2022-11-08: Scuttling
- Log: 2022-11-08- Scuttling
- Cast: Rei Ayanami, Akane Shinjo
- Where: ??????
- OOC - IC Date: ?????
- Summary: Akane Shinjo makes a friend.
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<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
A concrete box.
Light comes in through curtains in the stillness. Not much. It's not the moon, exactly, but with the curtains closed you cannot see quite to tell.
The night is interrupted by a step that doesn't quite go where it's supposed to; a bare white foot on a bare gray floor, touching a spot that is uncharacteristically smooth. One would think you would want smoothness, yes? Precision; efficiency; high quality. But it is not always desirable. Not when your foot is bare, and you are walking in the dark.
Rei Ayanami slips and she feels herself lurch. Many of her instinctive behaviors are vestigal, neither stimulated nor subtly modelled, but this one is not; her left arm flies out to grasp at the corner of the little space from which she was emerging, and even as she throws her arm up she can feel what has happened.
It is not enough to catch herself, although the contact of her hand on the corner means the fall takes three seconds and has a certain slow-motion farcicalness to it; her arm jerking upwards, her upper body twisting around, almost balletic in its motion.
The pain comes, like being slapped with a thin bar of electrified metal. It comes from the nexus on her upper shoulder, near her neck, that space in the soft and fleshy realm that has nearly no scar now but which was patiently reassembled while she lay in state beneath anesthetic.
It echoes through her, like a bag of ball bearings thrown into a hollow jar. Rei sprawls on her side, and her face contorts, and she has never thought of why, because she has no reason to. But somehow --
-- Somehow it feels different than it did, so recently as the beginning of the Angels -- was that truly recent?
-- somehow it
hurts more, the feeling making her chest heave. She gasps. She lays there, on the ground, feeling the throb-throb-throb of the pain in her shoulder and her jaw and her neck and her arm and her breast and her back as it begins, terribly slowly, to recede.
Her eyes turn to where she knows to go now. To the medicine on the dresser. When it is like this, take two additional capsules. She knows. It has happened before, it will happen -
- again?
A great feeling swims through Rei Ayanami, for which she has no name.
The part of her that wants to cry out; but what comes out instead is a sort of wet gasp, two-tenths of the way to a sob.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane perches atop her construction crane ('hers,' as if it is a thing she owns -- but then, all things in Tsutsujidai are 'hers.' ... and yet not, now -- indeed, maybe not ever. Do we own ourselves, in the end?) and stares out numbly.
This strategy isn't even working. What's she doing?
She's... thinning the ranks of her enemies. Breaking them apart from one another. She needs them to be isolated and alone so she can win; she needs to win so she can beat a Vessel of Light; she needs to beat a Vessel of Light so she can put her city back where it's supposed to be, back like it's supposed to be.
There is a great thud off in the distance from where the dream starts for its other inhabitant. Akane moves in short order to meet it -- and arrives just a moment after that pained gasp.
She's wearing a long white coat, a clinging purple tank top, and a black skirt, as she reaches down and looks Rei over. The medication is already in her hand, and she extends a hand, holding it. In the other she holds a bottle of cheap hojicha.
"You gonna be okay?" she asks, lips pursing a little bit. Her expression softens as she looks over the room, then over Rei, in turn. "This really isn't appropriate housing for you in your current condition... jeez, I'm surprised they didn't give you traction socks. Sucks."
Tapping her chin, she asks, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Pain brings attention to your needs; that's a lesson Akane understands, at least. The shape of this dream is familiar. She knows where to take her from this sad, lonely point.
... she can do better than NERV can. She's seen that time and time again. Besides... Kaworu asked her to treat Rei kindly, and she can certainly show her the kindness a kaiju can offer..
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Someone comes into her home.
Her residence, at least.
Rei turns her head just a little. It hurts; everything hurts, of course, it always seems to. Her eyes are wet and she focuses. There is a dim sort of vestigal or perhaps ill-formed wondering. Who would come here? The only person who Rei could conceive of appearing in a moment like this would be Ikari.
And he's -
It's not him.
Rei's vision swims as she looks at the white-coated woman above her. It's not -
Dr. Akagi.
It's -
But she's asking -
"... what...?"
- about socks.
(Perhaps we should be charitable, dear reader, and say that in the hospital Rei knew such things, although they were never told to her by name. She rapidly learned the intuitive flow of how garments are put on, not least because there was never a moment of bemusement when an error was made. You did it wrong; those go elsewhere. That was that. And in the Geofront, the floors would have a far more uniform texture.)
(But be that as it may...)
Rei's mouth waters. She didn't expect to talk. It comes with effort for her at the best of time. She makes a creaking sort of noise, not quite a groan and not quite a whimper but akin to both. She formulates a sentence - "There," she says, looking towards the dresser. "The, white pills. The - the big jar." There is indeed a large container there of just that sort of pill, and it contains relatively high-dose acetaminophen+codeine pills.
"Two," Rei says; almost irrelevant information. She breathes in swift, chest-heaving gasps. Her left arm squeezes and moves. She rolls herself onto her back, which makes her let out one huge gasp and then, at least, seem to calm; to not cry out.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Okay," Akane says, moving to the dresser in short order. She looks at the pills for a moment, a small amount of worry crossing her face -- but only a small amount, and only for a moment. After all, it's just a dream. The pain isn't real.
The kindness she can offer, however, is quite real.
She moves back down to Rei, extending a hand with pills -- and after a moment, she thinks to offer the bottle of hojicha, too. "Dry swallowing this stuff sucks, too. I'm pretty sure you can, but... look, humor me and have a little tea, okay? It's good. The cheap stuff is always a little nostalgic, right?"
They treat her like she's an object, Akane thinks, without a hint of irony. It's one thing to treat what are essentially just lines of code that way, but people...
... it's just another reminder of why the outside world was so horrible she had to leave, she tells herself. Maybe she couldn't fix it for everyone, but for this one? Sure.
Akane takes a moment to look her over. "... I think I should get you something a little stronger, but I'll hold off for now." She takes a breath, and asks a question she thinks ought to be simple.
"What else can I do for you? You've got me as long as you need me." A beat passes. "It doesn't have to be, like, 'get me this' or anything, either. If you wanna talk, or if you need me for something longer-term... I can help with that too."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
They're not the only pills there. There are perhaps seven different kinds, although a couple of them might be rare. Rei doesn't move, just gasping for breath as the pills are found, collected, and brought to her.
She reaches up, to take them from Akane's hand. With her right arm. She raises her hand up and drops them in her mouth, lips contorting a little; and then--
A bottle is being offered to her.
What (Akane?) is saying is so many useless words, but the bottle is wet. Her hand splays slightly and then takes the bottle; and she finds that she is able to carry through, and to sit, even if the pills are still on her tongue.
Open. Swig. At least it isn't messy. Her left hand seems clumsier.
Rei breathes heavily several times. Then more lightly. Then she seems to recognize that Akane is still there and when she looks up there is an expression of authentic, deep surprise on her face.
"... I," Rei says, before stopping.
There is a period of silence, during which time Rei looks away. She scratches the back of her neck with her left hand. It goes on for quite some time, but that's alright, isn't it?
Finally, she says, "... why did you help me?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Patience doesn't come naturally to Akane, but in the dream, she can pretend. While Rei takes her time in taking her pills (understandably), Akane stares out at her world with a slightly flat expression.
She's going to need to actually bring all those pills, Akane realizes. Akane herself will probably have to look at them pretty closely -- maybe even look them up online.
There's a limit to how contextless an idea can be, after all.
The question snaps Akane back to attention in the dream. She reaches up, adjusting her glasses briefly; they glint in the light, making the cracks all the more obvious.
"Why would someone not help you?" comes Ms. Shinjo's counter-question, direct and to the point. "You're the kind of person who helps other people... you deserve to receive that back."
'You deserve to receive that back.' That's why Tsutsujidai exists at all, isn't it? To... give that back. That love.
Akane leans back on the construction crane, looking up toward Alexis. He offers her nothing.
"Besides," comes Akane's follow-up. "Do you really wanna live in a world where people can hear someone totally biff it onto the floor and not come help?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei turns her head away from Akane and looks at the floor. Akane has a question.
Akane's helped her. She deserves an answer.
It takes a moment to come, if nothing like that long period when Rei had to assimilate fast-dissolving opiate and anti-inflammatory compounds.
"I don't know what the answer is," Rei says.
"You speak of a way that the world should be, and I don't know if I think like that," Rei continues. "It is strange. Like glass in the road. But..."
Her hips shift. Her legs come up. She hugs her knees, loosely, not looking at Akane.
"'Do you want to live in a world,'" Rei echoes, not finishing the sentence.
Her head lifts. She looks towards the roof.
"... I don't know if I can live anywhere."
The medicines seem to be primarily painkillers and anti-inflammatory compounds. There's one unlabelled bottle but it is, fortunately, pretty full.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane wonders at the sheer number of painkillers Rei has. It's such a cruel thing -- to simply shove her in a box and say, 'this ought to be enough for your pain.'
"Is it that weird...?" Akane asks, in response to Rei. "I kind of get what you mean, though. You're thinking about the world as it is. Not how it could be."
Akane flinches. ... no. See it through, she tells herself -- this is the pilot of the one you chunked. Her pain is your responsibility -- so she needs to see the way you see the world.
Akane has to take a long breather before continuing.
"Well... why don't we start there?" Akane asks, though, when Rei says she doesn't know if she can live anywhere. "We can definitely improve your living space. I can put in for you to go somewhere else."
She gets comfortably situated next to Rei, reaching out with one hand.
"We can try a place designed much more for you. A place that won't hurt you like this."
She doesn't quite take her hand. But she waits there.
"Wouldn't that be better?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
"As it could be?" Rei asks.
The words plant something, but they are seeds that will rest for a long time.
Rei's head turns to look towards Akane as she speaks. Improve your living space. That -
-- didn't I, Rei thinks --
-- but this place, Rei thinks, glancing back towards the barren concrete cube. The curtains billow faintly, but they are the curtains that veil nothing in particular. The night is cloudy outside. Rei knows. She didn't see the Moon again.
Perhaps, Rei thinks --
-- my memories are --
Did I dream? she wonders.
Is this a dream?
If I go, what will happen?
The ghost of a manifold of encouragements guides Rei's hand upwards. She raises it, gingerly, and sets her fingers against Akane's palm. Looking at the hand, then up at Akane. There are no words, but there is assent, at least.
I might die, Rei thinks. But
I can be replaced.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane takes Rei's hand --
-- and the dream begins to fall away.
It falls into a place where nothing exists -- nothing save Rei, and Akane, and traces of red and yellow and green. Akane's still clasping that hand -- but it's a little greedier now.
She can't quite bring herself to monologue at this stage anymore; the seduction of understanding has over time lost its excitement.
Instead, she has a simple, direct order:
"Please bring your meds with you."
That's all she manages. The dream breaks --
-- and there is a task, with some urgency.