2022-11-14: Paranoid Love
- Cast: Alma Stirner, Lilith Aiden
- Where: Irish-class Gwennangorn, Alma Stirner's Quarters
- Date: U.C. 0096 11 14
- Summary: After meeting with Rena, Lilith confronts Alma about Yuliana's potential abuse. It gets heavy.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Meanwhile, at the Gwennangorn:
Honestly, as times of it go, Alma has been having a pretty good one lately! The Gwennangorn affords her a lot of leeway to come and go as she pleases, for a pilot -- and that means that she's had time to follow up with Leina and a few other people besides. She's even gotten some time to go shopping! All told, for all that Torrington was a nightmare, the last few weeks? Those have been pretty good.
Right now, she's stretched out in her room a bit; her duties this week have been quite light, and she could use the rest. She has her phone out, of course, and is presently...
... scrolling through her Pinstagram. "Eeeh? How did this one blow up so much??" Alma asks, mystified. She hadn't really been the type of person to do more than occasionally throw up a selfie on socials, but lately the positive feedback on those has been so good, so she's doing a little more.
... still, she isn't really a social media addict (yet!) so she elects to put that down for now and just... decompress.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith's return to the Gwennangorn from the military base has her moving speedily. After checking in with her first officers, briefly, she has only one place she could possibly go. Part of her wonders if she should wait...
But she needs to protect what she loves.
A small series of knocks, rapid, impact on Alma's door. They're familiar. "Alma, are you still in here? I'd like to talk with you, if you're free."
Lilith is somewhat masking her emotions. She can't fully mask them from a powerful Newtype, but they're masked nonetheless, hiding the anxiety and worry, but not the care and affection.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Aah? Lilith, c'mon in! Just a second -- I'll get the door!" Alma says, hopping out of her bed and going over to the door. She'd had it locked, but she wouldn't keep Lilith out -- however rocky the road to that place was, they're partners.
Reaching the door, her fingers dance around the keypad in that practiced way, and before long it's open. "Is everything okay?" Alma asks; while she can tell that she's Lilith's number one priority here, there's something at the corners of this situation that... she can't quite manage to parse out.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
As Lilith enters, she's considering her approach. She could lie to Alma, take it easy, coax some info out of her and then tell her what's going on...
But that's a breach of trust. They're partners. She has to be as honest as she can while protecting Rena.
"Let's talk inside." Lilith says, and waits for the door to close. Her expression is serious.
"I got...alarming information...and wanted to ask - how did you and Yuliana Dispersal become friends...?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Eeh...? Well, like -- the first time we met it was pretty tense," Alma admits, getting right to it once the door is closed. "I didn't really know what her deal was. But we got around to talking, and then the second time we met up..."
She trails off for a moment, and starts her sentence over, trying to explain herself. "The last few times I followed up on leads on Zeon remnants, they've been from her! Things haven't always worked out the best, but she's been trying really hard to help me find everyone else."
Alma heads back over to the bed, slowly. "I think that's kinda big of her -- she's angry at Zeon for sure, but... she's done her best to help in spite of that, you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith's piecing part of the puzzle together. Alma corrects herself on the second time they met - normally, she wouldn't press, but after hearing about 'leads on Zeon Remnants' and 'find everyone else', she proceeds.
"Second time you met? What happened there?"
A pause. "By everyone else, you mean Noisy Fairy? Did you tell her about them yourself, or...?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Yeah, I did!" Alma agrees, without any concern in it. "The first time we met was in Helmajistan -- I mentioned I was from Zeon, and was trying to find members of my old unit... the second time, she'd found information on a lot of Zeon remnant pockets and gave it to me. I think she was hoping it'd work out. It didn't, but that's the kind of kindness you just can't ignore."
She thinks back, but there's something in Lilith's suspicion that makes her a little nervous. It's not for herself, but... "Since then I've run into her a few more times. There was that one time she got attacked by a kaiju in the Macross fleets... and then Torrington."
Her own expression starts to get a little more serious. "Lilith -- what is this really about...?"
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith sighs. She has to tell her, huh. How to approach this...the honest tway. Of course.
"I have reliable intel that Yuliana Dispersal is manipulating and abusing Newtypes. She possesses a hatred for them, and uses her abilities as a REA Captain to get into their good graces inn order to hurt them with any information she can get. I don't believe she's seeking Noisy Fairy for kindness, Alma."
"I want to make sure you're safe."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma looks a little horrified. "Lilith, I -- what? What?" She seems more incredulous than anything else -- the distress is plain on her face. "I -- I'm not going to say you're wrong. But I --" She stumbles over her words. For once, Alma's literally at a loss for how to even respond.
"... Even if that's true, I don't want to just abandon her to her anger," Alma says. "I want to see her happy, you know?"
The words come with this -- staticky, incomplete feeling. It passes as Alma affirms, "The word 'Newtype' would have made you angry, too, back then..."
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith is about to respond, when she feels that 'incomplete' feeling. "Ngh..." She shakes her head, pushing it away, but it's worrisome. "Alma...this isn't a twenty-one year old ensign angered by her family getting annihilated and charging into the fray to get revenge. This is a woman with power using it to manipulate and gaslight. She made Mineva cry, and at first I thought it was an accident, but now..."
Lilith frowns, as she knows Alma is right, they shouldn't leave someone to her anger, but...
"Alma, feel me. I feel you. Reach out. Tell me, why do you want to make her happy? Help me understand, and maybe I can help." Lilith tries to connect to Alma, extending her whole heart to her partner.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"It is, though! You think just because she's a little older than you were when that happened, it doesn't hurt her? She lost people in Sydney too!" There's not a lot of heat in Alma's voice, but there's some passion there. "I expected bet --"
She cuts herself off, and loses the thread on reaching out to Lilith; instead, she scoots up the bed, now in a less-common but still very present mode: moody Alma. "... th-that was too far, but..." Taking a slightly ragged breath, she whines, "I don't want to be a person who gives up on people! I -- I couldn't pull the trigger against Renato, or the captain his squad was manipulating, or... or you. I think I can -- no. I know I can reach her. Even if I can't, I don't want to lose the part of me that got me here, now. With you."
That reflexive earlier answer was staticky and incomplete. This is glass-clear and steel-hard.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith almost snaps back, already on edge, but catches herself, especially as Alma cuts herself off. "No, it's okay. I don't want to fight with you - and I don't want you tot lose that part of you..."
"But, tell me. Why did you choose to throw yourself in front of her during Torrington, like when we were young? You could have died - is that because you want to help her? Or something else?" A pause, as Lilith's brain goes to the worst option. It can't be possible, but, Yuliana is apparently already abusing people mid-combat...
"Alma, did she ask you to do that?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Of course it was because I wanted to help her," Alma says, drawing up into herself just a bit; her knees slide up on the bed, and she lets out a breath. Jeez, she really wears her heart on her sleeve... that was so unlike her -- and yet, it's kind of entirely like her, isn't it?
"No! She just -- when the Shamblo showed up, she said it'd make her happy if the pilot died." Saying it makes Alma queasy -- and that's a queasiness that reflects through her. "I couldn't... let her die in that much anger. So I -- decided to protect her..."
It's not an inconsistent action from Alma, but -- she feels off about it, nevertheless.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith becomes tense. There's *something* here that's wrong, and she can't place what. "Alma. I love you. I love you so much. But I...there's something wrong here. You're hiding something, consciously or not, and unless you tell me why you feel so off, feel so wrong, we're not going to be able to find a path forward together. Please..."
"I don't want to see you ever get hurt. The news of you taking a last stand putt a knot in my gut, and if this woman leads you to doing that, that's..." She trails off, unsure how to finish her sentence.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Lilith telling Alma she loves her gets Alma to be a little less tense -- that's right. It's okay. They... can disagree on this, and Lilith will still care about her. "I don't feel wrong," Alma says, her heart beating out of her chest for reasons she can't quite put her finger on. "I just... I like her. If anything, she kind of reminds me of you, and... if I can do for her what I did for you, then --"
The queasiness upticks again. "Lilith, it's -- the commander's duty to make sure everyone survives." Not the first time they've talked about the wisdom Killy left her. "I'm not hiding anything -- just... ever since she showed she wanted to help bring Noisy Fairy back together, I've wanted to do something to make her happy back." It's the third time she's said it.
Just like that.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
There's an undercurrent that's uncomfortable here. Everything clicks upon the third time. Happy. Lilith suddenly has a dark thought, about Flanagan Institute and sleeper commands, but she doesn't voice it. Instead...
"Do you want to make her feel happy because of you...or did someone else ask you to do that?"
"Because, it may be the commander's duty, but before now, you've been avoiding that reckless streak, and you're acting off. I could ask anyone about it. You're reading off as if you're nauseous just thinking about it. Tell me with all your heart."
"Why?"
Lilith isn't listening exactly for vocal answers, though they're helpful. She's using her mind to feel Alma's responsne.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma's train of thought runs up into a wall. That's... but she's never actually been in the room with anyone besides Yuliana when she's talking to her, other than in a group setting, right? They just have kind of -- nothing conversations, after information handoffs.
... right? Nothing conversations.
"Lilith, you're -- this is paranoid and kind of weird," Alma replies, "but okay. I want to make her happy -- for my own sake."
It comes out more garbled than anything else up to this point. If anything, the sincere emotion here is fear.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
"...I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. If anything ever happened to you, I don't know how..." She doesn't finish that thought. Lilith instead smiles as much as she can in the situation, which is slight. "I love you. I'll...give you space. Please, just, whatever you do, be careful."
Lilith moves to leave unless Alma stops her, looking back at her once before exiting.
And then, once she's far enough that Alma can't hear her, she taps into her comm. "Hello, this is Captain Aiden. I'd like to discuss the incoming mail schedule? I'll be at the mail room briefly, I need to change some protocols for a few weeks."
Whatever that garbled feeling of fear was - whether it was about her or the people abusing her - Lilith's gut tells her Alma's being abused. She can't even think of an alternative - her protective instinct has flared to pure paranoia.
Hopefully, she isn't right.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma does stop her -- but only for a moment. Just long enough to say, "I love you too. This doesn't mean I don't, and..." She smiles, though it's a tired one. "... I'm really happy for how much you care about me. Don't stay away too long, okay?"
... it's probably best they have a little space right this second, though -- Alma has a lot to sort through.
Pretty much the instant Lilith and Alma part, Alma buries her face in her pillow and starts crying. It's not even that she's really upset, as such -- she just... it was a heavy conversation! She needs to get the emotions out of her system somehow, and Alma's always been a very expressive creature.