2022-08-29: A Memory I Don't Recognize
- Log: 2022-08-29: A Memory I Don't Recognize
- Cast: Akane Shinjo NPCing Ramo Marusa, Sayla Mass
- Where: Tsutsujidai - Yumi Foundation Office
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-08-29
- Summary: Something doesn't quite return to normal the day after the Deculture Festival kaiju attacks.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Monday evening.
Marusan arrives at the office building that she's been helping set up. At first glance, it seems like she might be back to the exhaustion. Looking a little closer, though, it'd be apparent she's less exhausted and more nervous; she's blowing off summer homework -- still not quite finished -- to come in and work, which is usually a sign.
She's the first one in the office, in fact -- and while it's still a pretty sparse office since they haven't had time to do the literal heavy lifting Leina suggested, she's set up on the floor with a clunky, suitcase-style portable computer sorting through documents.
EARLIER
"I'm glad everything's still set up... I'd have been pretty unhappy if we didn't get a second run at our routine," Marusan -- sweaty, danced out, and happy -- says to a few of the girls from 2-D. "I wasn't at my best yesterday after the kaiju attack... I feel like I nailed it this time."
"Kaiju attack?"
"Oh, I think she's talking about someone pulling the fire alarm. At least everyone was already outside... it was kind of a drag that they had us evacuate across the street, though."
"... Uuuh..."
PRESENT, AGAIN
"... I really hope someone else comes in," she mumbles to herself, looking over a grant application form. She's firmly at 'yep, that sure looks like a grant application form.' Her brain is cooked.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla Mass had not intended to be here today. But when she got word of what happened, well...
Tsutsujidai, by and large, had recovered already. That much was obvious. But now she was waiting for word from Renais, or Mamoru. Guy's an evoluder now, not a cyborg held together by willpower alone. But she still can't help.
There are people she can help, though. And she can tell pretty quickly that they're not still at school, and she won't be going home, so...
There's a knock at the office door, which opens to reveal none other than Sayla. She has a reasonably gentle smile on her face. "Ah, Miss Marusa. I was hoping I'd find you here." She pauses and looks around. Emptier than she expected, but-
"Let me guess, Leina figured you could both do the moving yourself instead of hiring movers, right?" For a guess, but it's an educated one. But it's all about easing into the conversation, getting Marusan comfortable.
The approach Sayla goes with when something's up, and she can tell things aren't all okay. "Talking to your boss still counts as work, by the way." Sayla folds up her coat and takes a seat on it, a little relaxed. "And is not going to get AEU-OSHA on my back for not providing what you need."
She gives a little time to respond, then... "I take it things aren't going great right now, given you're working in an unfinished office." She'll let Marusan define what sort of not great- There are too many options to choose from.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
There's a little bit of relief on Marusan's face, though she's still obviously troubled by something. "Oh -- yeah, she wanted to make a party of it. She's inviting some people -- I mean, we are." She tilts her laptop away from herself for a moment as she turns to more fully orient on Sayla.
"... My head's a mess. I think I need to talk through it with someone." She takes a moment to figure out how much she should say. ... the school wouldn't listen, last time -- but Sayla isn't with the school, and this is bigger than it was then. ... and, if she's got the right idea, she's not going to call Akane's guardian and back off at the first place it stops, either.
"There was a kaiju attack yesterday... Leina warned me. I almost... forgot, somehow? Though maybe it just didn't feel that important when I woke up...?" Her brow furrows. "But I remembered Leina warning me, and then it kinda... it was like it all came together. But when I got back to school -- everything was fixed, and no one else remembered... not even Ako." She glances down.
The second part of this is harder, somehow. She doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want to think about it. "... I noticed a lot of stuff yesterday, after that. People who came back to school a little banged up. ... People who didn't show up to school in the first place." Taking a slightly shuddering breath, she says, "I had fun yesterday... and I had fun today, too. I could keep it out of my head for a bit. But once the festival closed up for today, I started... really processing it, and it's..."
Not quite yet. Another little bit of not putting it out there for Miss Mass to hear. A different lead-in, maybe. For now, she quiets down.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"That sounds like her," Sayla says with a minor grin on her face. "She's very good about pulling in the community." She nods when Marusan says she needs to talk, and sets up to listen. Sayla's face turns to concern quite quickly, but she listens. Lets her get it out. "...That Kaiju attack really happened." Sayla says quietly, to reassure Marusan. "And you listening to Leina saved a lot of people, but it's also why you can remember now. This isn't the first time it's happened to Tsutsujidai, either. These Kaiju attacks have been happening for at least the past eight months, and something's stopping you remembering."
Sayla stands up, looking to the window, and offers the student a hand. "Ramo," Sayla uses her first name to lower the barriers. "There's going to be a lot to take in, and it's going to be rough. You're not going to be able forget what you've rememembered now. And there's a chance you're going to remember more." Her tone is... firm but not hard. There is slight worry in her voice. How she'll react.
"I want you to to come over to the window with me. Keep calm and tell me what you see. That might explain the why at least." Sayla's looking at something not far in the distance, eyes boring into it.
One of the Venora.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Something's been... stopping her? Eight months? Maybe longer? That's --
Slowly pulling herself back off the floor, Marusan nods a little dazedly, accepting the hand up. "... There's a little more, but... window first. I could kind of use the fresh air, anyway."
She moves with Sayla, and says, "... A kaiju," doing her best to keep calm. If Sayla's calm, why shouldn't she be? "... That's why everyone forgets, then," comes her answer -- connecting the dots, bit by bit.
Taking a long breath in, Ramo looks to Sayla. "I know Anti's staying with you, too. Leina accidentally sent me a picture." She tries to muddle through that. Connecting every piece. Each one affirms the one before it. And the shape they make taken together is --
"It's Akane. Either her guardian is making her make the kaiju to hurt her, or he's taking Anti hostage over it, or --" Best to cut the speculation out there. "Trying to figure it out is pointless. That's why she didn't want to tell me what was going on -- why she made me promise to keep her secrets. It's because she's involved somehow. She... didn't show up to the Festival yesterday or today."
Marusan turns to Sayla, her brown-black hair shining in the light of Tsutsujidai's angry artificial sunlight. "I -- wish she would have told me," she says, choking up. "I knew she was getting weirder and weirder, and when I saw Anti was living with you I thought it might be getting worse at home, but --"
The situation is enormous -- even trying to wrap her head around its full extent is too hard for Marusan. It's time to settle, then, for: Turning and burying her face in Sayla's shoulder and crying. It's been a long time coming, honestly -- even without this, it was inevitable she'd need a cry once she stopped packing something into every waking second. But this... this is so much bigger than she could have imagined.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Quietly, Sayla puts an arm around Marusan's shoulders, letting her cry it out. It's easier, working it out slowly, but Ramo put it together so damn quickly. Sayla was right about her- Ramo's smart and she can read between the lines. And that's the problem right now, as it comes together so damn quickly. "...Yeah. It is."
This is something they're going to have to be extremely careful with. It might have been inevitable... but now Ramo's in an incredibly unenviable position. Being the only one who knows. "We all do." Sayla says, unmoving. "But she can't." She's very quiet, wondering what to say. "She's done some things that there's no coming back from but she's a victim too." Sayla seems hesitant to say it, but she needs to. "Most of the people who remember aren't from here. Me, Leina... But some of the locals do too."
Sayla looks down. "I hadn't expected this to happen when I reached out to you. I'm sorry you had to discover this all at once." How the hell do you proceed from here...?
"Is there somewhere you want me to start?" Provide control, but limit the options. Make the choice one that someone overwhelmed can handle. "Or would you like me to get something to drink brought in first?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Ramo's a sharp kid, and now that she's not overstimulated, it's gotta go somewhere. And all told, with even one thread to pull... Marusan has a lot of threads to pull. She sniffles, then blinks a few times, then swallows.
'She's done some things there's no coming back from.' Marusan... doesn't want to believe that, but...
"... sorry, Miss Mass. I can't really -- even if they could know, this isn't something I could talk to my parents about." ... but she has Sayla, at least, and right now she's very thankful for that. She puts aside thoughts of locals remembering this now. "I -- I could use something to drink. A chocolate shake. And... just quiet, until then."
Assuming Sayla can agree to that... well, Marusan gets quiet. It's not until she indeed has a shake and a couple sips of it that she speaks up again. "... I feel so stupid. I always knew something was wrong at home for her, and she always knew something was wrong at home for me, but... I thought that was what made us friends. That we could talk to each other without touching... all that. But I guess that's why you wanted me to hang out with her, right? So she had something else to do besides... get angry and --" break things. hurt people. ... actually saying it is a little much.
"I feel like... we screwed up. Her, me, Ako-chan..." So many things they could have done besides let each other fester like this. "I was just... too overwhelmed with everything going on in my own life to, to. to." She takes a long sip of her drink, and says, "Please don't -- let this get her killed. I know there's probably... people who would say it was what she deserved."
Her gaze plummets into her shake. "I think I'd never stop wondering if I could have done something different."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"It's okay." Sayla says, pulling up a local delivery app. "I'll get it." She makes it a large. It's gonna be one of those conversations.
-----
Until Ramo speaks again, Sayla is just there, being a presence. Sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, her own coffee now drained. She nods to confiorm Marusan's suspicions. "I was hoping that it would help keep her from closing herself off. But I underestimated how long her guardian had his claws in."
And then the fears start coming out, and Sayla can feel them as strong as she can hear them. They resonate with something deep in herself.
Despite everything that happened, a part of her still wanted him back after all.
"Ramo, I'm going to do all I can to save Akane. And I'm not the only one." The dead can't make amends. The dead can't fix their mistakes. "...And I'd be lying if I said I didn't think you were already planning to do the same."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
It's hard to say if Marusan feels that feeling reflecting between herself and Sayla... but there's something about the trust she feels in Sayla's resolve that couldn't just come from her words. She leans forward from the wall a bit, then slumps back into it again.
"I don't feel like I can do anything," she admits. "I just... I mean, I could kinda tell something was up. Ako and I were talking about Akane's new outfit, and she said it was... like she was trying to cosplay a bad guy, or something." Ako, of course, knows a few things about engineering the way people see you out of an outfit. "Ha... so much for cosplay, I guess."
She looks to Sayla, admitting, "I... think it's getting worse there. Without Anti there... I -- I'm not saying he should go back and get hurt again. I saw the bandages in that one picture." Did... Akane do that...? "But... without him there, there's... no one else for that stuff to fall on."
Marusan sets down her shake, and hugs her knees a bit. "In the face of something like that... it feels like 'everything I can do' is 'nothing.'"
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla takes a few moments to think on how to respond, how to get through. "...I think Akane's feelings of helplessness were what drew that being's attention." Sayla realizes she's not using Alexis' name. Would Marusan be safer knowing? It would be an instant giveaway to Akane if she did. But if Marusan is like Yuta and Rikka...
"I'm not convinced it's anything but a costume. She's been playing a part the whole time I've known her." Sayla sighs. "She's not a very good liar, truth be told, but she thinks no one sees how bad thing are- and had the Venora to help her hide it." Sayla looks up at the ceiling.
"I think you're right. But I'm not sending Anti back to his abusers." Plural. "But I think this puts you in a unique position, if one that is potentially dangerous." Sayla turns to Marusan. "You've already shown you can help stop Akane doing something she regrets."
Sayla moves to put a hand on Ramo's shoulder, if she'll let her. "You saved a lot of people with that evacuation. You have knowledge of Akane's moods and you know her patterns better than anyone else. If I tell you when those Kaiju attacks were, and you can remember what she was like... maybe you'll be able to see them coming." Sayla knows this is a lot. "The other thing you can do is refuse to let her push you away." She pauses in memory.
The one who was powerless to prevent this from happening. Who has hidden in... this place, waiting and hoping.
"...There's someone at school who can help you, even if he might be reluctant. Mr Todo, the maths teacher. He'll listen if you tell him I sent you, and can give you some weight if you're getting people out. And if he seems reluctant... Just ask him what his brother would do." Sayla's got a slightly mean smirk on her face. "Does that sound like something you can do?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Being?" Marusan looks genuinely startled. "Is Akane's guardian..." She looks a little baffled for a second -- but, again: Marusan's a smart kid. She can put things together. "Ohhhh, this is so much worse than I thought it was." They're dealing with some kind of... alien? Monster?
Ramo leans into the hand. "I -- wouldn't ask you to. It's not... any better if he's the one getting hurt. And -- I think you're kinda overselling me, here." That gets her to laugh a little. "We're friends, but... I've been kinda distracted for a long time. Ako's better at spotting her usual rhythm than I am..." ... then again, she can rely on her for that. It's not like she has to do this alone -- indeed, from the sound of things, 'trying to do things alone' is how this got this bad.
"Okay. I... I can talk to Mr. Todo. I like him... he's a little more lively than a lot of the other teachers, too..." The other thing, though -- about the kaiju attacks... that gets her attention.
"Hrmm... we can do that, but I've got some guesses myself. If the other students thought this was just a fire alarm prank, then... then stuff like that is really --" Her eyes widen, all at once.
"The concert. That... was one, wasn't it? I remember there being a weird long intermission because the electronic equipment got rained on, but..." Her eyes widen, slowly. "Nngh..." ... there's something she's working her way to voicing... but admitting it...
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"...Yeah." She pauses. "I know you can keep secrets, Ramo, but if I tell you more... that's dangerous information for you to have." Sayla takes a few moments. "...but I'll tell you if you'd rather know. I don't want you doing this blind, either." Marusan's way too quick on the uptake for it to be worth hiding things now.
Sayla shakes her head. "Ramo, it took you less than five minutes to put together what took us six months. You managed to pull off an evacuation with a warning you nearly forgot, and an uncooperative environment." Sayla's praise is genuine. "I didn't hire you because of what you've just shown, but right now you've scored a personal recommendation for whatever you want to do after this is over." It's a weird way to frame it, but...
Sayla nods. "...It was. You were there?" It takes Sayla a moment to realize. "What's wrong?" Concern is writ on her face. Something's come to mind and it's not good.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
How much is Marusan willing to know? How much is safe for her to know? "... I don't need to know his name, or what he is. Honestly, that might make me worse at this part. If I'm thinking about him... I'm not thinking about her."
She can't stay away from the topic for long, though. "... Akane... texted me during the concert. She was dancing, and I kinda lost track of her for a bit... she told me she needed me to come over and take her to get food or something. Then I looked over, and I saw a guy hover-handing her and looking at her phone... she never asks for help but I could kinda read between the lines?" Her eyes shut, and her lips purse. Eventually, she remembers she has a shake, and takes a drink.
"Then she left, and... then we got rained out for a couple hours. But I guess we didn't really get rained out... and..." Breathing out, she affirms: "When Ako ran into Anti, he apparently said he was at the concert too... that she was counting on him for something. That he let her down. And I guess... since we all dropped the ball... she felt like she had no other choice except for... another kaiju attack."
Her eyes turn down toward her shake again. "No wonder she feels like she can't count on other people to help her. She can't count on other people to help her."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla's expression is inscrutable for a few moments. How things go from here depend a lot on her words.
"That's bullshit, and you know it."
It's a verbal slap across the face. "It's not that she can't count on people to help, it's that her abuser has made it so she can't even ask. He's preyed upon her insecurities past, and manipulated her. You can't take the blame for that. What you can do is ask yourself what you're going to do now, now that you know, and then damn well do it. If you just accept the narrative he's forced on her, on this town, then you can't help her." Sayla's words are forceful, passionate, and there's an anger behind them, but she turns that anger away from Marusan as she speaks.
"I'm not going to say you can't bear guilt, but I won't let you wallow in it. You're not powerless, Ramo Marusa- right now you have an edge and knowledge that no one else in Tsutsujidai has. What are you going to do with it?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Marusan startles; the edge in Sayla's voice catches something in her head. "You're right. If she felt like she could have asked -- I would have moved a lot faster. I could've cut in. I'm not..." Breathing out, she affirms, "I'm not responsible for the parts of that I didn't know."
She swallows once. "Okay. Thinking about that... can you give me the days you know there were kaiju attacks here? I'll try to remember how Akane was doing."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
It seems to have had the desired effect of snapping Marusan out of her worrying. Sayla nods. "January 21st, February 20th, March 30th, May 10th, July 15th and 17th are all the Kaiju attacks." She pauses momentarily. "But there was something else on April 18th that she was involved in, too. Things are a little complicated there, but there was something like a kaiju involved."
Sayla's watching Marusan now, seeing how she reacts.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Ramo works her way through it. "January... that's a little too far back for me. But... I remember a little bit after that... right around Valentine's, she skipped a bunch of class. Then... that was the trip to the mountains over spring break, where we invited most of the class. I remember them kicking us out early for a controlled burn... but I guess that would've been a kaiju. Akane was actually really up around then? She spent all month working on an art project --"
-- right. Another kaiju. Marusan connects the model to the kaiju more fully, then to Akane's modeling projects. "Oh, she makes them with clay and stuff... okay. That means she worked on that one for a while, and she was kinda excited to do it. She actually seemed really good after that for a while, too. Not... perfect? But like... she was excited, she was inviting people out. She started cooking again, too? She did that a little after she first moved here, then kinda fell off and just started buying people instant crap and not even eating it herself... her miso soup is so next level."
Thinking, she says, "Then from there it's pretty downhill. She skipped class for a week after the concert." That's after Sayla intervened with Anti for the first time -- easy to place. "Then she was... actually better, for a bit. She was hanging out with people... you know, really animated. It felt like she was turning a corner for like... a month, there?"
This is deeply important and Marusan knows it is. She tries to wring every detail out of her brain before it gets away. "But right around when we first met... it got bad again. Then it got really bad. She wasn't... miserable, but it seemed like... she was pretty ready to blame herself for anything that came up."
... right after the attacks by her kaiju in the real world -- the ones most of the Gridman Alliance's allies know were something she was somehow unaware of.
"Then right after the middle of last month was when she started getting... really weird," she finishes, "so that lines up, too."
She hasn't actually started rubbing facts together -- though she's doing that now. She just needed to get it all out, first.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla pulls a notepad from her bag, and starts writing- sometimes old methods are a more sensible approach. Especially here. "Valentine's day lines up... she moved here right after Valentine's day a year ago, right?" Confirm what she knows as she goes.
"...Yeah. When you mentioned that art project... That's when I finally put it together." Sayla thinks back to that sad little apartment, with nothing more than a miso soup and a tomato juice left for a meal.
Sayla's expression darkens slightly, and she turns her head away from Marusan. There was a chance ther-
"Wait, right when we met?" Sayla does the math in her head, flips back to the calendar on the back of the cover. "Son of a bitch... THAT'S why Shiro was attacked?" Sayla catches herself too late, but this is too useful to stop. "...It adds up. He was making enemies for her... enemies that none of you would be aware of, but would drive her into his arms... That's why he went after Anti, too..."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"That sounds right. We only met in high school, but she said she moved here a couple months ago when we did." So that confirms that much, at least. She listens to Sayla working through it, and cants her head. She doesn't have the data, at first -- but she catches up quickly.
"I just don't get it. Why would he want her to have all these enemies...?" She drains the rest of her shake, finally. The chocolate and sugar is a win, in a situation like this.
"I'm glad that helped," she says. "I feel a lot better. Even if I can only do that much... it sounds like it mattered to you." Thinking forward a little, she asks, "... are you, like, okay with the idea of her helping us move into this building? Do you think it's risky, or it'll make her worse?"
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"...Because he wants her unable to receive help from anyone else. He wants her to have to rely on him, no matter how unhappy she is." Sayla says, thinking out loud. "It's a typical abuser tactic. I just don't understand what he gets out of it." Sayla shakes her head. "...I'll work it out. You've been a huge help, Ramo."
Sayla takes a deep breath, as she thinks this through. "Honestly, I think more than anything, it's important to keep including her. If he wants to isolate, then show her that's she still wanted. Don't let her push her you away... that's what he wants. You focus on her. I can arrange someone to keep an eye on things. I'll talk to Leina too."
She closes the notebook. "...How are you holding up?" Sayla looks to Marusan- it's... a lot to take in. And Sayla knows she hasn't given her much of a choice. "Will you be okay? Do you need an excuse to get away tonight?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"... Wow. That's..." It's a little chilling to think about. Ramo knows she could've fallen for that, too.
But that rabbit hole is too deep even for her active brain right now. "Thanks, Miss Mass. I'll do my best." ... She's at risk if she makes it known that she's trying to manipulate Akane, even if it's for her own sake. But... she can be her friend. She can do that much.
The question of an excuse to get away gets her to consider for a few moments. "I'm holding up okay, but... I could use a night away from home. ... probably not alone, either. I know we moved a couple futons and a sleeping bag in here when we were doing the basics... do you mind if I invite Ako over and we sleep over?"
Considering her options, she adds, "... I'm not gonna tell her yet. But... I owe her some help with summer homework." Maybe they owe each other a little more than that, too.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
"Thank you. I'm counting on you." Sayla gives what she hopes is a supportive smile. "If there's an emergency or if you're in trouble, and you can't reach me or Leina..." She scribbles a phone number, and tears a page out of her notebook. "...Call this number, and tell the man who picks up that you need help, and where you are. He's a little odd, but you can count on him to to get you out of trouble."
Sayla's smile gets a bit more easy after that. She was thinking she'd put them up in a hotel room, but this is easier. "Sure." She reaches into her bag, and pulls out a prepaid credit card- a local one- and hands it to Marusan. It is, notably, lacking any Yumi Foundation markings. "Get whatever you need, this should cover it. Don't worry about tracking expenses or anything, I'll deal with the paperwork."
She gives Marusan's shoulder one last squeeze. "Thank you, Ramo. We'll get her out of this." Sayla starts to stand, and walk out. "I hope the two of you have a good sleepover. Just let me know if you need more."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Marusan accepts the phone number -- and a moment later, the prepaid credit card. "... That's very generous, ma'am. Thank you." She wonders, for a minute, just who this mystery rescuer is; she doesn't question that he exists and he'll do what Sayla says he will, though. This woman came out the other side of the One Year War with a burning need to help others -- Marusan sees that for what it is, now.
She pulls out her phone, starting up a text.
> Ako-chan... do you mind sleeping over at Miss Mass's office tonight?
> I know it's sudden, but Miss Mass told me some things about what's going on with Akane. I'll tell you what I can... there's some other stuff I want to tell you, too.
> And... I can't be alone tonight, I think.
She sets her phone back down, calling after Sayla as she heads out, "Thank you! I'll do my best!"