2023-07-16: Fist Bump
- Cast: Sousuke Sagara, Gridman
- Where: Junk Shop Aya
- Date: U.C. 0097 07 16
- Summary: After Gridman expressed some concern about Sousuke's past at a previous meeting, Sousuke decides to use some spare time to come speak with the young man who has changed so much. They bond over the two great preoccupations of teenagers of the Universal Century: Complex ethical questions, and how great girls are.
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
A little while ago, Gridman and Sousuke Sagara spoke at the gathering to discuss the matter of what had been done to Akane and Rikka Takarada on the Garuda, and to plan for the recovery of Leina Ashta. That situation resolved itself, blessedly, about as well as could be expected, but Sousuke's obvious familiarity with truly grisly realities had led Gridman to invite the young soldier to speak, later.
Then, of course, the Tuatha de Danaan had been hijacked, and Sousuke had been forced to once again square off against the terrorist devil who had been haunting him for the last few years. And then there was aftermath, and then there was finals. Really, taking a trip away from it all is a decent idea. So Sousuke reached out to...Gridman. It's still a strange thought for him, the boy he knew as Yuta changing so. But he lives a life where changing identities is a common enough thing.
The result of which is an agreement to meet right where they met the first time - at Aya's multipurpose storefront/cafe. Sousuke has arrived in a brown tee shirt and olive cargo pants, a rare casual look from the permanently-on student soldier. Recalling that Aya's been up to some changes of schedule and...experience, lately, he cranes his head around a little as he walks in.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
A bell jingles above Aya's door as Sousuke walks in, drawing the gaze of both an giant masked man behind the counter, and a young, short redhead sweeping around the crowded shelves.
"Welcome to-- Oh! Sousuke!" Gridman leans his broom against a wall, smiling as he appraoches the other young man. "It's great to see you! Are you here to shop, or..?"
Compared to Sousuke's desert-toned casual clothing, Gridman is a beacon of color. A bright red tank top is accompanied by navy blue basketball shorts, bookended by brilliant red shoes. Despite the friendly smile on the Hyper Agent's face, he has an odd energy about him. Somewhere between exhaustion and anxiety, perhaps.
"Mister Sagara." Max, behind the counter, greets. He wears an apron over a finely-tailored suit, washing dishes with his enormous hands."Would you care for any refreshment? It shall be our treat."
Gridman nods at his comrade. "Yeah, great idea! I can go grab Rikka or Mrs. Takrada if you want to find anything in particular, but otherwise we can hang out, if you want!"
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
"Actually," Sousuke says, "I had thought to see you." As usual, Sousuke's face is serious, steel gray eyes finding first Max, then Gridman, and nodding to each. "Much has transpired, and..." Hm. Hm. ....hm. "I thought it would be nice," he says, ending the sentence like he's as confused as anyone by the sentiment.
He does step in, saying, "A coffee is fine." He's not a big drinker, but he's met his fair share of men with strong opinions on the other vice of choice among soldiers: Caffeine. He makes his way to the seats, sets himself down, and says, "Otherwise...yes. I believe the request of choice for this purpose would be 'snacks'?"
Well that's an odd way to put that - but Sousuke has always been...like, this. It's been over a year since the first time he walked through Aya's doors, hoping to tutor the young Gridman Alliance on how to fight safely in mobile weapons. They don't need that kind of advice anymore, of course. Still, between those few meetings and GUTS, his demeanor is familiar enough.
Though the way he looks across Gridman's youthful face.... "Has something occurred?" he asks. He has been a bit busy with his makeup exams and hasn't quite put two and two together regarding the battle with Duma yet.
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Gridman looks happy that Sousuke's thought of him, smiling a little more brightly. "Hey, thanks! It's definitely like. We can sit on the couch, if you'd like. It's the most comfortable."
Leading the way to the couch, Gridman sits down at one end, leaving plenty of room for Sousuke to choose how closely he wants to place himself to the other young man. Max nods to their guest and begins to make a coffee -- he can't imagine Sousuke is big on additional flavors, so something plain will do.
"Snacks are a great idea." Gridman doesn't mind Sousuke's... Sousuke-ness. The Hyper Agent has his own little quirks, after all. Who is he to judge? "The cake here is the best anywhere, but I've got some casual stuff..."
A red backpack, leaning against the couch, is rummaged through. Gridman pulls out several snack-sized bags of chips, along with two bottles of ramune. "I'm always hungry lately, so I bring a lot of snacks around. I hope that's not weird."
Weird or not, Gridman takes one of the bags of chips and tears it open, chomping away. "Max thinks transforming wears out this body, so I'm trying to eat enough to lessen the strain. I don't know if that's actually going to make a difference, though."
"O--oh, uh!" Gridman glances away when Sousuke asks if something has occurred. "I don't want to make this all about me, but... Yeah. I kinda... got in a fight with all of NERV. And, you know, my partners are both in NERV, so things are pretty rough."
Max makes an almost-word of agreement, more a deep rumble. The coffee-maker whirrs away.
"But I want to hear how you're doing, too. I've heard stuff has been rough for you guys. I'm sorry I wasn't there." Gridman adds, quickly.
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
Sousuke obligingly follows to the couch. Despite his occasional appearances, the young man does know how to navigate a situation this social, and sits midway down the couch. No need to separate completely! "Thank you," he offers Max. He guessed right: "Black is fine." He's told that it's the best way to engage with a proper coffee anyway. Whether he has the taster's instincts to actually get anything out of that, well. ...no, the answer's no. But he'll try.
Sousuke sits straight while Gridman pulls out a supply of chips and such. "I see," he says, and accepts on of the offered bags. "That's a distinct possibility. Many more things than simply physical exertion can trigger hunger sensations. It's important to keep your body well supplied."
He nods quietly as Gridman admits to the trouble he's having. "I see," he says, slowly. "I gather it's unpleasant, when real-world concerns get in the way of a relationship. I have..." ...His own lips tug up a little, a smile despite himself at the thought of his own girlfriends, but what he says is, "only some, experience in the field, so I'm not sure I'd be of much help on resolving things with your partners. You're here, so has the issue with NERV has been resolved?"
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Pleased to have guessed correctly, Max brings the coffee to Sousuke, complete with a custom 'Aya' themed disposable insulator sleeve. "I hope you enjoy, young man. Please let me know if there is anything else you would enjoy."
Max makes his way back behind the counter. Busying himself with the dishes once more in an attempt to give the two young men some privacy... It's pretty clear he's still listening. Oh well. The Neon Genesis Junior High Students are literally parts of Gridman, after all. It's not as though they keep anything from one another.
"Eating still feels a little strange. I used to try and eat food as quickly as possible to get it over with, but a friend told me I should slow down and enjoy it." Gridman chomps down another few chips, then smiles. "So I'm trying to honor that. I've started to really like a few things. I guess it's working!"
Sousuke talks about things like eating in such a clinical way. Maybe he needs to slow down and experience food as well? "Do you have any favorite foods, Sousuke?"
"Yeah..." Gridman trails off, listening to Sousuke. But, at the news the other young man has some experience, he perks up. "Oh? Do you have a partner now?" Gridman's smile turns a little teasing -- but still friendly and warm. "I never thought you'd be the type, Sousuke! Maybe you've secretly been a ladies' man all this time?"
As for Gridman's own troubles... "Well, uh. It's a little complicated. There's this Angel -- and I know most angels are bad, but this one's different -- who was staying in Tsutsujidai. It turns out he didn't want to hurt anyone, he was just trying to help. I don't know if you remember the kaiju Bujack?"
"He's like that, Duma just wants to help humanity live in peace. But he doesn't understand that you can't just take people's free will away. He's like a child." Gridman sighs. "So my brother and I tried to talk him down. But... he went and attacked Tokyo-3 anyway. Sigma and I went out to try and get him to leave, and protect him, but..."
Flop. Gridman leans back against the couch, slumping his shoulders. "It turned into a huge fight. My girlfriend wound up shooting me, by accident I think. And another girl stabbed me. After all that, Duma refused to leave until everyone shot him, and he still isn't listening when we tell him what he's doing is wrong. I feel like I ruined my relationships and friendships for nothing."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
Sousuke nods his gratitude to Max and lets the coffee sit to cool for a moment, listening to Gridman's thoughts. "I have been in survival situations for many years, so I also became accustomed to simply eating anything in front of me as quickly as possible. I've tended to prefer Calorie Marks, smoked sausages, boiled vegetables...staples, that keep preserved for long periods." Again, that fond smile. "It seems this is unusual. A friend, Shelby, slaps it out of my hand if she sees it. Usually right before stomping off to the kitchen." He doesn't laugh, though there's a sound in his throat that might be the start of a chuckle. "Lately I've become fond of Kaname's curry, though," he admits, and there's the blush.
Even Gridman's teasing him!! This is the worst!! He blushes even more, looking just a bit at a loss. "My colleague Kurz used to tease me like that," he admits. "But when he found out I'd started actually dating Kaname he got jealous, instead. It seems I have a certain appeal?"
He has no idea what to do with the mere concept of people liking him, let alone it actually maybe being kind of true.
Sousuke was not badly hit by Bujack, but he remembers the writeups. He nods slowly. He simply listens to Gridman's position and troubles, and now moves to sip his coffee, thinking. When Gridman finishes, Sousuke leans back against the couch, coffee back on the table and his chin cupped in curled fingers. "You wished to shield a potential innocent who was merely using power unwisely. But, the people of Tokyo-3 are entitled to defnd themselves." Hm."
He looks to Gridman, his gaze serious, thoughtful, but not at all accusing. "Ultimately," he says, "when power collides with power, conflict is born. Choosing to bring your strength to bear on the situation did create the result. And, sometimes, in conflict, misalignments of loyalties can lead to tragedies."
Hm.
"I cannot assure you you were right, or even wrong, I think. The wars against kaiju are largely a conflict I have left to specialists, aside from battles in support of you and the Gridman Alliance. I don't quite have the sense for what an Angel might think. I think..."
He considers again, for a long moment.
"I think it is proper to use your power for what you believe you must," he finally says. "But you must bear in mind the others' thoughts, too. If their home is assaulted by what amounts to a psychic weapon...then they have no choice but to fight to save their lives, don't they?"
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
"That sounds really intense..." Gridman looks both impressed and a little worried at Sousuke's choice of diet. But then, Sousuke almost-laughs, and all is well again. "But it sounds like you have someone determined to expand your palette! Curry is great, too."
Not just an almost-laugh, but a blush? Gridman's brilliant yellow eyes blink in surprise. Once, then twice. "Woah, congratulations, dude!"
Gridman doesn't really know Kaname, but anyone Sousuke talks about this sweetly must be pretty great. Extending his fist, he offers the other young man a fist bump.
"Girls are pretty great, right? I know whenever Rei makes anything, it's the best food I've ever tasted. And if you praise her for it, she gets this tiny little smile." Gridman gives a bright, fond smile of his own. "You've definitely got an appeal, though, don't cut yourself short! You've got that 'strong, silent type' aesthetic. People love that kind of thing!"
And, really, looking at Sousuke... He's definitely handsome. Gridman nods to himself. It's good Sousuke is discovering confidence in himself in new areas. Surely all that war-training didn't cover having a positive body-image.
Soon enough, the conversation returns to more dire matters, and Gridman takes a break to open his ramune. Drinking it as Sousuke speaks, the young Hyper Agent is attentive.
"Yeah, what Duma did was wrong, without a doubt. I didn't want him to... succeed, or anything." Gridman lowers the bottle, tapping it to send the marble trapped within rolling around wildly. "I guess I'm sensitive to that kind of thing, after... All the stuff we've been through here in Tsutsujidai."
Sousuke's words make sense. Gridman nods. "Yeah... yeah. They weren't wrong to fight. I don't think I was wrong to try and defend Duma. It's wrong to judge someone based on what they are. But how far does that sort of kindness go? When someone is attacking others, even for mistaken reasons... You have to stop them. But do you have to kill them?"
"That's what I was so worked up about. Commander Ikari wasn't willing to give Duma a chance at all, he just ordered everyone to kill him. But, Duma wasn't willing to listen either." Gridman sighs. The marble in his ramune bottle comes to a halt. "Is there even a way to resolve that kind of situation..?"
A moment of quiet, and then Gridman looks away. His eyes land on Max, still dutifully washing Aya's dishes.
"I know I'm an outsider to all of this. Of everyone, I certainly don't have the right to make decisions for humanity. I guess I thought... if NERV could forgive Duma, then maybe..."
Gridman laughs nervously, scratching at the side of his cheek. "Nah, that's dumb, sorry."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
It takes Sousuke a second to figure out the fist motion, and then he navigates it by tapping knuckles uncertainly. You'll have to forgive the boy, they hadn't invented fistbumps before he was published.
What a strange question, and yet...he can only nod, with a timid but true smile. If Onodera asked him that, he'd have no idea what to do, but Gridman's excitement carries him through. "Yes," he agrees, and thinks of the way Kaname hums when she cooks. "They really are. Kaname and I come from such different worlds, and I've struggled to fit in. But she's been proactive in keeping me in line." Sometimes via suplex. "And when she feels like she's gone too far, she comes over soon after with a huge helping of food." He stops, and coughs, struggling to hide a smile. Surprised to hear himself speaking so freely. "...I'm very lucky," is what he finally says, a little distant, as if the thought doesn't quite make sense in the world he understands.
Admittedly, war training didn't leave him much room to develop a self image at all, which is part of the problem. He's coming around...slowly but surely, he is.
As for the matter of Duma...Sousuke can only nod. "My understanding is Angels are uniquely hostile, even among kaiju. Asking to spare one is a tall ask. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, I believe the saying goes." ...hm.
His eyes drift to the marble in Gridman's ramune, thinking, and then back up to the boy. "Tragic though it is...the method to resolve that sort of situation is conflict," he says. "It isn't foolish to wish for peace, but...when two sides will not yield, and must oppose one another..."
... "Yes," he says, with the calm of someone who has walked with death for his entire life. "At that point, death is all but certain. Something must yield."
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
The fist bump, if tentative, is successful. This completes a sacred bond of masculine friendship, strengthening the bond between both young men. Though their relationship may have been forged in battle, it has now been tempered in civilian understanding.
...or something, anyway. Max's thoughts are an enigma at the best of times. Though his mask obscures most of his face, there's a smile in the enormous Hyper Agent's eyes. It's good to see Gridman making friends of his own accord.
"I totally get that feeling. I'm literally from another world, after all!" Gridman laughs. "And both Rei and Kaworu are pretty different, you know? In the best of ways. We've experienced so many 'firsts' together, like going to a movie theater, or singing karaoke..."
Sousuke needing someone to keep him in line... If it was anyone else, Gridman would be worried, but he can kind of get it in this case. He remembers the stir the other man made during his prom arrival, after all. Kaname has her work cut out for her, but something in the Hyper Agent's heart gives him a good feeling about their future.
"She sounds really great." Gridman says, earnestly. "I'd love to try her food sometime, too! It sounds like..." He looks a little shy, then, but maintains eye contact. "I'm sorry if this is too much, but, it seems like you've been through a lot, Sousuke. You deserve to experience love and care like this, I think. You've fought really hard, haven't you? And you'll probably keep fighting for a long time..."
A deep breath. It's a little embarrassing to be so open... But!
"Yeah, you deserve happiness!" Gridman grins. "No matter what happened in the past, or what happens in the future, you should chase what makes your heart sing! And I think you've found that. I'll be cheering you both on, all the way!"
"Everyone deserves happiness, I think. Even Angels. We've had to kill so many of them, and it's so awful every time." That grin fades, and the Hyper Agent looks down at his ramune again. "I told Asuka someone has to say no. To be the first one to refuse to keep hurting others."
Gridman looks rueful. "...then she stabbed me. I don't really blame her. I was in the way of her mission, and she gets pretty intense about that stuff. It's not like I have any proof, like you said. Just me and Sigma's word that Duma is different."
Golden eyes sharpen. Gridman is nowhere near the warrior Sousuke is, but he is, in some senses, a living weapon. He can put his heart aside, at least momentarily. "Sousuke. If you were in my place, believing in Duma, but stuck unable to convince him... What would you do? Would you defend him still? Would you help the NERV pilots kill him?"
"Or maybe there's a third option I can't see." Gridman shrugs helplessly. "I don't know."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
It's nice, at least. It reminds him of the night he bonded with Shinji Kazama, his friend at school. Fortunately, a less risky situation.
Hm...Sousuke doesn't smile, often, but he's got something like one now as he reaches for his coffee again. Gridman guesses that Sousuke has fought for a long time. "I've been on battlefields most of my life," he says, earnestly. It's no secret. It's part of his school cover, to say nothing of the harsh realities of it. "From my very first memories, I was in the thick of war."
Rather than traumatized or troubled, he matches Gridman's earnest gaze. "Much like yourself, as I understand it. The expectations of people at peace are foreign, so often. But I find increasingly that it is remarkable to be part of, as well. And somehow, now I too have two women who favor me regardless of my difficulties." Gridman had mentioned two partners; Sousuke feels less anxious about mentioning his own arrangement in the face of that. "Is this happiness....perhaps, then," he muses, and drinks.
Hm. He listens to Gridman recount the story of how it all went down...and asks his question.
"Ideally, you'd have a commander to tell you that," is his first note. "Decisions like that...there's a reason militaries are built as they are. Difficult, even traumatic, decisions must be made. Asking soldiers in the thick of it to make such difficult decisions with only the information in front of them is often disastrous. Thus, the fighters of NERV defer to Commander Ikari's decision. But to answer your question..."
"I would do my best to convey that continuing will lead to death. And then I believe I would ask to be pulled from the operation. Or, I suppose, in your case, simply not show up."
"It is...tragic, perhaps. But your obligation to protect him ends when he refuses to stop after being warned. That, too, is respecting freedom, isn't it?"
<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.
Gridman has been rewarded with so many rare smiles from so many of his companions. It's something he cherishes, and Sousuke's almost-smile is no exception.
"I'm sorry." Gridman offers, though it feels woefully inadequate. "I hope you get to change that, if you want it to change. I can understand what you mean, a little, but... It's obviously not the same. Hey, um. If you ever need help, we've got you."
Max nods, now having moved to wipe down the cafe's oven.
"Battles, or civilian stuff. We'll be there. I'm not a pro at any of it, but I'll do my best!" Gridman smiles. "Just like you've been there for Tsutsujidai in the past."
Sousuke has two girlfriends... Amazing. Gridman, obviously not finding this strange, still has a look of something close to awe. "It sounds like happiness to me. Being loved even when you're difficult is the best feeling. Kaworu and Rei have always been so patient with me. I hope that isn't going to change."
"A commander..." Gridman looks rueful. "I guess that'd be me, realistically. The Neon Genesis Junior High Students are, um, at my command..?"
Max nods again.
"I don't really like thinking of it that way, though. We're a family! But if someone has to make a decision, I guess that'd be me. It makes sense, asking someone to fight and figure stuff out at the same time isn't fair." The Hyper Agent's look turns a little sour. "Ugh, I don't want to be anything like Commaner Ikari..."
Golden eyes, soft, despite Gridman's best efforts, shimmer with light as Gridman takes in Sousuke's words. Leaving Duma to his fate... Asuka did tell Gridman not to interfere with Angel operations anymore. And Gridman and Sigma both have offered the best advice they have to the Angel. If Duma chooses to attack a human city again, knowing how humanity feels about his plan...
"That... makes sense. I don't know what else I could do. I could never fight Kaworu or Rei. I couldn't even fight Asuka."
Shoulders slumping once again, Gridman leans forward, running his hands through his hair. Sousuke's words are logical, no matter how much they sting to hear. What is the endpoint of Gridman fighting to protect Duma, if Duma keeps attacking humanity?
Something clicks into place in Gridman's heart. Duma isn't Akane. Akane was being manipulated and used. Duma is acting of his own free will. Just like Gridman couldn't force Akane to accept help and love, he can't force Duma to do the right thing.
"You're right, Sousuke." Gridman straightens up, his eyes sorrowful. "I've done all I can. I won't watch Duma destroy himself. Thank you -- I don't think I would've realized this if you hadn't said it." A little, self-depricating laugh. "I guess I'm not cut out for the whole 'commander' thing."
Silence stretches on for a moment, during which Gridman's eyes grow misty, and he blinks rapidly. Max attempts to catch Sousuke's eye, giving him a grateful nod, should he be successful.
"A--anyway, haha.. I said I didn't want this to be all about me! So why don't you tell me about your girls?" Gridman works up a smile. There'll be time later to mourn Duma's decisions. No reason to waste time with his friend. "They both sound really cool, especially if they've caught your eye!"
Hopefully, this will mark a turn in the conversation toward sweeter, more 'normal' topics. Though both young men are hardly normal, perhaps their varying other-ness will allow them to share a common language of understanding.
In any case, Gridman's burdens are greatly lightened after sharing them with Sousuke. This is a kindness that will not be forgotten.