2023-12-26: Hedgehog Spines
- Log: Hedgehog Spines
- Cast: Anita Rosetta, Shinji Ikari, Naoko Suzuki
- Where: Lounge, Ra Mari II
- OOC - IC Date: 0097-12-26
- Summary: Wishing to smooth things over with Shinji after their previous meeting went so very poorly, Naoko turns to Anita for help, in hopes that the one who witnessed what went wrong would know how to make it not go wrong this time. Predictably, things get awkward, but in the end...
<Pose Tracker> Anita Rosetta has posed.
The Ra Mari II is home to many places for the crew to meet and relax on or off duty. Given the season the ship is currently docked, and many are off visiting family. As a result, it's not difficult to find a lounge where one can watch the news in peace. There's a lot going on in the world today, after all.
The TV in the corner goes over current events, and the vending machines on the side wall quietly hum. It's quiet, except for that - which means it won't be hard to hear two sets of footsteps approaching.
Anita, for her part... leans against the side wall, eyes turned toward the TV. She doesn't announce herself or why she's here just yet, waiting for a lull in programming - and as the current channel turns toward commercials, she finally speaks up.
"Hey, Shinji?" Anita greets, taking a step forward. She looks to the side just briefly before back to him. "Nova wanted to talk to you about what happened last time. D'you think you're up for that?"
She can't - and shouldn't - apologize for her, but she can at least be there to help mediate. It's probably best for both of them.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
The quieter, emptier halls are a plus and a minus for Shinji. Despite everything, he doesn't really hate people; he gets lonely, he enjoys hanging out with friends. But... well, there's definitely a lot going on in the world and has been for the past few months, but especially since the start of December. Shinji had holed himself up in his room for a while after news of the Nagoya Massacre had hit, even.
But then the news about Infinity and the climactic battle against Dr. Hell in Fujinomiya City had hit--hell, the Ra Mari II had been in the area to help, so technically he'd been right there, if as a bystander rather than a combatant--and... Shinji'd had a weird dream then. He doesn't really remember it, in the way dreams normally do, but he has a feeling that something special happened. Ever since then, he's been... calmer? More able to handle his stress?
Either way, he returned to work, and even started watching the news on the regular. Right now he's watching a re-run of the statement Dr. Sayaka Yumi had made on Goragon, Bud and the Osanshoo-san on their head tucked on his lap and between both arms. Shinji leans his chin on the squishy salamander phone atop the regulation size Haro as he watches, gaze a little distant. We'll just have to do better, huh...
But then the commercial break comes, and Anita, who's been hanging out for the past while, speaks up. Shinji turns an unsmiling look her way. He grimaces when she says what she's here for. He's on a more even emotional keel than he was when he and Nova met, but that doesn't mean he's thrilled at the prospect of talking to her again.
"Is she just going to barge in anyway if I say no?" he asks.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
There are plenty of regrets in Naoko Suzuki's life, many of which relating to interactions with other people that didn't turn out the way she wanted or meant to. Her attempt to motivate Shinji (and get some good food out of it in the process) is one such event that went spectacularly wrong, for reasons that she failed to understand at the time. Well, other than the general notion that consistently successful human interaction feels like a difficult proposition, when there are so many differences between any given two humans.
Being transported into a world of pure Possibility has a way of putting things into perspective. Seeing what incredible differences can result from just a slight change in circumstances... suddenly it's not so hard to see how her 'motivation' could have an entirely different effect if it was interpreted in a different way. She felt bad about her mistake before, but only now does she feel at all confident that she might be able to change her approach and do better.
Problem is, she doesn't expect Shinji would give her the time of day after what happened last time, figuring it would start the same way it ended before. An apology probably wouldn't be very effective if she needed to chase him down and have a yelling contest about it. But how would she go about preventing that?
Failing to come up with an answer on her own, she decided she needed help. And who better to assist than the one who was there to see how bad it got to begin with? Anita can be depended on to stay calm, and can interpret interpersonal matters better than she can. It's definitely not her intention to have someone else do the heavy lifting for her, but... this time, she made clear that she wants to be corrected, if Anita feels that she needs correcting.
To keep from putting Shinji immediately on edge, she stayed outside the lounge after Anita entered, listening from just beyond the threshold for her name being mentioned. Hearing the response to just that mere mention... doesn't fill her with confidence. But... no giving up now. She's going to do this. But she won't do it her usual way. If that's how Shinji feels, then...
Nova decides that there's little point in keeping her presence hidden when Shinji's caught on to this degree and speaks up, without showing herself immediately. "...I'll leave, if that's what you want. But I hope you're willing to give me a chance to apologize, first." She at least sounds apologetic. And a lot calmer than the boisterous Nova that Shinji got to meet. She wishes there was more she could do, but... the ball can't be in her court, not this time.
<Pose Tracker> Anita Rosetta has posed.
Anita doesn't mind helping, of course. What happened is something that should be learned from, and she's in the best position to promote that since Nova's willing.
Shinji asks a question - but it isn't Anita's place to answer. She looks back toward Nova, still out of view, as she speaks up, and then back to Shinji.
"It's as she says." Anita replies. "We won't overstay our welcome. Just say the word, and we'll back off."
She offers a small smile.
"But the option's on the table, if you want it." She leaves it at that, for now. At a certain point, it's up to them.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Sure enough, as soon as Shinji asks that question, Nova emerges. She has a different vibe to her, though. She seems--not exactly sedate, but quieter. And she talks about apologizing. (If it were Asuka, she'd never apologize for anything. But it isn't Asuka.)
Shinji gives her a long look, Bud still clutched between his arms, before he glances at Anita, then away from both of them. He's not wholly sure he believes Anita when she says they'll back off if he asks, and he's not wholly sure he trusts Nova really wants to apologize, but...
"...Sure. Fine, okay," he murmurs.
He can at least give her a chance.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
That's all she needed to hear. Upon being given the okay, Nova fully steps into the lounge, slowly and deliberately, a far cry from her previous energetic and - she now realizes - overbearing self. The neutral expression she regards Shinji with is rather more Rei than Asuka. Her gaze then drifts to Anita, silently looking for affirmation. But no matter what, having gotten this far, she must at the very least deliver that apology. Whether she'll get any further than that, well, that won't be up to her.
She stops at a respectable distance from Shinji, looking at him a moment longer, before bowing deep at the waist.
"I'm sorry, for my disrespectful attitude. I unfairly treated you as if you were beholden to my whims, without regarding your personal wishes or feelings. It was genuinely not my intention to belittle you like that."
She holds the bow for a moment longer, before straightening up. Her efforts to deliver the apology in a sincere manner went well enough, but her emotions are starting to break through, most clearly visible in her eyes. Those eyes that were ablaze with indigence before... there's sadness in them now, most clearly visible in the hints of forming tears in their corners.
"I only thought about... what would have helped me, if our situations were reversed. But I didn't even know anything about your situation. Now I see that... I must have hurt you. I hope that you can believe that I never meant to do that. I was just... stupid. Can you forgive me, Shinji?"
Her eyes widen, and her hand comes up to cover her mouth. "Ah! S-Sorry, I did it again! I just, I'm used to using people's names like that, I don't mean anything by it, I swear! What should I say, Shinji-kun? Or, no, that's too close still isn't it, I should say Ikari-san, right?" She puts her head in her hands. "Ahhh, dammit, I'm messing it all up again!"
...Yeah no, this girl isn't malicious in the slightest. She's just really, really awkward.
<Pose Tracker> Anita Rosetta has posed.
Anita meets Shinji's eyes when he looks her way. And when he gives the go-ahead... Anita nods. She steps to the side to let Naoko emerge, offering her an encouraging smile and nod when she looks her way.
And with that... Anita leans back against the wall, arms folded in front of her as she listens and watches. ...It's a good apology, in her eyes. She must be speaking from the heart. It can't be easy for her.
...And then she starts doubling back over herself as she second-guesses manner of reference. Anita smiles fondly.
...She doesn't make an effort to fish her out of the water she's found herself in, though. Recovery will be up to the two of them. That's an important part of things, too.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
It's a tonal whiplash compared to the last time they met, to be sure. Shinji blinks, fully startled despite the fact that Nova just said she was here to apologize, when she bows full at the waist. It's even weirder when she eventually stands up straight and her eyes are shimmering with tears. He shoots Anita an alarmed look, but she's standing there and smiling like this is totally normal and not deeply awkward. This isn't normal, Anita!!
"U-uh, it's--" he starts to say, holding his hands palm-out--there's a little scarring around them if she looks closely--and waving them a little. "It's, um..."
'It's not that serious'? But she did seriously upset him before. 'It's fine'? But it isn't, really, and he doesn't really know what to tell her to call him. 'I'm still mad about it'--but he can't say that, not when she looks so wretched. Is he even still mad about it? He's not fine, but it's hard for him to stay upset when someone's being that sincere. He couldn't stay mad at Yuta, either...
"I'll forgive you, so please stop freaking out," he hazards.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko was really hoping that Anita would throw her a lifeline if things started to go wrong, too. Why isn't that happening, when it's obvious she can't do this on her own, that she just ruined all her chances of this possibly going over well?
...Wait, he'll forgive her, did she hear that right? That freezes her right up. Even if she's still covering her face, she at least appears to have stopped freaking out. She raises her head, and peeks out from in between her fingers. "...Really?"
Only then does she fully uncover her face, to immediately cover it with her sleeve again, wiping at her eyes. Then her face is finally left uncovered, as she lets out a deep sigh. "Thank goodness. I was so worried that I undermined everything I said before again. I meant every word, honest!"
Even if a disaster seems to have been averted, she's sure feeling the awkwardness now, rubbing the back of her neck. "...Um. So... I'm not gonna pressure you or anything, but. I can see now that you aren't here before you wanted to be, that there were, you know... circumstances. You don't have to tell me exactly what they are, I just... I'd like to know how I can keep from messing up so badly if I feel like you could use some help again."
Yes, what happened before was in fact not her trying to make Shinji's life miserable, that was her trying to help.
<Pose Tracker> Anita Rosetta has posed.
It certainly is awkward. But, these things are always a little awkward. In that way, it's perfectly normal! Anita meets Shinji's look with a tilt of the head and a look that suggests that this is fine.
He says he'll forgive her, if she stops freaking out. Nova expresses gratitude.
"I knew you could do it." Anita says confidently. She would've stepped in if she felt like things were veering in a direction that might be unrecoverable... but ultimately, that wasn't necessary. And then, Naoko inquires further into Shinji's situation. Anita considers her question, looking between her and Shinji for a moment.
"...Do we wanna take a seat? It'd probably be easier on everyone to do this sitting down." She suggests, then nods toward the vending machine. "I can grab us drinks, if anyone wants anything."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Really? she asks, and Shinji could die from the awkwardness. "I believe you," he says instead, because he does. He doesn't really get Nova still, but he at least gets that awkwardness now.
He casts his gaze to one side, still clutching his Haro to his chest. Circumstances... That's definitely a way of putting it. It's not like he dislikes being on the Ra Mari II, but--it's hard for him to say that he likes anything these days. His mood has improved since that dream he had during the fight against Goragon, but that was an improvement from 'spiraling shut-in.' ...well, it's an improvement even compared to when he first arrived--something about that dream was truly soothing--but a dream is ultimately just a dream. Especially since he can't actually remember it.
"If you feel like I could use some help, huh," he mutters. It's meant to be under his breath, but Nova or Anita might pick up on it anyway, especially if either of them can read lips. He shakes his head a little. Anita casts him an 'It's going to be fine' kind of look, but he's still not convinced. Her question gets a little shrug. At normal volume, he says, "If you two wanna sit, that's fine. There's plenty of space." The offer of drinks gets a slight head shake. "I'm fine."
A pause then. Then he sighs. "I like cooking fine, I guess. I just don't know if I'm going to be doing it the rest of my life," he says, skipping right over the implicit question about his circumstances to what the argument had been about. "I'm just sixteen."
He turns a gloomy look to the wall-mounted TV, which has returned to the news. Right now, it's covering the split of the OCU and OAC from the Federation and the specific effects that's going to have. It sounds to him like his passport is going to be useless come April. After that, then what? "I don't even know what's going to happen to me a year from now."
What's going to happen to me, he says, as opposed to what I'm going to be doing.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Anita is a lot more confident than Naoko actually is, in spite of how she may have presented herself to Shinji last time. Playing a part is easier than just being yourself, when being yourself is... whatever that was, just now. But, at least she got the apology out and accepted, that's what matters most. Now she just needs to not mess things up again.
To that end, she's paying sharper attention to Shinji's reactions and his words, this time. Turns out it's a lot easier to put the pieces of a puzzle together when it's not your own act that you keep most of your focus on. So that's it. He doesn't feel in control of his situation. That really is something she should have been able to notice, given that she feels the same way. It's just their way of dealing with it that's different.
She gives Anita a headshake when Shinji refuses the offer, not about to have a drink if he won't. And bites her tongue, stopping the knee-jerk response of wanting to give advice, to try and somehow help people who she can clearly see aren't doing well. Unsolicited help doesn't seem to actually be very helpful, in this case. But she can at least explain herself a bit more, perhaps.
"That was one of my mistakes," she admits. "I don't really... know a lot of people my age, so, I may have assumed a few things that that wouldn't be, um... normal, for most people?" That's only half of it, considering the many ways in which she's outside of the norm, but perhaps it's best to keep it simple where she can.
She glances over at the TV. "I just... try my best. Maybe my best is weird, or not good enough, or even helpful. But... I try my best. That's all anybody can do... right?" She fiddles with one of her braids. "...I can see that things are more complicated than I can probably understand, and I totally get it if you'd rather I stay out of it."
She only wishes she knew what else she could say. She cares, but... she has no idea how to express this in a way that has no risk of just being more upsetting. She can only look to Anita, in hopes that she understands that predicament and has any idea what to do about it.
<Pose Tracker> Anita Rosetta has posed.
Anita catches Shinji's mutterings. She doesn't call him on it, though - it's a fair reaction. He doesn't seem convinced, either... Well, that's fine.
He says it's fine if they sit, though, and both he and Naoko turn down drinks, so with a nod Anita moves to slide herself onto a nearby couch. And then, she listens. Shinji's concerns about his future, Naoko not knowing how to interact with people her age but trying her best... she takes them all in. Her eyes drift, briefly, to the broadcast on the TV, and then to Naoko, who seems to be unable to find the words to say.
"...I get it. It sucks, not knowing what you're going to do or what's going to happen." Anita comments, massaging the back of her neck. "I can't tell you that... but you've got time to figure things out. And we're not gonna leave you high and dry, either, however things turn out. You don't have to face it alone, okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Not just a lack of control over his situation; Shinji says he's sixteen, but if that's true, he's scrawny for his age. He looks closer to fourteen than sixteen. He might be a late bloomer, but that has to be tough in its own way.
...Of course, that's separate from whatever other issue he's got going on, but it can't help, either.
"How old are you?" he does wonder, at least--maybe his own babyface is part of why. He looks away soon after, though. "...I dunno. Maybe I'm the weird one."
In some ways, it'd be better if he were. But Shinji is aware enough of other child soldiers to know being the weird one doesn't make what's 'normal' by comparison better.
Anita chimes in, letting him know that they aren't going to abandon him either. His already gloomy expression takes on a wistful cast. "...I know. Everyone on the Ra Mari II is a really good person. It's hard to handle sometimes."
Like he doesn't deserve it.
"You're better off trying to help someone else. I just... I don't want to talk about it, all right?" Shinji finally manages to tell Nova. It's... sort of like a step forward. It's an acknowledgement that there's something he needs help on.
"...and sorry for insulting your taste in ramen before," he adds. "I don't know if I can make it the way you like, but... I'll look up a recipe and learn so I can make it for you sometime."
It's the best he can offer to someone he isn't willing to let in past his hedgehog spines.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
To the question of her age, Naoko automatically starts to say, "Sevent-" before correcting herself, "...Eighteen now, I guess. Huh." She may not have even remembered that if Shari hadn't shown up to celebrate their shared birthday. Bit weird to think of herself of an age that many consider significant. She certainly doesn't feel any more adult than she did a few days ago. Not that she really acts or looks very adult, most would estimate her younger because of that.
At least she's starting to see that everybody's a little weird in their own way. Maybe she's higher on the average, but she's starting to become more okay with that. She's not sure if it would help to start comparing weirdness, though. Right now, she's not sure what would help Shinji in general. It feels like any effort to is likely to backfire. It's vexing.
But... he does realize that it's not for no reason that the impulse to help him is there. It's still difficult to see how the ship being full of generally helpful people could be considered somehow an unhelpful thing, but... at least that much isn't being misunderstood. It was a concern, with how badly things went before. Maybe she'll manage to figure something out, with time.
The apology offer of ramen though, after all this... that takes her completely off guard. "...Oh, um. Wow, really? Well, you don't have to go out of your way for it, but if you want to... I'm not gonna say no!"
It's easy for a bright smile to appear after that, which she directs to Anita also in silent thanks for this apparent success. She can't exactly feel like everything is okay regarding Shinji, but... everything has to start somewhere.