2024-10-07: .so the Empress's will shatters my memorieS
- Log: .so the Empress's will shatters my memorieS
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2024-10-07
- Summary: Yuliana's in a MOOD, so Elisa takes her off to go watch a movie... only for that film to remind them of what Ranka said, on their last date. Yuliana grows unsteady, as she examines her patchy memories, but Elisa is here to support her -- and to encourage her, as she insists she wants to act under her own power, instead of as someone else's instrument. It's different with Elisa, isn't it?
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana was in a terrible mood, this morning; she tossed a teapot into the wall, over breakfast, and had awful things to say to the servant who recoiled in fear. (They shouldn't have sent up Ceylon tea when she specifically requested green tea! It's their own fault!) Luckily for everyone, her wife is here --
And looking at her now, you'd never know she was in a rage over such petty mistakes.
Yuliana is draped in her wife's lap, and in her own lap, steadied by tentacles, is a bowl of popcorn. The theatre is one of the few rooms in the Castle with electricity, and the screen is playing a re-enactment of an ancient Soviet film, just as Yuliana likes it. (It's been playing for two hours, with no signs of stopping.) She's all smiles, now, legs dangling merrily lengthways as her head rests on Elisa's shoulder.
She isn't just watching the film, though. Her attention is frequently stolen by Elisa, as she gazes up to her with lovestruck sighs, or takes some of those kernels of popcorn to slip into Elisa's mouth. It's a sacrifice of food she could have eaten, made into an offering to God... is that why it's so nourishing?
Certainly, she doesn't look violent now. (And these transient violent rages are quite normal, for Yuliana; it's only when her mood doesn't improve with Elisa's efforts that something's clearly gone awry.) Her fingers linger softly by Elisa's lips, and when they fall, they press lightly into the fabric at her chest. Beside Elisa, she is the Gentle Mistress, and the title isn't always ironic.
She's all wrapped up in admiring her wife again... even as the woman on screen rends her dress in anguish over forgetting her first lover.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa Kafim was there. She is here. And she is pleased to see her wife's rages. They are so much better than certain alternatives...
Well, not that she won't soothe them. It would be a problem to terrorize the servants too much.
Elisa accepts what is her due, and eats some popcorn now and then. She is also watching the film, though mostly she's watching Yuliana watch the film. It's enough that she can keep up with the plot and characters such that Yuliana will not be disappointed if she tries to discuss them.
The whole experience is quite nourishing.
"My darling," Elisa says to Yuliana. "It is a pleasing day, isn't it?"
"...But the character reminds me... I had a matter I wished to discuss with you."
"The matter of that girl, Ranka..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
A little terror is fine, of course.
"Everything's wonderful now," Yuliana sighs, sick with her affection. "I was ever so cross, but you always make me feel better, zhenushka. Ahh, it's so cosy!" She chirps, wriggling in delight as her hands clasp in front of her exposed neck.
She blinks, though, looking to the screen. "Ah? Oh, yes, she'll have realised by now. What she's forgotten..." Yuliana's delight dims to a more serious expression, as she frowns at the projection.
"It was so weird," she says, quietly. "She said... they were there. And I think I must have known that, but... I forgot. But why would I forget?" She frowns, looking up to her wife again. "Was I not only acting mad, back then? We wanted the Republic to believe I couldn't help myself... so I was pretending to be compelled. That's what I thought, but... but it's gotten so blurry," she says, glancing back away, her lashes a veil to hide her endless eyes. "Even the next time, I... I remember that it hurt. I danced with one of our Sisters, didn't I? And -- I think Leyasha was there -- was she the one? No, she's not yet our Sister... she didn't want me to dance. But that wasn't an act, so I came undone... but it wasn't an act before, either? Then, did I just go too far?"
"Oh," Yuliana sighs, overcome, as her head sinks against Elisa's shoulder. "Elya, my head hurts... I can't make sense of it. Can you...?" ... it's a request, not a question.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Of course!
"It is," Elisa agrees. She is pleased. But now, of course... Yuliana is frowning, but Elisa is sure that it is important. She and her wife must discuss this... weird matter.
Yuliana wonders, and Elisa watches her, staring deeply into her eyes. She remembers, of course. She remembers well, despite the distance between now and then which feels so significant. "...The Empress was involved, back then. At first you pretended. But then it was also real."
"It was too much; we did not know, at the time, that it would be. Too much for you, who stopped upon hearing Her voice. Too much for the crippled Fold engines that we tried to use."
"You did not go too far. But there are reasons it did not work..."
"Reasons it is best. You did not yet have your Armor, after all." A pause. "So it is natural that you do not fully remember."
She holds Yuliana, there.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana can't look away from her wife long, in a situation like this. Her strange green eyes are deep pools, but it's Elisa's she falls into. She feels all the more opened up to her, the longer she looks into her eyes.
"The Empress... was involved?" She asks, voice small. "Even then... She was working through me? I... I thought I was acting..."
She sighs, turning her body in against Elisa's. "I... I remember," she says, slowly. "I became -- I spoke, I -- knew Her hunger, written on me. I wasn't used to it, Elya... back then, my dreams were so abstract. Smashed glass, and the falling... it took time for me to comprehend Her glory. At first, I didn't even know... what I was looking at. And so, to hear Her so clearly, I..."
She whispers: "I feared I would break apart."
And, more quietly: "I knew Her in greater truth, after that."
Yuliana hides in Elisa's arms, her bowl of popcorn tilting precariously as her legs curl in against the couch, hands clutching at her robes. "It frightens me," she admits, burying her face against the crook of Elisa's neck. "Even most of those Newtypes... need machines to violate the laws of reality. It's not normal! Why can I do such a thing?!"
(Well, she wouldn't be most Newtypes, even if she were the same as all the others.)
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"You were, at first. ...But then, no."
But Elisa hears Yuliana remember, and speaks of it. How she wasn't used to it... yes. Of course. "You were right to fear," Elisa says. "Unshielded, the Empress was willing to tear you apart to reclaim you."
A pause. "...Yes."
But Yuliana hides, and Elisa attends the popcorn such that it doesn't fall, as easily as anything after her priority of Yuliana. And those machines... Well...
"Because the Void is powerful," Elisa says. "And the Empress is powerful. You can bring in the Void... and through it, She can act."
"The 'Newtypes' alter reality in their small ways, but they do not have someone behind them prepared to enact Will upon the world."
"But I will free you. I will ensure that you can use your power for you."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"So I was playing in the beginning, but it got out of hand... I guess. Haa, that happens to me so much..." Yuliana's frills wilt, because consequences are her least favourite thing.
One hand, trapped between her chest and Elisa's, reaches to herself to grasp at her own heart as Elisa affirms her insight to be true. The Empress will stop at nothing to grasp her... not even her own health.
(Did Yuliana do that to Her, when She carved those parts of Herself away to send Elisa to Earth..?)
She barely notices Elisa placing the bowl of popcorn on the couch beside them, but to take the opportunity to curl more tightly into her wife. The Void is powerful, and...
"I'm just an instrument of Her Will... that's why?" Yuliana asks, clutching herself to her wife. "I've always... been a tool for the person behind me. Even when I thought I was the engineer... oh, Elya, I want to scream! I must be more than that!"
Her voice does raise, but it at least quiets down, soon enough. "I know... I know you'll save me," she says, breathing out. "You've always set me free, Elya..."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Consequences are terrible. But Elisa cannot shield Yuliana from all of them. ...Some, though. Definitely some.
"You are far more than that," Elisa says. "Only you can open the way. She cannot do it Herself. She must rely on you."
So must Elisa, but they're married. That's normal!
"...And one day," Elisa says, "When we are free... it will be your will that you impose. Your will that you show to the world. I look forward to your splendour."
A hug, then. She strokes Yuliana's hair. "I will. Worry not for that."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
How could consequences happen to Yuliana? Unfair, really.
She sighs, nodding against her wife. "Mm... if I wasn't here..." ... and she trails off, because if she wasn't here, doesn't that mean the Earth would be safer?
But... it isn't fair. She didn't ask for it.
She focuses on her wife, instead, turning her face so that she can gaze up to her from her position all huddled against her. Her eyelids lower, with a soothed hum, as she feels Elisa's fingertips through her hair and the strong feeling of her arms around her. "Thank you," she murmurs, and because she's thanking her for two things, "... thank you."
She's always... so happy when Elisa remembers how tactile she is. She really does feel better...
"I'm so sick of just being the instrument... haa, not that I mind feeding your strength, Elya. I chose to offer myself to you... that's different. But the Republic, the Empress, they both just, use me... as if I were nothing but the knife they held. They made me a captive in my own body... I can't stand it. You're the only one who really values me, Elya..."
(Surely that isn't true. What about the people of the PPL? But Yuliana isn't looking at them, right now. She's gazing into her wife's eyes, and no one else's. Does anyone else even exist, right now...?)
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Perish such thoughts. You are here, and all shall tremble."
Elisa smiles. This is fair, instead. This is what will be fair. And Elisa holds her still. She does remember--she even has the will to focus on it, now. But what she says...
"I support your strength," Elisa says. "The 'you' that can use others, instead of being used. I value you, my darling."
After all... they want her to be weak, in any case. Elisa will not bring them up. She is the only one.
Elisa gazes into Yuliana's eyes.
"I love you, my darling. ...You are far, far more than anyone realizes."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"All shall tremble," Yuliana echoes her wife, fondly.
If she can use others, she won't be used... isn't that what she's always believed? Doesn't that make sense? If she's the one hurting them... she won't be hurt. So long as she's on top...
But she doesn't have to be afraid. Elisa values her. She supports her. Even if she slips up, Elisa would never treat her as unkindly as the Republic did when they sensed weakness. She's safe, here.
And she looks into her eyes, and she is held twice over, in her gaze and in her arms. She shivers, with the force of it.
"I love you," she offers, in turn. "You've always seen me for what I really am."
She reaches up a hand, to gently press her fingers to her wife's cool cheek.
"... you've always believed in me... I truly rely on it. Oh, Elya..."
Surely no one's ever been more in love than she is, at this moment.