2023-02-12: !oh, my love, they cannot take me from yoU
- Log: !oh, my love, they cannot take me from yoU
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2023-02-12
- Summary: Yuliana, held in the grip of a coma for a week after the Institute's raid, finally wakes. Elisa manages to calm her initial violence towards herself and her wife, and they're able to express their grief. Elisa's worry over Yuliana's safety causes her to manipulate Yuliana into relinquishing her plans for completing Da Xukong, a punishment which Yuliana accepts with only a little protest -- not that either of them call it a punishment. Yuliana worries over Elisa's dissociation, and with effort, even manages to centre her back into reality. They both love each other very, very much. (Content warning: Domestic abuse, self-harm, brainwashing, body horror.)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
The situation at the Silent Castle has been... tense.
Yuliana fell into a coma soon after she managed to choke out that one, hapless word, close to 'help'; luckily, Elisa's medical speciality knows well how to handle this. (It's considered a 'metabolic diffuse neuronal dysfunction'.) Taking care of her has been an effort in ensuring she's able to breathe, dripping fluids into her veins to keep her healthy, checking the levels of various things in her blood, and monitoring her brain's status and managing the seizures. It's... easier, to place the electroencephalography electrodes, given the Republic shaved her head to get to her brain.
She's been unconscious for eight days, now. The tendrils fanning out to either side of her back, and fanning out from her ears, have been more active -- but instinctively so; those snakes snap at anyone who comes to Yuliana's bedside with the claws of their jaws, and Elisa has to identify herself to them before they'll relent. ... identify herself as Voidbound, that is.
There's quite a lot of downtime between Yuliana's tests, though. Time enough to go through the records they took from the Institute -- and eventually, there's even a mention of Wen, in there, alongside Yuliana's data. (Wen's experiment research number, anyway.) Well, eventually, Elisa might come across Wen's file, which ties her name to that number. Eventually, it might all come together to remind Elisa she exists.
A little detour, and --
Wen Yuan, coming out of the brutalised Deadeye, is still pretty afraid of Yuliana's mysterious (and also very pretty) wife; she's sure to thank her, anyway. Less bothered is Parminder, who explains without a single regard for human life that Wen's brain has been scrambled by, quote, "just the WORST fucking breakup imaginable," end quote, expressing that if Elisa has any resources on deconditioning he'll go take care of it himself.
("I'm not gonna ask you to sort this out," he shrugs, "because, like, my whole bit is being the normal dude? You can't intrude on the bit, Your Witchiness. It's pretty fucking sacrosanct.")
Conveniently, he also offers his services in technical support, which should be very helpful for maintaining an uplink out here in the frigid North.
The castle is a big place, though Yuliana's silence carries through so much MORE of it, now, waxing and waning with that instinctive flap and curl of the fins behind her ears. The Nega Force are elsewhere; they have no medical knowledge which could help Yuliana, now. (Field medic skills, certainly; they're all special operatives, they have to know how to pack a wound to get someone back alive when they're in enemy territory with no simple extraction ahead of them. Yuliana, too, knows that much. But this is far beyond a bullet wound, and they're just not the right monsters for the job.) Parminder has his hands full figuring Wen out, anyway.
Maybe they'll end up comparing notes. It's nice to know what works, and Parminder is pretty fearless about having conversations with the immortal horror witch.
Right now, though, all those sensor machines Elisa has set up around Yuliana tell her -- through complex graphs with weaving lines, but telling her nonetheless -- that her brain activity has been increasing, in a steady manner unlike the erratic neural firing of a seizure. Or, more plainly: she's waking up. And when Yuliana wakes up...
... well, it's entirely likely she won't realise she should stay down, one way or another.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
A little flicker of Void energy is sufficient to identify Elisa to the snakes. She smiles at them, briefly. "Yes. Protect your mistress," she approves, even after one bit her earlier before she realized she would have to make her presence Clearer.
She has not smiled much though, in this time. She has kept a neutral expression, not bothering to emote at the machines and their test results. However, indeed, eventually it does come together...
'The bit', he says, and Elisa tilts her head to regard him like a cat might a particularly interesting mouse. And indeed. "I have such resources," she answers him.
"The pact is sealed," she says, and does not quite smile but nearly does. "Do as you must, 'normal' one. I will not intrude."
She likes him, she thinks. Also the technical support will be useful.
However...
She will compare notes with Parminder later. Right now, she instead is disconnecting Yuliana from the various machines. A steady increase means that it is time.
Elisa is dressed in black, as is usual, but not such fancy materials as is usual; simple fabric, easy to keep clean, easy to replace. Her power of the Void can kill any germs that would otherwise endanger Yuliana, but there is no sense in taking chances.
"Awaken, my Yuliana..."
She's also taken off all her jewelry. There is no sense in getting an earring ripped out or something. It would be bad for everyone involved.
She is prepared.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Ou-ogh'ia, nilj Yuliana...
Ou-ogh'ia...
... awaken...
Cleared of the drains and IV lines which would cause her damage to tear out, Yuliana is safe, when finally her closed eyes tense and blink open. Her gaze is so, SO green, as her unfocused gaze takes in the room, the black of her pupils consumed by that emerald void. "...?..." She asks, enunciates the wordless question, little more than a grunt from unused vocal cords. Her fingers flex, and tighten, in the furs. "U'iallia... no, where... where am... nnh," her hand lifts, to press against her temple, only for it to jerk reflexively away as something wriggles beneath her fingertips. "Wh--what is this?!" Yuliana yelps, as she pushes herself up -- only to see the snakes snapping at her midline, with all the energy building in her. "AAAAAHHHH...!!" She screams, jerking away from herself.
In a scramble of limbs she pushes herself up, grabbing a pair of medical scissors from the table -- the same ones Elisa just used to clip off the tape securing so much tubing. "Get off, get off!" She screams, at herself, and doesn't yet connect the way she's causing them to snap at the air with those grasping hands. "Get AWAY from me--!!!" Yuliana demands, as she tries to run only to find herself thwarted by a stone wall.
She whirls around, and she soundly lashes at herself with those scissors, though she doesn't quite realise she is. The assaulted tendril lifts its frill against the assault, and it's remarkably sturdy; the hornlike shielding isn't pierced through, even after a thrusting stab. She only quite realises that she can feel them after she registers that scratch, "ouch! Aa---hhhh??" It only quite connects as she realises those black snakes are flinching back because she's directed them to flinch back. "Oh, God, what is this?! W-what's happening to me..?!"
Wild-eyed, horrified, she won't be able to calm down on her own.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa sighs, at Yuliana's distress. It is so sad to see. So upsetting, in and of itself. But she must carry on. She must shoulder this burden, for her wife... For her love, Yuliana.
"You are at home," Elisa says first, understanding that speech.
"Ah." The scissors. Elisa frowns, at that. She demands that the others get away, and she lashes out. Elisa strides over to take Yuliana's arm, carefully and precisely and oh so ever forcefully gripping Yuliana's wrist as she takes the scissors from them and with a flash of black and green unmakes them completely.
A thing that has wounded Yuliana has no business existing.
"Curious," she remarks, "That you use the language..."
She shakes her head. "No, no. What is important is your safety, my darling."
"They attempted to destroy you. To advance that which was within you, for their own goals. But you have survived. The Void has given you these gifts to protect you. Do not rail against them."
"You are beautiful, my love."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"-- ah?" Yuliana gasps, as she swings her arm back only to find that she can't bring it forward again; she might be a super-soldier, physically if not psychically improved, but Elisa is stronger even than this. (After six days of stillness, she's not at top form, either; it's a testament to the changes she underwent that she's even able to stand, without therapy. ... it wouldn't have mattered, even if she was in peak condition.) Still, Yuliana wrenches her wrist against that careful grip, as she turns to face her with those eyes which threaten to catch and drown.
"E...Elya..." Her voice is small and hapless, as she chokes the affectionate nickname out, even as her mind processes the words she's saying. For just a moment, hearing Elisa comment on her beauty, loving relief floods her face --
-- but they attempted to destroy her.
They attempted to destroy her, and she remembers the warm spackle, sprayed across her cheeks. Brief horror, chased by rage. What she did --
"She was meant to escape," Yuliana yells, teeth flashing, a ravenous anger invading her eyes, "they were meant to escape! But you killed them! You killed them! So you're an enemy of the state, too?! The Republic won't forgive you--!!"
There's a grasping CHOMP at Elisa's legs which must have been Yuliana's deliberate command, given how she's identified herself; those hands unsheath teeth, not claws, as they tighten their grasp. Her free hand, too, jabs out -- two fingers held out in a sharp gesture which Elisa may or may not know is designed to collapse someone's windpipe.
She's... trying to kill her.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa Kafim is strong. But she is utterly careful. She does not wish to injure Yuliana, merely to restrain her, and that is enough for the moment. But those eyes... yes, her eyes can drown. But Yuliana is conditioned, still...
Ah, yes.
They were meant to escape. She is an 'enemy of the state.'
Elisa does not bother to defend her legs; they will survive. But she does bring out her hand quickly to intercept Yuliana's gesture; it would be inconvenient, were she rendered unable to speak. It would be a problem.
She finds herself distant, in the moment; the world flits on, but she is not really a part of it. No, she is observing.
"Tell me. What drives the dog, Yuliana?"
She hates to use it, but it is not really 'her' using it. It is a necessary thing, to avoid using her power on Yuliana, instead. Yes... Necessary.
When Yuliana pauses, Elisa will return her to her seat. "We must speak," she says. "There is much to understand."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Her other hand, too, is caught, and Yuliana wrenches herself back and forth violently --
For a moment.
She's always responded well to requests to just tell people things; she was never one to -- was never able to -- explain just why. It was just a habitual inclination, when the conditioning was something which happened months ago. But mere days (over a week, but she's not conscious of that) from her re-education...
Elisa starts her sentence that way and immediately Yuliana stills, and orients her attention on her. Perhaps she'd be flattered, in a way, to know that Yuliana still instinctly recognises her as someone with power over her, someone who can give those commands.
Perhaps... not.
"Protection," she responds, rote, either way. It's an immediate response to her call, and her weight sinks, as she looks at her hands. Those jaws of death release Elisa's flesh, just the same. Hunger interrupted by defence, there's enough confusion in her mind for the truth of the situation to peek through. Elisa -- her wife, and she -- "Oh... oh, God..."
She's easily led to sit on the side of the bed -- docile. How terrible, that they could force that obedience onto her. Her eyes drop to the lower half of Elisa's dress, and back up to her own, and she is feeling, feeling everything. "I -- I hurt you," she says, at a whimper. "I really hurt you that time... Elya, I, I don't understand at all..!" Her eyes tear up; that green shines.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
The fact that Yuliana can't kill Elisa does not actually make the attempt less distressing, though one would be surprised to hear this, given the calm of her expression. Yuliana stills... Yes, this is a control that they have imparted to her, that they have implanted within her.
Protection, Yuliana responds. And then--
By the site of the bed. "But not by your will," Elisa says. "It is not your fault." It is the nature of the destroyer to destroy. Even that which...
"The controls on you," she is careful not to invoke 'them', "Are something I can remove, with time. In time, you will come to understand what has happened. But for now I ask that you trust me as you are able. I will care for you, my Yuliana. You are home, now. I am sorry, that I could not come sooner."
Why not? ...It feels distant, in the moment.
"It is not your fault that you had to leave. You followed your heart."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
The fact that Yuliana can't kill Elisa doesn't make her attempt less distressing, no.
Elisa's fingers still about her wrists are reminder of that, but Yuliana doesn't try to pull them free; she just leans her weight on Elisa's side, instead, one of those black tendrils snaking around behind them to curl about her wife's midsection. "It's not your fault," she insists, voice wobbling. "It's not your fault! I'm the one who should be sorry...!"
She buries her face in against Elisa's neck, and a sob breaks, from her.
"I-I was so worried," she drags the memories from herself, claws herself from her self. "I kept thinking, what if the communion was too hard on you, I, I should have been there for you, but instead I was off taking issue with some -- some damn Macross-class! I'm s-so -- so stupid, and cocky, and careless... I just felt I had to fight, I..."
She flinches, curling into Elisa. She can feel the trace of Elisa's hair on her bare skin, and knows her own head has been shaved. "And now... Elya, they, t-they messed with my brain, like one of our mindless dolls... h-how can you even bear to look at me!? I'm not worthy to be your wife... I'm just, just... cattle!" That the Republic's indoctrination was a thing which began long before Elisa met her -- that Elisa surely saw it -- doesn't register, to her mind, in her grief.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa notices her hands at Yuliana's wrists eventually, when it becomes inconvenient to Yuliana trying to lean on her. She releases her wife, and puts an arm around her, instead. "Yuliana..."
She was worried. The communion... "It took some days," Elisa explains. "But I was fine enough. No, it..." She considers. It is easy to put her words in order this way, except for the fog in her mind. "It was difficult, to hear that you had left," she admits. "It was hard, to know that you had left safety. But I do not blame you, my love. You did what you felt you had to do, even if it meant going against my wishes. That is natural, I think."
But Yuliana flinches, and...
"You are not," Elisa says. "They violated you. It is unforgivable. And I will not forgive them. You are no doll; their efforts to subvert you nearly killed you... but you have been rescued, and I will clear you of such influence. You need not think of yourself in such a way."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
When Yuliana realises her hands are freed, in turn, she latches her arm tightly about Elisa, clasping her opposite shoulder, pulling herself further in.
She needs her, she needs her, she needs her.
And it was hard! It was hard for her, Yuliana leaving her safety! She disobeyed, and...
They violated her.
"Damn them," and the anger which enters Yuliana's voice now is her own, "damn them all to hell! They're my countrymen no longer. I belong nowhere! All I am is with you, Elya. I've only ever been safe in your arms," she nestles another inch into hers as she says it, as if in demonstration. "You rescued me," she insists on the actor, a shade calmer, even though Elisa elides herself. "Oh, Elya... you saved me again. I know... I know you'll take care of me. Thank you... really, I..."
Her fingers curl; grief floods her eyes, as she glances aside. "I should have listened to you," she insists, voice raw. "You said you'd like me to stay inside, I -- I should have realised you were being delicate about the danger... but oh, I thought it would do no harm to do some tinkering, and while I was in the cockpit, the radio... yes, I, I truly felt I had to fight, Elya! I... I had to..." And it's not difficult to imagine the way her conditioning would lead her to action, the consequence of making a weapon from a woman. Elisa's will has ever been at war with the REA's machinations, for control of Yuliana's heart.
Even as who she wishes to have it is clear.
"I'm sorry," Yuliana chokes out, against her skin. "I'm sorry I disobeyed your wishes, I'm sorry! Oh, this is all my fault! If only I'd listened to you, you've always known better, I'm such an impulsive fool, I never think... oh, Elya, I've caused you such trouble...!"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa holds Yuliana close, but she is careful, so careful. Yuliana's anger, though, is welcome. It is welcome, to hear her say it. "With me," Elisa agrees. "And I with you. Only you matter, my darling. And here, we are home again."
'Elisa' rescued her. Yes, that is true. "I did not think that you would go," she admits. "But we can address that in the future. The temptation is too great for you. I will be able to keep you safe, in the future, now that I know." She considers. "...Your tinkering--it is a danger to you for now. You should give to me the plans you were working on. I will entrust them to the Loom girl, to finish them, that you will have safety and power when you go out again, and will be safe here until it is ready."
Yuliana apologizes...
"I do not mind," she says, without saying that Yuliana hasn't caused her trouble. "I am only happy that you have returned to me, my darling."
SHe will tell her of the assistance she received in time. For now, it is about Yuliana.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"We're home," Yuliana echoes. "You're what's most important to me, zhenushka..."
But... the temptation is too great, for her, though Elisa doesn't mind the trouble. Yuliana tilts her head to look up, to her, crushingly close; and there is pain, there, in her eyes. "But --" she starts, before the whole of her sinks, against Elisa. "But Da Xukong's my project... it's mine! I've been working on it for so long...! If that girl takes it, it won't be my..."
She trails off, for a moment, looking down to the neckline of Elisa's simple gown. (Hers is just as functional, white instead of black, suited for a patient.) "... is it... really that dangerous...?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa smiles. It is almost real, though she is still distant, still floating. Yuliana's presence threatens to bring her back, but oh, not yet. Not with the blood at her legs, which is at least already beginning to clot and heal.
"Oh..."
Elisa looks not angry or troubled so much as disappointed, at Yuliana's response. "Is that so?" she asks. "I had only wanted to keep you safe..."
"If it is so important to you," she begins, draped in sadness and concern. "Well." Pause. "Of course it is dangerous. The last time you went to work you left me for so long. Surely you cannot be expected to go until you are safe and recovered!"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And Elisa's disappointment cuts deeper than any anger. "I --" Yuliana starts, only for the word to die, in her throat.
She doesn't want someone else to finish Da Xukong, of course; the problems in its construction were hers to solve. But Elisa is so sad, so concerned, so disappointed, and the pressure is so much heavier than any of her protests. "No, no," she assures her, with a little shake of her head, and a desperate little thread holding the sounds together. "No, it's not nearly as important as your feelings, my dearest. It's selfish of me to even hesitate... of course I'll release the plans to you! What's mine is yours, isn't it? If you think it's best to give them to little Sharochka -- please just do what you think is best, Elya. You'd know better..."
It's Yuliana in error, here, isn't it? Even if it's hard to imagine how her passion for machines can itself be the problem... isn't it true that working on the Masquerion led Yuliana into this mess?
Her other arm wriggles out of being trapped between their bodies, so she can lift it up, to cup Elisa's cheek in her palm. "Really... really, I'm just being stubborn... of course I'll stay here," she soothes her, gently. "Even if I get some notion to run off, I -- I'll ask you, all right? I'll make sure you know. I'll listen to you, I will. I don't wish to cause you all this pain again..." She promises so much, is glad to promise so much, just to clear those awful feelings from Elisa's heart.
And the concern is in Yuliana's eyes, as she looks up to her. "Are-- are you all right, Elya? I hurt you... this time, I was really trying to... it must have been awful. Are you okay? Does it hurt?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Not as important as her feelings... Elisa starts to look back up at Yuliana. She remembers the world, as she feels Yuliana's hand at her cheek; it is familiar, but only vaguely. "I will do my best for you," she promises, on that matter. But that is solved, at least. She no longer needs to fear Yuliana getting such strange ideas...
"Thank you," Elisa says. "I appreciate it. I know how your independence is important to you, I do. But I do not wish you to return to the world until you are ready..."
Concern. Is she all right? Hmm...
"I do not feel it," she says, sincerely. "It is as nothing, compared to having you returned to me. It was difficult, yes, but we shall go on. You and I, together."
She smiles, and it feels more real.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I'm with you," Yuliana assures Elisa, on the topic of the world. "That's all I need. It's all I need..." Say it once, and once again, and perhaps she will forget all those binding threads which keep her here.
Or perhaps... not.
Yuliana smooths her fingers over Elisa's cheek, and lifts herself, her other hand steadying her on Elisa's shoulder, just high enough to press her lips to hers. There are many things she can communicate, through a kiss; and here, her yielding relief. As she settles back, weight against Elisa, she murmurs: "It's not nothing to me. Even though you're so glorious, so indomitable... she, she should not have shot you," a horror which cleaved even into her brainwashing, as her blood splattered over her, and she fell.
"Return to me," she bids her, in turn, tender and vulnerable. "I've missed you so, sputnica zhizni. So long as my thoughts were my own were they consumed by you. Only now we're together am I whole... oh, Elya, I love you so much." She loves her; she needs her; she feels so keenly the hurt, even as Elisa floats far from it.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
There are so many of those threads. For now. ...For now.
Elisa feels more 'present' still from the kiss; her relief, her presence, Elisa begins to feel the soreness of her legs, from those bites that even she can feel thanks to their voidly power. But still, she is already healing.
"...I will accept this," she says. "She should not. It was foolish of her." That's... like caring about her own pain, right? Vaguely like, anyway.
"...I will," she decides, and leans on Yuliana, feeling the world around her again, the silence of the castle, the draft and the warmth both.
"I love you," she repeats, and she means it. "I have waited for you. ...And while I would wait again, I am glad not to have to."