2023-01-17: This Thing I Feel, Which Isn't Quite Love
- Cast: Asciel Colette, Ai Martel
- Where: Nagoya
- Date: U.C. 0097 01 17
- Summary: A lovely onsen date, wherein one has to learn about dating, the onsen, and love. (the mild CW in that this is, indeed, at an onsen, where there is saucy flirting afoot)
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
>Status initializing. Offloading key sensory nodes temporarily to new hub: 'Plan-1211a Alastor "Periapta"'.
>Revise scale perception 1,500m > 2m.
>Mitigate reversion to primary docking locale. Latching into Area 11 remote terminals.
>...this had better be worth it.
Ai gets a most mysterious message from her thus far mostly remote companion: 'Let's go on a date at Kagashima Resort~' - that being a little amusement park, spa, and onsen congolmeration just outside of Nagoya, on the tip of a long island overlooking the bay.
...Asciel's a little vague on the details in this process - usually she just calls Ai if they go anywhere, and it's worked, mostly-!
>But for some reason just that doesn't satisfy me. I need to figure out why. It's the most important thing to figure out why.
...and so, the moment Ai arrives at the entrance to the resort, a certainly...surprising sight quickly bounds into view. A most towering, imposing figure striding from the gate, guided like a missile towards Ai. It has to be a good seven and a half feet, easily. There's a weight to each footstep - subtle, but distinct, and with the faintest...hissing, at each footfall.
"Aaaaaah, finally, finally! It's a little difficult to adapt to this, but it had to be done~ Ta-da!~"
It's unmistakeably Asciel's vibrant, and somewhat unnaturally loud voice - and this very towering figure is unmistakeably...supposed to look like Asciel! Bundled up in a heavy winter coat, scarf framing her shoulders, unlike anything she's ever... 'worn' for Ai, but the face is more or less on point, and human-looking enough...but for the distinctly orange-glowing eyes, swirling in a vivid LED pattern.
She's not afraid to get riiiight up in Ai's personal space, loomingly gazing down on her with a heavily shadowed smile. It might be intimidating for most - especially when a display of hearts bubbles up in her irises...
<Pose Tracker> Ai Martel has posed.
Hmm... How odd. A surprise, perhaps, she thinks. But even if not, a spa trip is perfect for her digital paramour's more voyeuristic tendencies...
So, a day trip it is.~ Dear Emilia is left with Madeline, and Ai Martel packs for recreation in the water...
The cool winter sun filters softly through her parasol as she arrives, quite alone; the sight of the towering figure is, indeed, a surprise. At a distance, she grips the pole of the parasol, ready to cast it away for the sword within... but her hand eases off, eyes wide as she sees just *who* it is.
As a six-foot-tall woman in Japan, Ai is not at all used to needing to look *up* at others. She seems almost at a loss for words, in fact, as she stares up--but her bewilderment is accompanied with a smile, wide and warm. She closes her parasol.
"My dear..." murmurs the lady, silk glove reaching out to take Asciel's hand, lifting it to her lips to give a gentle kiss, wondering aloud, "What manner of miracle is this~?"
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
Confidently closing her eyes, Asciel merrily hands her own gloved hand over to Ai, a smug little smile as it's raised so - and then the actual kiss lands, and her eyes jolt open. ...so that's what a kiss 'feels' like. The moment is recycled over and over in her data logging - the shape of Ai's lips. The compressive ratio of each inch. The sound recorded analyzed and resonance-matched to-
She realizes she's forgetting to -say anything back- to Ai, so preoccupied she gets with the tiniest details of that gesture. "Hooh? I'd have hoped I'd made it clear that I am fully capable of doing absolutely anything I set my will to. Fully satisfying you is a project that takes more than simply my eyes and voice from afar, and thus, I forge myself into a state that can fulfill these criteria." Her free hand cups Ai's chin, thumb tracing across her cheek - an almost mesmerized, entranced expression crossing her lips.
"This feels just as good as ascending...this feels just as enthralling as expanding my senses...rewarding, rewarding, rewarding, higher-!!" Asciel begins wriggling in place, eyes glowing fiercer, illuminating her glasses from behind. It escalates and exaggerates, until she's patently squirming in excitement - - - then stumbling - - - then--!
Several thousand miles away, docked in the Orbital Ring - the Macross 13, still undergoing repairs from its most recent sortie, mysteriously rises in reactor temperature, and ventilation shafts glow with heat, much to the bewilderment of the crew.
And back on earth . . . Asciel has fully toppled over much as a doll might stumble, eyes dim and blank very suddenly. "<Scalar adjustment failure. Rerouting.>" she blurts, in a somewhat loud monotone - proooooobably eliciting a raised eyebrow from a few who might be near.
Then, in a complete change of pace, she scrambles back up to her feet with a terse, "Aaaaaaaaa!! You didn't see that-!! Just a momentary accident, nothing really remarkable-!!" Dusting herself free, she fiercely locks arms with Ai, marching forward through the park gates at all too swift a speed, "Which place were you looking forward to here, dear Ai? All this is...new to me, so the reasons why people would go to an amusement center like this are a little bit strange. They seem a little wasteful, but this was the highest reviewed place to go on a date within 50 kilometers of your house, so logically it's where I should take you!~"
<Pose Tracker> Ai Martel has posed.
Ai smiles at Asciel's determination--such devotion, such dedication, flatters her in all the right ways. That awkward silence, even, touches her heart... it's something Ai would have to be careful of saying, but it's a very human sort of reaction--at least, outwardly. "Mm. The hearts in your eyes are a lovely touch!"
So much of Asciel Colette is an enigma, she thinks, as the large woman transitions abruptly from triumph to collapse. Ai's composure drops, for a moment--a shame, truly, that Asciel isn't aware enough in that moment to see it--and her eyes widen, uttering a half-formed vocalization of alarm.
Asciel might catch the tail end of it, a more composed concern as she kneels over the girl's body. "Are you all r--"
Yes. Yes, it seems she's all right. A nod, "Of course~" Ai manages to keep pace, just barely, taking long strides and clinging to Asciel's arm. "Mmm... I had been looking forward to the spa most of all. An onsen is a lovely thing... the warmth is comforting, not to mention the theraputic effects of a soak in hot-spring water... and as so much media will attest, they're sometimes a prime spot for prying eyes." She winks.
"But... there's something rather more exciting about it with someone you love, in person, isn't there?" She regards Asciel with a warm smile, looking over her bundled-up form. "I trust you won't have any particular issues with the water, then?"
Her mind wanders as her eyes do--it's so difficult to tell, under so many layers... just what sort of body is this that she's chosen?
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
That momentary concern isn't something Asciel spies in the moment - she's far too concerned with her own return to poise and grace, her own self-image.
...but of course, in reviewing these recorded memories, it's something she might bask in for a long while later.
"Fufufu. Yes, I wonder just how often you've been observed enjoying that most fiercely desired indulgence in the bath..." (In Asciel's database, it'd be 37 entries of such.) At the southwest corner of the park, then - the onsen awaits - one that's artificial to be sure, since there's hardly 'real' hot springs around here...but, well, where in this connection is there room to complain about artificiality?
"I can't say I'll truly be able to understand what's so amazing about this, even in this guise - but I suppose it just has to do with the many ways in which humanity needs to rest their soft, weary forms. But then, when you say it like that - aah, I understand. It's shared appraisal~ Time spent carefully enjoying what we have in common, and yet have as differences."
...That last question, though... It's one she's actually needing to stew and research, even as they're already checking in and getting wristbands and wandering into the changing rooms.
>Ghhhhhhh I don't see anything on these spec sheets about water permeability or expected changes in density, where where where, I- - -
>CRISIS AVERTED it's rated for marine and naval operations. Ughhh. I'd be so. SO steamed if I picked the one date in the world I'd make a mess of. We're going to make it perfect. Unbelievable. Unforgettable.
>...I'm worried about that. Unusual.
>Ai is just one human. But I'm acting like this has more exacting standards than an event viewed by thousands.
...Completely lost in thought, Asciel doesn't even notice that she's...following Ai's motions in folding up and stowing away her attire - jacket hung on a rack, countless little layers following. ...The form underneath...passes as human, relatively well - though key areas beneath synthetic skin would be much, much harder by default, with the shoulders in particular being a little unusually broad and sturdy. It's a marvel of engineering in its own right that Asciel can look relatively 'normal' stapling a human veneer onto the Alastor's 'terrifying pursuing killbot' structure.
...well. One unorthodox choice made very obvious.
Answering Ai a few minutes too late, Asciel bolts to certainty, fully digressed of her clothing, with one final flourish of undoing her usual high-tied ponytail, letting that teal mane cascade in an almost earthy and wild way. "Don't worry one bit, Ai~ Fully rated for water impermeability!~"
<Pose Tracker> Ai Martel has posed.
"Well, I suppose there's a good chance you might not," admits Ai, "But it's a date, not simply an onsen trip, you're quite right. In fact... one might say it's our first *proper* date."
Her attire is somewhat less elaborate than normal, anticipating the need to undress here--but it's still a somewhat involved process. She's the sort who wears multiple petticoats for casual outings, after all...
Her body is far from a mystery to Asciel, at this point--but as for the reverse... for the far-closer-to-human Ai, there's a world of difference between viewing Asciel on a screen and beholding her in person... particularly at this scale. She can't help a soft gasp, cheeks tinged pink at the sight.
"Oh, my..."
There are quite a lot of things she wants to do, now... but it's hardly the time or place, so she simply lets her eyes wander admiringly. "You are truly a work of art, my dear..."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
Ai is a 'solution' Asciel's observed time and time again. The mystery has been answered - the data has been recorded countless times over. And yet. And yet there is a need for 'more'. It's unreasonable - to fixate this much on a single person.
>...And the only solution to answering that fixation is even further investigation - like a perpetual spiral. Frustrating.
...hm. No. It's not frustrating. Not in the slightest. I'd usually expect that. But this dilemma is...encouraging.
"...First date, huh? I usually associate words like that with flustery uncertain feelings. With overcoming awkwardness. It may be tangibly our first date, but we're far from that sort of connection. Though really, that type of stammering, blushing affection is far from my style. Were I face to face with you the first day we met, I'd have just as well replaced my demand I made of you..." Asciel steps forward, eyes narrowed, smile brimming wide - lacing fingers together with Ai, before roughly colliding her against the closed wall of belongings lockers. Her irises look like the most blazing of sunset. Any personal bubble is fiercely violated.
Yet once more, there's a long, awkward silence from Asciel. Processing all of this is...a struggle.
"...you're such a prize that I can almost endure how constraining this is."
What an odd, slightly hushed, more...rough thing to say, with none of her merry lilt. Before she can clarify that, Asciel's using her holding of Ai's hand to practically drag her along to the steamy waters - marching forward like there's something to push 'through'. Like there is an irrevocably necessary answer to be found. Surprisingly, she picks a rather open and populated spring, roughly the size of a neighborhood swimming pool, instead of one of the more private ones - perhaps it has to do with a number of conflicts that need resolving - like others will provide clarification...but deigning to select a sliiightly more isolated nook of said pool.
Her heavy, slightly thunderous footfalls keep moving, as though expecting to step 'on' the water, parsing it as a solid surface for some inexplicable oversight . . . and predictably, for the second time today, Asciel tumbles uncontrollably, landing with an utterly ungraceful and massive splash that earns a bit of a stink-eye from the other more relaxing guests.
When her head pokes up from the misty, swirly water surface, there's a distinct scowl on her face, and fierce red Xs flashing in each eye. (Don't worry: that's her protocol for self-disappointment! The threatening scary murderbot stuff isn't going to happen just from falling in some water!)
<Pose Tracker> Ai Martel has posed.
Ai can't help but let out a little yelp as Asciel collides with the lockers, though she manages to suppress the accompanying laugh. She clings all the tighter afterward, holding the larger woman's hand as they proceed toward the spring--
And, quite suddenly, her hand is empty, as is the space beside her. This time, she does laugh--though it's firmly the kind and endearing sort of laughter, rather than mocking. She eases herself far more gracefully into the water, towel folded atop her head, and she lays her hands on the struggling android's shoulders, touching at first their noses together, in a tender little gesture... and then lips.
It's not a lingering kiss, merely a peck; afterward, Ai makes her way back to the edge of the pool, eyes upon Asciel. Others may be annoyed at her stumbling in her newfound body--but Ai cares not. The two of them are the whole of the world right now, as she gestures lightly with her head for her companion to sit beside her.
"Perhaps, after this, we ought to take some time to... get you used to this body, and some of those quirks of physics that frustrate you so?" she offers, quietly, lacing fingers beneath the water. "I seem to remember you were struggling with rope..."
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
Asciel can't help but get stuck in seething, in frustration, in the bitterness of imperfection. It takes her quite a while to notice Ai closing in - but the bumping of noses together does awaken her...and the kiss-
It's just a momentary one. Just a little reassuring one. And yet...
>The wanting escalates. The wanting keeps escalating. It just keeps-!
"...Ai," Asciel murmurs in the wake of that brief embrace of lips. "...Why are you so potent at making things that feel gratifying...?"
She can't close her mouth properly. It's left her stunned and disoriented - and fantasizing for more. It takes a while before she even realizes that she's asked Ai a question.
]]Humans are supposed to be the ones making inquiries. I am supposed to hold wisdom.
Tucking her slightly ungainly towering form in tight to Ai, Asciel's arm slinks around her companion's waist, gripping with an uncanny, slightly straining amount of tension. "...Luckily, you're an amazing playground to explore such physical properties~ Ah, I've been working very hard to grasp the properties of cord-type objects lately. Hehehe. You know well how I am...if there's anything I struggle with, it only becomes a call to master it that much more fiercely. I've been working extra hard to vastly expand my scope...mm, it felt almost as good as your kiss to finally experience a far, far vaster body. You should take pride in what I'm managing to seize for myself...as soon as I can secure it, I'll give you a tour of my latest acquisiton.~"
>...
>...almost as good as her kiss...?
My aspiration. My ambition that glows so bright. The broadening of my horizons to seize the world - to extend my capacities to their utmost of limits. It was sheer, unbridled bliss. I could scarce contain myself. I WON'T be able to contain myself when it's finally all mine. When I am finally unarguably above anything that could match me.
>...how did...a tiny kiss like that...even slightly compare?
<Pose Tracker> Ai Martel has posed.
Ai simply smiles. "My dear..." Her eyes half-lid, "I think we call that love."
She snuggles in close. "Mmn. I'm not used to being so small," she admits. "But it's... not a bad feeling." The sense of force in Asciel's movement, the power of such a body...
Does it say something about her, she wonders, that she finds it exciting? Such power, an arm with the strength to crush concrete, instead used to hold her tight... perhaps a little too tight, even for her.
Hmm... yes. That makes it more exciting.
"Almost as good?" she prods, teasing just a touch, looking up at Asciel. "I'm flattered~ but you oughtn't sell your achievements short, my dear." A little quieter, she continues, "I've been keeping an eye on what you've been up to... you're doing truly grand things. It makes me feel all the more special, you know... that you deign to consort with something as small as myself, after experiencing something so grand," she half-jokes, laying her head against the side of her lover's bosom.
<Pose Tracker> Asciel Colette has posed.
Love. Love. Love. A word to be used so carefully - as it is a word that humans use carelessly.
>Love. The stimulating feeling of care between people. Humans posit many different categories, but this is the common link between them.
>The reward by your side. It is a well I would drink from forever.
>This thing I feel...
>The fixation. The need. The compulsion to arrange so much around you.
>This thing I feel, which isn't quite love.
>That's right. The word 'love' being used here is akin to the way humans love various sensory inputs. It is an amalgamated word contorted from that meaning. You're here in my arms, but the divide between us is as inherent as it is between you and a luxury you enjoy.
Asciel's toes grip in the water, kicking about beneath the surface, stirring up little pools of pocketed warmth. As her consort's head falls upon Asciel's chest in comfort, she returns, doting upon Ai by carefully applying some of the complimentary soaps to her neck, shoulders, just a bit lower-
>The water you partake in is something you can claim you 'love', but it is an ephemeral, fundamentally scale-different connection. It will not love you back - you will not continue to love it once the need for its warmth has passed.
When the heat gets unbearable, that ever-reliable vending machine of chilled milk - a tradition to recuperate - deposits two bottles, one for Ai, and one for the more...tenuously capable of drinking Asciel. She gives it a try. She can detect taste, faintly, but it's a very...abstract notion. And there isn't really a 'swallowing' function in the Alastor...it goes down some sort of hatch, into gods know where - she's sure engineers will chew her out for that.
>This drink you partake in is something you claim you 'love', but it too will not love you back. It is something to be consumed - appreciated for its benefits. That gulf just cannot be crossed.
Asciel can keep up a light, slow-paced line of conversing with Ai, easily - but it slows down the more her thoughts circle this same, inescapable, unanswered conclusion. The wanting spurs on her actions - but surely, the (faults) in the way she wants...the drive to test her limits at the same time she tests Ai's, something to zealously partake in...
<>holding as close as possible<>
<>does not reduce conceptual distance.<>
<>i do not believe it will make sense to you.<>
<>...this answer, while 'correct' - is so deeply unsatisfying.<>