2024-04-26: Our Own Path
- Log: Our Own Path
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2024-04-26
- Summary: Elisa and Yuliana change up Sokrova's cat gym to keep him entertained, only for Yuliana's appreciation of his innocent joy to remind her of what her other doctor told her. She's initially reluctant to discuss Dr. Kimura's advice with Elisa, but under her wife's encouragement, she shares her misgivings over Elisa's blood rituals -- and Elisa quickly turns it around into an issue with the Photon Power Labs trying to change Yuliana into something safer for them. Yuliana realises she's been manipulated... by Dr. Kimura, of course. But Elisa doesn't outright tell her to leave; of course Yuliana can still use them to get what she needs. (Content warning: domestic abuse)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Aaand... there!" Yuliana is current screwing in -- not a wanzer plate -- but a platform; Sokrova's cat gym has a changeable interior which they alter every so often to keep him mentally engaged. About the only thing which can't be changed around in here is his heated pool!
Their sweet little boy paces around in the hall, almost as big as the servants who pass him.
Yuliana's currently up on a step ladder, putting the finishing touches on a jumping puzzle jutting from the wall. She puts a hand on the platform and looks over her shoulder, to ask: "How's the greenery going?"
Of course they imported real plants from China, just to make Sokrova feel at home here.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"It is well," Elisa answers of the greenery, putting it in place. It grows a little wild, looks a litle hungry, but that's probably fine. Surely fine.
Elisa continues to work on it, channeling just a little bit of energy to keep it 'healthy'. She is not worried about Yuliana on the step ladder, for once.
"I believe that Sokrova will enjoy this additions," Elisa says.
There is much and more on her mind, but... She does not immediately share it.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana does so enjoy coming back home. She's taken away by the PPL for up to weeks at a time! But who will care for dear Sokrova when she's gone?
(The servants, who may want to be careful about those plants.)
"It looks great!" Yuliana enthuses, of the shrubbery, as she tests the connections one last time (Sokrova's a heavy boy!), and tromps on down the ladder. She does not fall off and break anything! And her efforts have created an ascending pattern of shapes for Sokrova to climb up.
There are a lot of things to climb on and hide under, here. It's a cat gym.
"Do you think we're ready to call him in?" Yuliana asks, endless eyes shining.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
For far, far too long, Elisa would say. The servants only need to beware of the prickling parts of the plants. They surely will not actively seek to harm them. That would not be what plants do.
But sometimes...
"As does your structure," Elisa says. "I do so enjoy your engineering mind."
She considers that. "Yes," Elisa says after a moment. "Though we will have to give him some time alone, to familiarize himself with his new territory, of course."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Ahhh, Elya!" Yuliana blushes, hands to her cheeks. "He just loves to figure out how to climb up things! I had to make him something interesting!"
She returns to her wife, admiring more closely those hungry, hungry plants for a moment, before: "Sokrova!" Yuliana raises her voice to call out. "Come, come! Come and see!"
And Elisa's familar lopes on in, with a happy chuffing noise. He of course dives right into the greenery, and all but disappears inside -- especially with how green he is. A pair of yellow eyes betray his position as he gazes at them, before he bounds out to rear up and put his giant paws on Elisa's shoulders and bump his head into hers.
"Aww! He's so happy!" Yuliana says, as she reaches over to scritch his ears while her tentacles rub at his flank. Chuff, chuff, happy tiger noises. "Look at you! Who's our little boy? Who's our little boy?" He is, in fact, BIGGER than Elisa now he's on two paws.
(He won't hurt her though. He knows Elisa is very strong.)
Soon enough Sokrova gets down, though, and bounds up onto the climbing puzzles Yuliana designed for him. "Ahhh, what a sweet boy!" Yuliana sparkles, looking at his antics. "His joy is so innocent..."
But the way she describes it may well remind her of what she wrote in her journal, not too long ago, because she trails off, and her frills wilt.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa smiles. This time, it is not particularly toothy, for better or worse; she watches Sokrova bound out, rear up, and she bumps her head into Sokrova's in return. "Hello," she says, and strokes his side before he moves gain. He is bigger, but--it's fine.
"Yes. Our little boy is quite healthy..." Sokrova moves on to explore, and Elisa sees that sparkling joy of Yuliana's turn to something else. 'Innocent', she says.
"...Let us leave him to his enjoyment," Elisa says, "And come and talk. What is on your mind, my darling?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yes," Yuliana agrees, slipping her hand into the crook of her wife's arm. "He will need to get used to his new territory, won't he...?"
Sokrova, behind them, is having an absolute ball. And it might have been easy for Yuliana to distract herself from that momentary trouble, to appreciate his enthusiasm -- but Elisa notices something is bothering her, so naturally she leans on her, instead, as they leave.
(The halls are colder than the rooms they live in. It's more difficult to warm them, through fireplaces and heat vents.)
"I just remembered," Yuliana says, "something Dr. Kimura was talking about. He said I should..." Talk to her wife about her feelings; she'd written in her journal about how intimidating the prospect was, not wanting to upset her darling wife.
"Oh," she sighs, "it doesn't really matter what he said. They say a lot of irrelevant things over there..."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa could have let it go. But she didn't. Instead, she walks Yuliana through the cold hallways, and listens to her speak. She listens as she finds herself intimidated by the propsect... and this is something she can address.
"I don't mind if you talk to me about it," she says. "Indeed, one of the things I approve of is his notion that you can bring to me anything that is on your mind."
She smiles. "That much, at least, is relevant. So by all means. You can tell me."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa reassures her, and Yuliana doesn't think, in the moment, that Elisa already knows. She does know that Elisa can read her journal, of course -- she specifically gave her permission! -- but surely her approval of Dr. Kimura's attitude towards communication is just a normal thing to express.
So she smiles, looking up to her wife. (She wouldn't need to look up, except that Elisa enjoys heels much more than Yuliana does. The half-a-head of height she has on her is entirely artificial.) "Of course, you're right," she says, her heart eased. "I just... didn't want to upset you, zhenushka." Her dearest wife can be sensitive, too. Isn't it an unreasonable concern?
She dips her head, leaning on her wife as she walks her down the hall. Elisa is no warmer than the haunted walls, but she's a source of support, anyway. "I just... was talking to him about how troubled I was... I'm not so tough these days. It's not that it bothers me -- it shouldn't bother me -- it's just, you know, Leyasha said that anyone on the street could have been me, and..."
She trails off a moment longer, but this time, she picks her train of thought up without needing so much encouragement. "Just, you know, I noticed how I was bothered by the servants, and -- and now I'm just -- I dwell a little on the rituals. It's not a problem, or anything," she insists, though her frills wilt, "I just noticed how it's -- it's different. The way we hurt people is -- different. Of course I accept you, zhenushka -- I love you! -- it's just, I..." She sighs, again, deflating against her wife. "I am too troubled by morals, I think," she says, quietly. "It's not that different... really." To forcing a man to kill himself, presumably; Yuliana is always thinking about herself.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It's fine if Yuliana doesn't think about Elisa already knowing. That's not a problem, for Elisa.
Elisa can be sensitive, of course. She would not say so, but it is true. But she doesn't show that just now. Instead...
"They could have been," Elisa says of Leina's words, "But they weren't. What 'could have been' is only possibility. It is not 'real' unless we make it so."
A pause. The rituals, hmm...
"I think that they are starting to fill your head with some strange ideas," Elisa says, frowning. "Once, you would have gladly destroyed those lesser than you for what purposes you wished."
"I do not like them impugning your freedom in this way. You are a beautiful being. ...You do not need to be held back in this way."
A pause. "But of course, they also teach you many more useful things. I am not saying that you should leave them."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Mm," Yuliana hums, nodding agreement. "It's just a what-if..."
Does that mean it doesn't matter?
But Elisa worries about what they're telling her, out in Japan, and Yuliana frowns too. She leans her weight against her wife, tilting her cheek into her, closing her eyes. (Elisa won't let her trip over anything; she has full faith in her wife.) "I know," she says, muted. "It's not like it's not useful, or anything. It's just..."
As if it was her idea, "I'm... easily swayed, Elya. I get very emotional... it's easy for people to throw me off-kilter. My heart isn't steady like yours... sometimes I'm rather jealous!" She laughs, though that sound is muted, too.
"Is it... really holding me back, being plagued by this wondering?" Yuliana asks, looking up to her wife, brow creasing in new worry. "I used to be different... Dr. Kimura said maybe this was who I was, and not what the Republic insisted I be so I could kill who they needed to die. That's... kind of manipulative, isn't it?" Well, it's a partial identification, anyway. Of course he'd be the one doing that to her. "I thought it seemed unreasonable..."
(She didn't want to seem unreasonable, but it's easier to blame Dr. Kimura.)
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It matters precisely as much as it is useful for Elisa for it to matter.
That's good enough.
Elisa supports Yuliana with her own strength, in more ways than one. Yuliana listens, and she says--
"You are in a vulnerable place," Elisa says She even laughs. "I love your dynamic heart," she says. "So full of life. It is good."
But, "it is," Elisa says. "...Of course he would say that; it is natural, to assume that one is like one's own perspective, and more natural for them to want to make you like them. They do not wish us to continue our mission. They do not wish us to act as we have acted."
"They do not wish us to win. They wish us to become like them, instead. Safe, for them. Gentle."
"It is not bad, to let them think they have succeeded. But they will never make us 'safe' for others, my Yuliana, for we are greater than they."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And Yuliana trusts those calculations to Elisa, as easily as she breathes.
She smiles, at least, when Elisa laughs with her. "Elya," she sighs, more loving than lost, as she rubs her cheek against hers. "It is yours." If Elisa's heart is too steady to beat, Yuliana's will beat for her.
She gazes up to her, and listens to Elisa's explanations; her eyes are hungry for her sense-making, just like those plants with their stinging nettles. The world is so confusing, without Elisa's logic. Perhaps that's why she feels so lost and vulnerable, alone in the Photon Power Labs, even though her wife is never more than a phone call away.
Of course it's manipulative -- what Dr. Kimura was saying to her.
Of course that was manipulative.
(If she wonders whether it's safe for them, winning, well -- surely this is more manipulation. The Void embraces them. It's where they belong.)
"I guess I always was dangerous..." Yuliana says, glancing away as her brow knits, before she looks to her wife again. "Elya... am I too gentle?" She has always been the gentler Mistress... but perhaps she let it get to her head.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"And I treasure it," Elisa says, squeezing Yuliana's hand in affection. Her hand is chilly, from the magic she channeled earlier, but the strength in it is for Yuliana. And what she says...
Of course it's safe. Of course it will be safe. Elisa will make sure of that.
"You were," Elisa says. "It's part of what I find attractive in you. You are not bound by the petty scruples of man. You forge your own path. It is beautiful." Her voice is quiet, but not soft; she speaks with intensity.
"If you wish to be gentle," she says, "Then be gentle. But I ask only that you be what you are, as hard as you can. That is my Yuliana. ...They are trying to take from you all that is not gentleness. And that I will not abide."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa's hand may be cold, but Yuliana likes being grasped by her chill and her affection.
Her own cheeks, at least, warm with that affection, blushing prettily as Elisa praises her lack of scruples. She's captivated by Elisa's intensity, of course. She always has been. She raises a tentacle, to press it flat against Elisa's cheek; her claws on those things like hands are made for clutching, not for cradling, but the back of it serves as something like suitable.
"What I am..." She echoes, quietly, as she gazes up to her wife. (Her voice is softer, weak where Elisa is strong. They balance each other.) "They want to change me," she agrees, with a long, slow blink. "They think they can defeat us... by going after me. Well, I guess it's understandable... they would be frightened. They'd want to protect themselves. Stupid of them... do they think I wouldn't show mercy to humans who were kind to me? Ugh... I suppose I'll forgive them for thinking so little of me. They're small people."
No one said anything about them being humans. It's something Yuliana built herself, out of all the implications.
"But you wouldn't let them ruin me," Yuliana says, stroking Elisa's cheek with that markedly inhuman tentacle, smiling to her. "You'll look out for me, won't you, Elya? I don't want them to take all these things you love so much... I want to be beautiful for you." And only for her; she does have that sense of modesty, about her.
It's exclusive. It's only for her wife. She's only concerned with her wife's gaze, as she ought to be.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa raises her hand to gently close over that tentacle. The claw is welcome; it does not pierce Elisa's skin.
They balance each other. Yuliana seems to figure it out; she comes up with her approach. And Elisa inclines her head. "Yes," she says. "They think that. But you are magnanimous, my darling. You can still get what you need from them, of course."
The humans. Yes. Elisa smiles, and she hears that in Yuliana's voice as much as in her words.
"I will always look out for you," Elisa says. "And you could never be otherwise. I trust you, my darling."
As it ought to be.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And it is just as if Elisa grasps Yuliana's hand; her tentacles are as a part of her as her arms. She's not human. She couldn't be. She hasn't been, for a long time.
It is, always, Yuliana's approach, Yuliana figuring it out. Elisa hasn't told her to do anything, unlike that Dr. Kimura and his clumsy attempts to manipulate her. Her wife is much more considerate.
"Of course," she agrees, smiling. (Of course she's using them to get what she needs.)
She raises up, onto her toes, to make up for that height Elisa claims so effortlessly with her heels; her hand steadying herself on Elisa's arm, she kisses her wife, all her care and devotion carried through her lips. Even when the unadorned heels of her own feet lower back down to the cold stone floor, she stays close to Elisa, smiling to her.
"There is nothing more precious to me than your trust and your regard," she says, her tentacle curling to rest at the back of Elisa's neck. "I love you, zhenushka... and I love that you love me. I feel so safe with you..."
Elisa's always been looking out for her.