2024-04-28: To Fight

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<Pose Tracker> Stella Loussier has posed.

        It's another day at Asticassia. About half way through the lunch period. It's 'sunny' out, just like it is most of the time in the artificially controlled environment. Most students are either still sitting and eating or making their way calmly along the outdoor paths heading towards wherever they plan to be for the next period. Which is probably what Elan is doing. Pretty normal, boring student stuff.

        There is the quiet murmur of discussion from nearby students. The sound of leaves rustling in the air flows created by the colony's life support systems circulating. The mechanical chittering of the sprinkler system spraying water onto the grass to keep it shining green.

        A giggle from the direction of once such sprinkler may draw Elan's attention. At which point he'll notice a familiar blonde. She appears to be... Dancing? Twirling under the light spray of water, occasionally letting out a brief laugh.

<Pose Tracker> Elan Ceres has posed.

        Normal, boring student stuff.
        
        But that girl had a list of exactly those sorts of things she wanted to do...
        
        Still, it's true. Elan has already eaten his lunch, a plain and methodical affair. He's currently sitting on a bench, reading. Those who pass by would see the title: The World as Will and Idea, by Arthur Schopenhauer. He doesn't pay attention to the other students passing by, or to the artificial nature set up around them.
        
        He doesn't look up until water droplets from a nearby sprinkler are caught on a breeze and splatter on his cheek. He turns his head and scoots further down the bench, tassel earrings swaying. He may have a pretty face, but he's more concerned with not getting his book wet. It's an actual paperback.
        
        When he does so, though, he catches sight of that dancing girl. He blinks once. Then, snapping his book shut, he rises to his feet and approaches, taking a circuitous route to avoid getting splashed.
        
        He's a reasonable distance away when he stops to watch her with that same lack of expression as yesterday. When she finally notices him, he remarks in his quiet, even voice, "You seem in better spirits today, Stella Loussier."

<Pose Tracker> Stella Loussier has posed.

        Stella actually seems go to on for a while as Elan watches. Looking as if she's off in her own world. She does eventually notice him though and comes to a stop. She's still standing within the range of the sprinkler, though it's only a light spray so she's just a little wet, not heavily soaked. Of course that'll change as more time passes.

        Stella stands there, looking at Elan with those violet eyes as if she's sizing him up. Her expression is very much similar to yesterday's, giving Elan a 'What do you want?' look. As he speaks and mentions her name, she replies back, "Elan Ceres."

        However, she then tilts her head, her expression changing to one of mild confusion mixed with curiosity, "Better spirits?"

<Pose Tracker> Elan Ceres has posed.

        Elan doesn't blame her for looking at him like that. She acknowledges him in the same way he did her--but then that cautious, slightly hostile stare of hers shifts into confusion. He blinks once. His expression doesn't change much, but there is a slight furrow to his eyebrows, expression his own confusion.
        
        "Yesterday, you were upset. I upset you," he reminds her. A beat. "I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to."
        
        That's all he came over to say, really. It shouldn't be surprising that she'd forgotten all about it already, given the state he found her in just now. But normal people don't forget that easily.
        
        Elan would know. It's why he doesn't immediately leave once he gives her his apology. There really is something strange about Stella.

<Pose Tracker> Stella Loussier has posed.

        Elan goes into further detail and it doesn't seem to clear away any of Stella's confusion, "Stella... Was upset?" She looks away for a moment as if she's trying to recall something. There's no sign of any recognition dawning on her face. She just looks back at Elan and says, "Well... Stella isn't upset now. So, it probably wasn't important..." That is probably a sign of forgiveness. While also potentially being a confirmation of her lack of memory of the event in particular.

        Stella looks quizzically at Elan, water dripping from her hair as she asks, "Why does it matter to you that Stella was upset? You don't know Stella."

<Pose Tracker> Elan Ceres has posed.

        Stella doesn't seem to remember at all--she even dismisses it as unimportant. Elan blinks once, again. Based on what she said yesterday, it must have been very important to her. She'd screamed and run away at blinding speed. But now it's as though it never happened.
        
        "I see," he says. There is a certain attentiveness in his yellow-green eyes now as he looks at her, but he doesn't comment further.
        
        ...That is, until she asks why it matters. "I don't know you," he agrees. He pauses. Yesterday, she'd been very upset, enough to make him regret it. He doesn't care about most of his classmates, but that doesn't mean he wants to distress them. (Not necessarily, anyway.) But if she doesn't remember anymore...
        
        Did something happen to her between then and now?
        
        "I suppose it doesn't. Not if you've forgotten," he concedes. Rather than walking away, though, he considers her a moment longer. "Do you forget things often?"

<Pose Tracker> Stella Loussier has posed.

        Stella looks a little annoyed as Elan doesn't actually answer her question. Though she doesn't press the issue as it wasn't much more than mild curiosity driving it.

        Elan asks if she forgets often and Stella's eyes lose focus as she seems to think back. She turns, clasping her hands behind her as she takes several slow steps, finally leaving the sprinkler's radius. She then finally turns to look back at Elan, saying, "It's hard... To know you've forgotten something that you don't remember knowing." She squints, as if trying to do just that.

        But Stella gives up, saying, "There are times... When people seem to expect Stella to remember things she doesn't..." Like now. Stella shrugs, "So yes... Stella's memory is probably bad. But as long as she remembers the important things, that's probably okay." She tilts her head questioningly, "Right?"

<Pose Tracker> Elan Ceres has posed.

        Mild curiosity... Maybe the same could be said of the both of them. Yesterday's outburst had been dramatic enough that Elan felt like he should apologize, but he hadn't planned on pushing it further than that. But there's enough there... just enough... to dig under his walls.
        
        It is hard to know you've forgotten. It's a truth Elan knows well, so he says nothing at first. But... it doesn't seem to bother her. Remembering the 'important' things is enough.
        
        "..."
        
        Vast swathes of nothing. A textureless void. Elan's grip on his book shifts slightly. The past and the future ... are empty as a dream, and the present is only the indivisible and unenduring barrier between them...
        
        "Maybe you're right," he replies, deadpan as always. But there's a certain flatness in his eyes. They flick towards the sprinkler that Stella had been playing in so joyously just a moment ago. "Are you happy the way you are now?"

<Pose Tracker> Stella Loussier has posed.

        Elan seems to go silent for a few moments, leaving Stella to simply stare and blink as she waits for an answer. One that isn't exactly filled with strong affirmation. How reassuring!

        The question that follows causes Stella to ponder for a few moments. There's a brief smile that creeps onto her face...

        ... But it then fades. And her hands raise to clutch at her arms. It's probably not because she's cold from being wet, judging by her eyes staring off at something only she can see, "Sometimes... But the world is so big... And so many things want to hurt Stella. She needs to fight... To survive."

        Her eyes refocus as she looks at Elan, "Do you fight?"

<Pose Tracker> Elan Ceres has posed.

        Stella doesn't really answer Elan's question any more than he did hers. But that's his own fault, really. Why did he use a word like 'happy'? He doesn't even know what happiness is.
        
        But one thing does seem clear as he watches her: Stella isn't at all like the majority of Asticassia students. Whether or not she's like him specifically is another matter, but this is someone who knows real suffering and pain. Is that enough?
        
        'To fight to survive,' she says.
        
        "Yes," he replies. "But not to survive." He gives her a shallow bow of the head--a gesture of farewell, which becomes apparent when he turns to walk away.
        
        He'll have to figure out later if it's enough or not.