants to attempt, as the cow wobbles from side to side.... then... panels! Eisen spots them from his new vantage point, and quickly engages the A.T. field. Protecting his 'heart' as the octogonal light comes to bear. The drones get close, and he pushes Carestia to expand the field position, causing the drones to react too fast! Detonations rapidly ripple across the Evangelion, but it is taking the punishment remarkably well with its heavy armor and its wings further moving inwards to protect its main shell!
Eisen leans the Carestia forward, trying to grab it by the horns to force it to steer to the side. As the head opens up, and reveals the inner quary! A... Bovine in a Bovine.
Eisen is honestly stumped at the sight at first. A Cow with a VR headset, running in a sphere... what!? Who would... WHY would...
But more importantly, what technological genius enabled this!? What technology is this!?
The Evangelion pilot wishes to learn more. But that would require not destroying the 'head' of the Cow.
<"I need samples of this unit in order to investigate its origin. I'm going to try and sever the head from the main body."> Eisen declares. <"Please hold."> As the Carestia's claws remain on its body, and its wings suddenly FLARE out. The gossamer light between each 'spoke' of its wings grabbing hold of the air, trying to slow the cow down, as the entire unit suddenly seems to 'droop' over and its jaw UNHINGES. Metalic teeth and spittle out on display as its head descend.
<"MATADOR'S VIOLENCE TECHNIQUE!"> Eisen demands as those teeth try to grab into the neck of the Mecha-Cow in an attempt to separate it by the neck! <"CHUCK HOWLING!"> And BITES down, starting to tear and chomp it, shearing through metal!
KTS: Eisen Daiwel targets Kaiju Navi with Devour!
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Ah, damn it--!" Yuliana grunts, as she pushes her wanzer to weave through the streets. She's experienced enough that she pulls up a map of the area on one of her displays just as a matter of fact, and makes sure to flee in the opposite direction of the nearest hospital. If the cow kaiju is going to rampage trying to trample her underfoot, she's going to lead it in the least objectionable direction.
Shame about the office buildings she runs past instead -- but this is a better solution for everyone, especially given the time of night. Besides, she might be able to take advantage of it, later. Win-win, really.
And yet -- "Cow?!" The Tiandong 3 yelps, in plain surprise, when she pulls up to observe what the Evangelion unveils.
As the Alto asks whether they have anything cow-sized, Yuliana briefly considers just rappelling up there and cooking the damn thing. She performs a silent vibe check: Londo Bell, weenies, probably against it. NERV, surely cool with it, but there's a kid in there. What seems to all the world to just be an unattached mercenary: utter wild card, but she did phrase it as 'get the cow outta that thing', so it's reasonable to assume she's against breaking a cow to make some mince meat.
(That's not how the saying goes, Yuliana.)
Ethical conclusion: for the sake of her public image, she has to save the cow.
Of course, the Evangelion is currently skipping the cooking stage to just grab a steak, but that's fine. That's probably fine. "All right!" Yuliana yells, as she tosses her axe up to catch on one of the Mecha-Bovine's horns, and pull herself up. "Let's crack this can open!"
That's pretty literal -- she's taking her cleave axe and applying it to the rusted metal the Ichinana sets up, to open the cow's seating up to open air so the Alto can swoop in.
She even makes sure to open it from above so that the cow doesn't fall out the sides while it's surely flailing around about getting chomped in the neck. Isn't she nice?
KTS: Yuliana Dispersal targets Kaiju Navi with MULS-P Cleave Axe Lunge! KTS: Kaiju Navi blocks Lina Lombardi's ExAMACS Spear Swing, taking 3360 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 12565 KTS: Lina Lombardi has engaged Kaiju Navi! KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to rush. KTS: Eisen Daiwel enervates Kaiju Navi, reducing its Morale significantly. KTS: Eisen Daiwel rattles Kaiju Navi, making its next maneuvers more difficult. KTS: Kaiju Navi partially guards Eisen Daiwel's Devour, taking 8280 damage! KTS: [Dynamic Hit] Eisen Daiwel's Experience This Curse With Me! activates, causing Deject! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 4285 KTS: Eisen Daiwel has engaged Kaiju Navi! KTS: Invalid queue number. KTS: Invalid queue number. KTS: Invalid queue number. KTS: Kaiju Navi blocks Roux Louka's Rust Squall, taking 3720 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at 565 KTS: Yuliana Dispersal anchors Kaiju Navi, forcing it into close range. KTS: Kaiju Navi fails to evade Yuliana Dispersal's MULS-P Cleave Axe Lunge, taking 5400 damage! KTS: Your unit's HP stands at -4835 KTS: Kaiju Navi has been defeated! KTS: You're out of the fight. Consider using +eject to leave the battlefield. KTS: Yuliana Dispersal has engaged Kaiju Navi! KTS: Yuliana Dispersal roots her unit, coming to a standstill and leaving her vulnerable.
<Pose Tracker> Kaiju Navi has posed.
As it falls under one last protracted push, the leviathan livestock (we're reaching here!) roars out one last, terse, "MOOOOOOOOOOOO." - lined up with the controlling cow plaintively calling out a much more ordinary "mooooooo". It seems to have relatively little idea what's actually going on, so that's nice!
The fierce bite tearing at the neck would probably make the cow much more alarmed and panicked if it were feeling a whole lot of pain, but they seem to have planned mostly around carefully guiding the cow around to some unknown destination over worrying about whether it's damaged or not. In the VAGUEST direction of the cow-kaiju's trajectory is the headquarters for the Senpuuji Concern, so it's probably some sort of plot there! It does start running faster and faster in that direction in response to the shearing of its neck - as though Eisen applied some sort of spurring to it, but...!
The Rust Squall does indeed start corroding the head area quite dramatically - the cow itself protected by its glassy enclosure from any sort of corrosive shrapnel. It exposes far more weak points for Yuliana's axe to hack at, and by this point, the actual rumbling and roiling so near the cow's enclosure seems to confuse it a little, the rush of the evening air at this altitude making the creature brace - which in turn, causes the mechanical kaiju to hunker down as well. At this point it's seemingly been thoroughly incapacitated and exposed - but the headset around the cow's face is decidedly still making the machine move around a bit!
<Pose Tracker> Lina Lombardi has posed.
"Okay, Jazz, delicate here."
"I know, it's a damn cow!" The Alto sheathes its spear and hovers over to the kaiju's cranium, holding out its arms. "Okay, I'm gonna try to take the entire enclosure out, we can worry about the cow once I've touched down." Lina gulps as the Alto's hand reaches through the corroded metal, gently gripping at the orb holding the livestock and giving it as ginger a pull as she can with a giant robot, her thrusters pulling her back as slowly as they can to help remove it. This was definitely a more delicate mission than she was used to, that's for sure. "Maybe for once the old woman will compliment me without it being some kind of lesson."
"You've really got to get your mind off of her..."
KTS: Lina Lombardi targets Kaiju Navi with Pass!
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
The machine is still moving, which means Yuliana has to be constantly adjusting her gearbox and thrusters and balance calculations to stay on the machine. This is something she does without much thought; after so many years, it's just natural.
"Right, the whole enclosure?" Yuliana presses, as the Alto grabs the orb. "Alright, let's see here..."
The small wanzer -- it's the most diminutive machine here, for all its teeth -- is well-situated to get in under the mechanics the Alto is grasping. With motions more like hacking than slicing (a Cleave Axe doesn't have much of an edge, strictly speaking), she uses her melee weapon to help disconnect the Cow Orb from the machine it's supporting, so that the Alto can pull it out without disturbing the bovine inside.
KTS: Yuliana Dispersal targets Kaiju Navi with Pass! <Pose Tracker> Eisen Daiwel has posed.
With the Cow having slowed, the massive tail of the Carestia wraps around the hind legs, binding them tight against the bottom of its body, to ensure that it cannot kick off or get away. The enormous Evangelion's jaws still latched onto its neck, trying to find the conduits through which it was being controlled. Like a cat grabbing onto a kitten, trying to make sure it stays still.
<"Hurry up."> Eisen calls out as Lina attempts to recover the cow. <"We don't want it to freak out and make this situation worse."> He remarks, while considering what lies ahead.
The Senpuuji Concern.
<"I hope we can recover the program. Or tell if there was an outside signal. It was storming a bit conspicuously at that last bit."> He points out.
<Pose Tracker> Roux Louka has posed.
After releasing the Rust Squall, the Ichinana lands.
It seems dismayed by what the Evangelion is doing. This is setting a really low benchmark for what Roux Louka expects from an Evangelion, and she will probably not be shocked so much as relieved if she should ever see others doing...
y'know, stuff.
"Be careful, it may have wires or something! If you don't think you can get it out, we can... call a vet or something," Roux advises, and perhaps supervises, while not actually -- moving to help -- with the project.
The Ichinana begins moving towards the front of the bovine machine, and Roux, perhaps more for her own sake than the animal's, extends one Photonic-powered hand. Perhaps to warily ward off the creature, in honor of its dinosaurian ancestors.
<Pose Tracker> Kaiju Navi has posed.
[SR Point Gained.]
Thankfully, disconnecting the cow's pod from the rest of the body seems to grind the entire monstrosity to a halt - through it all, the cow itself is relatively relaxed, if slightly wary, taking another big chomp of the already half-eaten grass in its enclosure in the meantime. Finally, the chaos seems to be at an end...
Just kidding! As soon as everyone takes a breath of relief, what remains of the cow's head seems to utterly vomit up a huge cloud of those same drones from earlier - all of them carrying off various components from the wind turbines the machine had devoured earlier, scattering off in myriad directions. But once they all scatter, THEN the night is finally quiet. Ish. Unless you're where they're passing by! Hundreds of years later and those things are still pretty damn noisy!
Meanwhile, in the streets below...
...Yurika Misumaru has finally given up her pursuit of the runaway drone-controlling-spider-thingy, and is exhaustedly slurping away at her miso in a local stall, her flamboyant robes disheveled. At the request of the clientele, the big flickery LEDs on her back are switched to the world's worst resolution of tonight's big soccer game, and she just has to put up with people cheering on indistinct pixels while grousing over her dinner at just how wrong it all went...!
<Pose Tracker> Lina Lombardi has posed.
"Mission accomplished. You did good work. Now lets get back on the ground and get that cow free."
Lina keeps her breath held as the Alto gingerly touches down in the nearest clearing, kneeling down and lowering its hands to the ground, deactivating as the cockpit opens and Lina pops out, finally exhaling. "Alright! That went well! Anybody got anything that can cut glass?"
<Pose Tracker> Eisen Daiwel has posed.
Drones suddenly pour from the cow's head, and Eisen has no real way to grab or capture any of them. An Evangelion isn't made for that kind of delicate work. And he most certainly isn't carrying any sample bottles with him for this mission. So he is forced to let them go. Grimacing at the fact that 'information' is getting away from him.
The Evangelion then slowly steps off of the cow, that tail remaining firmly wrapped around its legs, further coiling around the 'rump' section of the cow, as it begins to slowly move it to the outside of the city, carefully stepping as to not cause any further damage.
City damage is only cool in-battle. Out of battle, it's just excessive.
"This will be taken care of. I'll see if NERV can't investigate why the cow was making a run for The Senpuuji Concern there. Thank you for your assistance." Eisen remarks in a more droning tone. The battle is over, and life has as such immediately gotten more 'boring'. He's trying to adjust his mental state to focus instead on the fact that he gets to do research on this metalic behemoth!
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Gyah!" The Tiandong 3 emits, because it was on the mecha-cow's head at the time. Off flutter the drones! But the kaiju, itself, grows inert, and that's... good enough?
Good enough.
The wanzer comes back down to ground level, in that same clearing, as Yuliana transmits: "The Federation will commit the appropriate followup to this... particular attack." Words carefully not used: 'damn', 'cow', 'absolute nonsense'. That's what makes her a professional. Just ignore all the times she hasn't been.
The cockpit pops open. Yuliana looks out.
She grabs her radio to transmit to Lina: "What, you don't carry a glass cutter?"
Why Yuliana Dispersal is carrying a glass cutter on her is a mystery she will solve never, but at least the cow will be okay.
KTS: Lina Lombardi's eEXM-17FT Alto Flight Type has left Lina_Lombardi teleports out.
KTS: Yuliana Dispersal's Tiandong 3 Annihilation Custom has left Yuliana_Dispersal teleports out.