2023-06-04: A Contrast of Care
- Cast: Banagher Links, Suberoa Zinnerman
- Where: The Garencieres Junior - Banagher's Quarters
- Date: U.C. 0097 06 04
- Summary: After Banagher's harrowing experience aboard the Vist Foundation's Garuda, Captain Zinnerman visits the young man, to try and get a sense for his emotional state and offer comfort. In the warm light, hurts are addressed, and determination is renewed.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
It feels good to have a hoodie on again.
Banagher lays atop the covers of the bed in his brand new quarters aboard the Garencieres Junior. They're nice. Not as fancy as the Ra Mari II's, and still missing the home-like feeling of the first Garencieres, but...
Golden eyes close. Banagher curls up a little more tightly.
This is so much better than where he's been. Zinnerman sent Banagher and Audrey to the ship's sickbay as soon as they came aboard. Blessedly, Audrey was physically unharmed. Banagher has quite a few tazer burns and bruises, but most of those are what he would consider 'self-inflicted'. The most obvious injury is a recently-dislocated thumb, but even that's barely bothering him anymore. He's fine.
The young pilot can't bring himself to actually get under the covers or settle in. The lights aren't even turned on. Why should he get to be comfortable when Leina is still suffering? Again and again, the battle plays out in his mind. The Banshee falling into the ocean. Leina's despair.
"Audrey, hang on." Banagher had said, through gritted teeth, sending the Unicorn plunging after her sister.
Crashing down through the waves, the Beast of Possibility searched until she ran out of fuel and Banagher was forced to radio Zinnerman for help. By the point, Char was long gone, and so was the Banshee.
Banagher hasn't said much since then. He hasn't left Audrey's side, save when the young woman is able to get to sleep, and even then, Haro watches over her.
The one thing keeping him going is the knowledge Leina is alive. Somehow, their bond has grown more powerful, and Banagher can sense her alive, if still drowning in despair. It hurts him, but he clings to the sensation. Again and again, he's tried to reach out to her, to find her -- but to no avail. The most Banagher can tell is simply, and only, that she still lives.
Numb to his own feelings, the young pilot of the Unicorn lays in silence. His uninjured thumb rubs back and forth on the cuff of his hoodie.
<Pose Tracker> Suberoa Zinnerman has posed.
A smooth operation is often an incomplete one, in Suberoa Zinnerman's experience. The majority of the Garuda's scientific staff escaped without being captured, most notably the head of their laboratory. The computers had been scrambled and they'd only managed to recover fragments of the lab work; basically useless. Even the primary objective - Recovery of all the Vist Foundation's prisoners - was only partially complete, with Leina Ashta still in the wind after losing control of the Banshee and plummeting out of the combat zone.
Nevertheless: Spirits are high on the newfledged Garencieres Junior. Despite the only partial-at-best success of their operation, they have proven that the Vists are not invulnerable. It might have taken a great deal of luck, and the fact that the Foundation's other prisoners were far less agreeable to their situation than the Dakar combat logs had indicated and were already making their move... but it is like they have come up for air. Seeing the crew again, feeling their warmth at his safe return and revitalised, has probably been a buouyant for Banagher... but one man has yet to approach him - until now.
The door to his quarters chimes. "Banagher," comes the gruff voice of Zinnerman. "May I come in?"
When he steps inside the chamber, he frowns, and reaches over to the light switch, bringing the illumination in the room up to a warm, tolerable level. No reason for this to feel like an interrogation chamber, the poor boy's had enough of that. He's carrying something under his arm - a box of some kind? "Ivan recommended somebody should talk to you," he explains. "You and Mineva have been through a tremendous amount."
The bed shifts, as the Captain settles his weight at the foot of the cot. "You don't have to talk about what you went through if you don't want to, but it might help you deal with what you're feeling if you do. If not, I can just stay here to keep you company."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Seeing the Garencieres crew again felt like a miracle to Banagher. Tomura hugged the young man hard enough to nearly knock Banagher off his feet -- managing to earn a now rarely-seen smile.
"Thank you, you saved us." Banagher managed, still in his prison scrubs. Had he piloted the Unicorn -- including opening the cockpit to grab Mineva -- without a normal suit, or so much as a helmet? "I -- can't ever repay you all. How did you know when to arrive? Were you working with that Gridknight guy?"
Being surrounded by people he loves in good spirits has been a good thing for Banagher, reminding him of what they did accomplish. Not only saving the other girls, but taking away one of Vist's major assets. At the very least, Martha should be scrambling for a while. Though Banagher's fears of Murasame remain, nothing more can be done, for the moment.
A pleasant chime sounds. Banagher sits up, rubbing his eyes blearily.
"Come in." It's the Captain?
The young pilot blinks as the lights come on. How long has he been laying here in the dark? Watching Zinnerman approach, Banagher's eyes land on the box in his arms. He doesn't ask, though, simply waiting as the older man sits down.
"Ivan's smart about this sort of thing." Banagher says, quietly. "I -- yeah. I need to talk to Judau and Sayla a--about everything. I keep trying to work up the nerve to VERTEX them, but--"
Banagher's phone is abandoned on his bedside table, recovered relatively unharmed from the Garuda. The battery died after sending dozens of texts to Leina's VERTEX handle. Banagher lay awake last night, watching the cursor blink, knowing she wouldn't reply.
"...how can I --" Banagher's shoulders slump. "-- just say I failed again. Again and again and again, she's been right there. I had her in my arms just a few days ago, and still!"
The young pilot of the Unicorn looks smaller than he ever has, exhausted and terrified. "From the start, I've made her suffer so much. The things they're doing to her, Captain, I can't..." Banagher's voice breaks. "Even when I went to help raid the Institute for Continuing Study, they weren't as cruel as -- the things Vist was doing."
"It's all my fault." Banagher wraps his arms around himself. "It's all because of me."
<Pose Tracker> Suberoa Zinnerman has posed.
"He is our medic and quartermaster for a reason," Zinnerman agrees. "He's good at keeping us alive."
His eyes alight on Banagher's phone, and after a pause, he looks to the young man. "Do you mind if we hold onto this until Kwani and Tomura can go through it? Intelligence protocol - we have to make sure it's not bugged." It's an unpleasant subject to float... but it would be foolish to allow this lapse so soon after a victory - and it's something small. Easier to talk about.
Banagher begins to speak, unloading his worries and frustrations and self-recrimination. 'It's all because of me'.
"No." Zinnerman says sharply. "You are not the one at fault here, Banagher. We all underestimated Martha Vist-Carbine's cruelty and ruthlessness, and we have all made mistakes in handling this rotten business - and we are all responsible for making those mistakes right... but you are not the one who put Leina in their custody. You are not the one who exposed her to whatever has been done to the Banshee's psycoframe. You are not to blame; the guilty parties remain the Vists and their century-old conspiracy, and Murasame Labs for the work they did."
He looks away from the young man, towards the far wall. He's looking into the past... summoning strength. "I know what you're feeling very well. I know you know about... what happened to my family, and that it happened while I was in Federation custody. I wish I had been there for them. That I might have been able to save even one of them... Or at least to offer comfort to Marie in the face of the inevitable. I kept thinking 'I was the soldier. I should be the one to have died'... Even today. I blamed myself for being helpless when they were taken from me."
He reaches over to rest a hand on Banagher's shoulder. "Since you came into possession of the Unicorn, you have followed your heart as best you were able - your own convictions and principles. That you were unprepared for the cruelties of this battle is a tragedy, but it is not your fault."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"Oh -- yeah." Banagher reaches out for his phone, handing it to the Captain without hesitation. "That makes sense. Just -- if Le--"
He stops, midway through her name. Tears come to his eyes, and Banagher takes a deep breath.
"If Leina replies, please, let me know right away. She.. hasn't, but... maybe she will. I know she's still alive, I can feel her." Banagher brings a hand to his heart, straining again to reach Leina, again unsuccessful.
Zinnerman replies with a sharp tone, and Banagher looks startled. Quickly recovering, he listens, waiting quietly as the Captain gathers his strength. Banagher's face turns even more distressed, hearing Zinnerman talk about his lost family, and his daughter.
This is the first time he's heard the name 'Marie' used out loud. It feels like something sacred, the way Zinnerman says it.
"Captain..." Banagher says, softly. "You couldn't have done anything, but I -- you wouldn't be who you are, if you didn't feel that way. I can't imagine how awful it must've been for you. I feel the same, I wish."
Banagher clenches his fists, letting them fall into his lap helplessly. "I wish Vist would've just taken me! Involving Leina, all of those girls, it's sick! Working with that monstrous doctor! Having to know... Leina was suffering all this time, and I c--couldn't -- I couldn't do anything for her."
Zinnerman's hand lands on Bangaher's shoulder, and the young man leans into it, squeezing his eyes closed.
"It's always like this. It doesn't matter. Everything ultimately just blows up in my face. It doesn't matter how hard I try, or fight..." He looks up at Zinnerman, caught between fury and despair. "Captain, is there even any point to this? Is this--"
Leina's wrathful, venomous words echo in Banagher's mind.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! You think I don't remember everything you said in that hospital! About Loni! About your FATHER! About the CURSES of family! You are DELUDING yourself! IF YOU THINK THIS WAS YOUR CHOICE IN ANY WAY! YOU. NEVER. HAD. ONE!
"...has this ever really been my choice? Am I just following... some cursed destiny, for being born into the Vist family? Everything I've done has just led me."
Banagher looks away.
"Right here. Unscathed, while the people I love suffer."
<Pose Tracker> Suberoa Zinnerman has posed.
"I will," Zinnerman assures him. "That young woman has become quite important to this crew too, after all."
He looks back at Banagher, a rueful look on his face. "It is not something that will go away easily, if at all... but talking about it does help. I haven't done that in... a long time."
Did Banagher ever really have a choice? "If you didn't, you wouldn't be here with us now. Remember our first meeting? With the burgers? I made it clear then: You were always free to walk away from what I was offering, if you didn't want to associate with the Sleeves, at any time."
"You have chosen things beyond this treasure hunt time and again, even before you joined up with us. The kaiju fight on the Moon; the rescue of that idol group; fighting those strange aliens; opposing Blue Cosmos. Those actions have saved lives, and spared countless other people the pain of helplessness while losing those dear to them. Please... do not discount what you have achieved with the power the Unicorn offers you - those battles are just as important as the Laplace conspiracy."
"You are not unscathed, Banagher. You might be mostly physically unharmed... but your heart hurts. You grieve for what's been done to Leina and the others... and that is a strength, of a sort. Sit up, please."
As the young man does so, Zinnerman looks up at the ceiling. "Do you remember what I said in the desert?"
He leans over, and puts his big arms around the boy, drawing him into a hug. "Have you allowed yourself to cry, yet?"
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"I--know I'm just a pilot, Captain, but if you ever want to talk about it." He offers, tentatively. "I'll always listen. I know you'll do the same for me."
Banagher works up a little smile, remembering that day with the burgers. "I was so hungry... I'd only had rations I stole from the Gwennagorn for more than a week. Those are still the best burgers I've ever had."
"You've never forced me into anything, but I still wonder if this is all some kind of, I don't know." Banagher gestures vaguely. "Destiny. Like miss Loni said, children are cursed to follow in the footsteps of our parents. Alberto told me my great-grandfather killed my grandfather. He made it sound like the Vists are fated to hurt and kill each other. Do you think that sort of thing is real?"
Zinnerman lists out the battles Banagher has joined in to help others, and he looks... Genuinely surprised. In his mind, those were only things he did because he had the chance, as though they didn't 'count' compared to the larger thread of the hunt for LaPlace's Box.
But the people he's saved. It matters to them. Golden eyes shimmer in the artificial light. "I didn't think --" Banagher sniffles. "I was -- just doing the right thing. Like what Amuro Ray would've done. But you're right. None of these battles is more important than the rest. For the people we protected, it meant everything."
Banagher sits up straight at the Captain's request, the action automatic. A little smile, again, makes it to his face. "It took six of them to take me down." He brags, quietly. "And they only won because they had tazers."
Perhaps an embellishment, but not too much of one.
"I--" Banagher finds himself wrapped in Zinnerman's arms, and after a heartbeat, he relaxes. "I cried so much on the Garuda, but it was --"
Arms wrap around Zinnerman in return, clinging tight. Tears are already falling down Banagher's cheeks. Though he knows he's safe to cry in front of the Captain, Banagher still buries his face in the larger man's shoulder, seeking comfort.
"I was ready to give up. I -- told Alberto, if he just let the girls go, I'd take him to the B--Box, and -- he wouldn't do it. He said I had to let them keep Audrey! They didn't even hurt me, they just kept hurting the girls and then sending them to see me after, and--"
Banagher sobs.
"Martha is going to kill Leina if she gets the chance! I know it! I'm -- s--so scared I'm going to feel her die any second now-- and what if Murasame g--gets them back--"
Agonized worry pours from the young man, each confession only making him cling tighter to the Captain.
<Pose Tracker> Suberoa Zinnerman has posed.
Zinnerman grunts. "I don't put much stock in destiny. Perhaps you were always going to be drawn into the orbit of this conspiracy... but you chose to walk this path because of Mineva, no? If you had not felt her peril and saved her, then none of this would have happened. You would have gone on as a student at Industrial Seven until the battle, and..." He frowns, and rather than dwell on that grim possibility, settles for "I am glad that my crew and I met you. It was only a handful of days, but we all missed you."
He lets Banagher weep against him, patting his back. "You did what I couldn't - you tried your best to be there for the people you love. You're already better than the kind of man I am, Banagher - and far better than your own family's history. As for Leina... I won't allow her to be killed. We have access to the Banshee's communications encryption; the psycoframe was fighting us, but if we have another chance, we might be able to disable the injection system. It's a long shot, but we'll take the chance every time."
He considers, then slowly releases Banagher from the hug. "I have a gift for you." He hands Banagher the box. "It is not much, but..."
Inside: A hooded faux-leather jacket much like Zinnerman's battered old coat, tailored to fit Banagher comfortably, lined with synthetic wool on the inside. On the shoulder: A patch of steel-blue and orange stripes, decorated with the words Garencieres Junior.
Zinnerman smiles fondly. "When we bought this vessel, we all decided we should get something as a crew, to commemorate this new step forwards. Now that I've given you yours, the rest of the crew are now permitted to wear theirs - Tomura thought we should keep it a surprise."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"For Audrey..." Banagher nods. "Yeah, if I hadn't done something, she'd be dead right now." Though Zinnerman doesn't say it, Bangher's thoughts go to the same place. The young Gundam pilot would be dead, incinerated with his classmates. "And I wouldn't have met you and the crew. I can't imagine my life without you guys. I wouldn't be half the person I am now."
Another little smile. "Thank you for saving us, Captain. You didn't even know if we'd still be alive, and you showed up anyway, instead of waiting or holding back like the others. I get why they did, but--" He sighs. "The girls suffered for it."
Slowly, Banagher's tears come to a halt. Unlike the times he cried on the Garuda, this time, he feels lighter for the experience. His shoulders don't look quite so tense, and there's a softness surrounding the young man that Zinnerman hasn't seen since before the battle at Torrington.
"I believe in you, Captain." Banagher lets out a sigh. "And I'm never going to give up on Leina. We're going to bring her home, and we'll make sure she's able to heal."
All those things Leina said... That wasn't the real her. That was Vist's torture and programming speaking. Banagher takes another deep breath, and lets the words slip away.
"A gift?" Banagher asks, as the box returns. With care, the young man opens it, and reveals..!
A beautiful, beautiful jacket. Banagher's eyes light up as he pulls it free, brushing a hand on the outside, then inside, then the patch.
"Captain, this is amazing!" He puts the box to one side, then puts on the lovely jacket. His hoodie is, of course, still on -- it doesn't look bad, somehow. "If this is for the crew, then--"
Banagher leans against Zinnerman affectionately. "I guess I need to finally learn how to salute properly."
<Pose Tracker> Suberoa Zinnerman has posed.
"Welcome aboard, Banagher Links," Zinnerman replies, but it is not a professional greeting; it is warm. Fatherly. "We can work on your salute, and your duties, later, but you know I don't stand much on ceremony on this ship."
He pulls the young man into another hug. "Let's get down to the mess, Gilboa's getting a stew going. We've got work to do... but it can wait, for a little while. We need to gather our strength for what comes next."