2022-08-20: From the Dazzling Ocean
- Log: 2022-08-20 From the Dazzling Ocean
- Cast: Kaworu Nagisa, Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari
- Where: A fishing town beach somewhere in Free Japan
- OOC - IC Date: August 20, 0096 (2022)
- Summary: During Misato's team-building beach trip, Kaworu and Rei teach Shinji how to float.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu had invited Shinji to swim with him, Rei, and Alouette thus: If you'd like to swim with us now too, you're welcome, but I understand if you'd rather keep the Second's company.
And Shinji had turned him down like so: No. That's all right. I'd hold you back.
At the time, Kaworu's smile dimmed a mote or two. It hadn't been, 'I want to spend more time with Asuka,' it had been, 'I'd hold you back.' Still, he hadn't pushed it. He nodded, then let himself walk into the sea and float with his companions.
He can't swim too strenuously, but he does have Rei there to look out for him. Alouette has plenty of fun swimming too, and he watches her fondly as he lets the waves lap over him. After some time, they return to the shore. The group eats and drinks--Kaworu has one of Shinji's treats, and later grants himself the fascination of what is called a 'shaved ice' (but does not experience the fabled 'brain freeze'; he wonders if it's a joke amongst Lilim that he simply doesn't understand)--and as the sun strolls towards the west, he returns to the shore.
Or rather, limps to the shore. After a certain point, a walking cane doesn't help with traversing the sand. But it's a beautiful view--still daylight, not yet dusk, though that will change before long--and he takes it in with a contented smile as the breeze ripples through his hair and flaps his shirt.
He does so alone, at first. But perhaps someone--or someones--will choose to join him.
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<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei swims comfortably. If there is one thing at which Rei Ayanami has genuine familiarity, it is moving around in the sea; swimming with confident, leisurely strokes when she needs to move. And simply floating when she does not.
Sometimes her head is wholly submerged by a wave. Other than putting her hair in disarray - a matter that only concerns her when it hides her face, or at least, her eyes - it bothers her little if at all.
When Rei emerged from the sea, walking alongside Kaworu, she did have to sweep her hair back. The cool light blue has salt crystals in it now, for that water has long sense dried. Rei ate one of the onigiri that Shinji had assembled, starting from the ear while gazing towards the sea; it was a picture-perfect moment, though perhaps it was unheeded.
The shaved ice was also good. (Rei got the melon syrup.) The morokyu was a novelty to Rei, too. Given that she ate six slices, it was a positive one.
Not long after that, Rei returned to the ocean. She did not go far; though she is certainly quite a distance into the ocean, given the shallow slope of any properly luxurious beach, she has only gone so deep as to float. She is within calling distance, even over the roar of the sea.
Floating, and looking up, towards the south; past the tinsel-ribbon appearance of the orbital ring when the sun catches it *just* so; to the moon, currently a waxing crescent, a barely-visible curve in the dimming vault of the sky.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji enjoys his time watching the others play in the water or attack melons from his spot between both places, and feels a greater sense of warmth every time someone comes by to taste one of his snacks. They don't even have to praise him: they simply need not complain, and he feels satisfied.
Quite possibly, he gets roped into a few other activities or shopping experiences, or chasing after Pen-Pen. And unlike Kaworu, he is not immune to shaved ice, suffering a heavy bout of brain freeze.
The day quiets down and the sun sets into a beautiful spectrum of colors over the horizon. Any of the oppressive heat from the day is fading away, promising to soon fill the sky with stars. Shinji wonders what they may look like form here.
Where Kaworu sits, Shinji comes up behind him. He still feels a sense of having missed the opportunity for the company earlier, but also worries this was an opportunity that has passed. Rei is still out floating in the sea, after all.
"Hey, Kaworu." He frowns a little, not as discreet as he thinks glancing to Kaworu's leg. He noticed that limp earlier. "...Can I join you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's a good feeling. Serene. The crescent moon overhead, the orbital ring just underneath, and the ocean before him, as he watches Rei return to the ocean. He'll join her soon, but...
After all, 'Nagisa' means 'seashore.' This is the place where he belongs.
As the waves lap around his bare feet, his weight on his uninjured right leg, Shinji approaches from behind. Kaworu doesn't look at him--simply enjoys his presence--until he comes to a stop nearby and greets him. Then he turns his head and graces him with his smile.
"Hey, Shinji," he replies. He does notice him glancing at his leg, but he doesn't mind it. It's quite possible Shinji's more bothered by Kaworu's injuries than Kaworu himself is. But then, while Kaworu has suffered as a result, he is a patient sort. Eventually, they will heal. They've already mostly healed. The doctors project that he can dispense with the cane by the time he returns to school in September.
(Though then there will be the problem of if his classmates will accept him again. But that's a problem for later.)
"Of course," he responds to his request, red eyes softening. "I always welcome your company. Even when I was trying to avoid you, I couldn't help but enjoy when you came near anyway." He looks out towards the sea. In what might seem like a nonsequitur, he adds, "Do you dislike swimming?"
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei is a discernible presence; her hair makes it easy to glimpse, and once glimpsed she is easy to keep in sight. She isn't playing or laughing, or splashing; she is simply floating, facing south, watching. A wave rises -
Rei disappears from sight -
The wave passes, and Rei has moved somewhat. She turns herself, and returns to what seems to be her preferred depth when the wave returns. (One leg reaches down, touching sand with a foot, but then comes back up.)
Her head turns a little more when she sees Shinji, but she does not call out. Instead, the sky draws her again.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji settles down beside Kaworu, cross legged and gazing a moment out at the sky. Kaworu's words bring heat to his face and color with it, but he smiles in spite of that. It's not forced, but it's all he knows how to answer with.
But what a question Kaworu's asked.
"I --"
His gaze trails down to Rei. There's the slightest twitch of discomfort the longer he sees her floating on the sea, like he expects her to plunk down to the seafloor any moment. When the wave overtakes her, he straightens abruptly, leaning forward and holding his breath until she's visible again. He heaves a sigh of relief, resettling.
Now that they aren't surrounded by so many people -- a select number who either might have had biting commentary on the fact or thrown him straight into the ocean to test him -- Shinji sees no reason not to be more honest. Kaworu won't make fun of him. Neither would Rei, if she can hear him from there.
"I don't know how to swim."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It takes a moment for Shinji to collect himself enough to answer. Kaworu waits patiently without pressuring him further; he watches him from one side as he watches Rei in front. He isn't concerned when she dips beneath the waves, but he notes Shinji's concern--and relief, when it becomes clear she isn't drowning. Kaworu knows she isn't going to drown. If she did, he knows he would be able to go to her. But Shinji...
'I don't know how to swim.'
"I see," Kaworu says, accepting and without judgment. "So that's why you thought you would hold me back. Trying something you don't know how to do can be frightening, and even more so in a place you've been warned is unforgiving. If you failed, you would die. Even those skilled at it can die sometimes."
Hardly reassuring--but Kaworu isn't trying to scare Shinji further; he says it all completely matter-of-fact. There's no meaning in pretending it's anything less. However... "However, it feels good. The First and I both think it's a pleasant activity. It's one I'd like to share with you... so if you're willing to try despite the risks, I'd like to teach you. I'm sure the First would be willing to watch over us to make sure nothing goes amiss, too."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei is not perturbed by the waves in her orientation; but she is able to see Shinji, in profile, quite well when she looks back, hearing a conversation carried on the breeze. Not its words, perhaps, but its tone. Or perhaps something else drew her eye.
Ikari. Afraid?
The Administrator. This is a voice of encouragement.
What do I do, at a time like this?
If Rei smiles it is drowned out by distance and light and waves; but speaking of waves, she does raise one pale arm above the water and, though it's not quite a semaphoring flag-down of a wave, her forearm does sway and her hand doesn't just flop limp at the end of it.
When the next wave moves her closer, she does not swim back; she rests her feet on the sand and straightens up, the water receding somewhere around mid-chest.
Rei says something, towards Shinji, and then looks towards Kaworu to say something else, but the waves eat the words.
Rei Ayanami has paged you with, Ikari. It was delicious.' / 'Will he swim?' '
BBSYS: Post 204, 'Worst ASMR channel ever' has been published to Daily Spotlight by Lucine Azul.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
If you failed, you would die.
Maybe if there are any dolphins somewhere off the coast, they would have been able to hear the sound Shinji makes.
"R... Right," Shinji agrees with Kaworu's terrifyingly calm assessment of the situation. Shinji isn't used to putting it consciously into so many words. There's also a sentiment in there of not wanting Kaworu or Rei or anyone else to have to babysit him while they seemed so content in the water themselves, but it's gone quiet under the noise of The Ocean Will Kill You.
"Humans weren't meant to float," Shinji mutters, red in the face. "I... I don't know. I don't think I'd be very good at it..."
And yet, there's intrigue in his eyes when he looks back out over the sea. Rei does look like she's enjoying herself out there... And she has been, inexplicably, floating.
"Ayanami?" he asks, when he thinks she may be speaking. Then louder: "Ayanami, are you all right?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"That isn't true. The human body naturally wants to float," Kaworu replies, hearing Shinji's protest and countering it conversationally. He understands the nature of Shinji's fear in a clinical way--Lilim don't have the malleable relationship with death that he has--but falsehoods are falsehoods. "If you truly don't want to, I won't force you. Sitting with you like this on the beach is fine, too."
He looks out towards Rei with a smile--at her wave, at her words swallowed up by the waves even as she draws closer to the two of them. "...But it seems the First would like to swim with you, too."
With slow care, he leans forward onto his good foot and rises into a crouch. He stretches his hand out to Shinji with a fond smile. "Let's go together. We'll show you how easy it is to float."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei answers Shinji.
Except the ocean eats it.
Rei steps forwards, out of the ocean. At about thigh-height she can speak more cogently, though she lets her hands trail in the water. "Yes," she answers Shinji. "This is pleasant." There is no land behind her for hundreds of miles - you could draw rays along the curvature of the Earth and many of them would hit nothing before the Equator...
The wave rises behind her, then recedes, as Kaworu speaks.
He's afraid.
Rei raises both hands, reaching forwards. The sunset light shines on the droplets of seawater.
"Come," she says. "Be calm." Her arms spread a little - though she doesn't step further forwards. It's just a few yards, at most, and the depth is clearly telegraphed; after all, how tall can Rei be.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
There are several protests on Shinji's tongue despite Kaworu's attempts to deliver important doses of reality. They leave him as he looks at Kaworu's outstretched hand. He looks past Kaworu toward Rei, then back to Kaworu.
Pleasant. That's... difficult to imagine.
But he knows Rei and Kaworu believe it. They feel it. Could he...?
Shinji reaches halfway, pausing, then finally takes Kaworu's hand in his. He looks out again to Rei. She's not far, and not too deep, and yet it still seems a terrifyingly impossible distance in the moment.
He watches the water in trepidation, but tightens his grip on Kaworu's hand and nods with shaky determination. "Okay."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Though he hesitates, Shinji ultimately takes Kaworu's hand. His smile parts as he looks at him with affection as deep as the sea, and he curls his fingers around Shinji's.
"One step at a time. I need you to help me too," he tells him, tone reassuring, as he guides him deeper into the water. He'll lean on Shinji for the steps with his off-foot, until they reach as far as Rei. Then he looks at her and gives her a nod. He doesn't say it, but she'll likely understand that she should take Shinji's other hand. She may have already taken his hand by now--after all, her arms are outstretched as if to accept them both.
"Breathe as you normally do, but it's all right to hold your breath. You'll feel the buoyancy of your body as you move deeper into the water," Kaworu advises his friend gently. He steps further out in time with Rei and Shinji, and only in time with them; they move together or not at all, until they reach the point their feet only barely touch the sand. "Don't worry. Relax, and let yourself bob on the waves. We're right here with you."
Burnished light glitters on the waves, all the way to the horizon. It shines on all three of them.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Rei remains still as the two boys approach. She keeps her hands held outwards. Ease in catching; or perhaps an opportunity to reach out for something. If either should fall at the last, or in the face of a wave, she is well situated to catch them.
Further. Further. They're closer. There is a faint and indirect warmth, different from the sun.
Once near enough, Rei reaches out to take Shinji's hand. The other hangs in the air for a moment, and then reaches over to clasp Kaworu's.
It's to Shinji that Rei speaks, though, as she turns - or simply lets the water draw her outwards. "The salt in the water," Rei says. "It is easier to float than the pool at the school. Easier yet than LCL."
Rei does not hasten back out to sea. Waist depth, chest depth; it's enough. She turns her head to look out to sea, and perhaps she had just wanted to see if there was a larger wave coming in -- but instead there is a streak of infinitely complex glittering, fractal diamond sand moving with linear precision towards them. Her lips part in a not-quite-silent gasp.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
One might be tempted to think Kaworu needing Shinji's help in this matter would make Shinji less secure. It has the opposite effect. Something to focus on that isn't his imminent demise being swallowed by the sea.
After all, 'Ikari' means 'anchor', and Shinji fully expects to sink like one.
He offers the support, and takes it in turn, his more a matter of needing the encouragement to face the water at all. Before his arm can quite cross the distance, Shinji starts to reach for Rei. His hips hit the water.
"Cold."
The chill shoots straight up through his spine with an involuntary shudder. Despite it, he uses Kaworu's grip as the courage he needs to bridge halfway to Rei, finally close enough to take her hand.
His grip on each tightens a fraction in his trepidation, then relaxes while still holding firm as he tries to endure the constant motion of the water.
Easier, Rei assures him. Breathe, Kaworu tells him. Shinji takes the deep breath he's instructed to. Unaware of what Rei's observing, Shinji tries to let himself submit to the water and, presumably, float on it.
Humans do float, like Kaworu knows, Rei demonstrates, and Shinji refuses to believe. But it's imperfect, as are all things, and while he bobs, water still washes over his face. Panic spikes and Shinji fumbles to get his footing back, snorting not unlike a wild horse (pony, let's be honest) from the sea salt at his nose.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's easy to get caught in the power of the waves. The ocean's force, even only this far into it, is something that envelopes someone, sapping their strength with each roll in the water until one has no strength left. It's understandable that Shinji panics the first time a wave hits his face, sends water up his nose.
But Kaworu doesn't let go of his hand. He's confident Rei won't, either; she demonstrates well her understanding of the water, either salt or fresh or of Lilith. (How appropriate, he muses with a fond look her way.) The light and the water and the sand surround them not just with their power but their beauty. When Shinji fumbles for his footing, Kaworu eases backwards, lets him return to a place where he's more comfortable. Rei is in no hurry to go out into the depths, and she's the shortest of all three of them.
These sorts of things require both steps forward and steps back.
"It's okay," he reassures him, low voice soft with easy confidence. "Breathe when the water is low, and hold your breath when it's high. If it frightens you to have the water strike your face, turn away for now. You'll grow used to it in time." He gazes out towards the glitter on the ocean with Rei, his crooked smile widening. "Once you do... there is so much to admire."
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Cold?
Rei looks momentarily surprised, that look of total open astonishment crossing her face as Shinji gets deep enough to really *feel* the temperature of the water.
Cold. The water is much cooler than the air.
Heat is transported.
Rei still holds Shinji's hand throughout this struggle. When he settles down, tries to let himself go and relax into the water, Rei brings up her own legs into a tuck beneath herself - sinking down slightly and then -- he's fumbling. Rei's head is briefly submerged in the water because she certainly does not let go, and she raises it up with sufficient effort to toss back the blue locks, exhaling from the surprise.
She moves nearer to Shinji (and Kaworu as well, by the transitive property). Her feet get beneath her. "You can hold your breath," Rei says. "I will hold you still."
The diamond-net is nearer to golden-fire now. "Look," Rei says, shifting an arm across Shinji's lower back to brace him. "It looks so far."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji's grip on both of them squeezes in reflexively, the fear enough to keep him from being self-conscious. For a moment he's sure he's going to drown, but it's only water in his nose. He breathes, eyes a little wider than they should be.
Then he calms again, several rapid cycles of his heartbeat later. Don't run.
Breathe low. Hold high. Simple enough. Shinji hesitates, though. Until Rei is there. His face does redden now, but there is too much abyssal danger to even dare pulling away from her. (Shinji can still stand in the water just fine.)
Reassurance, both physical and verbal. Shinji tries again, deep breath first -- comically too much of one -- and his feet let go of the earth a second time.
His head's under briefly, panic threatening him in his pulse, but Rei is there and he stays until the waves are gone. He breaths, staring out as he blinks water from his lashes. Then he looks, seeing the glitter sand and sea under the sky's low light. It reflects in his eyes, wonder grasping him for a moment without fear.
It holds, beautiful and serene, until another small wave smacks him in the face. But this time, Shinji only coughs a bit before he begins to sputter with a helpless laugh.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
The push and pull of the waves as they roll in and recede creates an additional pressure to simply floating. As Rei tucks her legs and lets herself float, Kaworu remains on his good leg and lets the other soak in the saltwater. She moves closer to the both of them, and Kaworu does likewise.
He's always, always, always wanting to be closer to Shinji. If he's letting Rei closer, then surely it's all right if he slips his arm tighter around his too. At the same time, Shinji sucks in a deep breath and lets himself drop, bobbing below the water until the waves pass. Kaworu sinks with him and rises with him, legs drifting up as if to sit on the water. When he stands again, it's with only one leg, letting the other drift in the push and pull of the waves.
The three of them float, gazing off towards the burning gold. But when Shinji sputters and begins to laugh, Kaworu laughs as well, looking first at him with a deep love--before looking up to meet Rei's eyes.
He doesn't say it. He doesn't mouth it. But his smile conveys his gratitude all the same.
They're united here by how much they care about him, aren't they? And as cold as the water may be, he feels warm.
"How do you feel?" he murmurs, his lips close to Shinji's ear.
<Pose Tracker> Rei Ayanami has posed.
Are they still?
It feels that way. There is nothing out there in the direction away from the beach. There are no ships to be seen, just now; no boats that can be made out from this position. The heavens, gradually cooling from the blue-hot glow of the day, are changing color too gradually to be quite perceived from one second to the next. The glitter of light on the waves changes, but the change has a pattern; static, as well as dynamic.
Rei's arm tenses slightly. Supporting.
Her eyes turn towards Shinji and past Shinji -- her thoughts turning to Kaworu again, meeting his eyes almost by accident. There is a moment of red-upon-red and then her eyes turn down, demurring somehow. Embarrassment, perhaps. Simply being caught looking.
If her face is turning pink, it is *impossible* to tell.
Shinji's laugh surprises her and she blinks several times, looking to him. But he does not seem to be frightened; he is in control. Rei shifts one leg to trail toes and then feet in the sand, but her eyes turn then back out towards the horizon.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Breathe. Hold. Breathe. Hold. Shinji begins to find the rhythm of it, and the rhythm of Rei and Kaworu's own buoyancy within the water. If he tenses, it's only the reflexive fear they might let go and abandon him to sink under the waves. They wouldn't.
Scarier than daring to acknowledge humans can float is acknowledging that. Fortunately for Shinji, he doesn't have to think about either truth. Both happen. Both simply are.
So that serenity returns, undeterred. Shinji stares out at the glittering water, gold in the light. The world's empty. A comfortable, safe void, overwhelmingly beyond him, not unlike the feeling of staring at the stars beyond. But Shinji isn't alone in it.
"It's..." The only hesitation now is from trying to find a word that could scarcely answer Kaworu's question. Unable to find one, Shinji borrows theirs.
"...Pleasant," he breathes, his tone conveying the embers of reverence.
Yes, the ocean is pleasant. But it receives misguided credit for a comfortable stirring of warmth in this moment shared by the three of them.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
In the ocean, nothing is ever still. But the way one feels about something is often as important as the way it actually is. Kaworu, who lives by truths and who must often hide them, has come to learn how true that is over time. ...Though he won't ever stop being himself, either.
He catches Rei's eye, and she looks down, her cheeks too pink in the setting sunlight to betray what color they might otherwise be. Whatever its meaning, Kaworu is content to smile enough in gratitude at her to squeeze his own eyes shut.
And Shinji... calms. He breathes that it is pleasant, admiring the beauty of this place and this moment with them. Kaworu turns his tender smile to him too, a deep gladness welling up within him. Just as he'd wished for his happiness, he wishes for his in return... It feels more true than ever now.
Just seeing Shinji happy makes Kaworu so happy, too.
And so he gazes out again with his companions at the sunset as they float, humming the euphonious notes of an ancient song. He'll stay with them, basking in their company as they all bask in the sunset, until it's time to return to the shore.