2024-06-21: Two souls still lost, now stop to remember
- Log: 2024-06-21: Two souls still lost, now stop to remember
- Cast: Yuta Hibiki, Gridman, Samurai Calibur, Borr, Vit, Max
- Where: Hyper World, Tokyo-3
- Date: U.C. 0099 06 21
- Summary: Yuta Hibiki and Yuta Hibiki seize the beginning of their current story, reminiscing about how they've did or did not progress over the two past years. The Hero was rebuffed by his knights for being a stagnated coward. The Real objectively observed their progress, all alone.
June 21th, 0099
???????
Hyper World
Four individuals took seats - or took an action that they recognize as taking a seat - in a place that was akin to the room of a certain red haired young boy by design, voluntary or not. A red haired young boy who had already been sitting in the middle of the room like he was ready for a lecture, blinking with characteristic bright and sunny eyes. All of them had repeated this meeting over and over again, with no obvious results.
Cinnabar-red hair that was messy like someone who had just woken up. Not too tall, not too short, a boy of average height that didn’t really stand out.Ther same uniform - pants and sweater vest equally black, a white collared shirt, a red necktie. All unchanged with no progress. Down to the eyes of yellow gold, marred by a slight tinge of guilt.
> “For the love of EVERYTHING, Gridman, it’s been TWO years already.” Borr snarked and grumbled, his face showing that he was absolutely fed up with this. Not that he was expecting that today would be the day their progenitor finally would get out of his rut, but the blonde had to at least say it, still. Really, it was testament to his patience that Gridman’s shin was still unkicked.
Eyes of innocent amber gleamed with guilt, cinnabar red hair swaying as gaze parted and shifted away. He knew, of course. Gridman knew that he couldn’t stay like this, but at the same time, the very fact that after two years his perceived appearance was still a carbon copy of Yuta Hibiki - from the messy hair to the languid legs - was undeniable proof that he had not, in fact, gotten over it in the slightest. He turned to Samurai Calibur, looking for backup that he knew wouldn’t come.
> “A..... At least we managed to… convince you out of that deal– Gridman. That one could have gone…. Poorly.” Hopefully, Yuliana and Elisa would have forgotten their ‘Akadachi’ by now, added Samurai Calibur. Fortunately, they managed to talk sense (and physically restrain when ‘sense’ didn’t work at first) Gridman out of it. It was not good to assume that everything that is made of darkness is evil, but every piece of information they had at the time pointed out as much…. What was Gridman thinking? Would he really have gone through with the deal had Calibur himself not dragged him out of there? If Borr hadn’t kicked his shin until he was wincing in pain? If Vit hadn’t held him down? If Max hadn’t talked him out of it?
The golden gaze swayed again, in another direction. He had done Samurai Calibur a disservice, for which he apologized. Yet deep down, he thought that a body of his own would have solved everything, still. Never again he’d need to bother someone as their host. Potentially consume their lives. Was that not just? Was that not right? Sure, perhaps he had been hasty with his decision then and there, but if there’s a chance to do so…. Shouldn’t he actually do so? Should he really just be a cog in the universe’s machinery that exists to bring Justice where Salvation should be brought? His gaze pleaded to Vit - Vit, who was the least motivated towards their function, he could at least understand what he had wanted out of it, right….?
> “.....haaah. Look, Gridman. I understand, I really do. But we still have a mission to fulfill, you know? That’s neither I nor Borr complained when you asked us to- KUUH” His spiel had been interrupted as external forces had Vit hold his shin up in pain, but even then, his point was made. And really, Gridman understood as much.
He didn’t even want to face the last one. Max was the most responsible of the four and certainly wouldn’t give him the reinforcement he needed. Is this what a therapy session entailed? Gridman was sure he had heard about it at some point. But even then, it was true that he couldn’t just waste away like this. This wasn’t what a Hero would do. Ironically enough, it was the very fact that he felt now human that allowed him to perceive two years as ‘a long time’. Perhaps that was how people moved forward. Time heals all wounds, was it…? Still, as long as Yuta Hibiki was his host, Gridman couldn’t not even… search for a new one.
> “Gridman. Look into my eyes. It was thanks to those two years that you lived as Hibiki that we exist and we can talk like this, I will not deny it. You didn’t even… force us back onto you, even though we’re but your splintered fragments. You respected us as individuals.” Max knelt down, placing his burly hands on Gridman’s shoulders. Yuta Hibiki’s shoulder. “But, you can’t be Yuta Hibiki. We can help you look for a proper way to make you a body, but first you need to let the boy go. If you feel indebted to him, we can find ways to repay the boy. But first. You need to let him go. We finally found the boy again too, I know you’ve been worried over that. Still you haven’t severed your connection to him as a host for two years after leaving him, Gridman.”
Yuta “Gridman” Hibiki, Yuta “The Hero” Hibiki, as he was presented in front of the five Neon Genesis Junior High Students, couldn’t deny any of the accusations. Living like a human. Being a human. Connecting like a human beyond his sense of duty. Serving justice but being fulfilled by it was….. Wonderful. It was good. For the first time, he understood emotions as humans do. They had bodies and could exist on their own even though they had been part of him, so why couldn’t they understand his desire? Still, it was because he was Justice Incarnate that he had to at least deny one of those accusations made against him. At least he tried to relieve the actual Yuta from his post as Gridman’s Host… right? He thought so. Or at least he had to believe so. Because that was Justice and what Yuta Hibiki would have done.
> “No… I’ve said it before. It’s not like I haven’t tried severing our connection. More than once. Especially after you guys found him again. But.... I can’t. I tried to. Really. Especially because I thought leaving Yuta Hibiki alone was the least I could do after what I did to him. I just can’t.” said Gridman, staring at the Accepter on his wrist.
Was it really Gridman’s fault? Was it really because deep down he still wanted to be Yuta Hibiki, like he had been on those two, shining years? Or….?
June 21th, 0099
???????
Tokyo-3
Resting in an empty room in a vacant parking lot, a youngster rested in an ochre hammock set up between two file cabinets. Their long, flowing hair was cinnamon red, neatly trimmed and clearly well cared, though its edges still had a slight messy feel that didn’t quite style down. The ambiguously defined beauty peaked in slender and languish tones. There was a shadow that resembled what it once had been, but never again they would be the same.
Yuta Hibiki. A Yuta Hibiki that would no longer be what Yuta Hibiki was meant to be. By design. By choice. By will'.
No longer an innocent teenager, but not quite yet an adult, Yuta was resting the bones that supported his body while idly watching something or another on their phone. Browsing through news that might or might not be relevant. Watching new shows and songs - the famous Galaxy Fairy (of whom they never heard before until about an year and a half ago) had released a couple new songs, and they finally had time to catch up. The song writing contest had surprisingly shown them some familiar faces along some new ones they didn’t have a profile for. Rikka seemed to be doing well. They wondered how Sho was doing. And Akane, for that matter. And then there was the matter of Asciel—- when light came from his left wrist, interrupting their train of thought. It was not the first time it happened.
>”Now, now. Don’t think you’ll escape from taking responsibility that easily, Yuta Hibiki.” The Accepter blinked on his wrist. Continuously. As it happened every once in a while. And then, with a simple tug of their thought, it stopped. Yuta ‘The Hero’ Hibiki attempted to sever his connection to Yuta ‘The Real’ Hibiki and he was, once again, stopped. “You are going to be my primary weapon, versatile and powerful as you are. There’s nothing you know about yourself that I don’t know about you.”
Thoughts spiraled down - the idle mind is a devil’s playground - Yuta found himself staring at the Accepter still on his wrist. Two years. Two whole years. It was an amount of time that was both insignificant but also more than half of their life, depending on how one looked about it. The face that had, until now, changed from interested to bitter, from bitter to relaxed, and from relaxed to serious, once again changed, this time to some thing that was between a neutral if not blank expression.
They remembered. They remembered the journey of Yuta Hibiki (Gridman) in his story to be a hero. To save a soul. They remembered because it was a journey using their very body. Their very brain. It was physically engraved into their neurons. They can’t forget. They won’t forget. The story was too significant, too dazzling for them to forget. What a farce.
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Two years ago, a young boy had woken up for the first time, and two years had passed. The first thought in the brain…. had been nothing in particular. Maybe some things in the room were a bit out of place since they last remembered it, but that in itself wasn’t particularly alarming. Then, the second thought in his brain, right the moment after was simply the wish to die.
Pain. Pain. Pain. Nothing but pain assaulted his brain like a battery ram pounding the already open floodgates. There was so much pain as his blue eyes went in and out of focus that it was hard to tell why and where the pain was coming from at a glance. Yuta hadn’t even noticed as he was on all fours on the floor, hurling what were potentially the contents of his last meal. Not his. His.
Knowledge. Comprehension. Vast amounts of information were being seared in their soul, for it felt like his brain, their existence was expanding, things they were not meant to know yet stayed in that body after it had been used and discarded. The daunting idea that they were but a meat puppet on someone’s stage play.
Could this be a trick? No, it could not. No one had anything to gain with this. Perhaps his information has been obtained in hindsight, but he had no basis to believe it false or deny it. Should they be angry, blame someone? No, they could not. Yuta Hibiki didn’t know, and he had a good cause. Gridman obtained Yuta Hibiki’s permission. Sho and Rikka helped out to the best of their abilities with their limited information. One could say Akane was the villain, but they would also not exist without her in the first place. Alexis Kerib had nothing but self motivating intentions all along, but without them putting the story in motion, Yuta Hibiki would not be here, right now. What could they do? Could they do a one over? Could they live as Yuta Hibiki had? Yuta Hibiki was but a newborn, in more senses than one. However, Yuta Hibiki had clearly lived to the fullest during those two years, with the information he had, and made a grand display that could probably be turned into a stage play, or even a TV show, but…. Yuta Hibiki could not. No, they could not do a one over. Not only because it might have been impossible to do so in the first place, but they would rather know than act in blinding brilliance, even if it’s only something they could say because now they did know. Then… What? What other options could Yuta Hibiki choose? Suicide? That would be a waste. Ignorance was neither sin nor bliss, but it was as much of a curse as the fruit of knowledge itself was. There were just so many coincidences in these two years where their meat puppet was flown like a kite on a string, that without any of them, Yuta Hibiki wouldn’t even be here today. So no. Suicide or any other form of ending it all was not acceptable. Denied. Yuta Hibiki cursed themself to live and survive. They would weaponize their knowledge. They would weaponize their body. They would weaponize their relationships. They would weaponize Yuta Hibiki if that meant this time Yuta Hibiki would be the stringing the meat puppet from now on. They would thank God (Akane) for the chance of existence they were given, but they would not bow down or cling to anything that had a chance of taking it from them.
And so Yuta ‘The Real’ Hibiki embarked on a process. A process of self-discovery that had no goal, of self-improving that had no end. Fighting fate, writing the future, guaranteeing their existence. It was a longshot bet that would potentially never pay off until their flesh crumbled and rotted, and their bones returned to the dust from whence they came…. If one counted Tsutsujiday being anchored into existence as ‘coming from dust’.
Their journey began without fanfare but with unstable psyche and a splitting headache, which in turn proved to turn sometimes into emotional outbursts that they had no desire but also no way to control yet. This had caused issues at times, such as what had happened with Kaworu and Shinji, but also motivated Yuta to give everyone the slip as they disappeared from the radar, for multiple reasons. Their plans couldn’t be divulged yet, Yuta ‘The Hero’ Hibiki, Gridman, needed to be worried enough about them that he wouldn’t be able to completely sever their connection as host and visitor. Gridman had remembered himself while he was still Yuta Hibiki and as such, the two years visual novel that was the only thing they inherited, came with a vast, vast Glossary, and Yuta knew just how powerful the Giants of Light were, and they absolutely intended to weaponize that. If Gridman could use and discard their body as he needed, with good reason, the cinnamon-red haired repli-comploid (as they learned the proper terminology for the kind of human they were) would also make use of Gridman until the day they died or were convinced it was no longer worth the trouble. Unfortunately, their current symbiosis was too unbalanced towards him and they’d have no way to resist should he want ties to be severed. But that could be changed. They just needed time.
As Yuta disappeared from the stage, it seemed the world itself had slowed down to relative peace, affording them exactly the time they needed. First, they organized their knowledge while attempting to supplement them with information about the world. Concurrently, they needed to increase the basic specs of their body. They knew superhuman augmentation existed, yet unfortunately, there was no way Yuta would have had access to something like that point in time. They passed through companies, jobs, they put their noses to the ground to find what had been swept under the carpet while the elephant in the room was looking away.
They have been Akadachi at GGG, toiling daily at Photon Labs, taking advantage of its separation to NERV to board in as an ‘orphan of war’. They learned about technology, extrapolated to the state of warfare. Their position hadn’t been very high, but that worked for the best, considering the people familiar with Yuta “The Hero” Hibiki who worked at this place. At Nergal, they had been Utae, a young lady that was in desperate need of work but had the skills to back her up. It was around this time Yuta killed a man for the first time. Put a gun against his head. Pulled the trigger and then they were dead. Surprisingly, didn’t feel much difference to what he imagined, reading Hero Yuta’s kaiju-killing story. On their latest iteration, they were finally Yuta Hibiki again for the first time, a two years older Yuta Hibiki, somewhat completing a cycle as they joined NERV for their latest internship. They didn’t get quite as deep as they wanted too into the organization’s secrets, yet the connections made would serve them well in the life to come. Besides, training over skulking around was never wasted, but even then, it was not with NERV that they’d throw their ballot for life. One and all, everything and everywhere, all was but means to an indefinite end.
That was all that Yuta did, repeatedly, from one place to another, with no breaks. Grapple their bearings of the new situation. Repose their body to acclimate the experiences it received. Investigate their current place. Drill their body with all lessons it could take. Meet people that could eventually become assets. Assimilate all knowledge it was imparted to them. Next place. That was Yuta Hibiki’s life as they tried to make the most of the time they were allowed and allotted. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple. Repose. Investigate. Drill. Meet. Assimilate. Next. Grapple.Repose.Investigate.Drill.Meet.Assimilate.Next.
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That was it and all. Here they are. Two years later, and Yuta feels that perhaps they finally have at least gotten their foot in the door. If nothing else, at the least the Encyclopedia in their brain has expanded vastly. Their body is much more reactive than it had been two years ago. Proper stamina. Proper training. Muscles on the lean and compact size, a delicate balance of sustained and explosive force. Proper skin care and fashion. Being affable to the eyes and amicable was a powerful weapon on its own.
But was this enough? Had they done enough? Had they prepared enough? Were they ready to live? Everything up to now was a big bet with singular-driven purpose and when payouts happened, it would be too late to change it.
> “Perhaps I gotta pay Tsutsujidai a visit soon. Remind myself of why I’ve been doing all this for, and all that jazz. I guess I should contact a couple acquaintances first, as well. Let them know I won’t be in the area. Besides, there was that tip Kaworu gave me on Ultraman.” There were secrets that they could still scout for at NERV, but not without…. more risk than Yuta had already subjected themself to. No one commented on it, but it was clear that none of the pilots had aged a day since their last meeting, for example.
With a quick check of his phone, the red-haired young man noticed it was time to go. Standing up, Yuta closed the book they envisioned in their mind, organizing how far they had come, and how much they still had to go. This was now their story, their life, their body, their mind. And they would not play the hero because this was his fate as Gridman. They would not be a self-sacrificing martyr that only thought of doing good, doing justice, at the cost of all else, of themself. Survive. Fight. Don’t cower. Step ahead. Prepare. Learn. Plan. Lurk. Strike. Live. Live. Live.
As if shifting gears, their serious expression melted, his lips curving into an amiable smile. Placing a denim jacket on to fight the last dredges of unusual, out of season cold in the rainy air, Yuta Hibiki made a last check on equipment necessary for departing. Analog radio. Digital comms. Gun. Retractable baton. Jamming smoke. Boot-knife mechanism was working properly too.
> “Alright, work calls. Not all gigs can be as easy as hunting down a couple of runaway cats like the one this morning, can it?” Stretching and cracking joints to make sure his body was limber and ready - the last tool they needed to check up. Logistic side check - routes, objective, data and info. All green, clear, committed to memory. Was it funny that all of Yuta ‘The Hero’ Hibiki’s two years adventure and all of Gridman’s knowledge engraved into their brain made memorizing things much easier than before the coma? Silver linings really were everywhere. A step forward, and they departed.
> “Today, too, will become fodder for my future.”