2024-02-26: .and then there are the beats we misS
- Log: .and then there are the beats we misS
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Christina MacKenzie
- Where: The Photon Power League
- Date: 2024-02-26 (ICly September 0098)
- Summary: Chris comes across Yuliana after she goes through a round of therapy, and they stop to chat. Together they discover a shared love of old 80s metal bands, interest in machines designed to rescue people, and experience with hesitating in the face of Celestial Being's aims. But there's more blood on Yuliana's hands than Chris's -- and their wavering may not lead them in the same direction.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana has begun another course of Photonic Neuromodulation Therapy, now that September has begun in earnest. She was a little worried about starting another, with how long it takes her from her wife, but Dr. Kimura has assured her that they'll try a shorter protocol this time. If they can work out how to get a good effect without needing a whole month's treatment, they'll be able to refine their approach much more -- and she may find herself responding to less and less treatment as she receives more, too.
It still leaves her feeling dizzy and a touch ill, though, as the electrodes are detached from her head via those straps. She gets out to the waiting-chairs outside the medical rooms, and sits herself down, blinking heavily. Her black and gold striped scarf is waspish, about her neck, and it matches with the SNAFU ZAKU band shirt she's wearing over a pair of light jeans.
(The tentacles which fold on the folds of her lap are just out there for anyone to see; she stopped hiding them early on, and most scientists just kind of accept them, now. It's not that unusual, in the PPL, to see a human with strange appendages, particularly one who was fighting for the forces of evil until recently. One of their enemies had a terrible habit of losing his head entirely. ... at least Yuliana's keeping her frills folded up behind her ears, to avoid upsetting any Newtypes who might be on the payroll.)
Of course, the first thing she does is ring Elisa to assure her that the first dose is done and get reassurance from her in turn; once she tucks her phone back into her pocket, she at least feels more able to string two thoughts together, collected by her wife's support.
She might just stay sitting down a little bit longer, though. Elisa did recommend she take it easy.
<Pose Tracker> Christina MacKenzie has posed.
Christina MacKenzie steps out from one of the clinic rooms, thanking the practitioner on her way out, sporting a compression brace on her right elbow. When she turns, and sees Yuliana regaining her bearings in the sitting room, it's a bit of a surprise. She's seen the woman around, but usually not long enough to see her so clearly off-balance. Not in any obvious distress, but... She's heard enough vague kibbutzing about the strenuous therapy to imagine it takes a lot out of you.
"Kafim? Are you doing alright? Do you need me to call someone over, or just need a minute?"
She hovers next to Yuliana, eyes lingering on the Orchid tendrils before glancing up back to her face with a worried smile--
"Wait, Snafu Zaku?? I didn't know you were a fan. I think I spent half of '82 killing my speakers and voice on their album."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Oh? Oh, Chris," Yuliana smiles, recognising her -- and her term of address is much more familiar. They're comrades, after all, even if she hasn't had much occasion to single her out for conversation while she's been here. "I'm all right, really... it's just the treatment they're putting -- doing for me." This isn't an evil laboratory. It's an important linguistic difference. "This new, ah, Photonic Neuromodulation Therapy Dr. Kimura developed... I just get a little dizzy."
She smiles, looking down to her shirt, tugging at its hem a little. "I've been a fan since I was a teenager, actually," she says, smiling. "And, well -- Letda suggested I present myself a little more casually here, to avoid giving anyone undue concern, so..." That is not how Parminder said it, but it's nice that she's willing to phrase it so charitably.
One of those horrible little tentacles -- it's a little like a snake, and a little like an orchid flower, and a little like a grasping claw -- lifts as if to regard Chris, though it has no eyes through which it could see her.
"Oh," Yuliana realises, glancing down to it, and back to her. "Are you worried? It's fine, really. You've even spoken to me with these before -- you just didn't realise it, since I hid them in my cloak. It happened when the Institute tried that final transgression against me... but it's all right, they don't hurt. They're just part of me." She laughs, her fingers veiling over her lips. "Actually, the extra limbs are how I handle Da Xukong 1's eight legs without going mad. Haven't you wondered about that?"
<Pose Tracker> Christina MacKenzie has posed.
"As long as it's just dizziness," she replies, reassured. "I remember you're on a lot of pharms--like that tea we had on the island--are the PPL physicians familiar with regimens like yours, then?"
Seeing a smile on her puts a spring back in Chris's step, and she pulls a chair up (instead of continuing to crouch down at eye level) to settle in to chat.
"It's rare to see you in a casual look, a little disarming even." 'Disarming' might not be the best word choice to describe a renowned black-ops assassin. "I think the last time I saw you go wild with your outfit was last year's HaroCon, the Haro cosplay--ah, I just realized: I missed this year's HaroCon. Everything's gone by so fast, now that I think about it."
The tentacle...stares. Something primal in Chris wants to identify it as a dreadful predator, and she leans to one side--arms bristling in goosebumps as she watches it adjust to follow her.
"Since the Institute--since Sri Lanka? You've had them that long?" Memories gather, tracing back their encounters, both face-to-face and cradled in steel, on the same side and separate.
"You use them to control your wanzer? That... sounds fascinating!" The predatory fear diverts slightly, making room for the engineer-engineer interface. "I always thought that you used data recorded from Earth's arachnids and mirrored half the legs to the others...but you control every leg independently? And these..." Prey still recognizes predator; a gulp as she stares back at the tendrils again. "These, ah, extra little limbs help you out? Did you have to learn how to move them or is it kind of...instinct?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"My Elisa gave them a full handover, don't worry," Yuliana smiles, to Chris, when she expresses concern over her polypharmacy. "They've been helping me, here, since... ah, have you heard?" Yuliana advances, a touch delicately.
(Emptear's assault on the North Pole left it quite green, and ever since then, she's been a supremely wanted woman from the Federation and now to NUNE. Her bounty, issued from most agencies, is 'dead or alive.')
"It is a little strange, isn't it...?" Yuliana laughs, tilting her head. "It's not that I never dressed casually before... it's just that when I was, it was usually to blend in for an operation. Ahh, but HaroCon... yes, I missed it, too," she shakes her head, brushing her bangs behind her ears. "I could have disguised myself, I suppose... but it's too dangerous for me to just appear in public unguardedly, these days." Again: dead or alive.
She nods affirmation to Chris's questions, and her tentacle settles back on her lap, as she lays a hand over them. "I can," she says, smiling. "That's how I'm able to achieve that level of mobility -- though I am integrating subroutines and mirroring into my newest project, because I'm afraid it has so many legs not even I could handle them all at once." HOW MANY LEGS IS THAT. "But these -- they're something like an extra set of hands, you see, so they're able to manipulate the levers I use to control a wanzer. I've always been able to move them... though I'm told they do tend to move themselves, when I'm asleep." Which is fine. That's totally fine and cool and normal don't worry about it.
"I haven't had much occasion to pilot lately, though, aside from helping Sayaka a few times," Yuliana sighs, looking up to the ceiling. "After some of those missions... their idea of fixing Cyber-Newtype labs... well, there are a few times I've left our mutual friends on read, I admit. But I guess I can't very well avoid it forever... it would be irresponsible to disregard the state of the world just for the sake of my own healing, wouldn't it?"
<Pose Tracker> Christina MacKenzie has posed.
She nods, reassured that transfer of care was thorough--Elisa does care quite a lot about Yuliana, doesn't she?
"I... I skimmed some of the bulletins," she admits. "I got myself in trouble, but you...really kicked the hornet's nest. I don't really understand, but... I'm in no place to judge. Leina just ambushed me last month and told me to stop avoiding her, just because I'm wanted for questioning. Koji and Sayaka are really kind...."
"It's not so strange! I think it's pretty cool to meet a fellow SNAFUhead--oh, what about HALO Demonolgia? They never got as big as Snafu, but I feel like they shared the era."
"I know what you mean--it's different when you're dressing for a purpose. If it's a covert operation guise, it's not exactly dressing casual."
"I recently..." The sheepish grimace on her face doesn't suit a life or death problem quite so much. "Last week, I had to adapt to a new uniform that I don't usually find myself in. I-I can handle it for my new project, but it's not my usual fare."
"...Oh, multipodal? More than Da Xukong's?" She again, has no room to judge. Consider also: Does the robot run on evil green magic, or unstable radioactive fallout engines?
"It's hard to step away, when piloting is what you've known. But Kafim," this time, it's an appellation of familiarity." "Don't pilot just to put your own recovery aside. Leina was just reading me the riot act, she said 'Selfishness may be the only gift you can give to yourself.' But then, you've seen what I think of our colleagues' plans, back at Gryps, so maybe I'm not the most objective advice."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana could speak for hours on how much her wife cares about her. She's distracted from it right now, though, because --
"They are, aren't they?" Yuliana sighs, shaking her head, again. "I try to be careful not to go out... it would be inconvenient for Sayaka if they knew I was here." Her smile twitches, momentarily. "Back then, you see, my Elisa and I learned -- that Elisa is a part of the Empress Herself. Unwittingly, I became the bride of God... but since the part of the Empress She cut away to send to Earth to protect me contained Her consideration for my limits, the Empress can be terribly demanding, now. So I'm just trying to... get a little space, I suppose... so I can think for myself. Not that I don't love Her, of course -- of course I want to be with Her -- but..."
If Yuliana is a little gossamer-spun delicate, here, it's surely nothing. This isn't exactly a refuge situation, is it?
(She's still struggling with that.)
She brightens, though, when Chris mentions another band from that era. "Oh, HALO Demonolgia! They're great!" She says, smile spreading to a grin. "'Provocation' is still, just, a banger."
Yuliana nods, sympathetically, as Chris grimaces. "Do your best," she tells her, quite seriously. She's aware that she might be saying this about a frilly dress, but she says it, anyway.
"It's based on the diplopods," Yuliana adds, still grinning. "Centipedes, largely -- though I might end up naming it after a millipede. Not that it's large enough for a thousand legs, but still, you know... quite a large amount."
(She's still working on making it run on evil green magic. Shari's engine design is genius, but being able to replicate its functions is another matter. Yuliana's working on it.)
She has to laugh, again, hearing how Hurricane Leina passed by. Her fingers veil her lips, as she snickers. "Heh heh, that sounds like her... haa," she breathes out, fingers curling at her chin, "it's not that I even disagree, you know. Selfishness... it's very important. No one can pour from an empty cup." That's one of the central teachings of the Silent Calling, even! "But I see what is happening to my people, and... it's difficult just to ignore it. The problems we set out to fight haven't gone away... just, no one's talking about them, any more." The media does tend to present a particular picture, these days. And, "... it still bothers me."
<Pose Tracker> Christina MacKenzie has posed.
Chris nods--she recently managed a bicycle trip up the mountain, to Inokashira, and the whole time, she felt the pressure of eyes on her--living and robotic alike. The buzz of a civilian drone had been enough to raise her heart rate.
She has considerably less experience, however, in discovering that your spouse is manifest divinity. Sure, Sayla kept her first life secret, and that alone was a bit over Chris's head. She waits until Yuliana pauses, and tries to make sure she's understood her comrade.
"So, the Empress, er, Elisa,--so Elisa protects you from hurting yourself , but that means the Empress you both serve doesn't feel that--not anymore, because Elisa..." Okay, that makes sense; it at least makes a bit more sense than 'the orange at the birth of the universe needs to kill humans by making humans immortal'.
The trailing thoughts at the end, though, are at least something more familiar to her.
"I understand what you're saying, Kafim," the last name nevertheless spoken warmly, "I may not know the whole story, but, loving someone doesn't mean you have to always be at their side. Sometimes, distance is the best way to get closer, understand each other more. After all, if you understand who you are, you can, how do I... you can help Elisa balance your health and your faith evenly, right?"
"Yes! I never got Sayla into it, but, when the guitar leads the drummer into the solo... chills. When I first got the album, I actually--" Well, she's already started talking about piloting a mech naked, so this can't be as embarrassing. "I started singing into the wrench I was holding."
"A myriapod...like a mobile armor, or is this on a less extreme scale? Are the legs for terrain stability, maybe terrestrial towing power?"
"It was awful!" A lie; she was thrilled to see Leina, scolding be damned. "She waited outside my door without a word! For someone so loud and dramatic, she's too quiet," Chris complained, laughter crinkling her cheeks.
("No one... can pour from an empty cup, huh?") Given her recent dilemmas, the words--spoken fluently and metered by Yuliana, like a repeated creed, or a prayer--certainly have applicability to her own sleepless nights. Chris's mirth fades to contemplation, then to a grim clench at one cheek. "...It's difficult to ignore, and yet, so many powerful people put in the effort to do it anyway." A sigh, the tension in her grimace fading to tiredness. "I'm glad it bothers you. This world needs more people who care."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"It's complicated," Yuliana allows, on the subject of her marriage. She's gracious enough for that.
She does smile, though, when Chris sees the value in taking time for herself. "That's right!" She says, brightly. "I just want to be a better wife!"
Yuliana giggles, fingers veiling her lips. "Wrenches are quite good for that," she agrees. "Particularly C-Hook wrenches, don't you think?" Does Yuliana... have an opinion about what kind of wrench is best for impromptu garage karaoke?!
Obviously yes.
"Oh, it's still only about five metres tall, and I might end up revising that down a little shorter -- but right now, the build is twelve metres long," Yuliana explains, on the topic of her diplopod. "At the moment I'm testing out a set of forty-eight legs -- it's designed to be able to climb over anything and dig into anything, so that it can get into internal buildings and through urban environments. Building long instead of high is a lot easier for that purpose. If it can get in under debris, as well, reversing half of those legs will let it keep a solid grip on it to take it away -- I'm interested in how something like that might apply to rescue and cleanup." So towing is part of it, apparently.
Yuliana tut-tuts, shaking her head when Chris bemoans Leina's crimes. "Such clear entrapment," she says, regretfully. "I see she's taking well to her new position..." Yuliana, you can't call Leina a cop when you were a cop for years. That's just not fair, Yuliana.
Her smile grows less playful, though, dimming as she comes to dwell on the state of the world. "The next time they call me... I don't know what I'll do," she admits, troubled. "The Gryps incident, that Cyber-Newtype lab, even watching those kids in Azadistan who were totally out of their depth helping those guys we went in to kill... you know, I'm not unaware that Leina would tell me it cost too much to fight this way. It's not that..." She sighs, leaning forward, slinging her forearms across her knees and looking down as they support her. "No, I guess I am hesitating. There's no shame in saying that... now I'm out." Out from under the thumb of the Institute, she means. "You know, the REA managed to trick me into attacking Colombo," where the Institute was situated, "and all the people I killed that day weren't even involved in hurting me. Civilians, or just normal military men... we extended reparations, but they used my terrorism as an excuse to inflict martial law on the people. I can't just say it's easy as -- doing what must be done."
Her wrist turns, gesturing outwards with her palm. "... but at the same time, it's not like I can abdicate my power, either. I have a responsibility... if I choose not to fight, I'm ignoring all my obligations. I spent so long making the world worse... that it's unreasonable of me to insist I get to just disengage, now. So... you know, ethically speaking... it's a difficult question."
She smiles, rueful, as she looks over to Chris. "I'd ask, 'you know?', but I think you know."
<Pose Tracker> Christina MacKenzie has posed.
Chris resists the urge to propose a hangar-loudspeaker metalfest to the PPL staff. It wouldn't exactly be the most low-key way to avoid attention, for both herself and Yuliana.
Thankfully, her attention is captured by the rationale of Yuliana's new diplopod...
"Rescue and cleanup? You're working on a mobile worker, too? No, that's brilliant, though--and by burrowing into rubble, and then stabilizing the structure above, that tunnel of legs also creates a stable passage for aid worker ingress and victim egress... As long as the remaining half of the legs could bear the weight, right?" Her eyes have lit up, finding kinship yet again--unnerving tendrils or not--in this dangerous woman.
And though that gleam in her tired eyes dims with the downcast turn of the conversation, the camaraderie waxes only stronger.
"Leina told me the same thing. She reminded me, you know, that...nothing is ever simple. That at Gryps, all I wanted to do that day was give up nothing, but I almost succeeded in giving it another victim, instead." To Leina, Chris had admitted hypocritical regret--admitted that she now wanted to be home more than she was glad to have saved lives. Then, from Lockon, she heard the shot-caller's take on her outright insubordination. "I still don't quite know...how I feel about the successes I've had, nor the mistakes I made. Hard to say which is which. I don't have as much blood on my hands as," you do. "As others I've fought alongside, but Yuliana, what matters is that you're hesitating now."
"When I was recruited to...our shared 'social club', I didn't believe a word of any of it. I was just...desperate. I wanted to trick myself into hoping I could change the world." A resigned chuckle from the older woman. "I must be stupid, because now, now that I've laid my sword down--I actually believe in their creed, but not the way they've read it. To fight to end fighting, maybe you don't have to fight the same way you used to."
Chris's mouth bent upwards towards sad eyes, when Yuliana smiles in that way. She nodded.
("I do know. After all, I too...")
"Actually, maybe you're curious; my project, it's a little less inventive and articulated, but I want to use my excavation expertise to make a better humanoid rescue mech. I want to save more people, with my own two hands. Even if it's just one town, one family, even just one singular person. Maybe I'll save the people who really can change the world."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Right! That's why I've given it so many -- well, that and it's just traditional, according to Zaftran logic." Yuliana may spite the REA by naming her machines with Chinese words, but the sorokonozhka which might crawl up your leg in Zaftra specifically has forty legs. "I'm still working on fine-tuning the weight distribution, but I have a good feeling."
Chris maintains that her hesitation matters, though, and Yuliana listens. She sighs, looking out over the chairs of the waiting room. "... it was my Elisa who recruited me, you know," she shares, quietly. "Before I met her, I was a loyal soldier... but since I was an officer of the Republic, of course I saw no trouble with accepting a bribe or two. One thing led to another... before I knew it, I was handing over state secrets. And not so long after that, I was fighting for them directly... sometimes I think that if I'd never met our mutual friends, I would have never learned the defiance I needed to escape. For that, if nothing else... I should be grateful."
(But is it Celestial Being who deserves that credit -- or Elisa?)
"But whenever I try to save the world, I..."
She sighs, and shakes her head, and doesn't finish her thought.
Perhaps it has something to do with all that blood on her hands.
Instead -- with a moment's pause to take a breath -- she looks back to Chris, straightening up. "If it's not as articulated, you just haven't talked it through enough," she points out, quite logically. "Come on -- let's go see your plans." And with that, she stands, thankful to find that she's not so dizzy now.
And Chris will find, in the discussion, that Yuliana actually does have a lot of interesting things to say about how to design a machine for something other than murder.
... she got her start apprenticing under a remote mechanic, after all, who primarily serviced wanzers designed to help people cope with living far away from any kind of support. Those weren't murder machines -- they were homesteading tools.
She still has some affection for those types of machines, even today.