2023-07-23: Breaking Bread

• Log: 2023-07-23 Breaking Bread
• Cast: Shinji Ikari, Gridman
• Where: Tsutsujidai
• OOC - IC Date: July 23, UC 0097 (2023)
• Summary: Shinji comes to Tsutsujidai to deliver a letter to Gridman on Misato's behalf--and also to talk to him about where their friendship lies.

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<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        It's been a long time since Shinji's seen Gridman face-to-face... but it's been a lot less than that since they've spoken. When the conflict with Duma erupted in the skies of Tokyo-3, Gridman had come to try to talk both sides into peace, but neither had chosen that. Shinji still has a lot of mixed feelings about it... but Gridman had told him he still considers him one of his best friends. Between that and a recent conversation with Rei, when Misato had mentioned she needed to deliver an official statement to Gridman about what happened, Shinji had volunteered to take it to him.
        
        It's just a letter, signed and sealed in an envelope. But it carries a lot of weight in the pocket of his cargo shorts. Kaworu had offered to come with him, but Shinji had turned him down. It felt like... he ought to see him by himself.
        
        Kaworu had at least given him directions on where in Tsutsujidai Gridman lives these days. When Shinji gets off the shuttle from Orbit Base, he takes out the map and follows its clear, precise instructions to a mansion on the outskirts of town.
        
        He gulps, then knocks on the front door. Gridman knows he's coming--Shinji VERTEXed ahead--but... again, it's been a while. He made the decision to come see him, but that doesn't mean he isn't nervous about it.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Gridman knew this was coming. NERV is too serious an organization to let an ally go against them in such a public way. After Shinji's VERTEX, Gridman found himself dreading the oncoming confrontation even more. Commander Ikari really is a terrible man, to send his own son to deliver some kind of banishment letter to one of his friends...

(At least, Gridman hopes they're still friends.)

Max's home smells like fresh baked bread. The scent floats out to greet Shinji, across a neatly tended lawn. Of the four unusual homes of the Neon Genesis Junior High Students, Max's is the most 'normal'. It's as though someone absorbed a hundred years of homemaking and created an amalgamation of that knowledge into reality.

Shinji knocks. The door opens immediately, revealing the largest of the Hyper Agents. Max towers above Shinji, dressed as ever in his suit.

"Mister Ikari." He greets, face obscured by his mask, but a smile in his tone. "It has been quite some time. Please, make yourself at home."

Leading the way to the kitchen, Max allows Shinji his choice of chairs. Gridman sits at the opposite end of a large table from the doorway -- looking nervous, with his signature wobbly smile. After Shinji takes a seat, Max sets a plate of fresh bread before him, settled on a tray along with containers of butter, jam, and honey. A knife rests to the side of the plate.

"H--hey!" Gridman is presented with his own tray. "Thanks, Max. Um... How are you, Shinji?"

Max nods to Gridman. "I have some tasks to attend to at Aya. If you have need of me, I will return with all speed."

WIth that, the large man walks from the room. The door opens, and closes. All is quiet.

"Max goes all out with the comfort type stuff... I hope you don't mind." Gridman gestures to the bread. "He was baking all morning. He means well, I promise."

Gridman is... nervous. Nervous about what Shinji will tell him, nervous about their friendship... They haven't really talked since Gridman began dating Kaworu and Rei.

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        Ironically, the smell of fresh-baked bread does a lot to calm Shinji's nerves, even though the one who answers is easily the most intimidating of the Neon Genesis Junior High Students. (Well, maybe second-most. Borr exists, and shehethey are more like Asuka than anyone else Shinji knows. Now THAT'S intimidation.)
        
        "Um, hi," Shinji replies, still a little shy despite the delicious smell of bread. He steps into the house, past the threshhold. If the others are keeping their shoes on, he does the same; otherwise, he leaves them at the foyer like Japanese households normally do. "Who baked the bread?" he asks Max as he follows him into the kitchen. He stops at that threshhold--but enters a second later, in time for Max to excuse himself and leave. Shinji blinks at him in his wake, wondering why he was here if he was just going to leave immediately.
        
        Gridman answers that for him, telling him he made the bread. "O-oh. I see." He offers a smile and adds, "It smells really good. I can't wait to try it. Do you--do much? Baking, I mean. Baking is a lot harder than regular cooking. If you mess up even a little, the outcome comes out all wrong... But I kind of like that precision. As long as you follow the recipe, you'll be okay."
        
        Is it nerves that has him babbling? Shinji, realizing this, grabs a couple of slices and spreads them with butter and jam, respectively.
        
        "I'm doing all right. All considered," he adds belatedly. "I'm more worried about you, actually..."
        
        He doesn't need to explain that one, surely. And while that would be a perfect segue into handing over the letter, he opts to take a bite of the buttered bread first.
        
        ...it's delicious! He'll have to ask for the recipe later...

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Max's gambit pays off! Seeing the nervous young pilot grow more at ease, all the early-morning baking is proven worth the effort. While it's obvious Shinji is still anxious, anything that can help him feel calmer will be a service to Gridman in kind.

Shinji is babbling a little, but Gridman doesn't mind. It's just Shinji's way when he's nervous. If anything, it's charming! As Shinji tends to his snack, Gridman does too, opting for butter and honey. As soon as he's finished, the young Hyper Agent takes a huge bite.

"Oh, wow. That's really good... Max has perfected this recipe for sure!" Gridman, seemingly with effort, slows down his chewing. It's important to taste things. "I helped Max a little with the recipe, but I don't know much about baking. The most I've done is make the cookie recipe you gave me a while ago, really!"

Gridman looks a little embarrassed as Shinji expresses his worry. "N--no, I'm totally fine!" Pausing, he winces. "...well, no, that's not true. I'm not doing great, but... It's my own fault, right? I chose to try and protect Duma. I knew this would happen. I just hope I didn't get you guys in trouble... I've been thinking about that a lot."

Another bite of the bread. Somehow, the warmth of comfort of eating makes Gridman's words feel a little less bitter as he speaks them.

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        "Oh yeah... I totally forgot about those cookies. It feels like ages ago..." Shinji offers an awkward but sincere smile, rubbing the back of his head. "They weren't anything special, but... I hope they turned out good for you."
        
        He takes another bite of his bread. It is helping his nerves, and slows his mind down so his anxiety doesn't take control. He chews slowly as Gridman admits he's not okay, that it's his own fault.
        
        "No... we aren't in trouble," he says quietly. "Actually, Misato-san was going to come by to deliver something to you, but I was on my way here, so I said I'd do it... Um, here." He pulls a folded envelope out of his pocket and hands it over to Gridman.
        
        It bears the NERV insignia in the upper lefthand corner, and it hasn't been tampered with. The letter inside states that as long as Gridman chooses to aid and abet an Angel that he's not welcome in the Geofront or on official NERV missions. It doesn't say anything about him coming to Tokyo-3--the Geofront is part of Tokyo-3, but Tokyo-3 is more than the Geofront--and it doesn't say anything about him being under arrest or anything. It seems as though it's more a warning than anything else--maybe because Gridman has been an ally to them in the past.
        
        That's it for the official letter. There's a second, handwritten letter from Misato Katsuragi, separately contained. It reads:
        
        'To Gridman:

        The official letter is just about operations; you're free to hang out with your friends as long as you keep NERV business out of it. I want to make it clear that I don't think you're a bad person, and I'm grateful for the help you've given us up 'til now. However, you lost a lot of our trust when you decided to take the Tenth Angel's side. Maybe you thought you were doing what was right because Duma seemed 'nice,' but as a woman and a human being, I'm telling you right now that just because someone SEEMS nice doesn't mean they ARE nice. That Alexis Kerib, from what I've heard about him, is a prime example.

        If you're still trying to defend the Angel, I'll just leave you with this question: if we hadn't happened to get an Eva to protect us from the Angel's pacification rays, and we'd all ended up under its mind control, what would you have done to protect _us_?

        That's all I have to say.

                --Misato'
        
        Shinji watches Gridman with anxious eyes as he reads. "Um... is everything okay? It's nothing too harsh, is it?" he frets. "I haven't heard anything about it, but I don't really hear a lot about the stuff that goes on over my head..."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"I've made those cookies for a lot of important people to me. Everyone always likes them a whole lot." Gridman's smile now, at least, is genuine and unburdened. Thinking back on those times is comforting. "In a way, you've been there with me every time I've made them for someone! When Akane and Rikka were rescued, I didn't know what to do. All I could think of is bringing them some food. And the first thing that came to mind was your cookies."

Gridman laughs, squeezing his eyes closed in softly-embarrassed thankfulness. "I guess it's kind of a stretch, but... Thank you, Shinji. Because of you, I had a way to help my friends when it really mattered."

Face falling slightly as Shinji hands over the letter, Gridman murmurs, "Thank goodness they weren't upset at you..." His opinion of NERV's fairness is pretty low. Yellow eyes focus in, reading quickly. Gridman reads the official notice once, then twice.

"Whew... That wasn't as bad as I was worried it would be. I wonder why they're going so easy on me? I hope Sigma won't get fired..."

And then, Misato's letter -- Gridman reads this one with more care. He has a lot more respect for Misato, someone he knows, than some faceless NERV executive. He has to admit that while her words sting, they're fair. Once he's done reading it over a second time, Gridman offers both letters to Shinji.

"If you wanna read. It's not a secret or anything." Gridman sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hands -- thankfully managing not to spread any honey on his face. "I feel like even Misato went pretty easy on me... And I know she's right, too. What Duma did was horrible. His plan isn't something anyone can allow. If he'd attacked Tsutsujidai, I would've done the same things you guys did."

And in fact, Gridman did -- despite his conflicted feelings at the time, he tore the wings from the kaiju, Bujack, and destroyed it, ending the sweet dreams Akane granted her world.

"I don't know if, um... Are you allowed to talk about this stuff, Shinji? Since it's a mission or whatever." Gridman says, worriedly. "I don't really know how it all works. If it's okay, I'd really like to talk to you about this. You're, um."

Why is it so much harder to say to Shinji's face? Gridman looks back down at his bread.

"You're one of my best friends. I trust you a lot, and I want to know your opinion. But only if that won't get you in trouble, okay? If that won't work, we can just... talk about other stuff!"

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        For a lot of people? They always like it? Shinji ducks his head, unable to repress a smile. A bit of rosiness rises in his cheeks. It really wasn't a special recipe--he just tweaked a reciple he found online a little bit--but it really does feel good to know that he helped a friend, and a friend's friends, in a roundabout way.
        
        It's strange. Ever since his father praised him, it feels like he's gotten better at accepting other praise in turn.
        
        "You're welcome," he says, quiet but sincere. "I only met Takarada-san once or twice, but she sems nice, and I'm really glad Shinjo-senpai is in a better place now." His smile fades when Gridman accepts the letter. "Misato-san was going to come deliver it herself, I think," he adds. "She acts really casual in her personal life, but she takes her job really seriously, and... she cares about us. About me, and Asuka, and the rest of us Evangelion pilots. I know you must have a bad impression after what happened, but she's a good person."
        
        He can't comment on Sigma. He really doesn't know anything about what's going on with him. Eventually, Gridman finishes reading, and he hands both letters back. He relaxes a bit when Gridman admits that Misato wasn't too tough. "I'm glad," he says quietly. He would hate it if Misato and Gridman hated each other now. He reads over the letters themselves quickly--it really isn't that bad. More like a warning than anything else. Maybe it's because nothing too bad happened as a result of Gridman's interference; maybe it's because Misato was in charge, and she can be tough, but she isn't a hardass.
        
        He hands the letters back. "Um... I don't think I could talk about what NERV is doing about the Tenth Angel, but... I don't see a problem with talking about the Angel itself," he offers. A little pink returns to his face as Gridman again calls him one of his best friends. He hesitates, then says, "Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about it, too. Kaworu-kun's seemed a little down since what happened happened... He hasn't said so, but I think he's been worried about you and Ayanami." He pauses. "And... what Duma did wasn't right! But... I don't think... you were wrong, either," he says awkwardly. "Maybe Misato-san's right about Duma being like Alexis Kerib," and there is a flash of disgusted anger at the mention of the name, "but I didn't really get that sense when I saw Duma in Kamesan Park." He lowers his gaze gloomily. "...But maybe I'm being tricked, too."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

It's sweet to see Shinji smile in such a carefree way. Gridman can't help but brighten up in turn. Things really aren't so bad if they can smile like this, right? With another generous bite of his bread, Gridman listens to his friend.

If he knew Commander Ikari had praised Shinji, would that change Gridman's opinion on him? With the amount of praise Gridman has received from his comrades and friends, it's just what a father should do, right? Why hasn't Commander Ikari been praising Shinji from the start? It remains a mystery...

"Rikka and Akane have been through so much. I'm really proud of them both." Gridman tilts his head as Shinji talks about Misato. Don't they live together, or something? If anyone would know the truth of Misato's heart, it'd be Shinji, then. "I see... I'm really glad you all have her. You need someone on your side with everything you do. If you trust Misato, Shinji, I will too."

Taking the letters back and putting them carefully to the side, Gridman nods. "Misato talked about her experience as a woman. I wonder if women have better instincts for this kind of thing?" Chomp, chomp, on the bread. "Maybe I should ask Akane and Rikka about Duma, too."

Women are very powerful. Could an ability to sense deception be one of their inherent traits? Gridman considers this, chewing thoughtfully.

"That sounds fair. Let me know if I ask too much or anything, okay?" Gridman puts his bread aside. "So, the full story from my side is... Duma has been living in Tsutsujidai for months, which makes him a part of the city. He's practically a citizen, you know? So I need to protect him, like I'd protect any other Repli-Compoid."

Gridman takes a breath. "My brother and I went to talk to Duma after we found all those unconscious people with him. We told him about how NERV wants to kill him, and asked him to leave the Solar System and find a new world where he could live in peace. Duma refused, and showed us his plan. He wants to like... Cover the whole world in his song, and take away humans' ability to fight each other. I guess he views free will as a bad thing, since it causes so much suffering." Gridman looks down. "I kinda get it, I guess? When Bujack was here, and I didn't have to fight.. I was really happy."

"But that's not what humanity wants. People like Asuka, especially, would never accept it. Duma asked Sigma and I to help him keep the world safe, but we had to turn him down." A pause, and then, "It's not that Duma's evil, really! He just doesn't understand. Genuinely, he wants to keep everyone safe. So I thought... Maybe if he came to understand humanity a little better, we could reach an understanding."

As Shinji reassures Gridman, the Hyper Agent smiles weakly. "Thanks, Shinji... I've been doubting myself a lot. I'm sorry to have worried Kaworu. Maybe we're all being tricked, I guess. It's possible. But I really believe what Duma showed me is the truth. He had the chance to kill Sigma and I lots of times and he didn't do a thing to hurt us, even when we told him our allies were going to kill him."

"I asked Kaworu this too." Gridman looks up at Shinji again, his otherworldly yellow eyes serious. "Since you know everything I know now, what do you think the right thing to do is? What would you do, if you were me?"

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        Why indeed? Shinji would love to know the answer to that mystery, but for now, he continues to struggle along.
        
        Shinji relaxes further, breathing a little relieved breath through his smile, when Gridman says he'll trust Misato. She's probably more like a much older big sister than a mom, but... she is a little like family to him. That smile fades about her womanly experience. "I don't know anything about that," he admits. "But then, I'm not a girl. Maybe Ayanami would know..." He trails off; then he shakes his head. "Actually, I think she's too honest to know about that kind of thing."
        
        He does smile a little. "...I asked her how things were going with you and Kaworu-kun. She said she was happy with you two. I'm really glad... She deserves only the best."
        
        But--then Duma, from Gridman's perspective. Shinji nods as he listens. Right... Duma's been there for a while. He knew that already; he already brought up that encounter in Kamesan Park. So it makes sense that Gridman would consider Duma a citizen of the city. His eyes widen when Gridman says he and Sigma had talked to the Angel, though--he'd wondered how he could possibly know what he'd claimed, but...
        
        "Yeah. Asuka... She was so furious when she had her head back. And I knew it wasn't right for her, either, to just... have her anger taken away from her like that," Shinji says quietly. He stares down at his palms. "You can't just... make that decision for someone else. It isn't right."
        
        He looks back up. "So... what you're saying is, you asked Duma to leave the Earth alone, and... he said no? He came to Tokyo-3 to try to brainwash everyone anyway?" His lips thin--but Gridman makes a good point about Duma having had the chance to hurt them and not taking it. Duma could've hurt all of them, a lot; they've had a lot of chances to. But they haven't ever... unless you count the brainwashing stuff. And if you do, then he's hurt people in a big way. He grimaces.
        
        "I... I really don't know. I guess, if you're able to talk to Duma, I'd try to talk to him again and talk him out of his big brainwashing plan. I really don't want to have to fight if I don't have to, but the Angels--they won't stop coming! We don't have any choice but to fight back, because they're trying to kill us!" he bursts out. "If you're right, and Duma really doesn't want to hurt anyone, then--he ought to listen when he's told what he's doing is wrong!"
        
        Shinji heaves out a breath and slumps back in his chair. "...If he and the rest of the Angels could just leave us alone, everything would be fine. But..." He hesitates; Gridman isn't allowed to know about NERV business anymore, so he can't tell him about what Misato showed him in Terminal Dogma. He does look Gridman in the eye, though, expression mournful. "They aren't. Or at least most of them won't. And if they get what they want, it means the end of the world for humanity. Misato-san and Father were saying that the other day, and they weren't kidding around. So... if Duma kept refusing to listen... I guess--"
        
        But he hesitates. I guess you'd have to kill him is such a heartless thing to say. Couldn't there be a better way, like Gridman and Sigma were trying to find? "Do you think maybe you could force him to run away?" he suggests. "He seems to hate fighting too, so if... maybe you... ran him out of the solar system, or something like that... Maybe that would work?"

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"Rei is very honest, even if she's not open about her feelings all the time. You just have to know which signs to look for." Gridman nods, and then blushes brightly as Shinji says Rei is happy. "A--ah, oh... I'm -- wow!" He laughs. "I'm so happy to hear that! I always try my best, but -- it's not like you can really ask I guess? So--!"

Gridman laughs again, this time at his own stammering. "Thanks, Shinji. Hey, how are things with you and Asuka, by the way?"

"Asuka was a main reason I realized how awful Bujack was, to be honest. She changed so much. It wasn't like she was miserable or anything, but it was obvious she wasn't acting like her true self." Gridman admits. It's clear he doesn't hold any ill will toward Asuka for the whole stabbing thing. "The dream had to end. It wasn't right. I'm still.. sorry you had to experience all that, Shinji. For you, and for her. It must've been awful having to watch her change."

Shinji starts to get emotional as Gridman tells him about his experiences with Duma. It's surprising. Outside of battle, this is the most Gridman has seen his friend emote.

"Yeah. You've got it right." Gridman says, voice grim. "I have no excuse for Duma's behavior. Even if he wanted to help, he'd been told it wasn't what humanity wanted or needed, and he brainwashed everyone anyway. As for talking to him, um... I'd like to. Both Sigma and I were planning on it, but we have no idea where Duma went. And, he made his song stronger. This time, Duma was able to knock out me, Vit, Calibur, and Sigma with no effort at all."

Shinji actually raises his voice, and Gridman blinks -- once, then twice. "Shinji..." Scooting his chair closer, Gridman puts a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could fight in your place. I promise, if I could, I would! The Angels are terrifying, and I don't understand them, but I don't want to just... kill blindly because of what species something is. But you're right. You're right about everything."

Gridman gives Shinji a sympathetic look as he slumps. "I'm sorry, I wish we could just chase him off, but I'm pretty sure he'd just brainwash us as soon as he saw us. Or teleport us away like he did to me last time. Even though he doesn't show it with violence, I think Duma is really strong."

"Where are the Angels even coming from? Is there some kind of Angel government we could negotiate with..? I don't know, that's dumb." Gridman looks sorrowful too. Why is this a problem with no peaceful solution? "I... wonder if, maybe an actual human talked to Duma, if things would go differently. Sigma and I are outsiders, too. Maybe he thinks we don't know what we're talking about. But I can't ask anyone to do that, it's way too dangerous."

Managing a wobbly smile, Gridman squeezes Shinji's shoulder, then lets go. "Thank you for trying to find a kind solution. It really makes me feel better. I've been wondering if I'm crazy, trying to save an Angel. I've fought a bunch of them with you now, I know what they're capable of, and still... I want to believe there's something better. Both for the Angels, and for humanity. I want to believe we can understand each other."

"Oh, and..." Gridman brings a hand up to his lips. "I think it'd be best if you didn't tell NERV, but if any of you are ever in trouble, I'll be there. Just contact me, and I'll fight by your side. No matter where you are, or what you're fighting. You, Kaworu, Rei... Even Asuka and Mari. You're all really important to me, and I'll fight to keep you safe."

Besides, what's Commander Ikari going to do? Arrest a 70 meter Giant of Light and his super-human comrades?

...probably something way worse than that, Gridman!

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        "They're not bad," Shinji replies, smiling to see Gridman so thrilled to hear about what Rei had said. It's true that Rei is subdued, so it's not a surprise to hear that Gridman didn't really know. ...He doesn't ask how things are going with Gridman and Kaworu. Somehow, the thought of it just makes something in his chest clench up painfully. "We haven't had the time to go on a date lately, but... I'm going to ask her out soon. I don't want to keep her waiting around."
        
        He'd just been talking to Mari about that the other day--that's why he's able to say so with such confidence, rather divorced from his usual. He does need to figure out a specific activity, but he does have a good idea of what to do in general.
        
        He does nod soberly with regards to Bujack. "Yeah. I know Shinjo-senpai was just trying to make people understand her, but... I think she had the same misunderstanding Duma did. I wonder..." He pauses. "I wonder if that's where Duma got the idea? He was around back then... He must've seen what she was doing." He pauses again. "...I don't think I'd tell her about that if so. She might think it was her fault... and I don't think anyone could anticipate that an Angel would've seen all that and decided to do the same thing."
        
        He grimaces a little when Gridman stares at him for raising his voice. "S-sorry," he adds. "It's just--I'm not sure about Asuka or Kaworu-kun, and Makinami-san seems to enjoy battle, but if the Angels weren't around, then Ayanami wouldn't have to suffer..." He looks away. "...but then, we're all suffering in our own ways."
        
        ...
        
        "...maybe not Makinami-san," he admits, "but I'm honestly not sure about her."
        
        It's chilling to think that Gridman's right and Duma is really strong--too strong to beat without an Evangelion--even though they've never emitted that iconic cross beam. "...It really is an Angel, isn't it," he says quietly. "Without the Evas' A.T. Fields, you can't overcome it..." He abruptly looks wretched. "I'm so sorry, Gridman. I'd offer to help, but--there's no way I could get permission to deploy Unit-01 to just run Duma off. And even if I did..."
        
        His gaze falls towards the letters. Even if he did, Gridman very explicitly is not welcome at a NERV operation.
        
        "I don't know about that. I don't think anyone in NERV knows," he admits, of where Angels come from. "Kaworu-kun and Makinami-san put on a class a year ago about Angels and what we knew about them back then, and they taught us that Angels caused Second Impact, but not where they came from or why they're here. Oh--maybe I shouldn't have told you that," he frets. "Um, I don't think there's an Angel government. Until Duma, they never even came at the same time. Just... one by one, one after the other."
        
        He falls silent at Gridman's suggestion, that maybe Duma thinks since they aren't humans they don't know what they're talking about. But would it be safe to bring a human to talk ("talk") to an Angel? Just being exposed to it put so many people in danger--all of the people who Duma had hypnotized into joining them on the other half of the Tsutsujidai PLANT had to be treated for mental contamination, regardless of what physical condition they were in. It's like Gridman says: it's too dangerous.
        
        He rubs the back of his head when Gridman thanks him. "I-it's no big deal... I'm not sure there is a solution. I just... it means a lot to you, so I didn't want to just... write it off as impossible. If chasing him off wouldn't work, though, I don't have any other ideas..." He smiles a little. "I like that you're trying to find a peaceful way, though. I don't think Father or Misato-san are wrong, but... I don't think you're wrong, either." A sigh. "I wish we had some way of just talking to him normally. Even if it was just one person who could."
        
                ---
        
        Atop his apartment's rooftop, at the edge of the fortress city, Kaworu gazes up at the stars with a distant smile.
        
                ---
        
        "Gridman... Thanks," Shinji replies, smiling back at his offer. Silently, he won't take him up on it. He knows Gridman means it, but that's exactly why--Shinji doesn't want him getting in trouble coming to his aid. He just isn't worth it. But he does genuinely appreciate the offer. "I'm glad you're not mad at Asuka," he says instead. "If she really wanted to hurt you, she'd have done a lot worse than stabbing you in the leg... but that's already pretty bad, so I wouldn't be surprised if you were."
        
        But even that's an awkward topic, something that becomes more apparent to Shinji the more he talks about it, so he looks down at the bread. "Um, by the way... do you have the recipe for this bread? I'd like to try it out for myself."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"If you ever want to do a double-date together, I'm game!" Gridman offers. "Akane and Rikka have gone on double-dates before, they sound fun. Uh, I'm not sure how Asuka would react to me, though... Well, if she ever changes her mind, I think it'd be fun."

"Oh yeah." Gridman shakes his head. "I definitely won't tell Akane about that -- and I'd be grateful if you didn't, either. She takes this kind of thing really hard. Akane's strong, but she doesn't need any extra burdens right now."

Gridman smiles softly when Shinji apologizes. "No, it's okay. I think it's important to express yourself. It makes me feel like you trust me. But, Rei is suffering? I know you all go through a lot when you pilot, but, is something hurting her in particular? If that's true, then --"

Then what? Gridman clenches his hands in his lap. Maybe it'd be best if he doesn't have to find out just what he would do if he finds out the girl he loves is suffering.

For the moment, the Hyper Agent tries to put it out of his mind. "Mari is pretty unique. I don't think I'm sure about anything with her, either. But at least she's not upset when she's in battle, I guess? I know I wish I didn't have to fight."

"Yeah..." Shinji, again, displays just how kind he truly is. It makes Gridman's heart feel just a bit lighter. "Thank you, Shinji. I won't ask that of you, but it makes me happy to know you want to. Um, it's alright! Commander Ikari mentioned Second Impact during the fight, he told me the Angels caused it. So I already knew that part!"

Hopefully that's enough to reassure Shinji. It's too bad there isn't an Angel government, but it was kind of a long shot to begin with. The Angels remind Gridman even more of kaiju, just appearing one after the other, with no way to negotiate.

"I think you're right." All the same, Shinji is given another smile. "But I'm still grateful for you. It's really nice knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way. Sigma, my brother, can communicate with Duma, but since even he's in danger from Duma's song now, I just... I can't risk it. I'm not willing to lose Sigma, even if it means Duma has to die."

Gridman shrugs easily. What's a little stabbing between friends, really? "Of course, Shinji. Asuka's tough, but she's not a bad person. I respect her a lot. A--and yeah, she could've done... so much worse." A little shudder. "Even to someone like me. It was hard to see a knife like that again, but I'm just fine. Damage doesn't carry over between my bodies."

"Oh! Sure, Max has a big recipe book. Wanna look through it?" Gridman stands, walking to a kitchen cupboard and retrieving a fairly sizable book. Max has huge hands, after all. "Here, I think it's on this page..."

Walking back to Shinji, Gridman scoots in close to his friend, flipping through the pages. Notably, Shinji's cookies are one of the first recipes collected, written down carefully in Gridman's messy handwriting.

<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.

        It takes Shinji aback when Gridman asks if something's hurting Rei in particular. He's just so used to a general sort of suffering associated with piloting Evas that he took it for granted. But... "I--actually, maybe there isn't," he admits. "Ayanami told me once that piloting her Eva is her bond with everyone. But she's so kind and gentle, I always sort of had it in the back of my mind that..."
        
        He looks down at his hands. "Maybe it's just me that..."
        
        That hates piloting, he's about to say. But does he still hate piloting that much? He's gotten used to it; most importantly, his father praised him.
        
        "Sorry," he adds with an awkward smile, rubbing the back of his head. "I mean more that we've all got our own issues. But we've all been getting better, I think. Ayanami's more expressive, Asuka's not as angry, Kaworu-kun and I were assigned to pilot Unit-01 together, Makinami-san--well, she's always been happy, so I guess she's fine... and even Father praised me recently." He practically glows at that one. "Not everything's great, but... not everything's so bad, either. I guess I should work on talking more positively, huh?"
        
        And Gridman really doesn't seem to mind. That's a huge relief. Shinji's not sure that Asuka's gotten over her anger at Gridman, but maybe that's for the two of them to work out. He nods once. It's enough that Gridman wasn't seriously hurt.
        
        After that, they'll talk about baking, and food, Shinji's found, is a much happier topic in general.