2023-10-19: .the REA desired this unification in my blooD
- Log: .the REA desired this unification in my blooD
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Leina Ashta
- Where: Magallanica - Hospital
- Date: 2023-10-19 (ICly 0097-10-18)
- Summary: Leina finds Yuliana pinned down outside the hospital, wielding a gun and refusing to cooperate with police. She nagivates the situation with far more care, and when she sits Yuliana down, she hears about just why Yuliana's infertility upsets her so much. Her family expects her to pass on her bloodline -- and perhaps it has something to do with her ancestor, Siti Dian, and her strange pact with the alien being Cypripedioidea. Leina realises that the REA desired the power of unification, and that they settled for the apex saboteur they got; Yuliana shares everything she has, with Leina, thirsty for human connection. She doesn't even see herself as human, any more -- but Leina doesn't buy her dehumanisation so easily. Complex as the matter is, she returns Yuliana to her wife. (CW: Human experimentation)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Outside the hospital, some traffic cones and tape have been set up to ward visitors away from one particular section of the wall, with a pair of officers keeping onlookers from getting too close.
The reason why is plainly obvious: it's the woman with a gun in her hands, back to the wall, who's been there since she delivered a very pregnant woman to hospital. Yuliana has at least lowered her gun down and isn't pointing it at the police officer who's come to try to address the problem -- hospital security did call the cops -- but she's resisted any of their efforts to get close to her. Strange green frills flare out behind her ears, and black tentacles like flowers or snakes or hands hiss beside her, writhing out from her back, their green-patterned crests on full display.
"Leave me alone!" She snaps, to the negotiator's latest attempt. "Damn, this is so much trouble... you wanted me to just leave the wretched woman on the side of the road?! With those complications?! Clearly I should have!" She's not dressed for a standoff, in a long dark skirt, blouse and jacket, a gold handbag hanging loosely from one of her elbows. Her blue scarf is in disarray, about her neck. She evidently wasn't planning for her day to end like this.
The police officer talking to her isn't holding her gun, though it hasn't escaped Yuliana's notice that her partner has his hands on one, ready to draw. "We just want you to drop your weapon and answer a few questions," she repeats, again. "If you'd just come with us --"
"FUCK THAT!" Yuliana yells, lifting her gun to point it at her again. "You're with them, aren't you?! You're in on it!"
"Calm down," the officer implores her, showing her palms. "We're not here to hurt you..."
"BULLSHIT!"
The police haven't just shot her yet -- but if anything, it's only as a personal favour to Captain Orlodhari, whose message about how someone tried to abduct Yuliana only for her to help that very pregnant woman get to the hospital has been passed through to them. Apparently, Yuliana's under a lot of strain, and her paranoia is getting to her. But negotiations... aren't going well.
(The man whose car was stolen, at least, has given the police a full account. ... according to him, that woman with the gun is terrifying, and threatened to blow his brains out. He's been removed from the situation for his own safety.)
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
One of the sacrifices of being under the protection of a security detail was no longer using public transportation. One might wonder why one would miss economy flights and crowded linear trains, but when Leina sat isolated in a car, followed by two others...
... she certainly yearned for the simplicity of such reminders to keep her grounded.
And it was on the way to Magallanica's command center in such a small motorcade, that she suddenly sat up straight, looking out the window in wonder. That mixture of emotions, distress, anxiety, anticipation...
"Eight?"
She murmured, before tapping on the window separating the front seat and the back seat. She'd insisted on sitting in the front seat but had been denied. Slowly it's rolled down, "Yes Ma'am?"
"We're diverting to the hospital."
"Off the itinerary? There's a protocol for changes to-"
"A good friend of mine here just went into labor." As her voice took on a more imperious edge, "We're diverting."
And just like that, did the car suddenly make a laborious turn through the Colony streets, followed by another, as Leina busied herself with making a call.
"Hola, mi luna."
Mineva's face brightened, "Leina." She smiled at her, "I was just about to call you actually. Couldn't wait a half hour to see me?" Leina gave her an apologetic look, "I'm gonna be delayed, Audrey, I think Captain York just went into labor."
Her eyes widened in surprise at the news, which heads off any disappointment at the pass, "Oh! Oh, yes, that's understandable. Of course."
"Want to meet me at the hospital?"
"I can't quite yet - we're getting conflicting reports here of an unmarked van trying to kidnap someone off the streets? We're having our technicians review the footage, to see if we can't follow its trail. Anyhow - I know you have a security detail but-"
Leina's features subtly hardened, "I see. Alright. Keep me updated." "... I will - please give Captain York my sincerest congratulations. I'll be by as soon as we've properly assessed the threat to my people."
More alerts came in, one by one, not official ones, as Mineva was sending them...
>carjacking reported near the site
>reckless driving
It wasn't until her security detail and Leina had parked in the parking lot that Leina got another alert-
>police have responded to the hospital for
There was more to the message, but she'd stopped looking because she's heard the yelling, seen the cones, the tape. When a man from her detail had stopped her from progressing forward: "Ma'am we're going to ask you to return to the vehicle, until the scene is safe for entry."
"Alright-" Leina' turned and is already tapping a text to Lavhi, asking: >are u and 8 safe?
When 'FUCK THAT!' is yelled out and she freezes, "Hold on a second." And suddenly her course changes into a fast walk towards the hospital, "Ma'am!? Miss Ashta! Stop!" But she's already broken into a run, and, with her detail fast chasing behind her. They're not quite in 'tackle' their charge mode, but it's getting close.
When Leina ducks under the tape, an officer says "Miss! Stay back! STAY BACK!" He warns, "You can't be here-!" His anxiety is only amped up by the four armed men running in behind her.
"Just hold on-! Look- I know her!" Leina tells them bluntly, "She doesn't trust cops alright? She used to be one!" Walking closer to Yuliana, her bodyguards lurch, but stop, perhaps understanding that any action could turn this situation into utter madness. Whereas the cops keep calling, "MISS!"
"Yuliana it's alright. Just give me the gun. I'll handle it, okay?"
She holds out a hand. This close, that feeling returns, but she tries to ignore the creeping anxiety of that for the very REAL anxiety of the moment.
"It's all a misunderstanding right? So - let's talk. Not in custody."
The cops of course probably don't agree with that notion, but then again they don't understand who she is either, "Let's all just talk without the need for guns!" She looks behind her, as if to try to shame them away from reaching for their guns in the intensity of the moment.
"Like civilized PEOPLE!"
The cops and her security are of course still waiting for the other shoe to drop and this to turn into a hostage situation, but for now they wait to see what Yuliana will do.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
More people charge in -- backup, surely -- but Yuliana's busy staring down the man with his hand on his gun, lips curled over one too many teeth. Her breath drags through and past the fang, made tattered by the journey.
Until --
"... Leyasha?" Yuliana is honestly surprised to hear her -- to see her; she hadn't noticed that hollow of what-should-be approaching, wrapped up in the situation as she is. But she is skilled enough to see the woman she's negotiating with shifting as if to close in and tackle her, and she swings her gun around to point at her, again. "STAY BACK!"
She's not aiming her gun at Leina, strangely. Nor is she even particularly occupied with looking at her. She switches to Spanish, to insist: "The police are with the REA! And are here to seize me!" She wasn't just boasting, when she claimed OCU English was her fourth language; she learned Spanish much later, but even under these tense conditions, she still makes sense.
It's hardly a foolproof method of communication -- any of these people might also be bilingual -- but clearly she's concerned enough to try and keep them out of the loop.
But... Leina's yelling at them, Yuliana can see that. She hesitates, for a moment... before she flicks the safety of her gun back on, and spins it about to hand to the younger woman. Her fingers tremble, releasing the weapon. "... all... all right, Leina," she says, in English, again. "We can talk... I trust you. But not them. Not them. I won't go with them!"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Despite Yuliana's gestures with the gun, she isn't pointing it at her, even as Leina puts her free hand on her hip and replies in Spanish, "They're doing a very poor job of it if so. Princess Mineva is very much aware of the situation. Unmarked van right? A car jacking? Reckless driving? And now this-!"
The hand originally reaching for the gun makes a sweeping gesture, "Come on, even if they are with the REA, you think they can make off with you without anyone noticing? Especially with me here now? They seriously botched it."
And indeed, as Yuliana flicks the safety on and hands it over, Leina stuffs it away in the pocket of her jeans. "Miss! Drop it! Drop-" Leina interrupts him, "I'm reaching for my credentials. Not a gun. It'd be super STUPID for me to put one away just to reach for another one right?"
"Uh-" He doesn't quite agree, but he doesn't have an argument against it? Leina slowly reaches into a pocket and takes out her badge, and- "My Cathedra badge. And - diplomatic credentials." The rest of the bodyguards do the same.
One of the cops asks, "Don't see how that's relevant? Cathedra doesn't have jurisdiction here-" Leina rolls her eyes as she interrupts, "I'm just saying I'm a cop too - the diplomatic credentials are the important ones. The name's Leina Ashta? Even if it doesn't sound familiar - I'm part of the reason you have jobs."
And indeed, as she approaches them to hand them over, they look at it coming to the daunting realization that it's someone dating their boss' boss' boss, "Miss we still have to do our jobs-" "Then do it? Like- you don't have to detain her to get her story. Yuliana?" She asks, this time in English, "What's going on here?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"That was not all of me!" Yuliana insists, in slightly stilted Spanish, when Leina lists off all the crimes that were just committed.
Being fair, she committed MOST of them.
"... I'm trusting you," she grumbles, again, and leaves the rest of the sentence implied: she'd better not let her down. If she's going to hand over the best way she has to defend herself, Leina had better defend her.
Yuliana scowls, as the police proceed to yell at Leina. Well -- hopefully they don't ask for her papers, because they certainly won't match the name Leina's calling her.
"What do you think?" She says, back still pressed to the wall. "I just came out here to visit someone -- I didn't bring a machine, I'm not here to ruin this taped-up backwater -- but the Republic must have been waiting for me to make such a stupid trip, because they tried to drag me off the street! Well, for some reason Orlodhari got involved, her and her husband, so they backed off..."
Yuliana scowls, fingers tensing as her hand balls to a nervous fist. "But... the shock must have affected her. I don't know! I didn't do anything," she adds, acrid, to head off any ideas of foul play. "But she was sent into quite pressing labour, and of course the idiots didn't bring a car, so what was I to do but retrieve one? I wasn't about to owe those people anything! And it's not as if I had time to explain her whole wretched story, so I just took a wheelchair for them. Security took umbrage with my insistence, and I've had nothing but troubles ever since with all these plants showing up!" She gestures, roughly, to the police gathered here.
"Honestly -- I should never have bothered -- why would I even go on a trip like this? It was stupid! I should have just-- just stayed home!" Her voice quakes with her upset, as she slams her fist back into the wall, with a notable THUD. It's not a gesture of violence directed at anyone, but... it's entirely clear that she's visualising slamming their heads into the wall, isn't it?
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina doesn't answer Yuliana at first, as she's trying her hardest not to amp her up further, only nodding while making eye contact at the moment she says she's trusting her.
When she begins the story, she's glad that she's here to decipher it as she feels like otherwise, her telling would have made things far far worse.
Her mental health makes her so very bad at this, despite having been a cop. Yet, Leina just listens, surprise flecking her eyes as 'Orlodhari' is invoked.
The self-centered nature of her telling surprises even her, who knows her, yet there's this quiet pinch of her nose, with closed eyes, then bracing herself as her telling of it continues to get worse and worse.
As she slams her fist back into the wall with a thud, her eyes jerk to both of them...
"I know there's an APB out on an unmarked van." Leina says calmly to the officer, "She's a witness - and all shaken up by what happened. She has a bad history of the REA treating her like a lab specimen - and they want her back."
Calm. Calm. Calm. She has to remain a calming influence here if Yuliana herself can't be.
"Take the time to corroborate her story with Lavnadhim Orlodhari - he should be upstairs in Labor and Delivery, I'll take responsibility. If after the investigation you're convinced that you need to take action against her - then we'll go from there. But this Colony was founded under the ideals of being a safe haven for people who were victims of the Federation."
She says softly, "I think we can give her some grace in this instance? I'm sympathetic to your position of what you came upon here - but if she's right? Then you're losing your chance right now at catching an REA black ops cell before they do who knows what?"
The officers pause, and grimace, "Alright, we'll investigate this." Before they dart a look at Yuliana, "Don't go anywhere. We're putting you on the no fly list until we have a clear picture of what happened."
And indeed the officer holds out a hand to Leina, "Gun." Leina rolls her eyes, but takes the gun out of her pocket, and places it in their hand. They look at Yuliana, "You'll get this back after we corroborate your story. And we're searching you first. Pat her down-"
"Christ. 'Pat her down'? Look, she'll be with me and my security detail. Nothing's going to happen? Do you REALLY want to get close to her right now?"
The officers pause as they remember the fist thudding into the wall. "Alright, fine." One officer splits off to ask Yuliana a few more questions. Another heads up to L&D.
And Leina's detail - "Miss Ashta that was exceptionally reckless, and goes against our agreement-" "Am I a member of Cathedra or not?" "You're in... a special position, which you should be mindful of."
They hedge.
She crosses her arms, "Don't treat me like I'm some Spoiled Princess, Goddamnit!" She warns, "I get the necessity of your presence - but I'm a member of this agency too - I fly combat missions! If I exercise my discretion to get in the middle of something like this - your job is to protect me."
She glowers at him, pointing at herself for emphasis, "But NOT from myself. Never from myself. I get to make my own decisions - and live my life. The moment that changes - is the moment our arrangement ends."
The man at the head of her security detail stares at her for a moment, then sighs, "You're making our jobs very difficult, Miss Ashta."
Her eyes remain upon him, as she replies without missing a beat, "Then rise to the challenge."
She waits then - for the singular cop to finish asking clarifying questions of Yuliana...
... so she can talk to her, perhaps even chew her out herself. She hasn't decided yet!
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana isn't telling this story well, and it's a glaring clue to Leina how badly she's doing; she's been on the other end of enough interrogations to know how to game them, which means that this must be...
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screeches, pressing herself back against the wall, when the cops talk about patting her down.
... she's vulnerable.
And remarkably uncooperative, as soon as someone who isn't Leina starts talking to her. "I told you what happened," she snaps, to the officer. "It's more than you deserve." Only when they press on the details of how the abduction went does she, however reluctantly, clarify: "There's no point bagging me, I don't need to see you to kill you. They would have had to drug me -- fast-acting sedatives, hypnotics, something like that -- I don't know, I think they dropped the syringe, go pick it up if someone hasn't already." They're details which Lavnadim can corroborate; he would have gotten someone to take care of the fallen syringe himself, were he not immediately distracted. "As if you don't already know this," she adds, with a snarl. "I know how you people fucking operate, you don't think I wasn't the best? First you interrupt my meetings, then you post all those awful rumours online, you have men following me, I've seen you taking pictures..."
Another officer asides, to Leina: "... is this woman of yours on drugs? 'Paranoid' is an understatement. It would explain her utterly reckless driving..."
"Fuck you, I heard that!" Yuliana's gaze snaps up, to yell. "Don't you call my piloting reckless! Did I crash?! Did I?! No! It's just taking advantage of the whole road! Damn woman's having multiple children, you expect me to deliver that on the side of the road?! Because I have news for you, they do NOT cover birth complications in first aid --"
Well, that's going well.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's listening in certainly, letting the Colonial cops do their thing, but the moment that they ask if she's on drugs, Leina narrows her eyes subtly.
"Okay. Okay stop. Just stop. 'Is she on drugs?' Yeah she's on a prescription regimen because after you spend that many years in a lab being tortured you need to be on one to even function."
She eyes the officer, "Show some actual empathy. If you'd had that kind of life, got free of them, and then those people that tortured you tried to just - I don't know, snatch you off the street in some unmarked van..."
She makes meaningful eye contact, "Wouldn't you be paranoid? God." She waves them off, "Just - just go corroborate what you have with Lavnadim. I was trying to be understanding before of your position - but it's clear you're not actually interested in deescalation here."
There's certainly some tense feelings in the moment from the officers, at the condescension. And indeed Leina is being condescending - but she's just so done with that kind of attitude from cops.
"Alright. Yuliana. Let's go sit down on a bench. Take a breather for a bit - alright? Nothing's going to happen, my security detail isn't part of the REA, and they're not gonna let anything happen to you."
She waits to make sure she'll agree, before she sighs, raking a hand through her hair, "God - I just came here to you know, support the new parents and coo at the newborns."
She's definitely exasperated that it turned out this way but she's not chewing her out or something- after all, she's definitely in such a paranoid phase that she needs to wait for her to come down.
"Thanks for getting them here safely."
Safely may be a stretch, but if they're upstairs uninjured? She'll take it.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
The officer's lips twist a little; it's clear she'd love to make a comment about how the crazy woman waving a gun around and disturbing all the civilians who only just started coming here to try and rebuild isn't the victim, in her eyes. She swallows it down, though, because this is Leina Ashta, and if it goes up the chain...
... well, she likes having a job.
"Sorry," she says, instead, no matter the feelings she has about being spoken to this way. "I'll... leave her to you for now. Just don't let her leave until we figure this out."
"I won't be a prisoner," Yuliana snaps at her, but -- perhaps wisely -- she doesn't engage.
Instead, Yuliana is left to listen to Leina. Her fingertips shake, as she grasps her opposite arm. "Nothing will happen..." She repeats, slowly, before she nods, finally taking a moment to grasp the strap of her handbag and seat it on her shoulder again. "A--all right." With some effort, she folds her frills behind her ears, grasps her jacket to tuck her snakes back away in their pockets inside again.
As if appearing human meant anything now she's revealed herself.
Yuliana goes to the bench, and sits; she looks away from Leina, shoulders sinking. "I've caused trouble for you," she says, with regret, close to an apology. "I... I didn't mean for that to happen. I just can't do anything good..."
Her hands clasp, together, on her lap. "I did try, you know," she says, bitterly. "I won't sit here and claim I don't hate Orlodhari," though not enough not to use her new proper name, since apparently Yuliana has some standards, "but -- but you know, even if it's not fair, there's no universe where it's fair she can do this and I can't -- her children have done nothing. And if she hadn't got involved, that might not have... it's just a situation where I had to see to it. I had to take care of it... but this is what I can do, Leyasha. I should know by now, there's no way this world can accept me..." ... whether they would have accepted her with open arms if she'd just asked instead of threatened is something that apparently goes right over her head.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina can SENSE that resentment - it's radiating off of her, and she just stares at her for many long moments.
The chances of them losing their job here were never high unless they did something... totally off the wall, but it prompts her to consider making some recommendations about the future of Law Enforcement on this Colony.
"Don't worry, she's not going anywhere."
She doesn't respond to what Yuli says about being a prisoner, and instead leads her over to the bench. And once Yuliana sits, Leina remains standing for a moment longer before, eventually sinking down beside her.
"It's okay - I'm not happy certainly - but it's more about how the REA came here to try to snatch you off the street."
This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen, but she understands - pragmatically, they can never fully eliminate the chances that it will.
Just like people will never eliminate war.
"You got Eight here. Okay?" She sighs lightly, "That's a good thing, even if you didn't handle that... the best."
Understatement of the year, perhaps, but Leina rubs her forehead, as she hears the news being delivered. And she stills, understanding flecking her her eyes.
"There's a whole lot of injustice in the world. You not being able to bear children because of what was done to you? That's definitely one of them."
Leina shakes her head, "It's - you know there were a lot of concerns starting off that she wouldn't be able to at all?" She tells her truthfully, "Maybe you'll think that's unfair too - that she went through labs like that, and somehow, managed... while you can't."
And she looks away from her, "I was... worried myself. We did some fertility testing once I got out and - it looks like I'm fine..."
She doesn't even know that Murasame acted specifically to preserve her fertility. She has no idea, because she took the recommendation not to read the files.
"... I guess that's not fair either that I still have the option too but..."
A hand reaches out, as she rests it upon her arm, "... Yuliana, I get it's not the same to you - but - there are always options. I know how badly you want kids? Like - would you ever consider adoption?"
It's a hard thing to encourage, given the kind of household Yuliana lives in, a real struggle to recommend it, because of that - because of what she's realizing her relationship with Elisa is like...
... but...
"You know there's so many kids out there who've been hurt by the world too - who had things taken from them. If you really want to be a mother - there are always people who you can channel those feelings towards making their lives better."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"It's what I could do," Yuliana grumbles, again, when Leina advances that she didn't handle her delivery of Eight as well as she could have.
She scowls, listening to what Leina has to say (muttering, "good for you," and unable to keep all the bitterness from her response to Leina's body still working right), but what she doesn't expect is Leina's fingers, on her arm. She jumps, head jerking up -- but before Leina can think she's erred and rethink her decision, Yuliana reaches over and grasps her hand with her own.
Would she ever consider it...? Her head hangs, as she listens.
"It's just, ayah -- ah, my father -- always he said, Yuliana, you must carry the line on." There's an edge of shame to her voice, as she talks about her family's expectations. "Even he... he wasn't sure he wanted to have children at all, you know? In the '60s, all the unrest... but his father insisted, just the same. We must pass the name down. Well, even though I'm a woman... and my mother, she always insisted I have children the right way. After the Republic threw her under the bus with all that PMO business, she began supporting the NIA instead of Partiya Zaftra... mm, I wasn't able to agree with her on that, but I wanted to make her happy. There were some things she could bring herself to accept, given my, alternative lifestyle, but..." There's a difference between letting two women conceive a child together and the real issues, apparently.
She squeezes Leina's hand, though she can't quite bring herself to look at her. "My Elisa... ran some tests, after it didn't work again... she said my body's too stressed, even now we've cut my medications down. It can't support a child... but, but even if I could relax, Leyasha! Even if I got over myself, I -- I'm too different, my body's changed, it's been changed too much, it can't... I can't. I can't, so..."
Yuliana swallows. "I don't know. I was thinking about it. And just like my Elisa says, I've got my Callers to think about, too... they need help. You know, we're helping people... we even helped some people escape from a facility, recently. So... so maybe it would be fine, if I took someone in, but... Leyasha, my family, they'll be upset." Her voice wavers, as she chastises herself: "I was irresponsible... I should have had children, first..."
... she enlisted as soon as she turned 18, though, so it's a mystery when she was supposed to have children between then and all the torture.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Indeed Leina's security perhaps get a bit jumpy when Yuliana startles her with grasping her hand, but she grasps back, and just listens - perhaps understanding the bitterness at the root of this.
Instead she listens, to the weight of family expectations, to carrying down the family line. For a time she doesn't speak, even if frustration, anger at the idea passes through her.
'Having children the right way.'
Still she doesn't say anything for a time, and just listens to her speak of the tests, of her change in body image - how all of it amounts to the fact she can't have children.
How they're helping people - but her family would be upset if she adopted. And...
"Hey." Leina says softly, "Your parents' expectations? They're not exactly reasonable. Sometimes - this happens even for reasons outside of experimentation. What if you'd never gone into the military, and you'd still been unable to have children. Women have been dealing with that kind of thing since humanity's been in existence. It's not some - failing, for their bodies to just end up like that?"
She relates quietly, before more adamantly, "They're not defective because of it, and neither are you. And even in many Eastern countries - adoption is considered to be a splendid exception for how to carry on the family name, isn't it?"
She tries her best to smile at her, "There are husbands that take on their wife's name for that reason, right?" As she points out the obvious patriarchal 'exception' to the rule. "In traditional families that - insist a male heir run the family business or the like."
It's just a light press in that way, but - "Mom - Sayla, she never had kids, but she wants to adopt me? Would you think she's disappointing her parents?" And then she asks Yuliana plainly, softly, with those seagreen eyes searching hers, "Am I a disappointment? Is she?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana sighs, still clutching Leina's hand -- more as a lifeline than a hostage situation -- as she talks about how it's not some failing that she's like this. It really feels like it is. Like she's failed them, just by... just by...
It's hardly the only unfortunate belief her family have passed down to her.
But when Leina presses her, finally Yuliana looks her in the eyes, her own heavy with grief and lingering fear. "No, no, you are no -- oh, Leyasha," she breaks her sentence to ask, with despair, "have I been cruel to you? Don't think that way, I didn't mean to... it is good you're still whole, it is good you've that family. You are not a disappointment. You've not disappointed me. I am proud of you, don't you know? Really, I..."
She blinks, a shade too rapidly, and takes a halting breath. "It isn't -- cultural," she insists. "Many of my friends were adopted, growing up... and nothing different to them. It is just... a demand our family has always known. It's just some duty we had, I don't know..." ... but, doesn't she?
Yuliana frowns, her gaze darting aside. "Mm... actually, I... I wonder. If it has something to do with, what you said..." Her fingers twitch, and her brow arches, looking back to Leina. "... Leyasha, that woman you mentioned, that Dian... can you tell me about her? Because, I feel like... those demands, that history... they must be related. It can't be a coincidence..."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Has Yuliana been cruel to her? ... What a question. Leina's mind still goes to the karaoke place in Fujinomiya, in consideration of that moment.
Her eyes close, and she takes a deep breath, listening to Yuliana speak of her praise, of how she's not disappointed her, of how she's proud of her.
It's a struggle, it's difficult to reconcile. There's a long exhalation, and ultimately she doesn't respond to it with words.
Even now, it's not the most pleasant experience being close to her. It is the hedgehog's dilemma made manifest for Newtypes.
Instead she looks at her, eyes open, listening to her speak of how it's not cultural. And- she's about to comment in her own way how that makes it worse of her parents but...
... Yuliana brings up a point, and Leina blinks her eyes as if in understanding of why that might be. "It's..."
Looking away, she wars against the strange psychic silence, tinnitus, considering it, considering the information against Yuliana's situation. And...
"Back when we were fighting Full Frontal - our Psychoframes resonated, and he drew us in on a - vision quest I suppose, which was meant to present his argument, that all action towards a better future was... meaningless."
It's still difficult not to feel like there's something to it, even now, perhaps especially now in the radius of this feeling from Yuliana, unable to ground herself in the miracle of other people.
"We were sent through the past - and we saw things, from prior wars. And people - one of them was Siti Dian, it was - long before the Universal Century, in an era of drone warfare."
She tells her quietly, "It'd been three years of war, her village was gone - people were massacred, when she was approached by a... being."
Her eyes shift up, "Who looked human - but also not, alien in a way perhaps. She offered her power in her - desperation. I don't know what kind of power save that it was a power to 'unite' perhaps."
A hesitant, tentative breath, "She wouldn't be swayed from her course - her resolve was so great in the face of so much loss, grief, and death - I don't know how it ended, simply that - a bargain was struck, of sorts."
All she can say to the idea of it being related, "Maybe. Maybe it's related. I can't say for sure, but I do think it's why the REA... picked you, for this program."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
It's not pleasant for Yuliana, sitting here beside such a strong Newtype, either. But... she can make an exception for Leina, can't she? Doesn't she want to help her, despite her wretched condition?
... she doesn't want her to go.
Perhaps that's why she's still holding her hand, though she lowers the both of theirs down, to the bench between them, rather than holding it against her arm. She frowns, as Leina tells her of some -- some Newtype nonsense, visions of the past, as if she were some --
Well, some kind of Oracle.
Maybe... it's not... so different, to receiving visions from another reality. Visions delineated by time, instead of by...
(oh, don't ask her to make sense of it. Her head will break.)
Her fingers twitch, and clasp a little tighter. "A being..." She echoes, frowning. "And he used this to argue there was no better future for the world? Tch. Still..." Yuliana looks at Leina -- past Leina, a little to the left and in through the tattered edges of what should be, gaze unfocused. "... a unifying force... yes, the Void is the great equaliser. Is that why I reached to grasp peace in my hands...?"
She blinks -- looks back to Leina, a shade surprised, as if she'd forgotten she was there for a moment. "Ah -- this being -- Leyasha, what was her name?" A moment's pause, and she emphasises: "It's important. Because, if she chose us... if I was chosen..."
Yuliana frowns, deeply troubled. "... Leyasha, they injected cells, into me. Into my spine, into my brain... they called them Orchid Cells, I think. And -- and not just me. Jeong... and Vinogradov and Begam and Zhao, too. But they all died. Dr. Chen -- this Newtype they had working for them -- she took them, and... they burned the bodies in the basement. I was the last one. I..." Her voice cracks; her eyes squeeze shut. "I cried out to her, but, but I couldn't say anything, the drugs... but she said it was okay, I'd be okay, and then... and then they said phase one was, initialised successfully, and they were, initiating phase two. They-- they stuck a needle in me, and-- and it burned, and, it burned me up. It burned me up, and I couldn't hear her any more, and there wasn't anything there, nothing, nothing there, but I know there was something there, but there wasn't anything, nothing!"
Whatever she's seeing, it quakes at her, for long moments. Her shoulders stiffen, and curl inwards; damp tracks clamber, finally, down her cheeks. Her grasp on Leina's hand may even be painful, for a moment, before Yuliana realises her strength and loosens her grip. "I didn't mean to," she asides, again, and pitifully.
"B--but what I mean is," she sniffs, trying to master herself again, "they must have, gotten those cells from somewhere. They had to mature the cells in my body, before they could use me to, harvest them... s-so it couldn't have been me. Whoever that was... whoever it was, they must have..."
Taken her? Dissected her? Or perhaps she's still alive, somewhere, in some REA blacklab.
And the black flower which Yuliana planted, in Ambon --
It resembles the Lady's Slipper.
Cypripedioidea.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"I - his point I suppose was that even though she made this sacrifice..." Leina makes a gesture as in to say 'Look at the REA now.' "... he was Bhakarov's creature, someone of pure ruthless pragmatism, cold analytical logic. I suppose - to someone like that - where their humanity was whittled down by their glimpse of the Aura of the Dawn..."
Her eyes slide upwards... "The idea of 'hope' is only a tease, or perhaps worse - a poison, holding us all back."
She understands him perhaps better than she'd want to, in any world. She understands, someone who was cursed by the Universal Century's past.
Still, she'd heard Yuliana's moment of being scattered - focused on something distant, when she asks for her name - the idea of 'unification' from the Void still heavy in her mind.
In these moments, heavier still is the image of those hurt by Elisa's power.
The eventual extremism that such ideas of unification feel destined to lead to. That they've already led to. Leina sucks in a breath, and considers. It's not an easy decision.
But she knows far too little, and she can't just 'Newtype' herself on command to envision the outcome - to peel back the secrets of the past.
"It's hard to pronounce I - hold on - I'm trying to think of it. It's not a different language it's more - it feels like a scientific taxonomy?"
Leina struggles for many long moments, certainly she was present but it's, still difficult, "Cypri- Cypripedioidea? Yeah... Cypripedioidea." She repeats, more sure of herself now, "She mentioned a cousin - too, and how thanks to that cousin, they'll obey."
It's hard not to see her as someone vulnerable being taken advantage of by honeyed words, by deals with the devil. Certainly so many stories feel that way.
When Yuliana cracks, telling her about it, she draws her into a hug, which causes Leina's detail to just, look closely, nervously because you know...
SNAKES! IN! HER! BACK!
"I... remember. The Renascence Orchid Project." Leina says quietly, as she rubs Yuliana's back, "I'm sorry, that's horrible, knowing that they just..."
There's a shake of her head, as she processes the idea of 'hearing' and it suddenly being taken away. Leina's not certain how she would cope. It'd be like a part of her just being cut off to be replaced by the torture of connection with an extradimensional being.
Still she listens, and- "I'm... not sure, in your profile they put 'Unknown Alien Stock' for the cells but some notes lead to this, idea they were trying to duplicate a past phenomenon."
They called her a failure, is the failure because she couldn't...
... Oh God...
Was the REA actually trying to have a counter to Newtypes?
...Or were they trying to bring all of humanity under their collective control?
"They made it sound like you weren't... quite, what they were hoping for, but there weren't many notes on what outcome they were hoping for... and if it was linked to what I saw?"
A small shake of her head, what did- what did Full Frontal's vision make her stumble into?
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana frowns. "Wretched man," she condemns Full Frontal, bitterly. "Ancient men viewed hope as an evil force because they were too limited to comprehend its potential. What Pandora trapped could not be so." That the thing she trapped in her jar may well have been better translated as false hope goes above Yuliana's head; she's only heard the pop-culture version of the myth.
Other myths come from... other places.
"Cypri...pedioidea..." She recognises the name, certainly, though she's slow to say it.
Yuliana sags, sinking into Leina's embrace, wrapping her arms about her back. (The snakes coiled in her jacket remain so; she prefers to hide them, when she doesn't have to reveal herself. Prefers to be seen as human, though she isn't, any more.) It's easy enough to rub Yuliana's back, as well -- those snakes are connected to her spine at her lower back, perhaps because her shoulders are in the way, further up.
"Duplicate it...?" She asks, into Leina's shoulder. "Dr. Devi said... I was a failure, but she got -- some result, with me. Some people wanted to, t-to kill me and start over with a new batch, but she c-called me in, since, I was still alive. She said they were trying to, achieve a legend, but m-making an empathic black hole wasn't what they wanted to do -- she wasn't even sure if she should call me a Cyber-Newtype." Sniff. "She said I'd hate the comparison... I, I pleaded for my life, Leyasha. I didn't want to die... so she let me be this new thing, for them. She once told me, I c-came out wrong, so she'd use me to sow division instead... since I was f-faulty, I should be good at that, she said."
She makes a discontent noise, and adds: "You must think I'm disgusting..." She is, as ever, projecting.
If she was thinking straight, even she would know it wasn't Leina who thought that about her.
"But... that's not the first time I've, heard the name," Yuliana says. "Not... not from Dr. Devi. She never told me anything. I... heard it in audience, Leyasha. With Her. After... the first time I took Emptear out, I think. She was angry... She was so angry. I woke, and at once I fainted again..."
She turns her head, burying it against Leina's shoulder. A little muffled, "... let me... remember."
Though her heart sinks, and her blood cools.
She is silent, for some moments, before she speaks up quietly. "Begin again," Yuliana recites, as her tone grows far away. "Begin again. All matter lost. Where is the interloper? The interloper is mine. Transgress grasp the enemy's tools. Yet they're borrowed! Insufficient! Softer, yet softer, the sacrifice isn't. Was not! Five point one, repeating. Litany of failure! Create the way. Blood is the way. Blood paved the path. Cypripedioidea's invitation..."
Her fingers flex, and relax. Her shoulders relax, from where they'd tensed, too. "... that's all... I received from Her, then. I think... I must hear more, it fills me to bursting, but it doesn't come out. It's hard to know, Leyasha... She is not a woman the way you or I are. I am still an imperfect vessel." Distantly, she adds: "One day, it won't hurt."
Right now...
"I know not the meaning of Her anger," Yuliana says, a shade helplessly. "Forgive me. I would tell you, if I could. My Elisa said... she said, we were being too easy on this world. That Her anger meant we were too kind... we had to do more, be more drastic. She said I was the legend... that we didn't come to Her by coincidence." Yuliana sighs, new grief weighing at her. "And I promised to apply myself to Emptear, but after that, I refused to practice my routine... no wonder my darling wife was so upset. Not even we can weather Her dissatisfaction so easily..."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"... He's - he's gone now. He was, different than most. Those with empty hearts would see it as a means of control for the masses."
It's difficult to talk about him, even now, this far into her recovery, he's too close to how she felt...
"Perhaps it was because he played the role of someone inhuman too well."
Leina offers quietly, as if he was an actor. "That he believed we could only change without it holding us back..."
Wretched. Yes.
As Yuliana repeats the name, she examines her closely, even as her weight sags against her. As she speaks, talking about what Dr. Devi said, to sow division...? Leina's lip curls momentarily at the thought of that horrible woman.
"Yeah." Leina says softly, "I wonder if she was looking to create a second Siti Dian and - didn't like the result - but Siti Dian had help?" She stumbles through it, "It's not like - not like you're the problem. It's just, they didn't know what they were doing. Like, do you think that whoever this Cypripedioidea was that she injected cells within Siti in some lab?"
That was certainly not the vibe of the vision, "They were playing with something they didn't understand. And-"
Leina looks Yuliana in the eyes, "You were trying to serve your country, so you didn't know what kind of deal you were making. They held that back from you. Perhaps... what they were missing was, what she felt from years of tragedy? The emotions of that moment - that caused her to feel like she needed that power."
It's speculative, but the feeling is simply that, trying to just replicate the conditions of that moment in a lab would perhaps, always fail.
There's a missing element, in Leina's eyes.
"Or perhaps it was that without this 'Cypripedioidea - they were always missing an element."
As Yuliana says 'you must think I'm disgusting...' Leina responds firmly, "No. I don't at all. Even when I'm upset with you - I've never thought you were disgusting."
Then more softly, quietly, "How could I?" Who else would she condemn as disgusting? Her own sister?
Still Yuliana keeps talking about how it's not the first time she heard the name, and as Yuliana buries her head against her shoulder, a hand moves and down her back in even, stroking motions.
It grows more still as she hears her tone, "I see..." It's - is 'She' the cousin? Or is it something else. "... I'm sorry, I don't know what it means. The vision ended before I could - could catch more of her life, what happened next."
Leina inhales and... "It began as a choice, however, for her and - if they withheld this much... then it was no choice at all. It rather spits upon her resolve, doesn't it?"
To hear her call herself imperfect? That hurts too, but it also makes her blood run cold, "Hey-" Leina says quietly, "Don't talk about yourself like that, okay? That's like the same kind of talk about the people who made you think you're disgusting."
Soft, stroking motions upon your back, "Self-improvement is always okay, but you've gotta think about yourself more positively. I know it's hard right now, after receiving the news about your fertility tests but- come on."
She keeps going, as hard as it is, "You're not broken - or disgusting - or some 'imperfect vessel', you're Yuliana Kafim. People out there care for you. And if you want to be a mother - there are options."
She says softly, "Kindness isn't a weakness. You shouldn't define yourself by - how she thinks you should feel either. You're you. You want things that don't have anything to do with what she wants for you."
There is a soft sense of conclusion in the words, "Be kind to yourself. You need to be, because - I don't think that 'Her' kindness is - something that feels compatible with being human?" And she says quietly, "And you are human, Yuliana."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Playing at it..." But Yuliana doesn't dwell on Full Frontal's crimes, for now.
Yuliana frowns, as Leina stumbles through her logic. "They grasped, blindly, and knew not what they held," she condemns the REA. "I... it is more than possible, Leyasha, that they wanted me to be a force for 'Unity'. Unified beneath the Republic... if my ancestor had those powers, in antiquity, surely they would wish to claim them again."
Her gaze veils, as Leina insists that she doesn't think she's disgusting. "I'm glad... you'd think so." But she speaks slowly, not entirely convinced.
She feels wretched.
But hearing Leina talk about the choice Siti made, she shakes her head. "There -- there were consent forms -- releases -- I thought I knew what I was getting into, too, Leyasha. That I'd chosen this for myself... they must have wanted me to feel that way. We all did... we talked of how we volunteered... they must have been trying to recreate it. But the way they acted! It's wretched!" Yuliana looks to Leina, tears in her eyes. "There was no strange woman, there with us... not until I was opened to Her. Even then... She is here, but here is not here..."
Yuliana sniffs, hearing Leina tell her to speak better about herself. "Haa... oh, Elya would say the same thing..." But even if Elisa shares her opinion, on this, does that make Leina wrong? It at least means it's more likely Yuliana listens to her, all soothed by those stroking motions.
"I want... I wanted those things, but... oh!..." Tears well in her eyes again, and her shoulders shake. "... oh, Leyasha... I'm not. I'm not! I haven't been human for a long time... She's changed me. I'm... more perfect, now, but... oh, Leyasha, I'm so cold." And she is, measurably, chillier than the last time Leina had occasion to touch her -- or, more easily, chillier than most of the people she's laid hands on lately. She isn't yet cold, but... "My Elisa says -- I still have time for what I want -- but I feel a great pressure on my shoulders. She demands. And -- and even when I want things, I just mess it up, I... you know, I couldn't even save you? I just said those awful things, when you couldn't even help it, and then I left, I wasn't able to... even when I came back to save you, it was a miserable failure! And look -- look at this!" She straightens up, teary-eyed, to gesture roughly back towards the hospital. "Even--even when I'm trying to g-get a pregnant woman to hospital I-- everything I do is bad! This is where doing things for myself gets me!"
Her voice hitches, and she bites at her lip, a little bead of red where her fang catches at her flesh. "I just wanted to see Jona, Leyasha... after we saved him, I didn't know how he was, or, or anything... it was so stupid. It was so stupid," she repeats, again, and she really means she was.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"It feels... like it was their intent." Leina agrees, quietly, unsettled - perhaps by the idea of what they were seeking.
Gods what would the world look like had they succeeded? Indeed - what happened in the prior attempt with Siti Dian?
Why was it significant enough for Full Frontal to take them there?
Leina perhaps catches that Yuliana doesn't quite believe it, but she understands at least that this might be an insecurity that's impossible to convince her upon easily.
So instead she holds her in the moment, to let her know she's there. Even if one cannot convince them of something so basic, so fundamental when their own body image has been ravaged by years of abuse - one can at least tell them they're not leaving them no matter what they think about themselves.
"I... don't believe that consent is actually 'consent' unless it's informed, Yuliana. Mom's a pediatrician so - that's how she always taught me. If a doctor tricks me into doing a procedure because they withheld information..."
Leina continues haltingly, quietly, "... because they're not acting in my best interests as their patient? Then - it's not consent at all. Your enthusiasm was... manufactured, by them."
Still, at least she can accept that she ought to think better of herself, and then as she says she hasn't been human for a long time... Leina does listen to her and...
... she does indeed feel colder...
... but...
"Bullshit." Calls her on it, gently, but firmly, "What's more human than a desire to have children, to pass something on to them, to want desperately to carry on the family traditions?"
Her arms tighten subtly around her, "What's more human than to mess up on occasion? To make mistakes? To live on each and every day, but we can strive towards change... to be human is to desire to be better, no matter how difficult it is."
Quieter, quieter... it's something she keeps talking to her about, "Even when we lose something - we're still human. Even when we change - we're still human. Even pretending to cast it all away - there's something so fundamentally human about the act."
She loosens her arms subtly, but smiles, "Then go see him. It won't be long until they clear you - right?" Leina asks, but she's fairly sure she knows the answer at this point, "It's going to be okay. You'll get to see him - and I'll get to go see the new Mom and her babies. And we'll go from there... one step at a time."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
It's awful, really. Yuliana's all but bathing in the comfort of being close to another human being, even though she shouldn't need to be hugged by anyone else. Really, the last time she had her arms around someone else, outside of the context of her congregation, it was...
... no, she doesn't want to think about Alma. She'll say instead that she's warm enough with Wendy and Shari, so the entire thought she's having is pointless. She doesn't want for affection. She wouldn't, anyway. She has the most perfect wife in the world!
(Why, Elisa's even forgiving enough to let her embrace other people.)
"I know... I know. I didn't really get to choose it," Yuliana says, slowly. "It wasn't -- my fault. But I thought it was, I thought I had, for so long... I guess I just believed them."
Yuliana frowns, but she listens, as Leina calls her out. (And what a privileged position she occupies, that she can, and she does.) "You really... think I've not lost my humanity, Leyasha? Even now? Oh... you're a kind girl." She sighs, with a weary smile. "I don't know if that's true, but, I... I don't wish to be a monster, you know? I wish... this world would just accept me. So -- so it means something, really, Leyasha -- that you do."
Her hands shift, to squeeze Leina's shoulder. "I... I'm glad we were able to meet again, even if I kept you from something important... I missed you. I didn't know if you'd even welcome seeing me again... ahh, I suppose this didn't leave you much of a choice, but... I'm happy you were willing to defend me today."
Yuliana's smile, though, grows a shade sad. "I shouldn't," she says. "I'm a troublesome woman. Today proves that, no? I wished to save him, and it is done. If I darken his doorstep, no good will come for him. I should be satisfied to know he is well from a distance... if I were less selfish, I suppose I ought do the same with you." Yuliana glances away, for a moment, before she returns her gaze to Leina. "Forgive me. But I'll cause you no more trouble this day, all right? I meant what I said -- that I did not come to your woman's house to bring ruin. I did not mean for this to happen. I've no wish to disturb Magallanica." She's even polite enough not to call it a backwater dump, this time.
"Please -- go to see the children. I would not deny you that. I... I will go home. It is safer, there... and I've grown quite comfortable there, really." Yuliana sighs, shaking her head. "... you know, you weren't wrong, really..? At least when I thought about it, I thought... we could take a few years, at least, to focus on the children... our home is defensible enough, we'd not have to fear attack, we could raise them in peace. I was so hasty, I suppose, wanting all that before our aims were even met. I can't just pause Her will..." But Yuliana wanted to retire. Perhaps she even thought she could.
Still, she smiles to Leina, shakily. "It was lovely to see you -- really. Perhaps one day you'll visit?" ... does Leina even know where she lives?
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina listens to Yuliana work through it, but she feels like she hears recriminations in it anyway, for believing them in the first place. Even in this space where such senses are blind, she has to rely on raw empathy without the certainty of confirmation.
And as she asks that, "Of course not! God - how many people go through what you do in the labs and think the same thing? You're not alone in that regard, Yuliana. That's why they call it 'dehumanization'."
There's this letting go with one hand just long enough to make a gesture, "Snakes? Frills? Cold blood? Come on- I get why it's affecting your image of yourself, but you're still you. You're still who you were when I first met you, just shaped by a few more experiences. You even want most of the same things."
There are niggling doubts there, that pry at the edge of her perception, but- she has to move forward on that belief. This cult? What she and Elisa are doing? Tearing down the barriers of reality, even if they truly believe it'll help people...
But even so...
"Come on, the world not accepting you though? Yuli - think about it, what you told me earlier during... the experiments. You have a whole following now. And you never felt like that /before/ you joined up. The world and its people accept you - I think you're being tricked. Their experiments? That whole campaign of manipulation? They made you feel like 'the Other' when you're not. We see it all over their notes of how invested they were in messing with you to feel apart - so you'd be their weapon."
There's this, concerned look in the moment, "I get that you feel the way you feel, and your connection with 'Her' causes you to hurt - and hurt a lot, but come on. Is that really the world rejecting you? Or were you tricked into feeling this way by the REA because your perceptions of this whole thing were just messed up? There's proof all around you that the world isn't rejecting you.
There's a smile as Yuli squeezed her shoulder, "Things are... complicated now for me, but I do want to see you. Just - things are making it harder, for you too. It's not the same as when you were with the REA and could travel freely."
And Cathedra is not the same as REA when it comes to corrupt cops, Leina doesn't say, she can't just freely talk to suspects and fugitives all the time without it looking bad.
"I understand - I appreciate it, and I'll let Mineva know. We'll come up with a plan going forward, as we certainly didn't want this to happen to you."
There is a look of wonder, as Leina eyes her, her breath catches, is it really a good thing for her to raise children in that household? But - she cannot, will not, be the arbiter of who should and should not have children.
So instead she smiles, "I think an all powerful being from another dimension can show a little patience and understanding for your happiness. That's what I think, if she's immortal, what's a few years to her, really?"
Just leave those doubts there, and perhaps - perhaps...
"Alright, but - at least let me give Jona your regards, if you came to see him? I can at least explain to him why you're not. Here... would you like for me to call Doctor Kafim for you?"
The guards look at Leina in alarm at both the idea of Doctor Kafim showing up and her visiting, but don't, say anything... either way, the cops eventually return, and she makes a point of handing her a written warning.
"My superiors have decided that in light of - your service to Captain Orlodhari to drop all charges, and let you off with a warning. Miss Ashta says you were once in law enforcement, so I ask you to remember next time you're here on Magallanica, you can't just commit crimes in response to crimes."
Leina herself doesn't say anything but the cop does give her a look as if to ask 'satisfied'? And Leina just looks at her and says, "Don't worry, I'll be speaking with Princess Mineva on a plan going forward."
Getting up from the bench, Leina puts in a call to the command center, "Hey it's Leina. Can you forward my call to a certain number on Earth? ... Appreciated."
There's several long, long moments, Leina DEFINITELY doesn't have facetime active for this one.
"Doctor Kafim...? Yes, it's Leina. I think Yuliana needs you to come pick her up. There's been an incident..."
She is very, very, very polite in her explanation of what happened.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaSZ2myWIGM Nine Inch Nails - Home
"Dehumanised... am I...?" Yuliana wonders, watching Leina's hand gesture that way. She sighs, gaze veiling. "Ah... I suppose you're right."
Yuliana pauses, looking back to her eyes. "Though... I do not want all I did. I wished to destroy the Newtype which taunted me so grievously... but I was too harsh, Leyasha. It is not your fault you transgress so... it was... unfair of me, you see." It's difficult for her to edge around any admission of fault, evidently, with an uncomfortable little twitch of her lips, but somehow -- with all that effort -- she's able to meet Leina's eyes as she says it. "For I was made through those same experiments... and it was Dr. Devi who told me I ought hate the comparison."
And does she say it because she wants Leina to think of her as someone who can be saved? Certainly it is intoxicating to think someone would save her, after all those years alone.
Still, what Leina says about how she felt before she joined the REA... she frowns, as she works through it. "Maybe," she says, at length. "Maybe... my people do wish to see me. That is true. But, my Elisa says..." And again discomfort enters her gaze, the twitch of her fingertips, as she thinks of all those times Elisa's told her this world can't accept her. "Perhaps, she is... angry at a world which keeps hurting me," she reasons, incomplete. "Perhaps that is why."
Her head tilts, halfway to a bow, smile lopsided just the same. "Haa... sometimes I feel I am more a prisoner than I've ever been, Leyasha," she says, bittersweet. "I have to think so carefully about all my movements, now... often, I think I should just stay home. The Federation makes things so hard for me!" And she blames the Federation, not just the REA inside it.
And her smile is strained, as she says: "She is not... patient. Neither is She given to understanding. It is our task to understand Her. I cannot know the scope of Her desires... I know not why She pressures me, as if these mortal years matter, but...." Her smile wavers, for a moment, before she bites her lip. "Forgive me," she implores Leina, "I should preach with more belief behind me. Only -- only sometimes it is difficult. I wish I could..." ... but she closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Please think nothing of it." Someone who cares so much about fairness -- enough to even admit when she wasn't being fair -- must surely be shaken by the inequity between her demands and Hers.
Anyway.
"Yes," Yuliana says, blinking a little overlong. "Yes, please. Please do call her. And, oh... do give Jona my regards." Giving up, giving in, she collapses into herself, and she smiles.
She at least manages to compose herself in time to take that written warning. "Of course," she smiles, to the officer, and to her she's more put-together. "I am grateful you would excuse my passions this way. I do not wish to threaten your people."
Yuliana accompanies Leina to a private little office inside the hospital -- and really, it's shocking that she's even willing to follow Leina into a hospital, given she had to wield a gun to go in there last time -- and she bids her to be well, before Leina leaves her there, alone and hidden away.
Closed doors obscure the dark portal which tears open, the dark woman who steps out to collect her wife. The cameras will capture their embrace, loving and relieved, before another green portal consumes the both of them.
Just like magic -- she's gone.
(The handgun she leaves behind, identification run, is illegal.)