2024-08-03: My Manipulated Wife
- Log: My Manipulated Wife
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2024-08-03
- Summary: Yuliana doesn't feel well, after being reminded of the worse aspects of her marriage by Leina's concern. Elisa makes sure she's taken care of... and once Yuliana's told her everything, Elisa gives her the space she clearly needs to process her feelings, regardless of how desperate Yuliana is for her presence and reassurance. (CW: Domestic abuse)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpLCx-fkEX0 Taylor Swift - Guilty as Sin?
Predictably, as soon as Elisa left Yuliana to take care of some afternoon business, she tried to get in contact with Leina again. And succeeded, this time; her eyes are a little red when she sees her wife again, but she's more or less cleaned up and calm. If anything, she's more affectionate -- clingy -- than she was that morning.
The next day saw her plunge into a notable downswing, short of temper and even more easily-frustrated than normal, but she doesn't talk about it. Oh, she'll say what's annoying her -- but it's what annoying her right now. People being late with her tea, or dropping her c-spanner for the TENTH TIME! (it was the third), or getting asked if she's feeling okay. Luckily for everyone, she remains quite glued to her wife throughout her sour moods, which limits how much she can be unleashed upon the residents of the Castle.
It almost might seem productive, except... Yuliana didn't rouse properly, this morning. She usually wakes up properly around six, a piece of long-standing military discipline she actually absorbed; it's nine am now, and she's still tangled up with Elisa, lying on her side under a plethora of furs.
And it's not even for the usual reasons! She's just still sleeping!
They've missed breakfast, by now, and that means they've missed Yuliana's morning medications too. Her temperature has begun to drop; it's subtle, right now, with the way her previous body heat is still trapped beneath the furs, but Elisa can tell. She's feeling cold, after all...
(And miserable.)
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It's not convenient, that Yuliana makes so much time for Leina. That she is so affected by Leina. Sure, it makes her affectionate. Sure, she's cleaned up. But the next day's downswing...
Elisa knows why. She doesn't have to ask. And internally, she seethes about it, though she doesn't let on to her wife. She is Strong, after all.
But this morning...
Elisa waits. And waits. And waits.
Until abruptly she is not waiting. Elisa removes herself from the tangle and rises, moving to slip on her robes (the fabric is warmer than her flesh) and then picks Yuliana up. She just scoops her up into her arms and places her on a chair. "Darling," she says. "It is time for your medicine."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Nuuuuuh," Yuliana whines, when Elisa disentangles herself, clutching absently at her robes. It's not hard to get away from her; she's more exhausted than tenacious, right now. When she's gone, a tentacle reaches up to pull her furs up over her head, as Yuliana disappears into the Furs Dimension.
(It's like the Blanket Dimension, but furs are harder to cut through, LEINA.)
But then she's scooped up, furs and all, and her legs kickas she clutches to her wife. "NUUUUUUH," she whines, louder.
All a sudden, she's upright. And immediately she lists to the side, oozing over the arm of the chair. "Dunwanna," she whines, "'m cold'n sad." Of course she's cold; she hasn't taken her morning medications, yet, including the inhaler Elisa specifically designed to address her inability to maintain her own core temperature.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Nuh. Yes, that is a syllable.
Elisa does not cut up their furs. Those are expensive, and it's not necessary, because Elisa can lift the whole mass in the first place. Instead... Yuliana kicks. And she is suddenly upright. Yuliana tries not to stay upright, but Elisa is not to be deterred. After she picks up the inhaler, she rights Yuliana's posture, holding her up with a hand.
Just one.
"The medicine will make you warm," Elisa says. She does not say anything at first about sad.
But she considers.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
It's Yuliana's favourite syllable, when she's in this kind of mood, leaden and paralysed and weighed down by Earth's gravity. She does get like this, sometimes, as surely as she's all full of fire and vengeance other days. As if her human shell can't sustain all her righteous energy -- and she periodically burns out.
(Yuliana isn't the only human to deal with this problem, but surely she's the only one who matters.)
With no fight left in her, though, Yuliana is easily righted by one of Elisa's hands. She blinks, blearily, looking up to her wife, and at least goes so far as to put her lips over the spacer to breathe in the medicine. One... two... three... four.
Each breath is a trial.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Earth's gravity should be gentler on Yuliana. Perhaps Elisa will teach it a lesson. ...But perhaps not. Not today. She is busy.
Busy dealing with her wife burning out. Other humans can wait.
Each breath is a trial, but Elisa is steadfast until the medicine is administered. Then she looks to Yuliana's face again. "Soon, you will be warm," she says, "...Breakfast would give you energy."
"...It is a pity, that this has been done to you. But I shall be with you."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Dunwanna eat," Yuliana whines, but that won't fly, either, because so many of her other medications have to be taken with food. She'll at least need a glass of milk, or something along those lines.
She sinks her weight into Elisa's hand, looking up at her with the most pathetic expression anyone has ever witnessed. "Les' go back't bed," she beseeches her, still whining.
And, most worryingly, she insists: "Wasn' nothin'..."
Nothing was done to her? Clearly something terrible was inflicted on her.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"And yet, you must."
Elisa will care for Yuliana in this way. She notices that pathetic expression... and is unmoved. Somehow. "Not until you have taken the rest of your medicines," Elisa says. But she insists--
"To have your energy drained so, it is nothing?" Elisa asks.
"Hmm. Perhaps. But if it was nothing, then there is no reason not to go about your day as normal. Isn't that so?"
She extends her hand, and with a gesture presses a button on the other side of the room without having to touch it. Breakfast shall be prepared soon enough.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Nnnnh," Yuliana mumbles, not even managing the full syllable this time.
"Nnn... 'kay," she says, and remains pathetic, even though Elisa is so unmoved.
Yuliana sighs, deeply, when Elisa explores the logic of her denial. She doesn't like when logic is applied to the things she says. That's not fair. "Dunwanna..." She starts, except surely that was one word, too.
(Surely she wasn't about to say that she didn't want to talk about it.)
When breakfast arrives -- they know to bring breakfast, at this time of day -- Yuliana eats sullenly, resenting the effort it takes to lift fork to lips. She does, at least, eat her omelette, and even swallows all the pills she has to take in the morning with the orange juice they brought up with it. Then, with great effort and a non-zero amount of prompting, she drinks the rest of the glass.
Hydration is important.
She's at least... slightly more coherent, after breakfast in their room. "Is that okay?" She asks, with an empty plate. "I'm really tired... can't we go back to bed, zhenushka?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa tends to Yuliana. She is pathetic, and she doesn't want to talk about it (notable, considering), and breakfast is arriving. Yuliana eats, and while she resents it, she does take the pills. That is what is necessary. The rest...
"Yes," Elisa says. "You have done what is required to keep you healthy."
She considers, next. To simply go back to bed...
"Did you have anything you had wished to do today, before you found that you had no energy?"
She knows the answer, of course. But it's important to have Yuliana hear the logic, say it herself.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana smiles, though it's a touch wan, when Elisa says she's done what's required of her. She knows how important Yuliana being healthy is to her wife, anyway, even if she feels terribly about it right now.
"I..." She starts, looking down. What... was she going to...
Oh, right. The thing she was going to do yesterday, but decided not to do, because her getting mad at everything and ringing Sayaka would have just ended in her and Sayaka yelling at each other.
"I was gonna ring Yaka," she says, after that moment to think. "Since... Leyasha said she might have more ideas for how to help that woman I was talking about... you know, the one who talks like me? Salvacion?"
Ah, yes. Her pet empathy project, the other early-model Cyber-Newtype. The one invited in just to see how Yuliana would take it, hearing her own disjointed style of conversation echoed back to her. It turns out... she feels kindly towards her, even though she would have crushed her under heel four years ago. She wants to help her.
And she's involving all her nice little friends in the project, apparently.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
If Yuliana's health cannot be important to Yuliana, at least it is important to Elisa. That will do.
"I see," Elisa says. It is at least in line with what she was expecting; if she wants to help Salvacion, that is not... unacceptable. "Yes, I remember her," Elisa says. "Then don't you wish to do that?" she asks.
She could tank the project, of course. Let her not bother. But... That is not Elisa's way, today.
"You can go back to bed after, if you wish. But I think you might be... disappointed, if you didn't follow through."
Leina, though. Always Leina.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
At least if she's helping their people, she's helping their people. Yuliana knows, of course, even if she doesn't always speak of it.
There are people she can be merciful to, even if her destruction is more beautiful.
(And then, there are people she oughtn't...)
"Mm... I guess," Yuliana sighs, her frill wilting. She's not enthusiastic about doing things today, but she can't deny her wife's logic, either. "I guess so..." She would be disappointed if she didn't follow through, wouldn't she? She always regrets not finishing the job.
She reaches up a hand, though, tugging at Elisa's robes. "Won't you sit with me, first?" She asks, still quite plaintive. "Stay with me a while..."
She's still quite attached to her wife. Anxiously so, even.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Their people. It's important. And one day...
Well.
"Yes," Elisa says. "That is so, then." She guides Yuliana to the answer; in this case, perhaps it's even kind to do. ...In a way. Maybe.
But Elisa moves to sit with Yuliana when she asks, and smiles. She has the appropriate number of teeth.
"Of course, my darling," Elisa says.
"We can sit here. I will stay with you."
"Always."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana buries herself against her wife the minute she sits herself down on the loveseat. One tentacle reaches over, to grasp the edge of one of those furs Elisa took with her when she got her out of bed, and she wraps the both of them up.
Clingy. Anxious. Something has bothered her. Someone.
And now she's started talking about the conversation, it's easier to just keep going.
"That's why I got in contact with her," Yuliana mumbles, against the crook of Elisa's neck. "Leyasha was helping me... I thought she'd have some idea how to help someone else speaking nonsense." Yuliana doesn't speak nonsense, of course. Her divine inspiration is just too revelatory for her mind. "And she did... she was helpful, Elya. It's just..."
She takes a deep breath, a shuddering sigh. "... she kept reminding me of bad times," she settles on a description, downcast. "She's just worried about me... but... it makes me sad."
She thought, for a little while, that she could keep it to herself, but...
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa is there. She will stay with Yuliana.
"I see..." Nonsense, Yuliana calls it, and Elisa considers challenging it, but does not for now. Instead, she will challenge something... else.
"I am glad that she was useful to you," Elisa says, rather than helpful, "But it is unfortunate that she would do such a thing. To make you sad, in this way, to remind you of such times..."
"But I am sure she has her reasons, of course. Otherwise you wouldn't tolerate it."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana is down on herself. Her mood's cratered. She isn't appreciating her majesty, right now.
She appreciates every word Elisa says, though, even when she's this sad.
Useful...
Her head turns, against Elisa's skin, frills wilting down. "... she thinks you're hurting me," Yuliana admits, as to her reasons. "Even though I told her things have been so good... I told her how nice you've been," with a stab of something like resentment or anxiety, as she insists on it. "She's just worried about me. Really, just worried about me. But I said something bad," she says, clutching tighter to Elisa's robes. "I shouldn't have done it. I feel so bad. She made me do it," she throws Leina under the bus, reflexively, "insisting on talking about you that way, she tricked me! But -- but it's just because she's worried," Yuliana insists, again, tries to moderate her lashing out the minute she's unleashed it. "She's just worried about me."
She blinks, and there are tears, on her lashes. "I'm a bad wife," she sniffs, miserable.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Of course she does," Elisa says gently. "She is not only worried about you, after all--she wants you to act the way she wants you to act. She wants you to be the person she wants you to be. And she is worried that I will encourage you to be other than that person."
"Why should I be angry that you would say something like that, when she tricked you this way?"
"Of course not. You are not at all a bad wife."
"Though... I suppose when you make this excuse for her, that she is 'merely' worried for you, that I could wonder why you find her so important."
"But no, no, I will not blame you for this. Of course."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"She thinks I can get better," Yuliana sniffs. "But I guess... it's her better..."
It's not that Leina tricked her, of course. She said what she did because it was the truth. But if she just says that -- if she just says that -- will things still be as good as they've been? She's jeopardising it enough by listening to Leina's logic, remembering things it's best to put out of her mind.
Her mother told her to make peace in her heart.
"Ah..." She breathes in, breath hitching, when Elisa wonders. "Mm," Yuliana squeaks, hand balling in her wife's robes as she clutches herself to her. "She's... my friend, zhenushka... even when I hurt her, she only ever wanted to help me. I like her... I'm fond of her. She realised I was hurting..."
Yuliana pauses. "... she... even told me she helped you plan the raid on the Institute," she admits, quietly. "She wanted to get me out of there too, right...? She said... it would be inconvenient if I found out, but... I don't know why. Why... why is that, Elya..?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa listens. She listens, and she knows of course that Yuliana is attempting to lie to her. For Leina. Again, for Leina.
...But then, it makes an easy target. It makes an easy outlet. If Yuliana is to have these doubts...
"Your friend," Elisa repeats, and she has the correct number of teeth now, too.
"Of course," Elisa says. "I don't know why she would say that. It certainly isn't inconvenient for you to know this right now," she says.
"It's a pity that your friend dislikes me so. But, I know that you need friends. I will not hold this against you. Even though she says such things."
"I wouldn't make you choose between us. I wonder why she seems to think that's necessary?"
"Ah, well. Perhaps it isn't important."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
It's Yuliana who has too many teeth. She's always been the visible monster, between them.
'That's a very specific phrasing' runs through her head again, in Leina's voice, as Elisa tells her that it isn't inconvenient for her to know right now. She hates that she has these doubts -- that she can even bring herself to doubt her wife. It's normal... it's so normal to phrase something like that. It doesn't mean it was inconvenient before. She's just trying to sound human. How can she... condemn her wife for that?
"I don't know," she echoes her, miserably.
It's a burden, on Elisa, that her friends would speak so cruelly. Yuliana can tell, even though she assures her that she's not holding it against her. Even if she doesn't resent her... it's a pity.
She wonders, again, and Yuliana shakes her head against her. "She... says it's... an abusive marriage," she volunteers, even though Elisa was nice enough to give her an out. "I guess she's scared... even though I told her you've never harmed me. I told her," she insists, again. "But she just brought up that time I upset you so much talking to Ritechka -- then she insisted I wouldn't have a choice to pilot Emptear again if you asked me to -- and the texting, and..."
Yuliana trembles, clutching herself tightly to her wife. "Don't blame her too harshly," she all but pleads, buried against Elisa. "It's because I've said too much about our private life... and those people, they don't understand I get into a mood, I say things I don't mean... I brought this on us," she says, still quite teary.
And that's notable -- that she's even trying to moderate the consequences for Leina by taking some blame.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It's always specific phrasing, of course. Elisa is very exacting. She always is.
But Elisa hears Yuliana's misery, and she listens as Yuliana repeats what Leina has said.
"Scared? That's certainly one way to consider her actions," Elisa allows magnanimously. "But for someone afraid, she does seem to have quite the memory for things that suit her arguments. ...Do you wish not to pilot Emptear?"
A shake of her head. "No, it's unfair to put such a burden of a question on you. I will not repeat her mistakes."
"I will not be overly harsh," Elisa assures Yuliana, which is certainly a way to put it. "But neither will I blame you for her manipulations."
"...Ah, my darling. You are so upset. I am sorry that she has made you to feel this way."
"I should give you some space," Elisa decides. "So that you can sort out your feelings. You wish to be independent after all."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Mm," Yuliana hums, distressed, through lips tightly closed. Her muscles stiffen, as she grasps Elisa tightly. How could she say she doesn't want to?! When Elisa designed her specifically to protect her, when she's worked so hard to make it easier for her--!!
This time, when Elisa offers her an out, she takes it. Don't call her ragged breath a sob of relief, as she sinks into her wife. There was just... something in her throat.
"You're always so good to me," Yuliana mumbles, against her wife's skin, clearly relieved by the fact she isn't blaming her instead. "I'm, sorry you have to listen to this... Leyasha's unfair to you, too." Because, of course, she's unfair to Yuliana. Elisa just said so; it must be true.
But Elisa gives voice to Yuliana's tears, and --
"Oh," she whimpers, clutching her wife all the more tightly. It's plain in her grip that she doesn't want Elisa to give her some space -- just as she beseeched her to stay, earlier. She doesn't want to be alone with her treacherous thoughts, not now.
But... Elisa's logic always wins out, and...
... it's not like she really deserves her wife's comfort right now, anyway.
"O--okay," Yuliana says, slowly -- reluctantly -- straightening out of her embrace, tentacles uncoiling from around her. "Thank you, Elya... you're so thoughtful. I'm just... upset since Leyasha's saying all these awful things... I'll be okay. I'll be okay," she promises her, bravely, far too upset to realise she should ask Elisa if she's okay.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I do as I am able," Elisa says, and she is already distant. Already, she looks into the space ahead rather than at anything in particular, focusing on something beyond sight. Yuliana doesn't want her to go.
That's fine.
"Yes," Elisa says. "I'm sure."
She will be okay.
Of course she will.
"We will talk at dinner," Elisa says, and rises.
At the edge of the room, she steps into darkness and is gone.