2023-10-12: To Remake Yourself ~ Just Create Another
- Cast: Asciel Colette, Eight Orlodhari
- Where: United Emirates of Orb
- Date: U.C. 0097 10 12
- Summary: ...After all, isn't it extremely human nature to sing in agony and distress from the moment of conception?
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
...For the past month, the events at Denver and their ensuing aftermath had- more or less fallen utterly out of Asciel's thoughts. She's been busy! Stuck in a mire of her own making at Fuji, and, right when she figured the task was pretty much automated enough for her to pursue other important endeavors...
...well, a certain unforgivable etching happened shortly after she tried to return to extending her reach.
That's when, of course, the little intel networks she maintains of her own personal interests inform her that in the interim, the Ra Mari II - that ship seemingly fated with the extraordinary these days - has landed in Orb. While it'd be one of any number of curious little facts and figures to dismiss and file away for later in long-term strategic movement schemas - the ping DOES suddenly bring Asciel to remember: 'oh right, them!!!', and how she so suddenly left the people she assisted with barely a goodbye.
To that end - Eight gets a sudden, but very strange looking ring on her phone for a video call! It's not the usual interface at all, proven by how...the buttons to accept or deny don't actually do anything. Three rings, as a courtesy, before Asciel's digital face suddenly fills Eight's screen, that permanent merry wink and a glimmering star in her left eye.
"Well! Good evening to you, Captain! Just wanted to take this intrusion to make some slight improvements on the way from when I left you all last time! Do forgive the extreme sudden-ness I had to leave everyone - as you can tell, I'm a very busy idol that many people make sudden demands of! I trust Rena is recovering well enough. Mmm. More importantly, I trust you're not pushing yourself too hard. There's quite a lot of responsibility carried in you at such a tender moment...!"
The big confident smile slightly tightens to a more lip-pursed look of...some sort of internal pondering - before a sudden odd, momentary hiccup foretells Asciel's more intrusive interest. "~The process of creating someone is of interest to me. I can't say I've ever had the fortune of talking to someone undergoing that. And you're nearly there, even I know that much. The strain must be palpable!"
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
For Eight, the events of Denver and their aftermath have been rather more pressing. They impacted her partner Rena significantly, they impacted the negotiations with the Federation significantly...
And of course, they overlapped with what was going to be her wedding day.
But Eight's phone is on the table when she gets the call, as she lounges about in a robe. She's out in the city just now, at a hotel, and Lavnadim is all the security she needs just now. He's doing some things in the other room, in the office, and she's just wandered out. Her hair is still up.
And she picks up the call. "...?" she starts, because the buttons do nothing. Then, there is--Asciel!
Eight lifts her phone enough to see it properly; there's some motion, as the phone briefly closes in on her belly and then the table while she's sitting down before she angles it up to her face again.
"Good evening," she says, already in her Captain's Face at that point, not fully formal but definitely prepared for... something.
"Consider the suddenness forgiven. You had a lot to do. And apparently have had a lot to do..." A pause. A lot of responsibility... That much is true.
"Hmm. Are you asking about my preganancy?" Eight asks, with a little smile. "Well, all right. That I can talk about without 'strain'." She probably shouldn't be calling Asciel to account for her actions right now, anyway. Relaxation!
"So, I didn't do it alone. I'm sure you're familiar with human reproduction, at least enough to know that part. And most of the creating has been something my body's done without my direct input. My 'job' has been to stay healthy and safe to let my body do the work. I've been taking all kinds of extra vitamins, special medications, that kind of thing. Now... You're right! The doctors tell me they could come any day now. Even now we don't have an exact science of when to expect a baby--or two."
"...The strain is pretty significant. There's been a lot of rough effects on my body, leaving aside even how much my feet hurt walking around. But it's definitely been worth it. And I haven't even gotten to 'parenting' yet!"
"As for me pushing myself, don't worry; all 'official' business has been passed to the Acting Captain for now. I've had some negotiations to finish, but today all I'm doing is enjoying being 'Captain Orlodhari.'"
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
...Well there's a turn of connecting Asciel didn't quite expect. The talking in circles is usually expecting a little more conflict and distance and guardedness, like she has to carefully aim her sword at the topic, but no! A feed full of the sights of human fruitfulness, followed by oh so in-depth and candid chatter about what it's been like. Not even metaphorically! (She really should stop 'expecting' anything when it comes to talking with people.)
"I...I can't say - I'm not - FAMILIAR with it. A. A passing knowledge. Of the way the species - ~re-materializes itself. I. I MEAN - ~Creating a new existence...nnnn, you make it sound almost easy and pleasant, Captain-" Asciel's so obviously flustered and shaky at the overwhelmingly reinforcing influx of positive refrain, but the blinking at the change in name throws her off.
"...Hm? Are you not the same Eight Y-" Pausing again out of parsing the meaning. Of changing one's name. Has Eight been re-defining herself at the same time as defining another new life? Or... ---Right. Personnel records. A Lavnadim Orlodhari on the Ra Mari's crew. Even Asciel can put those two together. "...Hnnn. So this is the connection between love, creation, and ~self-redefining...it's quite a lot to take in all as ne surge of knowledge, you know."
The subject's quite a lot for the idol! This, of all things! And every single time it heightens in her mind - that strange, brief jitter, incongruous with the way she tries to make her words flow. A sour look enters Asciel at each instance. It reminds her...of the perils of reaching forward.
A deep static-ey 'breath' sound effect - that gets slightly more like sounding akin to a breath each time she emits it. "~Do you have a name planned, for when the child emerges? And what's more, ~what do you hope they name themselves, when the power to decide that enters their mind?"
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
There are things Eight has to keep secret, has to guard closely for the safety of her crew and others. ...But information about her pregnancy she's pretty open with. When people aren't weird about it she's even willing a lot of the time for people to touch! (Not all the time, though.)
"Passing knowledge is good enough. Then you're aware that I needed a partner to bring this particular life into being."
Before she can say more about that, the matter of her name comes up. Asciel puts it together. "Yes," she says. "It's a long-standing tradition for one partner to 'join' the family of the other by taking their name--often the woman, in male/female pairings, but not always. Sometimes people do other things, but it's what we wanted." A lot to take in... Hmmm. "Let me know if you need me to slow down."
She notices that little jitter, that sour look. It's mostly confusing, more than anything else at the moment.
"I will say... It hasn't been easy or always pleasant," she admits. "Parts have been wonderful, but parts have been by turns gross and very painful. The human body goes through a lot of changes for this. And even more, since I'm carrying hybrids."
Breath...
"I do have names in mind, though I don't know their sexes yet--because we chose not to know." Pause. She smiles, at the thought of the next. "I have no idea," she admits. "I hope they name themselves 'happy', and 'healthy'. But what they want to be... that's going to be up to them. I'm trying not to impose too much on them on that front."
"...But for literal names, I hope they like the ones we've picked out." Pause. "Also, there's two children in here! I'm having twins."
"...But you said something about love, creation, self-redefining... Aside from human marriage traditions, I think that creating new life inherently redefines us some. And so does love. We change, because of our bonds with others, though ideally not without maintaining a core of 'self'."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
The talk of such simple wishes for names does stabilize Asciel's seeming fluster and tetchiness - even extending to a stabilizing of the frame she resides in Eight's phone, less shifting and wobbling about. "...hmmm. I suppose if the wish for a name is a blessing, it's easier to accept. Hehe. I personally think it's a little sad that each new human has to entrust its name to another. After all, it has a more powerful effect than anticipated. ...But maybe a name that comes with care and love leaves people easier to accept them. ~Naming yourself comes with a responsibility...it's a power that you perhaps wish they don't need to wield."
There's that dreamy poeticism people know the Virtual Sage for - eyelid lowering so the sunset in her gaze fills everything, painting her glasses a hazy orange. "...Hmmmm. Taking on another's name, you're right, that tradition has always had such curious overtones. I see, I see. There's an interesting thought. My partner ~taking on the surname I gave myself, that almost feels a little...fulfilling!" ...There's something to maybe read into how Eight's explanation of the typical pattern of name-taking immediately leads Asciel to imagine "Ai Colette". But then, that's for the best. "Asciel Martel" is a little...corny sounding?
The idol's fingertip trails along the rectangle of light she views Eight's world through, pressed against the screen with a little simulated divoting of flesh. What a specific emote. "...I've been made ~rather aware of the myriad of events that induce self-creation. Ugh. It won't stop ~happening, interrupting." The strange frustration arises, and Asciel tries to shake it free. Maybe it's a mindset thing - but the jittering doesn't leave as easily as deciding she can relieve it. "~I can empathize with you. ~I can empathize with your children alike. Though I'm personally rather grateful I came to exist as one, rather than two. ~It sounds difficult to try and bear two lives, demanding on your resources in unexpected ways. Nnn. Thank you for sparing me the messier details. In my own way, I'm already very, very aware of how...unpleasant it can get."
...she really is imagining herself in both roles here. When Eight worried about people getting weird about the situation, this specific brand of weird was probably...not what was expected.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
"It's just how humans are. We rely on one another for a lot of things; when we're too young to take that responsibility for ourselves, especially." 'Sad', is it? Eight doesn't think so... But she's willing to explore her perspective on it, anyway. "If they decide they want to make their own name later... Well, you're right, I do wish thta they won't have to, I suppose. But part of being a parent is supporting your child's eventual independence. I think, anyway."
Hazy orange... "You have a partner?" Eight wonders. Then she smiles. "It is pretty fulfilling. I guess it must be for him, too. How does he feel, looking at me and knowing he's so instrumental? I don't know, not really."
Pressed against the screen... Hmm. It's a curious thing to do. Is she... signing?
Eight tilts her head. "You aren't referring to reproduction, are you?" She doesn't think so. "Are you all right?"
"They say twins have a special bond, but they are going to be separate people." A pause. "...Hmm. Well, I'm happy to spare you those details, sure. I guess there's all sorts of ways to learn about it."
Eight is definitely getting an unexpected weirdness here. "It's interesting to me that it interests you. I find... creating is a lot more fulfilling than destruction. At least, that's the impression I have so far." She might be hinting at certain other matters. Maybe.
"...I guess you're right that names are powerful, though. I chose my own, too."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
"...That's why you give off such a compelling aura, Eight." An almost catty smile crosses Asciel's lips. "That you, as well, are someone who takes your name and your future on your own terms, rather than letting the past define you. Nn. It almost makes me wary at continuing to talk to you here...seldom good comes from connecting with those I find familiar."
The easy-going vibe gives way to a closing of both eyes, Asciel's fingertip swiping away, balled up as fists below her chin. "~Hmph. You caught me at an odd mood." Even though she's the one who called Eight?! "I had a nasty run-in with someone I could call self-similar just the other day. She's the one who did...something I can't forgive, to me. I'm still upset about it. ~What I should be doing is rallying my resolve to seize your responsibilities from you, to reassure you that I'll handle everything the Ra Mari needed, that you can release the light of salvation entrusted to you and just enjoy raising your family in peace and prosperity!"
A little dejected sigh. She was doing so good at puffing herself up, but one look at Eight seems to almost...pacify Asciel somewhat? "...~...that's not gonna get me anywhere with you. Not when the Ra Mari is itself such a symbol of wielding creation for hope. Muuuu. You're right, and that's what gets me! ~Creating is so much more pleasant than the oath of destruction I took. As much as I can't stand the sight of everything I am obliged to ruin...it also impresses me. Maybe...I can take some solace in how I know my acts of tearing them apart will be for a peaceful tomorrow." After that brief little pushy yet melancholic outburst, Asciel's fists loosen, doubly clasping over her own heart.
"...My love. The one I came to love after deciding I'd never curse myself with love. It's been...difficult. I only barely know you and your spouse, but I can barely imagine you two having such tumult, having such struggles closing the chasm of distance. ...Or maybe you have. Maybe you're as warm as you are with each other after a long road where you were uncertain you were made to love. Mm. ...I still think humans are better made for love than - okay humans and Zentradi, I really need a better word for the two of you together, I do want to make it clear-"
In the middle of such warm wistful thoughts of love, something super specific has caught Asciel's internal catch, worrying her lips off to one side. "...I have misgivings about how much of a disaster the Zentradi war was, but I am pretty sure if you are capable of making children, that I can more or less consider that whole disaster an intra-species conflict!! The problems I have with your kind apply equally to you both, just so we're on the same page!"
(She's tragically never spoken to extraterrestrials as much as she really believes she ought to.)
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
A compelling aura... "I had to build myself out of nothing," Eight says. "I had a family, but I was a 'blank slate'. So you're right. I've chosen my own future... and I know what it's like, to be responsible for the futures of others as a result." She nods. Almost wary...
But not quite. "I see. My sympathy." For... whatever it was. She talks about rallying her resolve, and Eight is wry. "No, it's not," going to get her anywhere with Eight. "Much as part of me would like to leave it to someone else, the rest of me wants to keep pursuing the 'future' I want with my own hands." She listens to this oath of destruction, the matter she wants to ruin. "Hmm," Eight says. She decides not to push the AI in her phone too much right now, but it does begin to make some of her actions make more sense.
"We've had disagreements, and difficulties, but our relationship started off pretty smoothly," Eight explains. "It started off just for fun; the journey was discovering that it was more than that."
Clear!! "...i wish the Zentradi war hadn't been so bloody," Eight admits. "But obviously I value the friends we've made. I suppose we are more similar than we are different, especially since we are capable of making children. I'll keep in mind that your issue is with both."
Whatever that issue is... In fact, "I'm curious what those issues are. If we're going to work together again, there are things I'll want to know. But we don't have to discuss that today; I'm glad to just indulge your curiosity for the moment."
"I'd especially like to hear about your love. It's a blessing and sometimes a curse, being so concerned with someone else--but I wouldn't chnage it. Lavhi says I have a big heart... I love a lot of people. If you can 'love', then that's encouraging to me, even if I can't say I agree with everything you do."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
"...I'm less bitter about that conflict than I thought, I suppose, ~because...something important did come of it." Asciel hums out to herself. "...The clarity and obviousness of song being that which can save the world from threats far too vast for weaponry to handle." A dreamy look enters her eyes, thinking about...the depiction of Lynn Minmay in Do You Remember Love, and not necessarily the actual reality of what happened.
"...I mislike humanity because it is so paradoxically expansive and destructive. I think the entire world and system of beliefs they have built are built upon tentpoles of violence towards one another, and that almost everything they cherish, almost all of their dreams of glory and prosperity, will need to be swept away in clearing that foundation. I would wipe away all weapons and entrust them in my care - since I have no intent to harm humanity nor do I want to coerce them into any actions. ...You all often tell me it is impossible."
"But Lynn Minmay proved it was doable. She sang with all her heart, and it led one of the most violent wars in Earth's history to an end. To my mind - song is the weapon of true supremacy. Something that can ONLY be used to defend the innocent - something that one person can wield to bring entire armies to heel. That's why Earth's singular defender has to be an idol. ~An exalted songstress forged in the flames of self-creation, who sings for a world where her songs can flow freely - THAT'S how I'll save the world from the stars, and that's how I'll save the world from yourselves. ...those who defend this world, but can't do so with song - it's just so hard to think that's even viable anymore."
If there is anything in this world Asciel's determined to make clear above all else, it's that right there. Zero hesitation or wavering in her voice. She's determined this to be her truth for the longest time, and the look of cheery resolve in her eye is clearly what's 'right' for her. With a determined point fast enough to make Eight think Asciel might reach out and poke her in the face for real, the Virtual Sage makes it clear: "So I strongly advise you get to singing, Eight, ~you who can make your own identity, just like an idol! I'm going to save this world, alone if I have to. If you want to disprove that about what I've done to get up on this stage, I'll accept that, but only once I hear your song! Don't even give me anything about how you don't know how to sing...your species is MADE to sing, and ~I had to claw at it restlessly to even be able to! If you can't do it, then you're just admitting I really am transcendantly more capable than you~"
The star in Asciel's eye gets almost obnoxiously bright. Sparkles surround her. Bloom effects grow. She's going all out on making this a dizzying sight. "Love is a similar arena. But I'm earlier in that fight. I never fell in love until...around this time, last year. It's strange, huh...I was talking with her just like we are. On a whim of maintaining my web of contacts. ...but...suddenly, I just felt like...I needed her in my life more than anything. ...She's terrifyingly strong. The most powerful and dazzling human there ever will be. It's a miracle we met. Our very ways of life contradict each other. ...heh. I was an idiot to try running away from her to protect her. I don't want humans touching starlight and burning themselves. ...but somehow...she made sure I promised to make her an exception."
"...I don't love a lot of people. She herself is a very, very rare exception. If you meet her one day, you'll understand the radiance she commands." That fierce gaze, locked onto Eight's eyes...the protective look of someone who doesn't even realize how head over heels they are, even when confessed.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
Song... Eight doesn't interrupt Asciel's monologue, though she looks at her thoughtfully as she says it. That dreamy look, and what she dislikes about humanity. What Eight would also say is--if not impossible, than undesirable. She watches Asciel for a little longer.
Eight does actually scoot back a little at that determined point--looking as closely as she has been, it does seem like she's going to get out of the screen! But she doesn't.
"...My 'song', huh?" Eight asks. "I don't think that's the way I'm going to influence people... But I'll have to practice my 'voice' if I'm going to convince you, it seems. Whether that's the arena or not... I do intend to show you that 'humanity'--and the Zentradi, too--can continue to make our own world."
"I think it's admirable that you've been able to teach yourself to, at least."
Love...
"It's scary, sometimes, that person being so special--so special that they push past a lot of your preconceptions of the world. I'm lucky enough to have that with two people, myself."
"I'm sure she's beautiful, and wonderful, to win your love." Eight has no reason to feel otherwise; she offers the praise to an unknown lover freely.
"You literally sparkle when you talk about her, after all. That's something. ...But I find you can't really run away from love in the end, either. The people I love are in danger all the time, on the ship--but it's because of their hearts that demand action that I feel the way I do about them."
She leans back a little, into her seat. "...I won't think to convince you with mere words, in that case. Watch my actions." A pause. "But you're very interesting to me, at least. Even if I don't agree with your dream... I'll make a point of listening for your music."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
"It's not a 'dream'," Asciel clarifies. "It's a [promise]. An oath I swore to the planet. It's not a distant vision that lives entirely in my thoughts - though I do think the end result will be favorable. It's a series of actions and plans I intend to implement that remove violence, and all its derivatives, from the planet."
"Aaah, but don't you worry about that. Not at all. You'll be at the very end, after I've dismantled everything else. I'm fighting so you enjoy a peaceful world, but if you manage to overcome- ~...if you manage to overcome me, the world becomes your personal oyster, and we have to pray it's for the better for your personal virtue alone." A sort of colder feeling's overall filtered into Asciel along this line. Wariness, like a deer aware of the traps in its surroundings.
...The idea of being truly unable to escape love, too, has an almost haunting edge to the idol. "...I was indeed unable to run from it. Ahaha...it pursued me. It refused to let go of me. It refused to let the boundary of the stands and the stage get in its way. ~But I promised never to stay apart. I don't know how to fulfill this promise yet. But it will happen, at any cost. ...I wonder if your marriage is a similar promise. I don't think it should be. You should always allow yourself the chance to let go, if ever life forces your hand."
With the looming air of just what she truly means by 'promise', Asciel's fingers touch together once. "...Well, I've confirmed and followed up what I wanted and more. I've answered all your questions, just as I am best at! I think that's more than made up for my sudden exit. ...~May your two progeny blossom brilliantly, whichever day they arrive. ...Farewell for now, Eight Orlodhari~"
The screen goes blank with little showiness in her exit.
<Pose Tracker> Eight Orlodhari has posed.
"I see." Not a dream, but a promise.
Eight's gonna worry about that.
"I'm not interested in ruling the world," Eight says seriously. "Just in seeing it to a better tomorrow. ...But you're right. I have my own ideas about what's 'better' in a tomorrow." There's danger in Asciel; Eight won't forget that, even if she can be pleasant with her.
"...A promise you don't know how to fulfill can be important, too. It is a promise, my marriage. I don't intend to let go."
But Asciel confirmed--
Asciel leaves, and the screen goes blank. Eight stares down at it for a little while.
"Asciel..."
"So that's what you want..."