2022-12-02: The Man of Our Memories
- Log: 2022-12-02: The Man of Our Memories
- Cast: Mineva Lao Zabi, Sayla Mass
- Where: Villa Mass, AEU Spain
- OOC - IC Date: 26 November UC0096
- Summary: Artesia Som Deikun and Mineva Lao Zabi speak face to face of someone who tore holes in both their lives.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
A little while later, Sayla works in her study waiting for Mineva, the door open for her to enter. *Now* she has a whiskey on her desk next to her, and the bottle sits in the small drinks cabinet.
Does she know it's the same brand as his?
She works, ready to drop everything once Mineva arrives. This will be... a difficult conversation.
</poem>
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Showered and made somewhat presentable, she arrives at the door to Sayla's study in a slightly oversized t-shirt and shorts, taking a deep breath and steeling herself before knocking, and stepping inside.
"Doctor Mass," she greets, inclining her head. A brief glance is paid to the whiskey--she recognizes the label, but doesn't say anything. She pushes the door shut behind her, and takes a few steps forward. "... he always said I could count on you. To come find you, if there was nowhere else to turn." A small, bittersweet smile crosses her lips. "I'm glad I could trust him on that much, at least."
She looks behind her--feels behind her, to make sure nobody's listening at the door. "And I should be honest with you... I know who you are. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell them--I just..." She thinks briefly. "... I can understand that this is a hard conversation for you," she says carefully.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"Audrey," Sayla returns, standing up from her desk. "Please, take a seat. This room is secure, if you're wondering. Including that door." That's about all she says, before her eyes go wide and those walls of hers crumble then reform, as Mineva continues. She was expecting to be the one managing this conversation. Instead she reaches for the scotch.
"I'm surprised, actually." There's bitterness there. Bitterness and loss. "I'm surprised he mentioned me to you at all." She sits back in her chair, looking... somewhat defeated. She takes a sip of the scotch, putting the glass back down and looking up at Mineva.
"It is." 'Difficult' is a word for it. "Sixteen years with no communication, and then he sends you to me posthumously..." She sighs. "...Are you actually alright with this? Sitting comfortably with a woman who helped kill your father?" Sayla has not been one to shy away from the elephant in the room when it matters. And she wants to know what her brother told Mineva.
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
"I'd be lying if I said this wasn't scary," Mineva confesses, taking a seat; her body stays tense, hands folded in her lap, sat forward a hair. "It's hard for me, too. What he was to me..."
A father.
A mentor.
A betrayer.
"... isn't what he was to you, or to the world. He needed to be stopped... and I understand that."
Her heart nearly shattered that day.
Why... after everything you taught me, why? Why would you do this?
Far above, in the space between one of the colony's windows and its mirror, a young girl watches as a flickering point of fire crosses the half-dark disk of the Earth.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
There's a pause, as Sayla takes a second to realize who Mineva's talking about, and it catches her offguard. "I... didn't mean Casval." Sayla says, speaking his name to someone else for the first time in so long.
She looks at Mineva, picking up on those feelings in the air. "I imagine that's true," Sayla responds, trying to stay calm. "But I imagine that what he was to you and what he was to me..."
A memory of a blonde boy climbing a tree to fetch a scared black cat, jumping down- and just barely sticking the landing.
"...are similar, if not the same."
Sayla feels the memories, the confusion, the betrayal. "...I asked the same question myself. A lot, when it came to him. Sometimes to his face." Sayla sighs. "He never cared to answer."
She takes a long breath. "Leina doesn't know, and I appreciate you not telling her. As far as I'm concerned, that poor girl from Side 3 died with her parents. I'd like it to stay that way." It's an awkward silence for the next few minutes, as Sayla tries to work out where to go from here.
"What did you want to ask me?" She finally gets around to asking. "Or where those questions were just to ease Leina and Banagher's concerns?"
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Mineva is mortified. Of course she meant Dozle. it takes a few moments for her to ease herself again, taking a deep breath. For as confident as she acts, she's absolutely nervous...
"R-right... of course that's who you meant." She sighs. "I never knew him... or any other Zabi, for that matter. The things they did..." A wave of guilt washes over her, as her hands clasp together. "They had to be stopped. "
The things she's read, the things she was told... the things Haman tried to drill into her.
She thinks, maybe, she's better off not having known them.
The memory of the young boy brings a faint smile to her lips. "We knew a side of him he rarely showed anyone else. I can't decide if that's something to treasure, or another cruelty."
She nods. "I thought if you hadn't told her, it was for a reason... and, some of it was to ease their minds, yes." She laughs, just a little. "I needed to get this--talking to you about what I know, about Char..." She's unsure, suddenly, which to call him. She knew him as Char, but should she call him Casval? Edouard, maybe?
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla feels that guilt wash over Mineva and she pauses, simultaneously hardening her resolve and softening her demeanor. "Audrey. You don't bear their crimes. You aren't responsible for what they did." Cautiously, steeling her walls, she extends a hand to the young woman, palm up, on the table, for her to choose whether she takes it. "Don't worry. Connections like yours don't form reliably. And I'm prepared."
Whether or not Mineva takes it, Sayla continues. "Trying to bear a burden that wasn't his is what turned him into Char. His 'revenge' for our father and mother." For all the firmness in her voice, there's sorrow and care as well. "Please don't carry sins that aren't yours."
Sayla gives a bleak chuckle. "...Nanai said something similar. Though I wasn't really able to take it in at the time." The laugh is an act. It still feels bleak. "...Most of the time I think the latter now. Wondering if I could have done something different. Stopped him."
"Don't move! Drop it!"
"You're brave. You don't look like a soldier or a guerilla."
"Move, and I'll shoot!"
"She looks like..."
"Please take off the helmet! And face the other way!"
A gasp. An impact. A gun clattering to the floor.
"But... she's too strong... to be Artesia."
She pulls her thoughts closed. "I don't mind which name you use. Use the one you know him as." Know him? Knew him. "The last time I saw him was at A Bao A Qu. I don't know what I can tell you, but I'll try." She pauses. "And it might help me to learn who he was with you."
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Trying to bear a burden that wasn't his...
Mineva leans forward, taking Sayla's hand, cautiously, bracing for the flood of emotion and memory...
It doesn't come.
She relaxes slightly, simply... appreciating the contact. She smiles softly, and sighs. "For all the good he did me, I think I was his last stab at my family, in some way. Especially looking back... it's easy to see it all as self-serving. Raising me like a normal person instead of a noble, teaching me what my family did... he killed all the rest, so why else would he spare me?"
It's easy to wonder if he ever did anything out of the good of his heart. The way she thinks about her family, it's not hard to tell that he left her with baggage.
"... but I know he loved me. Even if I was that, I was more than that." Her mind opens, and memories pour out. Happy memories.
A father, helping his daughter with her homework. Taking her out to get ice cream. Bandaging her wounds. Listening, letting her cry on his shoulder. Protecting her, always making sure she had a roof over her head.
She misses him. Her lips purse together, and she cries quietly.
Her heart falls through her stomach, watching the news and learning he's dropping asteroids on Earth. It can't be true. It can't be him, he must not have known--
A glimmer of orange and red hangs over the distant Earth. She pleads with a man beyond saving, too far away to hear...
"I had no idea... if I'd known, I could have..."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Now that Mineva has taken Sayla's hand, Sayla closes her hand and gives a gentle squeeze. Now they're past the intial moment, it's easier for her to maintain it.
Sayla listens for a while, simply holding onto that hand.
She deserved better, Casval.
She can feel that loneliness. And so, carefully, Sayla lets some of her own complicated feelings out. There's despair, anger, loneliness... but strongest of the mix is a longing. The feelings of the little girl who misses her older brother are still there, and they stuck with the young woman in front of Mineva.
"Keep holding my hand, okay?" Sayla's movements are careful, to walk around the desk without breaking the controlled contact, so she doesn't have to tamp down again. And once she's positioned, she leans down to hug the crying Mineva. There's no burst of emotions. Everything is controlled.
"It's okay to miss him. I miss him too. It's okay to miss him despite everything else." She wonders if her therapist would have told her that if she'd know who the late Edouard was. "And it's okay to feel like he hurt you. Or betrayed you." She keeps that hug up. "Part of the kind, gentle older brother I knew survived to raise you." Which makes it all the more inexplicable that he did what he did.
"Don't torture yourself about what could have been. I think by then it was too late." Sayla continues to try and comfort her brother's daughter. "He... never was good at understanding what I really wanted. I think it might be the same with you."
Sayla finally shakes her head. "We'll never understand." She hopes so desperately that they'll never understand. "And we don't need to. But I'm going to keep trying to prove him wrong. It's up to you what you do, and I'll help you however I can."
I'm going to do what you asked me to, Casval, just this once. It's the least I can do for someone else you left behind.