2023-08-05: Tutoring
- Cast: Yuta Hibiki, Takeshi Todo
- Where: Tsutsujidai
- Date: U.C. 0097 08 05
- Summary: Gridman arrives at his brother's home for some help with math. The conversation drifts, and they begin to discuss humanity, and their role alongside it.
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
Gridman Sigma has been in better states. He's also been in far worse states, several of which he has emerged from over the past month or so. As one does, of course, when recovering from to an Angel blasting your brain with an AT Field-amplified Rejection. He is, after all, a Hyper Agent. A being whose essential nature is tied strongly to communication, connection, and bonds. To be in such a willingly self-imposed, vulnerable state only to <<blasted>> as he was...
Well, it took some time to recover from. He's still recovering from it.
Today, Sigma is taking a day off from working for GGG to partake in a small hobby of his. Or rather, he was. The day is winding down, and the sun is setting in the window of his small home's bottom floor living room. There's only one person left who's due to show up for Math Tutoring, and all the other students have cleared out for the evening.
This is by design. After all, he can't be talking Hyper Agent Things around just anyone, and their conversations do naturally tend to drift.
Sigma sits at a card table in front of a stack of textbooks and worksheets, tinkering while he waits with a small device that seems to be nearing completion-- whatever it is. There's a kettle of tea bubbling nearby at the border of his living room and a cluttered kitchen. Cookbooks and handwritten recipe cards are strewn liberally all over the latter, propped up between utensils and the occasional pot. Otherwise, the place is quite clean-- not a spot of food sticking to anything at all.
His living room is... somewhat more put together, but only because students need places to sit. There used to be a TV in a corner, but it's been consumed by a sprawling mess of electronics. So are most things, for that matter. At least, except for the bookshelves-- which are all paradoxically neat and well-organized.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Perhaps Hyper Agents make for good tutors. Knight helped Gridman immensely with his history studying. Does Knight count as a Hyper Agent? Gridman wonders, as he walks up to 'Takeshi's' apartment. If he and his comrades can be Hyper Agents without ever really knowing what it means, then someone like Knight could, right?
In the end, Gridman decides Knight is a Hyper Agent if he says he's a Hyper Agent. If not, then he's not. Easy.
With his backpack full of both summer homework and practice entrance exams, and his arms full of freshly-baked homemade bread (the same kind Shinji liked so much), Gridman has to jostle things around a bit to be able to knock at his brother's door.
Knock! Knock, knock!
"Hey!" Gridman says, cheerfully, when Sigma opens the door. The smile on his face fades a little, seeing the condition the other Hyper Agent is in. "...Max sent some bread. Are you okay, Sigma?"
Gridman steps inside, once he's invited, and slips out of his shoes. His backpack is placed down by the table. There's something pleasant about Sigma's chaotic apartment -- it's /very/ different from the chaos of the Neon Genesis Junior High Students' homes, especially Max's carefully curated display.
"Um." He says, worriedly, "Can I help with anything? I know everything with Duma has been..."
Gridman isn't sure what he can say to even describe their experience.
"...I've been struggling with it too. I got banned from the Geofront." It's a sort of embarrassed admission. "And from NERV operations. I think I got off pretty easy... Just two letters. But I've been worried about you, Sigma. Did you get yelled at or anything?"
Walking to the kitchen, Gridman places the bread down on the counter. "It's really good. Still warm, too, if you want some."
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
Gridman Sigma-- 'Takeshi Todo'-- has indeed seen better days. But he's also seen worse days. It used to be that he could barely stand, so enervated he was by the entire experience. But several weeks of lying low and recovering have made it so that he mostly just looks like he's tired of the low-grade headaches he's been dealing with for several days.
Still: It's not great!
He perks up quickly when Gridman enters, adjusting the glasses perched over his nose as the scent of freshly baked bread wafts through the room. "Ah, Gridman," he says, setting his present work aside. "Yes, please. I have some jam set away in the fridge. And there should be a bread knife and plates in there somewhere... Oh, while you're doing that, let me get the tea." Sigma pushes out of his seat, the House Yukata wrapped around him shifting as he rises. His home is chaotic, it's true, but it seems like he knows what he's looking for, plucking one teacup up from between a couple of pots, and a second from a stack of dishes jenga'd up into a tower. Somehow it doesn't come crashing down the moment the cup is removed. "It's remarkable, you know. The scent of fresh bread, I mean. Humans have evolved such a keen nose for it, and it is almost universally beloved. A result of evolving for so long with bread as a staple foodstuff, I'm sure--"
There is in fact a jar of strawberry jam in the fridge. It looks... handmade?
Sigma has many hobbies.
"--Ah, yes, Duma," Sigma's mood sinks ever so slightly as he retreats to the card table, pouring out a share of deep, brown tea into each cup. "...I was given a slap on the wrist. I think Commander Shishioh--" That's still so strange to say, "--Was sympathetic. And likely thought that I'd already suffered enough on my own, all things considered."
"...I'm going to have to help them kill him, I think," he admits, sadly. "Duma... Duma has made it clear that he does not want to coexist with humanity."
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"I'll take care of it!" Gridman says, of the jam, knife, and plates. He sets to work neatly, eyeing the Dishes Tower warily as Sigma takes a teacup from it. "...woah. I thought that would fall over for /sure/."
He laughs, a little too brightly. Perhaps Gridman has seen better (and worse) days as well.
Gridman smiles as his brother begins to share the history of humanity's experience with bread. "I didn't know it was such a big deal to them. But if it goes that far back, it makes sense there'd be some kind of instinctive reaction to the smell. I really like the scent, too."
Gridman looks impressed by the handmade jam. "You know, Max made some bread when Shinji came over, and it definitely helped him calm down... I think you're onto something."
Four slices of bread are cut and placed on the plates, two each. Jam is spread, and Gridman holds them carefully as he follows Sigma to the card table.
"Sorry to bring it up right away." The young Hyper Agent says, quietly. For a moment, the only sound is dishes clinking down to the table. "I'm glad they weren't hard on you.
But yellow eyes widen in surprise as Sigma speaks again. "What -- no way, you don't have to do that! After all we went through, all those times you connected with Duma, it'd be way too painful for you! There's plenty of NERV pilots and others to --" Gridman cuts himself off, looking down.
"...they'll be fine without us. They made that clear last time."
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
"It's all a matter of practice," Sigma says of-- plate and cutlery jenga? Is that a skill one can even cultivate? Even now, the structure seems precarious...
Oh well, it's probably fine.
P r o b a b l y.
Bread is indeed an important thing to human civilization. Sigma nods warmly, "Oh, yes! Basically every culture that has had access to some kind of grain has turned it into bread at some point in their development. It's a very useful technology, you know? Bread has a high caloric density relative to its weight, resists deterioration fairly well, and can be carried from place to place and eaten much more conveniently than grain!" Bread! Is important business!
This has been the requisite educational content from Math Tutor Gridman Sigma. That it is not math is immaterial.
But-- the conversation is not merely limited to bread. There is an angel to discuss.
Sigma's expression softens as Gridman's turns downcast. He gingerly lifts his teacup, warming his palms against the smooth ceramic. "...Perhaps, but I want to help them. Whether or not they 'need' that help is immaterial, anymore. I will help them because I want to help them. We tried our best with Duma, but... If I must choose between humanity and Duma, then I will give humanity my aid, as much as I am able. It's the least I can do, after 'making' that decision for them before."
"Besides, I am a member of GGG," he says with a slight smile, "And no matter how hard it gets, a member of GGG must never give up."
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"At the rate Max does dishes, I'd never get a chance to make a tower like this. He says it's soothing, and sometimes he'll go down to Aya just to wash their dishes." Gridman shrugs. "If it works it works, I guess."
Despite the somewhat impromptu nature of Sigma's Historical Information, Gridman looks interested. Taking a bite of his jam-covered bread, he thinks for a moment. "Well, it's not like stuff that old really affects anything, right? But it's cool to know anyway."
As far as 'teenagers' go, that's a pretty solid endorsement!
Gridman picks up his teacup as well, turning it around in his hands as Sigma speaks about Duma. Yellow eyes watch the tea gently slosh from side to side.
"Is killing Duma really helping him?" Gridman takes a sip. It's good -- different from the tea Borr makes, but still nice. "Knight said some things similar to what you're saying now. That I need to make a choice and stick to it, basically. I know... we're both here to help humanity. That's the whole reason we exist in this world."
Sip.
"But does it have to go that far? They're not even... They won't even /talk/ to each other. Why do we have to encourage them to just kill without even trying to understand?" Gridman squeezes his eyes closed. "Shinji asked me if you and I could get Duma to run, but I don't think it's possible. Even he doesn't want to hurt Duma, so why do you have to? It's not giving up to not want to hurt someone you linked your mind with!"
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
"Ahaha, I do dishes fairly quickly too, actually. It's just, actually organizing everything is troublesome." His actual dish cupboards are rather bare, actually! Sigma really just, needs someone the right kind of Specifically Neurotic to put all his stuff back where it needs to be.
Or a maid. One of the two.
"I enjoy learning about the foundational developments in human civilization," he says around a sip of toasty tea. "It helps to understand the why of people and the lives they live. Humans are amazing, and it's enjoyable to me to learn more about them when I can. So maybe it's not 'useful,' but I enjoy it."
And that's all that you really need to do something!
"No, it isn't," Sigma answers as the topic shifts back towards... darker topics. Duma-adjacent topics. "It's not a matter of encouraging them to kill. Duma... has decided that they cannot coexist with humanity. They've chosen to be an enemy to mankind, no matter how much they might love humanity. So... I must protect-- no," he shakes his head slowly, his tea rippling subtly as it clicks against the table. "I must fight alongside the peoople I care for. They are not a singular mass, Gridman. Each and every one of them is a unique existence, each a universe within themselves. There are ones who I will stand alongside, and there are others who I must fight. Even though I love 'humanity' as a whole, there are 'people' who I will come into conflict with. As someone who has chosen to walk alongside humankind... That is something that I must accept."
"Even when Takeshi returns," he says, leaning back slowly. "I will still do so. I connected to Duma, but... If standing back because I am afraid of being hurt myself means that the ones I love are at risk of losing what makes them so unique and wonderful, then I would never forgive myself. I don't want to hurt Duma, but I can't allow them to destroy humanity's will."
"Courage... Courage means facing the things you are afraid of, to do the right thing even when it's hard. It's not that I 'have' to, it's that 'I am going to,' because I want to stand alongside my comrades... My friends."
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Despite his misgivings, Gridman is willing to hear his brother out. Sipping his tea, he listens, waiting until Sigma has said his piece to reply.
"I agree with you. If Duma is going to attack people, he has to be stopped. I... just don't feel good about you going into battle knowing how much you're going to get hurt. I don't want that to happen to you. Maybe I'm a little more selfish, I guess." Gridman puts his tea down as well.
Maybe even if 'humanity' isn't what Gridman expected it to be, there are definitely 'people' who exceed his wildest dreams, again and again. Again, he goes quiet, thinking over Sigma's words carefully. His utter faith in his partner, his love for humanity, his courage and strength...
"You're really amazing, bro." Gridman laughs a little, shaking his head. "You're so cool! If this is the way you feel, I won't try to stop you. And if you're going to fight, maybe that means... I should, too. If I feel the same way, then why should I act any differently?"
Facing the things you're afraid of, even when it's hard. Gridman's hands knit together under the table.
"I want to stay with my friends, too. I don't want to go back." He murmurs. "I'm scared to. But it's the right thing, isn't it. I can't just keep Yuta's body..."
Gridman says this as if it's settled, but there's such uncertainty in his eyes.
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
"I'm selfish too," Sigma answers with a self-effacing laugh, "Or I wouldn't still be down here. I... intend to stay here, once Takeshi is returned. I may no longer have a body of my own by that point, but that is immaterial. I'll just have to enjoy this one while I have it."
He takes a bite out of some jammy bread.
It's tastily strawberrylicious.
"We can't exist in this world without being hurt," Sigma adds with some sadness. "It's... The price of experience. Of having a will to choose. Sometimes, we hurt. And that's okay. It's what comes after, the process of standing back up, that matters most. As long as we have others to help us recover, it'll work out somehow." And if it doesn't--
Well. That's life, too, isn't it?
Is he cool, though? Sigma laughs bashfully, "Ah, well. Thank you, but-- I'm really just aping Takeshi in a lot of ways. But... I think it would go a long way to repairing some hurt feelings if you were there to lend your support, when the time comes. And I know I would... greatly appreciate the support."
It's hard. It's very hard. Fighting something that you /know/ should not be in the position it's in... Fighting something as kind but as stubborn as Duma--
...Actually, isn't that what humanity does regularly? Hm.
"...Yes, I can understand the hesitation. I mean, I've lingered here for long enough to become 'human' myself," for years, even. The time with Takeshi, and now... "But... there are options now, Gridman. If you like. You can forge a bond with a human you're close to as I have-- as you've done in the past. You could even... see about a cybernetic body, if you like. The Super AI of GGG are an example, though I know it's not at all ideal."
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"What will it be like for you, when Takeshi comes back?" Gridman asks, chomping on his own bread. Strawberries aren't as good as apples, but they're still a top five fruit for sure. "Will you be stuck in your terminal, the way I used to be?"
Those were awful days. Gridman can't help but shudder, thinking of it -- even now, he doesn't like enclosed spaces.
"I'll do my best to be there, Sigma." Gridman promises. "I don't know if I can fight him, after everything, but I'll be there. That's the least I can do, especially if it'd help you. I'm not sure I can fix things with NERV, especially with Asuka, but... I told Shinji I'd be there whenever he needed me. I need to keep my word."
Gridman listens to Sigma with almost a desperate expression. "Do you really think --" He looks down. "I've found some people who say they could help me. They've done a lot of good for the world, but they say some, um." He scratches the side of his cheek, smearing a little jam there. "Some pretty awful things about Newtypes. I don't know. My comrades don't like them..."
"But if there really are options, it'd be better than just leaving for good! I don't even /remember/ the place we came from. Why would I ever want to go back there?" Gridman sounds cautiously hopeful, his bread forgotten in one hand in the fervor of his words.
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
"Mmm, hard to say," Sigma murmurs, tapping at his chin. "Probably not? Even back then, you could do as I did, and traverse between Computer Worlds. I did so on Takeshi's behalf regularly-- there were a great many Compoids who we helped doing that back then." He frowns slowly, "...But you would have a hard time interacting with the physical world like that. Not unless merge with your host and spend time outside like that. Hmn."
It's... complicated. But it's not as terrible as it could be. Not as it /was/ anyway.
Gridman promises to be there to fight Duma, and Sigma seems... relieved. He exhales slowly and smiles. "...Thank you, Gridman. I think that would be a great help, even if you don't end up fighting Duma. Having you there would go a long way. Itm ay not be able to smooth things over with everyone, but... It'd help. Even if all you do is protect the others."
He can't very well demand that Gridman raise his sword to Duma, after all.
But--
People who say awful things about Newtypes...? Sigma's eyebrows knit together at the mention. "That's... Mm. That sounds a little bit ominous to me. I don't know if it's so easy of a problem to overcome, Gridman. People who promise something that sounds too good to be true-- I don't know, it often /is/ too good to be true, yes? There's often a catch."
Humanity is-- not always so kind as to give away miracles for free.
"Hyper World... Hm. I don't know, honestly. I'd prefer to stay here as well, myself, if given the choice." Humanity is absolutely far more interesting than anything going on back up there. "But... we /are/ Hyper Agents. We came here for a reason, deployed by Hyper World. I don't know what happens if too many of us just decide to... Not go back."
It... it hasn't happened before. Does Hyper World deploy Hyper Agents to retrieve Hyper Agents...?
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"Computer Worlds." Gridman's heard the term before, but it still doesn't mean much to him. He wonders if they're like the world he found between reality and Bujack's dream. "That makes sense. I really don't want to steal anyone else's body, if I can help it."
Sigma smiles, and Gridman smiles in return. "I'll do anything you ask of me, brother. You've taken care of me even before I knew who I was, and I'll never be able to repay you. But I want to keep trying anyway."
Even if he can't fight Duma, Gridman can still use his strength to protect his friends. Now that he knows the Eva pilots feel the pain of their machines, he's all the more determined to keep Kaworu and Rei from harm, if he can help it.
"Gotcha." Gridman lowers his gaze down to his quickly-cooling tea. "Yeah, I've had a weird feeling about it, but I don't know. If they spend so much time feeding and clothing people in need, how bad can they really be? I don't know. If you feel bad about it too, maybe it's a sign."
Yellow eyes widen as Sigma wonders over the fate of Hyper Agents who refuse to come home. "Of course, if they deployed us, they must be keeping watch on who comes back. If we both stay, then..."
"..."
Sigma spoke so eloquently of his love for humanity. Gridman himself barely understands them. Not to mention Sigma's partner is still in danger.
Sip.
If one of them has to go home, it has to be Gridman. The teacup rattles slightly as this realization sinks in.
"That makes sense!" Gridman says, with a wobbly smile. "Oh, I wanted to run this practice entrance exam by you, is that alright? It's more than math, but you know pretty much everything, Sigma."
Standing and dragging his backpack over, Gridman rummages through his papers. There's enough work and studying to occupy the rest of the evening -- hopefully enough to keep the younger Hyper Agent's mind off the future.
<Pose Tracker> Takeshi Todo has posed.
One of them has to go back... Is that really true? Hyper World-- surely they care about humanity as well. Or else they wouldn't have sent Hyper Agents out into the world...?
A teacup rattles, Sigma looks up in some slight surprise. "Ah, is... everything okay? I--" Something isn't quite right, but... Gridman has to study. That's the Actual Reason he came here today, isn't it? "Ah, right. Let's... Let's do that for now."
Was it something he said...?
"There's something else I'd like to teach you as well," Sigma says, a little more tentatively. "I think it's safe to do so, seeing as you seem to have wielded it unintentionally already, but... It will be useful to protect our friends against Duma. There's a power that we possess called 'Grid Kinesis...'"