2024-05-07: Patient Y -- Not Currently On Premises
- Log: Patient Y -- Not Currently On Premises
- Cast: Leina Ashta, Yuliana Kafim
- Where: Asticassia - Barracks / The Silent Castle (Video call)
- Date: 2024-05-07
- Summary: Leina rings Yuliana, after she fails to show up for her scheduled therapy, and hears what happened from her. She tries to press her on whether she's doing right by the Silent Calling, alongside continuing her treatment so that Yuliana can face the world again... because Leina is risking quite a lot, helping her clandestinely like this. Yuliana... agrees to invite Sayaka's family to her house, at least, as a way to bring the world to her while she's too afraid to go outside. But how much progress is she really making, and how long is this process really going to take?
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Find the Truth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA8YxfSdlMU
Standby made for a quiet shift.
The clash of mobile suits in the background perhaps made 'quiet' a misnomer, as a Heindree clashed against a Zowort in Tactical Testing Sector #3.
"<Who do you think's gonna win Ashta?>"
"<No comment.>" Leina replied over the comms, as she tapped her fingers across a datapad, words forming as she wrote.
"<Are you even watching?>"
"<Sure? I just don't think two rich kids fighting because the Heindree insulted the Zowort's Daddy is worth paying close attention to. It's a Schoolyard Brawl with expensive toys.>"
When not on missions with Cathedra, her Work Study program allowed her to take shifts at the Front Management Company.
Mostly however, it was Duel Standby, 'Just in Case' - but the only time they intervened anytime recently was Suletta Mercury's duel with Guel Jeturk.
Right now she was in the cockpit of the Demi-Garrison that she was supplied with, in holding pattern.
"<Cynical way of looking at it.>"
"<It's the only way of looking at it.>"
Her phone buzzed, and Leina stopped typing long enough to check it, squinting at the message.
>patient y didnt show up to a session
>not currently on premises
Leina stared at the message for a while, then put her phone down and leaned back. "Are you serious? You can't be doing this to me right now."
She uttered, because it was mid-shift - she was on campus. There were too many reasons she couldn't address this immediately.
It'd take days before she could get down to Earth.
Picking up her phone again, she started looking up new postings on certain sites, until she found it and started listening.
"<-in Ashta?>"
Her head snapped up - because the Dueling Results were being announced on a holographic screen.
"<Yeah I'm. Responding to the check in. I'm here.>"
-=-=-
It was hours before she was back at her room in the barracks, before she started sweeping for bugs. Painstaking, meticulously, she moved around the room as Shuffle had taught her, utilizing a handheld device.
"No new ones? Surprising."
Then she rechecked it. And waited for her security team to change shifts to the less alert graveyard shift. After they knocked for the check in and she confirmed she was fine, and she told them she'd be doing some late night studying...
...she opened a box and took out the most effective door dead bolt she knew.
A large circular industrial magnet. Placing it next to the side of the frame where it slid in, she pressed a button as it hummed to life and attached to the door.
Putting on her Sheryl Nome playlist, loudly, she then connected a noise canceling headset and microphone to her phone.
And began trying to get an encrypted call out, to Yuliana at the Silent Castle.
"Five to ten years." Leina murmured to herself, as if repeating what the Doctor said, but it wasn't until it connected that she pepped up.
"Hello, Yuliana? Just wanted to check in. Is everything alright?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
The phone connects -- to a blur, and the sound of a child laughing.
"Aww, lemme see! Who's calling you, Auntie?!"
"Come, Makar," Yuliana's voice, with laughter in it, "give it back, it might be adult's business."
"Uh-uh! Everyone calls Auntie Elisa for that!"
And there's more of a blur, and the sound of a chase, before finally a boy's face comes into resolution, big blue eyes framed with messy aqua hair -- with Yuliana's face behind him. (They are, of course, both dressed in the warm black robes of the Castle.) She's scooped him up, evidently. "Who is this?" She asks, as she reaches out to take the phone, even though her arms are evidently both holding a five-year old child. "-- oh! Leyasha!"
"It's Leyasha!" Makar says, waving eagerly. "I know her! Hi, Leyasha! I'm Makar!"
There's the sound of another adult -- more muffled, in the background -- as Yuliana looks over her shoulder, and turns back to the screen. "Excuse me a moment," she smiles, as she turns, and the camera blurs again with the movement. Soon enough it stills, showing her putting her nephew down by the side of an old woman who looks much like Yuliana, a painter's smock over her black robes -- except her eyes are more teal than green, and what's visible of her grey-spackled hair is lighter than her daughter's.
("Can you take them, a moment?" The phone isn't perfectly positioned to capture the conversation, but Leina can hear it if she listens closely, anyway. Along with Sashenka's response: "Of course, Yulya. Come, come, Kara, would you like to paint with your brother?")
A moment's more walking -- the echoing of steps on stone, as Yuliana steps out of the playroom and walks to one of the many sitting-rooms of the Castle. It's not too long before the camera stops blurring, as she sets it down on the end-table beside a fainting couch. The faint crackle of a fireplace is audible, in the background.
"You'll excuse the wait," she takes it for granted, as she settles down. "It's lovely that you'd check in, but... oh!" Her frills sag, a little, to either side of her head, as she realises why. "Oh, I said I'd be there this week, didn't I...? Mm..."
Yuliana frowns, her hands grasping together where she's leant on the armrest. "You saw the boy just now, didn't you? Makar. There was an accident, Leyasha... he almost fell into the ice. Well, I managed to save him, but I fell in myself... the family has been quite unsettled, Leyasha. Elya scarcely wants to leave my side -- she just, she has to figure some things out, so she's working on her tasks right now -- but the children, the children have needed me, as well. Everything was interrupted... do excuse me," it's not quite an apology, "I really should have said something to you too, I suppose. Did I worry you...?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina hears the children laughing over the blur of movement, and she waves at them, "Hello! Who's this?"
However she considers the words 'Adult Business' for a time in light of the recent 'experience' in the BU.
"You must be- I thought so! It's good to meet you Makar. Have you been good?"
And then as Yuliana ask for a moment, she nods, "Take your time." And when she comes back, "Oh it's no trouble, she tells her." Leina is notably dressed in a white loose tank top in what's visible, since she came off shift.
"You did. I was just a little concerned because of that." But when she hears the reason why, "Oh-! I- I'd ask if he's alright, but he certainly seems to be. I understand if there was an emergency."
But something - something doesn't quite line up in her mind, and it has to do with the video she watched. Yes she understands she almost fell into the ice but...
... if her body is more adapted to it, but is Elisa just using the near miss as an excuse, even if it wasn't actually all that dangerous to her.
"I was - but it's alright. Are you quite alright yourself?" She tells her, concerned, "After all if you managed to save him, that means you had to have been exposed... were you injured? Or suffer any frostbite?"
Its a leading question - she certainly knows the answer but...
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yup!" Makar nods, beaming, to Leina. He looks healthy, all things considered; aside from his untameable hair, he's well-groomed, and clearly he's happy to engage. Even with strangers! ... though he's evidently heard about Leina before this.
It's only once they're in a room of their own, tellingly, that Yuliana gets into what happened. She doesn't want to expose the children to a sad conversation, perhaps. She frowns, looking down at her fingertips. "I fell in," she says, "and I tried to swim out, but I must have gotten turned around, or I was confused under Her gaze... I just hit more ice. I couldn't find where I fell in, so I... fell unconscious. I was drowning, I suppose. Or freezing... well, it was both, I suppose."
Her frown deepens, as she plays with her wedding bands, rich rose gold with so many gems inlaid. "Elya saved me," she says. "Mama says she cast a spell to pull all the water from my lungs, and then she took me inside... she didn't dare open a portal, in case the Empress took me for Herself. When I woke up, she was doing everything she could to warm me up... I was out of my outside clothes, all wrapped up in furs by the fireplace, heating packs tucked in... Elya kept giving me hot things to drink, and the medication which warms my blood, too. Since she worked so hard, I managed not to lose any toes... isn't she wonderful?" Yuliana asks, with a gentle smile.
(It's more detail than she offered her followers. To them, she just asked their understanding for failing to appear as she'd promised, with a brief explanation that she'd fallen into the ice to save her nephew... and their Head Priestess, of course, had saved her. Most of that missive was assuring them that she would not ignore them for trivial reasons, because they were important to her, and she knew the contact was important to them.)
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
That's certainly worse than she thought about the incident, and slowly suspicion fades from her, not because Elisa isn't capable of terrible things but because that's an entirely reasonable reason to want to keep your wife close after something as dire as that.
"That's awful! I've heard that hypothermia can be protective in scenarios like that but - it sounds like it was a very close call..."
It certainly is more detail and rather - decisively informs the idea that it's religious propaganda in a sense, though Leina of course knew that.
She did a lot of papers on propaganda as a teenager.
'Isn't she wonderful?'
"I'm... glad that she saved you." That's not really an answer to the question, but it's the only answer she has to that one. "And that there's no permanent damage."
Still however... she asks further, "Are you really alright though? It must have been very traumatic... drowning like that in the Arctic."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yeah," Yuliana says, frills wilting as she frowns.
Is it religious propaganda? She thought she was being very thoughtful.
Anyway.
"It... was quite difficult," she says, looking down at her ring. "For all of us... I didn't even know how Elya was feeling, after it, even though I'm her wife. I thought she must have felt quite lost, but she was just... confined. She didn't know how much I really cared about my family, I guess... I had to explain the different types of love, then. And..."
She pauses, with a deep sigh. "... I... still struggle to understand why the Empress would not aid me. She bid me come to Her, when the veil weakened between life and death, but... I worry that She would have been satisfied had I died, to take my spirit from this world to Hers. She was watching... watching me, Leyasha. Calling me..." She trails off, gaze lidding.
"I remember I said -- it's too dangerous out there -- even just beyond these walls -- it's too dangerous. I don't think, I get myself into trouble... I just want to be with my wife. If Elya wasn't there, I would have died... and it's a burden on her, Leyasha, that she has to worry for me and for mine as well. She doesn't wish to restrict me, but it's so hard to keep me safe... when I'll just run out onto the ice like that. Just because he wandered out -- I should have called for her. She wasn't far. I should have called for her," Yuliana doesn't look at the phone as she rambles on, a jumble of confused emotions which, strangely enough, involve guilt.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
It's definitely propaganda. The fact that she doesn't think so feels like a function of REA cultural upbringing.
After all, massaging information that way feels so benign!
It's still a queer feeling though that after such a life or death incident that Leina hears Yuliana talking about Elisa's feelings.
And there's a moment where her eyes are just distant, as she processes. "I guess - I just worry more about your feelings right now - as the one who had the near death experience." Is what Leina answers, at first, "She really didn't understand you... loving your family though?"
That's something she struggles with right there. But it's, horrifying, hearing of the thought of someone lying in wait to claim her soul like a spider or a thief.
Despite herself, she shudders, "That's... horrifying. And - I worry that as things stand right now that - your torment wouldn't end." Leina notes. "That it would just be beginning. She doesn't understand any better so... she'd just - torture you, forever, unless Elisa could teach her not to."
Curling up her legs on the bed, with her knees, the vibration of the music as it switches to Sagitarrius 9 PM is something she feels, but...
"Well I get it while you're recovering... while I was recovering from Vist, I had to hide myself out of necessity. They apparently had some shadow tribunal sentence me to death for treason or something."
Her eyes look up and there's some debate about it, this whole mess, "...but, I worry that you're isolating yourself too much again for Elisa's comfort. Like - there needs to be a plan for you to be a part of this world again, beyond just that-"
She gestures, "-that castle. For you to get right, and make things right."
She knows what she wants. For Yuliana to make a deal to get away from Elisa, with Cathedra. To go into protection. It is definitely a step too far at this point but...
... five to ten years feels so far away.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Of course she did," Yuliana defends her wife, at once. "She just... didn't realise how much. I suppose it must have been a shock to her that I would give my life for the boy's... but what else am I to do, Leyasha?" Yuliana asks, with a note of despair. "I brought him into my care. It is the most important charge of any woman -- to safeguard their young. From their very births are we tasked to volunteer our lives for theirs... his mother is gone, now, and he must know he is protected still. He must." Her desire to defend her nephew sounds entirely genuine; she does, evidently, feel deeply about it.
But she needs protecting, too -- from her very own Wife, above and below.
She quiets, for a moment, as she considers it. "Elya promised to protect me," she says, quietly, at length. "She promised we'd go together, or not at all. She promised she'd remain with me, no matter what it cost..." Yuliana bites her lip, that extra fang on her right side digging into the scarred flesh at the bottom. "I worry we won't soothe Her heart, despite our efforts," she admits, voice hushed. "She can be quite demanding... quite frightening. I don't wish to be..." Tortured eternally, she doesn't say, because she shakes her head instead. "Of course, I still believe in Her," she says, instead, putting a smile on. (Elisa told her to hold fast to her faith; it doesn't occur to Yuliana that Leina might remember, too.) "And Elya is hard at work divining the meaning of Her call. I just don't see how it makes sense, yet... even I still see things one way, by and large."
She mulls over what Leina says about leaving her Castle, her own legs pulling up onto the couch. (She can mirror people, too.) She's quiet, too, though she isn't thinking of how long her recovery will take.
"Well..." She sighs, eventually, "I can sympathise with your need to hide, I suppose. NUNE is still calling for my head... and since you've been working so hard, they might even actually execute me instead of disappearing me to some blacksite or another, given they seem to have run out of those. Small mercy, isn't it?" She laughs, though the sound is thin. "But..."
Her tentacles curl about her legs, as her hands lace together on her knee. "Maybe," she says, slowly. "Maybe I am. She didn't ask me to... actually, she offered to take the boys out with her on excursions, so they could get out more. So it isn't as if she's keeping us here. I just..." Yuliana takes a deep breath, and sighs, frills wilting. "I'm scared," she says, quietly. "And I suppose the boys were terribly frightened, too... we're looking at how to get them some therapy of their own, you know, after something like that. Maybe Elya will end up taking care of it... I don't know."
She smiles, shakily, looking back up to her phone. "But I ought to... see to my health, oughtn't I? I -- I will try to get out there again soon, Elya. Um..." Her frills curl, as she tilts her head up, thinking. "Actually, Lisa was quite taken by Plyushokrova," she starts, thoughtfully. "Maybe I could invite them all here to come meet Sokrova for real... maybe that wouldn't be so bad, to start with."
It's not quite getting out of the Castle, but it is inviting outsiders in. "I would invite you," she adds, "but it would be too complicated for you, I know." Not that Yuliana isn't happy to make things complicated for Leina all the time, but at least she's thinking about it now. Right?
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Certainly she understands that Elisa isn't human and doesn't understand human values, but that's - so basic. Almost the most basic thing. If Elisa was sent to learn about humanity then - has it only been Yuliana she's been learning about?
It's unsettling perhaps, to understand how truly inhuman that Elisa is, in a sense. Her brain in a sense tries to consider logically to cite that it's not just a woman's duty, but in the end she decides not to cite it, because well...
... she understands the importance of Motherhood.
"It's just... she was human once - so it's a struggle for me to grasp how she doesn't know that, I guess. To me it's the most natural thing that - someone do that - that you do that."
In the end though, it's... worrisome, though to hear that Yuliana still believes in 'Her' despite thinking she won't soothe Her heart.
"I - I really worry about you remaining so devoted to 'Her' despite - despite not being able to trust 'Her'. In a way the Calling is - bringing more people to 'Her' right? When, you're saying even you're not sure she means well."
It's a fine line, given Elisa's connection to her - she doesn't even want ELISA to be a part of Yuliana's life, much less the Empress, but the Empress is far easier to deconstruct here.
"I guess it's just I can't see any way in how she makes your life... better, only worse. It feels like she's made it demonstrably worse in just how she treats you. I worry if we don't find a way to block that connection - it'll get even worse for you."
In a sense this is her leading up to 'Please keep giving the PPL a chance to work on this' but more than Therapy is needed, this is a purview of a domain she knows so little about scientifically, even if she has knowledge upon it.
Yuliana obviously mulls things over and Leina tries to push further, "It's why I'm hoping for a deal - like the one I made with Cathedra. It worked out not just for us - but a lot of people they labelled rebels before, right? It was a full exoneration."
She does press in that sense, "Cathedra obviously doesn't want the REA to having research some method of... 'Unification' through Mind Control, and the Voidframe? It would be incredibly damaging if it was Mass Produced."
But what she doesn't say yet is it would require Yuliana to leave Elisa - that more than anything else, is what would be needed, that's for the Doctors at the PPL to work upon, to dig into that issue, enough...
"I'm not gonna pretend that there aren't people who wouldn't think executing you isn't the easiest solution, but that wouldn't fix the underlying problem whereas a deal with you might."
As Yuliana's posture becomes vulnerable, tentacles curling about her legs, Leina gives her a sympathetic look, "It was a near death experience after all. It's perfectly understandable to be scared, but you can't just - close yourself off. You need to get better."
She looks away for a time, then takes a breath and, "I was freaked out too after - everything in Space. I think I cried like a child when Mom told me that I needed... the kind of therapy I did, I told her I didn't want it. But - I know I needed it. So it's okay to be scared but, we also need to push ourselves a little."
A pause and...
"The allure of not doing that is... it's comfortable, but you don't get better like that."
Sayla didn't, Leina thought - until Leina pushed her out of that room... after Axis. Yuliana agrees that she will, and she brightens instantly, "Oh! That might be a good idea or there might be other arrangements - I know LiSA will be thrilled."
The idea of LiSA being at the Silent Castle is uncomfortable but...
Leina nods quietly, "Sadly I put myself at risk even calling you. Like." She pulls one side of her headset away from an ear, so Yuliana can hear the Sheryl Nome playing, before putting it back in.
"I had to sweep for bugs twice, put on that music, use a method that would look like my door malfunctioned if my security tried to come in, and utilize an encrypted line that Cathedra doesn't know about."
She knows that Yuliana was in intelligence, so she'll understand the methods one has to take here.
"It's serious... that's why I want to work on this enough that - I can feasibly make the kind of deal you need."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa was human, once... but a long time ago.
It's the only way it makes sense, isn't it?
"I still have faith," Yuliana insists. "I must." She never says why she believes these things so strongly. "... I guess getting some distance from Her has been... easier, on me, but... I do wonder, you know, if I'm just making things worse for myself." She's quiet, for a moment, before she shakes her head. "As for my Callers," she says, "they are the people who were abandoned. We've been able to strengthen their communities, give them meaning, help them escape horrific things... some do wish to know the Void, but how can I turn them away? When this world has failed them." She thinks she's helping them.
Yuliana looks down, at her tentacles. "I... don't know if NUNE would ever exonerate me," she says, downcast. "I'm not even completely human any more... let alone Elya." She doesn't think she'd have to leave Elisa behind, evidently. "We're different... normal people are scared of us. It's not even like I'd mind helping those people fix the North Pole, or anything, but..." And here she pauses, lifting a hand, holding it to her chest. "... though I'd have to ask my wife," she adds, remembering.
Elisa has her own uses for that ice, after all.
Noting the way Leina tells her not to close herself off, Yuliana... at least drops her knees down so her legs are sprawled on the couch, instead of holding them up to herself. It's not entirely fixing her posture, but she did something! Just like the doctors say, over there!
And -- "Of course we can make all the arrangements," Yuliana says, completely missing the point of the concerns in reassuring Leina. An attempt was made.
She tilts her head, though, when Leina says she's at risk. "I'm terribly burdensome to you, aren't I?" She says, sadly. "I regret that they make you go through all that trouble, just because they hate me so much... but really," she adds, frills fanning against her head as she glances away awkwardly, "I'm glad you'd go to all that trouble for me, Leyasha. I... feel quite trapped, sometimes... or confused. That I have such a considerate friend is... it's very helpful. It means... very much. All right?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"Faith." Leina repeats quietly. And part of her remembers those old treatises she read of the first Space settlers who brought their Gods with them.
Until it was replaced by faith in something else, something more human.
"Is just belief without evidence. You know she exists, you know she's fixated upon you. Those things are no longer matters of faith - so what's left?"
The look she has is concerned, but there's also - a little frustration, because to her the logic of this is obvious but - she knows that it's hit or miss convincing her of such things, even with patient effort, "It's whether you can trust her to do what's right by you, by the people in your care. You don't know that. Even your wife can't say that with any degree of certainty. So is it really right to usher them in that direction? They're trusting you to know this is good for them - but you don't even know that it's good for you."
Would NUNE exonerate her? Leina doesn't know that for certain, and she's aware of it - but she also believes it's the best path forward. Yuliana doesn't have any other choice but the Void or a Shallow Grave...
... and perhaps still the Void.
Unless they can somehow fix this. "It's not that they're just scared of you for what you are. The King of Braves hasn't been human for a long time, and while he's had his own struggles - he's accepted for what he does. It's what the two of you did that scared everyone."
Leina tries to make that important distinction. "It was a unilateral decision to try to change the nature of humanity. That's more frightening than any number of Axis Shocks. Sure your wife said she's changed her mind - but she could change it again tomorrow. And if she did - I think you know that you'd back her up, and say it's because of your vows."
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Leina sighs, because it's - difficult for her to understand how to get this across, to actually make change when Elisa can work against what she says trivially.
"If you could fix the North Pole - I think it would go a long way, so long as it didn't require human sacrifices, or cause further harm to the world or humanity - or spread the influence of the Void further. But the real problem is - the ability to make these unilateral decisions that can change the nature of humanity."
Her hand covers the bottom half of her face, below the microphone for a time, then she drops it, "That's why I had my ability to do so sealed away, that it could only be used in defense and only if multiple people in leadership - and myself all agreed with each other. Because the decision shouldn't just be mine. Because people shouldn't be able to do things like conjure psychic fields that can push the Earth off its orbit or rip holes between dimensions for a Goddess to come through."
As she notably shifts from an example of something she can potentially do, to something that Elisa and Yuliana did.
Eventually however, Leina leans backwards, "I'm not sure burdensome is the word for it-?" Leina means that in a kind way, even if burdensome really ISN'T the word for someone who almost purposefully broke the world. "... I'm glad to be your friend, it means a lot to me too."
However, some part of her does think... 'I wish you made it easier.' despite her best efforts not to.
"Just... the enormity of the trouble you're in, it gets to me from time to time? But I know that trying to help you is the right thing to do."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I can't... abandon my faith," Yuliana insists, with Elisa's words. And she's visibly uncomfortable to have to say out loud, "Elya told me not to. I..." There's stress in the tension on her brow, thinking of how her people are trusting her; even if it was always a pantomime, she did take her command seriously, in the Federation. "Elya thinks it's good to bring them closer," she says, as if that's an answer to her concerns.
It isn't.
Yuliana laughs, though the sound is shallow. "Ha... I'm no King of Braves, Leyasha," she says, and evidently has some respect for Guy Shishioh, somewhere in her black little heart. But... would she follow Elisa, if she decided to go back on her word?
... that question doesn't matter, because Elisa doesn't just go back on her word for no reason.
She frowns, down at her hands. "The decision isn't just mine, either," she pouts. "I couldn't set Emptear up on my own... I need Elya's help for that. If we didn't both agree, she wouldn't fight..." ... but does it really count as two keys turning to unlock a weapon if one is tied to the other?
"But... I was doing those things before I got into Emptear, Leyasha," Yuliana points out, frowning. "She just... protects me, so I don't hurt myself doing it. So if they sealed that away, they'd just lock me up... I don't like to be trapped in one place," Yuliana sulks, and doesn't make a single connection between those feelings and her gilded cage.
She smiles, looking to the camera. "I am glad to be... your friend, Leyasha. Perhaps I am not so good at everything I ought to do," a statement which handily avoids anything definitive, "but I am glad for you. Do excuse... all the trouble, won't you?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
That isn't an answer to her concerns at all, so Leina tries to come at it from another angle.
"But you also heard that she understands that the Empress isn't acting in your best interests. That she can't - because the Empress doesn't understand humanity. ... You can't really have faith in the benevolence of someone who can't understand you, and your needs."
There's a momentary pause as she presses, "Yuliana if you can't believe in this for any reason other than... because she told you to, then you can't... do this to other people. They're trusting that this will help them."
It's a gamble she knows, but Yuliana has been more considerate of the feelings of others' recently, "Put yourself in their shoes. They're vulnerable people, who are looking for something better. If it were you- and you found out that the person leading you isn't even sure their Goddess can help them, then - wouldn't you feel betrayed?"
It's a simple scenario there, but perhaps - it might get to her this time. "Yeah I know I'm just - saying, he isn't human either - and humanity was afraid of him for that. He got there. You could too, but you can't do that by - making those kinds of decisions for humanity."
Yuliana does after all note it's not just hers, but she points out, "It's still making decisions for humanity that the rest of humanity has no say in. You just told me you don't even consider either of you human - I think you're both wrong - but while you believe you're both not, do you really think you should be making decisions for people who define themselves as humans?"
It's again frustrating that - that's her conclusion, but it's not like there's nothing to it, "They didn't lock me up, Yuliana. Sure I'm protected but - Singularity 02 is sealed away. I'm still getting to make my own decisions, to live my life. It's just I'm fighting for - humans to be human. That what humanity is - is defined by all of us, together. Not just a select few with all the power."
There's a beat and...
"The God that is Possibility should be - a script that we all write together. That is what I learned from everything we happened during Laplace. To try to take that away - to seize it for yourself is to be Martha Vist Carbine."
Note - she doesn't directly accuse Yuliana or Elisa of being such, but she simply sets up the moral weight of unilateral decisions to be wrong.
In the end, she manages a smile too, despite the gravity of the conversation, "I always do. It's okay not to be good at everything one ought to do, I certainly am not - but you and me - we can both try to make good decisions going forward."
Leina shifts then to tangible things. "Be sure to message your Doctors - I'm sure they'll understand if you do a couple weeks of televisits. Push yourself a little towards getting back to in person as soon as you can."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Of course I can," Yuliana says, though her voice is thin. "Elya wouldn't lie to me. And -- and I never claimed to be infallible, it isn't like I've started some cult," yes she has, "but maybe some people want it, maybe some people are like me, is that really so bad? Is that... really so bad?"
Yuliana quiets, though, after those tense repeated questions. "... I'll... talk to Elya about it," she promises. "I'll talk to Elya." Is it reassuring? Yuliana seems to think so.
She frowns, hugging her arms about herself. "We're not even involving the Earth any more," she sulks. "And how can you say it's the same? You couldn't do those things without the Banshee... so of course they'd let you walk around like this. But even if they did -- even if they gave me a long leash -- how would it be different to the Republic, Leyasha?"
Yuliana's lips press together, to a thin line, as she frowns at the camera. "I was allowed to move as I pleased there, too... but I wasn't free. Everyone just thought I wasn't trapped... since that leash was so long, and I suppose I never said anything about it. But I couldn't make my decisions and live my life, not really... and really, can you?"
She gestures, towards the camera. "You had to go to such great lengths to speak with me," she points out. "It's not permitted. You've gone against your handlers' wishes..." And it's here her eyes widen, and she goes a touch pale, despite her dark skin, her hand jerking back.
"I had better go," she says, frills pinned to the back of her head. "I don't wish to get you in trouble. I -- I will -- I'll call them. I'll invite Sayaka here, and... I'll speak with Dr. Kimura on the phone, I will. I'll do all that -- and I'll speak with Elya, so -- we'll talk when it's safer, all right? When it's safer."
She can imagine what might happen to Leina, after all, based on what always happened to her. No wonder she's worried.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
She has to calm herself, still herself at the idea that Elisa wouldn't lie to her but the idea of infallibility? "No but - you act like she is." Is the simple answer that Leina eventually chooses, "Believing someone can never be... just wrong, allowing them to wield that kind of authority over what you even believe, is the whole problem."
And she nods in acknowledgement to not involving the Earth, "You're not - but your wife could change her mind tomorrow, and you've already indicated in the past - if she did, you'd go along with it."
A distinct pause as she parses how it'd be different for a moment before she answers, "Well for starters - they wouldn't put you in a lab, or require you to fight for them. Cathedra isn't for allowing anyone to make decisions that would use you to change the nature of humanity."
However, Yuliana does have a point on whether she does, and Leina sighs lightly, "I won't say I have complete and total freedom. I think anyone who says that is - just lying to themselves. Even my brother - back when he prided himself on being a free man, he was still bound to me. To his responsibility towards me - or to things like poverty - or being a minor - or to whatever freelance work was being offered at the time..."
She trails off, as if thinking on the topic, "I made my choice - and I made it to give a lot of people freedom they wouldn't have, at the sacrifice of a little bit of my own. And I think - that was worth it. I don't regret it."
There's a shrug of her shoulders, and- "Sure - what I'm doing right now - it's forbidden. That won't stop me from doing what's right though. We all do our best to do what we think is right, no matter our current circumstances."
And indeed she puts a hand over her chest as she tells her, "Please help me to ensure it continues being what's right, Yuliana. That's the trust I'm putting in you, as my friend."
When she says she'd better go, she nods, trying to keep the smile on her face. "Okay. When it's safer. Good night."
When the call ends, Leina takes off her headphones and-
Let me freely be a little girl
Wrapped up in a fluffy, fragrant blanket,
If I chirp for you sweetly, will you give me a reward?
In short, I don't want to protect
I want to be protected,
By you, and you alone.
Right now in a dorm room all alone, she envies Yuliana in one respect. It's easy to say that the choice she made was the right one.
It's easy to say that, but it doesn't change that feeling right now, of wishing there was someone here with her.
She should turn off the music, deactivate the magnet and go to bed, but she needs a minute.
Maybe more than one.