2022-09-03: Rusalka, how I long to destroy you
- Log: Rusalka, how I long to destroy you
- Cast: Yuliana Dispersal, Alma Stirner
- Where: Federation base, Khanka
- Date: 2022-09-03
- Summary: Yuliana is distracted from the Khanka trolley problem -- itself a distraction -- by one Alma Stirner. This is great... for Yuliana. Not so much for Alma, despite her goodhearted concerns.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Lieutenant Aung Zin Saw, you're relieved. Report to the mainland office for your new assignment. Lieutenant Chaiwalla will be relieving you." Captain Yuliana Dispersal metes out the orders with a measured tone, gesturing from one REA soldier to the next.
Aung Zin Saw is distinctly unpleased with the news, though. "What?! Abhay?! He couldn't govern his way out of a paper bag! I'm good at dealing with this district! And who gave you the authority to come through and uproot me, anyway?!" Lieutenant Chaiwalla -- Abhay -- is at least professional enough not to rise to the bait, though he's a touch stiff, standing to attention.
"I'm with special operations, son," Yuliana tells him, scowling. "Perhaps you didn't know... but you'd do well not to complain so much about being noticed for an opportunity like this. We're authorised to divert qualified soldiers from the rank and file for specialist training."
Aung Zin Saw frowns, snapping back to attention. "Oh, uh -- yes, of course, Captain. Right away."
He doesn't mention that he's sore about his cushy, lazy job with great bribe potential being taken away; that's just quietly understood, between all of them. It's also why Abhay can stand to just stand there, even though he's being plainly insulted -- as far as he's concerned, he's got the better part of this deal. All he needs is to climb the ladder a little more, and he's set for life.
Of course, Yuliana doesn't mention why she's stealing away a couple of the most talented people who've been stuck in the Khanka mire, either.
It's been... an ongoing project, making sure the right people are in power, and the right people are doing something else. Yuliana can't quite say how much time she has to prune the rosebushes down, but she's motivated and ambitious enough to try.
"Lieutenant Chaiwalla," Yuliana turns to him, "I trust you're able to succeed the Lieutenant's duties immediately?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replies, sharply.
"Good." Yuliana nods, once. "That will be all." And once they've cleared out of the room she's stolen for this conversation, she clears out, too.
Nominally, this is a Federation base, though most of the uniforms here are REA green; Yuliana is in her Captain's clothes, too, at least for today. It's... convenient, for her to be able to exert authority in this situation. Of course, she doesn't have any official authority, here -- but as much as she's using the rules to her advantage, she is, technically, using extant rules.
... given the wave tactics of her people, it is extremely convenient for special operations to have a clause which lets them steal away talent before it's churned with everyone else.
It's a pain, of course; Yuliana has an outstanding mission to meet with a dignitary in Riksent about some particular points of contention between their country and the REA, and she has a person of interest to -- let's say visit, in the area, when she gets an unobserved moment. But since she's unable to plainly discuss her concerns about Khanka without compromising her information flow, she's placed into a position where she has to take time out of her very busy schedule to come here.
(Wen Yuan came here with her, because Major Pham has continuing concerns about assigning Yuliana to solo work, but Yuliana's set her to take care of a separate task. She's currently charming the base commander to figure out some important pieces of information Yuliana lacks, because Yuliana is entirely capable of recognising that Wen has an easier time winning people over than she does. Is this violating the spirit of the Major's wishes..? Well, Yuliana won't tell if you won't.)
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
The twist, of course, is that the lead Yuliana gave Alma has led her right back around to Yuliana's present project, albeit by a very circuitous route. Following Zeon remnants eventually means following dirty money, and dirty money has a tendency to end up right here in Khanka.
This is where the trail goes cold, though -- which means she's poking her head into the local Federation base to not-so-subtly find a next step. Unfortunately, given who else is here today, she may not find the time...
It's as they're clearing out of the room that Yuliana earmarked that Alma runs into her; she'd been looking for who's in charge, but given that is in the active process of changing, things have gotten kind of messy fast. For once, she actually uses her normal human eyes to see the emerging figure of Yuliana Dispersal and not any other sense. (Yuliana rejects that, after all.)
"C-captain Dispersal," she says, blinking once -- twice -- as she runs into her again. "Did you just finish a meeting? They, uh -- didn't look super happy about it." She opens her mouth to say something more.
Her posture shifts slightly, and she decides her opinion on Yuliana's command isn't worth injecting.
Instead, she says, "I was actually here following your lead, but -- it got here and then got kind of cold."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Ah! The entertainment has arrived. Yuliana's gaze falls on Alma, appraising, for an eyeblink of a moment -- weighing up whether she has the time to work off a little stress.
Imminently, she decides she always has time to make someone as blatant as Alma miserable, and Yuliana smiles.
(In greeting, surely.)
"Ah, Rusalka," Yuliana greets her, warmly -- is it warm? It sounds so. "Don't worry about them, dear -- one of them couldn't see the opportunity in front of him, and he was terribly unkind to his comrade in the process. They'll be quite happy about it, once their tempers settle." See? It's nothing Yuliana did.
Never mind that the passive voice she's used for that opportunity entirely elides who pushed it into the Lieutenant's hands.
She presses her fingers to her cheek, and hums. "Cold, hm..? Why don't you come in here," she turns back to the office, "and tell me all about it."
Over her shoulder, she adds, lightly: "Nothing would make me happier."
Facing away from Alma, back to her as she walks inside, the way her smile grows knife-sharp is an expression for herself alone.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Being addressed by a pet name gets her attention -- it very much breaks from the Yuliana Alma has in her head, who is a creature decidedly 'of' the rules that hold the Federation together; it's not... bad, though. Something about it is familiar and pleasant, even though she has no idea where she would've been given such a nickname before.
"That's really unfortunate... then again, every unit has something like that every now and then! They'll probably come out of it better for it," Alma -- who has a terribly rosy view of workplace conflict -- concludes, following along with Yuliana with that bright smile.
Besides -- she's oriented on better things, now. She'd be delighted to make Yuliana happy.
"Well, on that front, I followed the money to a group in Helmajistan again, then actually ended up out in space -- then back here," she says. "It's not turning up anyone I know, which I'm actually a little bit happy about," it'd be kind of disappointing if her friends had just returned to fighting for Zeon, "but..."
She gestures a little vaguely. Something seems to bubble out of her subconscious. "Oh right! I talked to one of the pilots on the Ra Mari... she said she hadn't looked into you at all since the last time we talked and wasn't sure if anyone else had."
It just feels like the most pressing thing -- so much moreso than even checking up on Yuliana after the kaiju attack. After all, Yuliana is obviously fine -- but she ought to know what other people are talking about...
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Certainly," Yuliana agrees to Alma's rosy conclusion, the very picture of encouragement. It's an impression which lasts, as she turns to face Alma inside the office, with a kind smile and an engaged expression.
Yuliana never bothered learning emotional regulation, but she spent quite a lot of time learning how to act. If she looks so welcoming, who could argue she's anything but? No one can see into her heart.
And when she steps closer to Alma, well -- she won't be seeing anyone's hearts, either. Call it a closer conversational distance. "Oh?" Yuliana asks, a gentle prompt. "Who was that pilot, again..?" It's cruel to ask her to recall details like that at the same time as she brings her into her sphere of influence. That is, in fact, the point.
What a shame, she thinks, meanwhile, in the island of herself -- that the rats haven't fled back to Zeon. Of course, to Yuliana, it hardly matters. Even redeemed criminals can always experience a tragic... accident.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
As the two of them settle in, Alma still feels that uncomfortable, lonely daze -- but it's getting easier to manage each time. The first time it was absolutely overpowering and miserable; this time, it's a solid 4. She brings a hand up to her head -- but recovers before too long.
"It was..." She casts a line out into nothing, then reels it back in. "... Anita! That's it! Anita Rosetta." The look on her face -- in spite of the strain -- is a fond one. "I like her... she reminds me a lot of someone I used to know. They're not the same, but they kind of have the same energy..."
It's harder to describe that feeling now than it should be, but somehow, that doesn't register. What she does finally get back around to figuring out how to navigate the conversation, she says: "It's good to see you doing so well after that kaiju attack!" No check-in, no questioning; Yuliana presents as well and so obviously she is.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Why, look at that, she's getting used to it!
What a shame.
"Ah, Ensign Rosetta, is it?" She gets a rank and file designation, but Yuliana doesn't sound displeased to hear about her -- really, she seems happy to hear she's seems to be doing well. "Delightful. You've done very well." A moment's pause, and Yuliana offers her context: "It's an important skill to be able to notice those little connections, after all."
So, she was praising her for noticing Anita was like her old friend. Obviously.
Her hand reaches out, to pat Alma, lightly, on the shoulder. "And you have so many little connections, don't you..?" With gentle, curling fingers, to take the lot of them away.
It isn't a mistake -- the way she diminishes the size of what links Alma to the world.
She smiles, hand pulling back to press her fingers to her cheek. "Were you worried for me..? I'm so happy to hear that," a perfectly natural way to structure that sentence. "... why, I was afraid we'd gotten off on the wrong foot, when we first met. But you're quite right -- I'm doing well now. No worse for wear at all!"
Yuliana pauses, and adds -- in concern? She looks concerned, "Rusalka, how did you find fighting that terrible thing? Was it difficult...?" She is concerned, certainly -- with collecting some delectable stories to bring back to Elisa, given the sting of their defeat.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma loses track of the conversation a bit -- but that's fine, she thinks. She's just a little off-kilter because of the way in which talking to Yuliana leaves her without some of her usual signposts, that's all. That much is on her.
Also on her: Yuliana's hands. She sinks into that grip a tiny bit, just as it sinks into her. "I do," she agrees, without thinking about it too hard -- and then the conversation moves on.
"I was! Something was obviously wrong... you seemed really off. I kinda wanted to stick with you, but --" She looks a little sheepish and admits, "I felt like if I didn't do something about the monster, everyone would get hurt..."
The follow-up question doesn't ring any alarm bells in Rusalka's head. The fairy has to think back fairly hard, because... "Honestly, the memories are kind of muddy, but... like -- usually there's a moment in a battle where it's very obvious to me what I need to do and why? But there it just... it's not that it didn't come, but it was kinda like swimming in molasses!" Thinking a little harder, she eventually adds, "It was also... it felt kind of like there was something distracting just me. I'm used to feeling hostility in a fight, but this was almost more like... affection?"
She ruffles her hair, conceding, "I know this must sound weird to you! I'm pretty sure we see things completely different ways..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Alma agrees, and Yuliana smiles.
"You are forgiven," she observes, to Alma's sheepishness. And as she goes on, and Alma offers more answers, and Yuliana offers a hum of sympathy in turn.
She doesn't feel that way at all, of course. It's downright insulting that her lie happens to be a Newtype's truth; someone might go so far as to mistake them for the same. In Yuliana's mind, this is, of course, all Alma's fault -- never mind that Yuliana was the one lying, or that Elisa was the one who made Ivnerre in the first place.
She blinks, though, and focuses through her veiled pique -- it's just a little inwards pinch of that smile, a little extra tension at her nostrils, tiny little things which add a hint of what must be concern to that sympathy. Molasses, she says...
Yuliana's gaze veils, smile widening for a moment, before it becomes clear that it's growing more sympathetic. (A touch of adjustment to what she'd prefer to show.) How wonderful, to know Ivnerre is hers! To know the void is hers!
"Oh," she assures her, light catching her jealousy-green eyes, "you'd be surprised just how similar those experiences are, at first glance, Rusalka."
She's delighted enough to say, close to honesty: "I am adored by that emptiness."
It hardly matters. Alma isn't going to betray her. Why, it would break her heart!
Amongst other parts of her.
"But you were better able to protect me from up there, surely," she absolves Alma of her earlier crimes, as if she'd said nothing at all. "Sticking too close would simply be wasting your talents, mm...?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Microexpressions elude Alma at the best of times. She's never had the need for them -- so she misses them entirely. She gives Yuliana a pleasant smile -- but one that's just a bit too bland on her face, just a hair 'nothing,' as if she's waiting for permission to speak too much further.
Eventually the conversation creates an opening for her. Actually, a few. "No, uh, I'm very aware," Alma says. "My partner is also, uh... we used to be enemies..." Here she brings her index fingers up to meet one another, pushing them together in a singularly childish 'ah-heh-heh' gesture of embarrassment.
"Adored...? That's -- kind of a funny way of showing something adores you, if you don't mind me saying it," she adds, after a little bit. The rest of what Yuliana says, though -- that part, at least, is true, and she nods her assent. "You're right -- I did do a way better job, and I could tell people were trying to help you, too..."
Yuliana seems happy with her performance. That much, at least, is good. "I bet it's kinda rough for you lately, after something like that... is there anything I can do to help?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Hmm," Yuliana hums, with quiet amusement, as Alma falls into that embarrassment.
She doesn't press her on it -- for the moment.
Her fingers fan through her bangs, briefly flashing the scar beneath, as her gaze tracks to one side for a moment. "Is it...?" She wonders, a touch vaguely, before she reorients herself -- quiet visibly, the way her gaze turns back to Alma. "It was a surprise to me, as well," she lies to her face, with all the conviction of an innocent woman. "Very strange, really... but, it's fine, now."
(If the lie and the truth must align so well, she may as well get something from it -- and help Alma to the conclusion they're something alike.)
Alma bets it's been rough, though, and Yuliana's fingers twitch, and her eyes blink shut a moment longer. (One, two, three, four...) "No, no," she assures her, kindly, when she looks to her again. "There were no lasting effects, and I'm quite fine." She pauses, and adds, with concern: "I hope you don't think I'm the sort of person who crumples after any unusual event. If people started to get that impression of me... why, that wouldn't be good at all. How could they trust me to have their backs in difficult moments...?"
Framing Alma's concern as something negative is, of course, entirely vindictive. Yuliana hates being pitied by Newtypes more than anything else in the world.
It hasn't been rough. It hasn't. It's an expected setback -- and an utterly standard REA response. She's... fine. She's fine.
And she'll be more fine, in a moment.
"But you said your partner used to be your enemy," she goes on, after those moments of silence, to pull Alma in another -- kinder? -- direction. (It isn't.) "That must surely be a story! Tell me all about it, won't you? You might not know it to look at me, but I'm something of a romantic, you know." She is engaged, so... maybe it's even true.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Oh! Well -- that's the best kind of weirdness, I think," Alma affirms to Yuliana, and the more she does the more she starts to suspect just that: that despite how different Yuliana feels, the way Yuliana experiences the world must be kind of like her own. She thinks of her a little more warmly after that...
... and more than that, she sees Yuliana as someone strong. To pick yourself up and be fine -- and to be concerned about whether people can rely on you... that's surely a mark of kindness. At worst, it's the sort of kindness that needs guidance not to be self-destructive.
"When I was fighting for Zeon, Lilith was part of a unit formed... more or less entirely to hunt us down? It's part of why the Federation records on us are better than the Zeon ones," comes her answer. "The anger I felt from her... really shook my conviction at first." She looks down. Despite herself, she's smiling -- these aren't unfond memories in the least, now. "She lost people during the Sydney drop... just feeling that told me a lot about who I wanted to be."
The story continues, of course. "During the Gryps Conflict, I was with the AEUG... I ran into her again, and convinced her to come with us instead of defending the Titans. Since then, we've been together." ... rules about fraternization must be pretty loose in Londo Bell.
Her gaze turns to Yuliana's ring, without much thought. "Oh, congratulations, by the way! I guess I can see where you're such a romantic..."
Nothing happened in Saudi Arabia, after all. Certainly she didn't congratulate her.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Yuliana is irritated that she didn't manage to lead Alma to feeling like she'd spoken ill of her, but she doesn't let it show. Besides -- she's telling her something very, very interesting.
Lilith... an angry woman, a woman who has experienced loss and love...
(Their methods work. It's something Yuliana can be proud of.)
"Why, thank you," she smiles, one hand coming to the other, as her fingers brush her diamond and emerald ring. "I'm a very lucky woman." It wasn't luck. It was fate. "I'm so happy to hear you speak kindly on our union."
She smiles, warm -- it must be warm. "And it seems you're quite lucky, too! So, you're working together now, are you? She's been terribly helpful reviewing all these documents, I'm sure." A lucky guess. (Alma told her as much, but she might not remember.) "Have you spoken to her terribly much about me, Rusalka?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma is blissfully unaware of anything Yuliana may have been hoping for. After all: Alma can't read the room. That she no longer has her other option, skipping to the end of the conversation without any kind of intervening step, simply means:
she's oblivious!
"I haven't -- as far as I know you and Lilith have never met, so I haven't brought you up." She wonders why that logic follows. "I did bring up our leads, but..." She shrugs, eventually. "Why do you ask?"
Rusalka glances around the meeting room for a few moments, brow furrowing a little -- but she's not too worried, ultimately. Even if she feels... less-than-great, she's having a pretty okay conversation so she doesn't really mind being here...
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Oh, no -- I was just curious," Yuliana assures her, reaching out to pat Alma's head, in the wake of her furtive glance. A comforting gesture, perhaps. "... since she must be someone very special to you."
Her hand settles at the side of Alma's head, for a moment, as she speaks with gentle tones: "But I'm happy there's nothing here you need to discuss with the important people in your life. I'm so glad you can trust me, Rusalka... and you do trust me, don't you? Very... very much." Her voice lingers on the word, redoubles it; she certainly sounds supportive, sounds trustworthy.
For one blissful moment, Yuliana entertains the possibility of burying her fingers tight in Alma's hair and SLAMMING her head into the --
Gentle, gentle, her hand drops to curl at her chest, instead.
There will be time enough to destroy Alma later, Yuliana assures herself. For now -- she's an asset, to be used up and disposed of at the end of her usefulness. It is so much more comfortable, using other people. So much easier to assure herself she's not a tool in someone else's hands.
So much more satisfying, knowing she's the one who's hurting Alma.
And it isn't like she doesn't deserve it.
(Yuliana still thinks she deserves it, even after all her care.)
But... there's only so far she can push someone like her before the cracks start showing, Yuliana supposes, so she tilts her head inquisitively. "It's been delightful to see you safe and sound, Rusalka," she assures her, "but I wonder -- am I keeping you from something, dear? Was there something you had to do, here..?" She can't help but twist the knife a little more, given Alma's confusion.
"Or perhaps you can't quite think of it... don't worry about a thing," she goes on, smiling, offering her salvation. "Poor Rusalka, you've been working hard all day... why don't you go try something on? The boutiques on Namgung street are just precious!"
She looks at her cheerful hair, and remarks: "Black would suit you."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
The handling Alma receives here ought to make her feel uncomfortable, but -- she can't quite put together why, right now? And indeed the first thing Yuliana says as she is is how happy she is about Rusalka's discretion, and her trust.
That's a want. ... isn't it?
She doesn't press into that hand, but she doesn't seem to shrink from it, either. "I do," she agrees. "I'm not sure I like th..." Alma feels her own fingers start tensing up, a muscle starting to strain past its bonds -- "... you're clearly working very hard, and it's kinda sad your subordinates feel the need to snipe at each other!" ... that one goes down easier. She breathes out, and says, "It's been good to see you too, though!"
Yuliana suggests she go shopping again -- an echo of nothing in particular. She doesn't even consider it for more than a second. "That's a really good idea... it's nice to have so much more time to go around and shop on Earth than either of the last big conflicts that brought me down here," she admits, giving an embarrassed smile and rubbing at the back of her head.
Black, huh... that'd be an interesting contrast with red, at least. It checks out! "Sure," Rusalka settles for, with a nod. "Thanks for the talk, Captain!" She takes a moment to collect herself, and -- if not interrupted -- heads right back out of the building. Even if that marks the end of her lead, well -- she can at least take advantage of the shopping opportunities.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
It certainly is a want, and Yuliana is banking on it being more impactful, given Alma has to make those final connections herself. She's giving her ownership of the evaluation.
Giving her the responsibility.
"It's terrible, isn't it? But I'm so glad you noticed. I do wish more people would appreciate my efforts to help them... I'd be so much happier if they did." Yuliana sighs, wistful -- trusting Alma with a little of her troubles, perhaps.
(Or making sure her grave is properly dug.)
Yuliana agrees, pleasantly: "It is nice, isn't it?" That her smile is pleasant, in this moment, surely means nothing at all. How can Alma be reminded of nothing?
"Take care," Yuliana bids her, warmly. Once she's scurried out, Yuliana closes the door behind her, and goes to sit herself down on the desk, scorning the chair on either side.
Her fingers lift, with gleaming ring, to fan across her lips. All the warmth drops from her smile, as her grin claims space across her cheeks with all the horror and fury of an invading force. There is nothing kind to her eyes, now, as they narrow with fell amusement -- only to shut, as she throws her head back, mouth veiled by her hand.
"Haha...hahahaha...hahahahahaha...!"
What a wonderful diversion--!