2023-07-11: A Whale's 'Weight'

• Log: A Whale's 'Weight'
• Cast: Ruri Hoshino, Riika Sheder
• Where: Orb Union - The Nadesico
• Date: 2023-07-11
• Summary: Riika comes to visit Ruri, after the events of her birthday. They talk about the most impossible foe in Dozoo Degwa... and also, about Alexis, and the abuse he enacts on others. (The abuse he enacted on Ruri.) Ruri shares her feelings on it all with Riika, and Riika helps orient her to what Alexis was doing, all that time. She has another gift for her, too: a book on Evidence-01, a flying whale which wasn't corrupted by Jirak.

---

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        The Nadesico was KAIJU FUMIGATED, after the events of Chaos Jirak. They kicked everyone out so they could go through and clean it all. It was a very trying time. Yurika had words about it.

        Luckily, there are no more motes of chaos lingering about the Nadesico, now -- everyone's been let back on, to settle back in. Omoikane said, < WELCOME HOME ! >, and that settled their nerves a little.

        Ruri's not at work right now, at least -- she's said she's fine to go back to her duties, but for some reason everyone's insisting that she take it easy for a couple of days. She thinks this is a little weird, but she won't make a fuss. She's in the recreation room, instead, watching two of the men from Maintenance play a game on the ping-pong table as she taps away at her own game on a tablet.

        (It's Dozoo Degwa. She's quite good, even if Rena keeps beating her.)

        Conveniently, any friends who might want to visit Ruri here have a SECRET WEAPON -- Omoikane, who will happily guide friendlies to Ruri's location, particularly any who might be visitors and not entirely sure where she'd be.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

Riika likes the Nadesico.

It's not really like the ships she was with in ZAFT, which tended to be run along more strictly military lines, especially after she got assigned to live combat (well, that makes sense at least). Nor is it quite like the feel of the Ra Mari II, though it's closer; the Ra Mari feels like a town, as big as it is.

No, the Nadesico has its own feel, and though she's never lived on it she's always happy to visit. Such as today! Officially, she is here to pick up some equipment she left after the Svalinn deployed from it and returned home for repairs, something delayed by KAIJU FUMIGATION; unofficially she wanted to see Ruri again.

Fortunately, she takes direction well from Omoikane. Riika likes Omoikane; she suspects he's more intelligent and aware than he lets on to people who aren't generally on the ship themselves, but that doesn't bother her. Rather the opposite, in that she's taken to saying hello to Omoikane too when she's on board or hailing the Nadesico.

Such as today, when he gets a cheerful "Thanks!" before she heads off to the rec hall. Well, room. It's not quite big enough to be a hall.

It's a public room, this time, so Riika doesn't actually knock or buzz this time like she often does shipboard; she just walks in, a satchel carried with her - oh, it's some of her spare tools and a datapad with technical notes, what she came to pick up. "Hello!" she says, cheerfully, so that Ruri knows she's not being snuck up on; Riika hates it when people do it to her. "Is this a bad time?"

No, she's not going to interrupt the ping-pong game, though she does watch for a moment.

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        Omoikane recognises a friendly face when he sees one; he's always been quite warm, to Riika. Perhaps he has the sense that she's a friend to computer? His cheerful reply, via communication window, is a thumbs up graphic and a framed message:

                                < NO PROB ! >

        The maintenance fellas go, "hey, Riika!", when she comes on in -- even the background characters here know most of the familiar faces, by now, and the Nadesico's a pretty welcoming place. (Even if it's a little odd.) Ruri, too, looks up, pausing her game.

        "Hello," her own greeting is more proper, though it can't be called cold -- just reserved, which is Ruri's way, really. "No, you're not interrupting anything. I was just practicing Dozoo Degwa... it's set to single player, right now, so I don't need to worry about pausing it." She shows Riika the screen, to demonstrate that no players were harmed in the pausing of this game.

        "It's good to see you, Riika-san," she says -- and says it mildly, her face is still quite stoic, but maybe that's why she's just saying how she feels instead of leaving Riika to guess. "Do you want to sit down?" She's sitting on a bench; there's even another, set beside it, for when all the pilots want to sit beside the vending machine and glug their drinks.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

Riika is the sort of person who makes friends everywhere, and not just with Omoikane; she smiles towards the maintenance folks, but doesn't otherwise take them out of their game. That's for them!

She cranes her neck to look at the Dozoo Degwa stage: "Rena got me playing that, too, when I was recovering from injuries a while back," she says. "I hadn't played it before, but she lent it to me at one point... I'm okay at it, but it's a fun way to spend some time." She's actually pretty good at it, but Riika isn't going to brag about it. (Plus, there is every chance that Ruri is a lot better than she is.)

"I think I will; thank you!" Riika seats herself, lowering herself lightly. "It's good to see you, too... I didn't really get a chance to, before." She looks Ruri over for a moment, before asking, "How are you feeling?" She's not going to insult Ruri by treating her like a child; she asks exactly the same way she would ask someone in her maintenance team. "I know things have been pretty... um, eventful. Omoikane said the ship was good again, at least."

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        Don't worry, this is a fierce game with their pride as men on the line. There's a whole Thing about it going on in the background. There is usually a whole Thing going on in the background, on this ship.

        "Rena-san introduced me, too," Ruri says, expression gentling. "I hadn't seen it before, but I'm happy I know about it now. Well, one day I'll beat Rena, I think." It's important to have dreams in life, Ruri.

        (Apparently, she's never beaten Rena before...? Even someone like Ruri can't match a true Dozoo Degwa devotee...)

        Ruri pauses, her head canting as she considers the question. (And the hair-ties keeping her twintails up are green Haros, now, not red orbs.) "Well, there's some things I don't entirely remember," she says, after a moment. "Since I guess I was dreaming, inside Chaos Jirak. I don't normally remember my dreams at all, so I suppose it makes sense how it's kind of jumbled up. But when I woke up, I saw how everyone was fighting for me... and you, too." Ruri dips her head, and says, still quite proper: "Thank you for that."

        Looking back to Riika, again, she blinks those big gold eyes. "I... I mean, I knew Mr. Kerib wasn't a good person," she settles on, after a moment. "Of course I was angry with him for what he did to Ms. Shinjo. And on the Garuda, too. Actually, I think that's why he did this... since I was harsh to him about that. I guess he realised I wouldn't just go along with him, when I wouldn't leave it alone. But..."

        Ruri sighs, and looks over to that pitched ping-pong pattle. (It's like a battle, but alliterative.) "I feel a little responsible, since I still kept talking to him. I guess... he just wasn't being unreasonable to me, and... I wanted the attention." Her shoulders sink, just a little, and there's a subtle shade of melancholy over her features. "The Captain says I take responsibility for too many things, so I guess it's probably not really my fault, but it bothers me."

        Ruri, who is fourteen, doesn't really have a grasp of the fact that abuse works, and the reason Alexis could sneak in past her boundaries is entirely because he's a bad actor. She might be a genius, but she's still a child. ... he took full advantage of that.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

Riika is not qualified to talk about games with that particular item on the line. She mostly stays out of the way when it comes out.

"She's very good," Riika agrees. "I never have, either. Maybe I should practice against you instead, sometime - or with you. We'd probably have a bit more of a chance if we worked together to learn how to win against her."

Perhaps one day, the legendary Rena Lancaster will be defeated on the battleground of Dozoo Degwa...

...but not today, presumably. Riika shakes her head. "It's not a problem. It's something that needed to be done, and I'd do it again... but you're welcome." It's important to Ruri to thank her, so it's important for Riika to accept the thanks. Her smile is once again present, and honest.

"...I was angry with him too, and I wasn't even as closely involved in that. I certainly don't blame you for telling him off. But..." Riika isn't quite sure how to phrase what she means, but once again decides honesty and directness is the best policy.

"It's a shame that it came to that, but it isn't really your fault! He knows what to say, to make himself sound right, and to make you listen to him. I know, because he did it to me, too, remember? Even when people told me it was a bad idea, I still took him up on it. He offered me something, and I agreed when I shouldn't have; I attacked the Federation bomb depot. You never did anything like that. So... I'm proud of you for saying no, honestly. Even if it did lead to this - but that's not your fault either. Just his. Good people don't respond to being told 'no' by trapping someone in a kaiju and attacking their friends. What he did was a dirty trick!" Riika makes sure to emphasize the fact that it wasn't Ruri's attack, even if she was in it, dreaming.

"I can't imagine what it was in like to be in it, but ... is it weird to say that it makes sense that you don't remember? I mean, you said, it was like a dream." Riika shakes her head, more to herself than Ruri. How bad would it have been if it wasn't a dream?

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        "That's a good idea," Ruri agrees, with a nod. "We might be able to do it if we work together. Rena-san's a significant opponent, after all. Even with everything I've learned from her, she's still the best player I've faced."

        But it's DEFINITELY a long-term project. Today's project, instead --

        Feelings. Ruri has a lot of them, even if her face doesn't tend to reflect them. She feels gratitude to Riika, of course, even if it's something Riika embraced doing without hesitation. And... she has more complicated feelings, about what happened to her.

        She listens, when Riika talks about it, too. Anyone would be angry, she reflects; Minato told her something much the same, too, but it hits differently when someone who's dealt with Alexis herself says it. And the way Alexis knows what to say, too...

        Ruri nods, when Riika asks if she remembers. She does. It's what made her tell on Alexis, back then, too.

        "... yeah," Ruri agrees, her legs swinging a little under the bench. "It does make sense. I mean, I remember parts of it... Ranka-san was singing, I think... but it's all a little indistinct. I think people were trying to reach me, though. But for some reason, I was being stubborn, right...? I remember feeling alienated. Well, that's something Mr. Kerib emphasised in me since we met, so I guess it was another dirty trick."

        She pauses, for a moment, and says: "I guess it's better that I couldn't really pay attention, though. The therapy bills would be bothersome if I knew what was going on when Chaos Jirak was attacking everyone using my power. I think Mr. Prospector would be very troubled by that." That's -- well, it's not WRONG, but --

        (Wait, who IS their counselor on this ship? Is it Inez? Oh god, it's Inez, isn't it.)

        "But..." Ruri pauses, again, and shakes her head. "You're right, Riika-san. I kept thinking... I couldn't be sure if he was really a bad guy, because he kept saying things which made me think it was more complicated than that. I guess I wanted to help him if I could... I thought that would help a lot of other people, too, since he hurts people a lot. I guess he was just using that, though. It's weird to think it wasn't sincere. He's... had thousands of years of experience, though, I guess... considering that, it's not surprising he knows how to get what he wants out of anyone. Well, me, too." She wants to call herself a fool, but she's not entirely sure if Alexis might not be the fool, here, considering what Riika's saying, so she elects to go by a zero-fool settlement.

        "Maybe I should talk to Ms. Shinjo about it someday... but I'm embarrassed, too. If she said I should have known better after what happened to her, I couldn't really say she was wrong. Though, I should have known better after what happened to you, too... but no, that's not right," Ruri shakes her head, again. "It's like you said. He knows what to say. Mm... maybe it's just going to bother me for a while. I don't know... I guess that's normal. Since he was talking to me for a long time, after all."

        With a smaller voice, she admits: "I thought we were friends." She and Alexis were both alienated from the world. That's the story he sold her, back then. It was a good one.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

It's important to have a long-term project... even if that project is trying to figure out how to beat one of your friends at a puzzle game.

Maybe especially if that project is figuring out how to beat one of your friends at a puzzle game.

But because it is long-term, Riika can leave it for now. "Right, she was," Riika agrees with Ruri. "Singing, I mean; I could hear it over the speakers, though I didn't want to interrupt it. And everyone was talking. I know Lucine could hear you best," or at all, "so some of us followed her lead, at the end..."

"...you sounded like you felt you didn't belong, or fit in. And I wanted to say, then, that that's everybody, a little bit. I don't fit in a lot of places, either... and I don't mean physically, though it does annoy me when people put things on the high shelves if we're going to be in Earth gravity," Riika adds, sounding half-joking at the end - it's certainly something Ruri is as used to as she is. (Probably more.)

"But there's a certain kind of person who's very good at sounding like they're making sense, and that they're on your side, when they're really not. I think Alexis is one of those. Like you said... he's old enough, he knows enough to get under people's skin. I hate it when people act like that," she confesses.

Then Riika agrees, "If you want to talk to Akane - Ms. Shinjo - it may not be a bad idea. I don't know if she's able to talk about it; some people are better at talking about themselves than other people. But it's a good skill to have. As for the counselor bills, you should not be worrying about that! That's someone else's job; it's part of medical funding. You wouldn't go into work with a broken foot without getting it looked at; why should you go in with a broken heart without getting that looked at too? Even if it's not quite what they usually mean by broken heart..." Taken aback slightly by Ruri's casual admittance of that... maybe the Nadesico being capitalist instead of military isn't all good.

(Don't tell Riika that they're frequently two sides of the same coin. She already knows.)

More quietly, because she doesn't really want any stray ping-pongers to hear, "You do have friends. Honest friends. I'd like to think I'm one of them, but even so - Omoikane is one, and your friends on the Nadesico. Everybody's different, and a little alone - making friends is finding ways to pull together anyway."

And then she brightens up. "Oh! I do have something for you, actually, while I'm thinking about it. Hold on, it's in my bag..." She opens it up and starts to dig through it.

Ruri is probably aware that Riika already gave her a gift (a serious-looking but fancy journal with actual paper, with a pen that had a wood casing made of reclaimed wood; both are luxuries on board a ship, where tablets are the order of the day). So this is something else.

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        "High shelves are problematic," Ruri agrees, with a proper little nod. She doesn't interrupt Riika too much as she's speaking, though, listening to the way she talks about how Ruri didn't feel like she fit in, and the way Alexis exploited that. "I think some people are too comfortable lying," she agrees, at the end, instead. "Well, I lie sometimes, too, but I don't like lying to make people do things. It's just the only way to protect people, sometimes." Like, say, her Super AI best friend. Super AI aren't exactly... welcome, everywhere in the world.

        The Nadesico is certainly a capitalist ship. Sometimes that's better than being military! And sometimes their accountant is on the bridge trying to tell them not to fire missiles because those missiles cost so much money. (Not to mention that one of their most prized advisors is an accountant in the first place.) "Okay," she says. "I'll try not to worry about the bills. And... maybe I'll talk to Ms. Shinjo later," she says, with a thoughtful tone. "I think it's a bad time, right now, since she just escaped the Garuda. But it might be a good idea after she's... well, after we're both feeling better, I guess." Considering what just happened, they've both gone through grief, haven't they?

        She tilts her head again, though, legs swinging under the bench. "Something else?" She asks, curious. "After everyone left, I wrote down the names of all the people who helped me that day in the journal you gave me... I thought that was a good use of pen and paper." What one uses actual paper and real ink on is worth some consideration, after all.

        But of course, this must be something else, and Ruri's curiosity even shines through her stoic expression.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

"People say lying is always bad," Riika says, "but just about everyone does it. 'Little white lies'... Sometimes I wish we didn't need them, but even if we didn't, you don't need to say everything you think or know about someone or something."

This may include Omoikane. This probably includes Omoikane.

"You can send her a message even if you aren't able to talk to her," Riika says. "An email... but, yes, it might be best to wait a little bit. Because both of you could use some time to recover. Also, unless I misremembered the school schedule she's on, she just finished exams and she's probably worrying about the results."

Riika, who went to school entirely on scholarships, knows well the worry about exam time. Even if you expect to do well!

"Oh, that's a good use for it. When I had a journal, I used it to remind myself of things... and write down things I thought was important. I found it helped me get my thoughts in order. It's like talking to someone, except it's private - you can keep it to yourself. Oh, here it is!" Riika finally pulls out an item - flat, not that large - but she keeps her hand over it.

"I felt a little bad about asking for your whale to be destroyed," Riika says, "even if it did have Chaos Jirak... well, you know. And I can't really replace it the same way, but I thought I'd get you something from the PLANTs, instead."

She moves her hand, revealing a book. The book (which is really meant for adults and a little advanced for someone's Ruri's age, but she's pretty sure that won't matter) is a historical book about the finding and study of Evidence-01 - a fossilized winged whale found in the Jupiter Sphere during the Jupiter Exploration Project, returned by George Glenn. It actually talks a lot about George Glenn's expedition in general

"If you want to see the actual fossil, it's in a museum in Aprilius," Riika says. "I saw it a few years ago myself, since I was on Aprilius when I graduated from academy... It's a little easier to get to these days for non-PLANT citizens than it used to be, with the PLANT government talking with the Earth Sphere. I can't bring that here, but I really liked this book. And I know it's not quite a whale, but I thought you might be interested, too."

<Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.

        "Sometimes it's better not to say everything," Ruri agrees, quite serious. "Omoikane doesn't like lying, though, so I handle it." It's a very grown-up sort of thing to do. Unfortunately.

        Ruri blinks, when Riika mentions exams. "Oh," she says, surprised. "I graduated a long time ago, I think, so I didn't think about it... that's a good point."

        She looks pleased -- if mildly so, her expression never shifts that much -- when Riika decides that she's put her gift to good use. "I like it," she agrees. And -- a flat item!

        "Oh?" Ruri asks, as she reaches out to take the book. Her expression gentles, and -- for a moment -- she even smiles. Don't blink, or you'll miss it. She's still figuring out how that expression works. "An old whale..."

        She hugs the book to herself, and nods, to Riika. "I love underwater animals," she says. "Like fish, and rays, and whales... they've been my favourites since before I can remember. And I was sad, about the whale... I've had that since before I can remember, too. But my fish were okay -- and it's not your fault," she's sure to emphasise. "It's Mr. Kerib's fault, for making Jirak possess it. When it happened... I knew my whale was Jirak, then. I recognised him." Which must have been how Omoikane knew to warn everyone of him, by name. "I don't think I was the first one who did, but I can't really explain the feeling... I want to think of Ms. Shinjo, but that's not quite right."

        She's still holding the book to herself, as she says: "But this whale is good, too. I'll definitely go and see the fossil if the Captain will take me, someday. I don't think it's bad to dream of flying with whales. I think it's important to remember that, even after what Chaos Jirak did." Why it's important is...

        Well, some stories ended a long time ago.

        But Ruri's is just beginning.

<Pose Tracker> Riika Sheder has posed.

Ruri graduated? Riika supposes she must have, to be in charge of so much.

And yet - it still feels so wrong to her. At Ruri's age, Riika was firmly still in school; it's not too unusual for a PLANTs citizen (that is to say, a Coordinator) to graduate from high school at sixteen or seventeen, but Ruri isn't nearly that old, and she's been on the Nadesico since - what? The first time Riika met her, she was thirteen, so at least that long, but she seemed established then too.

"Um, yeah," is her slightly awkward response. "Exams are a real pain... I mean, I don't really mind taking them, but it's stressful waiting for the results. And if it's in something you aren't good at, and don't enjoy, but have to take anyway... Honestly, I like learning so there's not much I really dislike, but I was never very good at biology. It doesn't make nearly as much sense as mechanics to me."

Hearing that Alexis chose, intentionally, to pervert something Ruri loved, something that she had a special attachment for, makes Riika upset. It doesn't show too much; she's not all bad at hiding her expressions either, and only lets it out when Ruri mentions Alexis herself. "You recognized him...? I suppose you must have, if you were sharing a dream with him." Maybe this is where Akane got her kaiju, now that Riika thinks about it. She didn't make one the same way, and never asked Akane in case it hurt.

But Ruri smiles, then, and the gift - and the effort she had to make to get the book quickly, because a book written about the first Coordinator in a positive way is not always easy to come across in the Earth Sphere, though Orb's about the best place for it - seems worth it. "If she doesn't have time, I can take you, sometime, when you get leave. I've been there before, I'm not wanted there anymore, and I'd like to see the PLANTs again..." They don't entirely feel like home, anymore, but she does miss them.

Riika stands, then. "I should probably start to get back before they wonder where I got lost," she admits. "Thank you for your time, and I'm glad you're doing so well - and you should definitely write me a message sometime. If nothing else, we can figure out Dozoo Degwa, but if there's anything else you need. Or Omoikane!" She doesn't need to raise her voice. He can be listening and she'd never know.

But she looks a little wistful. "I'm glad you have a dream. I don't think it's bad, either. Chaos Jirak is a memory you have, but having good memories, too - that's the most important of all. I hope you get to fly with the whales."

"Happy late birthday, Ruri."