2023-07-24: .we will make them fight for what they desirE
- Log: .we will make them fight for what they desirE
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2023-07-24
- Summary: Yuliana pours her heart out to Elisa, not quite ready to sleep after so many nightmares, and comes to a realisation she's had about Alma. She almost embarrassed Elisa, but she made an effort to fix it, and Elisa reveals that struggle must occur to save Alma from her fate. The wives, of course, love each other, even if their work matters so much more to them than all the people they're hurting on the way to saving the world.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM Sia - Breathe Me
Yuliana's been sleeping badly for the past week or so. Even when she does not receive her visions, she is troubled. She says she is suffering from memories, if not quite in those words. She hasn't made a fuss of it, though she has made something of a fuss of Elisa -- she even went out into the world to buy her a lovely diamond-and-emerald necklace, a few days ago.
A few days ago, though, she was so tired she had a nap without Elisa, only to disastrously fall into the black. Sokrova brought Elisa to her, and Alma escorted her up, and -- a little exploration of how this happened reveals that she was chatting with Wen, before she drifted off.
(Wen has surely since been kindly instructed to inform Elisa, should it happen again.)
No wonder, then, that she is in Elisa's arms again.
She always was. Even the night of their -- of Yuliana's inconsiderate display, she buried herself beside Elisa. She needs her, she needs her, totally reliant on Elisa's protection to help her through the night.
But she is not always... eager, to sleep, all the options awaiting her. As she rests, now, one hand curled at Elisa's chest and the other trapped between them, stroking absently at the muscled lines of her darker shoulder. Where the furs meet them, they cast deep shadows, the only light of the room from that fireplace which keeps Yuliana from freezing in the cold.
"... it's not that I'm bothered by someone like that dying," she's pouring out her heart to her about Permanence, with no secrets between them. "She was arrogant, anyway... thought she could save... she couldn't save anyone. It's just... she... she got out, Elya... she got out, but that whole damn system killed her, anyway..."
Yuliana sighs, fingers stilling, against her wife. "... can any of us even escape it?" She wonders, and wonders too much, placing herself beside the other victims of laboratories.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Oh, yes. Elisa instructed Wen quite kindly.
Elisa listens, as Yuliana speaks. She has mentioned Permanence. And the things that Elisa is hearing, well... Yuliana is worried about it. And thus, it's important. It matters.
"Yes," Elisa says. "You can. You have. Your destiny lies elsewhere than such a system." She pauses. "...But others? Others, I believe that it's possible. Difficult, in the world as it is, but possible. Certain, in the world we shall show them all."
"Certain, in the world we shall create. Such things will be of the past, when man achieves what lies before him."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa is so very kind, after all.
Yuliana breathes her in, nuzzling at her neck, eyes fluttering half-closed as Elisa's words wash over her. They're such a comfort, to her tormented heart, all pulled so many ways. It's possible... even if it's hard, for them. Even if it's hard, for now.
"Peace and equality... it will be beautiful," Yuliana sighs, as she echoes Elisa to Elisa, reverberating again and again still. "Oh, Elya..."
She rests her head against Elisa's shoulder, as she reaches up to brush her hand against her cheek. She hums, through her lips, a frown flitting over her face. "... though... there's something the conversation I had there made me think of," she starts, a shade hesitantly.
(She hasn't spoken deeply about what that conversation was, but to say it was those wretched Newtypes on the Ra Mari II; she is eminently dismissive of them.)
"Really," she starts, a little defensive, a little embarrassed, "it was just a thoughtless comment, but... I thought of it, again, when I was yelling at someone about sending that tetushka to her suicide." That aunt, that is. Yuliana's never questioned why Elisa speaks Zaftran. Why would she? "In a moment of frustration against that wretched woman, I suppose I told Alma that if she had to die, it had better be killing her... of course I told her not to get herself killed, you know, I wasn't unreasonable! But Lilith is so terrible... well, I didn't really consider it at all, for a while. Except... I suppose the fool girl might have kept it in her head... I don't know."
Yuliana glances, aside, to the texture of those furs, as her fingers still. "I didn't mean to... of course, I told Alma she mustn't let Lilith bring her to harm, once I'd realised it. So I've -- already addressed the situation, you see, it's just... you know I'd never try to circumvent your promises, boyevaya podruga. I was just angry, really, that's all... but I'd never wish to trouble you."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"It will," Elisa says. But something she thought of? Elisa notices the hesitation. She braces herself for another issue like the one that they had before, unconsciously, but that is not what happens. Instead...
"Ah," Elisa says. "I see..." A moment of frustration. She sets her jaw in thought, considering how best to handle this. It could be a problem--but immediately, Yuliana modifies it.
"She might have," Elisa says. "Such orders are likely to remain in mind; it is difficult to predict, on a long-term matter such as this. I believe it would have." She stops, and smiles, taking Yuliana's hand in her own, squeezing her fingers. "Yes. You did your best. Once you realized, you attempted to fix it. I know that you would not cause me trouble intentionally. And indeed..."
"In this case, it may work to our advantage."
"I would not go back on my word. But it would seem that in order to keep it... I must put her life in 'their' hands." She nods, contemplative. "Yes... That is the answer. It is the only way to break what I have done to her mind, in any case."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana feels Elisa's jaw tensing. Perhaps she, in turn, will feel the tension in Yuliana's body, as if her muscles simply led to hers, all interconnected, all entangled. (And they are, indeed, entangled, Yuliana's legs all curled around Elisa's, her tentacles wrapped about. There is no movement Yuliana could make which Elisa would not know... now, or ever.) She volunteers all she has, though she is afraid of hurting her wife again, because she is afraid of hurting her wife again.
(She's the one who did wrong, isn't she?)
But Elisa smiles, and takes her hand, and relief floods Yuliana's envy-green gaze like a dam all broken. Her fingers find their home, weaving between Elisa's, and she is so grateful to know what Elisa knows. Her smile is the brightest thing in this room.
"Oh, Elya..." Yuliana sinks into her wife, all boneless and relaxed again, her life and her hand in Elisa's own palm. "You're so clever, my darling. I knew you'd think of something," and she adores her, she adores her, gazing up to her so warmly.
"It must be so difficult. You couldn't just alter her memories, after all... I suppose it's because she'd still be under your thumb, if you did such a thing, wouldn't she?" Yuliana's thumb under hers, she squeezes her hand, in turn, lightly. "Your word is your bond, after all... if it's the only way to deliver her back to them, they should be grateful!"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa does feel it. Perhaps it is part of what makes her relax in turn. She notices, after all, Yuliana's difficulties. She knows that it troubles her to trouble Elisa. She did wrong, that time, but Elisa does not hold it against her. However...
Elisa strokes Yuliana's side, with her other hand. "You inspire me," she says. "Your energy always gives me more to think upon, more to consider."
But then she nods at that. "Yes. If I simply black out her memories, then she'll be a useless husk. I am not fond of the girl, but I promised to return her in a fit state for living. This is the only way to free her while leaving her mind intact--the only way to break the control without destroying her."
"...And it means I will have kept my side of the bargain. I believe that they can 'save' her. They will have to believe in themselves."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa's fingertips along her side... she's willing to go to that effort, for her. Yuliana could not be more blessed, that her wife is willing to move for her sake, and her gaze only softens further under the weight of so much love.
"I am for you," she breathes. "All for you."
A useless husk...
"She is not strong," Yuliana agrees, gently, almost understanding too much. "She would not withstand such a thing. Yes... yes, this is the only way. It's only fair to give them the chance... if they really believe in it, they'll fight for it."
Her thumb rubbing against the side of Elisa's hand, Yuliana smiles, all too fond. "It is proper to fight to save someone... since that's how they intervened with the Institute, as well." And if it was good enough for Yuliana, that must mean it is the greatest good of all.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
She moves! She is willing to do so. It is warranted.
"Yes," Elisa says. "And only me. ...And I will always protect you."
Yuliana agrees, and she does seem to understand. "She could not," Elisa agrees. "It is a chance. It is what I can do."
She then shakes her head. "Of course," she says, "While that is true--while to fight for what you believe in, for what you wish, is the proper way--While it is the only way they can truly appreciate what they have--"
"They will not appreciate it," Elisa says. "They may even think it foul. ...But that does not matter."
"Hmmm... Perhaps..."
She considers. "I will think on this. On how to make it 'fair'..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana's eyelids flutter, cheeks colouring with all her trust and affection, under Elisa's care. "Only you," she echoes, she agrees, she affirms, as she lifts both their hands to her lips to kiss Elisa's fingertips. "I am yours." Under her protection, and her consideration, and her love.
If she is Elisa's muse, let her be no other.
It is a chance, of course, that they will not appreciate. "They're so cruel," Yuliana sighs, rubbing her cheek against their hands, now. "They don't appreciate you at all... oh, it makes me so angry! But of course, you're right, zhenushka. They don't really matter." Is that what Elisa said? It's what Yuliana's said. Perhaps it will make her happy... she does so wish to bring her wife happiness.
"Even so, you'd make it fair for them... it's so wonderful you'll extend little Leyasha that consideration, even given the circumstances. Since I am quite fond of her, even given her unfortunate existence..." Is that why?
Yuliana tilts her head, against Elisa's skin, gazing up to her so lovingly. "They may not recognise your efforts, Elya, but I see all you have done. Oh, my darling, you're so wonderful." And she is so glad things are getting back to normal, now, after her terrible indiscretion. Making her wife raise her voice just to be heard... Yuliana wants nothing more but to avoid such a thing ever happening again.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa smiles. It is well.
"They don't," Elisa agrees, and perhaps that is indeed enough. It pleases Elisa, to hear Yuliana say it. "They will see in time, or they will not. It is unimportant. Our work is far more vital than their feelings on the matter."
Then, Leina... "She has potential, I think. And you are terribly fond of her. These things, they are enough to make it worthwhile."
"Besides. I gave my word. That is enough, itself."
Yuliana gazes up at her, and Elisa is smiling, to hear her be so wonderful. "...I am glad," she says, "That you see what I do. That satisfies me." She leans forward, to kiss her wife.
Yes. It is well.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And Elisa's smile is worth more than any amount of riches, in this world.
"Yes," she breathes, as Elisa deems their feelings unimportant. "Whether they see or remain blind, we will save them. Nothing is more important than our work... even selfish and capricious as I am, I know this." She nuzzles Elisa's hand, again, as she says: "I am so lucky to have someone so dedicated beside me... oh, it's so easy for me to be distracted by these inconsequential things. Really, I rely on you..."
If not for Elisa, where would she be?
Dead or worse than, surely.
"She does, doesn't she?" Yuliana wonders, on Leina's potential, and equally does not dwell on her. "Yes, you gave your word... ah, only the strongest women can keep every promise they make, without regard for opportune action. You're really something special, Elya..." Yes, she sees what she does, and she admires every action.
Well -- she sees almost every action, at least. But for the way her eyes drift closed, as Elisa leans in, and her heart and lips sing as her wife does her the honour of kissing her. Happily she cleaves to her, soft and adoring, and perhaps things are really back to normal once again.
Since Yuliana always wants to be closer to Elisa, just the same.