2022-07-07: Awakening and Truth
- Log: Awakening and Truth
- Cast: Kaworu Nagisa, Rei Ayanami
- Where: A hospital in Tokyo-3
- OOC - IC Date: July 7, 0096 (2022)
- Summary: The night of Kaworu's awakening, Rei comes to pay him a visit.
+-----------------------------< Board 19/Post 65 >-----------------------------+ | Title: Update on the Tsutsujidai Investigation Poster: Asuka Shikinami | | Langley Date: Mon Jul 4 | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | A new report is filed with an update on the Tsutsujidai Investigation. | | | | Entity of Interest 1. 'The Devil' | | | | Name withheld due to information received that the entity can perceive when | | his name is spoken or written, including electronically. Guardian of EOI2 | | and 3. Further leads pending, our current intelligence indicates that | | Ruri Hoshino of the Nadesico knows more of him. Able to gift Kaiju for | | use by individuals in their aims, and to combine Kaiju to become greater | | in the sum total of their abilities. Appears to retain control of Kaiju | | that he gifts to others. Known to have supplied Kaiju in ZAFT attack in | | the OAC on 05/07 UC 96, and on Ptolemaeus Lunar Base on 05/21 UC 96. | | Suspected of supplying Kaiju for attack on Tokyo-03 on 06/21 UC 96. | | Potential Suspect in the Attempted Assassination of Administrator Nagisa. | | | | Threat level: Extreme. | | | | Entity of Interest 2. Akane Shinjo. | | | | (Description Included, no image attached. Address in Tsutsujidai | | enclosed.) Retains memories of events in the city after each Kaiju attack. | | Current intelligence indicates she is the elder sister of EOI3 and ward | | of EOI1. Assumed to control EOI3 through verbal insults, withdrawal of | | approval, starvation, neglect, and physical violence. Has been known to | | pose as an informant, likely to mislead investigators. Known to have | | established contact with Administrator Nagisa at some point prior to | | attempted assassination. Relationship with EOI1: Specifics Currently | | Unknown. Subordinate? Victim? Working Theory: Boosted Human given | | familial relationship to EOI3. Potential Suspect in the Attempted | | Assassination of Administrator Nagisa. | | | | Threat level: Unknown. Approach with Caution. | | | | Entity of Interest 3. Anti | | | | (Image attached. List of known locations that he frequents in Tsutsujidai | | and Nouvelle Tokyo attached) Current intelligence indicates that he is the | | younger brother of EOI2 and ward of EOI1, able to leave Tsutsujidai. | | Known to have established contact with Administrator Nagisa at some point | | prior to attempted assassination. Known Assailant of Individual under | | NERV Protection on 06/09 UC 96. Working theory: Boosted Human given | | combat performance. Weapon utilized: Circular Saw. | | | | Threat level: High. | | | | | +-----------------------------< SRTMOO +bboards >------------------------------+ +-----------------------------< Board 19/Post 67 >-----------------------------+ | Title: Update: Concert Attack in Tsutsujidai Poster: Liam 7-020 | | Date: Tue Jul 5 | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Liam posted a report about the attack on a Sheryl Nome concert in | | Tsutsuaiji not long after it happened. More recent events have | | necessitated revisions, so he's posted it again. (OOCly, we didn't have | | boards at the time, but he absolutely would have let people know, | | regardless of that, or me being busy Here it is!) | | | | Date: May 10, 96 | | Situation: Proceeded to extradimensional pocket "Tsutsujidai" after being | | given tickets to performance (Sheryl Nome) by Administrator Kaworu. | | Entered dimensional rift via Nouvelle Tokyo train; observed multiple | | stationary kaiju-like figures, dubbed 'Skyline Kaiju'. At no point did | | "Skyline Kaiju" intervene in any observable capacity. Concert proceeded as | | normal until heavy, anomalous fog rolled in, accompanying an entity dubbed | | "Kaiju A". Kaiju A made strategic strikes on civilian concertgoers before | | being engaged by a second Kaiju ("Kaiju B"), an Ultraman (provisionally | | dubbed "Ultraman A"), and a Vajra Heavy Drone (erroneously dubbed "Kaiju | | C" due to unfamiliarity with the species.) | | | | On-site military personnel, including myself, assisted with evacuation. In | | addition to VFs deployed by SMS security, two machines of unknown origin | | deployed to engage Kaiju A and conduct rescue operations. Provisional | | designation GC-X displayed similarities to old-model Guncannons, while | | provisional designation GT-Y displayed similarities to Guntanks from the | | same era. Both were heavily modified; their operators did not identify | | themselves, and retreated once the site was secure. | | | | Entities of Interest: | | | | "Kaiju A": (OOC: The section leads with an uploaded phone picture of | | Gonglee--a bipedal kaiju with stubby legs, a long torso, and tentacles, | | emerging from a fog bank and lashing out at something offscreen. There's a | | slice of that something in-frame: blue-violet armor.) Initially identified | | as an ambush predator, displaying localized fog-control capability as well | | as close-quarters combat. Seemed to be targeting specific individuals, as | | it had ample opportunity to cause mass death and instead focused on | | specific concertgoers. Three confirmed fatalities, victims unidentified | | due to circumstances (See: Followup Actions, below.) Sustained severe | | damage from attacks by responding machines, Ultraman A, Kaiju B, and Vajra | | Heavy Drone, and was ultimately destroyed within 7+/-2 minutes of | | emergence. | | | | A second instance of Kaiju A attacked Captain Shiro Kabuto of the OCU at | | PPL Ichinana testing grounds on 6-15-96. Superficially similar to original | | Gonglee iteration, but possessed EM field manipulation characteristic of | | "Mecha-Trembulor", Kaiju deployed by ZAFT agent against Ptolomaeus Base. | | Between these augmentations and much greater durability, this second | | instance held its own against Great Mazinger, Mazinger Z, and a support | | wing of 5 Ichinanas and an RPT-005. Kaiju A continued to demonstrate | | extreme focus on targeted individual(s), but deployed deadly force against | | allied units. | | | | "Kaiju fusion" phenomenon notable, as a second fused Kaiju was deployed in | | Tokyo-3 on 6-21-96 and caused heavy infrastructural damage, as well as | | civilian casualties. Circumstances of this deployment suspicious; | | according to Acting Chief Shishioh, there was high likelihood of | | involvement of Subject EOI1 ("The Devil"). | | | | Conclusions: Kaiju A presents extreme threat to individuals targeted for | | assassination, somewhat lesser threat in MS-scale combat. Anticipate | | addition of other combat capabilities, both documented and undocumented. | | "Kaiju fusion" phenomenon renders kaiju unpredictable. Exercise caution. | | | | "Kaiju B": (OOC: The section leads with an uploaded picture of Anti in his | | kaiju form--a bipedal, vaguely reptilian entity with blue-violet and | | salmon armor. Gonglee is attempting to grapple him with its tentacles.) | | Manifested without warning after the appearance of Kaiju A. Demonstrated | | strategic awareness, as well as speech; expressed anger over the | | disruption of the concert, and desire to listen to music. Expressed | | thoughts indicate both intelligence and complex inner life, or at least | | enjoyment of music. Threatened Ultraman A, but assisted him in combat | | against Kaiju A and Vajra Heavy Drone, utilizing grappling and striking | | techniques. | | | | Conclusions: Kaiju B presents severe threat, but communication may be | | possible. Sudden appearance/disappearance requires investigation. | | Teleportation? Transformation? Other phenomenon? Identify origin and | | motives. Exercise caution. | | | | Vajra Heavy Drone ("Kaiju C"): (OOC: The section leads with an uploaded | | picture of a Vajra heavy drone: an enormous insectile creature with a red | | exoskeleton and an enormous organic cannon built into its back. It's being | | grappled by "Kaiju B", who is attempting to crush its head.) Appeared | | after Kaiju B, and was engaged by concert security VFs. Conclusively | | identified as a Vajra heavy drone despite initial misidentification; the | | Vajra are extraterrestrial organisms of unknown origin and extreme | | hostility. This individual targeted the VFs, and seemed to have a | | secondary target, but was dragged into combat with Kaiju A, Kaiju B, and | | Ultraman A, and killed. | | | | Conclusions: Given Vajra swarm behavior, presence of lone individual in | | dimensional pocket highly unusual. Supplemental information on Vajra to be | | compiled in separate incident report (Orbital Ring conflict, 6-25-96). | | | | Actions Taken: Followup observation of Tsutsujidai media revealed no | | further details; all sources claim the concert was "called off due to | | weather" at the same time the kaiju attack commenced. No fatalities were | | reported. Presence of GC-X and GT-Y undocumented, as were actions of VF | | security. Suggests coverup, perhaps by EOI1 noted in Captain Langley's | | report. Did not observe subjects EOI2 or EOI3, but cannot rule out their | | presence during the concert or aftermath. GC-X and GT-Y unlikely to be | | hostile, but pilot alleigance unknown. Confirm if at all possible. | +-----------------------------< SRTMOO +bboards >------------------------------+
+-----------------------------< Board 19/Post 80 >-----------------------------+ | Title: Status Update: Admn. Nagisa Poster: Kaworu Nagisa Date: Fri | | Jul 8 | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | A medical report goes out on the NERV info network updating Kaworu's | | medical status to yellow-green. It goes into a bunch of dense medical | | lingo to describe that his head injury is healing well, his shoulder and | | leg injuries are also doing okay, that his radiation poisoning has been | | successfully treated, and that he's been transferred to a Tokyo-3 hospital | | to stay for physical therapy for at least another week. | | | | He's also been provisionally cleared for visitors and gifts, though | | security clearance will be strict since the attempted assassin is still at | | large. The equivalent of a PO Box is posted with the report for people to | | send gifts, cards, and similar well-wishes to. The actual location of | | Kaworu's hospital, and his specific room, is not included; the report | | indicates people will need clearance from Section 2, who will then arrange | | the visitation for them. | +-----------------------------< SRTMOO +bboards >------------------------------+
[T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa sounds tired but otherwise well as he says, "Good evening, everyone... I'm sorry to have worried you all." [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> Hooo, the Administrator speaks! Welcome back from the Gates of Hades. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa laughs a little. "Thank you." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> Kaworu! It's good to hear from you. Come on you don't got anything to worry about... I should apologize since we still haven't found that assassin. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "You needn't apologize, Lt. Colonel. I was informed of the kaiju attack that occurred just after the attack on me. I'm sure you've all had your hands full." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa asks, after a moment's hesitation, "How... has Shinji been?" [T-NRV] * Rei Ayanami shifts off the inactive status and leaves her mic open for several intervals, but does not actually say something. [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> ...Yeah that's true. I'll try and help the other Kids with their clearance passes so they can check on you. They were all pretty worried in their own ways. Unfortunately the Spiral Moon needs heavy repairs already. [T-NRV] (GaoGaiGo Team) Mamoru Amami perks up. "Ah, Administrator Nagisa. It's good to hear you've recovered! Mamoru Amami, GGG Blue." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> Hey Rei! You should give your well wishes to Kaworu while you can! [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> Administrator, are you still Plagued by the Halflife of Anomalous Particles? [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "Thank you. I appreciate that, Lt. Col. Katsuragi." To Mamoru: "Thank you. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Amami."
[O-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> (Read: Radiation. Since that was the original rumor.)
[T-NRV] Liam 7-020> Reporting. --Administrator? [T-NRV] * Liam 7-020 sounds genuinely relieved, for once. "I'm glad. Unable to make headway on your attacker, but... there are leads." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "Good evening, Liam. Thank you for letting me know." To Eisen, he pauses a half-beat. "I'm clean of any radiation poisoning." [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel simply declares, "Excellent." [T-NRV] Liam 7-020> ...Are you able to return to duty? [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "Soon." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> He's only been cleared for visitors. Going to be at least another week. [T-NRV] Rei Ayanami> ... Does it hurt? [T-NRV] (GaoGaiGo Team) Mamoru Amami> Well, that's a shame! We were throwing a party-slash-strategic meeing tomorrow for everyone. Do you want us to save you some stromboli and notes on anything we come up with? Can you eat solids? [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> Based on the lack of reverb of a Tracheostomy, or strange vocal-fry from paralyzed vocal chords, I imagine he can have solids. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says to Rei, simply, "Yes." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "While I can have solids, you don't need to save me any food. However, I'd appreciate copies of any notes you all come up with." [T-NRV] * Rei Ayanami says, after a period of open mic air, "I'm sorry." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, with warmth, "Thank you." [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> You gave them quite a scare. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "But not you?" [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel seems to take some time to come up with a response, before he remarks, "I'm not yet sure you are not secretly a Moon Rabbit." [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> Wait, do-over. Chang'e. That's a better reference. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa laughs a little. "You really don't like to show how you feel, do you?" [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel declares, "I show my feelings in Battle, and in Science." [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel then adds, giving in a bit, "People are... harder." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "It's all right. They are." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> It's ok you just fake it till you make it. [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel doesn't seem to know how to answer, so he just mumbles something. [T-NRV] Rei Ayanami> ... I hope you will feel better soon. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "First..." He makes a warm sound. "I don't know if it will be 'soon,' but I will recover." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> Just take your time. If you try to rush your recovery, you can hurt yourself. [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> We'll pick up the slack. [T-NRV] * Rei Ayanami presently replies, "Understood," but with a different sort of energy than usual. [T-NRV] Eisen Daiwel> Please tell me you at least have a really awesome looking scar. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "I don't know if they're 'awesome-looking,' but I have been scarred." [T-NRV] * Eisen Daiwel seems impressed, "Rad." [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "And I'll take that into account, Lt. Colonel." [T-NRV] Misato Katsuragi> I've got a scar too, but where it is is a secret o/~ You get used to it eventually. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa laughs a little. "It *is* an unusual experience." [T-NRV] * Liam 7-020 is silent on the subject of scars, for what may be obvious reasons. [T-NRV] * Kaworu Nagisa says, "On that note, the nurse is here, so I must take my leave for now. Until the next time we speak..."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
The night is warm on Tanabata, but inside Kaworu's hospital room, it's cool from the air conditioning. Insects aren't abundant in Tokyo-3--not the ones that humans find charming, anyway--so there's no crickets chirping, no fireflies glowing. One couldn't really see or hear them from here anyway, not with the window locked and reinforced as it is to protect against another potential assassination attempt. Rightfully, the drapes should be shut and Kaworu tucked away safely in his bed. Right now, though, he sits upon a chair, clad in a Japanese-style hospital gown, and gazes out at the overcast skies.
In his hands, he cradles a metal wristwatch. His right hand holds it still; his left traces its edges with his fingertips. Time ticks away quietly on its moon-themed face, which was chosen as a would-be reminder to Kaworu of his old home. That isn't of especial concern to him. What makes him hold this timepiece so preciously is the fact that it was a present from Shinji.
By now, it's late. There's little in the way of visiting hours left. But there is a certain presence... Even if she's only in the area to drop something off, it's soothing to feel her nearby.
Kaworu doesn't assume she's going to come here, specifically, to his room. Even if she expressed concern for him over the NERV lines earlier, surely it's enough to know that he's alive and conscious.
He brushes the pad of his thumb along the edge of the watch's face, eyes unturning from the once-white clouds above.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Time clicks in increments defined by humanity, an eternal flow towards an end-point of ultimate peace and quiet and stasis where in time all will decay - at least, so it is said - and Rei Ayanami is out there, in these thin slices of time.
After she had spoken to the Administrator on the group-line, Rei had struggled silently in her hotel room, well illuminated for once. She had gotten up and stared at nothing in particular. She had taken a shower, which seemed to help with -- whatever it was.
After that she put in one of the three sets of clothes she had - the tank top and shorts were hanging to dry in the bathroom, so it was a school uniform - and went out. Check through the security detail wasn't that difficult, although there was a hasty assignment of someone 'loitering' to do a ridealong out to the destination. It wasn't necessary - the man in khaki with a carbine didn't even try conversation.
Rei liked him, a little, for that.
A memory came to her as she went into the hospital. (The escort didn't follow past the entrance. He will probably wait there, but with the First Child in a secured facility, he can play that horrible Spacenoid match game on his phone instead.)
Something to bring.
She detoured, into a small section of the cafeteria.
NOW,
There is a tap
tap
tap
tap
at the hospital door.
Four seconds later, the handle is tried.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
The First Child is well-known, at least. It's not difficult for her to secure authorization to visit the Administrator, and even less difficult for her to be escorted to the correct place. Kaworu senses her presence, and is comforted by it, but assumes she's here to drop something off at the front and leaves himself to his own thoughts and feelings. But that presence lingers, and draws nearer, and...
tap
tap
tap
tap.
For the first time since he returned from his physical therapy session earlier, Kaworu turns his head. "Rei Ayanami...?" he murmurs, staring at that door.
There's no need to invite her to come in; she tries the handle on her own, and will find it unlocked. (It was not unlocked a second ago. It might feel to her like it unlocks itself as she turns the handle. But surely that's impossible.) When she pushes the door open, she'll see Kaworu seated next to the window, smiling at her.
"Hi," he tells her. "It's good of you to drop by to visit, First. What brings you here, though?"
He's still assuming she's here to deliver something on someone else's behalf. That watch still rests between his hands, on his lap.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
The door does seem to unlatch as she opens it.
It's a minor wonder. It did not seem electronic. Rei is looking at the door handle when the door swings open, but she does not remain looking for long. Her attention raises upwards then, towards Kaworu.
Upright.
Good.
"Administrator," Rei replies.
He has another of his questions afterwards. Rei doesn't answer it right away. In fact, she stands right there, in the doorway, leaving it open and allowing some of the cool air to billow out as she considers it.
Her eyes come back up.
"... Captain Hebikura," Rei then says, which may seem like it's going where Kaworu thinks, except Rei follows it with, "visited me."
Another pause. This one, perhaps, slightly more purposeful.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu is unbothered when Rei doesn't respond at first, and watches her patiently as she stands in the doorway. He's likewise unbothered that she remains in between, neither in or out of the room. In fact, his smile broadens, just a millimeter or two.
Both of them exist as liminal beings, don't they...?
Finally, Rei speaks. She brings up Hebikura--says that he visited her. Kaworu nods, accepting this on its face, though it does seem an odd way of phrasing it. "You can come in, if you like," he offers, and looks back out at the lack of stars.
"It's Tanabata today," he continues then, apropos of nothing. "I learned about that some time ago. As much as I wish I could have seen the stars... it seems Orihime and Hikoboshi will remain apart yet again this time around." His tone is wistful, but... at the same time, accepting. It would be easy to be upset or bitter or to hold a grudge, but he does none of these things.
Instead, he looks back at Rei, smile softened. "Did you wish for anything?" he wonders.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
At the invitation, Rei crosses the threshold.
"Yes," Rei says.
About coming in? Tanabata? It's hard to say. She waits there, still holding the box.
Rei glances towards the side of the hotel room, away from Kaworu, still holding that enigmatic box. It does, at least, not seem *perilous* - but she walks forwards, finding a scrap of flat surface and setting the box down.
It sits there.
Rei looks towards the same window that Kaworu looked through, and then she folds her arms.
"... Captain Hebikura asked me what I wanted," Rei says. "I could not answer him. I told him I would report back when there was more information."
Rei rests a hand on top of the box.
"Are you allowed food?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Yes to either. It's all right either way.
Kaworu isn't watching as Rei finds a patch of space for that box--the most convenient place is an end table next to his bed, where his smartphone and a half-empty glass of water currently rest--which means she needs only turn to look out the window with him once she's done.
Which also means that they stand/sit next to each other as she speaks. Kaworu watches her. He drifts further away from understanding.
"Is that so," he thus replies. "Why did he ask you that?" He isn't against encouraging Rei to think of what her desires are--far from it--but what does that have to do with him?
He turns his gaze towards the box. "Yes," he replies. He hesitates a second; then he looks back at her. "...Did Captain Hebikura have you bring that for me?" he wonders, though his tone may indicate he finds this idea dubious. Surely the Captain knows that food is unnecessary for him.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
"I don't know," Rei says, about Hebikura. "He said that he had had similar conversations with you."
When she is given an affirmative statement, Rei turns her attention to the box. She takes off the lid and begins to take things out of the box, which... is letting out wisps of visible vapor. That's not really usual for a box, although Kaworu can easily addeuce the reason: there's an ice layer in there, and there may have been some salting with dry ice for the sake of ultra-coolness.
The mists veil what Rei is doing in fine detail, much like the clouds in the sky. Rei continues her assembly. "He did not," Rei says.
She sets it down - on the far side of the little white box - and begins to open tiny hand-sealed cellophane packets. "He said that you were in a hurry." Something is being arranged.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Did he?" Kaworu says, tone and expression turning to one of mild surprise. He raises his gaze to somewhere on the ceiling, contemplative; then, slowly, he nods once. A conversation about desires... He hadn't seen it that way, but then, framed this way, Kaworu can see why Hebikura might have seen it differently.
After all, his take is that the Earth is something that can be held in one hand. Even then, Kaworu had acknowledged his admiration for Hebikura's greediness.
In a hurry, though...? Kaworu contemplates this too. That's probably a matter of misunderstanding, but... he drops his gaze to his lap and caresses the wristwatch there with his thumb. "...Perhaps back then, I was," he says softly. "But there's no more need for that now."
A pause. He looks over at the box as it exudes clouds of frost. Rei's hands are veiled, but he can see her building something... It sparks his curiosity, but he doesn't ask her what she's doing. He'll see the end result soon enough.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei is doing something complex. Her hands are moving with small and precise motions. Her posture suggests focus even if she can speak clearly, and with thought.
"He said that I waited," Rei says.
"To skip past moments, by asking your ultimate question first," Rei says.
More cryptic little passes.
"To skip past moments, by choosing to do nothing, and waiting," Rei says.
A pause.
Another, singular, specific motion.
"... I wanted to come to see you," Rei says.
Rei turns now, and the veils of mist and mystery are parted to reveal a small plastic dish of somen noodles. It had been set into the lid of the container, which must have held the little meal kit. Pieces of ginger, cut into somewhat questionable star shapes (but perhaps all the more beautiful, both for their imperfection and the suggestion of a star) are spread out across the two white swells of noodles. A little crushed ice, this clearly all water from its already-melting state, snuggles up against the top of the noodles.
The tsuyu is shallow and in an integrated little compartment. Rei is holding a pair of bamboo chopsticks with a Van Gogh's Starry-Sky motif on the paper wrapper in the crook of her right hand, part of the offering.
"I did have a question," Rei says, with a subtle air of confession, even as she looks aside.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"..."
To skip past moments by asking one's ultimate question first... To skip past moments by choosing to do nothing, and waiting. Kaworu averts his eyes. Yes, put like that, he sees (believes he sees) the point Hebikura was trying to make. He can't particularly say he understands the Illusion Demon--Lilim are difficult enough, and Hebikura merely imitates one on its surface--but he'd thought they had an understanding.
Perhaps they have too much of one.
He clutches the watch tighter...
'...I wanted to come see you.'
He blinks up at her, startled. "Eh?"
She turns and shows him her tiny project: a plastic dish of somen noodles, with imperfect stars of ginger, topped with crushed eyes, and a little side of tsuyu. Kaworu stares down at it and up at her in open confusion. It melts rapidly into a smile of gratitude, but specks of puzzlement remain even so.
His hands leave the wristwatch to rise up, slow and a little hesitant, to accept the offering, chopsticks included. He doesn't eat immediately, though. Instead, he rests it down on his lap, gaze lowered to it and the timepiece until Rei speaks again.
"Yes?" he prompts, chin rising again.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
It is a moment of mystery; something, perhaps, that hasn't ever happened before.
Not the part where Rei sounds uncomfortable - almost *guilty* - that's probably not frequent but not completely novel. Now that her hands are free, Rei lets one arm hang slack and puts the opposing hand on its bicep.
"... What you gave me is safe, but what Ikari gave me is not," Rei says.
"It was a set. Book, and pen. I have the book; the pen is gone."
Rei looks back towards Kaworu.
"... is it alright to write in that book, with other pens?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
A set. A book and a pen. The book remains; the pen is gone.
Kaworu's smile turns wistful, even as it remains gentle.
"I see. It's unfortunate that the pen was lost. However, I don't think Shinji would want you to abandon the book simply because the pen was lost." He nods once. "In short, it's all right to write in that book with other pens."
For a moment, it seems that's it. He gazes back down at the meal she brought him, but does not yet partake. There's something distant in his expression, even as he focuses on it.
"Rei Ayanami," he says softly. "May I confess a secret to you?"
And when she expresses consent:
"I don't need to eat."
A long moment follows after that. Presently, he raises his head, though he looks neither out the window nor at Rei herself. "It's not that I can't eat," he clarifies quietly. "But if I were to choose not to eat for a month, I would be as healthy at the end of it as I were at the beginning. For me, eating is completely optional. Unlike Lilim, it is unnecessary for my survival."
Another pause.
Then, at last, he withdraws the chopsticks from the Starry Night-themed paper, cracks them apart with perfect evenness, and begins to partake of the somen.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei dips her head once, in acknowledgement. It seems, obscurely, to be a relief to her; her shoulders seem a little straighter afterwards. It is hard to say such things for sure, of course. But you can read signs and trends.
But then there's a secret.
"Yes," Rei says. It seems only right.
Kaworu confesses something.
Rei's eyes widen, and a little tension comes to her lips, but she does not exclaim, or shout. Her posture, having not unfolded from that rather abject posture, moves towards a loose folding of the arms. He elaborates.
'Unlike Lilim.'
Rei doesn't answer.
Not like others.
A human who did not eat for a month would suffer. Weaken. And die.
Perhaps a fat human would survive.
I would die.
I would die?
I would die.
The somen is made by amateurs, doubtless some relief agency selling little festival dishes for the patients here and encouraging individuals to donate for the trouble. It's not impossible they would have given Rei the little somen kit for free if she had had no money. Perhaps she didn't have any money; stranger things have happened, after all. Just ask Akane Shinjo.
But it was made with heart, and for a compassionate reason. Even if it's a chill and humidity-controlled place where it is eaten.
Captain Hebikura alluded to it.
A warrior from another planet.
Rei brings one hand up to squeeze slightly at her left shoulder. Around where she was injured.
Is the Administrator from that planet?
Who is he?
Who are they?
What is he?
What am I?
What do they want?
Why are they kind?
"Then," Rei says, quietly, more quietly than usual even for her, "why do you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu confesses one of his many secrets. Rei expresses muted surprise. He doesn't comment upon it, just as he doesn't her many silences. He simply leaves her time to think things through as he slowly, thoughtfully eats.
Even though they both now know he doesn't need to.
"I usually don't. Left alone, I dispense with such unnecessities," he replies, lifting a small clump of ultra-thin noodles and dipping them in their sauce. They have a pleasant flavor--even more so for having been made with heart, for heartful reasons. It makes it enjoyable. Perhaps that's one reason why he eats anyway, just as he does just now. But he knows it's not really that.
"For Lilim, food *is* a necessity. Watching you and Shinji, and how the two of you make food for others, it's struck me that bringing food to someone is a way of wishing for their good health," he says once he swallows... but then he trails off.
It's a way of wishing for someone's good health. That's true. That's related. But that isn't why *he* eats.
"No... It's not that," he says aloud, echoing that thought. "That's why I've started to learn how to cook. But it's not why I eat.
"Eating food... lets me feel as though I'm human."
He looks over at Rei. "It lets me feel closer to the denizens of this world."
It lets me forget that I don't belong.
He pauses. His eyes flicker, resting on where she squeezes her shoulder. "...Have I upset you?" he wonders, quieter than before.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei listens. She is experienced at occupying silences, and at waiting, even if a certain man thought that it might be a way of avoiding life. Sometimes, of course, he's right, but nobody's perfect.
Learning to cook?
The air conditioning hums.
As though he is human.
Closer to the denizens of this world.
Then--
There is another of those sensations in the back of Rei's mind, the great passage of ship or Evangelion or train. She feels herself shiver. Kaworu looks to her - speaks.
There is a fleeting moment in Rei's heart, beyond words, where she feels a certain sense of fear. The sensation is alien and sharp, like a piece of glass slashing across the thumb. A memory of something else. The hand that squeezed her own shoulder stops moving. Her neck tenses. Her jaw tightens.
Her eyes shut.
and--
'Victory' goes to those with 'Courage,'
The glass is taken away and the wound is bound and Rei says, "It's surprising."
This is where I should show 'courage'.
To tell the lies that men and women tell each other.
Rei's hand comes off her shoulder. There is a little effort in the initial unclasping, but the end of the motion is smooth, unhurried.
Rei's head turns towards Kaworu.
"Food is valuable," Rei says. "Every human needs it to survive. There is only so much, and poorly distributed. In their gossamer hourglasses, the Coordinators starve." A second passes.
"I didn't want to give you something you didn't want," Rei concludes.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu watches as Rei processes. The unspoken answer to his question seems to be 'yes.' The tension, the tightening, the shiver, the way she stops looking at him. She fears him.
It's painful to see. She is like him. But as she is now, she's also different from him. Those differences seem to cause a rift between them...
But then she speaks. She removes her hand from her neck, difficult at first, but then smooth. He listens in return. He gazes down at the somen.
His gaze shifts from it to the wristwatch.
"Being unneeded is not the same as being unwanted," he says slowly. Perhaps relevatory. He picks up the watch with his free hand and holds it out to her for her to see. If she reaches out to accept it, he'll let her take it; otherwise, he sets it back down on his lap after a moment. "This is a gift Shinji gave to me some time ago. I have no need for a timepiece. I have other ways of tracking the passage of time as needed. But I treasure it anyway--because it came from him."
He gives her a moment to let that sink in.
Then he goes back to eating, quietly. There he might leave it... until he takes the opposite ends of the chopsticks, picks up a clump of noodles with them, holds his weak hand underneath to catch any that fall, and holds it out to Rei.
"You still need to eat," he says quietly. Watching her closely. "So, if you still wish to stay here... perhaps we could share?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Fear, perhaps. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something that happened. A time when she said something she had seen and something horrible happened. It only takes once to leave a mark, even if they're not all visible.
But...
'Being unneeded is not the same as being unwanted,' Kaworu says, and this makes another mark that Rei Ayanami does not notice now. Perhaps in six months or in two years it will be felt.
For now, it is a statement of thought. Rei reaches out to gently take the watch, looking at it, stroking over it with her thumb, thinking wordless thoughts, and then - reverently - handing it back.
'You still need to eat.'
Rei's eyes come down then at the proffering. She looks startled, again; though it is subtly different now, simple and pure surprise rather than surprise with that mixture of - fear? revelation? - that she had shown a moment ago.
What Kaworu is doing is gazed at for two, three, almost four seconds as if Rei is trying to understand it, and then she leans forwards, dipping her head not-terribly-far in order to open her mouth and take the somen into it. She reaches up with one hand to push back the right side of her hair, which threatened to fall forwards.
Afterwards, of course, she's quiet for a different reason entirely. One doesn't speak with their mouth full.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
They are powerful words--powerful to Kaworu, too, even though he's the one who said them. Being unneeded is not the same as being unwanted... When he accepts his watch back, he gives it a small, fond smile.
Perhaps there's hope for this time around, still. Even so, it's as Akane said: they aren't ready for each other yet. He'll leave it to Shinji to decide what sort of relationship they have for now.
For now... for now, before him is Rei Ayanami. It's been a very long time since they had any sort of relationship; this might be the first time since the fundamental shape of the world changed, even. She came here because she wanted to see him; she brought him food because of a caring for him. But will that change now that she knows a little more about his true nature?
...She accepts the food he offers her back. Fondness warms his smile, and he pulls the chopsticks back and around.
"...Thank you," he murmurs. "I'm happy you wanted to come to see me. I hope..." He hesitates a hair. "...you still want that." A beat. "But if you do not... I understand." He drops his gaze; picks up a clump of noodles, dips them. "I won't keep you, or anyone, where you don't want to be."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei lets the cold, wet noodles and their yuzu-rich sauce roll around her tongue. She shifts her teeth, casually destroying a star without even trying. A few moments later, with the galaxy on her tongue, she swallows.
Her eyes are soft even if her mouth is neutral.
"I do," Rei says. -- but then she turns away?
Ah - it is only to pick up the other chair, set off to the side, and bring it over, in which thence to seat herself.
"I suppose I will have two items to report to Captain Hebikura," Rei says, after she has settled long enough for stillness to reassert itself.
The Administrator would be the Administrator who survived the attack.
I think that I understand that.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Two items to report. Kaworu's smile returns, just as Rei returns with a chair with which to sit with him. "I'd like to hear more about it, too," he tells her.
For now, though, he eats another bite of the somen--turn by turn, alternating with Rei until the strands of a tiny galaxy are all gone. And even once they are... more float above them, past the obscuring clouds.
He's never been this close to Rei before... He told Hebikura before that the world must be carried in two hands, that one most sacrifice something to keep it safe. Hebikura hadn't agreed, but that isn't what's important. Perhaps in losing closeness with Shinji... he's gained it with Rei in turn?
It's a thought as exciting as it is reassuring. And Kaworu will treasure her company as long as she sees fit to share it.