2022-03-17: To Be A Friend
- Log: To Be A Friend
- Cast: Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji Ikari
- Where: Tokyo-3, OCU Japan
- OOC - IC Date: March 17, 0096 (2022)
- Summary: Kaworu and Shinji go present shopping for Rei's upcoming birthday.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Slowly but surely, the cold of winter is giving way to the onset of spring. Chaotic as it is, Kaworu finds it's a pleasant transition--a time of both endings and renewal. It's appropriate that the designated birthdate of the First Child is in this season, much as he finds it's appropriate for the day of *his* birth to come in the season where all warmth begins to fade. He'd wondered for some time if he should simply handle this on his own, but... well, some things are hard to let go of. If they're spending time together for someone else's sake, then it's all right to see Shinji, isn't it...?
So after school, Kaworu had called his fellow Child and invited him out to shop for presents for Rei Ayanami's upcoming birthday. He'd been pleased to have that invitation accepted, and agreed to meet him in one of Tokyo-3's shopping districts, in front of an old book store with paperbacks lined in boxes out front. There are other stores nearby for clothes, sweets, sundries, and so on, but this is near the local bus stop and is a good place to start, so it seemed like the best place to meet.
He awaits him there at the entrance, dressed in a dark longcoat and a pinstriped scarf, hands tucked into his pockets. It's still cold enough for heavy jackets, but just barely; soon it'll be a better season for windbreakers, or for simply going without coats at all. For the time being, he watches the slow drift of blue patches in an otherwise low and gray sky. It might drizzle later, he notes. The air has that sort of feel to it.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji Ikari looks at his phone that never rings.
It rang.
"Huh." Shinji considers his options, and decides to prog knife two birds with one stone. He leaves a little note for his roommates, a fresh bowl of beer for Pen Pen, and throws his jacket on. Getting Ayanami something that isn't bandages broken copies of his dad's glasses is a worthy goal.
It takes about twenty minutes for Shinji to get across town to the shopping district and he again wonders why Tactical Advisor to all of NERV pays for such a crappy little apartment. Maybe that was father's real power, Shinji thinks, convincing a bunch of brilliant workaholics to do his bidding for peanuts.
"Kaworu?" Shinji says, looking over at their agreed on meeting place. "Oh, hey. This weather, right? It's supposed to be seventy tomorrow." There was a time when talking about the weather was a sign of having nothing to say, and then Second Impact made the weather what we call 'truly bananas'. Stormwatcher clubs are popular again it befuddles adults around the globe. "This was a good idea. Ayanami needs a little fun in her life."
Who the hell are you to say that?, Shinji Ikari asks himself, but he smothers that urge with practiced ease.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It is a mystery, isn't it? The universe will never fathom how Gendo Ikari manages to keep charming people when he has a negative charisma score.
At the sound of Shinji's voice, Kaworu looks over at him and smiles. "Shinji," he replies, turning to face him. "Yes, so I hear. It's fascinating, isn't it? In times of transition, even the skies experience constant upheaval." He laughs a little. "Though I imagine some might prefer a world of perennial summer, that isn't the world in which we currently live."
His smile deepens when Shinji then remarks on the reason for their getting together in the first place, crinkling the corners of his red eyes. "I'm glad you think so. I'm not used to celebrations, and after what you explained to me about Valentine's Day, I thought your input would be valuable. Not only that, but I've read the reports of Operation Yashima, and it seems like you and the First worked well together against the Sixth Angel. If anyone would also be invested in her happiness, it would be you."
He turns towards the book store and strolls inside, briefly holding the door for Shinji if he lets him. The interior of the store smells--well, like books: dust and old paper, intermixed with the varnished wood of the shelves. A carpet muffles the sounds of their footsteps as they walk inside. There's a counter to one side where an old man tends to a register--he gives the two potential customers a bow and a wheezy, "Welcome to our store"--and signs indicate where fiction, nonfiction, and various subgenres are arranged. Conveniently and coincidentally, there's also racks up front with a variety of cards, stationery, pens, gift bags, and wrapping paper for sale. ...Well--it's visible from the store front, so maybe not *that* coincidental. It's convenient all the same.
"What sort of present do you think Rei Ayanami would enjoy?" Kaworu prompts as he lets his gaze fall on a row of illustrated travel guides. He has his own ideas already, but he'd like to hear Shinji's first.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji listens to Kaworu, not quite a boy of eternal summer. Shinji's known cold, and something about his stance implies it, hunched against the world. He walks in, taking in the book store, but is otherwise quite until Operation Yamashita is mentioned.
Shinji takes a quick glance at a miracle of modern science, that his hands only have a faint spiderweb lattice of burn scars instead of being melted to uselessness. It's still a mark, like the one dread Remiel left just above his chest when he.
When he died.
"Ayanami's alright, yeah." Shinji says as if he didn't totally baby the poor girl on the radio. "When did you two get to know each other, anyway?" I'd say she'd never mentioned that that's probably self evident, Shinji thinks, and it's not like we're so close that she tells me everything. Or anything. She's more like.
"I have no idea." Shinji says, looking over the books. "I think she liked getting to see an elephant but she's not a person who, uh, puts her desires forward. Or needs, really."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu has Shinji in the corner of his eye and so sees when he glances down at his hands. He doesn't remark, though. Some things are perhaps better off left unsaid. He does smile, amused, when Shinji undersells his attachment to the First Child, though.
"We are classmates, aren't we?" he points out. "Though truthfully, I'm doing this not because we're already close, but because I want to become closer to her. If you're asking how I knew when her birthday is, that's simply because it's recorded in her files. Beyond that, we *have* spent a little time together since the celebration party for the Seventh Angel's defeat."
Shinji admits he doesn't really know what Rei likes. Kaworu nods, taking a step towards a corner. Non-fiction books line the wall all the way to the back. "That's true. Many of us Children have been trained to suppress our needs and desires to better suit the adults's scenarios," he comments with perhaps startling casualness--not uncaring, simply matter-of-fact. An unfortunate reality that can only be accepted. "Have you not had a chance to talk with her much lately, then?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"It's amazing how you've picked up admins gift for answering questions with no useful information." Shinji says, but it's in a mild tone of voice Kaworu might understand as 'kidding'. Like many children in his situation Shinji possesses a deeply dry sense of humor he largely keeps to himself. After all, Kaworu did admit it.
Shinji approves, mostly.
"We haven't had a chance with how busy it's been." Shinji admits, trailing through some books and trying to see what feels Ayanami. Poetry maybe? She talks like a beat poet. "Misato wants me cleared on all of the standard mobile suits before my birthday if I can manage it. I still need a bunch of hours in the VF and both lions." Shinji taps a Ichinana patch on his jacket. Certified in one go. "She's been worried about attacks on NERV facilities ever since they dragged Asuka into that Celestial Being task force."
"Bastards." Shinji says, not bothering to hide his contempt. Father knows. "I'm sorry about that Gridman stuff, by the way. Dunno what happened. Maybe a journal? She's waxing philosophical all the time, she might like writing it down."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu laughs a little at Shinji's joke, which he does indeed pick up as a 'joke.' It's funny because it's true. "I have a natural talent for it. Perhaps that's why I was promoted to the position in the first place," he jokes back.
As Shinji explains his time constraints, and how Misato has been having him learn how to pilot machines other than Evangelions, Kaworu nods at him thoughtfully. "Will three months be enough time?" he asks--looks like he's looked through Shinji's files too--before he smiles at the Ichinana patch. "Well, perhaps I shouldn't have wondered. Congratulations, by the way."
The matter of Asuka and the CB task force, Kaworu doesn't remark on. He's aware of it already, of course--or at least, that there was talk of it; the way Shinji describes it, it seems it's become more concrete--and in his opinion, it's better for everyone if Asuka has something else to vent her aggression on. Since Shinji clearly doesn't agree, he keeps that thought to himself, though.
"It's all right," Kaworu reassures him instead. He looks over at the shelves, himself contemplative. "A journal... A means by which to record her own unique thoughts and pin that which makes her 'herself' into a form that can be touched and experienced by others. That *does* sound nice for her." He turns his gaze around, turning himself with it, to face an aisle. The colorful spines lined up within proclaim all sorts of types of cuisine. "As for me... She's been interested in cooking lately, so I've been considering getting her a cookbook." He looks over at Shinji. "I don't know much about food personally, though. As a budding chef yourself, are there any types of cuisine you recommend?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji's been doing a little reading himself, after an incident at home. There is a flash of something across his face and then it's gone, just leaving Shinji looking tired and sad. "You know they say everyone has a natural talent. I guess God's something for irony, huh?"
Ikari looks through journals, Kaworu's impromptu educational rap about what a journal is sealing the deal. It's not too weird. It doesn't say 'I touched your boob by accident once' or 'You look just like the woman I think is my mom.' or anything Shinji doesn't want to deal with right now, or preferably ever. It's a little blank. Maybe some nice stationary? Cat themed, Shinji thinks for some reason.
"Cook books?" Shinji trails off.
Did I embarrass her the other day? Is she sick of my cooking? Didn't I want her to start looking after herself, though? That sad little room. Shinji struggles with happiness that Rei is thinking about something that isn't NERV and a sudden, violent feeling of being replaced.
How pathetic, Shinji thinks, shaking his head. How utterly selfish. "She's vegetarian, so maybe Indian? Indian cuisine's pretty much top shelf when it comes to vegetarian options. I mostly learned from free videos online, but Masahaki-chan or Cooking-Tan Korona both have pretty great reviews for new learners."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
There's a flash of something and then it's gone, and the light mood is gone with it. Kaworu's smile remains, but it turns wistful at Shinji's comment. "Very true," he agrees. And then: "What do you think your natural talent is?"
But then there's a long pause as Kaworu mentions cooking. Watching him, Kaworu's expression twinges towards concerned. "Is something the matter?" he prompts.
When Shinji actually weighs in, though, he chuckles. "You're very thoughtful. That does seem like a sound option. Are those reviews available online?" He trails his gloved fingertips across the spines, then pulls out a hardback in bright orange; its cover shows an artfully plated bowl of curry and naan. As he flips through it, he wonders, "What types of cuisine do *you* enjoy? You seem to mostly cook for others, so I'm curious what you prefer to make for yourself when you have the option."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Things are awkward suddenly.
It's his fault. If he could just swallow his feelings like a good teenager this shit wouldn't happen. There was a time when Shinji could drift through life with the best of them. Where did this sudden passion come from? How can he put it back away, please?
"Hmm?" Shinji shrugs, because he feels it's obvious, even if he hates it. Being 'born to pilot Eva' is one thing but since it apparently extends to robots that don't hate him, well. Sometimes it's even fun, when he thinks of them as big cars instead of weapons of death. "No, I'm fine, sorry."
"Both of them stated on the internet circuit. You know how it is; you get enough views, followers and likes, someone gives you a book deal. I like Cooking-Tan for preference because she's more direct about instructions and she doesn't use marked up ingredients. It's important to know how to stretch a gella these days, you know?" Shinji says, sounding approximately ten thousand years old.
He blinks at that. What do you want? The expression says it all. "I don't know. I'm still adjusting to having an actual budget. I mostly cook for people with no working sense of taste, anyway, so I stick to the basics. I know I kind of sound smothering, but." Shinji shrugs. "Ayanami barely ate before I started making her lunches. I have no idea why NERV keeps preaching what valuable assets we are and then just neglect something as important as nutrition."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Shinji claims he's fine. Kaworu watches him for a few heartbeats more; then he smiles. "All right," he says gently. Whether he believes him or not, he's willing to let it drop, at least.
As the conversation turns to the online cooking teachers, Kaworu's expression turns thoughtful. He's been interested in what Shinji has to say from the start, but as far as this sort of thing is concerned, he actually *doesn't* know how it is. He smiles fondly. "Hmmm... So that's how it is. I'll have to do some research into her work," he replies. The note on frugality gets a nod, and he adds, "It's difficult when market prices fluctuate so much."
But then Kaworu asks after Shinji's own interests, and that seems to make him raise his guard. His smile dims a bit; he's keenly aware of the barrier that was just raised. But then it's back to normal as he eases back a step. "Is that so? I don't really know what 'the basics' are when it comes to cuisine," he replies, looking back down at the Indian cookbook. He turns another few pages, then shuts it and exchanges it for a different Indian cookbook. "For what it's worth, I don't think you sound smothering, though." His expression gentles, even as he keeps his eyes on the shelves. "I like that you care."
As for why NERV doesn't take better care of their valuable assets, Kaworu, who knows the reason perfectly well, refrains from remarking.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji wonders if he put his foot in his mouth again. It's a little weird being the only Natural in a pack of Coordinators; he always thought it'd just be like if he went to cram school, but there are so many little social cues either side just doesn't grow up with. And there's that look on Kaworu's face again.
"Hey, look." Shinji says, picking out some cat stationary finally. "It is...impossible to say this without sounding like a space alien, but hear me out. I'm not used to, uh, people. Being this social. I grew up alone, I intended to always live alone. So sometimes I get a little tongue tied, and that doesn't always mean it's the end of the world. I appreciate the concern! Really. I just don't want you ruining your day because I'm not good at the whole genki-desu thing. This was a really nice idea you had."
Shinji pauses as he realizes, oh jeze. "You probably had chefs up there, right? Okay, well, here, show me your phone." Shinji flips his open. "I used these apps to help shop and plan my meals. This keeps track of vegetable and grain prices and loads coupons, and this one lets you plan a week's meals and lets you know if you need to spring for vitamins. Used to be a real problem before NERV gave me an expense account." Staple foods and vegetables are often limp or genetically enhanced in strange ways, and a certain economic bracket relies on pills or powders worked into stocks and sauces to make sure the food you eat keeps you working.
At least there's seafood.
"Generally you want a protein, a grain, and some kind of vegetable for, you know, health and digestion." Shinji explains. "Keeping track of vitamins is important but I don't know if you and Ayanami have different needs as Coordinators. Is that a thing? I always feel like an idiot talking about it."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's a surprise to Kaworu, as evidenced by how he widens his eyes and blinks rapidly, when Shinji suddenly addresses the elephant in the room (and not the cute one Rei saw recently). As Shinji explains himself, he stares--until he pauses... and then Kaworu breaks into a smile and sincere laughter, the tension draining from his frame.
"Far be it for me to criticize anyone for sounding like a space alien!" he replies, rife with amusement. "Thank you. I truly appreciate you saying so."
When Shinji asks to see his phone, Kaworu trades cookbook for smartphone and offers it to him, stepping closer to watch what he does from over his shoulder. He listens and watches, smiling fondly; the last question prompts him to shake his head. "As far as I know, Coordinators don't have different nutritional needs from Naturals. But nutrition is not something I've generally needed to concern myself with."
He pauses; he's close--very close--but he remains a handbreadth away. If Shinji seems uncomfortable, he'll increase that distance; otherwise, he'll stay where he is. "I grew up alone, too," he adds softly. "On rare occasions, I've had someone by my side, but it hasn't ever lasted. So when I have the opportunity to experience moments like this, I treasure them. At the same time..."
Another pause. His smile fades. "...at the same time, I don't want to cause you pain. It... worries me, that I might be a source of misfortune to you." If Shinji's watching closely, he'll see a hint of strain in Kaworu's face as he looks at him. It *really* worries him. "I don't need you to be 'genki.' I like you the way you are. I'd like it if we could both be the way we are naturally around each other without worrying about hurting one another."
He bows his head for a moment. Then he looks up, meeting Shinji's eyes. "...Am I asking for too much?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
This seems normal. Or at least Shinji isn't wigging out, focusing on running his mouth about rice grains and other inconsequential things. Its like being on the train to work. He doesn't quite get what's so funny about the space alien but, but Kaworu seems appeased. If the poor guy's going to look dead inside every time Shinji gets a little moody who knows what'll happen.
"I left a few links that'll help you out, but for what Ayanami's looking for the book should do.." Shinji says, paying for his and getting it wrapped. Wrapping paper is ridiculous and best left in the hands of professionals.
Kaworu opens up. He REALLY opens up; Shinji turns from handing the man his phone back to just taking it in, eyes wide at this outpouring of emotion. Shinji doesn't quite know what to do with this and his first instinct is to just turn around and leave.
He almost does, taking a step back. Shinji remembers how this strange, sincere boy has been cruelly holding his power over his OTHER friend, driving her even further over the edge and he remembers the insinuations Eisen was making that Shinji dismissed. Shinji's slight and sensitive and has heard it all before, but there is a brief thought that is in turn immediately dismissed as ridiculous. LISTEN, Shinji instructs himself, to what this person is actually asking instead of your own neuroses.
"Everyone causes each other pain," Shinji says after a long minute. "Even if they don't mean to. At least that's my experience. If I promised you that, Kaworu, I'd be lying through my teeth. Any relationship is going to have some friction sometime."
Shinji pauses, gathering his thoughts, and takes a small parcel out of his jacket. "You saved me. On Side 5. You didn't have to, but you did. So I got you something." It is, Kaworu will find, a watch. Not super expensive, but Shinji obviously saved a bit. It has a small piece of metal at its core, and a little hologram with a list of names: people lost when NERV Lunar was attacked, and a piece of the base. "But I'll try. To be a friend. I don't know if I'll be any good at it, but if you want honest Shinji Ikari, I'll do my best."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Thank you," Kaworu replies warmly, taking his phone back and putting it away. He chooses the first cookbook he'd selected and follows him to the front counter. If someone else is willing to handle the matter of gift wrap, then he's willing to allow it. More important to him is the gift itself--and, in this moment, Shinji.
Though there's a lot he hides--a lot he has no choice but to hide--Kaworu is a fundamentally honest, forthright person. If given the chance and space to say what's in his heart, he'll do so. He can't tell Shinji *why* this has been bothering him, but the fact that it *is* bothering him, he takes Shinji's offering of honesty to offer the same in turn.
And then he waits.
He doesn't really know how Shinji will respond. Not for sure. When Shinji takes a step back, Kaworu doesn't try to stop him; he simply waits for Shinji to work through what it is he wants to do. Whatever his response, he'll accept it. ...even if he isn't *happy* about it.
So when Shinji points out that everyone causes each other pain even if they don't mean to, he smiles. It's rueful, but it doesn't contradict him. "You're right, of course," he says simply. And he's prepared to leave it at that, except...
Except then Shinji takes out and offers a present for *him*. Kaworu stares, stunned, even as he accepts the little parcel. He opens it up to find that inside is a watch of a most particular make... He continues to stare at it for a moment longer. Then his blank look melts into a new smile, slower and rich with a rainbow of nuanced emotion.
"Thank you," he echoes from earlier, softer. As he attaches it with care to his left wrist, he meets Shinji's eyes again. "There's nothing I'd like more. I'll do my best for you, too."
Once he pays for and retrieves his wrapped gift, he gives his thanks to the shop owner and moves to stroll out, holding his shopping back by his left hand. His smile has shifted to something brighter and more relaxed. "I'm glad we had the opportunity to do this. It will be wonderful to be able to celebrate Rei Ayanami's birthday with her." He looks up at the sky; it still feels like it's going to rain later, but now, the coolness is refreshing.