2022-07-26: Dangerous Bonds
- Log: 2022-07-26: Dangerous Bonds
- Cast: Sayla Mass, Leina Ashta
- Where: Villa Mass, AEU Spain
- OOC - IC Date: 25 July 0096
- Summary: Leina tells Sayla about a boy she just met, and a bond she just formed. Sayla tells Leina about a bond she once saw, and the scars it left on a boy she once knew.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
It began with an urgent text message.
>We need to talk, asap.
>Villa when you can get here.
Leina doesn't add something like asap unless it's a crisis that's far more important than the more mundane ones in the life of a high school girl. However she also adds nothing more about what this is about. When Sayla actually gets home, she'll find that Leina has a mulled wine ready for her in the lounge room.
And she's made it a double.
She has a hot chocolate ready for herself, seated on the couch in the lounge room. She has her laptop open on her lap, but she's notably not typing or looking on her screen. She's more... staring off into space. Her pressure is currently, tumultuous at best, volatile.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
The good news, Sayla is already not far from the villa- she still has work to deal with, but she can schedule face to faces local- and she wanted to pick up some ingredients if just to see if their new guest has much of a sense of taste. That text, however...
>I'll be there as soon as possible. -Sayla
She drops the rest of her plans for the day, and is driving home as fast as she can get away with paying the fine for.
The double mulled wine and the hot chocolate are bad indicates. Her pressure is... bad. Sayla keeps her walls measured, but opens a small gap. Just enough that she can let her in if words aren't enough. And she sees that Leina left her the one seater.
In that moment, Sayla chooses to ignore both the mulled wine and the chair, and moves straight to Leina, to sit next to her with maybe half a couch space between them. Close but not crowding.
"Leina, are you okay? What happened?" She's not masking the concern and worry, not bothering to hide the way she normally does. She almost never does with Leina.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina puts on a smile as Sayla sits next to her. The smile is certainly sincere, as she's happy to see her, but she doesn't say anything at first, she just puts the laptop to the side. Then performs a half turn to face her. And... "A lot happened." Pause, "A lot. And it's..." Another pause, "... all important."
She swallows, then starts again, the smile fades, "This may take a while. Ah. I was up on Side 1 doing a survey for Shangri-la to try to assess . I was hiding my pressure. Someone found me anyway. A boy, named Banagher Links." Leina's green eyes fix upon her, "He's powerful. Maybe as powerful as my brother and Haman Karn... but he's new to it all. That would be important enough on its own."
Leina looks back down at her hands, "We bonded - right away." Does she actually smile again at that moment? Her pressure certainly takes on a more positive upswing.
"And he told me things. They're all high priority."
Leina lifts a hand and starts counting down fingers, her speech becomes, succinct, clipped, like she's trying to focus on the main points for Sayla's sake. Like she's rehearsed this just because it's so much, "To start he's the son of Cardeas Vist. His father was performing Newtype experiments upon him - I suspect the whole Vist Foundation is."
Another finger, "He met with Mineva Lao Zabi at Anaheim Technical College by happenstance - because she was going to meet with Cardeas Vist. His father was offering to hand something called Laplace's Box, an object which he said held great power to overturn the status quo, to Neo-Zeon. That didn't work out. As you heard in the news, the College was destroyed, Cardeas Vist is dead."
Another finger, "He entrusted his son with an experimental Gundam before death. A Gundam that's supposed to be the key to the box."
Another finger, "Mineva Lao Zabi is now being held on a Federation ship called the Gwennangorn. I don't know anything more about its location."
The last finger of this hand. "Banagher is currently travelling on the Garencieres." She looks Sayla in the eye, because she's not going to lie about this, "A Sleeves Vessel. He's not a part of their cause. One of the crew on the vessel is one of the Elpeo's sisters, a woman named Marida Cruz."
It's telling perhaps that she never refers to them as Purus, or clones, just... sisters.
Leina tries her best to keep her voice calm, even if she doesn't FEEL calm, "There's more to that situation than it sounds on its face. Those are the main points though."
Sayla by now may have a VERY good sense about how not calm now after she's relayed all of that.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla was prepared for boy troubles, even bad boy troubles. Things with Shiro had been amicable, but this> This is indeed a lot. She lets Leina say everything she has to say, and takes mental notes. There's worry, frustration, anger- now the walls raise up. Not for her sake, she tells herself. For Leina's
And then, worldlessly, she puts an arm around Leina, and hugs her tight. "This is all urgent, but we can wait fifteen minutes. I know you want to act, and fix this. But you need to stop and breathe, okay? You texted me right after this conversation happened, didn't you? Have you let yourself process at all?"
Her tone is caring, gentle and earnest. There is so much here, so much to deal with. But in this moment, she selfishly cares more about Leina than she does the rest of it. "Finish your hot chocolate. Let your brain slow down, if you can. We can't make a plan about this if we're not calm and in control. And I'm not going to be calm and in control until you are."
Her mind is racing about what this all means. But she also can't stop and work this out while on edge.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina all but collapses into Sayla's arms, wrapping her arms around her and squeezing tightly. She'd kept it together for so long. For Banagher, and for Callisto. At the time even, all the positives in the moment managed to help buoy her through it. Their happiness, and hers constantly managing to beat back the rest
However the more she'd learned, the more immense and overwhelming it became. The more and more it brought to the surface. The more she had to close herself off, because the whole situation brought back all those hurtful memories and experiences. It caused so much hurt to her, and what it brought to the surface in her could hurt others.
It did hurt others.
Sayla can feel it. All that trauma from when she was a child just, closer to the surface of Leina's sea than it usually is, which the two had to deal with in the years that follow - than she typically lets it be.
Leina's eyes fill with droplets of water, as she sniffs. She knows she can let herself go in this moment if she wants to, but she lets herself breathe...
... again, and again. Refocusing herself, listening to her words.
Eventually she sits back up, wipes her eyes across her sleeve. Another breath. Picks back up her cocoa, sniffs it, lets that scent fill her lungs. And takes a sip.
There's just the rhythm of her breathing and sipping the hot chocolate for the next few minutes. It's one of the few moments where she's actually tempted to put Neo-Bailey's in it... even if it ruins it, but she resists the urge, because good hot chocolate is just good for the soul.
At some point in this space, Foras enters the room, Leina doesn't notice him until he leaps up on her side of the couch. Her hand moves down to pet him as he bounds up to her, his contented purr enters into the thrum of emotion. Things, recede slowly, in these moments after that catharsis.
All that sadness, that hurt, that pain begins to sink back down into the recesses and the depths. There's still an anxious buzz within her aura, that pressure. How could there not be? She still hasn't finished telling Sayla everything. And one of those things... is about a boy. Eventually once the hot chocolate is mostly drained, and Foras is contently laying on her lap, as she pets him...
"Okay. Alright."
...she doesn't immediately launch into saying anything else. She wants to hear what Sayla has to say first. Before that though...
... she leans over and gives her another hug. There's a happy cat on her lap, but right now she needs to give Sayla another hug, so she does it mostly from turning her Torso and not moving her legs too much.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla gently wraps the other arm around Leina, holding her. Letting her unload all that she's been holding on to. Just a few moments of quiet silence as Leina centers herself. "This is a lot. You can't try to shoulder it all yourself." As Foras gets settled, she gives him a little scritch behind the ears. "I know you want to help, but hurting yourself to do so isn't good for anyone.
Sayla Mass, Renowned Hypocrite.
"I know there's more coming." She's thoughtful, deliberate. "So let me clear the current plate. I knew about Laplace's Box. One of our allies in Sweetwater told me about the conspiracy theories around it, and it's existence. I'd had it on our radar, but between Tsutsujidai and Triple Zero, I haven't had time to focus on it. If your friend has the key- and is the son of a recently deceased important Federation figure- then I imagine the factions interested in it are making their moves. Full Frontal's Sleeves, and presumably the Vist Foundation..." Sayla's walls, up as they are, are not perfect and a wave of fury barely slips out as she mentions Full Frontal and the Sleeves.
"...I'm not sure how I feel about the situation regarding Miss Zabi." Anger there, too. "I don't like the Federation having her, but I don't like the Sleeves having her either. While the Zabi family hold no official power, there are still sympathizers." She doesn't push further. Leina knows full well what Haman could do with Mineva's 'legitimacy'. "And Mr Links telling people he's only just met is dangerous too. Imagine if the Black Knights got her, or the REA. Or Britannia." She's wracking her head about this. "...I need to talk to intelligence. This one isn't one we can stumble into blindly."
"As for the matter of... Elpeo's sisters." Sayla pauses. "You're involved now, and I can't stop you, even if I'd feel better than you weren't, but if this meeting is going to happen, you need to set the terms, set the location, and I'm not letting you go without someone to watch your back. Chibodee or Allenby, perhaps. Otherwise Miss Elsayed or Miss Cardiff." She pauses. "...And I'll be there if you need me to or want me to, but the second it looks like a trap, you're running. I know you're capable, and I know you hate me giving orders but this isn't a joke and I will not put you or let you put yourself at further risk. Understood?"
Sayla's voice is firm, but never hard or sharp. These are simply her requirements. She will not have Leina subjected to that traumatic experience again if she can do anything about it.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina at least seems calmer. A bit emotionally drained, as if she'd been bottling that up for some time, until it was more than the vessel could hold, the pressure creating cracks... until...
... Sayla though gives good advice, and Leina actually smiles as she leans against her, though that's a wryness to her smile, as she answers her softly, "Great advice. Can you repeat it again for someone else I know? After we find a hallway mirror?"
... well at least that tells Sayla that Leina is definitely still herself after all of this...
She lapses into quiet again though, because Sayla mentions what she knew. And what she's been focused upon, and what her efforts actually contributed to her knowledgebase. Leina doesn't say much as Full Frontal is brought up. There's a surge of fear, and concern, even as her arms squeeze around her just subtly more tightly. Like she was afraid to let her go.
"... I know how I feel about her." Leina replies quietly, a reference perhaps to prior conversations. In Neo-Zeon, her life was not her own under Glemy. In the same way, Mineva's was not her own under Haman Karn. If she had her choice, Mineva would have the opportunity to pick the life she wants to live. Though perhaps that's a childish fantasy of hers, the idea that she could offer her an escape, an opportunity to run away from it all. Life doesn't always work out like that, and she doesn't know her. She doesn't know what she wants, and how she feels.
When she invokes Banagher telling someone he just met as being dangerous. Sayla feels this underlying sense of concern and worry from her, like she accidentally just toed something that Leina hadn't gotten to yet.
Instead the topic shifts to Elpeo, and Sayla notes Leina isn't usually happy to be ordered around. However... "Understood. Andddd-" As she drawls out the word, "-way ahead of you." What if she agrees with those orders in the first place? Leina has a lopsided smile as if to say 'I know you're worried but I'm not that stupid - Sayla', "I'm already trying to arrange it on our terms. Here on Earth, even. Callisto will be there too, and Arriety. I don't mind if you're there, or even someone else. Just so long as it doesn't look like we're trying to intimidate them." There's a sad smile on her face as she notes, "Her Captain regards her as his own daughter. I think we can convince him to agree to our terms."
After all, if anyone could claim to treat someone like Marida as they would their own family, it's Callisto and Leina.
However Leina eventually lets go of Sayla, its a slow process of extricating herself, like she wants to make certain that she's found some sort of calm after Full Frontal was invoked. Leina gives Foras a few apology scritches for cruelly giving Sayla all the attention for so long. And Sayla will feel it, the slow build perhaps...
"As for Banagher. He only told me because we connected pretty much right away. There was a lot of..." Leina actually looks rueful, like it was great - but also she has regrets about the experience too, "... sharing." Sayla will certainly understand immediately that she doesn't mean the sharing was through words. Leina's eyes slip up to meet Sayla's gaze, as she can only imagine what it looks like. Given where this is certainly going. "He's a good guy. Real innocent, a bit naive - but so sincere too. We built up a lot of trust very quickly."
...
...
...
"I kind of-sort of..."
Oh no.
"... asked him out?"
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla gives a small smirk in response. "Maybe once I'm done helping a certain smartass back on her feet." The term is definitely affection, Sayla acknowledging Leina's usual sass. It's definitely a good thing.
"...I'll guess we'll see how it turns out. But this might be above your paygrade- we'll see what the spades dig up first." Leina has strong feelings about this sort of thing, so does Sayla. But you don't dig up the princess of a dead dynasty casually.
And there is likely to bad blood on both sides here.
Sayla definitely raises an eyebrow, but says nothing on those feelings. "...I understand, but the Sleeves are desperate. They went after the rescue MS prototypes Job John was working on at Mao because they thought they might be weapons, and then decided to try and destroy it all anyway when they found out they were wrong." Sayla had still been in a rough mood when she came back from the Copernicus safehouse after that. "And if this captain really sees her that way..." She pauses, the thought lingering in her head unsaid.
"Miss Hearn and Ms Diana are still with the federation. And they could find out who you are quite easily- especially since I imagine your new friend will likely tell them. I understand you not wanting to intimidate them, but I'd feel better if I could guarantee an escape if something goes wrong." Yeah. Sayla's worried, even if she's trying to hide it herself. She doesn't want a feedback loop here.
When Leina lets go, Sayla lets her, but she leaves a hand on Leina's shoulder just in case. She listens again. Her expression changes ever so subtly, that may as well be a blatant signal to her ward. The tone of her voice echoes it. "Leina... " Sayla rubs her eyes with her free hand. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Sayla absolutely does not think it is.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's grin is incorrigible, beaming like she knows Sayla likes her smartass - at least most of the time, "Looking forward to having you as an ally for once against - you."
Leina though does sigh, and it's not a sigh in the way wherein she is dismissing Sayla so much as its a 'you're right and I know you're right.' "Yeah. Didn't expect to stumble into something this big just doing a survey of my home Colony." With one hand she rubs the side of her head, "Which is why I passed to you the moment I could."
Leina sets to stroking Foras' fur though as she speaks of her past experiences with the Sleeves. There's a grimace that sets on her face as she cites that incident, as evidence of their desperation. And it's clear it's got through to her. There is after all a reason that she turned Banagher down, and that reason goes through multiple layers of trauma. Sayla's worry and care finds her not fighting back on this point at least
"I know you're right." Leina says, reluctantly but also from a well-reasoned perspective, "Marida got captured recently by the Federation - and they got her back without killing anyone." Her eyes are down on Foras, "It's a point in their favor but even if they're better than the rest of them, they still have superiors."
Leina certainly has told Sayla stories enough of what happened to her on the days Glemy Toto wasn't in charge on Neo-Zeon, and she certainly doesn't want to put her life in the hands of the idea that Full Frontal can't find a use for someone well connected to Sayla Mass - or Judau Ashta. And as badly as she wants to see Elpeo's sisters...
... she won't put either of them in that position.
That hand though remains on her shoulder. And she can see the signal on Sayla's face. It's not like she didn't already think this way, this just confirms it. And Sayla actually sees her eyes move to the side as she contemplates it, though she still wears this... smile. And Sayla will certainly recognize this one from her. It's the sign that for however much trauma, and hurt, and pain these experiences dredged up out of her from the sheer immensity of all of this...
... it was certainly not all negative, because she looks genuinely happy too. "I made a list of all the pros and all the cons while trying to get my thoughts in order over this. Trying to make sure I wasn't just swept up in the moment." That certainly sounds like that's something she would do. Trying to reason through it, see it from all angles... however there's a but coming, and Sayla could feel it. "But in the end the list didn't help as much as I'd hoped... because I really like him, and I feel like we established this... connection."
She quickly looks up to look Sayla in the eyes and reassure her, "It's not love at first sight or anything..." Trying to signal she's trying to stay grounded despite being emotionally invested, "... it's more casual than that, but I really do want to give it a try and see where it goes. And if it doesn't get off the ground, I'd be content to just be friends."
That infectious smile just remains as she looks Sayla in the eyes, green meeting her blue, "I know you're concerned. I won't even try to tell you that you're wrong to be. Just I'll ask you to... give him a chance? For me?" Then abruptly, she winks and there's this... tone shift... "Even if the two of us don't work out, practically speaking with everything that's going on... he's someone you'll want in your corner anyway."
As what she was scheming towards, even before the two decided to date comes right out.
"Am I wrong?"
As she tries to box her right in, with giving the boy she wants to date a chance, because he's also the key to Laplace's Box, because he's also someone caught up in the middle of all these events. Because she thinks he's someone that would be an asset to the Shuffle Alliance.
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla simply nods. "Thank you." Leina's a sensible girl, and trustworthy. And when she gets her heart set on something, she can be hard to stop. Which is why Sayla appreciates her catching herself. She doesn't actually respond to the comment of them getting people out without killing anyone, but her face hardens.
That smile though, is also a sign to Sayla. Damnit. She wants Leina to have that smile but...
She takes a loong slow breath. She regrets not getting that Mulled Wine, but she's here now and she's not moving. "You are, actually. This boy sounds like he wears his heart on his sleeve, so the risk of it not working out means it not working out could warrant trying to stop you." She's trying to lighten things up for herself as much as Leina.
"...But I won't. As long as you're not trying to get a date with Britannian royalty or a BioNet crime boss, I trust you to make your own decisions. Even if I may disagree. We both know I've made my share of mistakes." There's another pause. "But those connection, in that space? They can be dangerous, and they can leave real scars- and not just to the people involved."
Another long pause. "Amuro had a connection like that with a girl he just met." She's never told Leina this part of the story. It's a raw one. "She was with Zeon, and she was powerful, like he was. And then he fought her during our push to A Bao A Qu. And during battle, they had a deeper connection. They both simply stopped in battle- and suddenly I felt he was in danger. I took the Core Booster to go after him, and the Red Comet came to protect her. In the end... She took a fatal blow from Amuro that was meant for Char."
Sayla is leaving out so much, but even telling Leina this much is agonizing. She isn't showing scars, she's got long festering wounds on her heart, even with the walls up, that she doesn't want Leina to see. "...That bond kept going after her death. It may have what let Amuro guide us out of A Bao A Qu. But her ghost never went away, like with Elpeo. He'd talk to her in his dreams... and sometimes I'd see them from mine. It's one of the reasons why I had to leave. And the reason Char wouldn't give up on fighting Amuro. That bond is why the Axis Shock happened, the catalyzing moment."
Sayla lets out a long pained breath. "You need to be careful with this Leina. And you need to protect yourself and your feelings. You need to tell him when he's digging too deep. Understood?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Sayla may appreciate her catching herself earlier on one hand on the matter of seeing Marida. Unfortunately she recognizes better than Leina how she isn't when it comes to this boy. She's always tried to go into dating with eyes wide open and with Shiro that was exactly how she tried to do it. However, she's always had a type, and that type is fools with good hearts.
This time however there's a certain emotional intensity that can come with only both parties being Newtypes, and that is overriding her sense somewhat in the novelty of it all within the teenage experience. Leina quirks an eyebrow at Sayla as she indicates the scenario could warrant trying to stop her, not reflexively responding quite yet. Even though she has a whole list of arguments ready and waiting.
She doesn't pipe in either on Britannian royalty or a BioNet crime boss. She'd even add far more to the list than that, but she knows they both know her standards are far higher than that. Nor on Sayla making mistakes, because she's being self-aware, and using it as a point of why she won't stop her. Instead she absently scritches Foras, eyeing Sayla with those green eyes of hers, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She contemplates the idea of those connections leaving scars, and other people as collateral. And is about to speak up when...
... Sayla invokes Amuro.
Leina's breath catches, the absent scritching of Foras stops, and she's just still even as Foras looks up at her with an expression of betrayal because 'why did it stop'. Something wells up in her throat, as she sits transfixed, listening to the story of how such bonds can cause so much pain, so much collateral damage. And that it caused so much to Sayla, in ways that didn't heal, from the man she loved and thought she would marry.
There is a warning in this story that gets to her in ways that Sayla doesn't even realize, given Banagher's fixation on Mineva. She was working up to it, but now... all she sees in those festering wounds in Sayla's heart, and seeing how deep they run just bring the storm warning of tears to her eyes again. Did the message get to her? Reach her? Yes, absolutely. However, right now she can't think about her own situation when she sees her in front of her.
"Damnit Sayla." Her voice is quiet, whisper thin, her cursing in and of itself has always been rare even after she became an adult. The pressure about her suddenly just filled with sadness, and an underlying sense of frustration. All these years of living with her, knowing her unhappiness, seeing her at her worst, and she didn't realize, didn't understand. "Why do you always do this? You hold it in and hold it in..." She understands how difficult it was for her to talk about this, and is incredibly touched that Sayla cares enough to warn her so she doesn't have to suffer the same hurt...
... but all she sees right now is how much she was hurting for all these years.
Ordinarily Leina considers it a sin to disturb a happy Foras, but right now she bids him off her lap, as she makes a big shift, and pushes herself right back up against Sayla and gives her the biggest hug, her arms latching around her and squeezing her so tightly. "... you are such a dummy sometimes!" She realizes Sayla always thinks she has good reasons for hiding them, that all of her decisions on what she keeps from the people in her life are well-calculated, thought through...
... but she also thinks they're in the end, stupid decisions, because they shut them out from being able to help her. Leina looks her in the eye, her expression distraught, frustrated, sad all at once, "You're only telling me now? When you think I'm about to make a mistake? When I'm one of the few people who could... get it! And I was right here! The whole time!"
It's a very different situation she's detailing, between Elpeo acting as a surrogate little sister, trying to reunite her 'siblings' to create the family she longed for, and didn't have. Yet at the same time, how much trauma did that girl inflict upon her life? As good of terms that they've been on since her death, as united in purpose, she still brings that hurt to the surface every time. As different as a situation as it is, she can understand more than most how connections - their presence beyond death can scar people.
"Why is it only okay for you to suffer in silence?"
Once upon a time, Sayla saved her life. Helped her navigate through the sea of pain that her experiences brought to her. She's dedicated so much of her life to returning the favor, as impossible a task as it might seem - no matter how difficult she makes it for her. Such is her loyalty.
"... Why can't you let me help you, in all the ways you've helped me?"
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
The curse tells her she made a mistake. When Leina hugs her... Sayla takes a moment to respond, then holds her tight again. She grimaces. "Because that chapter of my life was done, Leina." And maybe Sayla even believes that, despite the rawness of the wounds. "I just-"
And then Leina lets out her frustration wholly, and Sayla is for a moment, stunned. "Leina, I..."
She stops, and brings a hand up to the back of Leina's head, trying to guide Leina to her shoulder, since she'll let her. "...When I took you in, I told myself I'd do all I could to stop you suffering. You deserved at least that much." Sayla's trying be logical again. Her fallback point. "And what you had to go through in 93 with me... I didn't want to put you through that again either." Is... that the reason?
She takes another pause. "...I keep those memories puished aside for a reason. You shouldn't have to go through them, not after everything. And I don't want to go back to them. It's better for all that to stay in the past." She's closing herself off, defensive. Let the dead rest in her heart, and bother no one else.
Sayla takes a few moments more to steady herself. "And I knew you'd drop everything if I did. You'd close off what you need or want to care about me. We both know it, you're doing it right now." She gently ruffles Leina's hair. "You've already helped me so, so much. Every day since you started living me has been brighter, even the bad ones. So if you want to help me... I want you to focus on what you want. You having a happy life would be more help than anything. Okay, pollito?"
Inwardly, Sayla can't help but worry. Has she pushed Leina too far with that? She was careless. There were better ways. Why pick the one that would upset her most? Why go to the most extreme option?
...Because you're too damn scared that she'll get hurt, and that was the most clear way to show the danger.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina gives Sayla an immediate look that's just as raw, just as frustrated as if to say 'You know it isn't!!!' However when Sayla starts to speak again, she doesn't interrupt her. She's had her say. Even when the two fight, there's always a sense of fairness.
It's so easy for her to guide Leina's head to her shoulder, it's a place where it's been so many times before. Her soft and curly brown hair comes to rest against it, the weight of the girl behind it. She's never grown out of moments like this. And it's unlikely she ever will. Maturity and adulthood just never have meant the same to Leina as they do other teenagers. Her eyes have been shuttered for a while, though an eye opens and looks at her grumpily out of the periphery as she says it's better they stay in the past.
Still though, she doesn't pull away, doesn't withdraw. Even if she doesn't accept what Sayla is saying, she remains pressed against her shoulder as if the two have a bond stronger than gravity itself. Her expression softens though, as her hair is ruffled, and she's called by her pet name.
"You know I don't accept even half of that." Leina says quietly, it doesn't have the heat of their usual bickering in this moment of closeness. Before she repeats herself again even more quietly, "... you know it." This moment hurts, but it doesn't hurt so much as Leina knowing that Sayla lost so much in 93... "You're the Doctor here. You know wounds don't heal by ignoring them." ... and hasn't been happy since.
Leina sighs as a 'What am I going to do with you?' feel hangs heavy. After a moment though, she turns her head to the side, on the fulcrum of Sayla's shoulder and manages this small, fond smile that she can witness up close, "If it runs the risk that it might make you happy... I'll give your way a try too - okay?"
However, despite allowing her this much, she does peel her head off her shoulder, and looks her square in the eyes, "But don't you dare suggest that means I should head off to some University on the other side of the world. My home is here, and you're a big part of my happiness Sayla."
Leina's happiness - her heart has always been a jigsaw puzzle of the people in her life. The pieces may vary in size over time, she may add more to it. However two pieces currently rest at the core of her heart, her center. Her Big Brother and Sayla, "And that will never change."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
Sayla can endure Leina's frustration. The two have argued many times, and there have been times when Leina has been frustrated, but wrong. And when Sayla has been the same. "I know." Sayla affirms. She lets Leina... slow down? Vent her own frustations. "...I know this isn't the end of it, either."
Sayla gives her own smile back. "Thank you." She's still quiet, thoughtful. She doesn't push back as much as she wants to. She doesn't argue abhout where home is for now. Leina honestly seems near breaking point to Sayla, and Sayla doesn't want to go into it more. "...Okay."
It's a selfish sort of happiness, being happy that Leina feels her home is here... but also concerned by that. And how Leina will handle when something happens to her. At least Judau and Roux are still in the Earth Sphere... Just in case.
But right now she's got Leina's mind oriented elsewhere. Which is important, now to keep it that way. "I think we could use a breather. Anti's stable and under Buer's watchful eye, and could use some quiet. Why don't I drive us to town for dinner? We've only got so many summer evenings left this year and it feels like it's been a while."
This one is as much for her as it is for Leina. They only have so many days of summer. They only have so many goodbyes and goodnights. And she wants to do all she can to make sure that with Leina it's as easy for her as can be.
So she can't waste any opportunity for one happy moment.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina doesn't even have to agree that it isn't the end of it. She knows it. It will continue as long as the two care for each other, in perpetual motion, no matter who is right or wrong in any given moment.
Is she at her breaking point? Isn't she? Sayla would know better than most. The night has been one of wild swings of emotion, and it began with her in such a bad state, she's resilient, she's a survivor - but she has her limits. Sayla knows she'd endure twelve Axis' for Sayla's sake...
... but how much of her would come out the other side?
It is definitely concerning, given how much the people in her life put themselves in mortal danger. What happens when she loses one of them? What happens to her happiness? Just as concerning is what she might sacrifice for one of them in the moment. Leina got shot putting herself between Judau and Haman Karn after all. It must be such a relief she's never taken up piloting, so that she's unlikely to do that again.
There's an offer of dinner, and a breather does sound good. As drained as she is emotionally by all of this...
... "Think there's nothing I'd like more right now." As Leina unravels from her position around Sayla, after one last tight squeeze. "I'll go get changed."
Then slowly she stands up, stretching out her arms over her head given how long the two have been seated, as she eyes her, "Hopefully he doesn't decide to get up while we're gone. I feel like Nidaime may be enabling some bad habits along with all the good ones." 'For her Knight' she doesn't say, but that's because that one she can't tell, as it'd be betraying her trust, "There was a suspiciously shredded roll of toilet paper upstairs when I got home."
Though a moment later she puts on a grin like she's pasting on a sticker. "I'll address that one later though. The mess and the waste may vex my girl from Shangri-la side... but I feel like we can afford to sacrifice a few rolls for the cause of a few summer nights in town together."
She heads up to her room after, absently reminding herself to check her makeup to make sure it doesn't need touching up... it's not often she lets it out like tonight after all.
[OOC] Leina Ashta says, "*blu-ray that it isn't the end of it."
<Pose Tracker> Sayla Mass has posed.
<poem> Today was even a small glimpse at how far Leina will go for relative strangers, let alone people she cares about. And as much as Sayla thinks that's just who Leina is...
Some days she's glad she's better at guarding her presence than Leina is at reading it.
"Alright, give me a moment to freshen up and I'll meet you at the car. You can pick where on the way." Provide some control, however small.
And then she pauses. "Honestly, I am worried about him influencing Foras." Foras, who has been cruelly displaced from his lap has now been SLANDERED? The cat stalks off after Leina, not willing to tolerate any more of this cruelty.
Sayla gives a smirk, but once Leina is fully out of earshot, she lets out a deep sigh. "Damnit, Leina. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Focus on taking care of yourself first for once."
In this exact moment, the irony is lost on her.