2022-03-17: Feeling Your Heart Tempting Me
- Log: 2022-03-17: Feeling Your Heart Tempting Me
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Renais Cardiff
- Where: Tsutsujidai - Starbows
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-03-17
- Summary: Akane tempts Renais with everything she could possibly want and then some. Is she really the one doing the tempting?
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
School's out. Akane has nothing but time to sit there and do... whatever she sets her mind to. Unfortunately, today is the appointed day -- it's time to talk to Renais again.
Akane has been here, now, for roughly seven hours. She's been primarily playing with her phone and sipping at her drink. Today's drink of choice... *started out* as tomato juice, but she actually ran the place out; after three boxes of it, she's had to switch to coffee.
... There's -- a lot going on. She doesn't like any of it. She told Guy she was ready to lie to Renais -- that she's *already* lied to Renais. That much is true... but it doesn't mean she especially likes it.
Then again: she's been sitting here for seven hours, which means she can play her role to the hilt. All that's left is to let Renais arrive and say her piece. For once, she's actually asked Alexis, directly, to make himself available here. She's entertained the possibility that Renais will try to kidnap her -- either as her real plan, or in response to what *she* has to say.
He's out of sight, though. It's just her -- alone, in a booth, in a slow-moving slice of a slow-moving world.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Tsutsujidai doesn't feel as peaceful as it did.
There's an anxiety here, for her, now--and it feels just a little bit... empty? Lonely? In a way it wasn't before. It's odd. She chalks them both up to what happened last time she spent more than five minutes here. Maybe they're the same thing.
She rounds the corner and steps inside Starbows, looking as stoic as ever--but that anxiety overshadows her presence, a bit.
"Bonjour, Shinjo-san," she says with a muted smile, ordering herself a drink. Once it's ready, she takes a seat across from Akane.
She wants to apologize.
She doesn't know if she should.
"I still want to help you," she reiterates from her text, instead.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Bonjour," Akane answers back. She... pivots to French, for now. It's a conscious choice on her part. It'll be harder to communicate anything really complicated, but it'll probably lead Renais around a bit.
Akane brings her straw to her lips. She sips at it. It's a deliberate gesture. "I know," she says, with a little firmness. Her first reflex is apologize -- but you can't concede that against something like... what's wrong with Renais. Not in the least. "I'm okay with that. So... I have an idea."
Here it goes. "I want you to come fight them for me. Here, in Tsutsujidai. I want to make a deal about it." It's -- inelegant, clumsy phrasing. "The next time you fight... beat everyone who comes. Even Anti, if he shows up. If you can do that..."
... she really is a kid. "... How do you do it? Does it hurt?"
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
The pivot to French is at least mildly surprising for Renais, and she looks just a little more at ease. Akane's proposition is a little more surprising--she raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of her coffee.
"And what makes you think I can? You didn't seem to think I was strong enough for it, last time we spoke." Not a jab. It's inquisitive, perhaps probing at Akane's real feelings. "--ah? Does what hurt?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"... You ran, last time, when it started getting bad. And there wasn't a whole lot of upside for you, so that makes sense. So I think maybe I was... not thinking enough of you." She *wants* 'underestimating,' but... she doesn't have that particular word, in French, so she has to work around it a bit.
She sips, slowly. "I know I'm asking a lot. I know, the next time you come, Guy's going to come. And I know you want him back, and he wants you back. So this time... it's a bigger risk, but a bigger reward. I'm giving you a chance to take a big risk, show me what you've got, and if you dig deep enough, you can just... have everything you want. That's how you guys work, right? I know about GGG and Karaba and Chasseur and..." She pauses. Ugh, what's the name of the British one. Shit.
She lets it go, even if she looks stupid. "And... you know. When the energy in you guys... gets in you. I know about that stuff. I talked to Guy about it. I know it's... an energy, and an idea."
... She's going to have to say it out loud, she realizes. "If you win... there's not really much of a point in me *not* letting you do that, is there?"
In her head, she's sounding embarrassingly downcast and sulky; what's actually coming out is sharp. It -- angers her, that things are coming to this, and she's angry with *herself* for not being able to solve the problem without turning herself into a victim, and it's hard not to let that in.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais straightens up as Akane explains herself. Her eyes widen, and she almost can't believe what she's hearing. She stares a moment. "... you're serious, aren't you," she murmurs, leaning forward just slightly. "Even after talking to Guy about it... you're sure?"
She breathes, and thinks a moment. "It's... I suppose the easiest way would be to take you back to, ehm, where we live. The ships are sort of... full of the stuff, you know? Being exposed to it, *feeling* it, makes you understand. It takes time. But it doesn't hurt at all. It's-- it's healing, if that makes sense? Rejuvenating. It's why Reine Noire heals the way it does."
"You wouldn't get to see the Dawn itself for a while, I suspect--the old man says the way's shut, for now." Then again, everything would be much, much simpler if it were open--if Genesic were able to come through...
She almost smiles. "And yeah. It's sort of like that. Chief Taiga likes to say that bravery can turn 1% into 100%. I think he might be underselling his planning, there, but... the G-Stone makes that possible, it's true."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
There it is again. It's better confirmation of her assessment than any amount of intellectual 'yes, that's true' from Guy could be. Once she's not *fighting* the idea that the Aura of Dawn changes things in that way -- once she stops acting like it's horrible that Renais is this way... she basically just admits to it. Being exposed to it makes you understand.
Akane knows this isn't... *really* how Renais feels. She's getting a funhouse mirror -- she can see the shape and the distortion. It doesn't help her to like it; indeed, just the opposite. It makes her angrier at her. To talk this much about the transformative power of bravery with the bootheel of the cosmos lanced through your brain -- it's insulting.
And yet, Akane thinks -- this is still a better person than me, underneath it all.
She breathes out. Breathes in. Puts the mask... more of the way back on, at least. "... If it works out that way," Akane says, "you guys can stage out of here, if you want. I think this place might fall apart if I leave, and that'd kinda suck for everyone, right?" Then again --
'What's the Aura of Dawn?' 'I would describe it as an argument -- an assertion about worlds like yours.'
If she fell prey to that assertion, would she even care if this place collapsed...?
She thinks of Yuta, of Ako and Marusan, of...
... maybe it's better if this place collapses while they're outside it anyway. She's already broken Tsutsujidai's implicit promise to them. They've already seen the world Akane tried so hard to shut out.
... no matter what happens, someone loses -- and a kaiju doesn't feel the pain of loss, so...
"... So that's my offer. Come here. Fight for me. Win. It'll get you a chance at everything you want. And if you fail... you'll fail knowing that '1' was never gonna make it to '100' in the first place!"
She smiles. "Perfect, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais nods slowly. It's still a little unreal for her--she hadn't expected Akane to offer *this*. It's... the best possible outcome for her, really.
Staging out of Tsutsujidai... well, it'd be more than welcome for most of the crew, she thinks. Frankly, she's not sure how they can stand staying up there--she'd go stir-crazy if not for the ability to come down and enjoy Earth. She's about to agree, but something occurs to her.
Alexis Kerib.
Does he know about this? Any of this?
"... and what about Alexis?" she asks--not interrogatively, but with concern. "What's your plan with him? He, ah... barely tolerates me here to begin with, I think. What would he think if he knew you and I were making this deal? And, for that matter, how would we stage out of Tsutsujidai with him here?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
... Akane didn't think this one out that far. Oh jeez. ... How *do* they handle it? "He's never said anything to me about the Aura of Dawn other than what it is. Maybe he'll just let you?"
She really doesn't know. Evidently, she hasn't said anything about her plan to Alexis, either.
She thinks about this, though, for quite some time. "... I think that's kinda something we're gonna have to play by ear," she admits, eventually. "I don't think I can actually make kaiju without him, either, so, uh... well, it's gonna get weird."
... ugh. Back to feeling stupid. Looking stupid.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais blinks once and furrows her brow. "Really? He... hm." She rubs her chin, genuinely a bit surprised. "He told me he'd seen it up close, once. He doesn't quite *get* it, though I suspect he knows quite a lot. Something about him not having a physical body?"
She gives a shrug and takes a sip of her drink. "You're sure about this? When I win--" When. Not if. She's awfully confident. "--it sounds like things would have to change quite a bit for you. Without Alexis... though, I'm sure the Guard can do most of what Alexis does already, if this is to be our home. Perhaps repair the boundary, even?" she speculates.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
... Akane asked a question and she got what she is rapidly coming to appreciate is an incomplete dogshit answer. To call it a little annoying would be an understatement; she's upset. ... then again, she asked 'what's the Aura of Dawn' and got something that many people probably wouldn't have. Maybe he's just over-concise.
"Mmrm," Akane says, bringing her straw to her lips. "I think he's just overthinking what counts as 'outside stuff.' I told him I didn't wanna hear about that kinda thing!" It's easy for her to justify Alexis's treatment of her.
Oh, Renais, you over-credulous sweetheart hero underneath it all. Akane's mood rebounds from the momentary anxiety about Alexis... because she thinks she's pulling a fast one. But --
'Perhaps repair the boundary, even.' Oh... now it's complicated. What does she even want? Does she want Renais to get better? Does she want to stay safe? ... then again, that's -- too many questions. Maybe there'd be some upsides to losing. Akane lets herself think about that just a little too much.
Akane considers admitting the truth: that she's getting sick of feeling this way about Renais. That she'd rather just tear this problem apart than have it stick around. "... Yeah, it's fine," she says, instead. "If this place becomes a hideout for you guys, you're gonna need me here for it to keep working anyway, right? So maybe it won't change that much."
She blinks, once, as something occurs to her. "... *If* you win," she says, quietly, "... there's some people I'm going to want you to chase down. Don't worry -- they've either got literally nothing or just some junk mobile suits. If you can pull off what I'm asking of you, they're not gonna give you any trouble."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais makes an unsatisfied sound as Akane excuses Alexis, settling her chin in her hand. "I suppose," she murmurs, taking another sip. "Honestly, I get... very bad vibes from him, overall." Not that she's got particularly better vibes. "Anyway. We could take up a lot of the slack, at the very least."
She lifts an eyebrow at Akane's request. "Who are you thinking about?" she asks, and "... and what do you want me to do with them when I've chased them down?"
She's assuming Akane isn't asking for Renais to do a hit or three--but it's the sort of thing you ask about, to make sure.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Alexis has always been really good to me," Akane answers. "He responds to my needs when I ask, and he helps me make the kaiju, too." It's -- a practiced answer.
Right. A clarifying question. ... She's going to have to say it. She's going to have to put the words in order. Oooohhh no.
"Ahahaha, it's not... kaiju stuff," comes Akane's answer, both hands coming up in a 'hey, hey, hold up' gesture. "... Rikka, Ako, and Marusan from my class. ... and I *guess* their friends, too, so Namiko, Hass, and Utsumi. If *I'm* on your team, I want *them* on your team, too."
She takes a long sip. It's steadying. "Again, *if* this works out." There's a beat that passes in silence, as Akane games this out in her head, before: "If you do it out of order, the deal's off *and* I'm gonna drop everything else going on to make your job both impossible *and* miserable!" A sweet smile. "No pressure."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Ren eyes Akane briefly at that answer about Alexis. It's got the same shape as things she's heard before; the kind of things you hear from people who are abused, who've been made codependent. Excuses.
But for the moment, she smiles a little. "You want some friends on-side with you... lucky that we'd be moving in here, I suppose. I'm not actually sure how many more beds the division fleet has."
The threat's taken in stride, with a single hand in the air. "I wouldn't dream of it." It's quite sincere; one gets the feeling she'd consider that a betrayal.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Friends, huh..." Is that what they are? That's what Akane wanted, at least. They're set up to be that way. ... Would they even need to -- accept that assertion, to follow Akane? They're helpless to do anything but love her, in the end.
... She shrinks from trying to put the final answer together, in favor of taking another long sip of her drink. "Cool. Good talk," she says, nodding. "So... one way or another, it sounds like things are gonna change a whole lot for you soon." She cracks her knuckles. Leans back in her seat. "So -- heard anything about the next season of Tarabaman? ... Kinda hard to know much, from in here."
(Outside: a Devil of the Hyper World listens. ... this is what he gets for being so permissive, he supposes. He might have to make a real move in order to clean this one up.)
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"Well, Britannia is making a reboot movie. Gritty, dark... 'realistic'. Honestly, it looks like it's going to be a disaster," says Renais. "Let me think--I'm not sure about the next season, but there's a movie releasing soon for Tarabaman Hammer." She pauses. "How do you feel about dark Tarabas? I've always liked the concept--they tend to go a bit wilder with the designs than they do with the heroes, you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Oooohhh no," Akane says, hearing about Britannia's reboot. "It's gonna be so, so bad..." She rubs at her head a bit, then closes her eyes. "And -- ooh, a movie? I'm interested... I guess I'll catch it when it comes out. ... or I'll steal it," she says, playfully. "I thought Hammer was an okay season... hm, dark Tarabas, though..."
She turns that one over in her head a while. "... I think they're *weird* but I'm kinda into it?" she eventually concedes. "I liked the ones in X4 a lot. The first one -- you know, the one that's actually a Dark Taraba*woman* -- is so. Gender. *Especially* when she turns into a kaiju."
In the end, it all really does come back to kaiju, doesn't it...
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Ren has a *very* brief moment of confusion at Akane's use of 'gender', then nods! "Yes! Honestly, she was rather... eye-opening for me, I think. I certainly didn't expect someone so non-conforming. And her kaiju form was... well, I quite liked it, but it's a shame they didn't make it a suit or a puppet."
"Buuut, I suppose I can forgive them, given how unusual her design was. They only had so much budget. But even so..." She gestures vaguely. "It's a fantastic design regardless."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane starts to put together a more complete picture of Renais, when she says *that*. It dovetails... fairly neatly with what Renais had said the last time she intervened in Tsutsujidai, actually.
... she's had a hard run of it, Akane realizes. It'll be good when it's fixed.
Akane finishes the rest of her drink, and smiles. "Thanks for coming back," she says. "I felt like the last time we talked, that might end up being the end of it."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais smiles a little, sadly. "So did I. But an acquaintance gave me a few wise words."
"That if I really do care... if I want to help, I should do so. Even if things are... less than ideal. Leaving for good would do nothing but tell you that what you said right. That I don't actually care about you."
She smiles. It's... warm, in a way her smiles usually aren't. Perhaps a bit of it is the excitement of Akane joining her, but... really, she's just glad to be with someone she considers a friend. The deepened bond after a struggle.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane flinches. Is... that how it works?
"... well, I'm just glad you came back," she says, standing up. "I think I should get going. I've still got a kaiju to make for something else -- maybe you'll get to see it before you make your move! Maybe you won't. Either way, it's something I ought to get done sooner or later."
She can't let Renais see the feelings that's touching off in her, after all. It might bring down the whole plan, and then she's worse off than she was when she started!
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"Ah, probably a good idea for me to do the same," replies Renais, spotting the flinch but opting not to press it. "I hope I do. Honestly, I'm a big fan of your sculpting work." She scoots out of the booth, finishing her coffee... and stepping over toward the counter to order another. "Either way... I'll see you soon, no?"