2022-10-09: Memory ~TRAUMA~
- Cast: Guy Shishioh, Mamoru Amami
- Where: Guy's Office, Orbit Base
- Date: U.C. 0096 10 09
- Summary: Mamoru comes to report in on Alouette's aggressive disappearance. While there, he quickly senses that something's bothering Guy.
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
Guy's been keeping himself busy around Orbit Base. That's no surprise; now that he's rather decisively benched, that fiery need to DO STUFF is expressing itself in other ways. Apparently he's been cleaning up the hangars, using that Evoluder strength to do work that normally requires teams of workers with Labors or forklifts.
Today though, he's in the rather nice office he has as Acting Chief. He still hasn't decorated it much. There's a few bookshelves filled with, mostly, old school trophies or photographs, and a desk with a terminal Guy mostly ignores, since his Evoluder abilities let him use it without, as a normal human might define it, actually using it. Behind that is one of the windows overlooking the Earth, a treasured piece of real-estate and really the main reason the room is reserved for GGG's brass.
Guy is standing at that window, the long black coat of his office of Chief hanging around his ankles, hands behind his back, when Mamoru arrives. There's an unusual tension in him.
<Pose Tracker> GaoGaiGo Team has posed.
Mamoru is in uniform, but is not accompanied by Ikumi, who hasn't left his quarters outside of work and sustenance requirements. Mamoru seems low tension about this, though, as he approaches with a soft-frequency "Wa-ha!" to announce himself.
"Chief- well, Guy," he corrects in the wrong direction, "I wanted to check on you." He says as he moves in, glancing out the window. It's always a glorious sight. Nonetheless, his face goes slightly harder (but not uncharacteristically) as he realizes Guy is tense, and decides to cut straight to the point..
"The other night, I could tell this was all weighing on your mind. Alouette, those in NERV, not being able to fight...and Minae's not around, so I wanted to offer to talk about it."
He'd usually make small talk. "We haven't really talked about anything since you returned to Earth..." Mamoru pauses.
"And you're like my big brother, so I want to help you."
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
That Wa-ha! gets Guy to crack a smile, pivoting on his heel to watch Mamoru approach, letting the (barely, now) younger man step up beisde him.
But he's not quite expecting Mamoru to dive right into the serious stuff. "Must be bad if you're going straight to it," Guy says. "...yeah. I guess it's really worrying me."
His eyes cast out, across the light and dark. "I just keep thinking about our friends," he murmurs, softly. "Renais keeps getting pushed around by all this. She was smiling and laughing with me barely a week ago, Mamoru." The smile he has is maybe the bitterest Mamoru's ever seen on him. "I thought she was really turning around. Now this."
His face darkens. "I just keep thinking of the Trinary Solar System. The Paras Particles that pacified everyone there, I guess that was pretty similar to this. And..."
He scratches, behind his ear. Where Palparepa plugged his Chemical Bolts into Guy's skull.
"I'm worried about what comes after."
<Pose Tracker> GaoGaiGo Team has posed.
Mamoru is calm, listening patiently. He looks out, glancing with a tilt of his head to get both Guy and the window in line of sight.
"I could say something about how we've got it handled, don't worry...but there's plenty of reason to worry, so that'd just be callous..." Mamoru admits.
As Guy scratches behind his ear, Mamoru frowns instinctively, but it gives him his segue. "Guy, we've known each for like, a million years. And, that's a lot! But we went through thick and thin together. Take our friends corrupted for example. They may be fighting for the wrong cause...but they're still fighting like Braves."
He considers the Renais problem. "She's going to hurt. Alouette, too. But...what comes after, in your mind? Suffering or healing?"
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
They've been together for so long, but Guy's so...not used to unburdening himself. Mikoto, and sometimes even her she'd have to insist. "Yeah," he says, quietly. "They are. That's assuring, in its way. I know they won't throw their lives away." Not...easily, anyway.
Mamoru asks him a pointed question, and Guy chews on the twisting anxiety in his gut for several seconds, before he finally lets the thought that's been boiling in his gut for days out into the world.
"The attack," he says.
"When EI-18 invaded Bay Tower with those nanomachines that made everyone party deliriously, Mikoto snuck down and tried to kill me in the lab. Maybe that was the Zonuda spore in her, but still, when that didn't work, they turned into that terrestrial sun."
"Ear Primeval turned our own staff against us with those needles of his, and you getting there in time is the only thing that saved orbit Base."
"And when the 11 Masters of Sol released the Paras Particles to pacify 3G, and then defeated me in battle..."
He swallows, hard, and he can't even look at Mamoru. Staring rigidly off into the horizon.
"They sent me," he says, his voice rigid and brittle. "If I think about it too long, I can still hear the Repli-Braves screaming. Destroy it. Destroy it."
<Pose Tracker> GaoGaiGo Team has posed.
Mamoru keeps listening. And he frowns sharper with each word. The final ones cause an immensely displeased Mamoru, though obviously not at Guy. He chews on his lip a bit, and then...
"Guy. How long was it, in there? Days? Months. You haven't had time to cope, have you? For montths after, everyone was a mess, especially after you didn't return." A pause, though.
"But we learned to deal with it. We didn't move on - we knew you'd come back to us - but we had to live our lives. And it grew easier over time, even if it never went away."
Mamoru tries to figure out how to say this, looking down at the Earth. "What comes next is pain. They'll feel like they've betrayed us, betrayed themselves. But you know what happens after pain...? Healing, support, and learning new things about yourself."
"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
Guy knows that last one sounds severe, but if it's Mamoru, he can be honest about it.
"In the Trinary Solar System? I'm not sure it was even a whole day. Not much more than that in Orange Site. And then however long I've been back. 8 months, or so, I guess."
8 months of sprinting, to get the ones he loved back. 8 months being too busy holding up the world to tend to his own spirit. That's so like him, though. He'd rather sprint on broken legs than let a moment he can help pass him by. How the devil Hinoki got him to stay in a wheelchair for most of a month is anyone's guess.
"...yeah," Guy says, nodding quietly to Mamoru's assessment. "I just..."
He scratches at that ear again. There's no physical scar anymore. His Evoluder healing and Mamoru and Mikoto's purification saw to that. The emotional one is clearly deeper.
"I don't want them to have memories like I have," he says, dull.
<Pose Tracker> GaoGaiGo Team has posed.
"A day." Mamoru says, soberly. "A day and eight months. Guy, it's not the memories alone. You're running a marathon to get away from them. To set everything right. And I don't blame you, but..."
Mamoru touches the window, carefully. "You're going to burn your heart out. You're not alone fighting for the world, remember? We talked about that. Eventually, there'll be peace...and you'll be able to sort through it. I'm not a therapist - there's only so much I can do - but I'm Mamoru Amami, of our precious Earthsphere, and I'll do anything I can to help you."
Mamoru thinks. "We don't have time for you to take a break...but stop brooding, okay? You'll beat Ikumi and J's records at this rate! You have to believe that they're strong enough to move past it, like you will be."
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
Guy's brilliant in many fields, but as is extremely evident to anyone who actually knows him, self-care is absolutely not one of them. For so much of his life now, he's just...dashed forward, pushing through on willpower.
Still. He won't deny it when the young man he sees as a brother calls him on it. "...yeah," he says, and rallies himself, pulling a smile onto his face. It's strained, because he doesn't want to feign perfection with someone as precious to him as Mamoru. "I know you will, Mamoru. It's because I can rely on you when things get tough that I can afford not to rush myself to every corner of the world. That's why I'm relying on you for this, too. So I can take care of our other friends, and try to focus on..." He chuckles, shrugging vaguely with his palms up. "Chief stuff?"
He turns, finally breaking from the window and putting a hand on Mamoru's shoulder, his gaze intent. "It's because I know I can rely on your courage, Mamoru, that I can continue to rely on mine. And with that, we'll help them find theirs again. Thank you."
<Pose Tracker> GaoGaiGo Team has posed.
Mamoru smiles and laughs as Guy puts his hand on his shoulders. "Yeah, we will. I'm glad to help, 'Chief'." A pause. "No, I'm still calling you Guy."
A single pause, though. "Hey, if you see Ikumi, don't feign anything, but - show him everything you've got in your smile, alright? I'm going to talk to him soon, but, he needs help, too, and I can't do it alone. He needs to see our hope. Alright?"
<Pose Tracker> Guy Shishioh has posed.
Guy gets a better laugh out of that one, snickering. "Yeah, Chief still sounds wrong. We've got to get Taiga back before people get used to it."
Oh, Guy, how little you suspect.
And to Mamoru's request, he draws himself up, nodding and putting on a shade of that confident, heroic smile of his. "We have to rely on each other to get through the tough times. That's how humanity perseveres. I'll do that, Mamoru."