2024-01-21: .i should never have opened myself to our most hated foeS
- Log: .i should never have opened myself to our most hated foeS
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Naoko Suzuki
- Where: The Photon Power Labs
- Date: 2024-01-21 (ICly late March, 0098)
- Summary: After Yuliana returns from the battle against Asciel, she decides she had better leave the Photon Power Labs for a few days to let the heat around her die down. Before she can leave, though, Nova comes to visit -- and Yuliana barely tolerates her coming by. Nova tries her best to reach out and convince Yuliana to keep seeking help, though, and Yuliana makes... some kind of effort to cooperate, anyway. Unfortunately, she tries to show Nova just what pressures are bearing down on her. Faced with the image of Yuliana's body twisted by the Void, Nova is terrified -- and Yuliana feels the rejection too keenly to stick around and talk it out. (CW: brief self-injury, body horror, the wife is battered)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
In the days after Shari offered her untreated Green Fold for testing, Yuliana lost all the manic energy she'd had, bouncing into the PPL. She's compliant, certainly, but worries over why mean that she was mostly just engaged by Dr. Rain Mikamura. Through that talk therapy, Yuliana eventually confesses her horror over being compelled to act -- and there's one thing worth quoting in her notes verbatim.
"Alexis was right about me. I'm not the mechanic, I'm just the screwdriver! He was speaking of the REA, of course, but it hardly matters. I'm always just the instrument of someone else's will..."
According to Yuliana, she's quite doomed, because one is always either using others or being used -- and it's always worse to be on the receiving end of that calculation.
... and she seems to think it's her fault she's so easily used, though she never says those words in that order.
Perhaps it's no wonder, feeling so wretched, that Yuliana wanted to throw herself into a fight. But when she returns to the PPL, she says, "... it's best if I leave, for a while. Just to avoid any inconvenient questions." Remembering her wife's encouragement, she adds: "It's fine. I'll come back soon enough."
She still can't leave until night falls and everyone's gone home, though -- because if someone caught her stealth shuttle leaving in the middle of the day, they might stop her and ask questions, this being a very unwise thing to do. This does, tragically, leave her open to someone coming to the Photon Power Lab right away to stop her and ask questions, but...
... theoretically, Teletha and the Toy Box should be busy for a while. And Leina wouldn't sell her out. Liam would, she thinks, but she's sure she'll have time before he's regained his senses enough to send a complaint up the chain. She supposes Nova would, too, but the Three Ships Alliance doesn't have the power to extradite her.
She's not idle, at least, while she waits around. She returns to her sand tray, a type of therapy they've employed to account for her silence. A trained attendant -- not Rain, this time, she does have to travel to see her -- watches as she scrapes a wide, yawning hole in the middle of it all, an armed robot placed in the middle with a nondescript green block behind it. Nothing touches them; it is as if they are the site of a great explosion.
It's not that difficult to find her, because one of those tendrils snakes out from behind her ears as she concentrates on the sad work; she doesn't consume the entire Laboratory in her silence, but that slight activation does make the hall quiet.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It's safe to say that Naoko's attempt at redemption in her own eyes did not go anything like the way she imagined. For one thing, she wasn't by herself (which she wouldn't argue was for the best), but she also once again overestimated what she would be able to accomplish based on pure knowledge. She does know a lot about what makes Asciel tick, but it consistently ends up with her feeling like her understanding is lacking. That's one reason why she just can't seem to get anywhere. The other reason is simply... not being able to force the issue as much as she'd like to. Goragon's warning regarding seeking power at the cost of all else hadn't missed its mark, but ultimately, some form of greater power still felt like a hard requirement, to achieve all that she aspires to.
This is all fully self-diagnosed, of course. Naoko hasn't sought any help in this regard. She doesn't need that kind of help, she's already figured it all out. She has all the pieces of the puzzle. She just needs to finish putting it all together. The question of using or being used is quite irrelevant when you can do it all yourself. She can't do everything by herself, but whatever she can, she will.
Which is also the reason why it was Nova back there, by herself, with no Three Ships Alliance backing in sight. Selling anybody out didn't even come to mind, but then, she wouldn't consider asking Eight 'hey, did you know about Yuliana helping out the PPL' would be selling anybody out. That's just asking an innocent question, nothing wrong with that. She doesn't even know whether or not this is supposed to be some big secret, she frequently misses memos.
But maybe there's an easier way to figure things out. She could just... drop by. Ask questions at the PPL itself, before returning to the ship. The plan of course being to ask anybody but Yuliana herself, not being very sure of how that would go. Even if it's hard to shake the feelings of sympathy, owing in large part to the experience within Goragon... the warning that Shari gave her acts as a counterbalance. Not to mention, figuring out people in general, and Yuliana in particular has never been easy. All in all, it just feels like it would be really stupid to take a risk of which she doesn't even know how high it is.
So obviously, as soon as she feels the psychic lights going out down the hall she was about to pass, she breaks off from her plans and heads straight there instead. Her friends don't even get the chance to object, muzzled by her entering that zone of silence. It still feels absolutely awful. She could never get used to it. But, through her earlier exposures, she's learned how to deal with it, to a degree. Enough so to not entirely lose the tenuous mental stability that's much easier to maintain with the help of her sentient psychic crutches.
There's no way that Yuliana won't be aware that she's approaching, she realizes. So she moves with deliberation, nothing sudden about it, making clear that this isn't meant to be some kind of attack. She just wants to talk. She doesn't actually do so without making eye contact. Very briefly eye contact, before her eyes move to the sand tray. That visibly confuses her. Nooo idea what's going on there. Maybe... this is one of those things it's best not to draw attention to?
Still uncertain, she ventures, "...Uh, hi. Is this a-- well, there's probably not exactly a good time for this, huh?" She raises her hands, displaying their emptiness. "Just want to talk, if that's okay. Just... wondering, how this happened." Yuliana is free to fill in what 'this' means, exactly.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
'Doing it all yourself...'
Capitalist arrogance.
Yuliana doesn't know to accuse Nova of that, of course.
As for the secrets around her, the Kafims remain wanted by humanity at large and the Federation in specific for crimes against reality; her outstanding warrant has shifted from 'alive' to 'alive or dead'. (And an enterprising headhunter could pull in quite a paycheck, if they managed it.) While it may not be a secret that the PPL is helping her, it is, at least, also not advertised. She doesn't visit Fujinomiya, while she's here; she doesn't leave the Laboratory. It's safer that way.
And --
Before Yuliana even turns around to see that Nova's sneaking in, she growls in frustration, and swipes her hand across the sand garden, sending everything scattered as sand falls to the carpet. Black snakes -- no, not quite snakes -- lift from her lap, proving that wasn't just a fashion statement of belts under her band t-shirt, hissing at her by rattling their crests. Verbally, Yuliana adds: "Rrrgh--!!" And that might have just been her, except for the way she whirls, and demands, hotly: "What do you want?!"
So she might have known she was coming.
"Yuliana," the attendant starts, and manages to keep their voice calm. "I'm sure she just didn't realise we were in the middle of therap--"
"Shut up!" Yuliana snaps, whirling her attention back to them.
"You don't have to feel ashamed," the attendant assures her, still, somehow, managing to keep calm. (They're used to giving therapy to children. They're used to outbursts.) They look to Nova, and say: "Excuse me, miss, we're occupied right now. You can talk later."
Except --
Yuliana sags down, in her chair, as those black tentacles coil about her. "... no," she mutters, glaring at the tray. "It's ruined, anyway." Not just the sand. "Alec, just... give us a minute. Go... do your normal job or whatever."
And the attendant -- Alec -- frowns, but if Nova's here, she must have passed muster with the rest of the facility. After a moment's pause, they say, "... all right. I'll be back later."
"Sure," Yuliana grunts.
She does not gesture Nova to a chair, though, surely, there are some scattered about. A couch by the computer, for instance, if she doesn't want to sit at the table with Yuliana. Thankfully, she does remember to put her frills away, finally -- so as long as she doesn't sit too close, Nova should still be able to think properly.
Silence stretches on, well past the point it becomes awkward. Until, finally: "I don't have to explain myself to you," Yuliana scowls. "Just know that I'm a guest here." A guest receiving therapy, if what Yuliana cut Alec off of saying is to be believed. "If you have a problem with me, join the end of the queue!"
... but there's something in her defensive anger which doesn't seem quite as intimidating as the prior murder attempts. And it sounds more defiant than the peace she tried to make in their last real conversation -- Goragon excluded, that wasn't real, it doesn't count. Is this the woman who Asciel pities?
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
The Other Nova Stellar within Goragon certainly did have overt capitalist tendencies. Real or not, that was within a world of Similarity, so chances are...
Whatever the case may be, this doesn't extend to preoccupation with financial gain, Naoko isn't one to be interested in bounties. Or politics. Not really paying much attention to either, she legitimately hasn't considered that there is something that may be considered Problematic, about this arrangement. The Photon Power League couldn't possibly make a single bad decision, after all, so it stands more to reason that the arrangement exist to prevent problems, in her estimation. But that still leaves the question of how the heck all this happened.
While not exactly a frequently-seen face at the Labs, this is hardly the first time she's lended assistance during a PPL venture, in good enough graces to be trusted not to break anything while she's here. Except whoops, she sure appears to have broken Yuliana's concentration on... whatever she was doing, just by being there. Unrepentantly too, it's not like it was easy to force herself through the mental morass, even she readily chose to do so.
Given the effort, she doesn't look pleased with the prospect of being turned away after all that, but luckily Yuliana's got it, and she doesn't need to directly argue with Alec. "Sorry about this," is all she says to them in passing. They can't be a Newtype if they're here with Yuliana, they won't know that she's not actually that sorry. It's not like she has chances like this very often, so it pretty much has to be now, that's all there is to it.
And she thinks twice about responding to Yuliana's hostility in kind. Other than what she's said already, she stays silent, waiting for an okay. If Yuliana weren't showing any signs of being okay with it, backing off seemed like the wiser call. But, given that she sends the attendant away, and gives her mental breathing room... that seems as much of an invitation as she's going to get. Better believe she's taking that couch though, close proximity seems like a bad idea for multiple reasons.
"You don't have to do a thing," she readily agrees, trying to fake calm and comfort as best she can. "But I'm guessing the fact that you are a guest here means that there's something you want to accomplish. Just curious what that is. I don't think there's any point in talking about past problems, if you're doing your best to prevent future ones. Is that what's happening?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Alec assures her, as they pass her: "You don't have to apologise to me, miss."
Are they a Newtype? This is a mystery for the ages, because they leave. And leave Nova alone with their patient, at that!
And while it's not quite an invitation, Yuliana could be more hostile to Nova's visit than she is. She folds her arms, her foot lifting to press on the leg of her chair. Tap-tap-tap goes her heel, as her knee bounces.
"It's none of your business," is the first thing she says, entirely standoffish. "You're of no --" use to me, she wants to say, wants to discard this mutant Newtype out of hand. She wants to defy her Wife's wishes, spitefully, and reclaim her mastery of herself.
Except...
Yuliana sighs, and deflates, shoulders drooping down. No; she's been too cruel, in her marriage to the abyss. If she keeps shouting defiance, she'll push Her to greater and greater lengths to maintain Her grip. Yuliana oughn't provoke Her, being this unkind about Her wishes.
The Empress wants these wretched children, so she can't turn Nova away. Not without killing her to make things right, and Yuliana supposes Sayaka wouldn't be terribly understanding of that.
Yuliana sighs. "... oh, never mind," her hands shift up her elbows, to grasp at her upper arms. "You know I am the bride of God, of course." Nova was there, for Second Gate Open; she saw that massive green hand rip from the fabric of reality to curl around Emptear, just a little out of sync with physical existence. "The Divine works through me. But... I cannot resist Her will, either."
And is it any different if she's not resisting of her own volition, knowing the consequences of pushing too hard?
Anyway.
"And Her attention is... hard, on me." Yuliana's hands slip from her arms, to grasp her ribs, where she still remembers them tearing from her flesh and articulating to become six spidery legs. (Much the same as her dreams -- but made manifest in this reality.) "My Elisa cannot help me get space from Her with her own power, for she is part of Her. For this reason, I was brought here. I just... need some space, to think for myself." Her voice drops, softer and more fragile, as she looks away. "It's not asking that much..."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Completely true: Nova Stellar is involving herself with things that are none of her business. This should be unsurprising, because this is what Nova Stellar consistently does. From the first moment she recklessly jumped into combat on the Ra Mari's behalf, she's been involving herself with things she poorly understood, and was even more poorly prepared for. It's almost like she's endangering herself on purpose. Not quite the truth, but it would be a fair assumption. Just look at who she's decided to chat up today, in spite of the solid argument she herself could make on why this is a bad idea.
Somehow, to her, this feels like the natural thing to do. Certainly feels more natural than being called 'miss' by anybody. Turning eighteen did nothing to make that mode of address feel any more applicable to her. But she doesn't correct Alec or anything, they can address her in whatever way they want.
Calmly, at least ostensibly so, she stays seated, letting Yuliana figure out how to best approach this conversation. It's a lot easier than if she had to take the lead in steering it further. She has no idea what she's doing, she's just good at faking it. Like with many things in life where she can use her head over her heart.
She may not have the first clue why that happened exactly, but it appears like a good sign to her, when Yuliana decides to speak. Though she obviously doesn't view it the same way, she's not about to argue the whole Bride of God thing. What is she supposed to correct it to, 'victim of an extra-dimensional monster'? Sure, that would go over real well.
It gets interesting when she hears that admission of struggling. The wish to get away from what she'd be hard-pressed to describe in a different way than 'torture'. And that's without her even knowing what happens in Yuliana's sleep. Naturally, she's fully supportive of taking these steps.
"I see... like Shari, then." ...She just kind of blurted that out. Maybe she shouldn't have let slip that she's been in contact with Shari, she realizes too late. Quick, try to talk over it.
"I, uh, it's hard to really imagine what that must be like. But I'm sure it can't be easy. It totally makes sense to want space. I didn't know that's what you were working on, sorry for interrupting." Even if she's speaking a little hurriedly now, that sentiment is meant more sincerely than it was before. "I've done some research myself, and it's, well... not hard to see why that would be something you'd want to distance yourself from."
She wishes she could it put it as strongly as by all rights everybody should. Diplomacy is hard. Maybe... maybe focus on the positive, here, she decides, slightly leaning forward. "So how's that been going? Kinda... couldn't help but notice you were there too, fighting alongside Sayaka. Is that, you know... part of the space-getting deal?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"My plemyannitsa," her niece, "does not know a tenth of my hardship." Yuliana is harsh, correcting Nova -- but she does, at least, cede this much: "Though yes, to some limited extent, Shari is like me."
She scowls, and adds, at length: "... it's fine. I expected you people to object to me. I'll be leaving by nightfall." She'd hate to cause Sayaka trouble. Tch...
Yuliana clicks her tongue to her teeth, irate. "But really, what would you know?" She doubles down, despite herself, one leg folding over the other as she glares at Nova again. (No -- her gaze settles a little to the left of her.) It would be more flattering to say she's trying to drag information out of her foe, but it would also be wrong. She's just wounded. "You scrap of a girl -- you have no idea how much love can hurt. Though you'd think you'd look in a mirror and see the hateful eyes upon you!"
And then her pupilless eyes scrunch shut, and she turns her face away again. "Except it isn't you," a bitter pill to swallow, all told, "but that you're a wretched sight, between the Void and I. Were I not this catalyst, there you would not tear." It's a little less coherent, but she thinks she's still being clear. "The stones consume me, me, prepared for my use, made safe, they were dangerous --"
Now she hears it, anyway, unhinging from material logic. And at once Yuliana's hand curls to a fist, and raises up -- to impact, sharply, with the fabric of her jeans at her thigh. "Ch--!" She shakes her head, vigorously, and takes a sharp breath. "Excuse me," she mutters, staring doggedly at the base of a bookcase rather than Nova herself. "You're a difficult person to sit beside."
Which might sound strange, with how horrific Yuliana's aura feels to the Awakened, but neither does she sound like she's lying.
"Anyway. You asked -- why I was helping her. Sayaka." Orient to the person. "It's not part of our deal. She even said I was just here to heal. I just -- these people aren't soldiers," she gestures out, towards the door, and the Lab beyond. "... I felt that I should back her up, since she's done her best to aid me. And -- and it's not as if removing that Fold from my person didn't improve things. I'm no longer summoned to audience with Her each and every night... well, not that it's completely stopped, either." There's a reason she knows the untreated Fold was dangerous, after all.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko does not know that word, but she is more familiar with the nature of Shari's experiences than Yuliana perhaps knows. And thus, imagining it being ten times worse is more alarming than Yuliana perhaps realizes.
There is an impulse there, brief though it is. It's always there, almost a compulsion: when someone clearly needs help, and she believes there's something she can do to help them, then she is moved to act. It may be visible in the concern that crosses her expression. But it's Yuliana's own attitude that does the most to cut the moment short.
"I'm not though, when did I say I objected?" She frowns, looking confused, genuinely not understanding how it's possible her curiosity she was misunderstood that badly. Is it any wonder she found it hard to grasp? These reactions don't make any sense! ...Because they're rooted in emotion, and despite how she may parse on a mental level, her understanding of emotions is not even close to being on the level of the average Newtype with the same degree of psychic attunement. She's not too proud to admit to that.
"I just, I don't understand, why are you always attacking me?" If not physically, then verbally. The hostility is clear, she even has somewhat of an idea of the reason. But she has to emphasize: "I do not have any personal problem with you." No lie. It's the world getting torn apart that she has a problem with. People being hurt and attacked for no reason - especally when the people include her. If Yuliana could just stop doing that, please and thank you, she's sure that there are things they could see eye to eye on. Contrary to Yuliana, she does not consider what Goragon showed her to be fake in the slightest. A Possibility exists where they could get along.
However, she has zero defense against a barb like not knowing how much love can hurt. That actually causes her to blush a little - where on earth did her mind just go? However, it's not long before her mind against returns to Goragon. From that, she can conclude at least one thing, in a softer voice than before, eyes averted. "...I know how much the absence of love can hurt. But exchanging one type of hurt for another... I don't believe that's the way it should work."
She gives Yuliana another curious look, unable to really follow the conversation anymore, past that point. That is, until that sudden action of the woman seated further away, which gives her a start, blinking blackly at the sudden increased coherence. It... sure feels like choosing to not sit in too close a proximity was the best decision. 'Same to you,' she wants to say, but doesn't. She sure wouldn't want to be any closer to that aura of, well, Nothing. Yet, again, she refuses to make it personal. She won't blame Yuliana for being the way she is. Because that's not fair. She only wishes she could be extended the same courtesy.
She's not risking another escalation by making such a demand, though. She's just glad that Yuliana seems to have calmed down a bit again, and it stopped feeling like she should be getting ready to run away at a moment's notice. It shows in the subtle relaxation of her seated posture. "...I see. Well that sounds perfectly reasonable." Unlike some of the other things that were just said to her. "That, I understand very well. Someone helped you, you want to help them. I'm glad to hear it, really, that it was just... something you wanted to do. It's nice, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I just hope... that you'll let those who want to help you keep doing so. That's all."
She won't say it out loud, but... a comparison is being made, with Asciel. Anybody could see how poorly she's doing, for consistently refusing help. Even if she doesn't understand Yuliana's situation nearly as well, the sentiment is no less genuine for it: no one should feel that forced to follow one particular path, no matter how much it hurts them.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I know you do!" Yuliana snaps, when Nova expresses that confusion over supposedly objecting to her being here. The rank hypocrisy of her assuming how Nova feels when she objects so much to Newtypes tearing emotions from someone else's heart... is something she completely fails to notice. (Expecting to be abandoned, and abandoning them before they can get the chance --)
The absence of love, the presence of love... they're both painful, aren't they?
She's certainly not an easy woman to get along with, even with Nova working this hard. But when Yuliana gets a grip on herself, she frowns, folding her arms again. "This world won't accept me," she mutters, "no matter what I do..."
She takes a deep breath, and sighs. "... but it's not like I ran off, you know," she adds, "even when She stepped in. I've been cooperating." It's sullen, but she is, at least, still talking, and she reminds herself of her compliance in the process.
"... it's not like I have a personal problem with you, either, you know," she says, scowling. "You try -- having a vengeful whisper at your back baying for your bowing blood without being a little cantankerous." She doesn't know just how funny that statement is, delivering it with that same sullen tone. "I've no clue why She hates you, but I assure you, it's a constant feature of your presence. If you wouldn't rend the sky around you with all that space which should have something, maybe it would be easier to ignore!"
But she stops, then, and tightens her grip on herself, glaring at the window. "No," she shakes her head, "that's not your concern. Never mind something you can't help." And of course she says it because she's said too much, but it could be construed as a little less harsh to Nova, just the same.
"There are just... a lot of demands on me. That's why I'm such a demanding woman." She weighs up her options, before she pulls her phone from her pocket, and flicks through her files until she reaches one in particular. "Let me show you." And, when she leans forward, extending the screen of the phone towards Nova so she can see from her seat on the couch --
-- it must be Yuliana. The woman there has the same scarred, dark skin, green frills behind her ears, tentacles rising from her back. But her eyes are blindfolded by an emerald cloth, and she is slumped forward, dark blood dripping from her lips down her chin. Her arms clutch the mess of red which is her chest, because six of her rib-bones have torn themselves from their seating, grown into long, spindly spiders-legs which support her as her legs hang slack. They clatter over a black floor, in the middle of a black chamber.
Nova may recall the six shadow-legs which appeared from the void in Emptear's chest -- and the way the machine slumped, supported by them.
She may even realise, horrifically --
"This is one of the images from Emptear's internal camera, on the second day of the twelth month," Yuliana says, gravely, holding it there for long moments before she pulls herself back from leaning over the table to put her phone away. "On that day, my flesh was torn apart in reality as it is when I sleep. But that time -- I couldn't wake up. If my Elisa had not restored my flesh, I would have died, too much of the Void to live in this world."
She looks down at her pocket, and her words ring hollow.
"It was a gift."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko is willing to accept that others are a better judge of her than she herself is. She is not willing to accept it from Yuliana, though, especially when the judgement is wrong with 100 percent certainty. She doesn't notice the hypocrisy so much, it's just making false claims without proof that she has a problem with here. Certainly not helping the whole acceptance thing. But even so...
"I don't give a shit about what the world thinks," she suddenly changes tone, sounding like quite the convincing echo of her alternate self. "There's people who care about you. As long as you have that, and the freedom to choose, who cares what anyone else thinks? It's only when your choices rob other people of theirs that problems happen. And that goes both ways."
That's what logically makes sense, isn't it? People who care about you will help make sure you get the chance to make your own choices, but they can't support choices that are obviously bad. It's all so simple. Well, it should be, yet it never is somehow. It's very strange that things so often don't work the way she thinks they should.
It's... quite the revelation to her, to learn about what the Empress thinks of her. She looks perplexed, though of all things it's the phrasing of it that she gets hung up on, and gets a little exasperated about. "Uhhh... isn't that the other way around? The Void is where the Nothing is, it's literally in the name!" After a short pause, she starts to realize, "Oh. Oh, I get it. It's like some kind of twisted mirror. We're the Nothing to each other."
She states it matter-of-factly enough, but she drops into silence for a moment after, having to rearrange a few things in her mind. She never fully realized that's how it works, and it begins to explain so much. She's even getting new ideas in how to use this in regards to her current project. But, no, she can't go into Work Brain now, gotta keep her mind on the conversation. Which she snaps back into on the words 'demanding woman'. She feels as if she can probably hook back into wherever that may have been going. But that's before she sees that where it's going is a terribly disturbing picture.
...What was Yuliana expecting, showing Naoko such a sight? The girl lets out a scream of primal terror, falling off the couch more than anything else, quickly scrampering off further to the back of the room. She's going to be seeing that in her nightmares. There's nothing more she can coherently reply with, now. She just remains with her back pressed to the wall, wondering aloud, "W-w-why would you s-show me that?!?"
If nothing else, once she calms down... she'll have to acknowledge that this certainly does make the claim that this isn't something she can help with significantly easier to believe.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I just told you it's more complicated than that!" Yuliana yells back, when Nova starts talking about her freedom of choice. "I must mind my Wife!"
She frowns, though, when Nova realises what she means. "There -- should be something there," she, to her credit, does try to explain. "The part of you communing with that other reality. But I can't see it. I should be able to see it and I can't. I just see -- there should be something. And with you, it's -- so much! You're all but drowning." Her fingers tighten, as she clutches her hand to a fist to remind herself her muscles still work in order. "And where it was all torn away, it leaves torn edges, in the world. In those tatters, She looks through. She is always with me -- always watchful -- but this world denies Her, most of the time. Particularly around the level of affliction you're dealing with... She draws closer to me. She yearns to be with me..."
Is that why Yuliana was trying to bring the Void into this world?
And bringing the Void into this world is hardly a pretty sight, as Nova soon realises.
Yuliana recoils back into her chair when Nova screams. Her eyes widen, looking to her again; her lips curl up, over one too many teeth, and the tentacles beside her lift and gnash their jaw-claws in protest. "I thought you wanted to understand where I was coming from," she says, bitterly scorned, as she stands with such force that her chair clatters down behind her.
"But I'm so sorry seeing that was so hard on you," she spits, fists tightening beside her. "You must be so shaken going through something like that!"
The thought of advancing on her does cross her mind; it easily crosses her mind, the bloodlust as natural in her mind as anything she's given. But Yuliana snarls, and turns, stalking out of the room at a rapid clip instead.
"Stupid," she can be heard muttering, bitterly, before she slams the door shut behind her.