2022-02-24: Until We Meet Again
- Log: Until We Meet Again
- Cast: Rei Ayanami, Kaworu Nagisa
- Where: Tokyo-3, OCU Japan
- OOC - IC Date: February 24, 0096 (2022)
- Summary: Kaworu invites himself to go grocery shopping with Rei.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
THEME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGzJOeyJgFM
Another day in the fortress city, Tokyo-3.
There were no crises and no operational missions. She was not even that injured at this point, and so Rei Ayanami went to school. She spent most of her lessons the way that she usually does: gazing out at the valley visible from her windowside seat. Watching the world through glass.
The day passed, as it always did. There was nothing exciting or remarkable about this day, or this lesson.
After school, Rei - who has never attended a club meeting - took a slightly different train home.
Not home. Shin-Yoyogi.
Rei Ayanami debarked from the train three stops before her usual destination, out in the further reaches. A stop only reached on this train, not her usual one. The station is located in a rise that could be taken for a natural shift in the contours of Tokyo-3 if you were not quite aware of the nature of the city - did not know that it was a fortification belt with a tunnel through it - and the fact that it is below ground suits Rei perfectly well.
After debarking, Rei stands on the platform for a moment, reaching into her empty bag to bring out a piece of paper. Written upon it in slightly amateurish script:
TOMATO
CHEESE (white - mozarela)
BASIL
GARLIC
OLIVE OIL
DOUGH (flour - yeast)
onion, capiscum, white mushroom-- colony ok
Rei nods slightly to herself. With that, she steps forwards, and onto the escalator that leads up, up, through the three stories of height to the sunny surface layer. The walls are painted a soothing pale grey, with several identifying signs - no advertisements.
Her delay means she is the only one on the escalator. That, too, suits her perfectly well. Her eyes tighten in anticipation of the afternoon sunlight at the top...
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's a fairly novel experience to Kaworu Nagisa to attend school at a time when there are still a reasonable number of other students around. The other times he's done so, most of them had evacuated the student, and so there were only a scant handful of other students left. He liked the intimacy of a small classroom, but there's something nice about a livelier atmosphere. There's more people to watch; more voices and more personalities to experience. A good chunk of the girls not just in his class but across the school were easier to give him presents of chocolate on an odd day of obligation a week and a half ago, which was puzzling but not untoward. Shinji had a more cynical view of the ritual, but... well, that's just his way, and a part of his charm. Kaworu doesn't think he'll ever become close with any of those girls, but it's pleasing to think that they would want to be close with him. It's... pleasant.
But he did notice that the obligation was not in any way equal. Kaworu received dozens of presents, while others received far fewer if any at all. Most girls didn't receive anything; they only gave. Almost none of the boys gave; they only received, or didn't receive, and complained about it. Even after hearing the rules of the holiday from obligation, Kaworu didn't quite understand. Not really. But Lilim have often created unequal situations for themselves throughout history and, yes, through present day, so he's simply accepted it for what it is.
For all those reasons, he frequently stays after class to talk to his classmates--or more accurately, encourage them to talk to him. It's strangely made him even more popular, but only among the girls. Many of the boys seem to resent him. He doesn't understand that, either. But that only lasts so long, since he doesn't attend any clubs either. As such, while he leaves school after most if not all of his fellow pilots, there isn't anywhere in particular for him to go.
At least, not on an unremarkable day such as today, one with no crises and no operational missions. There's always testing, but nothing of the like is scheduled for today. So Kaworu can instead focus on what *he* wants.
So he follows his senses and his memories, then goes to a certain spot to wait.
So Rei, when she rises up out of subterranean darkness into the light of day, sees a figure silhouetted in warm golden rays of sunshine, lingering like a crown on his hair...
"Hey," Kaworu says, smiling faintly from where he waits, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark double-breasted coat. A pinstriped scarf tucks around his neck as delicate white clouds of breath rise in time with his words. "The First Child, Rei Ayanami... I've been waiting for you."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
It is warm in the tunnel up. Warmth rises. So when she is near to the exit, Rei's tightened anticipation of the bright coolness is mixed with the bracing for the chill of the air. And above her -
The Fifth.
Rei emerges from the opening with its SHIN-YOYOGI sign. On reflex alone she steps forwards, over the little warning line. Her expression is blank -- a completely honest and startled blank, Kaworu might be able to estimate.
The paper in her hand rustles.
Waiting for me.
Rei blinks once.
Yes. This is not my usual route. There would be concern.
Her arms interlace, folding together, the piece of paper gently indented to rest against the flesh of her palm and thumb to protect it from the wind.
The lack of reply is getting a little noticeable at this point.
Rei shifts herself, body tensing beneath the seashore-blue zip-up sweater. Gray leggings and the vaunted power of H*ATTECH are not enough to fully ward off the chill. Her face tenses for a moment; strain, stress.
Then she speaks: "Ah."
"... Why are you waiting for me?"
Her eyes turn towards the left, down the road. There is a shopping arcade in that direction. All sorts of little things, and a greengrocer's to go with it.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Rei sees him, and she startles, and Kaworu's smile deepens. He can't help it; it's such a familiar gesture. Incomplete as she is at this point in the scenario, it's nice to see that some things don't change. For all that it *would* be logical that he's here because there is concern over her unusual stop, that smile of his is genuine and unconcerned. ...though whether Rei would be able to *tell* that is another story.
He also doesn't mind that she just stands there and stares at him for a smile. Kaworu simply waits patiently, ever-smiling, until she moves, until she emotes, until she speaks.
They're not particularly pleased micro-expressions. That, too, is familiar. His smile turns a touch rueful, but it doesn't abate.
"Because I wanted to see you," he tells her, direct and plain and honest. All the same, it probably explains nothing. He doesn't offer anything more nuanced or complicated than that, either. Isn't the desire to see someone, in and of itself, enough?
Though he does at least add, "Don't worry; I don't need you to converse. I don't need to converse with you, either, though I'd like it if you'd allow me to. I simply wanted to spend some time in your company." He pauses a beat, following her gaze towards the shopping arcade. Then he looks back at her and adds, "Is that all right?"
His smile still doesn't abate, but it is a sincere question. If Rei told him it wasn't--well, he wouldn't simply give up. But he would take her seriously.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei stares at Kaworu for several longer seconds further.
Kaworu has eyes to see, so the fine details are apparent. If someone was within two feet of her face they would be clearer as well; the little tensions, the tightenings, the loosening. The statement is surprising, and the question is uneasy, uncomfortable. Not deeply, though; like touching something that looked dry and finding it to be wet.
The escalator rises, falls, and devours itself behind her as her hand shifts, rubbing up along her left bicep beneath the fabric of the sweater.
Rei blinks again.
Then she nods slightly, once, while meeting Kaworu's eyes, and walks towards the shopping arcade.
One of Rei's greatest talents in life, of course, is the ability to be silent at length. An eloquent, book-length silence that could fill volumes if such were to be written; a 4'33" of the soul. Rei walks the entire way to the shopping arcade (which is indeed about four minutes' walk from the station if you don't rush, and she doesn't seem to be in a hurry) and, once in the semi-enclosed area with its ambient warmth and several space heaters up and down, pauses to exhale and adjust her hair, rubbing one ear which presumably was particularly chilled.
She keeps walking. She ignores the little flea-bag arcade completely; ignores the small clothing boutique. She pauses for a moment at the door into a bakery, still open but certainly the sort of place that sells breads and pastries -- not long til they would close, because bread is like the day.
Rei checks her list. In the windless area it can easily be read.
"... Administrator," Rei says.
"Where do you purchase 'flour'?" She looks up, and towards him, as if having known full-well he was there despite not having looked his way. The word sounds foreign to her. Her eyes turn momentarily towards the bakery, as if it has committed some minor but obscure betrayal against her or potentially NERV.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Once more, Kaworu waits without a sense of hurry or unease as Rei stares at him, unspeaking, for what to any normal person would be an agonizing amount of time. Kaworu is aware--little things Shinji has said has *made* him aware--that he is in a position of power compared to his fellow pilots, and that distances him from them. In particular, when it comes to Rei Ayanami, who has been conditioned to obey orders without question, it makes any desire to spend time with her potentially questionable. It's why he asks: 'Is it all right?'
He can't actually be sure if she really is all right with it, or if she nodded because that's what she thinks he wants to hear. But he accepts the answer all the same, and--true to his word--doesn't force her to converse. On the contrary, he hums Debussy's Claire de Lune, a melody so beautiful it makes the heart ache. But a song called Moonlight is only appropriate for the First. He keeps pace with her with ease, hands still tucked in his pockets; he pauses when she pauses, walks when she walks, though he does look around in passing interest at the arcade and the boutique as they pass by.
Then they stop at the bakery. Rei holds up the piece of paper she's been holding. Kaworu pays it no mind--it's her business, after all--until she addresses him by title.
"Hm?"
'Where do you purchase "flour"?'
He blinks. His smile even fades. It looks like it's her turn to startle him. For the first time, he looks down at the slip in her hand and reads the contents therein. His expression turns thoughtful, and he looks into the bakery. "I don't know," he says honestly. "But surely a baker would." He assumes that's her line of thinking as well; why else stop here? "Shall we go inside and ask?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei recognizes Kaworu's song, or at least recognizes that it is recognizable even if she does not quite place it to anything in particular. It isn't an unpleasant sound compared to ambient traffic and wind.
She awaits her answer. The list is not held secret, although her thumb partly occludes the list of vegetables and the first character of a couple of others. Still, this isn't exactly a top-tier puzzle.
"Yes," Rei says, looking back inside. "One would."
And so she steps inside.
'Ah, welcome!' says the proprietor, a doughy man with mostly-healed scarring on his face. Probably a veteran of the Federal Forces. It's not ugly - it just stands out. You might call him "Mr. Freckles" if you wanted.
"Where do you buy flour?" Rei asks him.
He frowns, and glances towards the door - and likely also Kaworu, although without much heat. 'I get it from a distributor... what do you need it for?'
Rei turns the list around to show it to the baker.
'Looks like home baking... uhm... is it wheat or rice flour?'
Rei glances to Kaworu here, as if hoping he knows the answer. Then to the baker, she admits, "I did not write that down."
'This looks western... try "all purpose flour."'
"Where do you buy all purpose flour?" Rei repeats back.
'Oh! Uh... you can probably get a kilo or two at a grocery store. Ask someone.'
The list is handed back and Rei takes it, carefully.
'You want any bread? Half price at this hour.'
"No," Rei says, although there is a BREAD CHANCE! for Kaworu, if he is in the mood for "not at all bad but not quite oven fresh" carbotreats right now. After this Rei moves back to the arcade.
"All purpose flour," Rei repeats. "All purpose flour." She is committing it to memory.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It isn't--but Kaworu isn't here to solve puzzles. He's here to spend time with Rei. If that means wandering around a shopping center with her with no clear idea of what she's actually doing, that's fine. It seems obvious enough that she's buying ingredients, at least, and Kaworu is content to leave the what and why a mystery for the time being.
So when she walks into the bakery, he follows after her. Despite keeping both hands in his pockets, and despite being the second to walk in, he has no trouble doing so before the door shuts. He gives the proprieter a friendly smile from behind his companion. The baker seems like a decent enough fellow, willing to answer strange questions from strange children. When he and Rei glance at Kaworu, Kaworu simply shrugs. He certainly doesn't do any baking.
But the situation is resolved. "No. But thank you for your help," Kaworu replies, and at least has learned enough social graces over many, many repetitions to be grateful for someone's assistance.
All-purpose flour, from a grocery store. Kaworu can at least recognize what groceries look like, so as they head for the arcade, he looks around for a spot where groceries appear to be on sale. If he happens to spot it before she does, he'll get her direction and point in that direction.
"This seems quite important to you," he observes after she mutters the flour name to herself. It's clearly something she hasn't done before either, or she would be more informed on the matter. So: "Why?"
A task is a task, and need not be questioned too deeply. But this, he sees now, is a *purpose*. *Now* it's a mystery worth solving.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
'Have a good afternoon!' the baker wishes the two strange young people, and he resumes his everyday life for as long as it will be left to him.
Anyone might eat things. Most of the items on Rei's list are things which she has eaten or would eat. The only things that would be slightly surprising would be cheese -- simply because that one just doesn't come up very often --
And the dough.
A question is being asked. Rei looks at Kaworu. She blinks once, twice, as they pass a shuttered commercial space that is available for rent at present.
Why is this important to me?
Rei stops walking.
She looks at the list. "... The food. The food that Ikari ordered."
Rei doesn't look up from the list.
"... The 'victory dinner.' I did not attend any victory dinners previously. I was not available," blood, bandages, isolation, Unit 00 off-line, overwhelmed by the Angel's attack, "for any previous 'victory dinner.' I do not know if it was an event that is usual, when the enemy is killed."
Rei looks up. "I had a, warm, feeling from the 'victory dinner.' I had thought that if I learned to make the same food I would be able to remember it. It did not seem complicated."
The list is looked at again, as if in accusation. It is obviously more complicated than she thought. "I researched the ingredients and recipe for a 'pizza' that contained no meat, and had flavors that I had thought would be pleasant," Rei continues; one arm folds up to brace against her opposing elbow, but her stance is less tense than before. "Does..."
Rei does not finish the question. Instead she turns, towards the greengrocer's, but doesn't start walking right away.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu asks a question, and Rei stops to consider it with all the gravity it deserves. He watches, and he listens, as people pass by and around them, paying them no more heed than they need to in order to get where they're going.
The food that Ikari ordered. The victory dinner. Kaworu nods slowly, consideringly. She says it didn't seem complicated, but already they've required several stops for one single ingredient--for one *half* of an ingredient, for the dough is made up of flour *and* yeast (and water and salt, but those aren't on the list). She starts to ask something, then stops and turns away. He looks up at the greengrocer, but doesn't remark. He knows she sees it. She's looking right at it.
"I see," he says instead, once it's clear Rei has nothing further to say. "I don't know if that sort of thing is typical here, either." It has been in other places, in other times, but subtle details often change even as the broad strokes remain the same. Kaworu has learned--the hard way--not to take for granted that something that happened once will happen again.
"I predict that you will find that it was the company, not the food, that made you feel 'warm' in the sense that you mean," he continues. Obviously, since pizza is a hot food, it would have made her warm in a purely temperature sense. "A 'victory meal'... Well, I suppose one could eat that by oneself. But the Seventh Angel's defeat was a combined effort." (No matter what the Second claims.) "It's that sense of unity, of celebrating together a victory that was won together, that I suspect you crave." But the company of others making food taste better is one thing he's come to understand.
It's why he only bothers to eat socially.
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't bother, though," he adds. "It's good to experience things for yourself. You won't know for certain if I'm right or wrong otherwise--especially if it's something you chose to do for yourself."
In other words, he'll continue to help her with her quest to find pizza ingredients if that's what she wants to do. For the time being, he simply stands next to her, awaiting her decision.
*Her* decision.
Rei Ayanami tosses a coin: Tails
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei doesn't look at Kaworu as he speaks. She has turned into the shop by the time he is done, but has not gone far inside. There is no one right there to say WELCOME but that's probably because someone's unpacking sweet potatoes in the back and they may just be the only employee!
Rei doesn't make a fuss of herself, usually.
Rei sweeps a hand up as if to smooth her hair. Maybe she wasn't fiddling with her ear then in the first place. Stress displacement. Has she done that in the past? Maybe sometimes.
"Yes," Rei says. "A combined effort. We combined all of our forces and the enemy was silenced. Casualties were limited even among the supporting equipment." A beat passes. "The battle went well."
"... The other pilots are here now," Rei says. "Ikari is here. Unit-01 is operating reliably. 02, Z2, Zahllos. Others, as well. I do not expect to participate in other 'victory dinners.'"
Rei lingers for a moment -- her fingers curling at her side, as if to grasp at something beyond touch or words -- and it seems to elude her.
But she continues into the greengrocer's all the same.
Rei goes towards the fresh herbs first, probably because picking out basil is pretty easy. She finds a package of only-very-slightly-wilted basil wrapped up on a tray, looking somewhat forlorn in its standardized packaging, and her fingers rest atop the taut plastic. A tiny ghost of the scent of the herb beneath is there.
"Do you know what Ikari prefers to eat on top of a pizza?" Rei asks Kaworu, turning her head towards him if not quite looking up.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Has she? ...Maybe sometimes, yes. Kaworu isn't actually sure. Though Rei is of great interest to him and always has been, Shinji has always been his top priority. In the times where Kaworu had the time to build a deeper relationship with Rei, he had eyes largely only for Shinji. This time, though...
This time, he's starting to wonder if that was part of the problem. But he's spent enough troubled time pondering on that. Now he focuses on Rei and her nervous mannerisms. He listens to her flat, even affect as she speaks of how well the battle went. Of how many other pilots are nere now. How she expects not to participate in other 'victory dinners.'
"..."
For a moment, he says nothing as he follows her into and through the greengrocers. He stares down at the package of basic in Rei's pale hand. It was once fresh, perhaps, but it has started to wilt as it waits to fulfill its destiny of being consumed.
"When I was first assigned to the local base, I spoke with Shinji about my role here," he says instead of answering her question, "how I'm meant to be a reserve pilot, among other things. He has a troubled relationship with piloting, so I offered to take his place so he wouldn't need to suffer.
"He refused my offer. Instead, he said that if I were to lift the burden of piloting an Evangelion from anyone, it should be you. That's why I've been piloting Unit 00 until now." He looks at Rei. "I have no desire to take your place away from you, though. If you wish to continue to pilot, I won't take that from you. You are the First, after all."
A pause. "As for your question... if I told you Shinji prefers to eat meat on his pizza, would you still prepare it for him?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei takes the basil, wilting or not, with her.
She looks up now, and directly at Kaworu, as he speaks on the conversation he had with Shinji. Her lips thin slightly. A frown maybe, but a thoughtful one, and not a large one. Her eyes widen slightly.
"... It is a kind sentiment," Rei then says, eyes turning down again. Her arms cross, the basil held slightly awkwardly.
A moment passes.
Another.
"... I do not desire to be replaced," Rei continues, "but my desires are not relevant." And with this ambiguous sort of remark, we approach the piece de resistance:
TO MA TO
Rei considers an array of four different types of tomatoes set out beneath a colorful little chalk display helpfully explaining how much for how many of each one. "Not the large ones," Rei tells herself, repeats to herself, remembers aloud. This leaves plum tomatoes and cherry tomatoes in little plastic boxes. Rei seems to consider them as if they hold secrets.
An undesirable color. But the flavor is pleasant.
"..."
Rei shifts again. The delay may be surprising. "If..."
"... it is genuinely his preference, then I would prepare it for him, according to his preference."
"Why did you ask me that?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"It is," Kaworu agrees gently. He understands well that kind intent can lead to cruel actions all the same. After all, he'd accepted Shinji's request regardless of how he thought Rei might feel about it, because it was Shinji's feelings he cared the most about. That's still true, really. But...
Now, he has many things he needs to reconsider.
"True. Even if you die, you can be replaced, whether you desire it or not. That is how NERV has operated up until now," Kaworu says without cruelty or pity. It's a statement of fact, nothing more or less. "But I find myself in a curious position of some authority within the organization, and I do not desire your replacement, either." He gives her a soft, subtle smile. He's met a Rei Ayanami who *wasn't* like him. He didn't dislike her, but it wasn't the same. And this Rei Ayanami is only half of what she is--but that may change in the future, and even if it doesn't, it's more than nothing. So, truthfully, he concludes, "I want you to be who you are."
They stop at the tomatoes. Rei murmurs her research to herself while Kaworu watches and listens. He leans down to get a closer look at them, curious at the different sizes, shapes, and colors. She takes a long time to answer the question he posed, but that's fine; he tooks his time answering hers, too. So when she makes her conclusion, he doesn't look back at her right away.
But he does smile enough to make his eyes crinkle as a faint laugh escapes his throat.
"You and I really are the same," he comments, but softly enough that it's more to himself than to her. Back at conversational level, he replies, "I wanted to know how much his happiness means to you." He turns that smile now fully on her. "I wasn't disappointed."
But that doesn't actually answer the original question. So: "Based on the order he put in, I believe he likely enjoys both 'plain' and 'pepperoni.' But he didn't have a chance to eat any of it while I was there, so I'm afraid I can't say for certain. If you prepare a cheese pizza for him to start, I don't think he'll be unhappy. If it isn't his ideal preference, you can always adjust as you try again."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei reaches forwards to pick up one of the plum tomatoes as Kaworu speaks. She doesn't look at him but this much is at least established. She is listening, at least.
And then he expresses a desire.
Rei's head turns. Her eyes meet his for a moment. They are the same, he says.
"... Why do you want that?" she asks.
Her attention rests on the tomato.
A winter vegetable. Grown in a greenhouse. Tended and produced. Similar to a manifold of peers. Here, firm. Dead. Awaiting the knife, and the pot, and the mouth.
To be who I am.
Who I am.
Who am I?
The tomato is turned, gently.
"Peperoni," Rei says, carefully. "If it is a kind of pepper, then that is no difficulty. I will investigate it further." Her head turns then to look at Kaworu as he proposes a further course of action. An initial effort - to zero in - to find the one that you want to make. From there, Rei can tell, it's easy to proceed with a proven example.
She knows that particular process better than most, really.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu is still watching Rei when she turns to meet his eyes. Why does he want that?
"Because if you continue to be who you are, one day, we will grow closer," Kaworu explains. He pauses--or maybe *hesitates*--before adding, "Or at least, that's my hope."
Pepperoni. Is that a kind of pepper? ...Kaworu realizes he isn't sure. There is pepper, and pepperoni, and pepperoncini, and all of them are foods, and he eats so infrequently. Pepperoni is a frequent pizza topping. It's red discs. Are the discs made of pepper or of meat? ...Well, Rei will figure it out for herself. She's already decided on what she wants to do.
From here, he'll simply support her until she can make it happen. Even if in the immediate sense, that's maybe simply helping her carry her groceries back to her apartment. It's a pleasant activity, and he's enjoyed the conversation they've shared.
The air is brisk and crisp by the time they *do* return. Perhaps it will snow soon.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
To grow closer.
"..." This is of course Rei's response to many things. If she had the mind to reflect on it right now she might wonder on how she would have felt colder about it as recently as twenty minutes ago. Now, it seems...
Perhaps, on some level, a little bit like that victory dinner.
"Understood," she says, but softly.
The rest of the shopping proceeds without incident, although Rei is forced to settle for bag cheese from the cold section of the greengrocer's. Kaworu can likely project accurately that she's going to (literally) burn through that entire bag before getting into too much trouble, and there are better places in Tokyo-3, no doubt; and if not, well, there are many places in the world.
The Pizza-H*t has to get its supplies from somewhere.
The journey back is quiet. Rei does not speak much - perhaps not at all - but she does not object, either. When she parts ways, either at a train's stop or at the entrance to her residential block, she says:
"Goodbye."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
'Understood,' she says, but softly.
That's good enough for Kaworu. His smile deepens, and reflects the warmth he himself feels.
There are still differences between them, though. Kaworu knows that well, really--he's already observed it. But it's made the most clear when they part ways.
'Goodbye,' Rei says.
"Until we meet again," he replies.