2023-03-31: Dressing Wounds
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Alouette Pommier
- Where: AEU France - Paris
- Date: U.C. 0097 03 31
- Summary: In attempt to become more used to the wider world, Akane visits Paris with Alouette. Although underlined with heavier topics of discussion, the two manage to shop for clothes together with a more solid foundation of friendship this time.
- CW: Passive suicidal ideation
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The long process of getting used to going back out into the world continues.
Akane's trip to Barcelona yesterday was kind of a disaster, and nearly ended the whole experiment before it began; after a few rounds of texting with her friends, though, Akane has... forced herself to get out and do it again.
Another long train ride. Akane runs her thumb over the gold clasp of her pass holder, even as she sinks into the corner of a car. European trains are so different from Japanese ones, Akane reflects -- the floor plan is different, and there's definitely a sense of... nostalgia, that comes from looking out the window, that just isn't there on your average city commuter train.
Getting out of the train takes a little more time than Akane would've liked -- there are so many people on it. Once she emerges, she immediately starts searching the station for the friend she's meeting. Hopefully even in this crowd it won't take too long -- they do have an arranged meeting place.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
As Akane continues to venture out into the wider world, Alouette is happy to be her tour guide for the streets of France. She waits at the designated meeting spot at the station as she absently scrolls her cellphone. She's dressed in her coat, scarf and a chic beret - it's still a little chilly even now.
With such a distinctive look, it shouldn't take very long for Akane to spot her, and when she does, Alouette greets her with a warm smile. "Bonjour Akane, bienvenue en France." The station remains bustling and very loud, though, and Alouette's a little anxious to get out of such a huge crowd.
"So... where do you want to go? I'd like to think I've lived here long enough to tell you the difference between the tourist traps and the good stuff." She adds, wryly.
BBSYS: Post 815, 'Scheduler' has been published to Public by LiSA.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"I guess it is kinda like my first time," Akane admits, rubbing her hands together. She's still wearing the coat Sayla gave her; it's been... a lot, in a good way, to have people so willing to scrape her up off the ground in so many ways.
"Hmmm... I kinda want to see the kinda clothing place you'd usually shop at." The problem with what she was doing was never her impulses, just her need for control... she needs to take that to heart. Try some things she's already tried, as just one more person.
(She'd thought about asking to grab a bite to eat, but she actually needs to get her newly voracious appetite in check a little...)
"So, man... GaoFighGar, huh?" She says it like it's not a miracle -- indeed, something seems to be gnawing at her a little.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"That's an idea," Alouette nods enthusiastically. "We could try picking outfits for each other, maybe?" She'll start leading the way to one of Paris's many boutiques, but also making sure she's staying at pace for Akane. "I usually like to shop a little under the highest end." She explains. "3G pays well, but.. the absolute highest ends always overcharge and the clothes are only debatably better." It's also where they start getting rich-people experimental, and Alouette prefers the proven classics.
Akane brings what she had on her mind to the forefront, which causes Alouette to look a little lost in thought for a second as she's walking. "GaoFighGar... I knew one day, it would be needed again. But I wasn't expecting it to be like that." She replies, slowly. "Maybe it's a good time for me to admit one selfish thing... when I watched you fight, I was worried. That the GaoFighGar I helped to develop would never be seen again." She brushes off that concern with her hand, though. "I'd rather not think about it like that. I think.. you have a different relationship with the machine than Guy does as an Evoluder. And in turn, I have an entirely different relationship as its programmer."
The way the question seems to gnaw on Akane doesn't escape her notice, though. "With that in mind, how do you feel in relation to GaoFighGar?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Picking outfits for each other... Akane tries to answer that, but her mouth opens and her tongue starts going and in the end nothing comes out. She doesn't stop, to her credit, staying on pace with Alouette.
Her hand drifts into her bag for a moment, squeezing something.
She tries again. "If that's really okay with you," she agrees, nodding. "I'm gonna let you go first, though." It'll never be fair, but... if Alouette's offering and means it, then Akane can give it a shot. Maybe 'fair' is an illusion, anyway.
Alouette admits something selfish -- and Akane glances off. "Ahaha, no, yeah, I get it, kind of? It's a little different, but it's weird to see someone else's take on a thing you made." As they keep walking -- Alouette, presumably, leading the way -- Akane volunteers, "I actually get kinda mad when I see the footage of CK-15. Like, yeah, that's all stuff I made, but it's not the stuff I made."
Alouette prompts her, then, and she has to think about it. "It's a lot," is her first answer, as her pace slows. "I'm still kinda figuring it out. It's definitely the kinda thing, though, where..." ... is this even something she should say?
... she was asked.
"I was just starting to get okay with being a person again... and now it's kinda harder than ever to say I'm not a kaiju," she answers. "I met that Yuliana woman from the Phoenix Hunt the other day, and... her story's a lot like mine." Lamely, she admits, "It feels good to have a way I can help people, but it also kinda reminds me I'm never going to be a normal person again."
Her tone flattens a little; nevertheless, she allows Alouette deeper into her heart. "I keep wondering what it would've been like if I died doing God and Devil. Like, if I did one last nice thing to try to pay it back and it was all just kinda done."
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Alouette tried to present the prompt in a way that wouldn't be weird, considering their past with clothes shopping. If they both chose one, Alouette, thought, maybe it'd be fine. But she notices how Akane struggles to get the words out... Akane still has a lot of baggage about that time... Alouette wonders if she should feel more strongly about it herself.
Still, she takes Akane's own prompt. "Sounds good, then. Honestly... there's a lot you would look cute in. Let's find something that will really impress Rikka, shall we?" Alouette eyes a dark green trench-coat looking outfit. "Hmm. I don't know. It's very 'Guy trying to look presentable at a social'," she giggles lightly.
Scanning the next aisle, she eyes a heavy white jacket, layered with black fur, with two red highlights. "That definitely looks like it could be your style." Alouette points out.
"Yeah, I'm glad that isn't like.. a weird thing to admit." She nods, about the differences in GaoFighGar. "Still.. you put the Program Ring system to excellent use. Different.. but not bad."
She nods sympathetically when Akane compares it to CK-15. She didn't fight Deiwardas, but the footage gave her a similar feeling. The kaiju were thrown into the blender without a care the feelings they represented.
Her gaze wavers a little, as Akane can't seem to find the words again. "A person and a kaiju.. sometimes I think the line is a lot more blurry. But I don't think it makes you less person, either? It's complicated..." She trails off.
The mention of meeting Yuliana gets a thoughtful look from Alouette. "Ah, her.. I might've had to tell her off a little during the Hunt. But you met her...? That's surprising, but I guess she isn't laying all that low." She clasps her hands together, still holding the jacket in it. "If she really is so similar... I have to wonder who's using who between her and Alexis." She doesn't believe someone like Alexis is capable of true mutual partnerships, so that one's off the table.
What Akane says next, Alouette wonders if it was the true deepest feeling regarding Akane and GaoFighGar. "If you did... I doubt anyone would be happy. To me, sacrifices mean a lot, and they don't always end in death, either." A tug at a curl, perhaps near where a near-fatal head injury was sustained so long ago. "I'm glad you're still here, Akane... and I think for Hass, it's a good thing no one died saving her."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
... it is easy to get Akane one or two degrees less gloomy by mentioning Rikka. (It's something she'll need to interrogate a little closer before it starts getting weird, but... it's okay to feel warm about someone.)
"I dunno, it kinda vibes," Akane starts, still shaky but not miserable. "I could see myself wearing that, though maybe a different color... then again, maybe not." The white jacket, though --
"Huh... you see me in white, huh?" she starts, and that gets her thinking. "You're the second person to say that kinda thing lately... maybe I should give it a shot." She muses, "I still think red works for you, myself..." She looks through the racks, scanning for something.
She can spare a little thought for Yuliana and Alexis. "It's probably both. They might even be kinda... I think Yuliana sees him as kind of like her in some weird way I'd need like a year to explain." So, naturally, she doesn't yet.
The last part catches in her head as she picks out a dress for Alouette. It's a little on the ultra-traditional side, but it looks almost like it'd hold up under... 'adventuring' conditions. "Hmm -- I think you could use something a little less frilly?" Akane suggests, before getting into it. "... Huh. I wasn't even thinking about that. If someone died saving Hass, that'd be... man, she'd feel so guilty." That much she can wrap her head around. She notices the tugging at that curl, but isn't sure what to...
... no, she does know what that means. For better or for worse, she knows a lot about Alouette's personal history from her files. "I'll try to keep that in mind," she says, to the idea that Alouette's glad she's still here. It's not a total answer, but... "Sorry for making it all gloomy. I don't wanna be a total mood killer. Let's find a blouse to go with this?"
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"Yeah, green isn't an instant first choice for you? But you're right.. it might look pretty nice in other colours."
The attention is turned to the white jacket, instead, for now. "Oh, really? The white would look nice together with your brown hair, though." She nods. "You could probably put this jacket over top a dress of some sort.. but that might just be hyperspecific to me." She laughs.
"I don't think you're wrong," she considers, as Akane decides red for her once again - as a sign of friendship instead of ownership. "I did end up wearing red to the prom, after all."
"I see.. both sounds apt. I'm not sure anything good can come out of that partnership. Which reminds me..." Alouette hasn't really told anyone about this yet, but... "You must have read the NERV report, but we've sighted the Banshee again - near Tsutsujidai, fighting the Unicorn. I think.. it did the same thing to me that it did to you last time." She frowns. "...Would it help to know the specifics?" She offers.. but she doesn't quite feel up to getting right into it right away.
She turns her attention to the dress Akane picks out for her, and she feels the material. "It's... pretty sturdy." She comments, it's not how she expected it to feel at all. "But very cute at the same time." Frilly is nice, but Alouette thinks Akane made a good choice here.
Alouette nods, very slowly, as Akane works out how it would make Hass feel first - and then promises to keep her words in mind. "It's okay. It's.. definitely better than leaving it unsaid." She then wanders over to the blouses, still making sure she doesn't leave Akane behind.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Hm, no, I could see that," Akane reflects, at the mention of jacket over dress. "I like that kind of thing too. Like, you saw my prom dress, right? A good jacket or shrug will do a ton for you. I took pretty well to the 3G outfit too, right?"
When Alouette brings up the Banshee, Akane snaps to attention. "Yeah. March 29th. I was testing GaoFighGar when it came out. I read the report, but... it's really bad, right? Like..." Akane stares off. Work talk seems to get her stimulated and not dwelling on passive suicide, at least.
... she realizes there's a big chunk of this she hasn't fully told Alouette, but that can wait.
Snagging a blouse for Alouette, Akane continues, "Sure -- let's talk about it," willing to leave her own bad feelings on the table for now. They're... resolved as they're going to get in a situation like this. "What happened for you exactly? And -- are you getting the nightmares, too?"
... she's still not sure if those were the Banshee or something else, but they're worth bringing up.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"Mmm, in that case," Alouette continues to eye the dresses, from the same aisle Akane found hers. An elegant brown, coupled with gold highlights. "Maybe it's okay to splurge a little if I'm paying~"
Alouette accepts the blouse, holding it by the hanger. "Alright -- if you're okay with it." She does her best to recall. "It felt like.. the aftermath of a bomb, I think. Coupled with a feeling of dread -- like they were going to find me." She explains. "As for who 'they' are... I'm still working that out. My first assumption was BioNet, and we do have a link through Alexis but... I don't want to jump to conclusions when it comes to them."
On the topic of the nightmares, Alouette nods. "Mhm. They're not every night, though. But they were more noticeable around the times of the Banshee sorties. Does that mean you're having them too?"
Her outfit decides, she begins wandering closer to the dressing room, but she doesn't enter just yet, staying near the entrance to hear Akane's thoughts.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Hehehe... well, if you insist," Akane replies, and she's starting to genuinely get into it, now -- the guilt and shame washes away, bit by bit, as they explore the shop.
She does take the answer seriously, though, when it comes. "That sounds pretty similar to what I've been getting, yeah. Not the same, but... really close?" So the dreams are very much linked to the Banshee. She hadn't actually been certain of that before, given she'd only shared that with a couple of people, but now she's confident.
"I think it might be the Vist Foundation... but you're right, we can't rule out BioNet involvement either. Oogh. I'm gonna have to update the chart..."
... later, she decides. She can do that alone in her room, whereas she doesn't have Alouette forever. "So! Want me in there to review on the spot, or do you wanna wait?" she asks with a wink, managing to be a little playful about it as she gives Alouette the chance to decide what this kind of outing looks like for a friend.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"And it'd be bad if Vist and BioNet were somehow working together." Alouette frowns. "Feel free to update me on that on VERTEX."
The frown doesn't linger for very long, though, as she takes in the joy of getting to shop clothes with a friend for real this time.
It's also nice to have the chance to make that decision for herself, and she genuinely does think on it for a moment. "Hmmm.. sure! I could certainly use an extra set of eyes." She smiles playfully too, as she finds her way to use of the dressing room stalls. The dress and blouse are perfect fits -- Akane picked it out after all.